 Hello there, my beautiful, lovely, delightful internet friends. Welcome back to my channel. Thank you so much for joining me here today on Footless Joe, where I am Joe. I'm missing a foot. There's proof right there. And we're going to be doing the ultimate tier list ranking of things people say to amputees. As we dive in here, I want to note two things. First of all, I was feeling very adventurous with my makeup today, so I went with the actual red lipstick. And I haven't figured out yet if it works, but I feel classy. Secondly, if you wouldn't mind hitting that like and that subscribe button down below, it really helps my channel out, and I would appreciate it. As we get started here, a quick word from our sponsor. I am honored to introduce you to our sponsor for today's video, Surfshark VPN. You've heard me talk about Surfshark before, because this is a service I actually use and really appreciate. 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If you use the link down below, you get a fantastic deal, 83% off, which is a huge discount. So check it out. Let me know what you think and let's dive back into the ultimate amputee tier list. All right, let's get started here. I feel like it's important to note, perhaps you don't know that people say weird things to amputees, like really weird things. And here's the thing, I generally think that people are really curious as they should be. I'm open to questions, really hard to offend me. So if you said pretty much any of these things to me in real life, except for anything that goes in the thanks ruining my day category, I'm not going to be upset, but I'm kind of just going through the internal process that I feel when people say these things here in today's tier list. So let's do this. Introducing our tier ranking. At the very bottom, we have, ah, you're sweet, meaning I know it's well intentioned. And it's pretty nice of you to say so. Right above that we have, I can tell you're trying as in, I realize there's good intention behind what you're saying, but it's not the best. Then we have thanks, but no thanks quickly followed by, well, that was ignorant. And at the very top, we have thanks for ruining my day. So let's get started here. I'm gonna start with an easy one, right? The what happened to you? That one goes in the, ah, you're sweet category. I appreciate curiosity. I think if we teach people not to ask questions that leads to like ignorance and biases. So yes, ask me what happened. I'm happy to tell you. I'm so sorry. So I feel like this one would go in different tiers depending on the category, but I'm gonna pop this and I can tell you're trying as in, I think it's sweet that you're, that you're expressing like you're sorry for something, but also what are you sorry for? Like if I was telling you I'm having a really hard time or my leg's really hurting today, yes, that's an appropriate response. But if you just see me walking around, you have no context for me or who I am or my story and you're just like, I'm so sorry you're an amputee, I appreciate the sentiment behind it. It just kind of comes across a little bit weird because it sounds like you're sorry for my existence or my life when I'm not sorry for either one of those things. Everything happens for a reason. So this was in my cliche sayings tier list. In this context, sometimes if someone's asked me my story and I tell it to them, they'll say, well, everything happens for a reason. So, you know, this was supposed to happen to you. This one definitely belongs and well, that was ignorant only because full disclosure, I just like this saying anyways, but when it's said in response to being like, I fell off a horse, shivered my ankle, went through years of surgeries and a lot of pain and eventually had to make the decision to cut my leg up so I could have a higher quality of life. And your response is everything happens for a reason. It's like you were saying, well, of course, you know, you were supposed to hurt for years of your life. You were supposed to have things you love taken away from you. And honestly, I don't believe that that's how the world works. And it is really insensitive to me like internally when someone implies that trauma or bad things in my life were supposed to happen to me because like I said, I don't believe that that's how the world works. But that's just my opinion. You're so brave. I'm gonna put that in the, I can tell you're trying people tell that to me a lot. And again, it's more like the comments without context. For instance, I went to a TED Talk once, like I was attending it, I haven't given a TED Talk yet. That is literally one of five things on my ultimate bucket list. But I went to this TED Talk when I was still recovering from my amputation and I was on crutches. And you could see that, you know, there wasn't a leg on one side of my body. And there were three different people in a row who all told me like, oh, wow, aren't you great for being in public? You're so brave to come out here. And I was like, dude, I just, I just want to, I just want to take a seat and listen to the speeches. I think it is so sweet. And there's nothing wrong with someone expressing that. But it does make me feel a little bit other, a little bit different when someone's like, you're so brave for coming out in public. And like, what, why, why wouldn't I? Right? Okay. Do you know so and so they're an amputee too? This one's kind of funny to me. I want to put that in the thanks, but no thanks. There is this assumption that amputees must know each other because apparently there aren't a lot of us even though actually there are. It's surprising how many amputees are wandering around in public. I've never like actually offended. I just think it's funny because oftentimes people will assume that I know their cousin in Michigan when I live in Colorado because he's missing a leg too. And it turns out we don't all know each other. I forget you're even disabled. Okay, before I place this anyone, I want to put some qualifications on it. I feel like there are two different ways to take this one. Sometimes people say this because they think disabled is a bad word. Like, oh, I, I didn't even, I didn't even know you're disabled. I didn't need like, I totally forgot because you're totally, you don't act disabled, right? And I, I've talked about this at length on my channel before, but I think disability is a fine word. I think it's a descriptive word. It's not a dirty word or a nasty word or slourish, simply a fact of life that I have a disability. And so oftentimes when someone's like, I forget you even have a disability, it sort of hits on this nerve of what do you think I should be like to think that I do have a disability? Like, do you think disability is so much lesser? I don't know. But the other way to take this, which I think is the way that most people intend to, someone is expressing that they see me as a whole person, that they don't see my identity as an amputee and that I really appreciate. So I'm gonna put this one in the I can tell you're trying. It almost went in the all your sweet category, but before the people who say that as if disability was a bad thing, I'm gonna, I'm gonna keep it and I can tell you're trying. How do you fill in the blank? A lot of people ask me how do I drive or how do I run or how do I hike or how do I clean the house or how do I go to sleep or get up to get a glass of water? And I honestly don't mind these questions at all. This goes in the all your sweet category of just curiosity, right? Like I can appreciate just sort of being curious about something. I have a lot of questions about life experiences that I don't have and so if you're respectful, I really don't mind if you ask me how I do something. You're still pretty though. I'm guessing you can probably tell how I feel about this one. This goes in the thanks for ruining my day. This is extraordinarily patronizing. I have had this said to me, especially online, they're like, well, you're still attractive even though you're missing a leg. It's just really icky. It's like clearly saying that you probably aren't pretty if you're missing a leg, but you're still pretty though. Like good for you. I'm personally really not a fan of this kind of a sentiment because the implication is so very clearly there that most people would think I'm not still pretty because I'm missing a leg or people shouldn't find me attractive. It's like this, oh, don't don't worry honey, you're still pretty. Like you're suggesting that people with limb difference or disabilities aren't pretty like that would be the thing that makes them not pretty anymore. So that one's definitely definitely top of my least favorite lists. You're so inspirational. This is one that generally if you're a person with a disability, especially one that people can see, you'll get a lot. People will say, you're so inspirational. Honestly, that's probably the most common comment that I get either in real life or online. I have very mixed feelings about where to put this one because I really appreciate someone taking the time to say that I've inspired them. But when this comes kind of out of the blue, whether it's a stranger in a checkout line somewhere saying, hey, by the way, you're really inspirational, it's really objectifying. It's like there's nothing about me or my life or my story, my personality or my character or my morality or anything like that that's inspiring to you. It's simply the fact that I have my leg chopped off. That alone is inspiring to you and the fact that I'm getting groceries. If I've struggled through something or overcome something or I'm doing something in spite of her anyways, and that's what's being recognized as opposed to you're so inspirational for simply existing in the world as a disabled person, this one's a hard one for me. I never begrudge anyone who says it, again, either online or in person, but I'm gonna put this in the icon until you're trying it on. We're gonna go into, well, that was ignorant. I have had one person ask me this. I've had a couple comments about it and the answer for me and pretty much every amputee ever is no, you can't try my prosthetic leg on because it fits me and only me and you still have a leg. I just think it's a very funny question. I think it's like someone doesn't really think about something before they say it. I've definitely been in the position where I haven't thought about things before I've said them. I look like an absolute idiot. So I think it's a very funny question and I have gotten that one. Thank you for your service. I don't know if you know this, but people think amputees for their service as in every amputee must have lost their limb in some kind of battle or war or something like that. I have had one person come up to me and thank me for my service and ask me if I was in the war. They weren't specific about what war, just the war. This one I'm gonna put in the thanks but no thanks. It speaks of a lack of understanding of amputees in general which is fine because people aren't born understanding amputees but the assumption that all amputees must have lost their limbs in combat without asking the question first is just not super great. Do you miss it? A lot of people ask me this. This one goes into the ah you're sweet category like this question doesn't bother me at all and the answer is yes I do miss my leg but I miss the version of it that was working when I was 12 years old before I shattered it falling off a horse right. I don't miss the leg I had that hurt so much. This is another one of those that's like I just I appreciate maybe that you want to know a bit about my story of curiosity like that's totally fine. Why is one that like just why without any context to it and generally if I ask a question they're referring to like why how did I become an amputee or whatever but just sort of the blank like why for the fact that I am alive and existing in the world without a limb which might be different than other people. I'm gonna put that in the well that was ignorant. If it's coming from kids like I totally get it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger that's gonna go into well that was ignorant right alongside everything happens for a reason. This is another common response when I tell my story of like yeah this made you stronger and again no hard feelings towards anyone who says anything like this but for me I don't love the implication that the inevitable result of going through something difficult is to become stronger because that is not the case for everyone. It is a choice you can choose to try to build something good out of a negative thing that's happened in your life and if you achieve that fantastic but the idea that everything that does not literally end your life is there to bring you strength I don't really agree with. I think it's a choice and it's situational and sometimes the things that don't kill you come really close to killing you and that's a lot to deal with so not my favorite one. What does it feel like to be missing a leg? I'm gonna put this in the I can tell you're trying right because this is a super valid question and I would put it in the oh your sweet tear. If it weren't for the fact that I personally have difficulty trying to figure out how to explain how it feels because I'm like well it feels like it's gone and sometimes it feels weird and phantom pain is odd so again I think this is a good natured question like I don't mind it but I get to figure out how to adequately describe it. Do you need help with that? This one could go in all of the different categories depending on the circumstance and so I'm gonna put it right in the middle at thanks but no thanks. If someone's asking this because I'm on crutches and I'm trying to open a door when it's icy out which has happened I'm like yes that would be fantastic please help me but if someone's asking that before there's any indication of a struggle or before I've indicated that I need any help it just sort of makes me feel less than it makes me feel not awesome about myself it makes me see that people have the assumption that I'm not capable to do things on my own and generally speaking I think that this is a good rule for interacting with anyone who's dealing with a disability it's usually better to wait until they ask for help than to jump in and try to do something for them because chances are we've figured out how to do it unless it's a voice concern right? Good for you honey uh this is when I also get quite often I'm gonna put that in well that was ignorant just because I don't I don't love hearing it but like good for you for getting out of that house good for you for being seen in public as someone who's different than other people again it just doesn't feel awesome to hear and last but not least we have uh if I were you I'd kill myself and that's the thanks for ruining my day tier. First of all I don't agree with it I think most people are much stronger than they realize they're absolutely some things that put people through hell emotionally and mentally but the implication that someone would devalue their life so much as to end it simply because they'd be missing a leg as I am honestly hurtful to hear sometimes and I understand that it probably is coming from a place of like wow you're doing great I don't think I could do that but when it's voiced as I would literally end my life if I had to be you like what what are you trying to say about my poor unfortunate life right? So that is the ultimate threat down the ultimate ranking of things people say to amputees anyone out there who's dealing with a disability did I miss any these are the ones that like came top of mind for me and I'm curious if you guys would rank these differently I want to restate the fact that unless we are in the thanks for ruining my day category these have been sent to me and it's sincerely really difficult to offend me there are some things that I don't love hearing but I understand that it's coming from a decent place in a person you don't mind questions and curiosity especially when it's coming from kids or frankly when it's coming from anyone because I know that I'm a curious person I want to know things about other people and having to keep quiet and like force those questions down is not something I think anyone should have to do so for me personally I've opened questions that's not the case for every amputee or every person who has a visible disability it's always good to ask the question first of do you mind if I ask you a question about your leg that sort of thing but the thing is even for these that I've like ranked up higher in the tier listing here I know that people are just saying what comes to mind I know that I've said stupid things in different situations before because I wasn't sure what to say so this is just my own personal feelings about it so thanks for telling along for the journey thank you again to our sponsor for making this video possible and a huge thank you to my patrons over on patreon for continuing to support me and enable me to do what I do here so thank you guys if you're interested in joining patreon the link is on screen or down below please check out our sponsors link also down below and to you watching this I would love to hear from you I'd love to hear your comments down in the comment section down below you could be anywhere in the world doing anything and you chose to hang out with me and rank things that people say to amputees this is probably not what you thought you were gonna be doing today but you could be anywhere doing anything and you chose to hang out with me so thank you I love you guys I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video bye guys