 The Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you partially transcribed by the Kraft Foods Company. Kraft, you know, makes Philadelphia brand cream cheese, the cream cheese that's been famous for quality since 1880. Delicious creamy white Philadelphia brand is so popular it outsells all other brands of cream cheese combined. Enjoy it often. Just be sure you get genuine Philadelphia brand when you buy. Look for the Red Kraft K on the silvery package. Remember, there's only one Philadelphia brand cream cheese and it's made by Kraft and guaranteed fresh. One of life's most exciting adventures is being experienced by the Great Gilder Sleeve's niece Marjorie and her husband Bronco. They bought a lot and are going to build a house and they're quite happy about it. The Great Gilder Sleeve is happy too because they're building on the lot next door to him. Good morning, Birdie. Good morning, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Where is everybody? I'm ready for breakfast. I can't get nobody around here interested in breakfast. Well, I'm here. Yes, sir. I can set my clock by you, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. You and the eggs are always ready at the same time. Well, you know. But you think I can get Mr. Bronco and Ms. Marjorie to eat this morning? I'll answer that. No, sir. What are they doing? Same thing they've been doing ever since they decided to build a house. They're in their sprawl on a living room floor, thumbing through home magazines, looking at pictures and making figures. Yeah, I'll go get them to the table, Birdie. Yes, sir. The way they're neglecting food, I bet they forget to put in a kitchen. Yeah, this is a big thing to them. Hello, kiddies. Good morning, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Hello, Anki. I see you're down on the floor. You must be working on your floor plans. Yeah. Not exactly. We're trying to decide how we can best utilize our lot. Bronco sketching where the house will be. You got a house? Looks more like a box kite. It's just rough, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. Yeah, they'll smooth out. He lets everybody go into breakfast. Birdie's waiting. Well, we have a little problem, Anki. Oh? You see, we want the house about here. The driveway will have to go here. So I'm afraid we'll have to lose our big oak tree. Yeah. Let me get down on the floor and take a look at that. Breakfast! You coming, Birdie? Let's see now. You saw I know what's what. Why don't we label these things? All right. H is for house. Yeah. D is the driveway. T, that's the tree. And I'll put G right here at the front door. G? What's that for? That's you, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. He just came to visit us. Well, thank you for the invitation. You all right, Birdie. All right. Say, this tree is a problem, isn't it? It's going to be hard to save. Hi, everybody. Hello, Leroy. Hey, isn't anybody eating breakfast? Well, of course, Leroy. What are you doing, eating on the floor? No, my boy. We're having a family conference. Yeah, well, let's have a conference at the breakfast table. I can think better while I'm eating. Excuse me. I know nobody cares, but breakfast is getting colder by the minute. Hi, Carol. Let's eat. Yeah, we're trying to see where the house should go, Birdie. I thought it was going next door. If we set the house back beyond the tree, Marge, you won't have any backyard at all. Oh, and it's such a beautiful oak. We have to have a backyard for the twins if they'll be playing out in the street. Well, you wouldn't want that. No, sir. No, I guess the tree just has to go. Okay, it has to go. Let's eat. Which tree is that? The big one in the middle of the lot there. Well, let's try to see that. Birdie, did you say breakfast is ready? I don't know how a builder ever makes heads and tails out of something like this. Well, these are just rough sketches, Birdie. Birdie! Just a minute, Leroy. Bronco, what do you suppose it'll cost to remove the tree? Plenty. Oh, when I think about what it'll cost before we even get started, it scares me. Well, maybe it'd feel better if you ate something. Do you think we'll ever be able to manage it? No, Birdie, don't worry. You have problems, but we'll work them out. Well, problems always seem smaller after you eat. Birdie! Leroy, we've got to work these plans out. Oh, for corn's sake. I've got to break this up. I got to let me put so much in the lot I hate to spend the money to have the tree taken out right now. Well, perhaps you could... Coming, Birdie! I mean, Leroy! In the office, let's take a look at this tree, Leroy. Pretty big tree, uncle. I'm afraid it'll cost Margarine Bronco quite a bit to get rid of it. You poor kids. If it was me, I'd build a house on the tree. Leroy, you can't ask nine-month-old twins to climb up a rope ladder. We're not raising tarzans, you know. Hey, uncle, there's Mr. Bullard standing on his porch looking at you. Let him look. I'm not doing anything. Hey, he's coming across the street. What a neighbor. You wonder what he's coming over to complain about this time. He probably wants to tell us where to put the house. Well, by George, we'll make decisions on our side of the street, and I'll tell him that. Oh, boy, this is going to be good. What do you want, Bullard? Ah, good morning, Gildersleeve. Good morning. Oh, good morning. Good morning, Leroy. Hi. Get him. Yeah, I wonder what he's after. I understand Marjorie and her husband are planning to build right away, Gildersleeve. Yes, indeed. I was just trying to decide what to do about this old oak tree. Oh, yes. You know, I remember playing under this tree as a boy. Little Amy Sue and I. Amy Sue? Amy Sue Weatherby, one of my many boyhood sweethearts. Egotist. I have some very romantic memories about this tree. I know what he's after. He doesn't want us to cut down. What do you propose to do about the tree, Gildersleeve? Well, Mr. Bullard, this may come as a shock to you, but I'm having it taken out. You are? Sorry. I'm not. I'm delighted. I thought because of Amy Sue. Oh, that's all past, Gildersleeve. I'll be glad to see it out. It obstructs my view, and every autumn the leaves blow over on my lawn. I hate other people's leaves. Well, personally, I like leaves. I don't. As a matter of fact, I came over prepared to pay for having this tree removed. You did? But since you're taking care of the job, Gildersleeve, I can save my money. Money? Oh, wait a minute, Mr. Bullard. All we've done so far is just talk about removing the tree. I thought it was all settled. Leeroy. It isn't settled. The more I look at this towering oak with all those big leaves, the more I think we should keep it. I get it, Uncle. Now, Gildersleeve, there's a little... And the bigger it gets, the more leaves it'll drop. You bet. It's a valuable addition to the property. Worth money. Oh, stop it, Gildersleeve. I'll make out a check. Oh, I wasn't hitting, Mr. Bullard. How much do you think it'll cost to remove it? $20? Well, I guess it'll come closer to $50. Nonsense. How about $25? When you stand back and see how tall it is, it could run $55. Gildersleeve? $30. And then they'll have to dig out the stump. Well, I doubt if they could do it for a penny less than $60. $35? Then you have to saw up all the wood and haul it away. $65. That's right. At least $65. I'll give you a $40. I'll take it. What a coward. It's been a good day. I'm glad I cashed Bullard's check. He might change his mind and try to back out of the deal. Gildersleeve, you're quite a manipulator. Bertie. Hey, Mr. Gelsleeve. You're Roger and Bronco home? Not yet. Look what I have for them, Bertie. What's that, money? Yeah, four new $10 bills. You'll take care of moving that tree they're worried about. Yes, sir. You donate that, Mr. Gelsleeve? No. Mr. Bullard is. Mr. Bullard? It's Mr. Bullard's money. It was my idea. Just doing it to help Marjorie and Bronco. Pretty clever the way I worked it out, too, Bertie. Yes, sir. How did you work it? Well, he didn't like the old leaves going on his property. And he said it obstructed his view. It was worth $40 to him to get rid of the tree. Yes, sir. Mr. Gelsleeve, you're a regular magician. Well, I'll pull a little magic once in a while. Yeah, I've seen him pull rabbits out of hats, but I never saw him turn old leaves into new money. Well, I did it, Bertie. Yes, sir. That's because you're a magician. Now you see a tree over there, and now you don't. Because Mr. Gelsleeve can turn old leaves into new money. You bet. Mr. Gelsleeve, you know why you're a magician. Yes, Bertie. That's right, because you can turn old leaves into new money. Well, I guess Houdini couldn't have done it any better. Oh, Mr. Gelsleeve. Well, Bronco, Marjorie. Well, there's a lot of hilarity out here in the kitchen. What are you cooking with, Bertie? Laughing gas? I was laughing because Mr. Gelsleeve said you're a fine magician. Oh. What'd he do? Go ahead and tell him, Mr. Houdini. Well, I have a happy solution to the tree problem. Oh, so do we, Mr. Gelsleeve. We can save the big tree after all. Uh-oh. You can save the tree? Uh-huh. Uncle, we went back to the lot and decided we just couldn't part with it. We found a plant in a magazine with the house built right around the tree. The house will be you-shaped, Unkie. Isn't that clever? Yes, but, children, I thought you definitely decided to have the tree taken out. Oh, Mr. Gelsleeve, we wouldn't think of it now. Why, that tree's at least 150 years old. I'm beginning to feel older than that. Now, what was your idea about the tree, Unkie? That was my idea. Well, speaking of trees, I have to go see a man about some leaves. I'd like to keep the tree, too. This puts me in what you might call an embarrassing position. Marjorie and Bronco were so enthusiastic about the new plans, I couldn't tell them I sold their tree. Well, you just have to tell the board we've changed our plans. I'll return his money, so what can he say? Yeah, I wonder what he will say. Yes, Gelsleeve? You know, Mr. Bullard, about the tree. You're taking it out tomorrow? Well, not exactly. When are you taking it out? Well, Mr. Bullard, the children have talked it over and decided... Gelsleeve, if you came over to weedle more money out of me... No, no, no, no. Isn't that at all? In fact, I came over to return your $40. Why? Well, we decided to keep the tree, so here's your money. Gelsleeve, I don't want the money. I want the tree taken out. I'm sorry, Mr. Bullard, but that's impossible. Gelsleeve, you made a bargain with me. Well, in a way, yes. We didn't sign any contract. You can't legally hold me. There's nothing in writing, Mr. Bullard. Gelsleeve, I wrote a check, didn't I? You cashed the check, didn't you? Yes, but... What did it say on the check? Well, payment is full for removal of tree. But... Mr. Bullard, it really isn't up to me. Actually, I don't have anything to do with that tree. It's Marjorie and Bronco's property. Is he? So you sold property that doesn't belong to her, you know? Well, I guess you might say, like... Like... Zeke. Now, Gelsleeve, you understand a little law, and unless you want to be sued on anyone or all of several charges, you will remove the tree. You are, Mr. Bullard, you wouldn't sue me. Think of my good name. If you don't remove that tree by tomorrow night, you won't have a name, you'll just be a number. Ha-ha! With my luck, it'll be 13. Frosting you make with Philadelphia cream cheese is never grainy, never too soft, never too hard. It's wonderfully creamy-rich because Philadelphia brand is made with lots of fine milk and thick cream. And Philadelphia cream cheese gives you frosting that's moist and fresh-tasting because Philadelphia brand tastes fresh. It's guaranteed fresh by craft. And Philadelphia cream cheese helps keep your frosting fresh-tasting longer. You'll be delighted with Philly frosting. And you'll be delighted with the fudge you can make with Philadelphia brand cream cheese, too. It's delicious, smooth fudge you make without cooking in just 15 minutes. And it always turns out perfectly. Of course, it's important that you use genuine Philadelphia brand cream cheese. Every silvery package of genuine Philadelphia brand is marked with a red craft K to help you pick the real thing at a glance. Remember, Philadelphia brand is made only by craft and guaranteed fresh. Now, to get your free pamphlet with more than 20 easy recipes for delicious Philly frosting and fudge, just write to Craft Kitchen, box 6567 Department G, Chicago 77, Illinois. That's Craft Kitchen, box 6567 Department G, Chicago 77 No matter how hard a man tries to do the right thing, there usually comes a time in his life when he has to see a lawyer. Guess who's on his way to see Judge Hooker? Hi, George. It's nice to have a friend when you're in trouble. Especially if your friend happens to be a good lawyer. Hello, Judge. Well, what brings you to my office so early in the morning? Is, Judge, I'm in trouble. Oh, has the water commissioner been caught diluting the water? Judge, this is serious. Rumson Bullard is threatening to sue me. Well, I thought he'd find an excuse sometime. Sit down, Gilley, and tell me what happened. Well, Margie and Bronco wanted to remove the big tree on their lot, but they didn't feel they could spare the money. I see. Rumson Bullard considered the tree a nuisance and gave me a check for $40 to get rid of it. Splendid. That's what I thought. Then Margie and Bronco decided they'd keep the tree and build their house around it. Well, what's the problem? Naturally, you were too smart to catch the jag. No, I wasn't. Judge, don't look at me like that. Help me. Well, fortunately for you, Gilley, I know Mr. Bullard very well. In fact, he's a client of mine too. I'll straighten out the whole thing over the phone. You mean I won't have to go to court? Yes, let me talk to Rumson. Often a lawyer handles both sides of a cake. My George, I have to hand it to you, Judge. You know you're legal onions. Your good neighbor, Mr. Gildersleeves, told me about your little misunderstanding. You had a boy. I thought before either of you make a mountain out of a molehill, we'd better have a friendly chat. Good thing I came to the judge. What a smoothie. Naturally, there's no intent to do wrong on the part of anybody involved. After all, you're both practical, intelligent men. Listen to that. The judge should be on the Supreme Court. Now, Rumson, why don't you just need everything to me? You bet. You want to find Chief Justice he'd make. What's that, Rumson? I had a feeling you'd see it that way. I'll so inform Mr. Gildersleeves. Goodbye, Rumson. Oh, gee, I just had a pleasure to sit back and watch a fine lawyer work. What did he say? Gilder, my client says if you don't have that tree out, he'll come over and chop it down himself. Yes! Not only that, he's instructed me to file a suit. Oh! Sorry, Gilders. When I need a lawyer, why do I come to an old gloat? Here's the only thing left to do is make a clean breast of it to Marjorie and Bronco. Marjorie and Bronco home? Yeah, they're up the tree deal. Easy. I'm going to do that right now. Good luck, Uncle. Thank you, my lawyer. Yeah, actually, I'm making more of a problem of this than it really is. You and I tell Marjorie and Bronco, the bullet will sue me if the tree is taken out. They'll understand. Sure. Yesterday they're giving up the idea of keeping it anyway. So it can't mean too much to them. Marjorie! Bronco! Come in, Uncle. Thank you. Oh, Mr. Gilderslee. You were just standing here at the window admiring our tree. Yeah. Well... Isn't it beautiful, Uncle? Yes, it's nice. But if you could shrewdly persuade somebody to pay for having it removed, you could buy several young trees and spot them wherever you wanted them. Oh, no. No. We want this tree and we want it right where it is. Well... Look, Anki, you can count four bird nests. Yeah, but birds nest in young trees, too. Just think. Birds singing outside the nursery window. Yeah. A tree that may in summer wear a nest of robins in her hair. Oh, my goodness. The birds will be back next spring, Mr. Gilderslee. That tree stays. I wonder where this bird will be next spring. You know, Marge, someday when the twins are old enough, I'm gonna hang a swing from that big, gnarled limb. Well, you're getting back to younger trees. I can just see the twins now, romping and rolling in its shade, and Anki dozing in a big hammock. Me? Mr. Gilderslee, that tree has become a part of our family. The twins, Marge and me, you and the tree. Hi, George. What a wonderful family. I'd never consent to having it taken out. No, sir. Neither would I. I'd go to jail first. Mr. Gilderslee, you just missed a judge. Good. You'd have been happy to see him. He has good news. The old goat leaving town? Mr. Gilderslee, the town couldn't get along without a good lawyer like the judge. Phoebe, judge hooker is a bum. He felt so badly about you getting sued. He talked Mr. Bullard out of it. He did? You know, judge what a fine fellow. He said Mr. Bullard was glad to drop the charges. You? He preferred to come over this evening and chop down the tree himself. He'd do it too. Phoebe, I can't let that happen to the kids' tree. They don't even suspect this about to happen. You don't care. I tried, but I just couldn't bring myself to tell them. There must be some way I can stop Bullard. He must have a soft spot in his heart somewhere. Well, perhaps you should buy him a box of cigars with his money. Phoebe, I tried to give him his money back, but he wouldn't take it. He'd send down who be over there ax in hand. Well, when it comes to striking the actual blow, it's hard to chop down a fine old tree. I had to do it once. I know. You know, I felt pretty sentimental about that tree, too. I became smitten with a girl, so I carved our initials in the tree with two hearts and twine. Well, I guess we've all done that, Phoebe. When Mrs. Phoebe and I got married, I cut down the tree. Phoebe, why didn't you and Mrs. Phoebe leave it standing as a memorial? Well, Mr. Gill just leave the initials on that tree. It weren't Mrs. Phoebe. Oh, my goodness. Well, it may have posed a problem for you, but it's easy for Bullard to chop down this tree. He told me about Amy Sue and other girls he courted under it, but he has absolutely no sentiment about it. Well, he may not say so, but a man doesn't forget those things. Yeah, I don't know, Phoebe. Time wears memories pretty thin. Look at you. You never think about that girl's initials you carved on the tree. No, no, I wouldn't say that. You're correctly dark. I mean, you're quite a wild one. Bullard hadn't shown up. Say, maybe he's changed his mind. Sure, I'll bet that's it. You just wanted me to worry for a day or two. He isn't a bad fellow. His porch light just went out across the street. Here he comes with an axe. What an old meanie. Gill's leave? Is that you? Yes, Mr. Bullard. What a big axe. Gill's leave, I see you aren't going to remove the tree, so I'll take care of it. Step back. Yeah, wait a minute, Mr. Bullard. I've waited. Now stand back. Mr. Bullard, you can't do this. I paid you to do the job, but if you won't, I will. I'll start right here. You wait. Don't chop from this side. The tree will fall right across my driveway. Good. Then you'll have to haul it away. Please, Mr. Bullard, chop from the other side. Well, all right. You should. You chop right here where it says... Hey, what's this? What are you looking at? It's a little dark. But there's some carving here. Two hearts in twine. Oh, let me see that. Oh, Gill's leave, look at this. Amy Sue loves Rumson? What do you know, after all these years? Little Amy Sue, you're cute. I didn't know she cared so much. Gill's leave? I probably broke her heart. Well, I can imagine. Of course the town's done one. Handsome lad. Well, that's the ground. Maybe we can find some more broken hearts. Yeah, now, Mr. Bullard, it's getting dark. We'd better chop down the tree. Here, give me the axe. Gill's leave? Don't you touch this tree. Well, I thought you wanted to cut it down. I'll sue the man who harmed one twig of this porous friend. Yeah, you'd better take your money back then. Here's your $40. Thank you, Gill's leave. Amy Sue loves Rumson. Let me look at that again. Hey, this carving looks a little fresh. You guys? Wait a minute. Aren't these new chips at the bottom of the tree? Well, yes, Leroy. Have you finished with my jackknife? Gill's leave will be with us again in just 30 seconds. Now you can enjoy two wonderful new versions of famous Philadelphia brand cream cheese. There's Philadelphia brand filled with tangy bits of fresh chives, and Philadelphia brand with bits of red pimento all through it. With these two new kinds of fresh-tasting Philadelphia brand cream cheese, you'll fix tempting delicious snacks and sandwiches more easily than ever. To get genuine Philadelphia brand, be sure you see the Redcraft K on the silvery package. Remember, there's only one Philadelphia brand, and it's made and guaranteed fresh by Kraft. You see, we're on carve from a tree. That was an awful thing to do to Mr. Bullard, Anki. I just outsmarted, and that's all. After all, it was a life at stake, the life of this spreading oak. It's been waiting here 150 years for you and Bronco to build your little home under his protecting branches. That's right, Anki. Marge. Yes? I thought Mr. Gildersleeve said they couldn't find any more carving on the tree. Who is this? I guess they didn't look very carefully. Look here, Uncle Mort. Two hearts in twine. Bronco loves marjorie. Oh, Bronco. Oh, brother. Good night, folks. Great Gildersleeve is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White and is partially transcribed. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Dick Brenna, Gail Gordon, Earl Ross and Dick LeGrand. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. Question. What's the best way to raid an ice box? The answer with Kraft's prepared mustard, of course. Because when you add a little Kraft mustard to the sandwich you make, you add a lot of tang. And here's something for you professional ice box raiders to remember. There are two kinds of Kraft mustard, salad mustard with that delicately spiced mild flavor. Ah, and then there's Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both kinds on hand. Then you won't meet up with a dish, but what you'll have just the mustard, you add a lot of tang. By Kraft's prepared mustard. Groucho Marx, you bet your life he's next on NBC.