 Here we are in Genesis, Genesis chapter 2. If you've opened your Bibles there, we're going to be looking at verses 18 through 25 and we're looking at an introduction to Christian marriage. And so for us the way I usually do it is I give an introduction that touches on Scripture. I try to form a foundation and it takes a while to do that. Some of you who have been in my fellowship now for a while, you know, I like to lay as much of a foundation as I can and then I try to bring application. That's what I'll be doing here. I'm going to be laying foundation for you. It's going to take a while. I have to develop it and I'll hopefully you'll be able to follow with me as I go through it. Not because what I have to say is hard to understand. It's not. It's just that sometimes all the details I give can sometimes cause them to be a little bored and so I'm going to do my best to bore you today. A lot with the foundation. But then we move into practical application and what I intend to do in this particular study is to speak to you today about marriage in particular, give some basic things from verses 18 through 25 of Genesis chapter 2, and then move into various aspects of marriage. Through a series we'll look at the Christian wife, the Christian husband raising kids for Christ and possibly move into speaking about preventing divorce. And so that's what we're going to be looking at. And so we'll begin today in Genesis chapter 2. At verse 18 we'll read to verse 25 and then we'll get into our study. Genesis chapter 2 beginning at verse 18 reading to verse 25. And the Lord God said, it is not good that man should be alone. I will make him a helper comparable to him. Out of the ground, the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him. And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam and he slept. And he took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man, he made into a woman and he brought her to the man. And Adam said, this is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. So we're beginning a series on marriage and the family. As we begin, I want to first recognize that there are widowed and divorced members present here today. We have a number of single parents who are here with us. And I don't want you to feel less in any way and I don't want to be insensitive to any of you. I pray that this series will in some way be a benefit to you. The simple fact is it's been a number of years since I've done a marriage series. Marriage as an institution throughout the world has been redefined. Many have rejected the once accepted concept of a traditional family. They consider such a concept to be outdated or unreasonable, even unworkable. At one time there was a definition of a traditional family that was accepted by the majority and the definition went something like this. A traditional family is defined as a man and a woman who were married to one another who often have children born to them. A traditional family consisted of a bread-winning father and a stay-at-home mother who would care for the home and the children that were born to her and her husband after marriage. But in our day this basic definition of marriage and family has changed. In today's culture the new definition of family does not require marriage. For many to be a family only requires people caring about one another and living together. To be a family doesn't require marriage, but exists because they say that they are one. Many people find it preferable to live together without ceremony or contract. This has been true also even within those who profess to be Christians. Without fully realizing it they are sinning against the Lord. Melachi chapter 2 verse 11 refers to marriage as God's holy institution. This reveals that marriage is God's idea and design and it is regarded as holy. In the Old Testament book of Melachi 2 verses 14 and 15, where Melachi speaks of marriage as a covenant, not simply a legal contract. It also gives us insight that God intended marriage to produce godly offspring. So faith in God and service to him was to be passed on throughout generations. As we will see the New Testament reveals marriage to be a picture of Jesus Christ and his church. And as such it's a spiritual union that is not to be regarded as anything but sacred. So living together and sexual activity outside of marriage in Scripture is not recognized as right, it's called fornication. If the person living with someone is still married to another person it's called adultery. And in Hebrews 13 verse 4 in the New Testament the writer says marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. Ephesians 5 verses 5 and 60 Apostle Paul said, For this you know that no fornicator, unclean person nor covetous man who is an idolater has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. So adultery fornication is regarded as sin and it has punishment, it has severe repercussions. But today living together is very common. The Centers for Disease Control and National Center for Health Statistics reported in 1995 34 percent of unmarried women between 15 and 44 moved in with a man for the first time. In 2002 the percentage went up to 43 percent between 2006 and 2010 the percentage rose to 48 percent. That works out to one in four women living with a man by age 20. It also represents almost three in four by the age of 30. Nearly 75 percent of women ages 30 or younger said they've lived with a partner outside of marriage compared to 70 percent in 2002 and 62 percent in 1995. Someone says well of course they're living together they're going to get married eventually aren't they? Do these questions last? Do they lead to marriage? Well some say living together is like taking a test drive it should be done before you're committed. One study found that 40 percent of women living with a significant other for the first time between 2006 and 2010 transitioned to marriage within three years. Well 32 percent of those relationships remained the same and 27 percent were dissolved. As you might see for many marriage just doesn't seem to matter that much and so I want to begin a series on the subject of marriage from a Christian perspective. And so I'll begin by giving a simple definition of a Christian marriage. A Christian marriage is a total commitment of one man and one woman to the person of Jesus Christ and to one another. It is a commitment in which there is no holding back of anything. We know that marriage is regarded and recognized as a refining process that God uses to develop us into the person he wants us to become. In Proverbs 27 17 it says as iron sharpens iron so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. So God will use marriage to refine us and certainly he certainly does a good job of it through marriage I must say. Within the first nine chapters of Genesis there are three institutions that are basic to civilization that are established. The institutions are the church human government and marriage. And so today we're going to see that marriage is really the lynchpin for government and the church. In verse 18 notice how he begins here it says here the Lord God said it is not good that man should be alone. He went on to say I will make him a helper comparable to him. So first this verse reveals to us that it is God who created marriage. The Lord God said I will make him a helper. So that reveals that the man was created first that also gives to us the pattern of authority in the home. Secondly it reveals what God declares that Eve is. She's a helper who is comparable to him. The word comparable speaks of someone similar to him. It really literally speaks of her being his reflected image. She's his counterpart suitable in nature one like himself in shape and disposition. Eve was one in whom he saw his own image and saw his counterpart. She was his second self corresponding to his moral and intellectual nature. Then the third thing we see is the first thing that is ever called not good is that man should be alone. So that emphasizes his need for a companion. There were angels and there was a world of animal life but that wasn't enough for Adam. He needed someone like himself and without her he was truly alone. Now it's interesting if you note verses 16 and 17 you'll see that God has already spoken to Adam. He gave him commands. In verse 16 it says the Lord God commanded the man saying of every tree of the garden you may freely eat but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat for in that day in the day that you eat thereof you shall surely die. So we see that there was already communication between God and man but man needs another human being to relate to to share with to have as an equal. He needed another human being to establish social relationships with. He needed to give love to someone like himself because without someone he was simply an individual. He needed someone to share feelings with to be part of his actual life. It says in Ecclesiastes 4 9 through 11 two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down his friend can help him up but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up. Also if two lie down together they will keep warm but how can one keep warm alone? So you need relationship you need companionship. God said it is not good that the man should be alone and so this gives us more insight. First in verse 18 we see that you can have a relationship with God and yet still need someone else. We're created for fellowship with God and with other people so marriage is intended to fulfill our need to love others and to be loved by someone else like ourselves. Secondly marriage is God's idea not man's invention. God said it's not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper. Marriage was not created by men to dominate and injure women. God intended marriage to bring joy and satisfaction to those who were married. In Proverbs 18 22 it says he who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord and so it's intended to bring us joy. One man said I never knew what true joy was until I got married and then it was too late. Third, just seeing if you're listening. Third God brought Eve to Adam. Adam did not seek her out she was brought to him. God presented Eve to Adam and when God brought Eve to Adam that established the holiness and seriousness of marriage. Now that's something to talk about for just a moment. Let me share with you. I have seen and so have you some marriage ceremonies that had no sobriety or sacredness to them. I was looking at pictures of marriages on the net the other day and I saw a picture of the bride in the groom dressed like Shrek and Princess Fiona. Yeah, anyway. I saw a picture of a marriage that had taken place on a roller coaster. Another marriage pictures taken at a TJ Maxx. Yeah, there are drunk people getting married in Vegas by Elvis and some have had nonordained friends perform their ceremony but they never got a wedding license and there are pictures I've seen of a marriage taking place on a beach in bathing suits and a well-known former rock star many years ago and his wife got married both of them completely naked. I mean there's no sacredness in the marriage ceremony at all. You got to understand this. When it says that he brought her to the man God himself was accompanying the woman to present the bride and that gives me a sense of sobriety and seriousness of what is taking place here that God himself presented Eve to Adam if you're an unmarried individual keep that in mind when you're planning out your wedding ceremony and Eve was given to Adam as God's gift to Adam. Proverbs 1914 says houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers but a wise wife is from the Lord and then we see that God gave Adam a helper comparable to him. When it speaks of Eve being comparable it speaks of her being a match for him at his side making her fit for him corresponding to him. The woman was formed from him and was to be a perfect resemblance of the man possessing neither inferiority nor superiority but being in all things like and equal to himself it's been said Eve was not less nor better just different corresponding to his exact need. You see by design our mates are to fill in our gaps they literally really complete us and in marriage we learn from one another and accept one another as is and we actually learn to to to work well together. My wife has certain things in her personality that I lack in mind I have certain things about myself that she obviously lacks and so together we make a couple we become one and and I am made complete through her and she is made complete through me we need each other it's like we just fit together as pieces of a puzzle and so it's not easy it's very difficult because iron sharpens iron and and it's not always easy but but it's the working together it forms us into what we are and we see one another as being the one who God has brought to complete us. You see the rabbi is taught the wife is not a man's shadow so much as his other self she is she is his helper in a sense which no other creature on earth can be and so the scripture speaks concerning this it is not good that man should be alone I will make him a helper comparable to him verse 19 out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the air and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them and whatever Adam called each living creature that was its name so Adam gave names to all cattle to the birds of the air to every beast of the field but for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him so Adam was created first out of the earth later Eve was taken out of the man in 1 Corinthians 11 8 and 9 it says man is not from woman but woman from man nor was man created for the woman but woman for the man when you're looking your scriptures in Genesis chapter 1 verse 27 Genesis 1 27 informs us that God created man in his own image and when the scripture says he created that reveals that man was not evolved from something else man is brand new and he differed from other animal life not only in degree but in kind Adam was created in the image of God that refers to God's moral image not his physical image there are those who say well we're created in the physical image of God no we're not we're created in his moral image Colossians 3 verse 9 says the new man is renewed in knowledge according to the image of him who created him Ephesians 4 24 says we have been created according to God in true righteousness and holiness so that's not speaking of physical image it speaks of moral image knowledge righteousness and holiness are moral attributes you see Adam could not relate on a personal level with the animal life he needed another human being it's good to have a pet and pets are wonderful to have and for many they they bring great comfort and I'm beginning to see more and more of that as we're going as pets are becoming more and more part of people's lives and I see the value of that you know I think having a having a pet is a great thing I don't have any pets you know I have in the past but I saw them as like children you know I couldn't leave with you know wondering who's going to babysit the dog right so but there are others who don't mind hiring pets sitters and this and that for myself I see pets as being a great thing as long as it's not a cat you know they're good things but of course it's it's good to have a companion who's a human being somebody that you can have a relationship with and to visit with and all and and so Adam already had animal life about him but he didn't have one like himself the animals were created first and then Adam according to Genesis 1 24 and the survey of animals in Paris accentuated the fact that he was without a companion and so the Lord sees this and does something about it in verse 21 the Lord God caused the deep sleep to fall on Adam he slept he took one of his ribs closed up the flesh in its place then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man he made into a woman and he brought her to the man God caused him to sleep ensuring that he would not experience pain until he woke up and saw her and then the rest is pain to the rest of his life the ribs description says was made into a woman the word made means to build or fashion so she was fashioned she was built and then brought to Adam notice she was not taken from the dirt but from his side she was genetically perfectly harmonious to him she was taken from his side and does not govern him nor usurp authority over him nor is she his slave or simply a servant but it's his companion and is treated with kindness respect and love she was not made out of his head to surpass him nor from his feet to be trampled on but from his side to be equal to him near his heart to be dear to him it's a beautiful image where it says God put Adam into deep sleep now as difficult as this may be for some to hear that is the safest place for someone who's unmarried asleep to incessant and overwhelming desires for marriage it's important to note that God knew Adam's need before Adam realized that he even had it in Matthew chapter six verse eight Jesus said it like this he said your father knows what things you have need of before you ask so we have unmarried people here today this portion may not apply to you some are unmarried and have no desire to be married when my father went to heaven my mother never desired to remarry but there are others who have a strong desire for marriage so i'm going to give to you a little advice if i may i would encourage you not to rush into dating relationships or marriage because if you rush into something it may ultimately cost you you need to remember there are worse things than being alone and one of them is being unequally yoked if you are unmarried and desire marriage i encourage you to wait to wait for God's best for you because at this moment you're free to serve God without marital distractions marriage brings responsibilities and cares that that the unmarried don't have in 1st Corinthians 733 Paul said he who is married cares about the things of the world how he may please his wife in 1st Corinthians 735 Paul says being unmarried makes it possible to serve the Lord without he says distraction now single parents have an especially difficult time because loneliness is difficult rushing into a bad marriage makes it worse even if it is through e harmony if you're so if you're presently dating evaluate your present relationship and and be strong enough wise enough be mature enough to establish criteria for those whom you go out with it's not unspiritual to do that it's wise because you're counting the cost and so i want to take a moment to speak to those who are presently unmarried and i have a few questions for you to help you the the questions that i have are intended to to make you think about either your present relationship or a future one and so it's just a series of questions i've asked these questions in the past and and they seem to get a good response from those who are are single and all it can help parents who are raising children who are at the point or getting to the point of making serious decisions about lifelong marriages relationships and all so let me ask just a series of questions i begin by saying are you a christian and if you're a christian are they christians are you dating somebody right now who is not a believer because if you are if you're dating somebody who's not a believer that is called being unequally yoked together with an unbeliever but you say but wait a minute pastor here's the problem you've shared that with us that we're supposed to share our faith that that's all i'm doing i'm really a missionary in the dating field i'm missionary dating and all well the bottom line is is if i stand on the lip of this platform here it's easier for you to pull me down than for me to pull you up and in relationships when you are unequally yoked together with an unbeliever you will be pulled down and the question has to be asked why would you find that a good thing you see in second chrithian 6 verse 14 we're commanded do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers for what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness what communion has light with darkness the fact that a believer would be interested in an unbeliever shows more about the believer's faith in christ than it does the unbelief of the unbeliever what is it about that person that you like so much now if they are believers how would you describe their walks with the lord you see after marriage you may begin to grow in your faith and they may not want to right now you may be fine but you have to you have to see if you're progressing together in the things of the lord so is your faith and your walk with christ growing because of this relationship or is it actually slowly fading away we've had people who for example in our own fellowship have have met somebody while they're serving the lord they were even serving together but once they started dating they stopped serving and instead of going forward they began going backwards so in your relationship do you ever read the word do you ever fellowship do you pray together do you witness if your friends were asked about you do your friends consider you a christian couple or do they see you just as a couple of people who are just dating do you attend the same church are you willing to leave your church for them if they don't want to go to your church does that matter to you who is the spiritual leader if you can't make it to church do they go without you or do they just stay home because you didn't go they're not going to go you know in our fellowship we had guys who who become you know super christians when they're dating the girl and they win the girl over but in fact they're not really serving the lord they're not really walking with the lord not that deeply they come to church because you know there are girls here and maybe they can meet when and take her out and all in that and the girl's taking it you know seriously she's thinking that this guy really cares about her when in fact you know if she doesn't come to church neither does he if that happens in your life keep an eye on that because that's going to be the pattern if you get married are you physically pure in your relationship are they expecting to be sexually active are you living together I mentioned this a moment ago if you're living together that is called in scripture fornication but today we simply say we're engaged no you're engaged in sin but you're not engaged in the purest sense of the word you're not preparing for marriage you're acting as if you are that's called sin it's fornication how do your family and friends feel about your relationship do they ever make mention of it do they ever say something about the girl or the guy did they ever say anything like that to you I remember when when I I was even dating Marie who became my wife I she just came over after church with two of her roommates and and I still remember she came and my sat down with my mom in the in the kitchen they had a cup of coffee or something and we're visiting and and then when Marie and her two roommates left I still remember my mom looking at me and she said I like the little brown one I'll never forget that I like that little brown one my mom fell in love with Marie the day that she met her what do your family and friends feel about your relationship what do they say do you find yourself making excuses for them dear friends well you don't understand him you don't really get her you don't know do you make excuses for him do you make excuses to friends and even strangers sometimes he's not always like this she's not always doing those kinds of things do you make excuses for them regularly do you feel forced to stay with them because you've been with them for so long maybe you've committed yourself sexually to them and now you think that you have to stay with them do you think that they are the best you can get so you might as well live with it when you look at them are they overly dependent are they selfish are they jealous do they have a hot temper do they ever hit you do they do they look at your phone messages do they monitor your social media you know you walk out of the room and a moment later you come in and you see them on your phone to see who you've been messaging who you're talking to that's that's not a good thing that's a bad thing that's a jealousy that you don't want you see there's a difference between having a committed sense of relationship and a jealousy that is possessive in controlling you need to be aware of that you deserve your own private life especially if you're dating you deserve your own private friends that's something that should be part of who you are and if they're always trying to control who you hang around with and what you do and you even have to go so far as to ask them permission you know asking permission of a boyfriend or girlfriend do you mind if i if i go with my friends we're going to watch the game together well you don't want to be with me what's wrong with me i like the game what game are you going to watch no i don't like being with you you're a boston fan we have a boston hat right here i'm looking right at it's burning it's burning put that down put that down in jesus name you quench the spirit bro but are they jealous are they hot tempered are they controlling are they always getting into your social media do they tell you who to hang around with do they do you have to ask permission do you mind if i go do you mind if i this or that why would you do that you're dating that's not part of your relationship do they have um children from a previous relationship or marriage and can you love and accept those kids as if they're they're your own and here's another question that goes along with that you may be able to do that but will they let you will they allow you to love their children and to be apparent to them that's a very important thing in blended families will they allow that when you're with other people how do they treat other people how do they feel about your family what do they say to you about them the way they speak about your dad your mom and brother sister the way they speak about your family is giving you a clue as to how they're going to be when you're married whether they're going to want to ever go over whether they're going to want to go to thanksgiving or Easter or Christmas or celebrate birthdays or whatever you may have a family that's extended they may have a family that's very small their idea may be that they just want to have their own thing with you but you you're the kind of person who wants to bring all kinds of people in and i'm telling you that's going to cause nothing but problems if you don't work that out you need to be aware of those things because they don't really change how often do you see them and say you say you had a date and you're dropping them off and you're driving home and all of a sudden your your phone rings and it's them it has only been a minute you just pulled out you're just driving on street ring ring ring are you thinking of me i'm thinking of you do you miss me shut up shut up shut up when marina i dated i was teaching bible studies on monday night and i would ask her out for our dates on monday night i say would you like to go out and she'd say of course and i say naturally and then but i wouldn't talk to her again until the day whether it's a friday or a saturday that's the next time i talked to her i wasn't rushing home calling up hello are you sleepy well just put the phone next to your pillow and just fall asleep and i'll listen to you it soothes me no i didn't do that i had something it was called a life and it didn't are you doing domestic duties for them are you doing their wash and all of that making meals for them doing wash is a very personal thing you shouldn't be doing things like that but some girls end up doing the laundry for them you shouldn't be doing that are you doing that kind of thing for them are you acting as if you're a wife but you're not married be careful are they always borrowing money from you or your friends you know and and do they like nice things do they charge up their cards in order to buy them do you if you're a girl do you end up paying them maybe you do this today but do you end up paying for the dates saying to yourself well we're eventually going to get married and so you're paying for all the dates and i've said this every time but i think of it marie got mad at me for spending ten dollars on a date but that's all she had if she had more i just spent more what are the kinds of things that they do that irritate you have you noticed the guy to be something i i've said this again i say this every time i teach this but i used to do the premarital counseling and the guy would be in front of me and and the bride to be i i call her the bride to be and i would call him the victim and as he was there i would say to the victim i would say i would say what is it about her that irritates you anything at all oh no they never did they were just like dear in the headland then they look at her anything no okay nothing you know do you have anything that there's anything that she does about her anything maybe her laugh is kind of irritating i mean any anything no no she's fine she's good everything's good everything not a single thing no so i'd look at her and you is there anything this is true is there anything about him that needs to change she pulled out this notebook oh yeah he's going to stop this he's going to stop that he's going to do this he's going to start bathing i mean he's wash his feet i mean they're going to be things about him that change he's not going to clip his nails in the they always had a list the guys didn't so you have to be real you have to yes ask your ask yourself is this going to be okay because i'm telling you they don't change they don't change it just is part of who they are and unless you discuss these things and unless you see there are irritations at all i promise you they'll just they'll follow you right into your marriage so you need to be real you need to understand that do you really know them are they people you really really gotten to know are they quiet you know for me my family my on my father's side are they're they're all quiet my uncles were all very quiet and so if i was at a rosalis kind of thing a function with my uncles my dad had several several brothers and as little we'd go over the uncles would just kind of talk amongst themselves but it was always real quiet and so i got used to being around a lot of quiet men and so you know quiet's fine with me i don't have a problem now my wife marie can be she's really outgoing my wife me i'm really kind of like the opposite i'm real reserved and so we had to learn how to work together because my brother told me my brother said to me david listen if you're a jealous man don't date marie she has friends everywhere everywhere and i said no i'm good i'm good he said i'm telling you so i take marie to the movies and the movie's over and we're on one side of the theater and she stands up and she sees oh i know him she goes and rushes over there touches this guy in the shoulder and says hi how are you i'm in class with you at she was in college at that time i'm in class with you and he looks at her and i'm standing looking at him like no i didn't i'm just standing there like whatever and so i remembered my brother's words he said david if you're jealous don't go out with her because this girl has friends everywhere and that's true to this day my wife is just an amazingly friendly person true to this day we're on a flight home i've told you this before we're flying home from israel i'm seated at an aisle seat marie's in the center seat there's a woman seated next to marie on her left next to the window and marie turns to the woman she says to the woman she says to the woman something the woman speaks hebrew and doesn't speak english at all she says in broken english that she doesn't speak english she's jewish and i'm i'm looking out i still remember looking out at the aisle and i'm saying to myself oh how is she going to do this she's going to find a way she is going to find a way she is going to find a way now and she's going to be laughing with her and she will be crying i mean we're going to be flying for 16 hours she's going to find a way she don't want to talk to me because she knows i'm going to read to close my eyes and so what is she going to do you know what she true story what she does is she turns to the woman the woman speaks hebrew and marie's just staring at her and i'm thinking okay she'll find a way marie speaks spanish to her the woman was a spanish jew all the way home true story we get to the we get to the airport the woman's crying with marie kissing each other exchanging phone numbers she's kissing me and my kids you know me hi does that there hi how are you and i'm not a hebrew well i'm sorry so you have to be aware of those kinds of things you know and and that's just part of it you have to be aware of those kinds of things and just get get get used to it so are they what kind of personality you have to learn those things here's another one are they free to date are they able to date now if they're separated married and separated they're still married if you cannot marry them you shouldn't be dating them but there are believers today who say well they're separated keep this in mind they're still married you should not be dating someone who's married and if they're a believer also could it be that you may get in between them and a reconciliation with their present husband or wife and by you entering into that relationship you could actually prevent god from moving in the way he wants to because you want to have a relationship if they are not free to marry they are not free to date don't be dating separated people and then finally is this really god's best for you or are you just getting older and anxious listen wait wait and pray for the lord to bring into your life that right person again i always share this i'll share it again today i was teaching a bible study in ontario and i wanted a relationship but i was i was nervous that i would make a poor choice because i could be impetuous and perhaps just just get connected in a in a deep way with some of that i'm not supposed to be connected to i'd i had just broken up with a young woman she broke up with me i shouldn't say i broke her you broke up with me and uh i hate her to this day no i she broke up with me and and and all and so i thought you know what i just don't want to just be anxious about i just don't i've been too much for too long i just don't so i prayed a friend of mine had said out of this passage the lord god caused deep sleep to fall on adam he said i prayed that and i asked god to put me to sleep to my desires and so i did that i actually literally said father as you put adam to sleep to his desires and you brought eve to the man in jesus name i want to just serve you i will seek your kingdom first and your righteousness all these things will be added to me i know that if i delight myself in you you will give to me the desire of my heart and part of the desire of my heart is to be completed in marriage lord i would like to have a bride i i mean i don't hold back from the lord i told him my heart i would like to be married but lord i don't want to get in a relationship with the wrong person there's something worse than being alone and that's being with the wrong person in jesus name father helped me to sleep and so my brother got saved and i started driving from norwalk to the city of ontario and i started teaching just my brother so my my sister and i would drive and just my brother he began to invite friends from his work and then one day a young woman came walking in and her name was marie and as she walked in she looked at me i looked at her my brother said this is marie and i just nodded my head and said hi how are you it's just a small bible study maybe six people eight people the phone rings my brother says marie it's for you she goes into the other room it's only like 10 feet from me 15 feet from me and she's on the phone giggling and laughing sits down next to her girlfriend and and says to her friend jon she says uh oh i'm someone i could see her and they start giggling i don't know her from eve i have never met this girl but something inside me said i'm going to make her giggle about me someday i don't even know where that came from but i did i said i'm going to make her giggle about me someday and then after the study she comes she's a very friendly girl she comes walking up to me she was a college girl she comes up and she says hi what's your sign because she was into that horoscope that all the kids at that time were into a horoscope horoscope so she says what's your sign i said the fish and she says oh you're a Pisces and i said no i said the ichthus i said i'm a Christian i don't go for that garbage that was our first heart to heart i don't go for that garbage i said i followed jesus christ she goes oh so anyway we're driving home my sister and i and i turned to my sister madeline and i said i just met the girl i'm going to marry she was not a christian i didn't date her i didn't ask her out i just knew that i knew that i knew so i turned to my sister i said i just met the girl i'm going to marry i used to be a coach so i was coaching some kids they were 11 years old and i'm telling 11 year old hey i just met the girl i'm going to marry and they're going around that's great throw me the ball coach but i had to tell everybody my sister madeline led marie to faith in christ about three weeks later in the bible study or they had gotten together to go out together and about a month and a half later marie and i started dating and we've never been apart since so the lord brought the woman to me and so i've shared this story so many times my son joseph is talking to me one day and he says dad said you know that that prayer that you prayed about before your mom i said yeah he said dad he goes uh i mean i have a problem i said what may it be and he said well i prayed that he said because i want to make sure that i get the right girl in my life i said that's a wise thing to do wait on the lord he said well dad here's my problem i only prayed that about two three weeks ago and i met a girl he said and i'm feeling like i'm betraying jesus because i said to him put me to sleep and and now there's this girl that i'm really interested in dad and he said i started laughing i said son i've never finished the story i said i i prayed it in two weeks later i met your mom what do you think i went to a mountain eight granola for months so what am i going to do and suddenly she comes on a yak i said no you know it didn't happen like that i said i just i just said god put me to sleep i met your mama within two weeks he says oh great now he's married to her and they're gonna have their first baby in march they're gonna have a little girl named olivia erin and they've been married for like eight years and all but see the bottom line of that story is simply i see that the lord god caused a deep sleep to fall on adam he slept and the lord brought the woman i really believe i wanted to be and i still encourage that to others be asleep to your own desires and allow god to work in your life well what happens he's asleep notice adam in verse 23 adam said this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman because she was taken out of man picture that he's asleep and he opens his eyes and there's eve when it says here by the way this is now this is now literally speaks of a tapping of the foot musically he actually when he sees her he sings he sings i mean it's amazing to me when you get the picture he's asleep then his eyes open and there's eve standing in front of him and what's the first thing he does finally because that's what it means this is now finally at last this is it and he's saying isn't that beautiful he's saying kind of a rap thing you know whatever anyway this is now bone of my bones flesh of my flesh she shall be called woman she was taken out of man what a beautiful thing for him to do he opened his eyes he saw her and he's saying that's what love actually can be you open your eyes and your heart sings that's how god intends it to be anything less than that i don't want i want to have that thing i have had it for many years now of waking up in the morning and seeing her and seeing her and you have a song in your heart because at last he brought her to me and when a man has that for his wife and the wife knows it the wife is fulfilled and she will love him more really than he could actually love her because the more he loves her the more she loves him it's not a 50 50 i'll give you 50 percent you give me no it's a hundred and 150 because the more i love my girl the more she loves me back which makes me love her more and that she loves me more and it's a good thing does that mean that we never argue no it doesn't mean that at all she's wrong sometimes it simply means that we've learned that we're better together than apart we're more with each other than when we're alone we have become one and that's god's intent therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother should cleave into his wife and the two shall become one flesh so the man is intended to leave and create a new family entity the man and his wife he leaves mama he leaves dad this is actually something that is brought in by moses obviously he's speaking about what takes place after that but a man leaves he cleaves they're united the cleaving speaks about like gluing two sheets of plywood together and it's cleaving pressed together becomes the one that's why opening it shatters the interior that's why divorce is so destructive because the two were intended to become one and so that's what moses is saying and then he goes on to say they were both naked the man and his wife they weren't ashamed shame entered into the world because of sin but it didn't exist before the fall and they were a perfect couple in the first and perfect marriage god intends marriage to complete us because without her i'm not complete with her i'm what god intended me to be and that's why it is wise and was wise for me and it would be wise for any single to seek the lord for the right person because divorce was never a part of marina my plan we've married one time for all time we're really both of us in it's about it but it's very true there's only one woman for me only one never be another there's only one man for her only one they'll never be another that's the way it is that's the way it is with us and i'm good with that i don't want anybody else because we're one that's marriage father we asked that you would work in us so that that would be true in our marriages and for those lord who are single i would pray lord that those who are unmarried would wait on the best that you would have for them lord i asked that in the meantime that as we're growing individually those who are single those unmarried i would ask that they might be cultivating their walk with you so that when the day comes when the person that you would have for them enters into their life they would be the best version of themselves that they could ever be lord that they might be improving in their walk so that they really would be a gift to the person that they unite in marriage with so i lift this up to you and i pray father through this series that you you will help us to be very practical about some very deep things and that lord in jesus name this family this church family these believers all of us would walk closer to you in the end and so even as our eyes are closed our heads are bowed there may be some right now in this room who need prayer you need to get right with the lord i'd like to pray for you and if you do need prayer and you need to be right with him right now would you raise your hand to let me pray for you right where you're at father you see these hands you know the reason why they're being raised in jesus name i asked that you would reach down and touch them and father i asked that you would just work in them in whatever way is necessary that you would have your way in them lord is our prayer washing cleanse fill with your presence if there are decisions they have to make concerning themselves or relationships and father you'll be the one who guides them and may they make the best decision possible be with them lord in every way have your way in them we give you blessings and praise for this lord and we thank you thank you lord you can put your hands down and jesus please keep working in us and i ask this in your name amen let's all stand that's your introduction we're going to pick up next week we're going to have a 10 week series on wives and we're going to skip the husbands actually we'll be looking at the role of the wife next week and then the following will be the role of the husband and then on and on so if you have friends that maybe will benefit from this particular series you might want to invite them because if there's anything that the church is struggling with right now it's their marriages the number one thing that we counsel here in church is marriage number one in raising kids and that's one of the reasons why i feel it's necessary and in our society the number one thing that's destroying our society people so often say oh it's bad government it's bad families it's bad families because the church is built on families jesus christ but the church is built with families government needs families so the number one thing that we really need to work with is our marriages because when you have strong marriages you can have a strong nation and a strong church and so we're going to spend time looking at marriage and if you have any friends who might need some instruction and encouragement please bring them