 From DailyDoseOfWeirdNews.com, I'm Darren Marlar and this is your Daily Dose of Weird News. This episode is brought to you by the audiobook True Tales of Haunted Places by G. Michael Vasey, narrated by Darren Marlar. Here are free samples at MarlarHouse.com. The CEO of Campbell Soup is quitting President Trump's job council. Denise Morrison described the experience as, �Mmm, bad!� Please have tested positive for the bubonic plague in Arizona. But by all means, keep shouting, �He's not my president� because that's the more important issue. While the average American household gets 189 TV channels, they watch just 17 of them. In fact, it seems like 17 channels is about our limit. Almost a decade ago, when the typical American household received 129 channels, 60 fewer than today, we were still watching just 17 channels. But you're paying for 189 channels, so it all balances out. Daniel Craig, who once said he would rather break glass and slash my wrists than play 007 again, told The Late Show with Stephen Colbert Tuesday that he will return for another James Bond film. So he was immediately placed on suicide watch. Police are looking for a Texas man accused of having sex with a chain-link fence. Now the trick is to find him and lock him up behind something he won't make a move on. Wisconsin doctors say Doug Bergeson came perilously close to death after accidentally shooting a nail into his heart. Yet Doug remained amazingly calm and drove himself to the hospital and even parked his pickup truck in the lot before walking into the emergency room. This all went down June 25th while Doug was working on framing in a fireplace at his house near Prestigo when his nail gun accidentally fired sending a nail ricocheting off some wood and into his chest. He said, I thought it just nicked me, but then realized only about one inch of the three and a half inch nail was sticking out of his chest. He adds, I could see the nail moving with my heartbeat. He also said he was more annoyed than worried as he drove himself to the ER, adding that common sense told him not to pull the nail out. Dr. Alexander Roltstein confirmed the nail hit Bergeston's heart, saying it was also one-sixteenth of an inch from a major artery. He commanded Bergeson for not pulling the nail out and letting doctors handle it. Bergeson spent two days in the hospital and has been recovering at home since the incident. He finally will be able to return to work this week at the village of Lena Waterworks Plant. He also has a construction repair business. Shot to the heart and dodged to blame! Be glad you are not Monica Dorsett. She got the shock of her life while driving on a Florida highway. A slithering snake started coming out of the air vent next to her steering wheel. Fortunately, she managed to keep it together long enough to pull over and get out of the vehicle. She then called her husband to help after she trapped the snake in a car door. Moving forward, Monica says, I'm not opening those vents for a long time. You know, Samuel L. Jackson has taught us anything, as snakes can get pretty much anywhere. There is a new dating show in the UK where a robot will use artificial intelligence to solve celebrity relationship issues, so the cold and unfeeling might get dating advice from the cold and unfeeling. In a border dispute, Chinese soldiers and Indian soldiers threw rocks at each other. They then started throwing your mama's-so-fat jokes at each other. Employers may not be able to ask you your age or inquire about your religion, but they can ask you for something almost as personal – your Facebook username and password. In an attempt to thoroughly screen job applicants, some companies and government agencies want to do more than view the publicly available social networking profile page. They want to log in and poke around. And since it is fairly common for Facebook users to lock down their sites so only friends can see it, employers are requesting the password. Face it, America, no matter how many restrictions and privacy settings you set, if you post something online, it will be seen by someone other than the intended recipient. So unless you're okay with the world knowing about it, it's a bad idea to post it. The Hunger Games and Twilight movie series are getting their own theme parks in South Korea – a Twilight theme park. How is that not literally going to suck? A study says better sleep is as beneficial as winning the lottery. I guess that depends on your definition of beneficial. My seriously doubt MasterCard is going to accept my sleeping in as this month's minimum payment. A vandal spray-painted the Lincoln Memorial with graffiti on Tuesday. This is exactly why we should not be removing statues and taking down flags – we forget our history. Lincoln was the one who ended slavery, you antifa moron. Sweaters for chickens? It sounds like a joke, but a plucky group of retirees in suburban Boston has hatched a plan to keep poultry warm during the New England winter. The unusual project began after members of a knitting club at Fuller Village, a retirement home in Milton, Massachusetts, heard about the hardships that some chickens suffer during winter. You think they're suffering from hardships in the winter? Just wait until you hear them squawk after you fit them with a wool-knitted straitjacket. Canoic Washington will be the home of the annual International Bigfoot Conference Labor Day weekend. What I want to know is how did they get all of the Bigfoot's mailing addresses to send out the invitations? If you're already an official weirdo, please share this video on Facebook, Twitter, Reddit and other social media to help get the word out. If you'd like to become an official weirdo, simply click that subscribe button and notification bell. While you're at it, click that like button to let the world know that you're a weirdo.