 So I recently had a call with a client of mine and he asked me to help him understand the difference between things you don't want to do but you Think you should do you know I should do this I should do that and things that you do want to do and you just Want to do them it didn't you know sometimes you don't want to do them, but you do them anyway So I'm sorry if I confused you right now, but Maybe You're gonna understand much more in a moment so one of my most precious and Personal topics is the whole idea of being yourself I mean many videos about this even have a Playlist about this called be fully yourself or be yourself fully and It's a topic that I've been Struggling with my whole life feeling weird feeling feel like I'm the outcast, you know, it could be socially business wise Even towards myself Like I always felt like I didn't fit in something was wrong wrong with me I needed to change something about myself or the truth was I was the only guy that was like normal So, you know people would be like wasting time like not doing anything kind of like You know sitting not doing anything and I would be with them and I would be like Shouldn't we do something productive and everybody would look at me like I'm fucking crazy or You know on the personal level As I've said, you know, I've been really judgmental of myself Spent Literally years of my life in judgment like oh you should do this you should have done that You should have done that you should have done that you should do this this should happen and Just being judgmental over myself because I couldn't you know step up to really and in you know impossible to achieve goals Forced myself to do things. I didn't want to do so It was just it was just really really bad it was really bad in general and Even the whole subject of money I've spent so many years just chasing after money When I didn't even you know, it's not that I don't care about money It's that it's not what motivates me what motivates me is again. It's attention. It's helping people It's living my dreams. That's what motivates me and I just chased money so so it's a really really deep topic for me and Again the client was like, okay, how do I you know tell the difference like where do I where do I cross the line? because he knows that our goal together working together is Creating like I said the three keys the three opinions of principles that creating a life That you do what you love where you grow and get rewarded for it and I explained to him that That his problem was with articles like he really really really hated doing articles And he knows that articles are you know something you can do to grow So he literally got to a point where you had to ask his mom to call him and remind him to Do the fucking articles and like force him to do it so I explained to him you know you shouldn't do the articles because Imagine like what if this works? What if the articles actually work and you get twice as much results because of them? And people are like we want more articles like now instead of doing one article every day you'll have to do two I Mean you'll be miserable even if you get successful You'll be miserable because again it violates the first criteria. It has to be something you love Not just something that rewards you and grows so I Asked him about making videos because he likes making videos and I said would you do it for free? He said yeah So that's one way to know is would you do it for free like would you do it if there was no? reward from doing it, you know just for the sake of doing it the second thing is I Asked him. Do you think it's a net gain or a net loss? To be more precise he asked me how much do I lose if I don't do the articles So I explained to him you actually gain because if you hate doing the articles and you spend all your time like you know thinking about it and Using up your willpower and just not not being happy You know it takes away from your motivation your willpower It takes your time and it's so it's a net loss So imagine if you just take this one activity away you actually have a lot more free time You'll feel better you have more discipline to apply in other areas So if you have if you feel like you have to do it if it's something you don't love you'll actually gain more by removing it Now thirdly I asked him and that's my best indicator personally I asked him Do you find yourself leaning towards? the activity or leaning away from the activity like imagine You go towards something you can lean forward like yeah, I can't wait to get to it. Are you looking you can lean back like I Don't know Okay, I want to Looking forward so When you lean towards something It's like let's say about let's say it's a video a day and that's what it is for him something he really likes Even if he's tired even if he's depressed even if he's you know for example the camera doesn't work He's not gonna be like he's gonna be you know, he's gonna be like oh shit, you know, it doesn't work I need to make it work. I want to do the video today. Oh, fuck it. We'll just use the camp You know, we'll just use the phone camera or maybe he's depressed you back fuck I hate being depressed because I want to make the video But the goals where you lean away lean back you look for an excuse not to do them So it's like oh, I'm sick. Yeah, I don't need to do it or oh the camera is not working Okay, so no not today So you actually look to relieve yourself from the burden of doing it. So that's like for me the best way to know if I Want to do something truly want to do it if I should incorporate it into my life It's you know, am I leaning back or am I leaning forward if I'm leaning forward it means I'm looking forward to it I want to do it. I'll do it even though, you know, even if I have excuses and If I'm leaning backwards I'll try to avoid it whatever it takes, you know, and and just and even when I do it's like Fine, I'll do it, you know So don't violate the first principle never do something that you don't love to do But again, you have to apply all three principles So it's not enough to just do something you'll do Because you might do something you love to do, but you'll be broke and you won't grow So there's no going out of it you might do something were you for example love to do but You don't really see rewards from it, but you grow well in that case I Mean if you don't mind, you know That that sounds like mother Teresa to be honest, you know, like you grow gets bigger You love it, but where's the reward, you know, where's the part where you get what you want to get not just, you know the people Finally you have the No growth which I told you about which will also fuck you up Because you'll get miserable because you'll do what you love you get rewarded, but then when the growth stops You'll feel miserable because you're just wasting your time So again, this happened to me from experience. So again It must be something you love or else Why are you even alive? dummy It must be something that rewards you or else You know, I'm not that kind of person that can live in poverty And just do charity. I need to feel good inside first and Finally it needs to be something that Can grow and must grow Or else you'll be miserable because we are built to grow not to stay where we are Even Bill Gates gets pissed off if his net worth doesn't grow So hope this video helped you I'm sorry for this video in the last video being a bit unclear I'm in a pretty fuzzy mood today. So I find my videos being a bit unclear lately But tomorrow would be better. So let me know if you have any questions Let me know if I helped you. Let me know if you want me to coach you Please like comment, you know subscribe if you haven't Support me love me My book will be out soon. It's taking a bit more than I thought because Apparently what I thought would be a 200 page book is now in almost 350 page book and Thanks for watching dudes and dudettes keep keep keep being awesome