 Flo, this is going to be a really good show. A lady writes, I'm bitter, life hasn't treated me well. I know I'm wrong, but I don't know what to do. Kathy, I'm concerned about what does it take to be a good Christian? I bet getting rid of bitterness has something to do with that. Oh yeah, stay tuned. To sister to sister, we're so glad you've joined us today. We are five opinionated women of God, and we answer your questions from our hearts according to the Bible. So listen to this, you wrote to us, and I can identify with this. I just dropped my daughter off at college for the first time. The school encouraged parents not to contact, message or call them to let the kids reach out to you first. That's what you're writing to us. It's part of the growing process for them and as us for parents. I can't. I just can't. So how do you handle the children leaving the nest? What do you do? Flo, did they fly the coop? I pushed them out. You can't clutch with the chickens and fly with the eagles. You gotta pick one. So I'd rather raise eagles and the nest gets uncomfortable. But anyway, no, no, serious, that that can't, that really can't be a challenge for us as parents. I don't want to say just moms, but as parents because this is a shift for you. And I just want to give a little different perspective because I know everybody's going going to hit it from the practical standpoint. From a spiritual standpoint, I just like to challenge us to think, empty nester usually is associated with the home being changed, but we are the house of the Lord. And so it's never empty in this temple. But what I have now is more room, more space, you know, for Holy Spirit. I have more room, more space for relationship and the presence of the Lord. As a mother, like I've learned this through my grief, you know, I knew my husband longer than I knew myself. I was a mother and a wife longer than I was flow. And so now my life has changed. And so not only am I the widow, I am the empty nester because I'm a mother to grown children. But this temple is still the temple of God. Christ hasn't moved unless I put him out. So I'm never, you're never an empty nester as long as you have. Amen. Where was I got the memo to big, bold colors. Do not visit your child, do not call. I'm like, okay, all right. I was a lifeguard and I also taught swimming and this to me was like throwing the kid in the water and seeing if they could swim. So of course I did not do that. And well, it does say train up. And I like I said, where was flow? Her advice is awesome. I'm in the eagle, you know. So I did not do that because I was very close to my parents who would not have survived in college without the wisdom their wisdom, I'm sure flow gave wisdom and so on. Everybody's different. How could they say, don't talk to them. We're supposed to train our children. I wasn't one of these clutching over, not, oh, I hope I wasn't overbearing. I'll have to ask them. But you know what? The lifeguard doesn't just throw the kid in the water. They train and teach as they are swimming and then maybe they step out of the water as they learn. So I think it's a process and it depends on each child. So can I tell people don't listen to the college rules? I don't know. This is crazy to me that some school is going to tell me not to contact, message, or call my kids while they're at school. Now, right now some of the universities they're being called government and doctor national camps. So I'm going to let their voices be the prominent voice in my child's life. Oh, I'm gonna call and I'll call whenever the heck I want and it's none of your darn business. I like that. I like that. The irony of it is that that same college requires you to sign over everything in your life. And they're giving you blood. Including all your money, please sign here. I'm like, I don't think so, right? But I do, for the practical side, think that you have different kids. Like you have some kids that you need to create boundaries for. Like they're calling way too much and you need to set up boundaries and help them figure out, like they don't need you as much as they think they do. And then you have other kids that are literally like, I still have parents, like that you need to set expectations for them. Look, you know, let's talk every Sunday night or let's, you know, so it's like, you have to help them in their maturing process. And you have to help in your separating process, help set up those boundaries and those expectations. One practical piece of advice, don't spend every time you talk on the phone complaining about how you don't ever talk on the phone. That's right, that's right. Amen, that's good. Why do you think what Roxanne said, it depends on the child too. And Flo said, whoop, fly. So, fly, fly kids. I needed to fly. Yes. And they flew, they fly well. They flew well. They flew well. They do fly, like you guys were saying, because you push them out, but you're there to catch them if they do. Oh yeah. All right, well, I have another question. I did this in the promo because I think a lot of people might feel this way. And a writer says, I am bitter. Life has not treated me well. Rant, rant, sorry. I, sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, it's wrong. I think Kathy's bitter. What should I do about it? Amen. No, I'm almost in tears of this question and you're like, what one? Sounds like a Charlie Brown show. You just, you know, some people, I just, my heart breaks when they've just experienced, you know, trauma and drama from early childhood and parents and drugs and alcohol and divorce. And I mean, I can't explain all of that, but I can immediately think about a story in the Bible in Ruth where Naomi, her husband dies, her sons die. She feels like she's lost everything. She tells the daughter-in-law, go, go live your life. Stay away from me because now I'm Mara. I'm a woman of bitterness. But at the end of Ruth, and this is what I would encourage that person, you know, as we know, you know, Ruth and Boas get together. They have a son and the women all in the town say this to her, this woman of bitterness. May he be to you a restorer of life and a nourisher of your old age. So I just think whatever has happened in this life of bitterness, it's not the end of the story. And let the chapters and the story develop and really know that God's plan is good ahead. And he has a good plan for you. That's horrible because I'm so sorry. The only reason I'm jumping in is because I literally thought about the same exact story and the key part for me was Naomi was able to express her bitterness. She, I think too often in the church, in the Christian world, it's like as soon as someone starts to express any sort of despair or bitterness, we shut that down. We're like, oh, but look at other people in the world or oh, express your joy. You're a Christian. You have to be joyful. And I think we need to allow people to express despair and sadness. We are Christians. We are not robots. We experience despair and sadness and real emotions. And Ruth stood beside her. She didn't try to fix it. She didn't try to guilt her. All she did was stand beside her, walk beside her and go along with Naomi. That's what she did. And I think more of us need to do that with those who are experiencing those feelings. And in the end, Naomi was able to come out of that, but it wasn't because Ruth was like, rah, rah, I'm your cheerleader. She just simply walked beside her. That is so good. Good stuff, good stuff. Bitterness really is a state of mind. And Proverbs tells us that it is as rottenness in our bones, you know? And in Ephesians, it talks about putting that bitterness away. So to your point, how do I put it away, you know? And so I always say, God knows anyway what I'm dealing with. Like I don't get this whole thing about pretending I'm not hurting or pretending I'm not angry. Be angry and sin not. And when I'm bitter, and I've been bitter, you know, to go to my face Roxanne and just cry out before the Lord and ask for help and ask for healing because it's poisonous. It's poison. And what's in me is gonna come out. What do you have for me? Well, I just thought about what everyone was saying that Ruth left the land of bitterness and went to the land of promise. That's Lehan, the land of bread. Come on, good. So, and I think it's the Psalm 73 that says, when I went into your sanctuary, I understood your ways. So sometimes we have to leave the land of bitterness and go to the land of promise. The Lord says, I will restore what the canker worm has eaten. I will restore you. So we look forward. Paul says forgetting what's behind. Going forward. We use what's behind to help us have compassion and empathy for others. But now what are you gonna do going forward? You're gonna go to the land of promise or stay in the land of bitterness? That's right. That's so good. So anyway, sorry, I went, but I just, when I read that, life has not treated me well. I know. And I feel like, pick it up, get moving, leave it behind you and go to the house of the Lord because there's joy. So that's me. Anyway, this is a good one too. Wowie. My friend told me that I need to claim my healing, but I don't know if it works that way. Yikes. I can give you my background of Bible school and sort of the doctrine of the word of faith and this word claim. And this idea comes from Mark 11, 23 and 24. Whoever shall say unto this bout and be thou removed and shall believe in your heart and not doubt. You will have those things whatever you say. So it's this element of that there is power of life and death in the time. So it's the idea, talking about bitterness, for instance, I would say I am struggling with bitterness and I need a breakthrough in my life. What scriptures from the word of God are coming alive to me? It's not like some, it's like the joy of the Lord is my strength. So I'm going to believe in my heart and I'm going to speak those things out of my mouth and I might feel bitter right now, but what I'm believing and what I'm speaking is the joy of the Lord and I will walk in joy and Jesus died on the cross so that I don't have to live a bitter life. So I claim this for my life in Jesus' name. I like it, I like it. What do you have, scripture queen? Oh wow, you know what, he did bear our sicknesses. He bore our diseases and you know this claimant thing, how do you claim what you weren't given? You know, God gave us healing, gifts of healing, but he decides when the gift is used and Jesus said, thy will be done, thy kingdom come. So there are times when we can't claim something like there's magic in us. There's no magic in us to claim anything. Whatever has already been done in heaven is going to be done here on earth. And sometimes we have to just say, thy will be done, I think that hyper faith movement has destroyed a lot of Christians. But I like the Mark scripture. Yes. I mean, Jesus said it. Yes, he did, but he didn't heal everybody. That's true. And it wasn't, to me when they said he didn't heal in Nazareth because they didn't believe who he was. Christians believe who he is. They believe he's the savior. Nazareth, they didn't believe him. They said, oh, you're the son of Joseph, you're not the Messiah. We believe he's the Messiah, but sometimes he doesn't heal us. And sometimes we have to accept that fact that his will must be done, that his will is greater than our will. Right, right. What do you have, Flo? You know, I hear both sides. And I guess me being who I am in my experiences and having experienced healing and having to engage in the fight to go and get it, while I totally agree with you about the will of God, but what is the will of God? And for me, it's that nunch of parish. What is the will of God? Healing is to children's bread. What is the will of God? He has, you know, Jesus came for those in need of a physician. He's not a man that he should lie. He came so that I would know God in a way that was greater than what the Pharisees and the Sadducees knew him. I said, right, right. And so those, that religious group was so caught up into all of, not just the rhetoric, but all the rituals that they didn't even realize the God that they were serving. And so Jesus came wrapped in the flesh, God wrapped in flesh and presented us, you know, reacquaint us like, hey, this is the God that you're burning all this incense to and making all these sacrifices to. And yet at the same time, again, what do you do? What do I do when I pray for something and it doesn't happen? And sometimes to be quite honest, I don't know what to do with that. And that's why I stick so by, I don't have to create a doctrine for what I don't understand. That's why when you say, I think some of the hyper faith or some of whatever you wanna call it has done some damage because when it doesn't happen, it's like people begin to draw back away from God, you know? And sometimes when it does happen, you tend to have more faith in you. And what I did, you know, I did that. I pray for this to not happen. And I, you know, like right now we're moving, I'm working with the prayer center and one of the biggest things, the greatest move of God, the move of God has to be multicultural, multi-denominational, you know, and multi-generational. And I think, you know, it's been prophesied that the next revival is that of the no-namers. But where's the platform for the no-namers? And so when we have prayer, my house shall be called a house of prayer, but what is the least thing that takes place in the house of God? Prayer, you've got 45 minutes of worship, you've got 30 minutes of the word, and prayer is when you come to God with your laundry list at the end of the service, you know? So, you know, when you talk about claiming anything, healing a job or whatever, you know, as you said earlier, is that job something that God wants me to have? Is this sickness something? I've heard people give testimony. I don't want to kind of testimony, but it's true. Some people have gotten testimony, have testimonies that, you know, God wanted them to walk through a certain thing, you know, so that they would then be able to come back and help somebody else. Well, I'm gonna ask you to come back. We're gonna wrap this section up right after this. ["Sister to Sister"] Welcome back. You're watching Sister to Sister, and the questions keep on coming. We appreciate you sending them into us, and you wrote this, as believers, are we to believe in fate? Ooh, I don't know. What do you think? I'm gonna be real blunt about this. Go ahead. I believe no, because God says, Isaiah 46, I believe I, the Lord, declare the end from the beginning. God's will will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Fate or this mysterious something that happens without the Lord? No, I don't believe that fate, superstition, all these things to me kind of go together that we're relying on something out there, but not reaching to the God who created, loves us, and helps us through life. That's right. Corey, what about fate? I just think fate is a word that, like, worldly people use for the Lord's will. That's good. Like, I really just think it's a replacement word. And there is a Christmas song. Oh, yes. That have yourself a merry little Christmas where they say, through the years, we all will be together if the fates allow. And some Christian artists have replaced it and say, if the Lord allows. And I am like, it always bugs me. Every time they say, if the fates allow, and I'm like, no, the Lord, the Lord. Good one. That's good. What do you have, Amy? Fate. Well, now I'm like in a Hallmark Christmas mode. And I just went to this complete happy place and I'm trying to come back to the question. Do I believe in fate? It's like that this was destined to happen. It's beyond your control. It's something supernatural. I mean, I think what's scary is the worlds of good and evil and what you're yielding to, to be your fate and what you're standing for in faith in the Word of God. I think that there's a lot, I don't know, there's like a lot of things to be discussed with the idea of fate. Yeah, we're trying to discuss it, but I don't know. How to get it to it. How do I do it? I mean, I don't believe in fate. But here's what we pray for. We pray for divine appointments. God, give it. Well, I mean, I'm at a place and that person shows up. It's not by accident. It's a divine intervention. What I would not call fate, I would say it's the Lord's hand at work on their life. And that's good. Do you have a fate? When Andy gets into a hallmark movie, it's the Lord on fate. It's fate, no, it's because you worked hard and you're a good actress. Do you have a fate answer for me? Not really. Okay, I'm gonna move on to the next question. This is our question. It's fate. The fate has allowed me to go. Can we put us in a Christmas tree? This one is good because I think you can relate to it. We all can relate to this. What makes a good Christian quarry? Jesus! What is a good Christian anyway? I mean, that's how we are justified. That's how God sees us. I love that picture of like where there's the big chasm and we're on one side and God's on the other and it's the cross in the middle and that's the only way we get there, you know? But I know what the question's asking. To me, the word that keeps popping into my head is growth. Like, that's what being a, I mean, I really can't stand the term good Christian. Like, it's just like, but like, but- Only God is good. Right, like that's, but like in order to be like, you know, you have to be growing. Otherwise you're lukewarm, you know? And what does the Bible say about being lukewarm? It spits you out, either being hot or cold or you get spat out, you know? Nobody likes lukewarm drink. Like, you have to be growing. That's the sign that you are, you know, a, I don't even know what, I don't wanna say good Christian. Like, what's a replacement word for that? A follower of Christ. A follower of Christ. This is a rough question because in today's world, we represent the king of the kings and are we being a good representative of this? Honestly, you should just drop the word good. Like being a Christian should be that you are growing. You know, you don't need, you shouldn't have to put the word good in front of it. Like you, there shouldn't be a bad Christian. You know what I mean? You should just be a Christian. Well, have you ever met Christians that bear bad fruit? Yes. So to me, I kind of thought, if I were to break it all down, let me see the fruit of your life. Because that's who you are on the inside and that's what comes out. So the idea is that when you're a follower of Christ, you're following in his ways and you're bearing that kind of fruit in your life. Do you have a scripture for this? Oh, you know what? They have been excellent, but I have to say what's, I'm gonna talk about what happened to me. To me, Christianity is always moving forward and what is God's word for you now? And Micah 6, 8, you know, oh man, what is good. To do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. That's God's word for me now. And so I need to walk in that word. What was God's word a couple of years ago or whenever? We need to walk in what he has spoken to us. So how do I do justice? How do I do good? How do I love mercy? Then that's the treat, the exploration that we walk with God to figure out. Right, right. Good Christian, wisdom of flow. You know, I really was vibing, as they say. You're vibing! Vibing! Vibing! Vibing! Just to vib this out. That's the wisdom of flow. She's vibing. She's vibing with Roxy as she is. Well, all of the sisters, because you know, for me being a Christian is I'm still discovering what it is. Because I'm still discovering my God. And those that know their God will do great and mighty exploits. You hear me say that time and time again. So knowing him isn't something that happens for me in 24 hours or 48 hours and five years, et cetera, et cetera. What is a good Christian? One that, to the best of their ability with the help of the Holy Spirit, models the life and the fruit of the Spirit. And that is the answer right there. It's not by works, it's by faith that you are saved. We'll be right back. Today, we're gonna close with a scripture. And you can begin to get it together. It's Psalm 73, it's in Psalm 73. I believe it's verse 26. And it's a quintessential Psalm. It makes us reflect on that human part of us. And will help us to get clarity and to readjust our attitudes and our perspective on things. And you know, the Psalm reads like this. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. You see, that Psalm was written by someone, Asfa. Asfa was a worship leader and he was a prophet in the time of King David. Now, Asfa got challenged because he got a little bitter. He got a little angry because things were happening that he just, it to him seemed unfair. And you know, we talked about bitterness today. It made him come to a point of crisis where he almost for a moment lost his faith in God. And you know, anger took him on a course that was not God's best plan for him. Today, my prayer is that you will see sister to sister cornerstone television as your crisis center. And we will be there. If you call that number at the bottom of the screen, we will minister to you about your crisis. However, our greatest prayer and desire is that Christ will be the center for you. Yep, and Christ is the center for us and we use scripture to keep that in our hearts. This one as iron sharpens iron, so does the countenance of a man or a woman sharpen the other. We are the sisters.