 The Hollywood Radio Theatre. The Hollywood Radio Theatre. Adaptations of famous motion pictures with Hollywood's greatest star. There is your host, Frank Brzeeve. Greetings again, ladies and gentlemen. The roster of pictures Kerry Grant has starred in is a hit parade of Hollywood. In past weeks we have presented, here comes Mr. Jordan, Mr. Blandings builds his dream house, and The Bachelor and The Bobby Soxer. And the film that's my pleasure to present on this program is one of the brightest. The hilarious comedy from RKO Pictures, Every Girl Should Be Married. Just the title of the play alone expresses a very popular sentiment. But as a comedy, it's an hour of entertainment you won't want to miss. And so, it's time for our play. With Kerry Grant as Dr. Madison Brown and Betsy Drake as Annabelle, we raise the curtain on Act One of Every Girl Should Be Married. There's a drug store across the street from Sanford's fashionable department store. It's lunchtime. And at the Soda Fountain, two sales girls from Sanford have ordered their usual sandwich and are deeply immersed in their usual topic of conversation. Men. Well, it just doesn't make sense, Julie. Why can't a girl send a man candy and flowers to take him to dinner? Or call for them in our car and go for a nice little drive in the country? And run out of gas, Annabelle? Maybe, if we wanted to. Of course, I don't suppose I'll meet the right man today. I may not even meet him this week or even this year. But believe me, when I see him, I'll know him. And then what? Well, I'll put my plan to work. A girl has simply got to plan. A girl who doesn't plan? Well, it's simply the difference between G.I. Joe and General Eisenhower. Oh, hi, Eddie. Here's your sandwich, General. Chopped egg on week. You forgot the pickle. Oh, yes, sir. Sorry. And not only that, Julie, but a girl's got to... Julie, Julie, look. Where? The magazine counter. Oh, he's cute. He's looking at a magazine. Yeah, well, relax, honey. The magazine he's looking at is better babies. Well, maybe he's just interested in his future. Don't be silly. No bachelor ever looks at a baby magazine. I guess you're right, Julie. Excuse me. Where are you going? Oh, nowhere, just at the magazine counter. May I help you, sir? I'm looking for an infant's where. Well, that's straight ahead into your life. Well, hello. Huh? You don't remember me, do you? Huh? The girl in the drugstore yesterday. Uh, uh... The magazine. Oh, yes, yes, of course. Strange, our both wanting better babies. Uh, yes, yes, sir. Well, don't you want to be waited on? I work here. Oh, well, hello. I'd like to see some booties. Booties? Yes, good warm ones. The tie-on kind. I want something serviceable. Are the booties for your nephew or something? Oh, no. No, there's a kind you advertise. I believe you call them winky woollies. Oh, yes. Yes, we do. These are the winky woollies. Good. Well, I'll take 14 pairs. 14? My goodness. Nine pink, five blue. I'd like them sent to Miss Hazel. Miss Hazel? Yes. Miss Hazel Wildbrand at the Fernwood Children's Home. Oh, Children's Home. Well, how perfectly sweet. Why, that explains everything. It does? Well, I'm glad. Charging to me, if you will. I'm Doctor... Doctor? Yes. Dr. Madison Brown, 710 North Rexford Drive. Oh, I think that's just wonderful. I mean about your being a doctor and curing people and us meeting again like this and everything. No, it's a small world, isn't it? Isn't it, though? And especially in April. What's April got to do... Never mind, never mind. And thank you for everything. When you come in again, I'm always here. I must remember that. Miss Attabelle Sims, that's my name, and we have darling things, since you like babies so much. As a matter of fact, I don't like them at all. I think they're noisy little nuisance. It's quarter past six, Mary. I've been up to my knees in tiny tops all day. I'm going home. Sorry, but there's another patient, Doctor. She telephoned you. You rushed right over. Why didn't you tell her... It's the only time she could get here. But I've got a dinner date with Carolyn Davis at 7 o'clock. Well, you'll be late. Oh, my. Why didn't I become a night watchman or a flag post-sitter or somebody with regular hours instead of a baby doctor? You're a pediatrician and one of the best in town. If I say so myself. Well, reach in that bottom drawer, mark bills, and help yourself to a thousand dollars. And look, Mary, the next time that... Oh, good afternoon. Good evening. I'm sorry, but I just couldn't get here any sooner. And I wouldn't dream of seeing anybody but you. You wouldn't? Why? Who sent you? Well, I know it at all. But you're the only doctor. I know really well. Oh, when did all this take place? My goodness, don't you remember? Winky Wallies. Oh, yes, yes. How could I ever forget you? Well, thank you. Step into my office. Take a chair. Now, let's begin at the beginning, shall we? Suppose we have the little patient's name. Annabelle. A-N-A-B-E-L. Uh-huh. Last name? Sims. Hmm. Sex. Female. Well, of course, I haven't said. Now, uh, tell me, exactly what have you observed? Well, I guess you might call him insomnia. Have you any idea what causes this? What you guess I might call insomnia? I don't know. It might be emotional. Kind of improbable. Have you noticed any breaking out? Rashes, chasers? No, no, no. Nothing at all. Not a mark. Anyplace. Oh, that's good. Yes, isn't it? Digestion? Oh, excellent. Practically starving right at this moment. Cry a lot? Oh, once in a while. Well, Mrs. Sims, if you'd bring little Annabelle in... Missy Sims, and who in the world is little Annabelle? Well, I just naturally... But I told you distinctly in the store, Miss Sims, what kind of a doctor are you anyway, going around forgetting people, presuming they're married? But what about the baby? What baby? Oh, soon all of a sudden I've got a baby. Ha, ha, ha. Well, naturally I... And there's nothing funny about it either. Well, I'm afraid you've made a mistake coming here, Miss Sims. You see, I'm a pediatrician. What? A baby doctor. Yes? Oh, well, that's more wonderful than ever. I just love babies. You do? Well, I hope you have some of your own one day. Oh, I'm going to. Just as soon as I'm married. Oh, if I'd only noticed when I came in, all those baby photographs on your wall. Who's that wonderful child? That one? That's Mrs. Willoughby's little Mary Nell. And these are her teeth marks here on my hand, you see. Well, I suppose I'd better be going. I guess doctors are pretty busy in the evening, going to clinics and calling on patients and things. Yes. But they do have a free evening once in a while. Oh, yes. About that emotional insomnia of yours, I recommend a little less romantic imagination and a little more sleep. Oh, but I never... Good evening, Miss Sims. Goodbye, Dr. Brown. Anything else, doctor? Yes, you can put back that thousand dollars. Just me, Annie. Oh, well, come in, Julie, I guess. How's the movie? Oh, fine. How about coming up to my room for a cup of tea? I don't see how I can. I'm very busy. Oh, you're still working on that report? If you think Mr. Sanford's going to give you a raise. Oh, this is for the store. Oh, it isn't? It's just some notes I've been making. It's rather personal. Interesting facts about Dr. Madison Brown. Uh, yes. Dr. Brown's birthplace, Dr. Brown's college, sports, hobbies. What are you writing anyway? It's all part of the plan I told you about. Annabelle, you mean you're deliberately trying to trap him? Well, I know it's dreadful, Julie, but this is just the sort of thing that men force us to do. Anyway, it's all for his own good. The way he is now is perfectly miserable. How do you know? He only thinks he's happy. How could he be? A bachelor? All alone in the world? And you should see how he lives. He's nothing but a creature of habit. Oh, I've made it a point to find out things. For instance, look at these menus. Menus? A different restaurant for each night of the week. Week after week. No home cooking. What are these red pencil mines? Things you like to eat, of course. Clear turtle soup. Steak with mushroom. Oh, Julie, isn't he wonderful? Oh, sensational. Socks, 11 and a half. Collar, 16. Sleep length, 35. Annabelle, have you gone crazy while? I'll bet you even know what color of shorts he wears. Blue. Oh, Annabelle. Now, honestly, I agree. Well, it took me 10 days worth of lunch hours and nights to dig up all this. And what good is it going to do you? You'll see. Now, every Tuesday night he has dinner all alone at Pierre's. Oh, I'll tell you one thing. I'm not going to make a dope of myself again like I did that day in his office. He sent me a bill for $10. Huh. Probably that old nurse. And anyway, it set my plan back for two weeks. And do you know what he thinks? He thinks I'm after him. I wonder what gave him an idea like that. I'll tell you what he needs, Julie. Competition. He's got to think I've got somebody else interested in me. What about your boyfriend from Greenville? Old Joe. A caterpillar wouldn't be jealous of Old Joe. Oh, hello? Oh, yes. Put him on. Old Joe? Yes, Pierre. Yes. Oh, this is Mr. Roger Sanford's private sex repair. You can't do this. Shut up. I called before, but you were out. Oh, yes. May we cert him off? Tuesday night at eight, Mr. Sanford's regular table. Champagne? Oh, yes. Peeper. I mean Piper Hyde Dick. 1933. Oh, and Pierre. You might tell the orchestra soft and romantic music. Oh, exact them all. Merci, merci. Au revoir. Julie, I've got to have $25. What? My goodness, I'll pay you back. Do you know how they rob you of Pierre's champagne and everything? Something may go wrong. Now I have to pay for my own dinner. Oh, look, it's none of my business. Oh, and how do you think I'd look in the Bonnet original? The one with the blue net and the silver star? You mean XB247? Why, that dress cost $289.50. Julie, I'm not going to buy it. You're the funniest idea sometimes. We're just going to borrow it from the stall for one night. Well, in two minutes, you've gone all the way from impersonation to grand larceny. Well, you can get 20 years for things like that. Oh, cool. 20 years just because I love somebody? Just wait till Tuesday night, Julie. There I'll be at Pierre's. Pretending you're waiting for Mr. Sam. Well, naturally. Such things just don't happen. Not unless you make them happen. Not unless you plan them. Well, how do you think generalizing how it would night like? Happy D-Day. Well, hello. Miss Sims, isn't it? Oh? I've been sitting over there at my table trying to figure out where I've seen you before. Oh, no, really? Really. Well, then suddenly I remembered, and you don't seem to remember me. Should I? Yeah, the pediatrician to unmarried ladies. Dr. Brown, of course. How could I ever forget you? Oh, that's an ordinary face. Been wearing it for years. Do you mind if I sit down? Well, I suppose it'll be all right, even though I'm expecting my date at any moment. You could tell him I'm treating your emotional insomnia. Would you like some people? Piper Hyde 6, 1933. Thank you. My favorite wine. Is it? What a coincidence. Do you die here often, Dr. Brown? Oh, yes, regularly. I'm quite a creature of habit, you know. You are? Well, my fiancee and I, I mean, he's almost my fiancee. We have dinner here together every Wednesday, except tonight he asked me to meet him because he had such a terribly important engagement with the governor, I think. I have news for you. It's not Wednesday. What? It's Tuesday. Oh, now just because I got mixed up about you being a baby, doctor doesn't mean I can't tell the day of the week, but... Oh, no. Oh, yes. Of course it's Tuesday. And I know exactly how it happened. You see, I always have my class in home economics in preparation for motherhood on Tuesday. This week they changed it to Monday, which naturally made me think that today was Wednesday, you see. In a roundabout sort of way. This date of yours, who is he? You mean, who is he? Yes, who is he? Well, I really don't think I ought to say. You see, he's so well-known in glamorous, and it's also sort of confidential, he's family, you know. Of course. But I thought just between such old friends, you might want to tell me anyway. Well, I do want to. Go ahead, then. Well, first I ought to tell you how it all started. You see, every girl should be married, which is something you probably already know. Anyway, my mother and father want me to marry old Joe in Greenville. His name is really Joe, and he's not old just 26, but every time he calls up on the telephone, he says, this is old Joe, and that just about describes him. What's the matter? My ears are out of breath. Well, anyway, no girl can marry a man she's been in love with for 15 years. Of course not. So you came to the city and found this important mystery. Oh, I hope you won't be crude enough to think that I'm just dazzled by all these wealth and social positions, or how many girls are trying to take him away from me. Well, I know one man who fits your description. Oh, you do? Roger Sanford. Roger Sanford. It all seems to add up, Miss Sin. All that glamour and everything. Besides, I happen to hear Pierre say this was Roger Sanford's table. Oh, well, now that you've guessed our secrets, you must promise not to tell a soul, and especially him. He's so funny about these things. Well, that leaves only one thing that I don't understand, Miss Sin. Since you're so interested in this wonderful, confidential Roger Sanford, why have you been chasing after me for the past two weeks? You? Really, Dr. Brown? I've heard of conceit in my time, but you absolutely take the cake. And you'll know just how many candles go on it. And just what do you mean by that, Ramon? Well, you've found out about everything else about me, and so I'm told by my father and my haberdasher, my laundry, and everybody up to last year's girlfriends. Oh, well, to tell you the truth, it was all kind of a plan. You see, I was after you, but I wasn't after you. I was only after you because I was really after him. You understand? No, but don't let that stop you. You see, Roger thinks of me as kind of beautiful and intelligent. Fun to be with. But I have an intuitive feeling you won't get marriage on his mind unless you leave convinced that if he doesn't do it, somebody else will. Hmm. Actually, Dr. Brown, all I really yearn for is to be a wonderful wife and mother and have a darling little home somewhere like Sycamore Lane. That's that new real estate development. I'll be hanged. Oh, it's a matter, don't you believe me? I'm afraid I didn't, but I'm certainly beginning to believe you now. You are? Isn't that the glamorous Roger Sanford just coming in? Well, of course. Oh, my goodness. Oh, you better go before he makes a big scene. Now hurry. I'm afraid it's too late. Hello, Sanford. Well, hello. I was just keeping your charming little friend company for a few minutes. And to be perfectly frank, I'm sorry you showed up at all. Eh. Oh, well. Well, well, that's quite understandable. How are you, darling? Miss me? Ah. Oh. Well, thanks a lot, Brown. See you around sometime. Nice seeing you, Miss Sim. Well, now, isn't this cozy? Miss, uh, Sim? Oh, well. Whoever thought they'd see you here tonight, Mr. Sanford. Apparently you did. Oh, no, I didn't. And if you have a date, I'm not... No, no, no. No, the only date I have now is with you. Heh. I know you, don't I? Oh, it's the use. I work in your store, Mr. Sanford. I'm Annabelle Sims and Infants Ware. And I'm in the most desperate trouble in all my life. Oh, no, no. Annabelle, suppose those you tell Roger all about it. But you don't know what terrible things I've done. I've used your name. I pretended there was a wild love affair going on between us. Really? How am I doing? Oh, just fine, I guess. Now that I'm flattered. Well, this is even your dress. I borrowed it, Model XB247. Oh, it's charming. Oh, you mean you're not going to put me in jail? Well, that all depends, my dear. Now, suppose you start filling in all the details. Oh. It's an intuitive feeling that Dr. Brown wouldn't get marriage on his mind until he's convinced that if he doesn't do it, somebody else will. Very shrewd, little girl. Very shrewd. This is the most original approach I- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Mr. Sanford. You've got the whole thing wrong. I'm not after you. Oh, well, now, suppose we just slip out of here, huh? You mean we're going someplace else? Oh, this is much too public. We'll take a little drive out in the country and wind up in my place. Little supper together, a chance to really talk things over. What things? Oh, things like why a smart little girl like you should never have a better job in the store. Oh, but I'm very happy with- Head of a department, maybe. Private office, secretary. How would you like that? Oh, just fine, I guess. Oh, good night, Dr. Brown. Good night, Brown. Bye now. Hmm. I don't get it, Pierre. A very rich man, Dr. Brown. May I bring you something else, PC? Yeah. Peeper hide-sick, 1933. In a few moments, we'll continue with the second act of every girl should be married. The American military heritage began even before America. The famous British general, Oliver Cromwell, developed the new model army in 1645. It was a plan that revolutionized England's army. A plan that called for the use of new tactics, the total reorganization of forces, and a realignment of command responsibilities. The commander in chief of the new model army was called the Captain General. The second in command was Cromwell himself, as commander of the cavalry his title was Lieutenant General. Next was ranked the commander of the infantry, the Sergeant Major General. In the 300 and some years since Britain's new model army was raised, the U.S. service branches have dropped the sergeant in front of Major General. That's why today a Lieutenant General ranks a Major General. The legacy of Oliver Cromwell's plan, devised long before the first American armed forces were organized, is a part of our military heritage. And now, here again, is your host. Act two of every girl should be married, starring Cary Grant and Betsy Drake. It's the following day, and Annabelle Simms and her girlfriend Julie are no longer clerks in Sanford's department store. There's been a sudden demotion to the wrapping department. But now on their lunch hour, Annabelle reflects a decided air of optimism. Besides $5 a week, Julie will have the dress paid for in only 17 more weeks. Personally, I think it was their generous Mr. Sanford to let us have the dress at wholesale. When you consider our heart, I hit him last night with that fireplace shovel. Annabelle, there are a couple of things you've simply got to learn. You never hit a man who has over $10,000, and if you're wearing a dress that isn't paid for yet, don't make your getaway over a picket fan. And not only that, I'm going to... Annabelle, look! Down the block, yes. There's Mr. Sanford. And coming this way. Let's cross the street, I'd die of idea. Look, he's across the street, Madison. Dr. Madison, wow! So what? He can't have us arrested, but Mr. Sanford still can. Wait, I've got a simply wonderful idea. Julie, you better go right back to the store. What are you going to do? I'll tell you later and believe me, Julie, it's fate. Me that after what you did to me with that shovel last night... What would be lovely, Roger? It's such a gay party. What are you talking about? Stop hanging on to me. I'll explain everything later, Mr. Sanford. Smile at me, please. And, Sims, I've had just about enough of your nonsense, and unless you... He's right across the street. Dr. Brown, he's looking at you. Well, so are about 300 other people, and I... But Dr. Brown must know all the terrible things you've done just over nothing and how unfriendly you are. You know, it scarcely describes my feelings. You're lucky you're not in jail. Oh, I know, I know. Yes, well, at least you have the grace to admit how foolish you were. Mr. Sanford, will you do me a favor? Will you please kiss me? I mean, right now I make it look real, will you? Well, I what? Miss Sims... Thank you, Mr. Sanford. That was very cooperative of you. Last night a whack on the head and now a big fat kiss. Miss Sims, you're somewhat unpredictable. She was, Mr. Sanford. I hope you aren't too mad at me. Yeah, well, I don't know whether I am or not. You know, perhaps you and I are going to be... Oh, yes, Mr. Sanford. Goodbye and thank you very much. Hey, hey, Miss Sims! Hey! Hey, walking. Why, Dr. Brown? I never expected to see you again in 20 million years. How's love these days, Miss Sims? Well, I don't know yet. You seem to be doing just fine across the street there. Oh, that. That's only because Mr. Sanford thinks I might be interested in you. Well, then your little plan is working. Glad I was useful. Just imagine how interested he could become, Missy. Happen to see you and me sort of together a little more? I'd like to accommodate you, Miss Sims, but actually I'm in another line of work. Hey, right now I'm going to have lunch at the athletic club. I always do on Wednesday, you know. But you ought to try big speeds. It's just down the street. And they're that wonderful carried shrimp that everybody simply raves about. Is that so? Yes, and it's only 65 cents. Well, that's certainly reasonable. Isn't it, though, and the place is so nice. Well, thank you for the tip, Miss Sims. I must try that sometimes. Roger, that is the head of a great department store, a civic institution. The least you could do... Would you mind telling me just what it is I've done? You haven't seen the newspaper. No, I haven't seen the newspaper. Well, then here, look, a big picture of you and a girl from the wrapping department kissing in the middle of her lunch hour. Multimillionaire Roger Sanford and salesgirl Annabelle Sims celebrate first day of spring on Busy Downtown Tour Affair. Do we hear wedding bells? As your attorney, I demand to know how this got into the newspaper. How do I know? Probably one of those sidewalk patis. Annabelle Sims. Newspapers live for a story like this. Before they're through with you, they'll boil you in oil. Sorry, Mr. Sanford, but is it Miss Sims who insists on coming into your office? Send her in. There's a certain little somebody who'll get boiled in oil before I do. Mr. Roger Sanford, I want to have a little talk with you. How dare you have a thing like this published? Why, you little blackmailer, you framed this all yourself. Not even my first wife would have pulled such an obvious trick. Is that so? You think every girl in town's after you just because you've got a big desk and a million dollars? Five million. I don't care. It's somebody else I want. I told you that. What does Dr. Brown think when he sees it? Dr. Brown? Yes, she keeps pretending I've got a rival. Now, look, Miss Sims, I'll give you exactly five minutes to clear out of this store. And believe me, you're getting off easy. Well, don't you worry. I wouldn't work here not even if you raised me five dollars a week, so goodbye. No, no, no. Let's not be too hasty, Miss Sims. I think we can straighten out the whole affair. We can what? Use your head. What do you think that newspaper's going to do to you if you start acting like a wolf who makes love to nice little girls and then kicks them out of the store? Why, when they're finished with you, you won't have any store. What do you expect me to do? Marry her? What? Well, that might not be too bad. Would certainly be bad enough. After all, nice eyes, pretty nose, cute little figure. Why don't you open my mouth and examine my teeth? No, no, no. And I've changed my mind. I'm not going to quit. Why should I be out of a job if I were going to fire anybody around here, Mr. Roger Sanford? It'd be you. Quite a girl, Sam. Quite a girl. Yeah, she sure is. You know, if she keeps this up, she might get me yet. Oh, now look, Annabella, I don't mind giving up my Sunday afternoon and coming way out here to Sycamore Lane to look at honeymoon cottages. I can dream too, but will you please stop saying that this is your house? Well, if you won't listen to me, Julie. It's a model home. Anybody can come in here and look around, and if you don't, I'll lock that front door. You just don't understand, do you? I understand that all this newspaper publicity about you and Mr. Sanford is affecting your brain, and I use the word Loopsley. That publicity, wasn't it awful? Heaven knows who Dr. Brown must have thought. But you know something about being a girl, Julie. You can just never give up. You have to take every single little defeat and twist it around and around until it turns into a great big victory. All right, Annabelle, say it. Well, do you remember Alice Bleakin? Well, the real estate fellow she goes around with says the company wants to build about 50 more houses here in Sycamore Lane. They do, huh? Uh-huh. And somebody gave them the idea that if somebody could have a little talk with Roger Sanford at the right moment and maybe suggest that he put up the money. Annabelle, well, I can't help it if they begged me to live here in this simply dreamy model home. All furnished and everything, can I? Anyway, I've only got it for a month so far. You mean you've gone to Mr. Sanford and... Still be silly after all. I'm not unethical. I've done a single thing that isn't legitimate for a girl. My goodness, if you don't use your imagination, you'll just wind up marry Daniel, buddy. Oh, Julie, isn't this a wonderful house? Oh, I'm going to put flowers everywhere. Gladiolus. He just loves them. And who are you going to hire to drag Dr. Madison Brown out here to smell them? Don't worry, Julie. He'll come out. Now, let's see. The first thing tomorrow, I've got to get hold of his barber. That man is the athletic club and the girl is the cigarette counter. Hey, Julie, you've got about six dollars. Just six dollars. Don't you see? I've got to get them talking to Dr. Brown on the right topic. I think the two dollars each, they'd be very happy to have you. Dr. Brown, I didn't know you ever ate in the drugstore. Well, ordinarily I don't miss Sims, but today I thought I'd make it a special occasion. Well, I just know this lady here will be a darling and move down a seat. Move down? Thank you. You know, Dr. Brown, this is where we first met. Yeah. Well, perhaps they should put a little bronze plaque in front of us. Oh, Eddie, I'll have my regular Friday. You know what? You see, I'm a creature of habit like you are, and there's nothing I like to... Why don't you make your regular Friday, you know what? Just tell me what you want to eat. Oh, for goodness' sakes, Eddie, just bring me a Coke. A Coke? Well, Dr., there's certainly been a lot of excitement since I saw you last. I suppose you heard about it. Yes. You and Roger Sanford. You're becoming somewhat of a celebrity. Well, I certainly don't know why people are making such a fuss. You know, there's nothing to it. Of course, Roger can't do enough for me, but what I mean is, there's nothing really set. Is that so? Of course not. You see, Roger just grabbed me and kissed me right out there on the seat. Well, I was simply flabbergasted. But that's what started everybody talking. Marriage is a very serious thing. A girl might even change her mind when she meets somebody else. Don't you think so, Dr. Brown? Yes. As a matter of fact, that's quite a coincidence. My barber talked about the very same thing only this morning, almost word for word. And the girl at the cigarette counter. Let me see now. Where else did I hear it? Oh, yes, the masseur, the athletic club. Believe me, he was very good. He couldn't have done a better job if you rehearsed him twice as much. Here, I'll take your check. Goodbye, Mrs. Oh. What's the matter with him? Why, nothing. Nothing at all. He's a celebrated pediatrician, you know, probably an emergency call. Oh, I hope he isn't tied up for hours. Why? Why? Well, my goodness, he's giving a lecture tonight. The parents' responsibility towards the child. Naturally, I'm going to attend. Yeah. And bring your parents. Be seeing you on a belt. Well, there's an instinctive wisdom in most mothers with transcends all the signs of doctors. And therefore, I gladly leave the final judgment in your very capable hand. Thank you. I'm sure, fellow mothers, that I speak for all of us in expressing our gratitude, Dr. Brown, for his most inspiring lecture. Now, for our question and answer period, if you'll just raise your hands, ladies. Just raise your hands. No questions. I must be better than I thought. Well, in that event, I think we could just close the meeting. I'll just ask you one little question, Dr. Brown. Oh, the young lady on the aisle, Dr. Brown. Oh, my goodness. How does she get in here? I think the healthiest and best all-round babies are the result of the happiest marriages. Yes, I do. And thank you very much. Anybody else? Wait! Wait! I'm not through yet. And don't you think there'd be more of these happy marriages if some men didn't hang on to what they call their precious freedom so long that they closed their eyes to everything else? Maybe they'd let go. Maybe they'd find they might be in love with somebody. Somebody would make them a wonderful wife and mother. Young lady, frankly, I don't quite know what you're talking about. You do, too. Oh, my goodness. Well, in any case, I don't see what it has to do with the subject under discussion. It's got everything to do with it. Why, where would parents come from if every man made a lot of excuses and alibis? Just so he could go on living in a dumpy little apartment full of moose heads and stuffed fish instead of accepting his responsibilities and having a nice little home someplace? My dear young lady, this is not a symposium of advice to the love-lord. Well, you ask for questions. All right, then. Now, as far as I can analyze your difficulty, madam, you're objecting to a man's age-old privilege of selecting his own mate. According to you, all a man should do is fold his hands and wait until some female comes along and decides to marry him. That about sizes it up, doctor. And who made that crazy rule that a man can just see a girl he likes and right away ask her for a date? But a girl can't ever ask a man no matter how wonderful she thinks he is. She can't say, where'd you get those big brown eyes and let's go bowling Thursdays. And who made that rule? Man, that's the rule! Bravo! Thank you. My dear young lady, there is such a thing as dignity and modesty and decorum. Oh, poo. Why, if we women waited for you men to ask us voluntarily, we wouldn't have any marriages. And there wouldn't be any babies. And you'd be out of a job. Well, this may be quite amusing, but I can assure you that your absurd viewpoint is not substantiated by the fact. Is that so? Well, I like all the women in this room who admit that they had to deliberately go out and trap their husband without the men even knowing what hit them to please stand up. There's your answer, Dr. Brown. This... This is the most blatant display of foolishness it's ever been my misfortune to witness. And if some of you ladies are examples of the modern mother, all I can say is heaven helped the coming generation. Oh, now don't be upset, doctor. Women have found it necessary to use subterfuge in their own feminine devices for centuries. We just never thought it quite a good idea to tell you men about it. Really? Well, good night. Well, I guess we told him a thing or two. Ready for the next patient, Dr. Brown? Oh, yes. Mrs. Willoughby, huh? Mrs. Ford. Well, what happened to Mrs. Willoughby? She cancelled. There have been several cancellations lately. Uh-uh. What are you getting at? Simply that you can't gow and scream at a bunch of mothers and expect them to like it. Oh, that's nonsense. I just lost my temper for a moment, just like any other human being. And I certainly didn't yowl and scream. Well, anyway, I don't think a doctor can afford to lose his patience without losing his patience. Oh, that's very bright. I've got a comic nurse. That winky wooly sins. Even a few mothers who have been here today have lectured me about the joys of wedding bliss until I'm nauseated. I'm a villain just because I have a natural, intelligent desire to choose my own wife. Well, I think Miss Sims is kind of cute. I'll say she's cute. I'm not safe anyplace. I go to lunch. I run into her. Hello, Dr. Brown! Whoa! Thank you for bumping into you. I have some courage shrimp. Oh, my goodness! I can't even buy a necktie. Can't go anywhere. Can't get a shave without a sales talk. I'm in love. She's talked to everybody I know. The only place I'm safe is in the Turkish bath. And I'm not so sure about that. Maybe we could put on beards and leave town. Well, like your other remark, that's not funny. Now, tell Mrs. Forge I'll be with her in a moment. I'm going to take care of this little situation right now. Oh, where's the telephone book? That wouldn't help. She's moved to Sycamore Lane. Here. Here's her new phone number. Mary, tell me something. How in the world did Eve ever get Adam when she had no other woman to help her with the subtle little touches? Be gentle, will you? I have a feeling she bruises easily. Yeah, I'd like to bruise. Hello? Oh, Miss Sims? This is Dr. Brown. Been a long time. Oh, has it? Anyway, there's something important I have to say to you, Miss Sims. Now, I was wondering if we could have dinner together this evening. Oh, anyway. Pierre, is it all right if it's all right with you? But, well, no, I don't think you ought to go to all that trouble. Oh, well, if you'd much rather, what's the address? 27 Sycamore Lane. All right, fine. I'll be there. That was Dr. Brown. He's coming here to dinner tonight. And I'd have met the $25 you owe me that you'd never even see him again. You just don't understand, man. I knew he'd go on thinking when I said at the lecture about being a bachelor and lonely and everything. He said he had something very important to tell me. He's going to propose, Julie. Oh, my goodness. I just know he's going to propose. Standards of conduct. They're more than just rules. They're a measure of yourself and your organization. They ensure fairness up and down the line. Protect the resources you need for your mission and help you know where you stand. If you have a question about ethics, fairness, or standards of conduct within the military, see your legal office. In the United States Armed Forces, professional ethics are among our most valued resources. And now your host, Frank Brezee, returns to the microphone. At three of every girls should be married, starring Kerry Grant and Betsy Drake. It's a few hours before dinner time, and at 27 Sycamore Lane, Annabel Sims is preparing for the arrival of Dr. Madison Brown. Judging from her state of agitation, Annabel's going to need a doctor. Oh, Julie, you've just got to help me. You've just got to. My goodness, there's so many things I've got to buy. Turtle soup and gladiolas and steak and mushroom and tossed salad. Oh, and martinis with a small onion. A waiter at Pierre's told me you won't drink them any other way. Oh, small onions, by all means. You know there's nothing like delicious home cooked food to make a man not want to be a bachelor anymore. Home cooked food, my eye. It's all those little trimmings you're counting on like that snug little dress of yours and like when you serve the turtle soup you accidentally let your hair brush up against his cheek. Why, Julie, how are you? Of course, I don't want to put any ideas in your head. Well, if you can think of any I've missed. Look, I have two hours to devote to the cause. Oh, Julie, you're just about the best friend. Oh, look, I bet you never even noticed this, did you? What is it? It's a little shelf that slides out from the wall. See? It's for passing cocktails and things. Besides, look how beautifully you're framed. Annabelle, that's one word you should never utter, not even to yourself. Oh, you. Charming, Annabelle. Very, very charming. Cocktail, Dr. Brown. They're martinis with a small onion. That's the one way I like them. Really? No, why don't you sit here in this nice big comfortable chair? Oh, thanks. Thanks. You must have gone to a great deal of trouble, Annabelle. Trouble? Well, I've never been happier in my life. I hope you're going to like what we're having for dinner. Smells wonderful. Oh, I'm not really a good cook yet. Just clear turtle soup, steak, mayonnaise with mushroom sauce, asparagus, hollandaise, sauce, salad, and banana cream pie. Oh, and lion eggs, potatoes. Good grief. What will we have if you really could cook? Well, my mother did teach me a few little things. Seems to me your mother taught you a great many things. And one of them is what I want to talk to you about, Annabelle. Oh, dear. Oh, hello. One moment, please. It's for you. I'll turn off the radio. Me? Oh, thank you. Hello? Oh, yes, Mrs. Willoughby. Well, I'm glad we're friends again. Hmm? Oh, no, no. Give her the pink pills and a teaspoon full of the red medicine in a glass of lukewarm water every hour. Then every other hour, the blue medicine. No, in a little orange juice. Fine. Oh, I will. Goodbye. Good gracious. How can she remember all that? Just between the two of us, it doesn't matter. It's all sugar water. Why, Madison? Well, I don't usually do such things, but Mrs. Willoughby has given to excessive worry. And if I keep her occupied with the medicines, she has less time to worry about poor little Mary Nel. Oh, how very clever. You know, I know something about you that may surprise you. I don't think so, but what is it? I think you're just as crazy about baby's desire. Well, I do seem to have quite a future, don't I? Well, is it true that what happens to you when you're a tiny baby can affect your entire life? Certainly it's true. And I'd like to bet that when you were born, you took your teething ring and tried to put it on the third finger left hand of the defenseless baby boy in the next fascinette. Oh, you only say that because of my plan to marry Roger Sanford. Yeah, what about that? Madison. Why, I don't think you know anything about women. Why, a girl with the best intentions in the world can change your mind. If the right man comes along, whoever he may be, why, for all you know, I might even go back home and marry old Joe. Annabelle, marriage isn't something you can force. You've just got to wait for it to happen. You certainly do. Why anybody wants to live a lonely life all alone in a hotel room or even in an apartment for that matter is a mystery to me. Don't you think so? Well, I'll tell you what I actually do think, Annabelle. Now, I don't quite know how I'm going to go about telling you this and I want to be as much on the level with you as I know how to be. Oh, but you're hardly. Yeah, just a second, just a second. Hear me out and please don't try to twist my words around to suit yourself. I'm not in love, Annabelle, and I have no intention of getting married. And I think you're far too fine a person to persist in these silly schoolgirl maneuvers of yours. It'll only mean you'll get hurt and I don't want that to happen. Well, well, I'm sure I don't know what brought this on. So maybe what you should do, Annabelle, is to go back home and marry old Joe, maybe, huh? Old Joe? Well, thank you very much. Everyone in town knows that I'm practically engaged to Roger Sanford. He's just begging me to marry him. In a way, I don't suppose I should be having dinner with you at all. Well, then, uh, then I guess I'm the one who made it full of himself and I'm sorry. Well, you ought to be. My goodness, I didn't know what's wrong with all the men in this town. If you so much as look at one of them and try to feed him a little clear turtle soup, he thinks you ought to marry him. If you want to know what I think, I think you ought to go home. Oh, oh, now please, Annabelle, there's no reason why we can't be sensible and have dinner and be friends. There is, too. Well, as a matter of fact, I like you very much and I certainly admire your ingenuity and determination. Well, you can just keep your ingenuity and determination in all your big words. Well, I spent all I'd left of two weeks salary-fixing dinner for you. I'll be eating and being rich for weeks. And then you come here and accuse me of trying to trap you like you were a gopher. Only you're worse than any gopher I've ever seen. I'm sorry. You can just find that old hat you wear and get out of here. Annabelle, I'm sorry. Go on, go on, just get out of here. I don't want you anymore. I'm sorry I have even heard of you. Well, good night, Annabelle. The wrapping department said you wanted to see me, Mr. Sanford. Annabelle! Well, yes, I certainly do. Come on in. I suppose you're going to fire me. My goodness, I can't say that I blame you. Hire you, but why? I sent for you because I understand you've been doing a lot of crying lately. Oh, that Julie. She can't keep her mouth shut about anything. Madison Brown, huh? You know, for some peculiar reason, maybe Madison Brown likes being a bachelor. Well, then he can stay a bachelor forever and ever. Now take me, I'm a cinch. I like marriage. If you and I could get better acquainted, who knows where it might lead? Well, Mr. Sanford. Roger. Well, Roger, in spite of all I've been through with men, I don't think I should be bitter, and especially with you. You've been very nice about everything, but I told you once how I felt about you and I haven't changed. Well, couldn't we have dinner together, sort of talk it over? Well... Actually, I'm far more interested in a home than a family than the Gossips imagine I am. Well, I suppose we could have dinner at my house. I guess it's your house. Well, anyway, the house I'm probably going to get kicked out of any minute now. Well, let's not tell the real estate people the truth until after we've had dessert, huh? Oh, then you know I happen to be living... At 27 Sycamore Lane. Yes, Annabelle, I know. Oh. Shall we say eight o'clock? Yeah. Why don't we say eight o'clock? All right, then. Eight o'clock. Julie Howard, Dr. Brown, I'm a friend of Annabelle Simms and that's why I came to your apartment and you're going to listen to me if I have... All right, what's she done now, Miss Howard? You sound desperate. It's what you've done. Throwing Annabelle straight into Roger Sanford's arms, that's what. And if anything happens to her, there'll be nobody to blame but you. Well, frankly, I don't quite see that. She's a girl on the rebound. A little smooth talk from Roger Sanford and she's sunk. But she's not four years old. I don't see how I can suddenly appoint myself her guardian. Look, they're having dinner tonight and you know Roger Sanford. I said to her, you know Annabelle that he just likes to play around? And what do you think she said? She said, so what if he does? Who cares? Oh, don't you see? It's her pride. Well, I gave her what I thought was good advice to go back home and marry old Joe. But it's tonight, I'm worried about. Uh, look, did Annabelle put you up to come here to see me? Well, I just hope you're not that suspicious of the babies you take care of. Well, Annabelle's extremely creative to say the least. Dr. Brown, they're having dinner at eight. Who knows what by nine? Sorry, I've got an engagement tonight. Very well, Dr. Brown. Good evening. Uh, just a minute. You, uh, remember this. Tell her that's not a moose head there on the wall. It's an elk. Dr. Brown, and would you mind telling me what you're doing here at Annabelle? Where is she, Samford? Where is Annabelle? She's out shopping. We're going to have a little dinner party here. Alone. Oh, you are. Well, I've heard what your dates for dinner are like. Now, where is she? Oh, you don't believe me, huh? Well, uh, maybe this note will convince you. She left it on the door. Says Roger Deere. Says right there. Roger Deere, make yourself at home. I'm out shopping. We'll be back soon. Okay. I'm staying. Now, look, a gentleman usually knows when he's not wanted. And it seems to me this has been made quite clear to you. There's something I'd like to make quite clear to you. I have no romantic interest in Annabelle Sims. I don't care who she goes around with just as long as it isn't you. My dear Brown, I resent your setting yourself up as a moral arbiter of this town. You know me better than that. On the other hand, I know you pretty well. I haven't heard you say one word about your intentions. Does Annabelle know how many times you've been married? Of course. We have no secrets from each other. Annie and I. And you can take your big hand out of your dirbs. I am not moving a corpuscle until Annabelle gets back. You know, I've got news for you. I'm thinking of making Annabelle Mrs. Roger Sanford. Oh, that would be just ducky. And what would she do for diversion? Shuffle your marriage licenses? Now, that's just rude. I don't like rude. Unless you get out of here, I may be forced to throw you out. Oh, well, as a physician, I naturally dislike violence, however, since you're foolish enough to insist. Darling, darling, you're back. Oh, I'm afraid, sir, you've made a mistake. And our gather from your impetuous greeting that Annabelle isn't here. Joe, oh, Joe, it couldn't be anybody else. I'm delighted to see you, Joe. Oh, Dr. Madison Brown. Well, I'd know you anywhere, sir. And you, sir, for Miss Annabelle's description must be Mr. Sanford, the one with all the money. Would you mind telling me who you are? Oh, oh, she didn't tell you I was in town. Oh, it's just like little old Annabelle. Well, you couldn't have come at a better time, Joe. It's Providence, that's what it is. Oh, I'm more inclined to think of Annabelle. Telephoneing me the good news. What good news? Oh, I keep forgetting she didn't tell you. Well, I'm taking Annabelle away from both of you. Imagine a little old Joe beating your time. Well, I swear, she didn't take my advice. Well, well, well. Congratulations, old Joe. Would somebody mind telling me who this is, old Joe? From Greenville. So? The wedding Sunday. Well, Sanford, I guess we're both out of the running. And it looks to me as if the best man won. If she'd just get here, perhaps I'd have some idea of what this nonsense is all about. Oh, Annabelle and me have been sort of sweethearts ever since we were so high. Through the years, I just kept hoping and hoping. And when she telephoned me, well, Mr. Sanford, I'd tell you my little old heart nearly burst. Annabelle? Why, honey bun, you made little old Joe the happiest man in the world. We're going to have the biggest wedding ever Greenville's ever seen. Roger? And Dr. Brown? Yes. Yes. Oh, I'm sorry about dinner and everything, Roger. You've always been wonderful to me. Never pushed me around like some people I could mention. But you've had so many wives that I'm sure you can find another one. Yes, well, I must say this is the most astonishing dinner party I've ever attended. But anyway, I wish you luck. Thank you, Roger, dear. I knew you'd be fine about it. And you too, old Joe. I guess maybe the best man did with. Well, uh... I just can't imagine what you're doing here, Dr. Brown. Seems to me we've said just about everything that there is to say to each other. It was just that I didn't want the wrong thing to happen to you. She's an amazing girl, Joe. She sure amazed me, Doc. Well, goodbye, Madison. Just let me talk for a moment, then I'll go. Joe, I came here tonight because I didn't want Annabelle to make a foolish mistake. I don't want her to make one now. What's that, you say? You see, I'm the one who taught you into going back home to you. But I'm not so sure now that it would work out. Oh, I know. Just what he's hinting at, Joe. Why doesn't he come out with it? He's trying to tell you that I chased all over town after him. Just because he's so wonderful, I couldn't resist him. Well, now, this kind of puts another life in the situation. Annabelle, what's been going on here? Oh, for goodness sakes, Joe, I was in love with him. And what about it? I'm not anymore. And our train leaves in 25 minutes. Oh, now, now, honey, I waited 15 years for you. I guess I can spare another few minutes. Annabelle, I've come to a very embarrassing conclusion. What I'm trying to say is that I want you to stay. Well, well, I'm sure I just don't know. The only thing I want is for you to be happy, Annabelle. Well? Well, I'll leave the whole thing up to old Joe. He always knows what's best. Well, girl, deep down, I guess I always knew it'd never be me. He's the man for you, honey. Goodbye. Goodbye, old Joe. Take care of her, doctor. She's a mighty fine little woman. Mighty fine. Best performance I ever gave. You know, Julie, I can use this character in my radio program. Give him a guitar, call him Old Tower or something. Why not? Yeah. Well, can I drop you off someplace? Would you give me a lift back to town? I'm hungry. Hey, come to think of it. So am I. Say, have you ever been to Bixby's? They have the most wonderful courage room. And for only 65? Oh, you, Madison, I knew that all I wanted was to cook little intimate dinners for you the rest of my life. When did you really know? I guess tonight when I realized you were going away with old Joe and I'd never see you again. There's something I better tell you about old Joe. Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about him. As the years go on, he'll probably find another girl. I suppose so. Or another part to play as good as old Joe. Madison. With all your thought in this Annabelle, there was one habit of mine you didn't discover. I'd like to listen to Hillbilly Radio programs and no one could ever mistake Harry Proctor's mighty fine country draw. Oh, Madison, I guess you're the most wonderful man in the whole world. Well, I don't know, but the paraphrase of the words of a very great man, never before in the field of human conflict has one girl done so much for so little. Oh, what's that? Sounds like the door buzzer. Good evening, Miss Sims. I'm Reverend Wiley. I trust I'm not late, Miss Sims. You said nine o'clock. Madison, well, I thought just in case. That's amazing. Now, if you're planning for a live wedding. Thank you for joining me for another production of the Radio Theater. This is Frank Brezee saying good night to you from Hollywood.