 All right, we are live with Eren and Nanduality. Yeah. Ciao. Ciao. Eren, the sun is bright. Yeah, it is. Yeah. That's so cool that your name also means that. Yeah. Yeah, somehow. In the story, when Eren was born, mom didn't know what name to put. And a neighbor who was also children's doctors came and watched the baby, this one, and said, oh, she looks so energetic and blah, blah, blah, put Eren. And then it means bright. Yeah, it's not very popular name in Estonia. Right. Yeah, the less popular the cooler in ways, yeah. And I love the single name. I don't remember if it's called like a mononym or something. It's like when someone goes by one name, it's fun. And it's a powerful name like Eren, you know? That's cool. Yeah, in the story, it meant something, you know? Right. Yes, super meaningful. Yeah, yeah, to be that, to wear that name. Yeah. It was a little bit like special and special for me also. Right, right. That was a special name, yeah. And somehow in the story, a couple of years here, it had been problems to pronounce or to say the name when somebody is asking what is your name. Then it's like, who? Yes, yes, yes. And it doesn't have like any meaning or something like that. This label didn't fit here. And I didn't understand what's going on. And of course now it doesn't matter at all. Call me as you like. That's the weird thing. That's why we are so programmed and obsessed with names because we just, how would we refer to the bodies if there weren't, because there's obviously namelessness and unity. But how would you, how would you refer to apparent bodies if without the name? So that's why we're so conditioned to ask, you know, the name so I know how to refer to that specific body when I want it to, can you grab me a cup of tea or whatever? Yeah, it's very practical. Yeah, exactly. It's just simple, practical. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just make a sound, a random sound, which is a name. And then that refers to that body, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And it's difficult here because the name sounds like hello So whenever I'm in a street or shop or people are saying to others and I'm like, oh, what? They're saying hello to each other. But I hear that they say my name. This body reacts to that name. Yeah, yeah. And by the way, your background is not a wallpaper because I'm sure that some people might think, wow, it's such a beautiful background. Yeah, it's not a wallpaper. It's literally the Spanish coast, the gorgeous Spanish coast. Yeah, it's so cool. Yeah, so blessed. Yeah, I'm so in love in Spain. And somehow first time when came here, I don't know when it was long time ago, it felt like a home. And in the story here was the story that in prior life for previous life that I was Spanish. Right. Now these stories are no more, but yeah. Right, right. Because it felt so, so good here in Spain. Cool. Wow. Yeah, it's a fascinating thing about the subject. And I have your website up right now. And I'm a big fan of what you wrote on your website just in the sense of how short it is because there's really so nothing to say about it. And I think there's just a really concise way that you said things on your site. And I think your blogs are also really on point like that specific area where you write about it is. It's really beautiful. And you will also do a really fun job on YouTube also. So I got that up. Fun content up there. Go and check the channel out. Subscribe to whatever blah, blah is coming out of these mouths. Yeah, so I love the simplicity. I love the simplicity because you can't say anything about it. You can't get every word of it. So how do you, what are you doing? You got people that come and they're like, oh my god, I don't get it. And you're like, there's nothing to get. You're already it. There's no use. Exactly. Yeah, game over. Game over. Yeah, but apparently in the conversation different questions can arise. And yeah, and you can't do nothing. Even when it's heard that you can't understand this, but still it functions this way that it tries to understand or to ask the questions to exhaust the seeker or this energy because there are no answers. It's like running with your head to the wall continuously, continuously. Until it's, yeah, nothing to get. The one who wants to get something or tries to understand it somehow evaporates or yeah. Right. Yeah, yeah. But you will never get this. No one will get this. At least I didn't get anything. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes, exactly. I love, I love that the head, the head against the wall. And that's kind of what it was like, like going under, flipping over every single rock, opening up every single book, traveling to every single country, sitting with every single guru, taking psychedelics, sitting, meditate, whatever. It's all just like hit head against wall repeatedly until apparently some sort of contracted energy just stops. Yeah. Explose to the boundlessness. This is another story. Of course, nothing doesn't explode because there isn't anything to explode. Explosion is the only thing that is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Instant, constant explosion. Yes, yes. Ping bang, ping bang, ping bang. Ping bang, ping bang, ping bang. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. And that's, it's fascinating because isn't, it's almost like the explosion itself is enough. It's already fulfilled. It's already miraculous and ordinary and magical. And then, and then there's something that overlooks that and then says that no, that's not it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's more that I can get somehow. Yeah. Yeah. And that's funny because no one's doing it even. You know, no one's seeking. No one's turning the rocks or taking the psychedelics or meditating or this and that. And then there is a story that I did like 50 years of seeking. Yeah. There is no 50 years. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And there is no one doing the seeking or starting the seeking or ending the seeking also. Yes. Alpha and Omega. Yeah. You end where you started and nothing happened. Yeah. Somehow you have to do in the story the road trip. I ride back there and yeah. Yeah. It's, it's kind of like, it's almost like a, when you get a, when you get something, like whether it's like a, like a romantic relationship or a like a home or a car or whatever you get, you get something. And then the first thing that comes up is no, no, no, that's not enough. I need more than that. And yeah. And like that's. Endlessly. Yeah. Yeah. It's enough for three minutes or so. Yeah. Yeah. What's next? Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Never enough. Yeah. Gosh. Crazy how this plays out that this apparent separation or way fails this to see this, that there is nothing else. And this, but this apparent separation can feel so lonely or, or something is constantly missing because I'm not enough. I'm not full. I need to do something or arrive somewhere or no more or get more. Yes. Nice. Right. This endless hole. Yeah. And then at the end you're in a desperate two seconds before smiling. It's enough. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah. The release always happens when the body passes. And it seems to. And then the, this, I like how you describe it because I describe it so similarly that it's like that un, that unfulfilledness, that lack. And then it's always instead of being the open spaciousness that it is. It's like trying to fill the void, trying to fill it with endless X object, Y object, Z object. That will do it. That will do it. That will do it. Nope. Nothing ever does it. Yeah. It's just being that the beauty of just the simple, ordinary, non-separate is just, it's just, it's so easily overlooked. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By nothing. Yeah. Yeah. But this is enough. This is more than enough. And isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't, do you, do you, I mean, it's just a story, do you, do you attribute at least a little bit when you talk about this, do you attribute it at least a little bit to the conditioning of like parents, society, culture that you're not enough until you achieve this thing or you get this thing, then you'll be worthy. Do you, do you say that sometimes? That that's what? Yeah. I say that this is just a conditioned body. And sometimes when the, this illusion gets thinner, so to speak, although there is no process, but in, in that process it feels like it's processed and I am dying and though I'm losing all the meaning and falling apart or however it appears to different bodies, but still the conditionings running like the car run out of the fuel, but car is still moving or wheels are still spinning. These are the conditionings, but then the story came that, oh, I still get agitated or I still get frustrated. It means like my me is still back or still here or something. All these nonsense stories. And, and yeah, I'm just expressing that these are just conditionings, programming. This is like the computer. Self, I, IE, AI. Right. Something like that. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't do anything. I love that. You don't learn. Yeah, you can do nothing. Yeah. And your parents didn't do nothing also. I love that. Yeah. It's just what's happening apparently. Right, right, right. There is no one's fault. Yes. No one to blame. Yes, yes. Oh, that's so great. And no credits. Right, right, right. No credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No blame, no credits. Yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah, that's great. Right. Yeah, it is like the AI program running of selfing or lacking and needing and more and more and more ing. And there's no one to blame for it. It's all that autonomous flow of light. And, and there's, and there's that freedom in a way of not victimizing by blaming parents or society or culture. And then there's not crediting too. It's not crediting any sort of X object that caused the dissolution of the cell thing. Yeah. Yeah. Because then everyone in New Age culture goes to that object if that said as soon as you say it was X object that caused the dissolution, New Age culture makes it a new course or a new program or whatever. Yeah, probably. Yeah. This is also innocent. Also innocent. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Like everything is perfect. And the person, this individual doesn't understand this because there is always something wrong. There is war. There is death. There is raping, whatever. How you say that this is perfect, but some freaky way, even when here is lots of pain or problems with the, I don't know, money or health, whatever. It's also perfect. It's also perfect. Everything is perfect. Everything is innocently perfect. Nothing wrong with anything. This is full. Yes. There is nothing else. Nice. To make this more full. Yes, yes. Nice. Nice. It is full. The natural harmony or frequency of the light is fullness. Yeah. Yeah. And I like what you were just saying there. It's, um, there was like, like three, three or so years ago, I was playing football with friends and I slid in the rain while catching a ball and hit the side of my body against the metal stake that was kind of hidden buried in the ground. And it snapped a bunch of my ribs and penetrated my lungs and deflated the lung. And it was fascinating because there was that like immediately there was like kind of like in a way it felt like dying. And then it also felt like right away. There was no one to blame. There was only the wisdom of the, of, of what was, of what was happening. And like seeing that as right away, there was no, there was no, um, like victimization. There was only right away. Like, like the beauty even of such pain is, is some is just, it's just what is, and what is happening. And it's the perfection of your lung being deflated and your ribs being broken, the perfection of that. And it's like, how do you say that that's, and there was in the car ride to the hospital where it was just so much of that pain. And there was like, you know, people looking and like being like, why is that body not freaking out? Why is it saying that this is perfect? That doesn't make any sense. Yeah. Yeah. And that's what you would say. Like how could war be perfect? Like you were saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Some freaky way. It is only perfection. And here also when I was in, I think, Thailand, I was falling and had injury. And while I was falling, the body had still memory because it fell on the snow a couple of times before. Like it was slippery. And the head went back and there was like concussion happening and wanting to sleep after that. And the foggy seeing. And so when was the second time it was like in the millisecond or how fast it is, I don't know the whole life and not again. Yeah. And I don't know how it ends. It was like, but yeah, then I was coming back to my husband. And that was like bleeding. Everything was okay. I don't know. Also going to the ambulance then sitting like one week in the room couldn't go outside to to hot because open wounds that I had to to every day to change that. The bandageings. Yeah. Yeah. In back and hand and blade. Geez. Yeah. And you felt the perfection even of that. Yeah. And no story that oh fuck the vacation is ruined. Right. Because in that same vacation, we went to the spontaneously to the Vietnam. Because somebody was inviting us. And now we're a good friend and also from So we have lots to talk about. Yeah. About this nothing. And there was diarrhea or stomach bug happening. And again, one week in the room. But yeah, the easy part is that there is no blaming or guilt though. Why I ate that or I should be more careful when going down the stairs to the to the sea and more or or when this body is eating something really I don't know crap like real crap and feeling bad after the stomach feeling bad body feels not good. But no stories. Exactly. In a story years ago when when here was this fitness lifestyle happening all the blaming all the guilt. Okay. Tomorrow I go for running or I eat only. I don't know. And punishing why I did this, why I did that. It's just what's happening apparently. No one's doing it. And this body wants to feel good. So it doesn't maybe sometimes there is idea to eat some cake or or chips or something. And then thinking and already my stomach starts to hurt because this is what may happen. And then it's okay. I don't want. Right. But but if eating happens and getting pain softer, it's perfection. Yeah. Damn. That kind of the looping of the of the of the arguing basically with what is it's like looping in argument with what is because as and then that's the thing that can like quote ruin a vacation or whatever apparently is that that thing like the whole thing becomes like a victim story or like arguing with what what is and yeah. Yeah. Even the story when when when I had this stomach bug in Vietnam and the doctor gave me antibiotics that I didn't take because this body doesn't seem to like medicine this this kind of medicine. And on the fifth day when I haven't eaten five days slept normally couldn't go out because I had to stay close to the toilet and I also was doing meetings and under the meetings there without any sleep and then finally something take the bill and then it took couple of hours maybe and it was gone but it felt normal and then the thought came that why I didn't listen and why I didn't take the first day and then it was like laughing because there is no choice. This is perfection to suffer five days in the bay. Yes. Yes. No choice and then it's gone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Almost one of the ways that it could be described with the story is to say that like it's catalyst in a way like like catalyst for what is to sort of is itself. I don't know how to say it's like just the the isness uses catalysts in a way to to make a parent change happen and it's because then then you we share a story which is where when when these injuries happened there wasn't a of a addiction to a victim's story and then we share that on this conversation and then apparently that is heard by nothing and it's like okay perhaps that victim's story won't loop next time and so yeah it's so so so so interesting. Yeah. But you never know this is unconditional freedom and every story is free to loop also. Yeah. But it doesn't seem to happen here at least anymore and but it's it's total freedom so everything can happen and no one knows what's going to happen. You may plan your whole vacation or whole year but actually you don't have fucking clue what's going to happen next second that may change all your plans so to speak. Yes. Yes. How to how to make God laugh on your plans to your cat. Yes. There is no separate cat disclaimer there is no separate cat. Yes. Yes. Yeah. The the indescribable love and freedom and perfection of this just without any controller manipulation or or lack of to change it and yet also the body continues functioning it continues you know building whatever building this body's building whatever this to show the basic needs infrastructures that is working on and it's it's excited about that it's excited about like children being born without the need to go and sell their time for money to pay for basic needs and that's what happens then you wake up and you play you know wake up and play. Yeah. So the body functionality goes on. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing changes when when the me apparently collapses because that never was me. So what changed nothing but yeah at the same time everything is different somehow when these glasses are off. Yeah. Yeah there's a there's some there's comment in how it's like in in the chat about how even non duality is not a ground which is yes of course so you know there is there is no landing there is no truth there is no you know final realization if there is the only realization is that the one who could realize is no more and haven't never been so the enlightenment isn't personal. No one's get enlightened and I don't know that of course I don't know that these are just empty words coming from nothing no one knows what's speaking so to speak. This is unknowable. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But but in a story it feels like closest to the truth this so-called radical non duality but of course there is no truth. Yeah. Right. Right. And it's it's fascinating because even when one quote pop pops out or whatnot that even then it's still seen in a way by nothing that the the point in a way is to still be in the character in the on the stage of what's appearing and so there's nowhere to go. There's only that there's only the character show goes on show must go on. There's no there's there's no there's no difference between there being no me and being me or there's and then there can be apparent difference and it just doesn't matter which which one and but it can really matter if it's really contracted it can really matter it can appear to really be important. Yeah. Yeah. Which is what a separate one. Yeah. That's two is perfect. Yeah. Because then if that and when that because it it apparently happened where there was that and then that release and that release is like you know it's beautiful but it's also ordinary and it's also like nothing changes at the same time and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then you can sort of feel in a way more of the unconditional love and perfection that was that was that was said earlier and yet at the same time that's also not an excuse for repressing anger or like raw like that's also like allowed that's everything's allowed. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it seems like these kind of emotions even can be even more intense when there is no controller chooser who is who is suppressing who have this story so that I should be this way or that way or maintain this story of there. Yeah. As as our friends or family members see us so to speak this falls apart and this can be very wild. This is unpredictable like everything it's just illusion that the control that I have a control and I know where this is going if I do that this happens. It's bullshit. It's just a dream story and of course nothing wrong with this dream this apparent dream because yeah this is all apparent anyway. I love I love how you said that like it can get amplified because in a way it the non repression amplification of whatever the character is is actually in a way more authentic. It's more authentic. Yeah. Yeah. And then you can sort of see it kind of it repels certain like you're weirdly dancing like as whatever your non repressed character is and then you can see certain people are just like oh my God. No thank you and it like repels and then others are like dude that's what's up let's dance together and so that's like how you can begin telling that like authenticity is kind of like because spirituality can be its own kind of straight jacket like another straight jacket and so when there's like a seeing through of also like the paradigm of spirituality by no one then there's another repression which was spirituality to be unstraightjacketed. Yeah. Yeah. It's like dream inside the dream all these borders and rules extra what's coming with that spirituality it's exhausting yeah yeah you have to be that way eat that and yeah I wanted to say something else but I forgot. Go ahead if you ever take a moment see if you can recall. What we were talking about spirituality which is said here is no memory. Yeah. That doesn't matter. Probably the I mean the boxes and the bounds all of those boxes and bounds I mean like we you know we still you know the water bottle you know it's still like useful boxes and bounds and whatnot but the whole paradigm of attachment to boxes and bounds and then conceptualizing about those endlessly all of that is seem to be just an ocean and then just trying to like put borders around water in the ocean. Yeah yeah yeah somehow this me is like the prison man also it feels like prison man and then then it's freedom and free to express yes at least this body can't not afford but force force force to do something what this body doesn't like and actually this have been always the case in Ere story as Ere was grown up with freestyle parenting so didn't have much rules and no really religion also so it felt like free like the bird I could I could say for the childhood yeah but yeah me guys so to speak it seems like you are even more you but there is no you authenticity there is no playing any games or for fun why not but just to maintain the story of someone doesn't seem to happen too exhausting yeah oh man what a weird in this open space like some sort of like like fabricated prison and then like some sort of release of something that's not even there and like what a fucking weird thing yeah yeah yeah you can talk about this you can't escape it's a dream such a weird weird thing it's a play without the players and no one did the play there is no director or programmer yeah although I don't know that yeah what a what a miracle even the simple and ordinary is so wow and perfect it's just there's nothing that's missing it's just already what is long for it's just yeah it's it's just and it's so weird because one of the one of the things that that was apparent in the releasing was like in a way learning how to just sit in a way with what is without trying to move and get something else and then now there's just way more with just sitting and just in perfect love with what is and like then from that more fulfilled empty space it's way more obvious that the functionality of the body can just be what it authentically is or basic needs freedom or whatever it's not about me trying to get something to fulfill this sense of lack because I can't sit and be nothing and just appreciate the appearance for what it is it's amazing it's a wow yeah and so ordinary extraordinary ordinary and ordinary at the same time yes nice right right because this light it's just infant the light itself is infinite the energy itself is infinite and so there's the ordinary and extraordinary at once yeah all at once no time no linear time yeah it's happening here in this nowhere else the thoughts about tomorrow also here stories about yesterday or the past also here we don't have there is no escape from from this so to speak yeah and this can be freeing it sounds maybe awful for the apparent need but yeah this is I love it yeah yeah I mean I love like you know Eire is so interesting the name itself and the like part of what apparently feels like with the release is that the no one is like the sunlight that shines forever for no reason in its beauty and magnificence and that's why there's also such a lovely you know with Eire the name and also just there's been so much worship of the sun itself and the the obvious unification of life itself is just these all of this is just too obvious and then overlooked by you know all these all this kind of bodily contraction and and then all this industrial complex kind of also comes up and then there's all kinds of perversities in the industrial complex like yeah you yeah it's like confirming your unwhole confirming the unwholeness and then being like take my course or my offering or kiss my feet or whatever bullshit and then you'll be whole if you're lucky but you need to upgrade you need to upgrade in my premium package first yeah yeah so there's all those perverse incentives that are in that industrial spiritual industrial complex and but it's also fascinating because a dog doesn't know maybe doesn't know any of that even people that are just kind of normally in like sports news weather conversations sometimes there's in a way there's already kind of love and no separation in a way and there's not there's not even any thought about spirituality or needing to do something yeah mm-hmm yeah in a story here when when yeah we were also in a spiritual path like like I was shorter time my husband was longer time longer time seeker in the story but when this illusion of two collapsed apparently we didn't have nothing to talk with our spiritual friends anymore because there was so much stories about manifestation years and years they manifested lots of money or or relationships and still doesn't seem to be happening and yeah and these old friends before that spiritual period so to speak school friends and that time it's more easy to talk to hang around yes yes it's fascinating that like apparently post release it's actually more repelling to be around the spiritual industrial complex and it's more freeing to be around nobody normies mm-hmm that are quote called you know matrix slaves or whatever it's in a way it's more freeing and more fun to go to a sports event and tailgate and play games and be loud and rowdy and free then it is to sit on a meditation cushion or sit in a round circle and talk about our psychedelic experiences or our awakenings or whatever isn't that so like how the whole thing flips it's like what the fuck that's why you can't talk about it because you can't orient there's no position to take like that wow yeah fun times and the whole time those friends of like more normies that were calling out like era atlas etc they were calling it out because they were like that's not real that's not authentic that's not really you the whole fucking holy spiritual character that's been constructed that's not real and boom it obviously wasn't real yeah that's why it seems to be like dream inside the dream and maybe even inside the dream then there is layers of awakening and seeing something through but still there is someone someone who sees this someone who got something who got special it's still a dream yeah someone who got it and is special and with a big gold star and lots of attainments on the uniform and then with a little flower sitting on a chair with a little flower in the background and with a big big audience of lots of serious seekers with important questions imparting knowledge yeah yeah when i was doing first time hedelix i was like i don't know why i'm here because everyone came to heal something and i was like what? it was just like experimenting or wanting to try to do new things when it happened here but i think it was like third round or something like that when here started to come also stories are coming listening to other stories what others are doing and it's somehow you are finally like inside some rabbit hole right isn't that interesting that actually hearing the stories of the spiritual industrial complex sort of reels us into conditioning in that rabbit hole that never ends of bouncing between those experiences it's almost like if you never hear about that spiritual industrial complex and you kind of just coast in a normal just life itself as a nice just niceness like just being nice because you feel like everything is is just life like that is is its own version of wholeness without a spiritual industrial complex and without release and all kinds of awakening narratives and all kinds of stuff yeah i think of my friends that are like that are like mailmen or they just like work at a like an engineering shop or whatever they just kind of build stuff or whatever just normal friends like little small business owners or small business employees or whatever it's just kind of like normal like no jargon about spirituality yeah yeah yeah in a story here was this anger or frustration after or when the process of falling away was happening this all this spirituality and this business how they basically say in every video that you are not enough one way or another so come here and i teach you this or that or doing some practice or fuck i forgot what i was saying again yeah that you are not enough and that come here and i can teach you how to be enough yeah by the way there is a whole self go ahead there is a whole self help industry that was built around that too and if it helps in a dream what's wrong with that have fun but trying to lose your ego or yourself whatever yeah then run away when there is some method or practice because who is doing this it's still the me doing this trying to dissolve or something it's still the me and then the me is going to the background or how to say it in English and yeah but it's also what's happening but what i was saying was that here was anger towards the teachers the spiritual teachers because i was following them a little bit and thought that they are enlightened because they have been in India and done this meditation 20 years do nothing and then hearing that they are selling that but of course although here the me started to see dissolve or the sense of me it felt like yeah this is dissolving or here is no one but it still felt like there is someone there are teachers who are doing this intentionally just for money and maybe not all of them but yeah Estonia is quite small so yeah and but of course that's also innocent i don't see the seeker i don't see the teacher it's the play of of this reality or this dream this illusion what's happening and that's too is innocent and perfect there is no guru there is no i don't know holy or prophets or gods i mean separate yeah oh my gosh this whole this whole self-help industry has become just unbelievably like bloated like that yeah you're not enough and become enough become enough yeah become enough basically that's the it's like a kind of like a drum of become enough become enough become enough become enough become enough become enough be come enough you're not enough be come enough you're not enough you're on the whole you're on worthy you're on whole you're on worthy come get it you're on worthy come get what you see come get what you seek you can find it you can find it through me through my course through my course through my book through my whatever It's like this big Yeah, the freedom of not having anything yeah, and the fullness of of that the fullness of yeah Yeah Yeah, somehow so empty and so full the fullness of this universal magic of The simple leaves in the wind and the bird chirps and the sunset over the ocean and all kinds of fucking magic these Microphones and computers doing this fucking magic. What like yeah So yeah Yeah, unbelievable unbelievable, I just remembered how I first time saw the trees and the birds and it seems like first time But I was then I don't know 38 years old maybe like oh How I didn't see like and I'm in my backyard Where I have been like eight or nine years and I'm seeing like first time my backyard Wow Like the trees so beautiful Seem to birds jumping and I'm laughing I remember that I was sitting in the hammock and and yeah watching like that and then singing and and then watching to my Window and seeing that husband is like What she's doing there She have lost the mind maybe exactly thought he thought that Because I was shock like really so like like the veil Like something was lifted and everything was bright and so alive. Yeah, and absolutely the unknowingness It's not look like oh, that's a tree. I know. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Right, right, right Yeah Like like fresh and new all the time like ice blinks and wow Wow And here it was like couple of months to that kind of Hi, hi of a life Yeah Yeah, that's so ordinary and so beautiful. Yeah simple and so good this the state the statement that When a when a child is taught that a bird is like a certain name Like it's a name of a bird or whatever it no longer actually sees the rawness of the bird It only sees like the name and that name label label the association and Yes, the raw the rawness kind of yeah It can there's like a contraction in the body of the raw magic into like this is not it and That it can be found and I will find it And I will look under every rock and including all kinds of apparently unethical things Massive military industrial complexes are all kinds of perverse things Just to just to get what's not missing and Another thing that I was coming up to say was that with the whole The magic of the apparent veil because it's not even there and yet it also Apparently can release and then also apparently the veil or the mask or the character is actually what is apparently happening and there's like a releasing of or an Unrepressing of whatever that character is supposed to be how it's supposed to Function here in this in the stage this this display so just What a bunch of weird shit that doesn't make any sense and doesn't have no ground Yeah Total free fall Nothing to hold them Yeah, there is no landing no end As this doesn't have a start or beginning Yeah, it's like The seeker wants to know What where it started or where it came or this have to have a source It's like where the beginning got beginning. There is no beginning This is timeless. Yes Yeah, time is illusion and Disapparent me is time traveler moving seeming through time. Nice. I came from past now my here There are my goals my future. Oh, there's this. I don't like this Yes, yes It's so real that I that I was born. I am living. This is real. I am real my life and And this has a meaning or it's have to have a meaning and Then somewhere there is a death But there is somewhere there There is no nowhere else. There is only this so this is death. This is life. This is a liveness Nice Love that. Yes. Yes Exactly. Yeah, I Completely completely timeless. I love how I love how you called the me a time traveler. The parent me is a time traveler Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious No, and there is no me and there is no time and there is no moment It's ironic again Fine trailer. What a big ass up such a big assumption of yet of Of of being of being real of being solid and therefore the birth being real and the death being real And that there's something other than just this Such a big assumption and then that assumption. There's all this hedging. I wanted to say that to hedging against death so Do you know what that means? hedging it's like you you set up all kinds of things to try to like preventatively avoid and like death and then set yourself up for you know, like, oh my gosh, I gotta Through my actions, I can try to like I can try to hedge against it I can I can be good I'll be fulfilled as long as I get these things before all apparently die, you know and so then that script is like Running so strongly and it's perfect, but yeah Yeah, yeah Oh boy Wow there's I mean like I mean there's nothing more really to say I mean wait what you what you shared there a bit ago was so good It's really yeah, the alpha and omega no beginning no end Just this I mean there's nowhere else to go. There's nothing else to get like Yeah Yeah Yeah, that's the parent liberation for no one Yeah Although in the story, I just had one email also somebody who I have done one on one once and after that we have email and He was explaining quite well how the mist is holding there apparently like really The anxious feelings are rising it literally feeds he wrote That I may die physically It's it's it's intense and it's like losing my life. I feel like It's falling apart or I'm falling off or and he said that I don't know how to explain it But he tried a little bit. Yeah, and it felt here also at the same that Similar like somehow everything starts to fall off. Yeah And then you see that I'm just painting the picture right now with the words that Yeah, like everything falling off and then it's like There is no ground and Understanding that it's just a free fall. You may try to hold on but it's just Attachments that makes you more suffer because there's nothing to hold on. Yes Yeah, and of course you can't let go when letting go doesn't happen because there is no one holding on So it's innocently already full and complete Yeah, yeah, of course not for the seeker for the parent seeker who is feeling like oh, I want also what you got I'm saying I didn't put anything. That's the problem You want as long as there is this who wants something it doesn't happen or if there is imagination How this should be how good it should be how Leashfully it should be it is never what you are imagining. It's not it is already this Imagination happening in this is already fullness appearing as that Yeah Gosh, it's so I love like the the free fallingness and then the like the trying like the Impeccableness like I'm trying to use an easier word because of the English like the flawlessness Like without flaw perfection of that free fallingness of infinity and then this sort of like You know like kind of like but I can Yeah Yeah, the power of a fuck it is so So yeah Yeah Yeah It happened here apparently like I tried to understand what these guys are talking about Tim and Antony and the Nemersson and and this was like Fuck it. I don't understand the English so well Every sentence is some word that I don't understand it was like trying a little bit, but then it was fuck it Yeah, I can't get this. So I stopped I stopped trying to get this apparently, but I didn't do it It was surrendering by no one and it's just a story because I'm telling it now At that time it didn't help like surrendering or it was still frustrating Still like contract it when it hears this message it went the very contract it actually and it hated this message It hated the Jim and Tony and even Emerson now here's lots of love all these guys They are so compassionate and and still I don't need to understand Everything said because yeah, it doesn't matter Haven't never mattered but but in a story when there is seeking this there is this sense that Maybe that's why I don't get it because I don't understand or pick English or some Yeah, but then it was fuck it. Yeah. Yeah, when and then it was done what when the body acts on the The like that that frustration it can also Fascinatingly enough create more division and separation and anxiety and spinning for itself And then they're sort of the like releasing of that like In in a way it is some sort of like a I don't know if it really it kind of is like a hatred in a way. It is kind of like a hatred. It's like a hatred for for like for others that appear to know more or whatever it is and then that It with that like Acting on that can be like whoa, like there can be a lot of like quote karmic consequences that but also like the release of that of that a Of of anything that's being in that free fall flawless free fall the releasing and Then the full fullness of releasing That was always there like the baby always had it like era as a baby always was Defection and then there was that apparent this all this all this weird apparent story and if contraction and release and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah fucking Yeah, yeah, yeah, and of course you can stay looping in this frustration that I never get it I never get this I can never get this. I'm gonna die like this And and it's just a story teller telling the story over and over again and even that you are not doing Yeah, if there is a choice or free will Stop it. Stop the seeking Don't you hear what they are saying that you can't get this Yeah, yeah, but you don't have any any power any any any really That did you anything that for that frustration? autonomously happening apparently and then the the joy also autonomously of no longer that frustration of trying to get something when it already is Yeah, mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh My goodness Yeah And all emotions feelings are ownerless Although and there is the sense of I am it owns everything this this meet That yeah, this is my feeling. This is my emotion He said something to me and blah blah blah blah blah, but these are all Just was naturally is occurring or happening There is no one doing anything or owning any feelings or yeah They they are all empty and there are no bad and good feelings. These are all labels in in this dream Yeah, but yeah, but he but he may enjoy more warm weather cold weather also natural there is no me who Prefers the weather. It's just a body. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, a parent buddy Let's be correct Gosh, oh my gosh, no no ownership What what a what blessing to? Have Apparently contracted into a my thought or my Feeling or ownership of my my my and then see that it was always just a feeling it was always just a thought it was always just whatever the body's apparent preferences and What a blessing to then kind of be Be obviously one with all body with all Yeah, and just to see how obvious it is that it's time timeless Non-entity just whatever is apparently body ink and however it's body ink and like the freedom of it as It is like the perfection of it as it is Even though it appears in all these insane apparently insane ways. Yeah Yeah, what the fuck Yeah, and that's not what the me wants because it doesn't deny anything any feelings Is this there can be sadness even the feeling guilty is free to arise Yeah, in a story here was lots of guiltiness in every situations I don't have a story where it came probably somewhere from the conditioning and then the right young age Yeah Guilt and then you can't say you can be wrong. You can be wrong. It's possible to be wrong. Yeah Some somehow no idea or even it wasn't related with the error. There was some situation In family it I still felt guilty because they felt sad or bad and then it was like also guilty but Like last year or something like that my mom almost died and and there I died apparently and We had argument my mom was still ill, but wasn't in our place anymore I was like the caretaker for a while after the accident and and yeah, we had the argument and It was the same like we are talking right now just a topic wasn't no I wasn't interested anymore in this these stories She's a bit in spirituality still right and So I was telling that mom stop it. I'm not interested Let's change the topic but for her it was very painful because He she literally felt like she's losing the torture Because in the story we had very co-dependent Relationship, but something here died. So it was felt from mother's side that Somehow she's losing the torture and I was I was seeing myself my mom first time in my life Crying She was so out of what what she used to be And then I started to scan the body I was like waiting when the guilty feeling is arising because it was normal Yes, yes, and I'm like scanning all my body My mom is crying and running away from our place and I can't find the guilty feeling anymore. Boom. I love that Yeah, yes. Yeah, and of course there wasn't anything wrong in this situation No one I didn't say anything bad also But somehow she's mental body was also very very weak at that time still And and yeah But I can say that guilty the feeling is also free to arise. It has arrived here And and for some characters that may come the story, but okay now now this feeling shouldn't be here Maybe that means that means back. I don't know here. It's like when see that Santa isn't real you don't I don't know. It doesn't seem to change really back to really and Wow, there's so many things that collapse there. I love that story with mom Because the guilt collapses the shame collapses the people pleasing collapses All of those scripts the validating collapses All of those things collapse and it's it's an it's a different It it's the same freedom, but in a way it's a different texture or taste of it when it's not being When that when that visceral guilt is not You know going and okay, but I gotta I will still validate or I will still hear out the story or I will still people Please or I will still yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mommy daddy. Yeah governments. Yeah, you know It's like its own like that whole thing collapses into the the freedom of of chaos and anarchy and joy and bliss and peace of decentralization and prosperity and just trust that unified bodies can build a beautiful new world And that there's no That whole mommy daddy Thing it's just so that's such a fascinating component of the of the guilt and the shame and the lesser than Also and part of it does appear like part of like liberation part of release is apparently Destroying the scripts that are running the destroying the ideas and programs around around mommy daddy Government to guru tell me true. Tell me true. Tell me how to be I will listen to you I will validate you I will feel shame or guilt if I don't people please or whatever all that stuff Yeah Blah blah blah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh because it can be so imagine I mean this just happened also in the summer with with parents too, but Like the parents in a way if if they feel like real solid entities One of the main things that is said is well now you will be my Continuation you will be my grandchild machine So there's a there's a strong there's a strong Like they couldn't like contractedness within the body That is then trying to in a way project itself onto its child to say that because i'm a real solid entity In time that now you as my child will you have to be my continuation and make me grandchildren? And so then there's that so then if you like kind of like accepting that is like, okay, I will listen And then like finally there can be like a rejection and like a release of the repression repressed energy and be like I am not Just your grandchild machine and I this will do whatever it does without that those conditioned ideas and so And there's endless scenarios like that that happen not just with parents, but with all kinds of dynamics in life And um, and that's all part of like non non repressing and non people pleasing non contracting Yeah, yeah somehow here in in a story when this um pandemic started and somehow this real life It started to change like here. I'm sorry. I put the lights on maybe Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I love the sunset that's happening right now. It's so pretty Holy shit, that's pretty I love it. I love the I love I love the contrast of that darkness Right with all of the different Hues of light wow Yeah, it's amazing. What a fucking like That was every day we are going to the beach Or yesterday we went and watched the sun set then Day morning we were running to the beach and watching the sunrise It's amazing play of colors here. Yes Yeah, but the sun is cool. I was like walking in the promenade Is it the right word? I don't know Yeah promenade. Yeah. Yeah promenade. Yeah. Yeah, and and I was watching how the sun Was rising and when the sun is rising on the sea, then you see the light Corridor in the on the sea where the sun is rising. Yeah, right And and your eyes see this but all All eyes, it doesn't matter where they are. They see the same way that the light is coming, you know, I'm moving and so light is It was so cool. I have no Thought about this way that yeah You can see it from this reflection or this light is reflecting back Yeah Yeah, that's the story of uh here The awakening happened in the story Although I say that when when there is someone who got awakened It's still a dream Yeah, so the dream here went so wild this pandemic thing It somehow waked something up here Like when I having the night nightmare Sometimes it's so so crazy that the body itself somehow wakes it up from the nightmare in the middle of the night dream and this daydream somehow This real life what I thought was real felt more and more green, you know, it can't be that you you lock down old planet And all this kind of bullshit was happening and then it was like turning off the news Um, not listening to radio when driving with car. It's not watching the tv No news life was perfect again although Full on madness was was going on But yeah, something was it was so off that shake shake this and then it was like What's the purpose or meaning of life? Like is it from monday to friday to work from nine till five until you are 70 then you are sick Can't travel It can't be only that exactly. Yeah. Yeah, just to be the labor right Yeah But this is of course, uh waking up inside the dream dream of charity But from that, I guess the seeking started from spirituality was the purpose. What's the meaning? It's not just working from monday to friday. There has to be something Something deeper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That seems like a common theme of of the story is The contraction from the apparent matrix and then seeking something more And then having a story about spiritual awakening and then just obviously seeing that nothing ever changed That it was always the same and that this is obviously Unity obviously Yeah, but the spirituality sells so much hope There is so good Place to go to seek. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah But this what's shared here doesn't settle or promise anything. Uh, yeah, it's devastating for the me A spiritual candy Yeah Yeah, yeah There's no candy dangling or or more material candy either. Yeah, nothing is going to give you what you already are. Yeah Yeah But You can play that game apparently that you lost something and now you are Trying to find what you lost. You don't you don't have a memory, but but yeah It's it's like the soul the story of soul living In different bodies reincarnation All that and this lifetime I have these learnings or teachings. I have to do this this this Maybe after 10 or I don't know 100 lifetime and then light and one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have work to do here Right. Right. Right. Right. Learning then. Yeah, right It keeps this illusion. Yes. Yes this illusion. Yeah. Yes All it wants to do is to survive me. It doesn't want to die. Yes. Yes. Yes. He wants to survive Yes, and it's a dream dream of separation and lack and attainment and all that and and then that that can apparently just spin around in a circle for endlessly because that's the fascinating thing is that We're talking about this a bit yesterday is that if there's like spinning around in a circle But then you get a material attainment Like you got that fancy thing that you were looking for You at least can you can sort of tell that oh, that's that like look the dissatisfaction was gone Was the satisfaction was gone back to dissatisfaction so quickly but with but with like spirituality is so like ethereal and conceptual and ideas and stuff that there's almost endless things that you can bounce around to And then oh and never feel Satisfied in those endless things. There's no nothing's like kind of viscerally Obviously hits you that that that that material thing didn't satisfy Well with those concepts nothing ever sort of hits you like that but apparently it does exhaust at some at some point and um Thank goodness that it can exhaust because can you imagine like an apparent 50 more years or something of Feeling unworthy and unwhole and just seeking like a narcissist Yeah, no Very very difficult to imagine even For tomorrow here. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine no tomorrow Imagine that waking up tomorrow and being like, oh, I'm unwhole. I gotta go find truth Yeah, imagine how fucking suffering that would be Yeah I still can feel the The feeling yeah, yeah, so when I'm talking one-on-ones with apparent seekers because When I'm hearing the story it feels like this one have been there also Apparently there is some memory arising and then there is compassion arising towards to that but But yeah, sorry. I can't give anything. I can't promise you that you die Because all I can say that there is already no one. Yeah, there's already Yeah, I just reflect that this is already. Yeah. Yeah Perfection or or fullness appearing as that or unconditional love or oneness. I don't care whoever or however called this This is nameless So, yeah, yeah, I don't care. I hear only the empty words Yeah, I feel I feel like I reflect that and then I also reflect If there's like a very strong like energy that really wants to sort of do something in order to Release more apparently that Sometimes it can actually just be obvious to say like yeah, just go and do that thing Like go and do that thing that you feel like is gonna is gonna, you know, there's nothing you Because that's also apparently what happened Is that Whatever happened in that thing, you know It didn't cause it but it It it has to be exhausted in a way It just has to work itself out it and it and it does it automatically It just it does it like a bird flies around and like pecs at like worms or whatever and like gets its or you know the Like there is alpacas outside right now and they're like, you know grabbing the grass and it's just like the The the alpaca animal. It's just, you know, it's just that's the function It's just the function of it. It's the same thing with this looping thing It's just a function and it just does itself out Yeah So if it feels like it's got to fucking go to india or whatever then it just fucking has to and it just goes into you know and like It's gonna be hilarious when it when it fucking When it Sits in the the empty throne that always was the wholeness that always was yeah Yeah, and then you're just laughing about this that yeah that idea that oh i had to go to india and I don't know wash the toilets or meditate 10 hours a day or whatever You can only laugh then you can only laugh a cosmic joke. Yeah And then you can say it here on this like on this podcast conversation and then perhaps it'll be heard Like okay, why are they laughing about like going to india and like all this kind of stuff and like You know not being able to find what's not lost Yeah Yeah, you you may say it a thousand times, but you hear it only once or you may listen it a thousand times But you hear it only once nice. That's another fun way to say it. Yeah. Yeah, so that's what it was in a way Yeah, right Go ahead. I didn't understand what they are laughing about like emerson this Said this is it and everyone laughing and he also and I was like Yeah And I guess yeah, I I forgot myself to talk and then I'm forgetting that there are apparent others so I forgot how to Be more gentle maybe sometimes to direct Yeah, yeah, what they're laughing about it's serious thing. I'm going to india. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, exactly What are you making fun of me? It's so serious No, I'm not laughing at anyone. I'm just Laughing with you my my my seeking journey is so important. Okay. How can you be so offensive? Yeah My me. Yeah, it's most important. It's most important special. Yes. Yes. Yes. Nice. Yeah You heard my feelings. Yeah. Yeah, but you don't have feelings There is no one it's so funny how it claims. Yeah. Yeah My claim claim claim claim Yeah, yeah Wow, what a fun Conversation. Holy cow Thanks for inviting and Happy to found you somehow you appeared In youtube or someone suggested to watch the you you and emerson and i'm very lazy to watch her I barely watch something but then I watched two your two videos And it was so fun and you do so small clips also. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah a little I didn't have consistency to watch long videos And I also sometimes do long videos, but I'm not doing it. It just happens Yeah, yeah Yeah, same. I I think I saw your content. Um Even a while ago. I started to see it, but then Most recently I I saw You interview emerson emerson interview you also and yeah, and And it is exciting. Yeah, this was a fun podcast. It was very It was it was kind of it was wild and free in a beautiful way. I yeah I loved I loved where we went and how we played and yeah, it was it was cool Yeah, and very random and yeah, I forgot I forgot that I don't know you That's when you're talking first time. I just remember right now. This is our first like video Call. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, that's cool too. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah our first video call was a podcast. Yeah First date first date and it's like some sort of like um, there's a yeah, there's like a resonance of play and joy and Like alignment or whatnot and it feels really fun. Yeah Cool, cool. Yeah, so more to play. Um on I want to I want to show one more time. Let me show the This one. Yeah, so This is Ares website again non-duality dot II Where's that? What's the II by the way? Estonia. Oh, it's It's the Estonia end of a website got it I love it how there's so Few in Estonia that you can get the non-duality dot ee. That's great And then here's her youtube channel too So go and check it out. The links are in the bio And there's also What is it? Is it like zoom meetings and stuff that that you can sign up for where you'll get absolutely nothing from them Yeah Just have fun Exactly. Just have fun. Just literally have fun. Yes. Yeah Okay, well, let me I'll end the stream and then you and I will stay for just another moment Thank you everyone for tuning in much love Much love Adios Oh, wow cool animation. Yeah, let's get that. I don't have I don't have Ciao