 Welcome back on this fabulous day. It's a WCW woman crush Monday and you're wondering why I'm here. I'm here because I'm the biggest fan of women and if you didn't know, I'm son of a woman and I'm called Sankaraka Esu because of something. I'll tell you the history behind my name Sankaraka Esu. This is why in the morning and this particular segment is the talk of the day. It was posted there. The topic is the crazy things people do in the name of love and I am not alone here. I cannot do it on my own because I've not done all those crazy things alone. I have people with people who have done them and most of them are women. My name is Sankaraka Esu and with me joining me for this topic or for this conversation are two beautiful ladies. Coincidentally, both of them are from one region where love is in the air, especially for the ladies. This is Grace and the other specials. This is Grace who graced my Indian patience. Sambodiku told me you were called Patience Uzoku. That mum was in Nigeria. But both of you are going to tell us more about you, including your social media handle. So I think we should start with you, Grasa. My name is Grace Maengi. I am a journalist by profession. That's what I studied in school. I am passionate about life and relationships. I am passionate about human rights and education. You will tell me how passionate you are about relationships and where you have reached with it. Now your social media handle please. Grasa Maengi on all social media platforms. Grasa Maengi on Facebook. Grasa Maengi on Instagram. Grasa with an E.R. at the end. Grashera. Man, umeskia, umsi mispelm kisach, umesach pizuri. You were beautiful, I must admit. Then we have another beauty on set with a suit and a gap between the teeth. Tell us everything about you Patience. Okay, thank you very much. My name is Patience Mutete. I am an accountant by profession. I am so passionate again, like my friend here about the young people. Oh, young people. Yes, and I am into public speaking too much. So I do a lot of public speaking and I write a lot. I am a content creator at the same time. So on social media, I am Patience Ozuko. Oh, so I got it right. But it's not K-W-O, it's a ko. Was it a nickname you were given so you accepted? Yeah, I was given the name when I was in class 5 because they used to watch waga so much. And they used to like the Patience Ozuko. At the same time that I got baptized, so they called me Patience Ozuko. Why did you give her this name after you were baptized? And you adopted it and changed it? Is it your mum who gave you this name? Okay, no. People used to tell me that I have the character, but exception, except one character. Patience used to hakt up to dates. She haks when she is most of the time like a witch. That's the only character that I don't have from Patience. I also think she acts like a waga so much. I also think Patience acts like a wicked woman all the time. She's a wicked mother in law. She's a wicked stepmother. She's a wicked everything. A wicked chorus. A wicked everything. A mother in law is true. Okay, that is the only character that I don't possess from her. But in real life, Patience is a preacher. Patience is a guidance and counselor. Oh, she's a preacher. She's a woman of God. So, and I've been... I'm happy you know so much about her. You've really done some research. Is she the person you really want to meet one on one? It's my prayer that one day, one time, I've been to Nigeria. Just want to see her. Okay, if you're going to tag her when we upload this, you're going to tag her in this so that she can watch and plan to meet you. She can plan it better than me. And I have a feeling that you are in a wrong profession. I don't see how a countess comes in with. Because all the countess I know are people who are introverts. They don't talk too much. They are just people of transactions, of balancing the figures, of paying. They don't talk a lot. But you seem to be unopposite of that. Exactly. And I love the character. Oh. The mutete, the second name my puse is from my grandma. She used to be very talkative. For me it's a profession. Are you talkative by profession? As in, I don't say by profession. I'm saying a countess is my profession. But being talkative, it's me, it's part of me. It's your part time hobby. It's full time, it's not part time. If we start talking about you, we will spend the whole day talking about you. There are so many things to talk about, the two of you. Because there is how yesterday I was calling her to inform me about this show. She nearly collapsed for me. They remind me. But that story, today we're going to talk about the things that people do in the name of love. The crazy things that people do in the name of love. I have quite a little, a number that I've seen. And you are going to tell us, we are going to discuss it at depth. Every point at depth on what I have in record people have done in the name of love. You're also going to tell me the things you've seen or you've experienced yourself. But first we are going on a short break. So this is on the other side of the break. Don't touch that dial. Welcome back. So before we took this break, we were talking about the crazy things that people have done in the name of love. And we are going to start with your experiences. Like personal experiences. Let's start with you Grace. Have you ever fallen in love? Let's ask that. Yes. Is there anything crazy you've done for love? Or let's say while in love. Or maybe if something bad has happened so the love is breaking or something. Give us your experience. Wow. I think I have done quite a lot of things. A lot of crazy things. Are you a drama queen? I am one person when I love my love passionately. I don't know how to love hafa. I love in, out. I give my all. I give until there's nothing left to give. I think one of the mistakes I will admit to having done is giving too much until there's nothing left to give. Giving the other person a lot of things until there's nothing left to give you. I didn't love myself enough to know where my boundaries began and where they ended. So one of the things I did, one of the crazy things I will say probably think na kumbuka junili cha po wasana na mamangu. It was on a Sunday and I was here, I was in love. It was I think some years back before I went to uni. And it was on a Sunday we were supposed to go to church and then your time was sure never this satin dresses. It was for a wedding and I was feeling sasat ko shago. The boyfriend I was dating that time alko shago piaiei we came from the same area. So I, to nambotu na nushago, 20 churches when they were at kibarabara kukotuna pita kichucho, then I knew I had a date with this boyfriend after church and I thought to nende yo church yao. Kumbi, my parents were going to another church. So in afikas wimina wami am not going, I can't go. Yo barabara ita nia ribi anguwo, nini nini nini me jiangusha chiri nimi roll ko flow and I am actually big, I was actually in my teenagers. So I was telling my mother we are not going, aying wu yangu nimpia. So my mother was like, zungu kabarabara kujutu pate tsu na kunguwa jada yada side. So we say maapa nishot, ita kwa ribi anguwo. Just go around. Uka rolda hi desem guwa nye desem wa ita ribita. Yo sasa sida jifanya. You are throwing trunks. Yes, I am throwing trunks. So they say, ah, when are you chachingi? So I am like, yo njeni refu yo chachinima li mimi nime choka ita nia ribi anguwo. So she tells me, zungu kabarabara kujutu pate tsu na kunguwa jada side. If you don't want the shortcut. So me na zungu kabarabara kujutu pate tsu na kunguwa jada side. So I didn't go to the chachinima. Walingoja forever. Walingoja forever. So jio ni nimi rudi mamangua wekula moto. Ay, mama was super mad. I was caned. I can't forget. Then my mother had a way of caning us. You kneel down, you lift your hat. Then you tell her, she starts reading Bible verses. My mom is a pastor. So she starts reading Bible verses. She tells you, what does this verse say about children who are not obedient? Okay, spare the road and spoil the child. Okay, so if I am beating you, what am I beating the mistakes? So how many vibhokos should I give you? I'm like 2. She's like 2 is too little for that disobedient. Nili o nyeshwa, whoa. Ay, yay, yay, yay. Maji rani wali kujaku wa kugonga blangu. Ula fanya nili uchoto. But yeah, I've never forgotten that one. Did you break up with this man? Eventually I did. So she was sick. That was on a Sunday. After I met you on a Sunday, she just came. Tuesday I went to Tumwa maini. Kwenda kwa soko, I came to Kwao. I came to Oveste maini kaisha. So I went to Tumwa satis and I went to Samoja. Nabila maini. Nabila maini. Naseyo maini, I came to Gonjoa. I went to Tisha maini. Mamangwa lini kula wu. I went to Kwao. I came to Oveste maini. But do you blame that for maybe being a child or maybe you were Ken because you were being a child? Yes. So the love was taking you to crazy. Yes. I think at that time I think that was the first person I was ever in love with. Yes. So I'm thinking it was everything I thought that was supposed to be. You sacrificed even the land sacrificial. I want you to react to her story. You tell us your story in case you have questions. Okay, for Gracie I think she did it because she was young and she was not understanding herself. And again she didn't know all about what is love. She was just falling because out of people's talks most of we young people fall in love because you have had some stories from some friends. This is the experience that I experienced. So you feel you want to experience the same. At this time you are so blind to an extent that even you can't even listen to your parents. Yes. You are so blind even you have that God to just stand before the parents and you are like Hey, see me kuna so what? It's a secret. It's a secret. But you also want to you don't want them to know but you really love them. So for an extent. So we say love is blind but love also blind ends. Love makes people blind and it's also blind. It's true. It's blindness is contagious. Okay, we have a story question. Okay, for me for my side I used to be that strict girl when I was growing up and you know your mother is a teacher it's really that you get into such. So it happened when I got the freedom when I was during the camp at the time now I started the relationship things and everything. So mine I think I started when at least I'm a bit sober but I had a different experience from that. Just a small break. Are you saying that you first fell in love when at Kampas? You were first ever. Yeah. At Kampas? Definitely. At Kampas? Direct proposal. You fell in love in primary but you can go on. So in primary high school I used to be that strict I'm like when you fall in love you're wasting yourself you know you won't get to that dream girl you won't get to Kampas. So I decided I was a bit sober in Kampas so that is the time I can say I fall in love like seriously and then okay I didn't know much about love but I found myself into that. So the experience that I experienced is that there's one day that I used to date somebody who is working and at the same time I got first year you know and then the guy sometimes you know I'm so much like Gracie the way she has said I think I also have the same character when I get to love I'm like see me me pekiyango you know I really want that consideration you know kata okay I'll follow to talk to you to talk to you what you know what are you doing I'm also has to live so it means somebody else you know you know so that is crazy me so it happened sometimes I left my family like that time I was staying with my handy I'm like kwa road munu nani kaziya every weekend I'm supposed to go and see my boyfriend you know and then I I went Ika fika to an extent that I had gel my mum like okay Ika kwa so worse to an extent because every weekend every Friday na nda na nda kwa ke ni ni ni kuna spare duko Friday e na kimiza class like the whole weekend niko uko nani disande jeo ni amas mande so it happened I didn't have a jacket so ni kabayake and then inside ilikwa na reciti so the guy used to take hall call you know na ikuna reciti za clubbing so my handy when you clubbing with him not most of the times it's just really and then a katoa reciti al kwa na fuwango antyako and then a kapiga picha a katumiyama do you know what patience has been spending every time in campus kwa club she's not trading and everything now I decided I decided to be crazy because now I cannot lose everything you know I lose staying with my auntie again kwa respect kwa parents they used to know this they got okay fine nimi kwa club hey you are dating yes so you know kwa nda kaki nda it's okay and then that time kapa taga then my sister my late sister so akani ichu kwa kwa nda kwenakukakwa you know now I have freedom freedom to move and everything so at time ilifika nika we can't na spend the guys to say with their kwa brother inside the house so aki nda job akani one day then akani apesa by journey upatia bradango because kwa na nda kwa kwa watch game and everything so ili kazi aku fanya kazi siyako you are not a wife but you are cooking for that man you are ironing clothes and everything you know they call it village proverb you know they call it performing wife duty you know they call it village proverb because we are doing them we will never marry you so I am like see who this idea kutua these carpets you know and then nisongesha I change things you know I am so passionate about interior design and the decorations and how as in design yeah so I was doing that guy was like see who this idea like you know he was so rude to me and then decided by journey I will not use it am party apesa because I have this idea time ya kwen da game si kum party apesa and then that time nili kwa badu niko palina na katiwa with another guy you know so I said because this guy is coming home late lazima nitokeni kawne the other guy see ni katoka and then dekabue aka nifuata yuma so place to li kwa li ktumeka aka pigia pitch and then he sent to the brother then I came home then niko like oh today is weekend let me do cha parties you know send everything ho am they a kuki nitimali za ku pikana nguajama zia fikere tileze tia kare reunion kare reunion zy a kafika today no hag today no hag that time he was you know he used to do a guy zia he was my brother tia tia he used to anafika I'm like bangali wa niko nileo nimekua the what in the house kumba hi akun apicha akuna picture We had evidence, we had pictures, we had ads. I thought maybe he was angry because he didn't even give the money to his brothers. I didn't know that was the end of this relationship. Did it just tell you that? Was that the last day? I can say that it was the last day that I saw that guy. Because after that, when I saw him, I was like... You float, you physically float? Yes, I float. I float. I'm like, who did I? I'm rich, I'm everything, you know? Even sometimes when I see girls work out of relationships that men have a lot of money, I'm like, oh it's normal. It's not all about money, you know? Because the guy had it all. I'm even going in jail, you know? They start to pay extra attention and then you want to explore. You know you are young. Especially you who started late in life. Not so many girls start at campus. That's what I advise my sisters to do. But it's not always practical. They start experiencing early as a girl. That's great. It works. Like Kwanja, before your time comes, I don't know what creates anxiety in Uganda so that you want to explore as early as primary school. Which is very wrong. But it's life. You've talked about something called attention. Grace also talked about it a little. That it reaches a time when girls want 100% of their men's attention. How? Do you think there are other things to do? Do you think there are other things to do? That is another crazy thing. Kayesi, if I can respond to that. Yes, you have other things to do. But I should be in your to-do list. I should not be if you claim to love me, believe that we make time for the valuable. If something is valuable to you, you'll make time. No matter how much press you are. I usually say you have two seconds. It doesn't take a minute to send good morning babe. I have a busy or a crazy day today. Know that I love you or something like that. It won't take you 30 seconds surely. Just even if you've had a long day, I'm not saying have your attention 100% because again, if you're giving me 100% attention the whole day, una dunini na layfiako, don't you have a vision? Don't you want that 100%? Personally, I don't. Personally, I would want what I call calculated attention. Calculated attention is whereby I don't feel neglected, but I also don't feel like you're too much on my case because I'm a busy woman. So I don't feel like you're neglecting me. I don't feel like you're too much on my case, but I feel cared for. Just the morning I love you. Yes, somebody said that when nili kwa na kukatia, nili kwa mbe I love you. Before he said me, now I don't love you. So to me too you are a kwanzei. You are a kwanzei. To me and the two of you. Aja nia mbe a lini nia mbe aga na nipenda, but aja nia mbe a tawa. Women are affectionate beings. We thrive in. I don't know, I stand to be corrected. Probably she'll say what she thinks, but we thrive in affection. We thrive in hearing that word from you. No telling me you look beautiful. I love you. We thrive in that. When you thrive in respect, women thrive. But there are so many people who tell you, I love you. What do you think, Peshias? There are so many people, not I love you, but you are beautiful. When you come to work like it, both of you are beautiful today. I didn't expect, I know where you come from, where you come from girls are beautiful and flowers like this. So you are automatically beautiful. Must I tell you you are beautiful? See, anybody can tell you even from the office. Yeah, it's true. The word from somebody from office and somebody that you love, it's so much different. Yes, this one feels like I've been appreciated by the people I'm working but it has a different weight when somebody I'm in love with is telling me so. Because they say in the money nipiga picha and then Oh God, baby, you look good on these suits. There are so many different things that I feel than when I'm in a studio, I feel like I'm in a studio. It's normal for somebody to tell me from outside but inside the house it's your main person. Okay, I accept. Going forward, I'm going to say that to my... It's a learning session so I'm also there. There's one thing here I want us to talk about. As I was doing my studies I found out that what girls do sometimes maybe when they are a bit well of the crazy thing spending on their men they can sell everything. There's a lady who sold everything, everything to spend on her man to a point that she didn't have money to sustain herself. She became broke. It has happened there is a story of a lady who took loa she was an engineer. It's something in the public domain of she was an engineer at Kenyapawa then she started dating some media personality. That media personality then she started taking loa it's like this guy really wanted a lot of money. So she spent all her savings on this man and then started taking loans for this man. She exhausted all her credit availability to an extent that now she was borrowing from relatives, from relative to relative relative to relative to fund this man until she had debts of all the relatives she could get debts from and she ended up dying, she died. Yes, the case of I don't want to say but he was a very prominent TV personal. Do you love too much to an extent that you are willing to spend all your resources on her man? To respond to that I can say no because that is madness. That is what I can call you know madness. She does it in the name of love she says I love him anything he wants I can give. I'm saying so many people fall in love when they're not sober they're not understanding themselves because I don't understand how in life you still have things to do you account sales remain you account you know when you run broke there's nobody to come for you in that house I'm telling you even the same man you know most of the men are not looking okay men come to women's life for two purpose either love or for sex and then when you fall for one that one is going to ruin you and most of the young ladies they are not understanding even most of the ladies are not understanding that most of the time men need stability they don't even want to know whatever you can give back but are you stable enough to an extent it's not financially it's not stable enough today if I'm living for work or anything am I having somebody in the house to take care of me or am I in the house having somebody who can love and care for my kids and you find that most of the ladies when I figure to an extent that if today I give you money I believe that utaka if men know what they want I can give you everything because I have when you still go for another lady it happens it's normal even this one went for another lady so I don't know maybe this why the other lady died people assume that she died because of maybe the overwhelming debts and loans but people say that after all that spending and plunging this lady into debts the man still went for another lady ya what do you think beauty a man will always get what he wants if he doesn't want this he won't get it I think men are very logical and when we love from the heart they love from the mind it's unfortunate but at times men take love as projects projects projects explain projects in the sense that sisi one wise man who said men man's mind is divided into boxes where you have a box finances a box relationship a box akitaka story a relationship atenda kwa yo box he picks that specific box he opens it you talk about that when that is close he closes it he moves on to another thing but for us women our minds are in webs that's why you multitask for a man I think most of the times men take relationships as a project this is a project the way you will take a project I need to invest in money I need to invest in resources they take a relationship that's my take it's not custom can you spend on a man how much as much as is needed but not stupidly you see how sometimes flies get into hot soup or into tea you say you get into love that way if I want to break it I am saying that I am too stressed to love you know how we get money from men from ladies we men how do you get money from ladies I know you love me so much so one day you will just get me somewhere stress I don't want to talk so you will start asking me what is wrong baby what is it I am just stressed there is debt that is weighing me down I need to send some money to my dad I don't have it so I am really off the moves if you love how many you will give it to me so I can be persistent on this until you get drained to zero now that's why you say that a woman needs to be I usually say you don't fall enough blindly when you close your eyes that's what I used to do when I was younger but now I know better when I fall in love right now I don't fall in love blindly I close my one eye and the other is open had you crazily spent on your man at a point yes okay not crazily because I spent quite a number once but it wasn't crazy the same man no no no that was first crush your first love or whatever I have spent on our man when will I spend you can say you can deny why are these ladies why am I not getting that I think the problem right now is that feminism is spoiling relationships I am not a feminist I am sorry to the feminists Feminism is spoiling relationships in that it's teaching women to be independent oh anakutisha pesakwa you know the value and virtue of sacred relationships and marriages is getting lost slowly by slowly so manu uto onamu anumia na teseka but then this woman is like ata ieie mi pe mi inataftaya hu peataftaya my money is mine, his money is ours that's what they say there's another one of quitting job it tells you I need the whole of you here let me just work where kwa apa you make the home you be my wife here there's no need of both of us working that is another thing that mostly happens especially to ladies you take on this have you had such a scenario such a story of something happening yeah it's common nowadays it's very common to so many people and let's say most of the ladies are doing it out of threat you know you find us men nowadays are like okitoku kwenche uto onekana na wengine so I really want to fix security issues number two, men want to do their own things so in the month if I have this career woman outside there we can fight, we can argue things but when she's at us wife there she has no power over me she is a lifetime beggar in the house maybe from my own perspective I can't look at how you have trained your career and then money is going to fix you in the house