 So I moved to LA and I found this really irritating new agey term that I heard people sang all the time and it was aligned or alignment. Now honestly I hate it even more than people talking about mercury and retrograde and that being the reason why their life hasn't worked out for them as if eating donuts and sitting on the couch watching the queen's gambit wasn't the real reason but I want to share how digging into this idea of alignment has actually given me a very important aha moment that I want to share with you. What's up guys? Alex Hine, author of the book Milk the Pigeon. If you've ever felt lost in life this is my second book I highly recommend. Again I've included a free link below this video which is for a free journaling worksheet to help plan out and design your dream life right? You can check that out right below this video and that worksheet is free as well. So really in this video what I'm sharing is five prompts or five questions you can ask yourself to see if you are really aligned and what I've since come to learn is this idea of alignment is really about does something energize you or drain you internally and in that regard I've actually grown to love it because now I can think externally what I have to do as well as internally has it really few. So the first question is are you using logic to justify covering up the fact that something is not a 10 out of 10 and really exciting you? Years ago I had a friend who was talking about moving to New York City and you could tell almost from the way she was talking about it she wasn't really internally that excited to go to New York City but she kept using all these logical terms like imagine all the creatives all meet and the cool people there are the dating is going to be so much better than this small town and most of all it's New York right like who doesn't want to live in New York but she was using these logical terms these logical explanations and justifications and validations for the fact that she was covering up really that she didn't really feel that much of a pull to New York it was just New York so it had this aura about it. Some years later when she left she remarked that it really wasn't that monumental in her life progress but she felt like because it had this draw and it was so renowned for being New York she felt like she should try it. Now the comedian Kyle Cease in his book talks about if you're justifying something internally and it's not actually a 10 out of 10 and I found that to be really profound. The second question or the second prompt is this thing that I'm thinking about is it only a 7 out of 10? So I saw this exercise online that really really helped me in those areas of my life where maybe there's some gray area or I'm having a hard time really getting a clear decision. So what the author said was you basically write down the thing that you want to do and you write down are you motivated to do it on a 1 out of 10 being the least motivated or a 10 out of 10 being the most motivated. The problem is that it's the numbers in between that really getcha it's the 7 and the 8 that screw you because you'll deliberate forever and not make a decision. So what he said was you write it out from 1 to 10 but then you remove the 7 and the 8 from the spectrum. So it's either going to be a 6 or it's going to be a 9 out of 10 and when you use that exercise it makes a lot of sense right because should I move to New York well it's like a 7 maybe 8 well there's no 7 and 8 on the spectrum so is it a 6 which is really like it's not a good decision it's almost a failing grade or is it a 9 out of 10? 9 and 10 that's like green light let's go for it. So make a decision put it on the spectrum remove the 7 and the 8 and see where it lands. The third hack or the third habit rather to see if you are really aligned in your life is to see what your body says. Now I was once on this date with a great girl objectively she was super attractive super smart good family good values everything logically was great on paper but my body was not that excited it's just sweet and it was just one date and but I just I didn't feel it you know I didn't feel excitement about dating this girl and I should have listened to that because we ended up talking for just like a few weeks and I felt kind of guilty having to let her down telling her I was so attracted but I just didn't feel it I don't know why I didn't feel it I didn't feel it thankfully it was just one date but have you ever gone on a date or been in someone's presence where you think you should like them or think you should like this but that's not how you really feel well your body is the more accurate compass so if you can trust that your body is going to really be showing you your degree of alignment with this situation so trust that not what your mind is saying the fourth exercise you can use is to make a thin slice decision years ago when I was in college I had to come up with a summer internship you know I was half environmental science major half pre-med or biology major and I needed an environmental internship for my program now I was looking at local internships because I went to school down south at Clemson and I was trying to find things down south or back in New England or maybe out west but they were all kind of you know I would get in my head about them and then my mom said you know hey I found this cool in their trip online it's in Fiji doing marine biology research snorkeling in the water all day and there was no hesitation that was a definite yes for me now the thing is there's a lot of situations in life where you may be deliberating about something thinking about a decision and for me the number one way to know it's not something really aligned with what you want is if you pause and hesitate even a little do you like him or her well no do you want to do that job I mean I'm thinking no there should be no hesitation because that is the definition of a hell yes now I would say that the fifth exercise or strategy or habit you could use is this idea that I don't know really means no so if you're going out with someone you're dating and you're in the courting phase and someone asks you know what about that guy what about that girl and you're like well I don't know should I do this just stop it right there I don't know really is it no should I get this new job or pivot this new career I don't know is it no this is frustrating and difficult for some people because a lot of life falls into the gray area of I'm not really sure so in my opinion treat I don't know as a no because it's really not exciting enough for you to say I know and in my opinion the two parts of your life that should sure as God be undeniable hell yeses or love and work in dating someone do you want to date someone that calls you and I don't know to their friends do you want to be in a job for nine ten hours a day that's me I don't really know if I like this or if it's worth it or there's any delivers any value to the world or is meaningful at all hell no right so I don't know equals no now all these strategies are really talking about alignment with your emotions and your psychology so they're really all about how you feel and alignment is on some level aligning your external life with how you really feel and one of the best services to help you do that is called better help which I've partnered with in this video now this video today is sponsored by better help better help is the leading provider of online counseling which is really counseling for the modern age you can text a counselor or video chat them and over half a million people have actually gotten counseling through them to date now they have different therapists for different purposes and even different goals in life every counselor is licensed and the sign-up process will actually give you some questions to determine exactly what you need so they can match you with someone you can text you can live chat you can do a phone call or video chat a counselor worldwide and the pricing for the program is monthly so rather than procession you also get unlimited messaging throughout so if this connected with you guys here today please go ahead and get connected with your professional counselor at the link below betterhelp.com forward slash monk all right you guys so check out the link down below for better help if that connects with you it resonates and then before you go I have two related videos on this topic here