 Forgive me. Hey, I'm just testing out this on YouTube live Testing out YouTube live Want to pop in I got a question today and Well, I see this question all the time when I'm doing my Instagram Q&A and the question is How do I know if a man is interested and today? I've been hearing a lot, you know in coaching sessions women saying to me Oh, if a man contacts me every day, it's creepy And that always kind of creeps me out because I'm like wouldn't you want to hear from someone every day if They're interested in you or if you're interested in them And so one thing I see a lot is that Because of social media today because of the text message society and because of the dating apps men have a lot more women to Entertain so if a man goes on a dating app, he's meeting five to ten Datable women every single week. So you're talking 20 to 40 dateable women every month and then Because of text message you can text with five to seven to ten different people at one time and so you text a lot and a lot of women today are putting a lot of emphasis on the Hello, beautiful like that good morning text in the morning Which it means nothing because you literally can have a list of ten women Text hello, beautiful Copy it and then just paste it in the next nine messages and you're done in like 20 seconds And then women are taking that and fantasizing and just letting it mean something let me mean all this But I'm gonna tell you the number one key to know that a man is interested in you for the right reasons Truly interested in you for the right reasons is this man will get on the phone with you every single day For at least an hour Now I know some of y'all say look I don't have time to talk to a man for an hour for at least an hour He will get on the phone if that means from 9 p.m. To 10 p.m. 10 p.m. To 11 p.m You know that last conversation before bed or if it means 15 minutes in the morning when you're heading to work 15 minutes at lunch so that you still have some time to eat your lunch in peace 15 minutes after work when you're heading home and 15 minutes at night to say good night However, it breaks down and this isn't you know an exact science But understand that at least an hour a day, okay 45 is about the same thing 30 is still something but truthfully when a man is interested truly interested it's going to be about an hour a day and then If he's really really interested and you have the time Then he will Give you two hours three hours four hours. I've been married 12 years I don't know how the cameras flip, but this my left hand I've been married 12 years and when I met my wife We sat down our first conversation we talked for six hours We sat down the next day on the bench outside of her apartment. We talked another six hours When I was at my apartment and she was at her apartment We would get on the phone every night and talk two three four hours and we would be in person We would be talking like four hours minimum why I was extremely into her and I came from being a womanizer A dog a liar a cheater a manipulator a deceiver. So what I'm saying is if the absolute worst man Worst type of man the biggest player can meet a woman really like that woman and give that type of time and energy then The everyday guy who's not really a womanizer not really promiscuous Then he definitely should be given that type of time and energy And then as a woman if you're like look, I don't want to talk to nobody that much You have to question if you really want to be dating and you got a question Why you got a question if you've dated so many tough guys so many bad boys that call you every other day You know talk just text you Majority of the times in communication He's just texting if you've gone through that so much to where that has become your norm And you've been accustomed to become accustomed to in condition to just getting Mostly text message communication or like five ten minute phone calls You're talking like that you can't even get to know a person text is not real In building a relationship text is not real. It is not real There's too much time to think about what you're gonna say There's too many messages that can just be copy and pasted to every single person text is not real You need to be able to talk to a person on the phone where the conversation is fluid To where they don't have time to think up lies to try to come up with all this game They just got to be able to talk from the heart You can ask questions boom boom boom right on the spot get real time answers And to be honest with you if you live in the same city A lot of these conversations can be in person or you can do it by FaceTime where you can see a person's Facial response you can see what they're saying because today in this dating app society you really want to Take up as much time as the person you're dating As you can without neglecting your priorities Don't neglect your priorities. Don't neglect your job. Don't neglect your children if you have children Is don't neglect your sleep So there should be no neglecting But you should be taking up as much of that free time as you have to get to know someone Because if you're just texting or if you're just talking on the phone every other day every three days You're wasting your time and here's the issue with that when you're not talking consistently and actively The issue with that when you're trying to build a relationship or you're trying to sustain a relationship like my wife and I When I you know, she's cooking for my son. We just got home from soccer practice My five-year-old he's already in bed my 12 year old We just came home so my wife is cooking for him. So they give me some time to come talk to you When he's done eating he's getting in the shower that he's going he has to do some homework Then he's going to bed. Let's say he gets in bed 9 30 Me and my wife we we will sit and talk from 9 30 Probably to 10 30 11 30 sometimes midnight sometimes one two in the morning Why sustaining and building the relationship 12 years into marriage We still try to talk an hour or more every single day Sustaining building the relationship. I got a flight to california tomorrow You know, so when I get in the hotel room if I can get in before she has gone to bed We will talk two hours on the phone Sustaining and building the relationship See what happens when you don't do that is if you talk to somebody on monday And then you just text on tuesday And then you talk on wednesday you just text on thursday What happens is a man has time to fill in other women on those in between days and then also Women what y'all do Is when you talk to a man on monday You will fantasize about him on tuesday And then you'll be fantasizing about this man You're thinking about how nice he is how sweet he is how amazing he is And you're not paying attention to his lack of effort and his lack of attention and his lack of Actions that he's not showing up on a daily basis And you may be okay with it if you've been conditioned or you've been telling yourself That you don't want to talk to a man every day because of your life If that's the case you shouldn't be dating because a man has to talk to his woman every day Just to stay focused because men you've heard before that a man has a sexual thought every 15 seconds Whatever if a man is with a woman He has to be into that woman And he has to stay locked in and focused if not that idle mind becomes a devil's playground And he'll be tiptoeing around before you know it. He'll be cheating He'll be juggling multiple women and that's what a lot of men are doing today So when you are dealing with a man and you come and you say listen, Tony You know a lot of my coaching sessions. I'm coaching clients and they're like, oh, we talk like every other day Two or three times a week. I'm like, how long have y'all been doing that? Oh three or four months six months eight months. I'm like No, sir. Rebaugh. That's that you wasting all of your time Because what's happening is See men have heard of the 90 day rule. They've heard of that I created it in 2007 Steve Harvey made a famous in 2009 But I published it in my book in 2007. It was called a three month rule Men have heard of this Where that they need to give three months before they can expect anything So what a player what a womanizer what a cool dude with a bad boy What the swagalicious dude gonna do is he's gonna talk to you Every other day And he's gonna appease you with maybe a selfie Little picture and some text on them in between days while he's talking to his other women But what's happening is you're giving him credit For the days that he wasn't even present so He's talking to you every couple of days every few days every four days And you're thinking about him in between so you're giving him credit that he has not even earned Just because your mind is fantasizing and going all this way and that way So hey understand that if a man is into you He's going to call you every day not just text He's going to call you every day and he's going to try to give you at least an hour of his time And get an hour of your time or more If he is truly i'm talking about husband Materia, but now this is the other this the key right here It does not count the same If he lives with a roommate Or he lives with his mother Or he's out of work Or you make more money than him What I mean by this and let's make it simple Let's make it plain if he needs you In some way shape or form financially you know Something like that if you are doing better than him Then the amount of communication does not count the same But when a man is bringing to the table Equal or greater what you're bringing to the table and he's steady and he's stable and he's independent like you He's not a codependent with his mom or with his roommate. He's not a dependent living off of someone else And and without a job, but he has a job. He has his own place. He has his own car and You're not necessarily like a prize on a pedestal like y'all are Equals you two dimes your two dimes come together. It's not a nickel trying to get a dime When that is the case And i'm in that man who has something to bring to the table is giving you an hour a day And I know y'all talking about oh, I don't need an hour. I ain't got that much time You ain't got that much time You don't need to be dating then because if you can't dedicate an hour a day to building relationship There's somebody who can kill you. This is somebody who can steal from you. This is somebody who can walk you down the aisle Give your give you his last name to and and then divorce you in a year and take half of everything that you have You already have your house. You already have your car. You already have a savings He'll be asking for alimony. He'll be asking for everything So if you don't have an hour a day Even if it has to be broken up that you can talk to a person not on text message You don't need to be dating. You're not ready to date If your heart can't handle it if your schedule can't handle it, you don't need to be in a relationship And if a man cannot give you that he's not ready for a relationship He's not really trust me Y'all think that i'm talking to you just a talking head. There's a lot of talking heads out here But i'm a professional relationship coach. I'm in the trenches every single day. I know what Makes it see a lot of people you just in your relationship. I'm in thousands of relationships So I get to see the data of what makes a relationship work and have longevity And not just the exception to the rule because you may be an exception to the rule I'm talking about the majority. I'm talking about the rule So talk an hour a day If that could be on FaceTime then FaceTime If you live close and it could be in person let it be in person But set boundaries around that because you don't need to end up in the bed And we'll talk about that later on tomorrow calls. But hey, this Tony Gaskin. I just want to try this youtube live Thank you all so much for being on here um I might like this better than instagram live and I could do it landscapes to the portrait So hey, god bless y'all. We'll talk soon in this