 Thank you so very much, Kaye Alex, for the riveting conversation on youth and politics. Kaye, so pay attention to the corner, and again, thank you so very much for, you know, trying or helping us dissect things that usually look a little bit, how to say, not very palatable. You are still watching Why in the Morning, the hottest breakfast show around. But today, we said it's going to be the latest from now on. Why to buy from Facebook at Y254China on Twitter, hashtag is Why in the Morning. So we're about to finish with Man Crush Monday. But on a slightly more somber note, we'd like to give you, again, the breaking news. We have a school, precious talent school in Tagorete, Nairobi, that a classroom has fallen. So according to the updates, we have six confirmed dead, those are six people's confirmed dead and dozens of others trapped. We are very sorry for what's going on and we, as a station, offer our condolences and we will keep you in the loop as the information keeps streaming in. So please don't miss out. And if you have any legit information, Why to buy from Facebook at Y254China on Twitter, hashtag is Why in the Morning. If you use a text sign, 20154, start with Y254. Kerebune Sanatrungu, how are you? Nakao poa poa. Let's start with the queen of the group. Hi, queen. Kerebukwetu. Oh, thank you very much. Ulku me enda api. I've been around. I haven't been around just, you know, keeping it busy, keeping it real. Chasing pepper, you know what they say. You're getting your own. Yes, I am. Thank you. Please do tell them what your name is. My name is Tracy Kikuyu. I am a student at the University of Nairobi, studying journalism and mass communication. What are your social media handles? Let's just say I don't I am not out there that much. I like to keep the peace and quiet. Really? Yes. Kaisu is going to like you. He will. He definitely does. Yeah. All right. So how have you been? I've been good. I'm going to put you here. Nice to be back. I missed you guys. Kari pute na kandu na san. Onak witen na nyoku. Zulu Benjamin? Yeah. You don't the doctor in front. I know calling a doctor would just like that. Mithambi, okay? You say Zulu Benjamin, that's okay. Oh, wow. You're a humble one. Why are you so humble? We'll come back to that later. Sasa Dari. Po asana. Guys, if you don't know this guy, he used to be a very, very, very diligent behind the scenes bee. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. N'abu na kaga po ambo na ote koko TV before we should pick up our tears. Let's say I'm coming to the end of the scenes, like I learn my particular opportunity to be in front of the cameras. Yeah. Tell them what your good name is. My name is Zambros Masiko Anjala. Or you can simply call me Rofi. Yeah. Social media is not good. I'm very active in the social media. Facebook, that is at Rofi Rofi. Instagram, Rofi Kenya. Twitter, same way, Rofi Kenya. Yeah. To me, it's a case of Kevo, Brayo, Jonte, and Ali, Pia, Mengia, Pomoha. And to just Kiazako. I just want to say that Rofi is a humble guy. Mementing to Kichazan Dogo. Kuele? Yeah. Usubui, Western 8 Town. N'abu na nisumbu e to. Look at him. So today we're talking about suffering in silence. What does that mean to you? Okay. Suffering in silence, like, I'll say it's... That moment, you have issues, you have problems, but you don't want to share it out. You keep it to yourself. Then it will come to you. Do you have new fans and Chelsea fans? I think, I hope they're holding a meeting and discussing. Because you keep it to yourself. Actually, Zohana too. Okay, I'm a Manchester United fan. I'm a fan of you. Me too. I'm a man, but I'm also a Zohane. You're going to pay your money, surely, surely, surely. What do you think about guys and their lack of expressing themselves? Well, one thing that I may say is that when we talk about suffering, it doesn't really have to be physical. Someone doesn't have to hit you for you to be suffering, actually. Someone can just inflict torture and pain to you mentally, physically, through words or actions without even having to lay a hand on you. So, guys do suffer out there. Men, in specific, they do suffer just that they don't get to say it. That's what we mean by suffering in silence. Maybe it's their ego. You know, sometimes a man may suffer or may have issues that are burning him up and he cannot open up and say them because he feels like it is emasculating. He feels it will make him lesser of a man if he were to express himself. So, guys or men do suffer and they just don't have the chance to speak out. You see how we've come? We've come with opinion, opinion, and now we want fact. Okay, so I have an opinion as well and I imagine that a guy who will never really come out and tell you, okay, maybe, for example, I tell him I want something. Oh, babe, I want this. So, he takes a bit of time but gets it for me. And there's no explaining, okay, I did this and this and this and this. So, that means in a situation where maybe it's purely monetary, maybe I'm a hassle for three weeks just to get me that one thing I want. He would never tell me what the hassle is. He won't tell me what he went through. He just says, here you go, you want it, now I've got it for you. Let's begin here by saying that the role of being a man by itself predisposes us to pressure because society expects us to be tough, you know, lion's shed no tears, you know, and the society where men meet around alcohol and bars come drink at the table of men, you know. And then we're being told toughness is now masculinity. And then we come to define toughness as being always on top of things, always ahead, always leading. So, the first pressure that comes from being a man is the societal wrong expectation that you're always tough. The other balance is, at what point do I become human? If I'm always tough, this is what I want to encourage all men. Just because you're being called upon to be tough, to be ahead, to be doing things and all that. And, you know, the six pack, you know, somebody said, I love my six pack so much that I've hidden it under a layer of fat. Wow, wow. You know, doing a lot of gene to build the body. It's good, some people love that. But I think we need to have balance. You remember to be human. You remember to say sometimes you've not gotten it right. I tell men that you don't have to talk to ladies if you fear them, seeing you is weak. Especially when I say I'm at a dating, because so many ladies are out for dinner because I'm on a feeding program. And you find someone is very broke simply because they're not making 2K and they're not making it. And I have an advantage, but I'm not a man. It's economical. So you're a smart guy. It's sustainable. I did it so that I don't sink. If I spread all my few coins on all of you. I beg to differ a bit. It isn't always the case. You could have one lady, but this lady texts and texts and texts and pushes you to the wall. I have seen men who have... Are you that type? Tracy, let's talk. Most definitely I would say no. But we have ladies out there. I am a lady. I'm speaking from things I have seen, things I have had. We have ladies out there that will take and take. It's almost as if you're investing, but you never get anything back. You become a Mercedes Benz. And you have to come and fill the gas. And you have to pay for it. So she's really right. I'm not saying you can just be a lady. I said one reason I ask guys to be real is narrow down on what you want in life. This guy is banning something. Give him that. Okay. We have these guys. I won't say I'm one of them. Yes. I'm so generous. I meet Tracy on the roadside. Hi Tracy, how are you? Nice lady. I'd like to take your boots. You see? I've offered myself to take her out. Okay. Is it real or is it an example? I'm being great. I'm being great. I will wish to take yours. Now that I'm categorised, what do you want to spend with the... Again? Will you categorise me as a person who like... Spends on every other. Because I'm too generous. Being a bachelor and being generous is a different thing. Neither am I me by saying I have one lady who I'm entitled to treat. I'm saying there are guys who are just... Who just lack focus. You spread yourself so thin that you're generally everywhere and nowhere in specific. Okay? Everybody knows you as an acquaintance, but nobody knows you as a friend. You don't spend enough time. So what you're saying? First pressure, I don't know who I'm talking about, but they have a duty to impress every lady. I'll tell you, he might have realised, really women like Tracy, love you more real than you acting what you're not. And this guy who acted at the time, he said, I'm too generous to spend money on you. So I'm saying he's the one who has a duty to impress every lady. So I agree with you. Being generous is a very good thing. Because you don't want to sting a man again. Yes, that is actually true. That is why I always say there is a difference between generous and stupid generous. Wow. There is a very big difference. You know, if I have something, I will give it to Val. I have this, I have two of them, so I can give it to Val. I'll share. That is good. That is generosity. But there is a point where someone gets very stupid generous. That is very different. Please, let us not confuse it to be generous. There is stupid generous. And another thing is that why men suffer nowadays is because they have taken a turn to believe that for you to be considered as someone who is macho, someone who is a man, you have to spend money. Do you know that there are other ways you can get a lady's attention without even spending a dime? You can get... Have you... Yes, we have men who spend... These guys are waiting for examples. Mazze! We have... Mazze! I'm about to give him a paper, guys. I'm about to give him a paper. Men out there who spend so much money and they interest you. They'll take you to, I don't know, somewhere by your Gucci Louis Vuitton. Oh, that is beautiful. They'll buy you the most expensive perfumes. That is nice. But trust me, have you ever met an intelligent man? A man of honour. It is more captivating than it doesn't matter how much a man can spend. A man can take you out there and spend so much money on you and at the end of the day, there is no connection. And she's saying they spend so much on these things, they don't spend anything on books, anything on learning, anything on improving themselves. Sometimes a lady wants to give an insight on a problem she's facing. I've met many ladies who tell me, it's so refreshing to talk to you. You have a depth of understanding. And I tell men, don't you know that the first, you remember what he said? If you want to make a lady fall in love, make her laugh. I'm not happy. Where are my men people? Where are my men people? Laughing and giving her so many points that she will tweet you. She will fall in love along the way. I recently started posting memes on my WhatsApp status. So I'm getting so many DMs. You're on the red track. You're so funny. Now you've got your trust, you're saying. When the trust comes, I'll give you a semi-finals. Congratulations. You're happy for this. The first pressure is when a woman has a wrong notion of being strong and she's fake. So the first thing, women will tell you they want a real man. They don't want weaklings or fake people, but they want a man who's trying his best and he's real. He tells you the truth. When he's in a situation, he will talk. Because ladies don't want to become psychic, to guess what you're thinking. One lady texted me, I think he's going through something and he's not talking to me. What can I do? I told her you have two options. One, go to a psychic to read his head for you or just ask him. So I think the one thing we need to do is to release men from the pressure of being fake and tell them women are okay when you're real. And what she has said, what she's calling stupid, they're like that. Stupid, generous, irresponsible, careless, not planning. Because the sources are limited. Maybe you have how much money, if you spend it carelessly, soon you'll be able of it. I have met a gentleman who claims accountability or rather, I have read accountability can sound like an attack if you're not ready to, you know. So if you go around hurting people's feelings, you hurt my feelings. The immediate response would be, I, everyone has their own happiness. It doesn't matter what they did or what they said to hurt you. It will just never be their fault. Yes, and that is actually very true. I have seen men who are unable to stand up on their own mistakes. They consider it as being weak. And you'd find someone like that is always depressed. Always depressed. And openly admittedly. Yes, we have things that eat someone up but guilt can eat a whole man up in ways that you cannot even imagine. That is self-inflicted. He can't live with himself. I would like to... I would like to... Ask men, we're very different from ladies. Okay, ladies, you see, I always observe around. The ladies will come, they'll hug each other. Oh, machine, how's the day been? It's been a long time. They call each other sweetie. Sweetie babes. Yeah, they call themselves babes. Okay, we are two different men. We are two different men. Us men? Okay, it's in the morning. I met with Dr. Zulu. He started hugging him. He said, hey Joe, you see it. Oh, we are there. So, do you guys know each other? Yes, yes, yes. He doesn't know each other. Bro, he doesn't know each other. Bro, he doesn't know each other. Then let me ask you why. Why? Okay, because... It's not that we are not emotional. It's that we are he-emotional. It's not that we don't feel each other. We don't like each other or anything. We have our own way of expressing it. And it's not that... What? It's not that so much emotional, so to speak. Sometimes, if a guy texts me hi in Acheapo, I'm most not going to respond. Yes, you ask yourself many questions. Hi, Konini. Hi, Konini. So, you'll find a... Let me say... Issues, oh my God. He hasn't texted me. He hasn't texted me. He hasn't texted me. He hasn't texted me. I don't know much about my issues. I'll find out more about it later. But if he could have come, he could have been there for me. Then I don't know... He helped me sort out the issue, you see. And like, okay, you ladies, you know your thing. Quite is our thing. And Vang, we need to give a shout out to all boys who don't abandon their bodies just because they get girlfriends. I advise for us, huh? Okay. I have a little bit of problem with that. Do you know sometimes a man is as a result of the woman they have? If you find a man who has... Before you came, who was that? Who was? I'm not your woman, you see. That's different. Assume you are. But you said you made me. Wait, wait, wait. Before you came, what was I? No, no, do not attack my queen. Excuse me. Hi. Do not attack my queen. I think all she's saying is that there is a saying, behind every strong man is a strong woman. Yes. Okay, you see. Different men are different differently when they are with different women. Women, sorry. For example, you can have a man whom, as you have said, will abandon his friends because of the woman he has. That is that woman. A woman, you know, we have things that are addictive like sugar, cocaine, but you know a woman can be more addictive than all of these things. And this woman will have ways to persuade this man and tell him all the most beautiful things. And this man will never leave that house. You know, sometimes it's just the man. It's not, yeah, it's just the woman. And we have women whom when they are with a man, they will encourage this man to be a better man. They understand this man just besides being with me, he has life outside. He had a life before I was with him. He has a life outside just being with me. So sometimes it's just the kind of woman that you have. I get what you're saying. I was just going that direction for the sake of debate. I love debating. This is what you're saying, bro. We are saying, let's not abandon, because I'm saying that we are not always comfortable telling ladies where we are struggling. You need to have a buddy. You as a guy. You need to have a man with whom you're free. And he can tell you're not okay when you're not telling him. There are people who know you so much. They can hear your silence. They can hear when you say I'm fine. They know that fine means I'm not. And sometimes, because the way we are grown, another problem we have is we don't have modeling. But the way we are raised is that we don't have any struggles. We have to keep going. And we have no clue what we are supposed to do. The only emotions we have from our fathers was drunkenness and anger. You know. You want to talk? Yes. Yes, I think that's actually true. Okay, this society is easy. You need to bring up like... Okay, things are changing. There is no relation. Those days back then. So... He's not wrong. Okay, I was also saying... Like, you're not that born nowadays. So, that is equal. Even when you're fighting. If you have a problem, you should stop blaming boy child. And take the blame to boy father. Actually, let us see. There was a point where there was a lot of outcry because the girl child has been empowered. And now we're looking back to think, hey, but boy child, we empowered this one. We empowered, we empowered, we empowered. She's over here. Boy child is still somewhere over here. And at first, I was very... I was very skeptical. I was like, okay, fine. Yes, you're making a point. It's our turn to make boy child. But I... Girl child has been having so many problems. Because of this African continent. Going to school has been a problem for decades. And... So, we're not too kitchen, we're not too damn. As if a man will melt if he starts cooking. But I honestly feel like, sincerely, we need to raise the boy child now. It's time. Because we've gone, we've empowered, but we're not telling boy child, okay. I think there should be some... A good woman is one who will be subdued and quiet and staying at home. Because maybe that's how their mother was. So, what you've said, we have a generational change, and men are not equipped to handle this in Pao Duma. What I tell them is, I was looking for a girl who can study and climb back with me. Because when she's a help and she has money, she will also help me with money. It's a direct common sense. If she's a help and she's learned, she'll help me with ideas. If she's a help and she's globalized, she'll help me with ideas from outside. If I keep her down here, I will have a help. I was weak, trying to help you, help me carry this table. But only one of your finger is working. Because if you sit and ask you, please just move it on this side. No, you missed a spot this side closer.