 You made a contract with me under false pretenses. Usually when I get forced into a corner I can shoot my way out. But this time you've made that impossible. Have gone. Will travel. Starring Mr. John Daener as Paladin. San Francisco, 1875. The Carlton Hotel. Headquarters of the man called Paladin. Mr. Paladin, do you like a coffee now? Yes, I... Hey boy, what are you doing waiting on the table? I come warn you. Of what? Man over there, he watch you all the time you eat. Maybe so he ennemy, I think I better tell you. What man? Man over by... Whoa, whoa, too bad, he coming over here now. I've never seen him before. I've been nearby, you need me. Yes, I'll let you know, hey boy. Are you Mr. Paladin? That's right. I've been watching you, Mr. Paladin. I've decided you'll do. Well, thank you. What will I do? Well, you're just the man for the job. You're capable enough from what I hear and I daresay fearless. Oh, you flatter me. No, it's not flattering, Mr. Paladin. Facts based upon keen observation. May I sit down? By all means. Thank you, thank you. My name's Felber Fidd. Felber? What can I do for you, Mr. Fidd? Well, I've been sent here by the respectable element of Brackwater. Brackwater? Yes, a cow town south of the Hatchbees. Oh, yes, yes. The respectable element has triumphed in Brackwater, Mr. Paladin. Triumph, I tell you, but it was not an easy victory. Well, virtuous victory never is. Well, there remains, however, one pocket of resistance, one holdout, one sink of sin. And that's where you come in. Where I come in? Exactly. A. J. Banyan is the name. Of whom? The holdout, A. J. Banyan, the prior of the Paradise Saloon, which I tell you is indeed a cesspool of corruption. This A. J. Banyan refuses to listen to the sweet voice of reason, so we are compelled to employ the force of your persuasion. At my usual fee, Mr. Fidd? Of course. Well, that's a relief. So often I've found that the respectable element believes that virtue is its own reward. Well, not in this case. We were paid. Well, then you have just engaged the Pied Piper who guarantees to remove the rats of Brackwater. Wonderful. I thank you, Mr. Paladin. I thank you indeed. Oh, how the good folk of Brackwater will rejoice when they hear these splendid tidings. Constipation is something people don't talk much about, but it can be a problem for anyone, even doctors. And when constipation occurs, it's interesting to see just what doctors consider important about a laxative they might use or recommend. Now, a majority of the doctors we heard from had this to say, a laxative should be effective, gentle, as close to natural acting as possible, and a medicine that can be used with complete confidence. Well, pleasant tasting chocolate at x-lax is effective. Overnight it helps you toward your normal regularity. X-lax is gentle. Next morning it gives you the closest thing to natural action. And that's why many doctors and millions of people use x-lax with complete confidence. X-lax, the laxative that helps you toward your normal regularity, gently. Overnight. Is x-lax in your medicine cabinet? Brack water wasn't much of a town. Wide main street, deep in dust, a few scraggly cottonwoods, aridly protesting against being asked to grow where no tree had grown before. But it was home to the respectable element whose roots went deep, many of them being the first families who helped found this mecca almost a decade ago. The other element came and went, came thirsty and went slaked, hung over and otherwise depleted. Thanks to the hospitality of the Paradise Soul. Hey, Tex, did you hear that? This stranger's looking for Mr. Bangal. You will tell him, shorty! Tell him! Oh, I've got the heart. I'm losing patience, gentlemen. Just a straight answer, please. Where can I find Mr. Bangal? Well, I'm trying to tell you, stranger. You see those four people leaning on the bar over there? Yeah. There's four ten-gallon hats, right? Right. Four gun belts, right? Right. Well, you look lower. Only three of them are wearing pants. The one wearing a skirt is a lady. You ask her about Mr. Bangal. Yeah, thank you. I will. I beg your pardon, ma'am. Yeah, what can I do for you, stranger? Well, they said that you could tell me where to find Mr. Bangal. Mr. Bangal, right? No, Mr. Bangal, there never was. A.J. Bangal? A.J. Bangal. That's me, Alice Jane Bangal. Any comments, criticisms, objections? Oh, no, no, no, none at all. Well, then what can I do for you? Nothing, ma'am. Nothing at all. I guess I got the wrong party. I'm sorry to have troubled you. No trouble at all. Drop in any time. You're thirsty. We got the best drinking whiskey in town. Matter of fact, it's the only drinking whiskey in town. Mr. Fidd. Oh, oh, oh. Mr. Paladin, ma'am. Mr. Fidd, I must ask you to release me from my contract. Release? Oh, no, that would be quite impossible. I'm afraid. A contract's a contract. Of course it is, but it can be dissolved by mutual consent of the contracting party. That's true only. I don't consent. Now, look here, Mr. Fidd. You made that contract under false pretence. That's a very serious accusation. Nevertheless, true. You engaged me to rid this town of a man named Bangan. Oh, no, no, no. I never said anything about a man named Bangan. I engaged you to get rid of A.J. Bangan. But you didn't tell me the A.J. stood for Alice James. Well, no, that's true, in a way, Mr. Paladin. But I didn't say A.J. stood for Albert James or Arthur John either. Now, did I? No, but you led me to believe it. No, no, no. I did not, Mr. Paladin. The subject just never came up. But I can't get rough with a woman. You can with this one. And she'll get rough right back to you. Ruffer. She is the roughest woman you would ever want to meet. You don't suppose if she wasn't that we'd be wasting the town's good money hiring an expert like you? No, no, sir, we'd have thrown her out ourselves. We tried, but she wouldn't cooperate. Mr. Paladin, you place me in a most difficult position. But I reckon you've been in worse ones before. But I could shoot my way out of them. Well, you might have to shoot your way out of this one before you're through. If you're smoking more today, but enjoying it less, try camels. The camel blend of costly Turkish and domestic tobaccos has never been equal for rich flavor, easygoing mildness, real smoking satisfaction every time you light up. The best tobacco makes the best smoke. Have a real cigarette. A real cigarette. A real cigarette. Have a camel. Well, good evening, stranger. Good evening. Right, friendie, you to visit us again. What can I do for you? Uh, uh, whisk you, please. You look like you're carrying the troubles of the world on your shoulders. I am. Then have a drink out of me. Thank you, Miss Bangin. I'm AJ to my friends and to my enemies and folks are either one or the other. I'm sorry, AJ, I'd like to be your friend. No reason why we came. I'd like to talk to you. Go ahead and talk. Well, uh, couldn't we go over to that table where it's more quiet? Sure, why not? ULSC's this grant is the worst president the United States ever had. I wouldn't know, Dick. I've been trying to tell this mule headed shorty here. Well now, who's mule headed? Now simmer down, boys. You know the house rules. Now. Obey them. You'll live longer. Well, all right, sir. This table, do you like it? Yes, it's fine. Well then, sit down. Thank you. Now you have house rules, huh? Oh, in a way. Three subjects is taboo in this room. Politics, religion, and women. Too many good men have died defending one or the other. Yet where would the world be without them? Better old. But you're a woman? Well, I never felt much like one. That's a pity. Oh, I don't know. I'd rather be the way I am than be yoked up to one of these hairy Iranians. These aren't the only men in the world. Only one I ever seen. I was born among them, brazed among them, beard of them. You better get ready to talk, Johnny Ram. I'm ready anytime. All right, then. Just a minute. Excuse me, stranger. Attacks! What? Charity! Next time I'll shoot your head off. I told you to simmer down. I don't mind if you kill each other, but do it outside. Won't have none of you giving this place a bad name. Now where were we, stranger? We were talking about you. What were we saying? Well, I believe that I had observed that it was a pity that a lady of your obvious charm and talent should be born to blush unseen and waste her fragrance on this desert air. Uh, stranger, you talk plum poetic. It is time, Miss Banyan, that you thought of yourself as a woman, a woman still young, still attractive, a woman for whom some man somewhere awaits. Where? Who knows? Certainly not here. The world, my dear Miss Banyan, is yours for the taking. Why? So why don't you abandon this provincial backwater? Come into the wide, wonderful world of gallant men and lovely ladies of whom believe me, Miss Banyan, you have no peer. Will you make that sound my attempting? Then you will leave backwater? Well, I might permit myself to be persuaded. Then, by all means, permit me to persuade you. Look at these hairy-eared tin horns and ask yourself why you spend another day in this jerk-water town. Why, say you are right. You've convinced me that I was born for better things than this. Good. How soon can you leave? Just as soon as you're ready. Me? Yes, sir, just a minute, dearie. Lesson, boys! What's it meant to make? First off, tonight the drinks are on the house. Wait a minute! Wait a minute! The drinks are on the house because I... Your has done. Now, wait a minute. I didn't say that I... Miss Banyan, please. Have it your way for now. Hey, Jay. 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Thought I'd never see the day you'd walk into the paradise. I came over since I heard the news, eh, Jay? Yes, sir. I decided to see it your way. Thanks to this sweet talking stranger. Good, good, good. But it just happens I have the papers right here with me. You want to sign them now? You making the same offer? Yeah, the same offer. All righty. There you go. She's yours, Feldberg. And I'll have the money for you the first thing in the morning as soon as I open my safe. Oh, I trust you, honey. She'll make a fine meeting house. Well, you got this stranger here to thank for bringing me to my senses. I know that. Yes, sir. He convinced me that I was wasting my time here. My keen judgment assured me he was the right man to hire. Hire? What? What do you mean hire? Have you got any idea who this stranger is? No, it all happens a fast. Didn't get around to asking him his name. Well, ask him now. What's your name, stranger? Paladin. A hired gun slinger from San Francisco. At your service, Miss Banyan. Not at my service. Feldberg, who paid him to come down here and make a fool out of me. I meant every word I said, Miss Banyan. Don't call me Miss. You just stand up. Be ready to draw. Nobody makes a fool out of AJ Banyan. Stand up! Go ahead, Paladin. Go for your gun any time. Although you seem to doubt it, Miss Banyan, I have principles among which is consideration for and admiration of the weaker sex. Weaker sex? Draw! I have never drawn on a woman, and I shall not begin now. Draw! You won't draw unless I go for my gun, and as you see, my hands are in the air. Which makes it convenient for me to relieve you of your gun. You may live to regret that you didn't let me kill you in a fair fight, because I'm going to make you prove all those sweet words you told me. Why, you're going to want me and dine me, Mr. Paladin. You're going to romance me. You're going to show me the world at gunpoint if necessary. Valver? Yes, AJ. You still deputy in this town? Yes, AJ. Want to do me a favor? Sure, AJ. Look, this critter up in the jail house until I come for him in the morning, will you? Sure, AJ. I'll be glad to come along you. Brother, this miserable cold and my sinuses. Haven't you heard about Dristan? Dristan decongestant tablets not only help drain all eight sinus cavities, critical areas of colds infection, but circulating through the blood, Dristan reaches all congested areas. In one fast-acting, uncoated three-layer tablet, Dristan, for the first time, combines a decongestant to shrink all swollen membranes, relieve pressure and pain, an exclusive anti-allergent to help keep breathing passages dry and clear, pain relievers to ease body aches, reduce fever, vitamin C, to help build body resistance. This is Dristan. Today, Dristan is widely imitated, but the exclusive Dristan formula cannot be duplicated. For real relief from colds misery and sinus congestion, there's nothing, nothing like Dristan decongestant tablets. Thelber Fidd played his part to the hilt. Poking his gun in my ribs, he pushed me out of the saloon ahead of him and marched me down the main street for all the town to see. Then we turned a corner in the direction of which I assumed was the jail. But once out of sight of the town spoke, he pushed me into a door across which was the sign Fidd Land and Development Company. Inside the office, he locked and bolted the door. Now, this time, you've gone too far, Paladin. Look here, Mr. Fidd, just pay me my money. I'll be on my way. With AJ? Not if I can help. You wanted me to close her saloon, and I did. But I said nothing about taking her away from Brackwasser. Oh, that's her eyes. You've bewitched her. You've stolen her from me. From you? Yes, Paladin. And you may as well know. I've admired Ms. Bagnon from afar for a long, long time. I've always felt that she could be deterred from her evil ways. She would make a man like me a fine wife. Oh, Mr. Fidd. The fee I offered you was not put up by the respectable element of Brackwasser, but by myself. And I must say, in all frankness, I don't feel compelled to pay you for this ultimate breach of contract. Look, Mr. Fidd, I don't want the lady just the money. Oh, yes, but it appears you have her. She is leaving with you. None of I can help it. Look, if you want her, take her. You didn't mean what you said to her? Well, yes, I meant every word of it, but I didn't mean that I was the man to make her dreams come true. Oh, well, when Mr. Paladin, you know, I think I am. Good. Now, you just hold that thought. And in the meantime, just give me back my gun. Let me get out of here. Yes, I'm inclined to do that, Mr. Paladin. Only there's one thing I want to verify before I let you go. What's that? Having watched your technique with AJ, I've come to the conclusion that one can't fail if one simply treats her with a lid. That's not only true with Alice Jane Banyan. It's true of every woman who ever lived. Come in. Good morning, Miss Wong. You got special fat letter from a place called Blackwater. Oh, yes, I've been wondering when it would come. And I earned every penny of it, Miss Wong. Oh, look, there's something else in envelope. Oh, yeah. Miss Alice Jane Banyan and Mr. Felber-Fidd request your presence at their nuptials. Friday the 13th, that 3 o'clock at the first Blackwater church, formerly the Paradise Saloon. Oh, you're going to make you present at both yours? No, no, Miss Wong, no, I think not. I make it a policy never to get mixed up in marriages. Thursday Thursday Thursday people everywhere prefer ice cold Pepsi-Cola and because it's light, it refreshes without filling. Charlie, be sociable. I am, Kay. Pepsi is a favorite of thirsty people from Maine to Hawaii, from Alaska to Florida. Charlie. It's perfect for parties or picnics, so serve Pepsi to your guests. That's helpful, but... This is the sociable part. Everybody, remember, it goes fast because everybody likes Pepsi. Singing still sounds more inviting. May I? Be sociable. Look smart. Keep up to date with Pepsi. Drink light. Refreshing Pepsi. Stay... But singing doesn't say, pick up an extra carton of Pepsi today. Better yet, get a case. You do that. Will Travel. Created by Herb Meadow and Sam Roth is produced and directed in Hollywood by Frank Parris and stars John Daener as Paladin with Ben Wright as Hayboy and Virginia Gregg as Miss Wong. Tonight's story was specially written for Have, Gun, Will Travel by William N. Robeson. Featured in the cast were Howard McNeer, Harry Bartel, Vic Parran and Jeanette Nolan. Our sincere congratulations and good wishes go to the staff of the radio station WAAX in Gadsden, Alabama which has joined the ever-growing list of CBS radio affiliates. Welcome again, WAAX. This is Hugh Douglas inviting you to join us again next week when CBS Radio presents Have, Gun, Will Travel.