 I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man and I'm here to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey yes boys and girls it's comic weekly time and here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness right out of the pages of pop the comic weekly straight into your living room your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man oh hello hello ha ha ha little bitch honey how are you today? oh I'm just fine no why? because the stork brought a new little baby to the people next door oh really? yes the kids isn't that wonderful yes I just love storking hmm hmm oh I know a good riddle about a stork oh goodie what is it? why does a stork stand on one leg? I guess I'm not as smart as I thought I was oh you're very smart but the service since the baby was born oh well I guess I better yes please read the funnies pop the comic weekly yes very well I will in just a moment but before I do let's listen to this nice man now here we go with pop the comic weekly and on the first page hop along Cassidy magic words for the music please very well my lady six counts blazing as he thunders along give us music for a hop along Hoppy and his pals have finally discovered that Wiley the fake doctor in the town is the leader of the ghost raiders they've trailed Wiley to the entrance of the rock maze cave today they surround him while he says how did you manage to locate this rock maze cave Hoppy replies that's your own doings Wiley you made the mistake of starting that brawl with me in your office you realized you were cornered and had to escape the last thing I remember was you slugging me with that stove poker I must have toppled against you ripping off your side coat pocket as I fell in it was this diagram which seemed to describe this maze of passages that's what led us here California exclaims big picture third row yeah straight to the hiding place of all the loot you and your ghost raiders stole Sheriff says first picture next row looks like the game is over Wiley Wiley snarls yes it will be for the first man who comes near me last picture fourth row he pulls a little bottle out of his pocket saying this bottle contains enough nitroglycerin to blow us all up blazes I'm leaving by the rear exit from this cave and I advise you to keep your distance till I'm out of here Hoppy says first picture next row don't be a fool Wiley hand over that bottle and he begins to walk toward Wiley who starts to back away from Hoppy California calls hey come back Hoppy you can't reason with him the fool's going to start looking slowly Hoppy moves toward Wiley who continues to walk backward holding the bottle in his trembling hands suddenly Wiley stumbles California yells look out Wiley falls to the ground last of the explosion that's Hoppy and his pals out into the open air the cave presses down on Wiley last picture they look at the sealed up entrance of the cave which is now Wiley's tomb Hoppy says I guess that closes the case on Wiley too bad California exclaims yeah I'll say it is we could have used an extra hand to help get that stolen loot back to its rightful owners right because after all he was going to kill Hoppy in California and Lucky and everybody yes a lucky thing for Hoppy that he was near the entrance to the cave when Wiley stumbled oh it certainly was well now Hoppy has ended this adventure and it certainly was exciting yes indeed I hope next week we'll have another exciting adventure oh I'm sure we will now I'll bet you it's time for Prince Val he's always on page three well let's look and see if he's there alright see there he is yes see there he is last week was exciting because the captain of the ship that Val was sailing on defeated the pirates mm-hmm and they're continuing on their way home Val and Arp and the pretty young girl Adele whom Arp has fallen in love with let's read more about them today and see what happens next alright here we go with Prince Valient in the days of King Arthur Eckert, Breckert, Graham Valken and Quince music romantic for a fair fair prince Val looks at the smoke pouring up from the pirate ship which is disappearing in the distance and sheaths the singing sword never before has he seen a pirate ship so easily discouraged a brazier of burning coals and a skin of nephra has left the corsair ablaze the ship continues on its way Cape Finisterre is passed and the ship sails out upon the wild bay of Biscay where winter storms are their only peril where the Viking pirate ships are roared by hardy fighting men and the sail is used only when winds are favorable when the storms are raging and they must move forward only by rowing they beach their ship in some sheltered cove as we see them doing last picture top row but the Mediterranean mariners put far out to sea at day's end and with shortened sail glide forward through the next night and then each sailor faces toward his homeland and prays to his god and each one says a prayer for the helmsman as we see big picture in the middle of the page for it is in the helmsman's strong hands that their lives are trusted through the dark hours and often Arf will take his loot and help speed the lonely hours singing songs of sheltered homes amid fruit trees and sunny meadows far from the troubled sea at last first picture bottom row the misty shores of Britain appear and they search for some landmark but they have no instruments of navigation to tell them where they are one home and in a short time they are putting into harbour Arf and Adele stand side by side as the vessel docks at executor their two young hearts are troubled for this is the hour of parting and then last picture the sailors gather in front of Arf and the helmsman says we have a gift to give the sweet singer those songs of ease or hardships of the boys yes it certainly is do you think they'll ever see each other? well let's hope so if they love each other we certainly hope so I wonder what surprise the sailors have for young Arf well that's something we'll find out about next week now? well agency well let's read that right now here we go with Donald Duck say the magic words with me squee jump squee jump squee de chicka-chack let's have music to better quack quack Donald's attention is aroused by Dewey yelling excitedly hey come quick out of the house dashes Donald, Huey and Louis and Dewey points to a box and says proudly two weeks later Donald looks at the kittens who are growing fast and he says dog is a basket a big one Dewey replies good idea uncle Donald last picture top row Huey and Louis come out of the house carrying a basket and first picture bottom row they put the kittens in the basket and cover them with a nice warm blanket and then Donald says I'm going to give one everyone to every neighbor who's dopey enough to take one Huey exclaims they go down the street carrying the basket Dewey complains he sure is dumb sometimes and Huey says gimme no way perfectly good kittens down the street they go to give away their perfectly good kittens their face is looking like a thunder cloud a little later third picture bottom row they come back in the house carrying the basket Donald says I need to give them all away Huey replies cheerfully better than that he sets the basket down in front of Donald and says we crazy and he lifts off the blanket and out of the basket jump a monkey rabbit frog aim rat chipmunk turtle and a parrot and last picture Donald tries to read his paper as the parrot as the monkey pulls his hair and the parrot says pretty paw pretty paw nice boy what about duck and Donald snarls I'll go fly up I should say so the kids pooled in that time didn't they trading those kittens for all those other pets and look at me I imagine you would yes I would but you're not Donald well I wish I were today I'll bet you do well now what well Dagwood and Blondie do today well let's find out here they are on the first page of the second section and here we go ramma foo ramma fum zim zam zombie conjure my music for Dagwood and Blondie Herb Woodley Dagwood's neighbor is away in a business trip Mr. Woodley his wife is afraid to sleep at home alone so Blondie tells Dagwood second picture Dagwood Mrs. Woodley is going to sleep here with me tonight you go over and sleep in their house Dagwood answers cheerfully okay I'll get my pajamas and by the time you get to the last picture top row Dagwood is at the Woodley house settling down for the night and he says hey Herb's bed soft and comfortable it's so quiet here too I'll get a fine night's sleep Herb's picture next row who should be coming up the walk but Herb Woodley returning from his business trip he exclaims oh gosh I have no key and Tootsie's probably sound asleep oh well I'll go in through a window so he goes around the house and he opens the window he sticks his head in and he's socked on the head with a baseball bat and last picture second row he lies on the ground with a naking head and he moans oh that wasn't Tootsie she can't hit that hard oh I'll go next door and quiet the bumpsteads first picture third row Herb is told Tootsie and Blondie what happened and Blondie tells him Dagwood is sleeping in your house tonight Tootsie is sleeping here with me Herb grits his teeth and exclaims give me our key Tootsie he dashes out of the house picks up a club lets himself in his house quietly and then tiptoes upstairs finds Dagwood in the bedroom sound asleep and Dagwood is awakened by a sock on the head he leaps out of bed thinking Herb is a burglar and he fights back saying and I was having the nicest ring out into the hallway they struggle down on the stairs they roll Tootsie and Blondie dash in and turn on the lights Tootsie exclaims boys boys stop playing it's after midnight Blondie takes Dagwood by the hand and leads him out of the house he's so beat up he hears birds chattering as she leads him home she says beautiful night isn't it the moon and all Dagwood exclaims so many stars last picture as he climbs into bed and lays his aching head on the pillow he says be it ever so humble there's no bed like your own oh that Dagwood don't they just like two boys and everything yes but they certainly are funny though I love them so do I oh Roy Rogers and I'll read that in just a moment but first here's that nice man again with something interesting to say now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly and on the bottom of page one of the second section Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboy magic words for the music please very well my lady I yip I oh now here we go with Roy and Trigger I yip I oh the outlaws have outsmarted Roy's friend Cube Root they've stolen the box of gold and have galloped away with it in the stagecoach Cube was discovered that the box that he let them take was the real gold and not the box of sand he had meant to go on the coach as a decoy today Roy and Cube are on the trail of the bandits as they top a rise on the hill Roy says second picture I see dust down the honor in Teton Valley meanwhile one of the outlaws looking back sees Roy heading toward him he hollers hey two homerays entering the valley looks like Rogers and that local transportation expert Jut the other outlaw shouts back okay Beetle we'll out box him at the next bend they go around the next bend and there they rain up quickly they jump out and unload the box of gold dust Beetle says is this the spot where we meet ballast baits Jut replies yeah he'll handle things from here I'll drive the stage on to decoy Rogers and Root quickly the box is put behind a bush Beetle hides behind beside it gun in hand Jut climbs on the stage coach again and gallops away from around the bend a moment later last picture top Ro Roy and Cube gallop up Roy yells there's the stage I'm riding ahead Cube you hold me up Cube replies yes but you need help handling these outlaws Roy giddy up Jenna be here and they gallop on after the stage coach as they disappear around the bend Beetle jumps off from his hiding place begins to pull the box of gold dust from behind the rocks first picture bottom row a huge man with long hair appears and greets him ahoy Beetle you're ahead of time well well well where's Jut Beetle replies oh he's decoying a couple of medallers away from the buttes while we hide the gold ballast you give me a hand here quick huge man picks up the box of gold dust and walks toward a tall rock a hundred feet high with sides that go almost straight up ballast says cheerfully that's flat top butte Beetle there's no way up there so that's where we're catching this gold until things cool off Beetle exclaims hey quit talking riddles hey wow there's some wind as they get to the foot of the rock Beetle exclaims hey but how in thunder are you going to get the gold up on flat top huh ballast rins opens up the back of the covered wagon standing there and takes out a huge kite saying you're going to find out right now Beetle exclaims hey jump in bullfrogs what's that some kind of kite last picture Ballast says Jut tells me you can ride anything Beetle well get ready to mount a real buck I think that's what this idea is Beetle's a small man and he can fit into that big kite well what for I believe that Ballast is going to try to guide that kite so it'll carry Beetle to the top of the rock what for oh you'll have to wait till next week to find that out now let's turn over the page and see if oh look here's Splash Gordon oh yes and remember last week that Dale had been caught by the Martians yes and they pulled her into their rocket ship thousands of miles in the air and that's the same ship that Splash and Jinger prisoners on too and the Martians thought Dale was dead and we're about to throw her out of the ship well read quicker I want to see a flash test something to stop alright here we go with flash Gordon riga riga dune dune saskimatash let's have music for heroic flash believing that Dale has been killed by their cosmic ray blast the Martian pirates start to cast her out into space flash shouts in desperation don't Captain Toxel will want to see proof that you captured the earth girl the Martians are impressed by Flash's logic they hesitate the last pick to top row while the Martians are trying to decide what to do Dale's eyes flutter open Flash pretends to talk to Jinger using American slang which Dale will understand but was meaningless to their captors he says life awesome darling get him along Dale quickly understands what he means and pretends to be dead again suddenly first picture bottom roll an urgent message from Toxel forces the Martians to leave their prisoners temporarily unguarded Dale works frantically to release Flash's bombs and the moment he's free she leaps to the control panel of the Martian spacecraft while Dale controls the spaceship Flash launches a surprise attack on the Martians who are in a forward compartment but the uncanny creatures from another world are telepathically warned of the approaching danger and last picture a hissing sound fills the apartment Dale gasps warns Flash not to breathe Flash guesses what new weapon the Martians are using in a pants breathe oxygen put on your space helmets they're letting all the air out of this ship they're trying to change the air in the room where Flash and Dale and Jinger are so that they won't be able to breathe oxygen which is what people from the earth must breathe if they're to live you mean they put something in there that doesn't have oxygen in it? that's right oh that'd be terrible because if they can't breathe yes if they get their helmets on in time though maybe Flash will find a way to outsmart them do you think they will? well that's something we'll have to wait until next week to find out but now it's time for Dick's adventures so let's get over to the very last page and here he is and I'm anxious to see whether Dick will have a new adventure today well let's find that out right now so here we go with Dick's adventures and say the magic words with me we're going to be packed with Dr. Dick let's have music for Dr. Dick Dick has been reading a book just before falling asleep as his eyes close sleep comes and the book he's been reading falls from his hand entering the room a few minutes later Dick's dad smiles the last great battle that made us a united country is in these pages son hmm well maybe you're dreaming about it now and in his dream things begin to take shape in his mind as Dick goes back back back through the years with the early days of America and in his dream last picture top row Dick is leading a hard-riding company of continental cavalry wandering down a dusty road of Virginia just before dawn September 1781 reaching a farmhouse Dick suddenly throws up his hand and instantly the men jolt to a halt Dick leaps off his horse and walks into the farmhouse first picture next row Dick reports to his commander-in-chief we delivered all the dispatches sir the general Nathaniel Green general Rochamble general Lafayette general Koskiusko and a colonel Alexander Hamilton and colonel light horse Harry Lee general Green and Koskiusko are besieging Charleston the others are closing in on Yorktown by order sir Washington nods his approval and by an hour after dawn last picture second row the fields around the farmhouse are swarming with troops and the stars and stripes are flying but also the flag of France for Ben Franklin and Lafayette have finally won French help the whole vast American contingent moves and then from the brow of the hill first picture bottom row Dick sees Yorktown fire at the end of the peninsula where the red coats under Cornwallis have been driven with their backs to the sea while coming up from behind them is a large French fleet under Admiral de Grasse and Dick is saying Cornwallis is a dead duck he can't get out of this coop while in a palace in England last picture a worried king is muttering yes I agree that this rebel Washington is an admirable soldier but Cornwallis will whip him to his knees big dad he must oh they are there preparing for a battle between George Washington and the English commander general Cornwallis that was one of the most famous battles ever fought in America we'll see that battle next week oh I won't miss that and now look to the interest do you remember last week that Rusty and Tex found out that that horse that that little girl Queenie owned was the fine race horse yes that's the horse that Queenie was afraid would be sold and that's why she had hidden the horse and Rusty wants to help her out and now maybe they can run the horse in a race and make money so Queenie won't be poor anymore let's read and find out if that's what happened here we go with Rusty Riley gallop and run till the road is dusty give us music for his horse and Rusty Tex nods his head as he looks at snowflake Queenie's horse and says yes sir Rusty this year horse is a harness racer well cool her off come on in and see me in the barn okay Tex come on Queenie as Queenie and Rusty walked the horse toward the barn Queenie asked Rusty if snowflake isn't a race horse Rusty replies oh sure she is Queenie only instead of being ridden by a jockey she pulls a little two wheel cart called a sulky a little later Rusty and Tex are talking third picture top row Tex is saying before we go too far with this horse of Queenie's I figure we ought to find out a little more about Queenie's father snowflake looks like valuable property I know what you mean Tex but what I promised Queenie I wouldn't tell her dad at least not for the presents Tex walks over and takes down his jacket last picture top row saying well okay lad but you and I better take a little ride over to the Lexington Trotters track old Sam may be able to tell us something Rusty answers well that's the track where the plug horse derbies run first picture bottom row arriving at the Trotters track Tex says to Rusty as he gets out of the car yep old Sam was one of the greatest drivers in his day what do you don't know about harness racing you could ride on a posted stamp with a shaven brush oh there he is fixing that selfie oh hi Sam I'd like a little information old Sam replies say you want some information Tex well what is it I'll help you if I can Sam of all the outstanding Trotters your pieces of the last five years how many were white they settled down on a bench old Sam says not many Tex only recall about six that is outstanding horses Tex says good now I'm narrowed down still more the horse I have in mind is a white mare with a black stocking on a near hind leg old Sam sits up straight and says black stocking hey Tex that's easy couldn't be no other horse than Rainer Blanker she was a dilly she ruled off the treks never believed he'd done what they accused him of but him and his horses grabbed plumb out of sight Tex's eyes narrowed thoughtfully as he says hey let's hear more Sam what was he supposed to have done Snowflake is the horse that old Sam's talking about it might be and old Sam says he was a wonderful race horse who I'm anxious to find out about this wouldn't they let that man race the horse anymore well that's what he's saying and that man could be Queenie's father oh I can hardly wait to find out more about this well you'll have to but I promise you next week we'll find out whether or not the horse old Sam's talking about is Snowflake and we'll also find out whether the man he's talking about is Queenie's father oh isn't this exciting I sure wouldn't miss that either will I now that's all the time I have but before I go here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information all right Mr. Comic Weekly Man but I'll be waiting for you next week okay that's a date and a date with all you boys and girls be sure to meet me with a little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the Comic Weekly for I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey don't forget boys and girls see you all next week your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man