 You know, a lot of times we say, oh, our parents and our parents' parents, they stay together longer and shit like that. Your dad was satisfied. No, he had the baddest bitch in the city. Now, if you go on Instagram, you can see the baddest bitches in every single city. And there's this insatiable, unquenchable appetite that we have for like, there might be better. And in fact, dudes, too, there might be better, they might be better, they might be better. And unfortunately, like, it always comes back to what do you want? Do you want to be happy, content, build longevity with somebody? Do you want to raise beautiful children who are stable in the whole nine? Or do you want to keep chasing a high? Right? Because like, even when we talk about crack users, for instance, the reason why they're addicted to crack is because the first high was so good that they constantly keep chasing it. I just want to build with you. Black girl, tell me how you really feel. I want to keep it real with you. I want to live better, eat better. I want to love better, sleep better. Yeah, I want to feel so aligned. Let's tackle the submission part. Okay. As you say that, as a woman rise up the corporate ladder, her income increases through her entrepreneurship vendors. Yes. As she goes up and her income goes up, the amount of men that she'll be attracted to at that level goes down. Because by nature, we want a man that's more. We want a man making more. We want a man who's smarter. Or if I'm a lawyer, I want the guy to own the damn law firm, or I want him to be the top famous lawyer. By nature, we want that guy to be way more than what we've done. And the economy hasn't been able to sustain, well, to foster that in black men. Whereas black women have arguably done that for themselves. Now, is it women that have to submit at that level? How can a man who makes less than, if a woman's making $200,000 a year and she ends up marrying a man who makes $60K a year, the argument can be made, that man now needs to adapt to maybe let go of the old way of doing things. Maybe not coming, not going to the relationship wanting that woman to submit to him. Because obviously, if she's making $200K a year, I don't know how she could go home and submit in the old fashioned way. If we're talking about respect, that's a different story. If we're talking about love, cherish and do all those nice things that are required to have a sustainable healthy relationship. Yes. But that word submission, I think that's one of those words that we need to tackle and possibly move away from. So the best definition I've gotten for submission was actually from Courtney Michelle. And she said submission is simply submitting to my mission. How can I submit to your mission if mine is taking care of the household? Let me explain. So I think a lot of times when we talk about submission, we talk about it like a tyrannical dictatorship. Bitch, you better be home. And I think that's an unfair categorization because I don't think that's what submission actually is, right? Submission is literally, for me, who's driving the car? Who's driving the proverbial car? Who's working in GPS, right? 99% of men want to drive the car. Now, with that being said, I'm advocating for men to own the law firms and to become as great as possible so they can bless your life. So but with that being said, with that being said, like you said, there are things that have been put in place. I would argue strategically to make sure that Black women are rising quicker than Black men because it's a self-perpetuating emasculation cycle. With that being said, I ask women who are these $200,000 a year earners, what do you want? Because number one, your $200,000 a year does not make you more competitive. It does, I agree. Your secretary has a better, easier chance of getting the owner of the law firm than you do, especially if she looks better, especially if she's more feminine, especially if she's softer, more submissive in the whole night. But again, unfortunately, I think what happens is women grade themselves on a masculine curriculum. So you'll see a group of girls that'll be like, oh, my home girl's a lawyer and my other home girl owns a law firm and this one is a doctor and this and that. I'm like, they're great men. But men, the first question we ask is what she look like. She got titties ass. That's what we care about. What is she like? She cooked the whole nine. So again, if those women, I'm not saying decrease your income because so you can have an easier time but understand men are grading you differently than you might expect them to. So if you want to be competitive, start strengthening those aspects so you can become competitive and understand the statistics. What percentage of men actually make more than me? Right. And if I'm willing to compete, I can get that man. But if I'm not willing to compete to get those 1% men that unfortunately, I'm not separating myself from the competition by making more. Because like I said, your secretary probably has an easier chance to get him than you do. Now, so with that being said, should I continue to prioritize income or should I start looking for other masculine traits that I can submit to? This man, he's a God-fearing man. He doesn't make as much money as me, but he's a man of principle. He doesn't make as much money than me, but he's an awesome, fantastic father. He's a community leader. He's an organizer. Shit, Bill Gates' wife after they got a divorce, she got with the teacher. If you still want to be that unconventional woman who's this boss chicken, the whole nine, you also have to be unconventional in your priority list. But if you expect to still be attractive to these top guys, you have to understand, they give no shit to about your $200,000 a year. They care if you can cook. Now, with that being said, goes back to the opportunity costs. Typically, women like that have, you ever seen somebody who works out their upper body a lot, but their legs are skinny? That's what ends up being, they're top heavy. Either you can strengthen your legs or you can decide, okay, maybe I don't need to go to the NBA. Maybe I could just be the best player at the YMCA. I get an average guy, good guy, guy of integrity in the whole nine. But if women are expecting men to change or the economy of men like you were saying to catch up, unfortunately, because of white supremacy, because of literally men in general, the way men are set up, that's not going to happen at the rate that we want. And a lot of women, unfortunately, are going to be left because we don't live in a polygamous society. So only one secretary is going to get that top dude. So do you think that's fair? Do you think women can get on board with that? I think just as I'm advocating for men to set themselves apart or do away with certain ideologies of the 1950s relationship that we glorify so much, women can also compromise on, like you said, prioritizing, because if I make 200k a year, I don't realistically need a man who makes half a meal. If I make 200k a year, a man making half a meal is not going to, well, it's evident, right? A lot of those women are single, so I know they understand that that doesn't lead to what you value most, which is having a family one day and bearing your own children. So in order for women to achieve that, the dream I'm going to have my career, like you said, realistically, is either have your career or your business, your six-figure business, and go for the guy that makes less than you and prioritize other valuable things like integrity, God fearing in the whole nine yards, or prioritize relationship from young, where if you're young and you're not making any money, by its very nature, a lot of men around you will make more than you. And you will have success that way, and you will achieve that hypergamous idea of relationship if you do get that man. That's realistically, you have choices, right? So if you choose one path, those are the results. If you choose the other, you get this type of result. So I think that we need to educate more women on that, more young women. And if you choose the career path, this is most likely the type of man that you'll end up with. You know why women don't understand that? I don't think we're educating them on that. I didn't understand that. I think it's two things. I think it's that. I think we're not educating them on that, but I also think we're educating them in the opposite direction. Like most women are growing up, or most girls are growing up on fairy tales, where literally you get both. Now, men understand, and this is a brash example, men understand, if I asked your boyfriend right now, it's like, if she got big old titties, she probably got a flat ass. Men understand compromise. We understand the dude on the team who's fast as shit. It's probably not strong. The nigga who's strong is probably slow. The nigga that jump high probably can't shoot. We understand these things. Whereas women, I think, you start from fairy tales, then you enter rom-coms and shit. It's like, yeah, he's Brad Pitt, and he got a jawline, and he makes a bunch of money, and he can fight, and it's like women never actually have to like, okay, on this list of shit of my dream man, put it in priority order. We literally pray for it all. We do too. You don't think we want a woman with a fat ass of victims? We won't vote too, but we understand. Give me 80% I'll be all right. No, no. I don't know any woman. Unless it's, let me get him at his bare minimum, and I'll build them up. Or not at all. Or all of it. I don't think we understand the in-between. What's evident about this way so many black women are single? We don't really prioritize the in-between. I have a good man. He's able to provide. He's able to protect. I'm good. That's it. But overall, I was going to add that, I mean, overall, this appetite that we have now, it's across the board. We want all of it. We want all the cars. We want the biggest house. We want everything, and that's what the economy does, and I believe that transferred over to a relationship. We've applied the same things in a relationship context. You can possibly, to hope all these companies sell the hope of finding it all. Tender or plenty of fish or many others. They sell the possibility and the hope of finding it all by swiping your fingers or whatever way you're doing it with your finger now. But if you live in a society where there's thousands of people on the palm of your hands and you can just go through your phone and swipe left, swipe right, and meet somebody that has those qualities. If they don't, I mean, they're dispensable. Just go back on your phone and easily meet someone else. I think that's, I don't know if that's a black. No, I think that right there is a universal problem because a lot of times we say, oh, our parents and our parents' parents, they stay together longer and shit like that. Your dad was satisfied. No, he had the baddest bitch in the city. Now, Instagram, you can see the baddest bitches in every single city and there's this insatiable, unquenchable appetite that we have for like, there might be better. And in fact, dudes too. There might be better, there might be better, there might be better. And unfortunately, like it always comes back to what do you want? Do you want to be happy, content, build longevity with somebody? Do you want to raise beautiful children who are stable in the whole nine? Or do you want to keep chasing a high? Right? Because like even when we talk about crack users, for instance, the reason why they're addicted to crack is because the first high was so good that they constantly keep chasing it. So it's the chasing for what I had before. And that's where we are. This hamster wheel of the swiping and there's somebody better and we don't work anything out. I'll just to the left, to the left. In addition to that, we have a unity problem. We don't believe in unity, number one, and just going back to the, refocusing back to the black community. We don't believe in unity. And number two, I don't see that black Americans believe in the institution of marriage very much. And I do believe back on a universal scale, we all face the same relational problems. One evident of that that I've noticed, I don't know if anyone else picked up on this, but me and my boyfriend watched the show, The Ultimatum. If you notice, all the couples had issues. The white couples had unbelievable issues that it, it took everybody back that they even got married and at the end, all the white couples ended up married. At the end of the show, I believe, if I'm not wrong, majority of them just leave room because I don't remember every every little detail about the show. Majority of the black, of the white couples ended up marrying each other. One couple, one girl, she didn't even want to have children. The other one was, if a black man had still married her, we would be calling him beta. We would be calling him names, right? Another white couple, one other girl, wanted to have sex with another man live on TV and they still ended up getting married and had children right after. The black couples, however, the black couples by the end, they were all broken up or came back. One of them stayed, only one, only one of the black couple got married. So if you have four sets of white couples, four sets of black couples, all four of the white couples got married, even with all their problems and the red flags as the black community would call it. But the black couples, they either broke up and only one got married. And a second couple, I believe, broke up and got back together. So they're just soju on a universal scale. We're all human. We're more alike than we're different. We all suffer from the same problems. The only difference is black people don't believe in unity. And we don't believe in the institution of marriage. I can replace you, go on about my life. I can continue on with life. And that's both genders problems, right? Both genders decided to break up. It wasn't the woman. Whereas right now, we're blaming women for the breakups. 70% of marriages are filed by women. We're painting the picture of women are just getting up one day and saying, you know what? I don't think I want to be married anymore. That's the picture that's being painted. That's more complicated than that. Correct. And I think just on a surface joke level, women are the ones who walk away from relationship. Men don't walk away. We check out. We know this, right? So it's not, obviously, it's not the men that's going to follow the photo divorce. So every time I hear that stat, I'm like, are they living in real world? Obviously, men don't follow the divorce. Men don't even walk away from relationships, right? They do other things that forces the woman to walk away from the relationship or whatever. That's mine. I think that's beautiful that you bring that up. That's my assessment. Because that's why context is so important because it's easy to just focus on the number until you try to investigate it. You're like, well, women follow, but that doesn't necessarily mean that the dude hasn't been checked out since 99. Correct. And if we ask those men, they probably won't tell you. They probably won't tell you, yeah, man. I just be going with the motions now. I just try to stay out of way and stuff. You are very interesting for me primarily because, number one, you currently live in Canada. So you're not even American. On top of not being American by citizenship, you're also Haitian. So this is the two-part question. Number one, how has your background, like your ethnic and your country background shaped your understanding of this conversation? And then the second half is what are the similarities you see with the divide with black men and black women that you see on YouTube or in America versus what happens in Canada or even you could throw in Haiti as well? I think one major similarity is I would say that Haitian women are raised by their parents. We grow up to be responsible faster than our black men. So that's one major similarity that I notice within the Haitian community and the black American community as well. It's very matriarchal as well. Whereas I would say there's more fathers in the Haitian community, not because the relationships are perfect, but because I believe the Haitians still believe in that unity and the institution of marriage and how it benefits children. So parents would stay together for the sake of children similar to white folks. And that's great. That's benefited. My brothers and I, of course, right having both parents in the home and not being introduced to a new man. Thank God my parents decided to stay together. So I think majorly that's the one huge similarity whereas our parents raise our daughters and teach us a lot of values. But whereas for the men, I would say the men in the Haitian community and the black American community, the men are more so loved by their mothers and coddled by the mothers. Mothers give them more empathy. Mothers give them more lenience to get away with more stuff. The boundaries are wider for for boys growing up in the home than it is for women. So now we could have a generation of many responsible young women. I know there are bum women out there, but that doesn't come to mind a lot. A majority of women find a way to make money whereas you'll find a guy that's homeless and drives women's cars. You don't often see that in women. So in essence, you can make the argument that majority of women are responsible or they find a way to take care of themselves mostly. So that's one major similarity. I think a second similarity I would say is it's been interesting to me that, wow, no matter where we are, colonial needs like slavery and the slave trade and our colonizers did a number on us for us all to be this way, despite wherever we are. That's been the number one shocking thing to me. Another way that I understand this conversation is because our parents in the home don't really, we don't really have this conversation until maybe it's too late, until maybe they notice their daughters are not doing as well in the dating market. The conversation happens really, really, really late. Our parents don't prioritize relationships for this generation. And if they do, it's often not in a positive light or and if they do, it's just simple. When are you going to get married? Like when are you, are you dating or are you seeing anyone? I don't even think they even asked that of women. There's no dating conversations happening in the home or how to pick a guy. We don't get any instructions. And I think for me as a woman, I think I was starting for that type of conversation in my household. And I think that would have helped a lot. So I don't know if there's a right way for us to do it in the future with our children. I think opening up that door to have that conversation and making our kids comfortable to just speak to us, however way they speak to their friends, I think that's going to help future generations a lot.