 That's all we need. What episode are we on? Episode 10. Episode 10. Welcome to Off-Topic Tuesday, episode 10. We have to go quick because we're busy. It's been a busy day. What time is it? It is 5 o'clock, actually. It's 5 o'clock, and we're finally getting to record this. Normally, we record this at like 8 30 in the morning. It's done by 10 a.m. Done by 10 a.m. So, you know, busy, busy days, which is good. So let's just jump into it here. Someone is sending Amazon sex toys to strangers, and Amazon has no idea how to stop this. So you're starting off with a bang, then. Yeah, we sure are. Your first story. The first time Nikki unexpectedly received a sex toy in an Amazon box, she thought there must be a mix-up at the factory. She thought she had bought some mascara that hadn't arrived yet. It was not mascara, though. It's very difficult to apply that particular kind of mascara. The weird part about this is if a prank or hacker was sending these things to women on the internet, it'd be expensive. The sex toys are about $25 and up, so this becomes a substantial prank. Wow, hey. I mean, you know, if I had the extra scratch, would you just send random? I might, actually. I might just. Like, what random things should we send to people? Like, if you have a couple of friends and you're like, you know what would start a fight between them? This thing, if I sent them on Amazon. This in general doesn't have to be a sex toy, but what, like, I'm just going to send it. I'm going to market gifts, surprise, ants. Just send them ants. Just answer some ants. I mean, we have all the glitter in a box, boomer box, and all those things, but this is, like, we think you need this. This is useful, you know? I mean. Could you send it to people, send, like, some of them a toothbrush to some of them a bad breath, if you're like here. Oh. Just send a few of them and some extra tubes of toothpaste. Yeah. You know what this person needs? Toothpaste. Let's just toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, mouthwash, like the whole kit. People with hygiene problems. We'll just send them things from Amazon. With the Amazon button to automatically renew. We'll send them a dash button. With a dash button. On me. On me. This is a public service. As often as you need them. So. Yeah. Well, I mean, you know what? Good for them. Good for them. That's sharing, it's paying it forward. Paying it forward. You know? So, and really quick, we should introduce Kyle, who is joining us today. Oh, yeah. My worker. Kyle, yeah, we're not here at 8.30 in the morning, no. Yeah. So we figured since he's here now. I'm walking if I'm here by 10, and we open at 10. Yeah. 10.05 is generally about time he gets here. Every now and then we have to have the office space chat of, you know, it's not a half day or anything, but it started the usual time. Yes. And yet I still turn the open sign on, even though they've been here for a while. That's true. We don't open till I get here, apparently. Well. No. The store doesn't open, even though we're all here. The store does not officially open until Kyle's here. Right. This was an article in Registry that made me laugh. It says, rogue IT admin goes off the rails and shut down Canadian train switches. Oh. Yeah. That seems dangerous. How long do you think it took them to come up with that headline? I like it. They go further. The register has great headlines. Grouchy group gets a year and a day behind bars after going loco on the network hardware. Oh my gosh. I love. How many puns can we find? I love, great. Well, and they got alliteration in there, and I'm a sucker for good alliteration. You gotta love that. Grouchy group gets. Grouchy group gets. Group A. I think it was a group A. Is it a group A? I don't know. A group A 222 to take. What? Groucho chose to take a walk on the side of the tracks. Oh my gosh. Got a submission. Really, he used his work notebook and credentials to log in CPR's computer network switches and began to let off some steam. Oh. OK. I love Canada. I love Canada. He then wiped the laptop he used to sideline the switches, destroyed all the logs, and attempt to cover his tracks before he handed back the computer. He's awesome. He really, management really blew their stack. This is the best article I've ever read. It's almost painful. It's so good. It's bad. Yes. After reviewing the evidence, the cops charged grouping with one court of international damage of a protected computer. A jury found him guilty after a five-day trial of October last year, till Tuesday this week. US court should judge, blah, blah, blah, to get your long stay in the big house. Any more puns we can come up with? I think they got them all. Group B's his last name. Like, is Canadian prison better than American prison? Yes. It's subjective, but I'm going to go with it. If you get 10 years in Canadian prison, it's really only like six and a half years with the exchange. So you're not there quite as long. Their maximum security is just extra guards telling you that they're sorry for the, sorry, you didn't get enough food today. We'll go with that. Sorry you had to stay there for an extra hour. I can't even come up with more puns. I think they covered all of them. They had all of them. They had all of them. So not to leave in, artificial intelligence out. So far that's been a theme since topic one, so episode one, artificial intelligence is now fighting fake porn. Two episodes ago, it was creating the fake porn. So now we have bots versus bots. These ones are fighting the fake porn. Facial recognition machine learning programs have officially been democratized. And of course the internet is using them to make porn at first reported by motherboard. People are now creating A.I. assisted face swap porn, which that's what we talked about. Now it's the opposite. This is the automatic flagging and apparently Giffy cat's using it. So, Giffy cat? GFI cat. Oh yeah, Giff cat. Giff cat. Is it, I don't know, is that how you pronounce it? There's a Y. Yeah, there's a Y. I would say Giffy cat. I say Giffy cat. Yeah. Okay. Anyways, let us know how you pronounce that. We don't know. Yeah. Giffy cat. So the internet give us fake porn and the internet has taken away. Bots have given us fake porn and they don't have taken them away. No, what I was, hope was that they would find any of these that were fake and reswap the face. That's actually, that's what I was wondering. For everybody to put like, Wilford Brimley in there or something. Oh, I thought it finds the original and gives you the original. Like here you go. No, I would want- We're actually looking for it. I would want to be like, oh, I'm about to check it. Oh my gosh, it's Scarlett Johansson and oh no, that is not Scarlett. That is Wilford Brimley. Well, they had that one- Thomas the Tank Engine? Oh, tell me. That'd be a great face. That's, wow, that's, yeah, wow. That would be fun. Thomas the Tank Engine. There we go. What's the other one? They swapped out the movie with, what's his name? The actor that's goofy, that's real extreme, Nichols Cage. Oh yeah, well they made his face and everything. Well, they actually did that. They replaced his face throughout an entire movie. Yeah, all the actors, he displays all the roles. Yeah. So, yay. I'd watch that. Yeah. So we need to work on one of these, I want to replace it with this ugly old actors. Oh yeah. That's what I want to do. I want it to be role 34, so I'm gonna watch it. Not at first. Make it 10 seconds in. Yeah. You gotta get invested first. Yeah. Like 10 seconds in, surprise. Yeah, like after the investment in porn? I don't know. I'm committed after. I made an arbitrary number. Well, the first 10 seconds, if they're bad, you move on. That's true. Yeah, yeah. You know, that's an interesting thing. Google, do we ever go to page two? On occasion. But it's rare. On other sites, maybe page nine, 10, 11, 12. Yeah. Well, because the thing you want on the other sites isn't on page one. Yeah, I mean, they're a bit smart enough. I mean, Pornhub even knows to give you a skip five. I mean. Skip five? At least you'll go five deep in here. Oh, that's a bad point. Oh yeah. Okay. Moving on. Moving on, this is our short show today. You know what we haven't heard a lot about is Ajit Pai. Oh, that's right. I forgot we have that article in here, too. Yeah. What's going on with him? Apparently, he's not as good of a lawyer as we thought. I'm shocked. Last I heard, he was getting investigated. He's getting investigated by the FCC. That's the article. Wait, doesn't he run the FCC? Yeah. Well, it's a mess. And then, of course, with all the controversy here. Oh, I see the FCC's inspector general investigating. And the caption, we're gonna leave links to the articles, but the caption, that's the look on his face is timeless. Yeah, he's just like, like, whoop. Yeah. He's like, that is classic deer in the headlights. It really is. You're doing what? Yeah. Now, completely related to this is the clever workaround they're working at for against the FCC. This is the weirdest thing. So they said you can't pass state laws. I tell you about this. So you can't pass the state laws as part of what the ruling was. So the FCC is gonna revoke net neutrality, and then the states are not supposed to pass laws because federal law- To revoke the FCC ruling. Well, the federal law trumps the state law, but you just repealed the federal law, so now we can have state laws. Oh, right, yeah. Because apparently there's some loophole about handing it over to the Federal Trade Commission to handle that they can't. So now they can start to vote. Well, this is actually a good bad thing. So it's bad because it's gonna create a giant mess because now all the ISPs have to deal with as many states come up with laws. And so if every state comes with their own law, they have 50 different laws to navigate. So without a central federal one. So it's just, wow. Now compliant in 23 states. Yeah, we're compliant in this state, but not this one, we gotta behave this way. Yeah, then I gotta do some follow-up. I know AT&T just, now that they removed everything, they were the first ones to jump on. They're actually doing something against net neutrality was. AT&T's on me. They're letting companies, if you sponsor content, it won't count against a person's data. You're doing this error-rating thing. So yeah, so, which, yeah, I mean. Which basically pays for a fast lane and blah, blah, blah. We don't get on that topic. We'll just stay off topic. So these were the articles we had today. Links will be in the comments below. Let us know what you think. If you have weird stuff to send us, send it to us. Leave it in the comments. We read the comments and post the articles that you want us to cover next week. We like fun stories. We love fun stories. If you have another... Have you been affected by the Amazon sex toy thing? We wanna know. Oh, gosh, yes, you have gotten, oh, please let us know. If you're a victim of the Amazon sex toy scandal. Are you a victim, though? That's the thing. It happens as you tell them. Victim. I guess it depends on what was sent to you. It also depends on your outlook. I mean, if it's clearly something you don't want, like, yeah, we joke about it, but if it's offensive to you, I don't see it. Yeah, right. Well, and I guess like, if it doesn't fall in your purview, I mean, they're... Yeah, pur... See what I did there? Yeah. Okay. Oh. Like if I got a particular kind of toy, maybe I'd be cool with it. I don't wanna know. If I got a particular other kind, maybe I'd be like... Maybe Marvin will post his Amazon wish list in here. Oh, you know what? That's not a bad idea. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he wants to buy Marvin on things on his wish list. It also depends on who gets it. Like, if you're 30, okay, if it's your 16-year-old daughter that gets one, I can understand that being a problem. Yeah, no, that's not... No, that's not... Yeah, yeah. As much as we make light of it, it depends on... That is true. And so that's a question. And if you feel like randomly sending things here, our address is on there. Because... It sure is. Literally, people do send us things. If you wanna mail us something, our mailing address is on our website. And now we're gonna have to shake the box and it's gonna vibrate. You realize that, right? You can't segue from random sex toys to... If you wanna send us things, it will not be the first time that it's happened with deliveries here, okay? Yes. True, you know? We won't even say... This is a serious question. Stick to the wall. Serious question. Is it... What are the laws on sending a sex toy to an underage person? They're all listed as massagers, so there's no... Okay, what if it very obviously is not? I mean, is that what they're sending? Is that what is being sent through Amazon as massagers? Or are they sending straight up? If I type in massager, you know what comes up in Amazon. Right, right, but I'm saying, like if I straight up send a very... It's clearly a sex toy is sent to an underage person. What are the laws on that? I don't want to know. I'm curious to know because if that has happened... As a father, it's called whoops, someone's ass. Well, exactly. Go ahead and Google it. I'm not gonna Google it, but you Google it. I mean, what are the laws? Yeah, I'm not ruining my Google search right here. Well, that's exactly it. Oh, let's be honest. I wouldn't ruin my Google search. I've Googled so much crazy crap. That's probably true. As a writer... Yeah, oh gosh. There's things that Marvin Googles as a writer. Oh yeah, no, because he's a writer. I am on so many government watch lists. How many elephants does it take to do this thing? Yeah, exactly. How long does it take to dissolve the body in a raft of masses in the assignment? Remind me not to piss you off. Right, yeah. I mean, I Googled all the things. I know a few different ways, you know? Yep. All right, thanks for watching. Like, subscribe, send us stuff, leave comments and mail us things if you really want. Sure. If you got 25 bucks to spare. We've got 25 minutes to talk about it. That's true. And it'll go to good use, maybe not what you intended, but we'll play with it. Absolutely. There's a decent chance it gets hooked up to an electronic 30,000 bullet fry kind of deal, you know? Or all of our computers. I'm just arbitrarily making the corn horns. I'm just arbitrarily making the shape. The shape of what he's on his list. It could be this loaf of bread. It could be, I don't know. Please send us baguettes. Food. We like Amazon Pantry. Amazon Pantry. And spicy things. Thanks. See you next week.