 I often say that changing your life is about changing the daily habits you do on a daily basis. But sometimes people do that and they don't change their life. Why is that? One little annoying thing that occurs in your subconscious called loops. What's up guys? Alex Hein here. So before we jump in, I've put together a free journaling worksheet. If you want to get your life together, it's the first link right below this video. It'll help you figure out not only how to design your dream life, but simple journaling exercises you could do every day to make that happen. You're also going to get a weekly email showing you some journaling exercises that you can do. So you check it out right below this video. So what is this idea of loops? Well, it all starts with this great quote by Carl Jung and he says, unless you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate. So what does this mean? To me, what this means is that all of us have these unresolved issues in our life. An unresolved issue could be simply a belief. And then our life becomes a series of self-fulfilling prophecies. Because we believe that all men are bad or our family is cursed with money or I'm never going to get better or I'm going to be sick or fat or whatever, just like my mom. But in reality, there's an element of truth to these, but actually they end up sealing your fate. One of the things I observed early in myself when I was working on myself and then actually having coached hundreds of people was that most of us tend to have one or two parts of our life where we continually struggle. So a lot of people, they struggle in the financial part of their life and other people, they struggle with their weight and their health and some people struggle in love. And these tend to be chronic issues that are never resolved for many people. Well, it's simple though, if this continues to be a problem, even though you're working on that part of your life, how is that possible? If you're doing the work and the only answer is that there is something unresolved psychologically about the way we view the world or the way we view that situation, which causes us to repeat the same thing over and over. So let me give a couple examples. The first thing is that if you want to see where the loops are in your life, first of all, look at the general quadrants of life. You have career and work, you have finance, you have friendships, you have love, you have happiness, maybe leisure, whatever else you want to throw in there. And the way you know there's a loop, aka a pattern forming, is that if you have consistently been doing poorly or consistently been complaining about one of these areas of your life, money, dating, you're never happy, you're never healthy, you never have the weight you want, there is probably a pattern, no surprise, that is causing that to be the case. Years ago, I was talking to one of my female friends who honestly I think is a catch. She's beautiful, smart, hardworking, has all the traits that I think make a great person. And so I was a little surprised to hear that she always says she struggles in love, meaning she says that she always dates these guys that don't treat her well. Now I know this is an archetypal female thing that I've heard many times, but what she said was that she always ends up basically doing whatever the guy likes, right? If he says he likes this food or that sport, she likes that food or she'll go to that sport game with him. If he says he likes a certain thing, whether it's a movie or a coffee shop he likes to go to, she'll watch that movie with him or that show or she'll go to that coffee shop with him. So she figured because you know, the way you get a guy to like you basically is to like the things he likes, right? If you just do all the things he likes, of course he's going to love you. But what ended up happening was that this woman who really is a catch, she's not a basket case. She had her life together. She ended up getting treated very poorly by the guy she dated and she was very perplexed after the third guy in a row ended up treating her poorly and cheating on her. She just decided to swear off dating for a while and was going to figure out this problem in her life. Now for her, she had observed a loop. If it happened three times, it's probably sure as hell is a loop. It's a pattern that we are somehow contributing to or are completely contributing to. Now what she realized was that despite being a catch, her pattern in relationships was really to date dominant men that she felt like maybe were like her dad a little bit like she had to tiptoe around. She couldn't fully be herself. She had to be a little bit more passive to mold herself around this stronger masculine presence. And so what happened was she turned herself basically into a pretzel, right? She would do whatever the guy did, not what she wanted because she wanted to be liked and wanted security. So her pattern was compromising her own values and interests and hobbies and ideals to get this guy that she liked to like her. That was her loop. When she figured it out, she broke it. Another example, one of my entrepreneur friends was always in the habit of doing these businesses that he was passionate about, right? He's a multi passionate creative entrepreneur. And after the third or fourth business failed, he began to get very negative. He was being very critical of successful entrepreneurs. Anyone, especially creatives or in similar fields that have succeeded, he would say they're full of it. They do garbage work. They just got lucky. Their dad somehow helped them. They had money. You could tell he was in a negative headspace. Now the problem was every single business of his, even though he did good work, even though he worked hard, even though he's a smart guy was always about what he wanted. He was chasing his passion. But for him, what he realized the loop was that he was starting businesses he was passionate about. But the customers that were going to pay him money were not necessarily passionate about one of the businesses was this online kind of quiz that he thought would be fun. But apparently no one else did. Another one was a certain kind of artistic craft that again, he thought was so special and unique. And his mommy told him so too. But no one else paid for it. So clearly other people didn't value it, or maybe didn't value it at that price point. When he realized that all of his businesses, the trend was that he was building businesses that he loved. But maybe no one else did. When he realized this, that was his loop because he kept doing entrepreneurship over and over and it never worked out. So something he was doing was contributing about his beliefs or as the glasses he was wearing. And when he realized that was his pattern, he broke that loop. Now my opinion, the reason why we can't get our shit together or get our life together is usually that idea of us repeating the same thing over and over. But the hardest things to not repeat are the things that you can't see. Because if you don't know you're doing those things, like my friend bending herself into a pretzel over love, it is very difficult to change those things. It's easy to look at your diet or look at calories. But what about the invisible, the depths of the subconscious or the unconscious, as they used to say, that is a lot harder. And I think the deepest kind of work. That's my two cents today for really how to get your life together. The big picture is do the deeper subconscious because if you do that, then the daily habit changing is easy. Alright guys, before you go, free journaling worksheet and a weekly email series on journaling below that can help you do just that. And then before you go, two other videos that can help you there.