 In celebration of Fast and the Furious 62, I grabbed a shirt that looked like something Vin Diesel would wear. That's not a muscle tee. Now that I have the right attire and a great attitude, it's time to review F9, the Fast Saga. Why is it called that? What a weird, what a weird title. The gang's all here. Letty, Maya, Dom, Maya and Dom's brother. Wait, they have a brother? It reminds me of sitcoms where they introduce a long-lost brother or twin that we didn't know existed until like the fifth season of the show because they're running out of ideas. If there were any themes at all in this film outside of the threat of family, it would be that the past has a way of coming back again. Whether it's a brother that's never been mentioned in eight previous films or a character who was dead for four of them and then returns. I actually don't know if it's been four films. This whole, this whole thing is a roller coaster. We started out at Drag Racing. Now we're, for some reason, launching cars into space. It's a whirlwind. Let me just come right out and say it. This is one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen in theaters, and I saw Boss Baby. It's so bonkers. It's so nuts. It's so crazy. It's so ludicrous. He's in it. Don't worry. He's back too. Whole gang's here, except for Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham because I don't think they, I don't think, I don't think The Rock gets along with Diesel. That's what I read. Rocks and Diesel don't mix. Physics are inconsequential by the ninth film. They kind of joke about it at one point. They also joke about how they're untouchable. They don't seem to die or even get hurt for that matter. It's one thing to be self-referential and meme yourself, which this film does multiple times. It's another to be a competently directed piece of entertainment. I wrongfully in the past compared the Fast and the Furious to that of an Avengers type of an event where they keep getting more over-the-top and crazy that these characters are basically superheroes. They get so over-bloated, so stupid, and just, they just have no fun or feel to them anymore. Like the characters all look old. They look miserable. Vin Diesel's just so uncomfortable throughout this whole movie. He's just, he's kind of like this the whole time. His shirts look weird. He's always in a weird posture. His face is never making real expressions. I just, I don't, what happened to this franchise? It started out as such a, like a niche, stupid, bro-tacular street racing film. And now we're just, we're dodging landmines in the forest. We're traveling to 85 different places, most of which I've never heard of. I know you can drive fast, Dom. And sometimes Furious. Actually, a lot of times Furious. But you're traveling across continents in like the course of an afternoon, and then back again. Shit! You have guys go to space, and then like a day later they're back home having a barbecue. How? How? Nothing makes a lick of sense. There's dudes jumping around from car to car like they're agents out of the Matrix. You have magnets pulling shit in and then throwing them away. I mean, I don't even know how many people died. I don't know how many casualties there were in the final action scene. But they're just mowing down cars, pulling shit in from all sides. There should be blood and guts and carnage all over this road. These are horrible people. Horrible people. I have a very hard time following stories now, and I think I know why. Back in the day, there would be like one major plot, maybe one or two minor plots sprinkled in. That was your story. Stop a, stop a shark from invading the beach. Plus deal with some of the politics of the locals in, such as Jaws. Now, though, it's okay, Fast and the Furious crew. We have retired some of us. We're in hiding out on a farm. We're raising a son that's now ours because other people are dead. But oh, shit, we got pulled back into it because Kurt Russell sent off some sort of cryptic message. By the way, we don't see him again. I don't really know what was happening with that whole thing. And only we can know about it. This then pinpoints a location to something we have to go get, which leads to other things we have to go get, and then there's a key that we have to go find. Meanwhile, we left our son back at the barn that we saw for five minutes of the film. They don't care at all. Like Dom leaves this kid that he's just so held on to protecting. They don't tell us who he left him with until like 25 minutes later. That's just good writing. So they're going after these two pieces of technology that when hooked together cause the Transformium to take over the world and Decepticons come down and they can wipe out all the computers and Optimus and the gang have to stop them. Meanwhile, a ghost from the past comes back. But how did he survive? Well, let's do a flashback and find out. That's his sister? Well, not really. Let's do a flashback and find out who she is. Wait, Dom has a brother? Sure does. Let's do seven flashbacks and find out how that all went down. These are all stories. These are all full films worth of events. Dom having a brother? That's kind of a big deal. That's probably something that should be addressed more than in a couple of flashbacks. Bear in mind, the flashbacks have two actors that just look bizarre. I don't know if they were doing some sort of a face manipulation or what, but these look like an amalgamation of different people. They don't look like real people and they certainly didn't look like the actors they were portraying. In fact, I thought Dom was the shorter brother for the longest time because, you know, his brother, Jacob, played by John Cena is quite a bit taller than him. But, uh, who cares? Adam, shut the hell up. What were you expecting, Citizen Kane? Yes. Yeah, I was expecting Citizen Kane, you prick. That's exactly what I was expecting. A movie with some competency. A movie with some story structure. A movie that's not just a string of random video games meshed together. Yeah, I expect Citizen Kane. That's what I'm just saying now whenever I see that stupid comment. Just shut your brain off and watch. My brain has limits, dick. There's only so much I can handle. There's a scene in the film where Dom is in a sewer or something. I don't know, there's chains, there's water, there's stuff. And, like, 35 guys attack him with batons and, like, Kevlar and whatever. They're all decked out. Meanwhile, Lenny gets away, Dom shuts the door, you know, locks himself in and he's like, you know, you'll tell the kid that I love him or something. I don't know, where is he at? Where's the kid? Eh, who cares? I got stuff to do. And he fights all these dudes and he turns into the Hulk. He legitimately turns into the Hulk. He's like, run! He jumps down. He, like, picks up a piece of cement and smashes it on the guy. He, like, breaks the dude's neck into a railing. He throws six guys over. He's taking all these body blows and shit. I just, what the hell is happening in this franchise? I don't know, it's so hard to describe because I like crazy, loony films. Like, I eat Wanted Up with Angelina Jolie with the curving bullets. It's just preposterous. It's nonsense. Yet somehow, that worked for me. There's this really fine razor line where you can, like, get away with it if you have some style to your films. I think the problem is, Fast and the Furious, there's nobody on this crew that can hold this movie together. There's no, like, Deadpool, Ryan Reynolds, you know? Vin Diesel has no range. He's just so there, you know? He's like a stone that they just kind of cart around and they, like, drop him off. He's like, you, what card do I get in? I should also point out that I liked Fast and the Furious 6. I think the one with Paul Walker, where he was deep faked onto his brother's face or whatever they did, face off Nicholas Cage, that was fine. I mean, I don't know why that one worked and this didn't. I couldn't possibly pinpoint what's different between them outside of maybe that one just had a bit more emotion attached to it because of Paul Walker's passing. So there was just, they had that real-life scenario, playing part in the film. I think that's exactly what it was. There's something to latch onto in that movie. There's something to care about outside of this generic bullshit-were-family nonsense. That's nothing. That's nothing. When the movie does have action events play out, they're so dumb that you can just laugh and basically point at how completely implausible any of it is. It's just so loony tunes bad that that's enjoyable, I guess, but when that's not happening and there's plenty of times when it's not, it's just a snore fest and you're just waiting for the next action scene to ramp up to watch Vin Diesel, like, blow his car through the side of a brick pillar and somehow hook the cable onto the axle of his front-left wheel or whatever he does and then swing around to another mountain. That happens. And my favorite part about that is before it happens, Lenny's like, uh-uh, you're not going to do what I think you're going to do. What? How would you possibly know? That's what he was thinking. And bear in mind, right before that event happens, the bridge that was there looked like some rickety shit from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. The other crew drives on it and as they're going, the back of the bridge starts falling. Like, this is what's supposed to happen. Brrr. That's what's supposed to happen, but instead it's brrr. Like, what? What? They drive up this bridge as it's free-falling. It reminded me of Legolas in The Hobbit when he runs up the bricks as they're falling away. Nothing about it makes sense, although I ate it up because Legolas is like a magic elf. So there's something you can, you know, you can suspend your disbelief there. Fast and the Furious has no excuse. It's just so boggers. I'm giving Fast and the Furious 9 4 out of 10 NOS speed canister things. I don't know what they are. I don't know anything about cars. And neither does this movie. Thanks for watching the video. If you want to hear my thoughts on more Fast and the Furious, stick around because soon I'll be doing a Fast and the Furious 1 versus Fast and the Furious 9 on my movie feuds show. And I'll be a little bit nicer, I think in that one. I'm gonna try to be nicer there because I know people do love this franchise. This is just, this is just my honest opinion on the film. Make sure to like the video and subscribe if you haven't, and hopefully I'll see you around the channel. Take care. And here we are, live, somewhat on time. Hope you're all doing well. I actually tested my audio before going live, tested the video. Everything seems to be, everything seems to be in play. So hopefully that's the case on your end as well. I already took the liberty of pouring myself a Coke. And I'm honestly ready, I'm pumped because we have a celebration today. We have a birthday to attend and the party's right here at my place. And that birthday is for a young female. She's getting older. She's a couple years younger than me but she's starting to push up there. And this birthday is not for a rabbit. It's not for a minx. It's for a fox. A Megan Fox. I think we could all take a moment of celebratory reflection. Kind of think about her catalog, the past films, the past triumphs she's had. Everything she's brought to modern cinema with her grace, her elegance, her charm. Some of the men she's chosen to attach herself to physically, emotionally and spiritually. None of them are me. That's okay. I guess that's okay. She got me through some tough times specifically in the Transformers era. Today we're going to look back. We're going to reflect on Megan Fox and everything she has accomplished. Everything she's brought to us on the big screen, on the small screen. I've taken the liberty to get this all prepared ahead of a time because this is going to be an adventure. An adventure through time and history itself. I want to make sure that everyone's feeling this. Everybody's having a good time. I think really, oh, he said he'll notice. Uh-oh, audio is off. You know, I thought I had a perfect game going. We can fix this quickly though. We always have to do this. Okay. Let's look. Let's see what we're dealing with. Offset is a 2000. Is it off? That's weird because I did test this ahead of time. Let's just play around with it. Set it and just get rid of it. I've taken it there. Adam, have you ever had a perfect game? No, not even remotely. Oh and many and I never got through the last Zelda game. Is the audio high? Is it too loud? I'm seeing red bars when I talk. Just let me know if the audio is a little too much. Okay, are we good? Do I need to calm the game down on the phone? I'm sorry, not on the phone. I don't actually use my phone to film these. These live streams are coming off of the fucking webcam. Okay, they're saying it's good. I'm hearing it's better. Well, what is better? What is good? Is it perfect? I want one to one. I want parody and a thumbs up from James. Much better at fixing it though. Yeah, Master Sergeant, I figured it out. I am really disappointed though because I feel like I got through that opening monologue flawlessly and now people are going to see this and be like, wow, what a jackass. Okay, it lines up. Okay. Let's cut the shit. Megan Fox has been on a lot of garbage. She's not a good actress in the slightest. She has skated by on her looks and she looks really good. But outside of that, there's no reason why she was ever a thing. And honestly, it's kind of impressive because if I look at the actresses now, the pretty ones, the talented ones, they usually have both. Margot Robbie, Scarlett Johansson, even Anna de Armas was a bombshell in bombshell, but she also did a knockout performance. Gal Gadot might be, that might be as close as we get to a Megan Fox of this era. But Fox was something truly special in the early 2000s. Let's break down what she's done, what she's going to do in the future. I have posters. Let me sit over here. Ladies and gentlemen, what we're looking at today is Megan Fox in her first role. Obviously, she's not in the poster. She wasn't a main character. Holiday in the Sun with Mary Kate, Nashley Olsen. I have notes. The year is 2001. Mary Kate, Ashley, the Olsen sisters who would later become the irrelevant ones thanks to Elizabeth, the Superior Olsen, had a string of hit movies, a TV show, line of clothing, jewelry, condoms, I would assume at some point. But they had a little film called Holiday in the Sun released in 2001. One of the characters in this film, Megan Fox as Brianna. I don't know this movie. I haven't seen it. In fact, I've never seen a Mary Kate or Ashley anything. But here's the plot for those that are interested. Sisters Alex and Madison are whisked away to the Bahamas for winter break, but soon find themselves crossing paths with a man smuggling stolen artifacts. I sense a keeper. I sense a lot of fun. And I sense some Megan Fox in her first role. Good for her. Bet you have no idea what we're going to cook up next. Buckle up. You might not know this, but her next role is I hope this works. Bad boys, bad boys. What you going to do? What you going to do when they come for you? Megan Fox was in it. You might not remember. IMDB does. Her character name in this is Stars and Stripes Bikini Kid Dancing Under Waterfall. That's right. That's right. She wasn't credited for this role. This superior performance in the movie that really elevated the material all the way through. I don't even think the movie should exist without the bikini girl dancing scene. Megan Fox takes everything she's in challenges it to be its best. She did that for bad boys too. I didn't do posters or breakdowns for all of these of course in between what we're going to get to she was in an episode of What I Like About You. The Coke is going down hard. That's an Amanda Bynes vehicle. It was a TV show. Here's an interesting one. Ocean Avenue. I'm not familiar with this show. It's a great song by Yellowcard. I don't I don't know what Ocean Avenue is. This is very bizarre because it said the show ran from 2002 to 2003. So one year but then under episode amount it says 110 episodes. Megan Fox was in 110 episodes of Ocean Avenue in the course of a year. Is this a web series? How is this even possible? I might have read something wrong but I here's the plot. And this seems pretty par for the course and our acting so far. A cop working on the case of a serial killer targeting prostitutes must deal with his own secrets being exposed. I bet that's not the only thing that gets exposed on Ocean Avenue. She would then go on in 2003 to do one episode of Two and a Half Men. I never saw Two and a Half Men because half men scare me. Never saw the show. So yeah she had Ocean Avenue and then she went to oh you know what I didn't put. Hang on. Yeah I did this. Did I put it out of order? Oh I did. Let me see if I can move this up quick without breaking the flow. There it is. She would go on from one train wreck Amanda Bynes to another with Lindsey Lohan in 2004 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen. I didn't see this movie either. So so far I've not I haven't seen anything Megan Fox has done except for Bad Boys 2. I didn't know she was in it but she elevated the material. Here's the plot of Confessions. A teenage girl is convinced that her home city revolves around her until her family packs up and moves to the suburbs where she finds herself competing for attention. Salacious. Karla is the character that Megan Fox plays and I assume she knocks it out of the park. I haven't seen this movie. I really don't. I really couldn't know. Really can't know. I just looked at the chat really quick. Master Sergeant says there's your annex skywalk. He pulls out the there's your there's your annex skywalk. That's one of my favorite lines from die hard to die harder. All right, I got to focus. Let me bring up my notes. All right, from there into this is still 2004. She moves on to bigger and better things with a made for TV movie called Crimes of Fashion. And we know who that is on the cover. That's our Big Bang Theory actress. Kaylee Cuoco. Say that quote. I think that is I think it's Kaylee Cuoco. It's a weird name and stuff to pronounce. I think I knocked it out of the park. The plot of this is very simple. An orphaned hardworking fashion student Kaylee Cuoco discovers that she has a mob boss grandfather and inherits the family business. What? Hygienics are going to ensue for sure. And so is Megan Fox. I'm not sure who she plays. I'm not sure I could care enough to look. All right, now she gets kind of a first big break. This is her first big deal on television. Of course, Oceans Avenue set the world ablaze. But I still wasn't really familiar with Megan Fox. This wouldn't change things for me. But I assume middle-aged women at the time were familiar with this one. I'm of course referring to Hope and Faith. Yeah, that's Kelly Rippa. And I don't know who the other lady is like Megan Kelly or someone. I'm sure I don't know. A couple of blondes that do talk shows. 48 episodes, Megan was on. She played one of the daughters. Here's the plot. Their sisters, Hope and Faith, but blood may be the only thing they have in common. When Faith, a soap opera diva, is killed off her show, The Sacred and the Sinful, she flees the tabloids by moving to the suburbs with her sister, Hope's family. Oh my gosh. Megan played a character named Sidney, Shinowski. I bet there was a lot of head buddy and I bet there was a lot of like, I didn't do, I don't want to do that. You don't control me, mom. But it was great. Speaking of great, we get to the real meat of this whole thing. The reason we're all here today. And that's of course. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. What I've done, it ain't my thing. Lincoln Park. Michael Bay. Optimus Prime. If you didn't see this movie in 2007, borderline and Optimus Prime. Because this movie was peak. This was everything you wanted. Fast cars, faster women. Shia LaBeef. Yelling, Optimus! At the top of his lungs. Amazing soundtrack. Even more amazing audio effects. Sam, put the cube in my chest. It's the only way, Sam. I don't want an Optimus. Sir, I'll put the fucking cube in my chest. Piece of shit. But we don't need to kill you. That's too late, Sam! That's a one-to-one recreation of that sequence. There's Mountain Dew Machines coming alive. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Shoot and mount Dewcans. Dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun. Grab a Dew, dude. And then later they would change to like Bud Light. And then the far right Republicans would ban transformers because they were pro-transformers, right? The Bud Light, so they got rid of that. They were pro-trans and they didn't like that. But yeah, for this one, it was simple, it was stupid. And Megan Fox was just phenomenal to look at. She was the definition of a pin-up girl that you lean against an old car. A classic, a muscle car. I don't know what cars are. I was gonna say like a Mustang, but I don't think there's Mustangs in this movie. I'm sure I don't know. It starts with a sequel. I don't know why Megan Fox was kicked up this thing tonight. I can't, I couldn't think of a rhyme on the spot. But transformers, Revenge of the Fallen? Anyone? Yeah, I'll take it. That movie sucked. It sucked bad. It hasn't aged well. But Megan Fox isn't it. She still looks foxy as all hell. You can kind of see her in the poster. She's got those white pants. The white pants really did it for me. What is, what's it with the white skin tight pants? It's the same with Padme in Star Wars. The Clone Wars, whatever that one was called. It's not called the Clone Wars. Revenge of the Clones or something. Clone, Clone World. Clone of Geden. I gotta know it. Star Wars, The Phantom Menace. Star Wars. I always forget this one's name. Attack of the Clones, Attack of the Clones. I got there. Let's see if we have any notes about this. I don't think so, I'm pretty sure. I did write down a plot for Transformers 1. An ancient struggle between two Cybertronian races. The heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons come to Earth with a clue to the ultimate power held by a teenager. That was Sam Whitwiki in his glasses. He could like see the artifacts and stuff. He's like writing hieroglyphics down in the sequel, in the college campus while his mom's tripping balls because she had some pot brownies. It's a whole thing. The character that Megan Fox plays in these is Michaela Baines. I had no idea she had a name in these movies. I truly didn't. Fox would then do like a couple movies I've never heard of. She did How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Kristen Dunst was in it. Simon Pegg, never saw it, never heard of it. Then she did Whore, all caps, W-H-O-R-E. Whore. Never heard of it either. Seems in line. Then Revenge of the Fallen came out. This was a big deal. Sequel, she also did the video game. There was a parent-child thing, the parent movie, then the child video game came out. She voiced. She returned for that. Reprised her role one last ride because after Transformers 2, unfortunately, Fox is out. Bad Shyla Beef with the director Michael Bay. You don't bite the hand that feeds. Michael Bay clearly had an interest in young Megan Fox all the way back in Bad Boys 2. Casted her. Casted's not a word. I get correct all the time. Cast her in these two Transformers films, probably was going to bring her back for a third. And then he even went out of his way to put her back in another set of movies in a little while. We'll get there. But next up on this list is 2009's. Hang on, I don't want to get ahead of myself. Jennifer's body. I'm a simple man. I see a poster like that and I think I want one. There's several amazing posters for Jennifer's body. The marketing was horseshit for this film. I didn't see it in theaters because even though yes, I appreciate the female body. Happily married, of course. It's okay. You can still like the look of other women and men. Not a big deal. Chris Pratt, Chris Hemsworth. All the Chris's are God's amongst men. Hugh Jackman. Yeah, I might. I might dabble if I had the opportunity. Who knows? Who knows? But Jennifer's body, I need more than a pretty face. I need more than a pretty body to go put down money for a film. So I never saw this because it looked like shit. And Megan Foxx isn't a good actress. At least not what I've seen. But then I actually watched Jennifer's body a couple years back for the first time and I was like damn, given the right material in the right direction, she's like okay. I still think a lot of people could have done it better. But this movie was definitely like kind of sculpted around her and the performance that she's able to give. It works so well. I really dig this movie. It's actually pretty fantastic. And a Patreon, which you could be, it's actually just Patreon, but a patron at patreon.com slash Adam does movies requested this film. He also requested Evil Dead 2013, which is the only Evil Dead movie I didn't see for some reason. I completely missed it. I do want to watch that one too. It's between those two, but I think I got to go body. I got to go Jennifer's body because I would like to rewatch it and I would like to talk about that one. Maybe down the road, he requests Evil Dead 2013. We'll see. But I'm not going to say much more about this movie right now because I'm going to be reviewing it in like a couple days. So look for that, please. And it's all down hill from here folks. It's all downhill from here. Jonah Hex, an Eminem slash Rihanna music video for Love the Way You Lie. Not a bad song. Just gonna stand here and watch you burn. That's alright because I love the way it hurts. Just gonna stand- Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, she's in that music video. Then she was in another... I wouldn't say this movie's good. This is 40. It goes on in typical Judd Apatow fashion for about an hour longer than it should. It definitely lingers cranberries. And I just... I couldn't with the movie. It's okay. She, of course, plays... She plays like a young hot record salesman named Desi or DZ or... I don't remember how to pronounce it. Last and probably least, Teenage Mutant Ninja Aliens. Remember when this movie was in production and they're like, yeah, Michael Bay is thinking these might be aliens and not turtles. They came from another planet because that's fun and cool. Megan Fox is in both of these. TMNT1 and Out of the Shadows, which might even be worse than the first one. And I don't know how you screw up so bad because Out of the Shadows had Casey Jones. It had Bebop and Rocksteady and it had freakin' Crane. What are you doing over there? Michael Bay produced those movies? He didn't direct. So again, Michael Bay probably, you know, gave Megan Fox another chance to redeem herself, get back in his good graces. I don't really know what the whole hearsay is with that stuff, but man, what a ride. What a roller coaster. And the last respectable thing that she did is New Girl. Who's that girl? It's Jess. I like this show a lot. New Girl's great. Zoe Deschanel or Zoe Deschanel, however the fuck you say that. She's so funny. You got Schmitty in there, Jake. The whole crew's great. And Megan Fox was in about 15 episodes. I scratch my head like I'm thinking about it, but I have it written down and I'm almost positive. I put 15. It's like I'm pretending like I just know off the top. Oh yeah, like 15 episodes. Yeah, she was in 15 episodes. She would go back, let's see, Reagan. Reagan was the name of the character. She replaced Zoe Deschanel, not replaced, but she was kind of the fill-in because I believe Zoe was having a baby at the time. She was preggers. That's what happened there. And thus ends any semblance of a decent movie from Megan Fox. She would go on to do a cornucopia of horrible straight to DVD, straight to streaming films, one of which I sadly saw a couple years back. Wasn't the worst thing in the world. I don't remember the name. I really don't care to look it up. She's trapped in a winter wonderland. Her husband tried to kill her. She turned the tables on him. It was a whole thing. Not very good. And sadly, she's recently been announced. Let's bring this up. Let's bring this up. We're done with the posters. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the cast of The Expendables 4, which apparently is still a thing. We got Sylvester Stallone. We got Sly in there. We got Jason Statham, Dolph Lundgren. These are all the mainstays. They've been in all of them, I believe. Jet Lee, I think. Was he in the first one? I think he was. But then we have just a smattering of bizarreness. Megan Fox? What? Why? Why? 50 Cent? Andy Garcia. Okay, he's not going to be an action guy, right? He's just going to probably be the lawyer, the attorney, something, the gun guy. Randy Coulter, I never know how to say his name. He's in it. Terry Crews is back again. Steven Seagal, why? Isn't that guy like a total asshole? Nobody likes him. He's kind of a joke. Why is he in this? And then Liam Neeson, of course, because he's done 55 Taken movies and he's out of things to do now. And then it's just a slew of new walks of life that I've never heard. I don't know who any of these people are. I assume they're mixed martial artists and UFC fighters and boxers and stunt people. I don't know. Or they're TikTok influencers. Is anybody's guess at this point? Let's see what the audience has to say. Let's see what you guys have to say about any of this. Just a friendly reminder. Super Chats are the name of the game here. I haven't brought it up yet, but Super Chats are always appreciated for these live shows. And with the Super Chat, if you have a question for me, you throw a dollar, you throw 10 bucks, you say, hey, Adam, I love what you're doing. My name is Matthew. Here's my question. It doesn't have to be Matthew. It could be Samuel. It could be Megan, like Megan Fox. Those are the three names that you can have. That's it. Those are the three names you have to have. And then you can say, Adam, what do you think about the color blue? Or Adam, what's your favorite Megan Fox movie? In which case, I would be like, oh my God, I don't know. There's so many to choose from. Let's get to the second and final story of the evening. Really, it was a celebration of Megan and all she's accomplished. So I think we did that. Megan, I salute you. I'm sorry things haven't been great in the film industry for you lately. You'll bounce back though. Expendables four, that's going to be the one. That's going to be one that puts you back on the map. All right, here we go. Our next story is, of course, speculation. No one knows, but they're all going to make articles and pretend. So I'm going to obviously make a video about the article that doesn't really know who's going to be the next lineup in the Avengers movie. The Kong Dynasty, is it the Kang Dynasty? I actually looked this up. I think it's Kang. Kang, Kang, Kang, Kang, Kang. Whatever. The actor is in a shit. Shitotas trouble. I don't know if he's even going to be the character anymore. Let's look up how to say this. Let me let me look it up just because I'll probably say it a couple more times. Pronounce Kang from the MCU. Kang, okay. I got there. I was there. All right, Avengers the Kang Dynasty team lineup revealed question mark. Every hero rumored for the new Avengers team. This is from Fandom Wire. And then here we have a really horribly photoshopped group image. Just miserable looking. Brie Larson, they went into Photoshop and just did the remove background, paint tool, the bucket tool. Didn't bother to really feather in or anything. So there's really harsh white outline around her. Shang-Chi just feathered to all shit in this. Completely different tones. I mean, what's going on with Captain Falcon over here? Bucky. No, that's not Bucky. What the fuck is his name? What's Falcon's real name? He cares. I don't really like any of these people. Disney CEO Bob Iger recently spoke about Avengers the Kang Dynasty and confirm that the film will pack a lot of newness. He went on to say that a whole new set of Avengers will be in play when it comes to Avengers 5. As of now, Marvel has a ton of pre-existing and newly introduced heroes, but they'd have to choose out of the big bunch and divide those heroes between Avengers Kang Dynasty and Secret Wars. Not everyone can appear in both of these movies. Okay, based on multiple interviews of Avengers the Kang Dynasty writer Jeff Loveness and the scoop of industry insider Grace Randolph. Oh God. So this is going to be complete bullshit. Okay, Spider-Man. Given that Tom Holland recently signed on a new MCU contract, bigger paycheck. He's going to play a crucial role in this story. Okay, the world may not remember Peter Parker yet, but they do remember Spider-Man who needs to redeem himself. All right. Shang-Chi. Since the Shang-Chi director is Helming Avengers, the Kang Dynasty. It's a no brainer that the Asian hero will show up. All right, here we are. So far. Tom Holland, Spider-Man, fine. Don't think I'm as like enthralled by him as a lot of other people are. He's fine. Shang-Chi. I like probably the most out of the new slate of Avengers characters. He's cool. I like this guy. Captain America, Sam Wilson. That's his name. Samson Swanson. I was way off. Sam Wilson recently accepted the mantle of Captain America and will now be involved in a conflict against the Hulk villain, Samuel Stearns. The Hulk villain, Samuel Stearns. That's not abomination, is it? He'd lead a new team that included Joaquin Torres. Torres, Torres as the new Falcon and fight against the temptations of the super soldier serum. But by leading his new and temporary team, he's gotten the experience to become a leader. None of this is anything. Okay, we're just... This is what happened in the fucking show. So he's gonna be in it. What's this guy's name? I'm a movie channel. I don't know this dude's name. I forgot it. Sam Wilson, actor. Anthony Mackie. Okay, yeah. Anthony Mackie as an actor has not done anything to impress me yet. Maybe I need to see more movies he's in, but so far I've just thought, okay, you know Wesley Snipes, dude. You don't have that factor that I like from Wesley Snipes. You don't have the cool factor I like from like Denzel Washington. I just, he just doesn't do anything for me. Speaking of Captain Marvel. Carol Danvers, baby. I don't want to read anything with Grace Randolph mentioned in it. We know that she's a leader. We know she's like a part-time Avenger already. Usually she just shows up at convenient instances after she's done fighting off like volcanoes on another planet or whatever she does. We don't really know what her powers are. She's apparently invulnerable to... everything? I can't think. I don't think she has a kryptonite, as far as I could tell. And I'm not really sure. Does she have laser eyes, like Superman? Can she do ice breath? Or is she just a ball of the sun? She just blows stuff up. It's such a messy character. And I'm one of the few people on YouTube that thinks Brie Larson's fantastic. Not as Captain Marvel, but she's just everything about her works for me. Everything about her works for me. So I really do hope that they can make her character work because right now it's garbage. Moon Knight, Jesus. Moon Knight, I couldn't finish the show. I thought it was lame. Oscar Isaac, very, very good in the role. Oscar Isaac solid. That character bored the hell out of me. I didn't get it. Like, it didn't hook me. I mean, I got it. I didn't get why it was still going after four episodes. And so I walked out. I walked off the couch. Daredevil in his dumb outfit. Matt Murdock is set to play a huge role in Echo. Daredevil born again and maybe even Spider-Man 4. Okay. Maybe we'll see him in the Kang Dynasty as well. That's exciting. Shuri and Yolana, the lova. I don't know how you say her last name, but Yolana. We know Yolana. They use that terrible poster from Hawkeye TV show. These posters are both awful. Florence Pugh may have become permanent member of the Thunderbolts and she might not show up in Avengers the Kang Dynasty. But while speaking on the phase zero podcast, Loveness name dropped both Florence Pugh and Leticia Wright. I really, here's the thing. I really like Shuri in the first Black Panther movie. In Wakanda Forever, she was very boring because she was mourning the whole time over the loss of T'Challa, which is fair. It's understandable from a story aspect. But from a character aspect, that early on, second movie already being a complete second in the mud. I didn't like that film, so that didn't help. But Shuri, I'm gonna need you to turn around. I'm gonna need you to get back to be an exciting cool character again because right now you as the Black Panther is so boring. It's insane how boring it is. No notes for Florence Pugh. So far, I like Florence Pugh. I don't really care about Matt Murdock. I know a lot of people get a hard on for our blind bandit, the daredevil. I don't, nobody says blind bandit. I came up with that, I think. I don't care at all. I thought Daredevil the series was really good for a season. Season two, kind of a downhill drop. And then season three, I've yet to talk to anyone who's actually watched it. I feel like season two really kind of lost the script. And by three, no one cared. Maybe there wasn't a season three. I think there was. Yeah, I only care about Shang-Chi, Spider-Man, Fine, whatever he's Spider-Man. Moon Knight, man, Daredevil, man, Shuri, man. Namor, what? Namor recently made his MCU debut and befriended Shuri. So he might follow Shuri in teaming up with the Avengers. What? That's nothing. That is the dumbest shit. That's the whole thing on him. Namor, maybe, because he became friends. So Namor, this is unofficial. This is unofficial news that we're like confidently stating is gonna be a thing. That's maybe probably gonna happen, but I don't know, but I do know. She-Hulk and the Hulk. Grace Randolph, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The Hulk was completely ruined by the end of Endgame when his story arc was finalized off-camera, one of the dumbest writing decisions the Russo's ever made. The Russo's made a lot of missteps in Endgame. That was one of the biggest ones. She-Hulk, the show was a shit show. The show was a disaster. It was a watchable Sunday morning pile of crap. Easy to get through, I thought, because it didn't care about anything. There was no consequences. Really, really just a madcap, stupid 24-minute thing that you could watch while you ate cereal, and that's exactly what I did. I do like that actress Tatiana Maslani. I think she was great as She-Hulk. I like the wit, I like the banter, the smart-ass, you know, whatever. The disrespect she gave to her cousin wasn't a fan of that, but I'm also not really a fan of characters kind of getting introduced later on that supposedly had this great relationship the whole time, but we never saw it play out, and then we're thrown into like the ninth movie, and suddenly Dom has a brother that we didn't know about. Doesn't work for me. Yuck. Ant-Man and the Wasp. This movie was so fucking bad that I just- I don't like anybody in this anymore. Paul Rudd, I'm so turned off now because of how bad this movie was. It's not his fault. Paul Rudd is so likable and charming. Evangeline Lilly was given the worst haircut ever put on screen. If she pulled that, if she tried to pull that shit on Lost, canceled. Canceled show, just like Felicity back in the day. You don't cut the hair that short, especially when you're in your 50s or how old she is. That doesn't work. I don't care if it's trying to be comic accurate. Sometimes you don't put on the yellow spandex. Sometimes it doesn't translate. So these two, whatever, nothing to me. They mean nothing to me. The Mabies. Oh, okay. So Namor or Namor or whatever, he's in the probably discount because of this one sentence. He recently befriended Shuri. So, meh. Sold. Hawkeye. I'm going to chalk that up to a no, considering Jeremy Renner almost died recently. And I would imagine they've already been filming this thing. If he's in it, it's going to be a very small cameo. Or he's fully CG. Wong, yeah, this is a nothing burger right here. Wong is in everything. You can blink and miss him in the background of pretty much every show and movie ever. So yeah, Wong will be in there at some point. Conclusion. Why is there a conclusion on this? Thor and Dr. Strange probably won't be in it. Wanda, I think is dead in some, you know, it's a multiverse. So anybody's alive and dead and nothing matters. Nothing has any stakes anymore. Guardians of the Galaxy is probably the last good thing that'll come out of the MCU in a while. But who knows? I'm not bitter about it. All right, well, that is my news. That is, that is what I have for you this evening. If you have any questions, buy your Super Chat. I see we have one right here. $10 powerful Super Chat from Master Sergeant. Such an enjoyable channel. Am I right in noticing that it has been growing recently? I've been getting your older videos from years ago in my YouTube feed. Very nice. That is very nice to hear. Yes, the channel is growing at a solid pace. So I appreciate you bringing that up. And I'm really trying to, you know, make the lives a little bit more polished, obviously failing still with the audio issues. But you know, we're figuring it out sooner. I heard something recently on another podcast that's listening to and the guy said to paraphrase the bottom line is don't push things off. Don't try to make things perfect because they're not going to be and you're just going to end up making excuses for yourself not to do something. So like the lighting is not where I want it or the audio is messed up or I don't have the right look and feel. It's not warm enough. It's not, you know, what I'm not acting right. It's not inviting. These are all just bullshit excuses and what you need to look at are the raw numbers at the end of the day. Like are people liking this? Are they coming back? Are they subscribing? Are they telling people about it? Are more people engaged than they were last week or last month? Those are the things that matter and everything else is just is just nonsense. You know, you have to actually put stuff out there in order to receive some feedback. So that's really, I'm trying to get out of my comfort zone in that aspect. Like doing lives to me is, that's a nightmare. That's a nightmare scenario. So many things can go wrong and I do like polished presentation. Even if my shows in the past have a lot of errors, have some bad edits, the green screen isn't great, the skin tones are shit, the audio is garbage. They genuinely were the best product I could put out at the time with the amount of energy I had in me with kids and raising a family and doing all that in a full-time job. That was like, I was proud of all that material. So in the last year, yeah, about the last year, last 12 months, changing everything, getting rid of the green screen, doing a more traditional setup, changing the flow of the show, getting rid of movie feuds, getting rid of more of the scripted content and just kind of like speaking to you, but still trying to keep it funny and light and loose. That stuff's all been incredibly challenging for me and it's definitely been a learning curve and a growing experience. But yes, Master Sergeant, the channel thankfully has been growing. I noticed when I put out a new video now, I don't instantly lose 8 or 10 subscribers because they were all dead accounts that YouTube was probably just like filtering out or people were finally seeing my videos show up and they're like, who's this guy? Oh, I'm subscribed to him? No, no, that's okay. That's okay. I only subscribed to you because you did a frozen versus tangled video seven years ago. And there is a lot of that. So subscriber numbers are going up. I'm more interested in views and engagement because those are the important pieces to me. The subscribers, that's all just fluff and noise. Like, oh yeah, I got to 70,000 subs. That's a great milestone when I eventually get there, if it ever happens. But there's not 70,000 people watching the channel. That would be the amazing, you know, that'd be the amazing thing to achieve. But I've seen channels with millions of subscribers and they're only getting, you know, 30,000 views of video. So there's a lot of, a lot of skewed numbers, especially the longer you're in the game for, the worse off you're going to be over time unless you can keep reinventing and finding a new audience or retaining the one you have. It's challenging for sure. Thank you for the question. I appreciate that. Brian Babin with a powerful $15 super, I couldn't even talk because it came in so hot. A $15 super chat, he didn't even have anything to say. He's just like, here's $15. Shut up. Speaking of videos, I filmed one earlier that I was hoping to get out today. It's a segment that I'm trying to keep going. Last week I did the little mermaid early reactions and today I saw that the early reactions came out for fast X. I did a video on that as well where I react to the movie, whatever the reviews that came out. That's going to be a funny video. That's going to go out tomorrow. Excited about that. I remember first finding your channel with Avengers versus Age of Ultron and just rediscovered you not too long ago. I'm glad I did. Yeah, I think that's happening a lot because... And so the reason I got rid of the green screen, even though I still have one right there that I can pull down at any given time, well, I did use it. I used it recently on a live a couple of weeks back when I did those skits, which did horrible, by the way, on YouTube shorts and on TikTok. Terrible numbers for those. And that sucks because they took hours to make. Disheartening, but expected, I guess. Anyway, the reason I went to the more traditional format was so that I could put content out faster because when I was doing movie feuds, it would take me a week to make that damn show because I was writing the script. I was sourcing all the videos, trying not to get copyright flags, which was almost impossible every time. And it was just a ton of work. Now it's way faster. It's a lot more streamlined. And I'm able to... The goal was to get content out on a daily basis, at least five out of the seven days. Get a new video out there. Just get something out there that I could still look in and be like, okay, that's a solid video. Not amazing, but I'm happy with how it turned out. There's still some decent edits. There's still some clips. People seem to enjoy it. That's the goal because unfortunately, and it's always been this way, but I've just been too pigheaded to jump in the pool. It's a numbers game. If there's millions of hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute, which is insanely true. That's a stat that you can rest your hat on. There's millions of hours of video uploaded to YouTube every minute of the day. So you're in competition with that. And out of that millions of hours of video, there are movie review channels. There's movie satirical channels. There's nostalgic channels. There's like, you can cut down a million different ways. So then I have to look at that and say, what's my angle? Am I a movie channel about only sci-fi films or am I a movie channel only about Disney shit? Well, no, I watch all of it. Well, that hurts me because I'm not segmented enough. So then I have to ask, what's the appeal? Why do people come here? Well, it's for comedy and it's for honesty and it's for not having some sort of a, a political skew on everything or trying to like tear people down. Yeah, there's some, there's some jokes. I'm knocking people all over, but I'm self-deprecating too. We're all having fun. I want it to be like a South Park environment, right? So that's, that's the goal. And when I figured that out, okay, it's comedy, it's honesty. That's my thing. That's my angle. Now I need to put the work into getting these videos out so that people are seeing it show up with all the different noise. You watch a movie review by like Chris Stockman or Jeremy Johns. I want to see my shit in that related video, in that pool underneath of those videos or to the right of their videos. Oh, I see that this guy over here, he also reviewed this movie. Let's see what he had to say. Oh shit, I go to his channel. He's got a bunch of stuff. Let's dive in. That's the plan. And in order to do that, in order to get in YouTube's good graces, it means putting out a lot of content. That's what I've been trying to do for the last year and it thankfully has been working out. The combination of lives, the combination of shorts, doing more videos, starting the podcast, it's all helping with growth. Not amazing, not amazing numbers, but man, there was several years where I was flatlined or actually losing subscribers. That was a long answer, but I appreciate the question and the support. I'll probably leave with this. I'm in the middle of, I'm actually having an announcement video on this, going on the channel tomorrow, not just this live, but we talked about this, I think a week ago on a different live. Matt, I think, asked me, what's the deal with Water Wars? And I said that I am making them available for $10 patrons and $10 YouTube join members. I have all four of them, they're zipping them up and they're gonna be on Patreon and on YouTube join for those $10 tiers and hire tomorrow. So I'm very excited. Not only do I have the four Water Wars movies that I filmed and did with my buddies in late high school, early college years, but I also am kind of remaster slash cleaning them up. They're remasters, but it's a remaster of a remaster of an upload of a download of an upload of a, they're all over the place. I don't have the raw footage of these movies I shot on mini DV back in 1990, fuck all. And they've since been like converted to DVD, uploaded to the internet, then pulled down. But what I do have the ability to do is clean them up as much as possible, meaning bump up the color, fix some of the saturation issues, fix some of the audio issues, cut out some of the poorly paced moments, fix some of the edits. And so you're getting two versions if you are on those tiers. You're gonna get the four originals and then you're gonna get the four remasters that I'm doing. And honestly, it's been a blast going through and watching these movies and looking at what worked and just the fact that, like I said, 10 minutes back during my ramble, the fact that I actually did it, I sat down, I wrote out these 45 minute scripts for this stupid silly idea I had. I got all my buddies together. We didn't have money, no budget, no pay. And for three days, two, three days, we just all day, dawn till dusk, we're filming these movies. I mean, every, I feel like it was every four months over the span of maybe two years. We shot one of these water wars movies. So I look back on them with pride, even though obviously they're what they are. And it's motivated me to sit down again and plan out a script that I wanna actually try to pitch to a Netflix or a streaming service or at least find a connection to get it in front of. Or maybe even film some of it myself like as a test to show a company. Those are the goals I have. There's not gonna be any bullshit, like I need to get lighting, I need to do this, it's gonna happen. Finding the time, balancing it with this, my real job family. That's the challenge, but it's one that we can overcome. One shot, folks. We got one shot on this planet. So make the most of it. That's my little motivational pep talk for you. One shot. All right, I got another, Super Chat comes in from King Cold. Have the collaborations helped. I enjoy those. I think so, yeah. The collaborations have helped with Hack the Movies, kinda trying to make that our fast and the furious family. Me and Tony, we seem to have a good rapport. I like his stuff. I like his drive. I like his energy. He's more into the nostalgic side of things, which I'm trying to dive into a little bit more just to give us a little bit more parody, but I'm definitely, and I notice he's also getting more into the more modern movies with his monthly, like breakdowns. I always try to pimp his channel out, so that's Hack the Movies. Tony's the main guy over there. He's been doing this for a short while now. He used to write for Nostalgia Critic. He was part of Cinemassacre. Then he started doing his own channel. Yeah, it's been going very well for him. He'll come back on here at some point. We'll figure some collaboration out. Oh, Brian messaged me and I'll answer this because he did throw a super chat up before. If we went for stuff like Gold, Mythril, etc., do you prefer we use YouTube option or go to your Patreon? You have both, so I don't know. Yeah, Brian, it's a good question. I don't know either. Patreon, I think, takes... I'm not sure how the percentages break down. I definitely don't know how the fuck YouTube charges for anything. There's no breakdown on YouTube. I genuinely don't know when I get paid for the people that follow me over there. I'm sure I do. I hope I do, but I don't know what the YouTube take is. I should probably Google it and figure that all out. I only set up the YouTube join because people didn't want to use Patreon for whatever reason. They had something against them over there, and I don't care why. The option was available, so I was like, okay, if you were wanting to support me on YouTube, I flip a couple switches. I upload a couple perks. We're good to go in both places, so that's what I did. There's nothing more to it than that. I don't have a preference, I guess, is what I'm saying. Patreon seems to be easier for me because if you are at the Mithril level, YouTube doesn't have a chat feature, like a private, they used to years and years ago. They used to have a private chat you could do, but Patreon has individual chats, so if you sign up as a Mithril, you can personally message me and say, hey, Adam, this is the movie I want you to review in the three-month window, and then I'll get back to you as soon as I possibly can, which is typically within a day or so. That's what I try to do, sometimes a little bit longer, but I do my best, and we go from there. If you're a YouTube Mithril member, then you have to go on my Discord, is usually what I like at Adam Does Movies and privately message me on there, but then you can see how it gets a little bit messy. Then I have to kind of have conversations with people in both places and then put it in my master list, and then sometimes people are like, Adam, if you haven't done my movie yet, let's change it to this, and then I have to go back, and it gets a little bit hard to handle. My wife, Lindsay, will eventually kind of handle some of that stuff as well. Right now, she's doing the Facebook, Instagram garbage, and that's working out over there, I think. I don't know. I don't have time to deal with it much. I think people like it. The listening fat says yo. Just jumps in with a yo at the end. Theater says Adam is in talks with Netflix about water wars. Yeah, yeah, water wars is gonna get back. Human master surgeon throws out a water world reference. Dry land exists. I've seen it. Kevin Costner, water world. Is that line, do we talk about this? I had this conversation with someone else. Does Kevin Costner actually say dry land? I've seen it, or is that like a paraphrase by Jim Carrey and Cable Guy? Because that's all I remembered from is Jim Carrey saying dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner, water world. Brian says I'd rather pay through YouTube because it's familiar and easy. Plus, I've legit never once been to Patreon site. Yeah, and that's fine, Brian. That's perfectly acceptable. You're welcome to any support from any site is perfectly acceptable. That's why I have it. That's why it's there. Okay, so the rest of the week I have, let's end here. So tomorrow an announcement video goes out for the Water Wars Saga, I guess we could say. The season's collection since they take place in each of the four seasons. Or, yeah, so that's going out. The FastX reaction video goes out. The FastX review will go out Friday. I saw an early showing with Matt, my buddy who's also, I met through the channel. He lived in South Carolina so we were able to connect and we've been going in movies here and there. It's been a great time. We saw a movie early yesterday because it was that bullshit regal Monday mystery movie. Terrible film. I don't remember what it was called. It was like, let me look it up. Let me look it up because I can't remember it. Kandahar or Kandahar, something terrible film, incredibly boring, incredibly lame. I'm not even going to bother reviewing it because it's just so lame and I know no one cares to even see a review on it. But we'll put, we have a short that we did at least. I think I had one other video I was going to put out. Oh yeah, the Jennifer's Body review. Let's see what I have on the upcoming review list for members. Did Life Force? Life Force is done. Yeah, Jennifer's Body and then Deadstream, which I have never heard of. No idea what that is. And then three idiots. Those are the three on my upcoming members and then the next week will be the Lobster, Zulu, Wind River and hopefully Cats. Hopefully we can get, hopefully we can get like seven of these done in the next two weeks. That's the goal. Then I have a whole other set after that. Not a lot, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 13. 13's very manageable. We can get through and some of these I've seen. So I'll just need to refresh myself. I don't want to have to like do a full rewatch. Hopefully I won't have to do a full rewatch. Oh, it's a live chat. I apologize. Did you decide, did you decide for Bo is not afraid on your rod and to me to score fresher rod and as an official critic, I didn't actually, I didn't actually put a review up for it. I feel like I missed the window. So I didn't, I didn't put a review up. I can go in and do it now. I would put it as fresh though. If I do put it up, it will be fresh. And I think that's fair. I think that's honest. All right, guys, that's going to be it for me. One final, one final note. I can't remember if I brought this up already. Cringe is coming back for Patreon. $10 tier YouTube. Same thing, $10 tier. The cringe is coming back once a month. There will be a, there will be an announcement video on that once I'm in a comfortable spot with it. I have six videos, six video ideas for the cringe that I have lined up. It's going to be shot the same way as the old show. Green screen is going to be down using that Lego fake house in the background. Khaleesi Grimes is going to be back. I'm excited to do that show. But yeah, that's another thing that's going to be heading over there. We're trying to build up the membership stuff because YouTube payout is trash. So we got to build the community and that means giving away perks. Maybe I'll just be net. I'll just make a Netflix of water wars of movie boss of the cringe of all the stuff I've done and that will just be all housed under that Adam does movies network in here now. Not sure, but I have family that. Okay, so Lindsay's just I guess Lindsay's just damage control or talking to people in the chat. I'm done though. I'm leaving. Feel free to talk with my wife in the chat, but I'm done. So thank you guys very much for watching. We'll be doing another live on Friday. In the meantime, a lot of stuff in between. I'm a busy beaver. That's that's that's the thing people used to say. Now I'm saying it. Take care.