 Tens of millions of dollars. They were losing I think a hundred and thirty million dollars hundred and forty million dollars And he turned that around in a few years to a thirty million dollar profit and he did it with all the same people So meaning he didn't just fire everybody and hire a bunch of new people the same people who were losing a hundred and thirty million dollars Before he came in as CEO were suddenly, you know instrumental to making thirty million dollars a profit after that What's up everybody and welcome to the show today we drop great content each and every week And we want to make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that You're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friend Well, welcome to the show Peter. We're excited to talk about change with you Thanks AJ. I'm very excited to be here Now we've all heard the truism that you can't change other people You can only change yourself Why do we believe this myth and struggle so much with changing others? You know, it's because we try to change people in the wrong ways, you know, people don't resist change They resist being changed, you know, we all make changes in our lives. We change jobs. We get married We have babies we change careers. We build careers. We get education. We do all of this stuff So I'm very willing to change but if you try to change me that reflects my loss of control it reflects my loss of autonomy and I'm gonna push back and so so the the way in which we try to change people often generates the kind of resistance that we end up Complaining about when we say you can't change other people. You can only change yourself. I have to Completely agree with you there and not only that I see that in myself More than anything and AJ and I have been working together for close to 15 over 15 years now and That is certainly how I am about things. I don't like strenuous pressures and And any time I start to feel that it angers me and it puts the brakes on anything that I'm doing And I'm happy to change and I love to be growth-minded and always looking for opportunities to grow However, those outside forces certainly do number on me You know Johnny, I really appreciate that and I appreciate you saying it and also like I noticed that I React to my own sort of Adult self trying to control myself I react with that way and what I'm thinking about is you know, I have a sugar thing like I love sugar I like ice cream I and I know it's like not healthy for me and not a good idea to eat You know like a whole pint of Ben and Jerry's like that's just not you know smart But I'll start eating it and then my in my mind I'll say Peter You know, you really shouldn't be eating this like this is not healthy for you. It's not smart It's not aligned with your goals and my response will be screw you. I'll get to you whatever I want You know like I resist my own You know the the the control that I try to put on myself I resist that which is why you know, then we say well, we have really weak willpower and but it's it's not that it's you know I have very strong willpower It's it's that we resist being changed even when we feel like that strong hand of change is coming from ourselves What I've also found is that often times when others are changing me I feel the need to rationalize that I'm the one in control of the change Absolutely So when I think about my relationship with my fiancee She's definitely had an impact on me But I will always rationalize that that these were my choices in the change that this was my idea Yes, sure. I'm dressing completely differently, but that's good. I want to dress completely differently. I look pretty good, right? Exactly Now we also know that change is a part of organizations growing and you argue It's really the most important skill that we can develop as a leader. Why is this ability so important in your eyes? You know, that's what a leader does I mean the role of a leader is to set vision. It's to align people behind the vision It's to sort of collectively aggregate the work of everybody and move everybody in the direction of You know what they're trying to achieve and help them collaborate I could tell you countless stories of Turnaround leaders who come in and without changing over the workforce Give the example in the book of Brian Gaffney who I worked with as a coach And and Brian was the CEO of Allianz Global Distributors and he went in and they were losing Tens of millions of dollars. They were losing I think 130 million dollars 140 million dollars And he turned that around in a few years to a 30 million dollar profit and he did it with all the same people So meaning he didn't just fire everybody and hire a bunch of new people the same people who were losing 130 million dollars Before he came in as CEO. We're suddenly, you know instrumental to making 30 million dollars a profit After that and so that's his job his job The job of a leader is to go into an organization and see what's happening and help change the way people are doing things So that they are aligned Connected committed and driving towards a common goal. That's what leaders do. We better learn how to do that Well, also the one other thing I'll say is that you know leaders when they're really effective Help everybody around them perform at a higher level like what I call up their game And so you know like that's our job as leaders is to bring out the best the best of the people who are working for us So that they perform at a level the higher than they were performing beforehand. That's changing I think the easy easiest example for everyone to see with that is in sports And a lot of times you'll have the the same ragtag team that that didn't put together a winning season last year But maybe it's a new coach who came in who got them Motivated and on and focused on the same vision or perhaps the coach who was there had figured out a way to get everybody On board with that vision. Yeah 100% and you know, you also see that with a player who comes on and it's not that the player him or herself You know changes everything because they're so amazing. It's actually you see, you know, Tom Brady's an interesting example I'm pretty sure he's not deflating all the balls, right? I think when he goes I think when he you know, he joins another team and suddenly that team's winning the Super Bowl You might just say wow, he's amazing. You could put a group of you know Gorillas on the field with him and he would win. That's not it But he's having an impact on the team and the team is playing in a way that is much more effective as a team Based on some things that he's doing. We drop great content each and every week And we want to make sure that you guys get notified and in order to do that You're gonna have to smash that subscribe button and hit that notification bell And if you've gotten a lot of value out of this make sure you give us a like and share our videos with your friends What do you think are the biggest misconceptions that we have around change? Obviously in writing and researching this book you have a model But many of us as we talked about we're resistant to change We even bought into this truism that you can't change others. So what are those misconceptions around change? So why don't I lay the Foundation of what it takes to change and then and then I'll share the what I think is the biggest misconception So I'm gonna like try to build some suspense here when awesome and and the biggest misconception that I think Especially in corporate America. We get totally wrong and we get wrong in our relationships So it's all over the place. So what people need to change is four things ownership independent capability Emotional courage and what I call or how we and I on my co-author we call it future-proofing or resilience, right? So ownership is I have to own it like if I own it if it's coming from me Then then I'll make it successful if I have an idea that is a hundred percent perfect and you gave it to me Versus an idea that's seventy five percent there, but I but I I invent I created it myself How much more likely am I going to work and put everything? I have into it in order to work make my seventy five percent Idea successful than to make your 100% idea successful, right? Way more like if you're a hundred percent idea doesn't work. You had a stupid idea, right? If my seventy five percent idea, you know works. Wow, I'm brilliant So so that's you know, I'm gonna work that time out independent capability means we've got to be able to To to be able to follow through we have to be able to execute, you know It's not just an idea, but it's executing emotional courage is the willingness to feel something which is critical to follow through Right, so my the book I wrote before this one is called leading with emotional courage And that's the that's the underlying idea behind that book if you think of a difficult conversation You're not having right one that you need. You know you need to have but you're not having Consider why you're not having it. I bet you know everything you need to know to have it I bet you're perfectly skilled enough to have it and I bet you've had time and opportunity and that's usually what we try to Solve for when we're helping to execute, but that's not the stuff that gets in the way What gets in the way is you're gonna have to feel something if you have that hard conversation You might have to feel their anger or you're hurting them or shame or that weird passive aggressive thing that happens When you give someone feedback and they go, thank you so much I really appreciate that and then they don't talk to you for three weeks Like you have to be willing to feel that stuff and if you're willing to feel everything If you're willing to feel the shame and the embarrassment and the anger and the path if you're willing to feel everything You can do anything so emotional courage is a key piece of this and then finally future-proofing or resilience Which is if you get very very good at solving certain kinds of problems and performing What that buys you is more difficult problems and a higher need to perform afterwards And so you know like that's the gift of succeeding is you get more challenges to succeed with and so so in order to really change In a way that sticks you have to be able to continue to do that So that's that's what we need its ownership independent capability emotional courage and future-proofing So now the reveal right like what what's the big thing that gets in the way? Actually the big thing is that almost always when we try to change people we approach it as a critic and not as an ally We are not approaching it as someone who's helping them We're approaching it as someone who's trying to point out what they're doing wrong and and in Organizations the place where we get so stuck in this is feedback Right and and we get stuck in this in our relationships, too Right, which is that this sense that okay? I'm gonna be brutally honest with you right because I'm a good guy and I call it straight and I believe in transparency So I'm gonna be brutally honest with you Which as someone who just put a comment in in I did a LinkedIn live this morning and they put a comment saying Brutal honesty is almost always 90% brutal and 10% honest, right? And I love that I think that's totally true and and it's like you know brutal honesty Just knocks people down it has the opposite effect And so we we're building these cultures and organizations where you know the whole idea is radical Truth and I'm gonna be you know totally honest and it's very very destructive and people spiral down and we approach Change by being critics which by the way takes away all ownership Mutes mute their independent capability Limits what they can do afterwards because now they're in defensive mode and they're not gonna take chances to build and learn and growth mindset and It it you know emotional courage it makes it even like it creates the bar of emotional courage Now you're gonna have to take massive risk, which is gonna risk being knocked down again by this destructive feedback And you know you're never gonna be able to perform in the future after that So if you think about what what is required in order to make change right ownership and independent capability future Proofing emotional courage all of those things get knocked down all of those things get reduced when we just Come in as a critic or we give you feedback or where you know transparently brutally honest with you That's I think the biggest mistake that I see happening. Well, we all want to have an impact and in large part those four traits or pieces to actually change are Tied directly to us feeling that impact seeing that impact and when we are faced with a critic Immediately our impact is diminished we feel less than and that doesn't inspire change that Requires us to start to retreat and feel less of an impact And of course that cycle is then hard to break when we talk about team members and really trying to bring People in to a plan to execute to enjoy that change You