 Remember the time I went to this overnight lock-in for all boys on a warm summer night. Yeah Yeah, I remember it Claire's day my older brother was with me My my my mom gave me some snacks and a few dollars to take the event and it wasn't a complete lock-in though You know cuz this the name suggests you're supposed to be locked in a specific building But the counselors or the people in charge for the event that they took everyone out to see a movie before you know We got officially locked in but but we didn't all see the same movie, right? They split us off into two groups and you know, we saw two different movies one of them being I think sedutary it or Secretariat or something like that and then the other one was Paranormal activity to anyone under the age of 13 had to watch Secretariat Which was like I think like some sort of horse movie while anyone above the age of 13 got to watch Paranormal activity to if they wanted to right now the problem with that was I was only 12 So when they came around asking people To their age and birthday I had to lie like a motherfucker, you know You think you think I'm about to watch a horse movie make a note. What am I some some nine-year-old white bitch? What am I little Nas X? So then we head off into the movie theater and I'm so happy I get to hang with the big kids the big boys, right? But there was another problem that arose I had never once seen a horror movie before in my life. So by the time the movie ended I walked out the theater Looking like a World War one victim. You know, I'm shivering. I'm shaking I'm shell shocked almost right and when we got on the bus I looked at the kids from the other group that went to see that horse movie and they're all happy They're smiling sunshine shining down on their bodies. They're content with life like damn Maybe I shouldn't hit that chain sides because because for the entire ride back to the building My face was darting around surveying the environment like like some sort of prey some sort of some sort of herbivore Trying to eat leaves and acorns and every time a car passed I thought in my head there could be a demon driving that car How do we know that how do we know if the camp counselor driving the bus isn't a demon himself How do I know my brothers not a demon, huh? I even remember going to the bathroom stalls later on in the night just scared as a little bitch My knees wobbling like my bones got replaced by those toys that can walk down the stairs And as I walked inside the bathroom my scared-to-death child mind starts hearing some ominous Dripping noises and I'm breathing. I'm breathing looking around Turns out it was just another kid peeing in one of the stalls and the torment it does stop there After the lock-in for a whole month that movie tortured my undeveloped mind I invented a new definition of sleeping under the covers had my blanket and bedsheets arranged like like like some Some Native American teepee house just waiting to catch a demon slipping I even brought empty milk jugs to my room So I didn't have to get up in the darkness of the night to go to the bathroom And as I look back at that whole experience, I realized how stupid How much of an imbecile I was as a kid that movie was the least scary thing in the existence of scary movies So I'll give you a quick summary of how paranormal activity two was I got you did I get you that was it that was all it was I even feel like paranormal activity to was the start of the era where directors shifted more from movies that were actually repulsive and hence and frighten me to hey if we can get them to inhale abruptly or Gasp even one time within an hour and a half movie. I feel like we deserve a pat on the back See mark my words in about ten years the entire Horizontal will get rid of movies all together or you know at least the long movies They'll get rid of long movies and people will be taking 13 minute drives to the movies just to see a 30 second clip of Some apparition or monster briefly popping in front of the screen to jump a cheap jump scare out of everyone And everyone's gonna be like wow that that was a mate. That was an amazing movie I can't wait to see the sequel next year I think it's what was it called monster pops in front of the screen part to where instead of just one monster They'll have two monsters popping in front of the screen at the same time And the high quality ones of that era and as the critically acclaimed ones will be exactly the same thing But I'll have some some some eerie, you know that low That that eerie music that gets unnecessarily loud the moment that the monster cuts in the frame You