 Hi, I'm Rusty Komori and this is Beyond the Lines. This is our first TV show of the new year and I want to wish you a very happy and healthy 2019. We are broadcasting live from the beautiful Think Tech Hawaii TV studio in the Pioneer Plaza in downtown Honolulu. This show is based on my book also titled Beyond the Lines which is about creating a superior culture of excellence, leadership, and finding greatness. Today's special guest is Brandy Keana-Jo. She is becoming one of the most popular, most sought after holistic life coaches in Hawaii. Brandy promotes unity and positive change by inspiring people to reflect on their natural gifts and live a purposeful life and today we are going beyond your purpose. Hey Brandy, awesome having you here on Beyond the Lines. Thank you so much for having me, Rusty, I'm so grateful. You and I, we know each other for a while and we get into some really deep juicy talks and we'll probably do that today on the show but I know you grew up on Guam. Can you tell me about how it was growing up on Guam? Yes, so born in Guam until I was nine years old until my parents divorced and I went to Washington. When I was in Guam, I loved it there. You don't think it's so small when you're living there, when you're growing up there and I had family all around me and I was really into theater and arts. I loved, I really wanted to get into sports but because of what my parents were going through it wasn't entirely an option. So what did you like about the theater and arts? Well you know I actually started acting when I was three years old. So I got into singing, dancing, art, creating art, drawing, writing, I love writing so everything about arts, everything about theater, I love. And then when did you come to Hawaii? I came to Hawaii when I was about 16 years old and I actually, how I came to Hawaii is because my mom was going through some depression and I suggested for her to take a trip somewhere to get away, to be inspired, to enjoy life again and she decided to come to Hawaii and when she came to Hawaii she found someone, she found love and then a few years later she said we're moving to Hawaii and so I came here and that's how it happened. And you went to Kaiser? I did. How was it at Kaiser? I loved Kaiser High School. I have some of my best friends today from there and there's so many wonderful memories that I have of being at Kaiser and I love that school. I love the camaraderie, I love the teachers, I love the experience that I had there. And then I know you spent a bunch of time in Seattle as well? Absolutely, yeah. 20 years actually, 20 years in Seattle and 13 different cities and I actually left Hawaii to go back to Seattle and I traveled around the world for a little bit and then I just came back about four or five years ago. And the other month you and I were at that Juliet Lighter's event, the Women's Speaking Out, her Speak Love campaign and you felt like a really deep connection with what that whole Speak Love campaign was about. Why is that? Well first off I just want to say big thanks for Juliet Lighter for putting on that wonderful event and inspiring women to speak out and share such vulnerable aspects of their life to inspire other women. So for me there is a lot of different things that touch base for me, the physical abuse, the vulnerability of sharing a piece of yourself to others that you just didn't know could take you there. There's a lot of things there that touched me. Yeah because a lot of, like Juliet, I had her on my show a couple months ago and she shared a lot of her really deep stories and at the event there was a lot of other women that were sharing their stories. Do you have any stories about physical abuse? I do. Unfortunately I do. Growing up there was a lot of physical abuse. In what way? From my mom and I love her to pieces and I think that abuse is something that is, it's a response, it's a reaction that someone can provoke on others and it's something that can also be expressed unwillingly and wantingly I think and growing up there was a lot of that physical abuse. What kind of injuries did you have? Well it was more emotional scarring, it was more of the emotional distraught of my mother having that effect on me and it wasn't so much of like I had a broken bone or things like that but I did, I mean she would beat the crap out of me for sure and she would ground me for reasons I think are irrational such as not having the dishes done, maybe it's like one fork in the sink and not having that done by the time she gets home from work, being grounded for a long period of time and then if there's anything that was out of order because I would have to clean the house every single day while she was at work especially if I missed the bus, if I accidentally missed the bus I'd have to vacuum and clean the entire house every single day and if there was anything that was out of whack then I would be grounded or I'd be punished physically or whatever. I remember prior to coming to Hawaii I was in a relationship, it was kind of like my first puppy love relationship and I really tried to be obedient, I didn't cuss, I didn't lie, I tried to be obedient as much as possible but I really wanted to see my boyfriend before I left to come to Hawaii and she really didn't want me to go see him and this was like a week prior and she chased me around the house with a bunch of knives and she started beating me up and she tried choking me out and things like that and yeah so I know that she was just really frightened about me leaving her, I knew that because it was just me and her in the household that I was all who she had even though she fell in love with someone but really when it came down to it I was kind of like her rock that helped her through a lot of things that she was going through in life and so that's one example, I mean she would throw everything at me, everything in the garage, I mean you name it, she threw it at me, I mean she would, you know... So that wears on you, that's mental abuse as well? Absolutely, absolutely, I mean there was also the manipulation that intertwined with it as well because she was so wrapped up in fear and that could be of anything, fear of abandonment, fear of not being presented in a certain way and there's so many different ways that she would manipulate things so that I would do, I would do a certain thing, say a certain thing or act a certain way. Did you ever experience sexual abuse from anybody? I did, I did in fact when I was five years old that was the first time so there's been multiple occasions that I was sexually abused by different people throughout my life and when I was five years old I knew that this, I knew that it was something that wasn't right and even though I asked for help I couldn't get it, that's actually the cornerstone when I realized that I needed to look after myself. But at five years old so young. Did you ever have any suicidal thoughts at that time? Yes, you did. Five years old was actually my first attempt to suicide. So what did you, what did you do? I tried to hang myself like what I saw in the movies and so but I mean being so young and not really having the right tools, I mean obviously I didn't succeed but I tried several times later on in life in my teenage years when I was sexually abused a couple of times when I was raped, when I became an adult I tried as well and it's, there's a lot of things that I think about suicide that is, it's a very interesting topic. So Brandy why, why did you become a life coach? Well because of all the things that I've experienced I feel like everything happens for a reason all the things that I experienced everything that I just shared with you was like training for me that was like training for me and it's it wasn't just you know like oh this bunch of crap happens to you and just move on get a job. I realized that as I overcame all of those different things that it was worth sharing and in fact it was my purpose it's my purpose to share that to help heal and prevent traumas like that happening in other people's lives and and to help people become healthy and happier if it did happen in their life. Oh those are like some I mean major extreme experiences I mean whoa I mean that's like wow very very deep and extremely extreme and no now I get it why why you became a life coach and so many people think that you're like 21 years old and and you're 35 right? Yes and I now I get it because of all those major experiences that you've had and how you're able to really help people in every capacity basically but Brandy I want to know what exactly is a holistic life coach? Well holistic if we look at the term holistic whole it really means whole so with holistic life coaching I look at all facets of life in order to empower someone to be the best they can be to be healthier to be happier and to have a more meaningful life and when I look at when I say holistic and I say whole and I mean all facets of life I'm looking at their diet and physical well-being their relationships and communication career and spirituality and then we dive in even further so it's very complex but I try to simplify it so people can understand more about the connection that they have with them within with others and then the benefit of working together and then talking with you off camera I mean it's not a one-size-fits-all I mean you look at each individual person to really figure out a unique situation that will help them absolutely absolutely it's all customized to that all customized individualized to that person and that means that I don't I don't have like a standard that everybody starts on I meet you at where you're at in life because everyone's different everybody has different triggers different inspirations there's a lot of different things that are playing into your life and so I need to meet you where you're at and we start from one conversation and move forward I want to know brandy there's other life coaches what makes you different from all those other life coaches well there are the various topics that we'll discuss absolutely but a really big important thing for me is that you understand how we're breaking through all these obstacles because if you understand it if you really really understand it then you'll become independent to breaking them on your own and then you'll also help others and so that to me would be the greatest gift is to be that ripple effect and continue to help other people with the things that you've learned I know that makes sense brandy I want to really thank you for sharing you know your personal I mean the deep stories I mean that you just shared earlier but we're going to take a quick break and then when we come back we're going to continue going beyond your purpose you are watching Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii with my special guest brandy kiana joe we will be back in a quick minute hey loha my name is Andrew Lening I'm the host of security matters Hawaii airing every Wednesday here on Think Tech Hawaii live from the studios I'll bring you guests I'll bring you information about the things in security that matter to keeping you safe your co-workers safe your family safe to keep our community safe we want to teach you about those things in our industry that you know may be a little outside of your experience so please join me because security matters aloha aloha this is Winston Welch I am your host of out and about where every other week Mondays at three we explore a variety of topics in our city state nation and world and events organizations the people that fuel them it's a really interesting show we welcome you to tune in and we welcome your suggestions for shows um you got a lot of them out there and we have an awesome studio here where we can get your ideas out as well so I look forward to you tuning in every other week where we've got some great guests and great topics you're going to learn a lot you're going to come away inspired like I do so I'll see you every other week here at three o'clock on Monday afternoon aloha welcome back to be on the lines on Think Tech Hawaii my special guest today is brandy kiana joe who is quickly becoming one of the most popular most sought after holistic life coaches here in Hawaii and today we are going beyond your purpose brandy you in your life coaching you do a lot of group workshops you also do tons of one-on-ones can you share with me things that happen at your workshops for example well I mentioned earlier that I love art yeah and so um sometimes we'll do art therapies we'll paint we'll draw um we'll do writing exercises because I I love to write and I think that when you're actually using a paper and pen and you're doing the motion of writing it really helps you express yourself in other ways that you wouldn't verbally yeah and I think that a lot of people are artists in many ways yeah and so it really allows them to have that opportunity to to share and to um to even surprise themselves um along with that there's a lot of interaction I love to inspire interaction I want people to connect and and to communicate to to really um not just share information but really find ways to connect with other people that they wouldn't normally and brandy I want to know what what's a common situation that you see when people are coming to you for help people are in in the midst of a transition so um usually people come to me when they are not completely clear on what direction that they're going to take and so I help them to understand what that is so that it is aligned with their endeavors their aspirations not outside influences so it's not what I think is best for them as well it's it's really about helping them align and tune in to what is it that they really really want how do they really want to get it and then creating action steps tangible steps that allows them to get there and brandy you know you've run some very popular girlfriend events and I was a guest speaker at one of your events which which was I loved it and I like how at your events it goes really deep I mean there's some really deep things that we discuss and really talk about some very great inner reflection and one one of it that we've talked about about relationships and some people have to realize that certain relationships have an expiration date um and some relationships last forever but what are your thoughts about relationships and divorce and situations like that I well first of all you are a wonderful guest speaker at girlfriends and it was such a delight I think for everybody that showed up to get your perspective on things when it comes to marriage divorce um I 100% believe that some relationships have an expiration date I think that if if two people when we look at marriage first of all we have to understand what is marriage in the first place it's an agreement between two people sharing their life together when we look at divorce we also have to look at what is a divorce it is severing the contract of that life partnership so when we break it down into smaller pieces anytime we are attracted to somebody else it's actually a reflection of what we want inside and what we want our environment to be like if someone loses that attraction again it comes back to what does that person feel when that person is with the other person so if someone wants to stay married then you have to work on yourself that doesn't mean that you need to be separate to work on yourself it doesn't mean you have to have a divorce to get back together but you really need to understand where you are in life presently if divorce seems like the best option for you I think it's going to take a lot of choices before you get to that point but if it is then it's really about you letting go of expectations that you may have of yourself allowing yourself to be present and evolve with what you think is what love is and what you think that you need in life so I would like to go deeper with that with that question because I don't again I know I know how deep you can go on some of these topics but now brandy I know that you definitely go beyond the lines and you have been positively impacting tons and tons of people and you're a huge promoter of my book and I thank you so much for that I want to know though what what do you what is it about the book that you like I absolutely love your book I love everything about the book I think you do such a wonderful wonderful job in storytelling and really explaining things that's very easy to learn very approachable to a wide age range from teens to adults to CEOs which makes sense why it has been sold out multiple times on amazon and and so many wonderful people are picking up the book I think that you do such a wonderful job in explaining how people can be successful how people can work together and leaving an impression that it's much more about winning a game it's much more about a score it's really about your connection with people and I think that's my favorite part of the book it's it's it's the evolution of how we are connected to each other ah nice very nice whoa well good job to you for writing it well and then you know you've come in contact with tons of successful people but I want to know what your definition of success is it's being the greatest expression of yourself and I also think that it encompasses the freedom the ability and the inspiration to serve your community wholeheartedly now passion is a huge thing for people we want everyone to find their passion right and I want to know what what's something that you are very passionate about life I'm passionate about life's experiences perspectives our connection how we evolve people fascinate you yeah indeed so why why do people fascinate you I mean you I mean you just you have such a wide lens and you you're so accepting of so of everyone basically why is that well we that's how we learn we learn from from people we learn from experiences and I think a lot of times people will well people learn in many different ways you can learn by watching TV like this TV show you can learn by reading a book you can learn by traveling but you wouldn't be able to learn anything if people weren't there if if if there wasn't anyone to have a conversation with you I mean you can you can learn and and and observe things but when you really really get down to how you are going to unfold I think a lot of it is through connecting with people or the disconnect with people yeah now obviously brandy you've dealt with extreme situations in your life what's what do you think has been your greatest adversity or your greatest obstacle that you have to overcome in your life it would be becoming an entrepreneur really actually um because it I had to learn how to charge people to help people and that was the biggest thing for me because I've done so much nonprofit work and I've helped so many people pro bono but I had to realize that I needed to eat and I needed to pay rent and I needed to how I have all these ideas to help the community in so many different ways how am I going to support myself to do that I have to charge I have to make sure that I make a living and that was the hardest hardest thing for me to do is to charge yeah well I mean you can't I mean you're so great at you know being a holistic life coach and the popularity I mean it's just skyrocketing and I'm lucky that you know me I'm lucky I know you now what do you see brandy are some other challenges that people deal with when they come to you for help um having the courage to share but that's the first thing that we nip in the butt right away I want people to understand that trust is the absolute foundation for any of this to work and so I share everything as much as possible I try to I pace so I go at your pace I check in with you and that's the first hurdle is for people to like you know I'm going to share some deep stuff is this the right person is this the right person to say this to is this person going to judge me what is what what is this person going to say about me and I really like to Malama I really like to massage those kind of expectations and help them understand what expectations are what ego is what intention is what is intuition help them to really identify their their abilities and to help them express it so they feel strong and they feel like the world has their back yeah well I mean when you share your history and you know your experiences and you go really deep like that I mean it definitely opens the door for everyone else to feel like it's okay for them to do the same and they become vulnerable as well what do you do for you when you need to center yourself a million things give me one or two things a million things well I'm always reflecting I'm always coming back to what am I feeling how am I defining these emotions is this serving me in my highest good is this depleting me I was just giving me life and when I look at these different things that's going on in my life I try to make sure that I add lots of love lots of love meditation sleep good diet connecting with people having time alone but a big part I think that a lot of people get really mixed up a lot of people will say I'm very spiritual you know I'm not feeling that you know maybe there's an opportunity that comes into their to their their lane and they say oh I'm not really feeling it well it's not really being spiritual at all it's actually being very judgmental if you really want to come from a spiritual standpoint you're going to ask yourself what what could I learn here because spirituality it really has to do with growth it has to doing has to do with the evolution of your soul of of who you are and who you'll become and you know we don't always know what will become it's really about the journey so so always asking myself what am I learning here how is this benefiting me how can I add more love to my cup I totally get it and you know I like that you know I know that you're trying to have people reach their fulfillment I'm trying to have people find their greatness and reach their fulfillment so we're all trying to help people achieve their greatness and brandy I really appreciate you being on the show today to really share your story and and about why you're a great holistic life coach and want to thank you for being on beyond the lines today thank you so much I think you do a wonderful job and you know what you're doing here the book the tv show is such a blessing to all of us thank you brandy thank you thank you and thank you for watching beyond the lines on think tech Hawaii and I also want to thank my clothing sponsor Yolani Incorporated for more information please visit Rusty Komori dot com and my book is available on Amazon Barnes and Noble and all Costco stores in Hawaii I hope that this show inspires you to create your own superior culture of excellence and to find your greatness and help others find theirs aloha