 I'm gonna ruin me, just say your name. That's it, just vocal practice. All right, so, D, I'm Brandon. I'm a rancher, yeah. I'm D. I'm kitchen. I'm kitchen. He's skipping him. Go Bob. I'm Bob. I'm Olivia. I'm Jasmine. I'm John. I'm Dia. Oh, I'm right here. Okay. I'm Regine. I'm Cat. I'm Jade. I'm Dana. I'm Rock. I'm Jose. I'm Jerry. I'm Kristen. I'm Kaban. I'm Dominique. I'm Becky. I'm DJ. I'm John. I'm Ty. I'm Ace. All right. Hey guys, well, like I said, my name is Ty. This is my cousin Allen. I help him with what we need to talk. We understand that these kind of discussions sometimes can be very, very personal. We hope that everybody respects each other and each other's opinions. But we've also decided to add the use of social media in these discussions. We understand that a lot of people that are here are very adamant about how they feel. But there are also some people who may not feel comfortable saying whatever they feel. So we decided to implement Yik Yak. How many of y'all know what Yik Yak is? All right, if you have Yik Yak on your phone, please feel free. If you have an opinion or something that you're not quite comfortable saying out loud, you can put it in Yik Yak. We'll be checking that periodically throughout the conversation. Just put hashtag we need to talk so that we can look at it When I posted an advertisement for this, one thing I found was a study done in, I think, 1999. They pulled some people and they asked the same question, is homosexuality a choice? 49% said, yes, it's a, I mean, no, it's a choice. It's not a choice in time. And the other 51% said, yes, it's a choice. So let's do a little polling here. By a show of hands, who thinks it's a choice? Who thinks it's not a choice? Okay, it's kind of the same thing. Almost. Who didn't raise their hand? Okay, let's start with you then. No. Let's start with the fence. We'll go that way. So why are you on the fence? Just because, I feel like it's not really a fair definite yes and no, because it's a mixed population. So you might have people within this community who did choose that way according to like certain states and what not, where they might feel more comfortable in that certain, you know, way or what not. And then you also have people who actually thought that they were born that way and they felt like that from the right way. So that's why I can't really say yes. And not calling up. Please speak up when you're talking, please, because we're before you. Yeah, but, okay, so does anybody want to define the word choice as it relates to them? What do you think of choice? Anybody? Something you like. It's just something you're interested in so you choose to... So is it a predisposition or is it just something you come to at a certain age? I think it's like both. Because, you know, like when you're little, you don't really think about it as much as you would if you get older. But I feel like, you know, you don't really know when you develop a liking to a certain gender. You know what I'm saying? Like when you're little, let's say like seven or eight, you're in kindergarten at first grade. You're just playing in the playground. You don't really think about what you like or who is what but then, you know, as you get older, you don't develop puberty or hormones and stuff like that. You know, you don't really choose at that time to like a certain gender but, you know, the urge is there from the start. Okay. For the people who raise their hand for choice, does anybody want to elaborate on that or would you like a question? Let's have a bunch of them. Alright. I said choice but I feel the same way you feel about the issue. It's a choice for certain people. I know with me it was a choice when I decided that I wanted to live this lifestyle but for others, it not necessarily wasn't a choice and I think it's kind of hard to define what is a choice and what is not because when you're in a predicament where you're being bullied it leaves from being a choice because it comes to you as the only option then. So therefore you don't categorize that as sure you say this is my only option either. I'm going to live life feeling to me or comply with what everybody else think is right. So therefore, no it's not a choice anymore. It's what you feel is the only option. So that's why, you know, it's like on defense situations. So thinking back on what he said, I can fully understand like sometimes it's that gravitational pull from somebody else when one group doesn't accept you. It's like you go to the group who does accept you so you start to assimilate in some instances, you start to assimilate to that group. Now I never really thought about how she said it but after she said it, I can see it being both ways with some people as it being a choice with some and then it might not be in the choice for others but like I said it's like you go to who accepts you the most so you assimilate to who accepts you. Like he said it was his choice that the group that accepted him so that's the group for lack of a better work assimilates. Okay. Do you guys think there's a distinction between homosexuality and men and women? Does anybody think it's... Like do you think a gay man is different than a gay woman? Pretty much. Thought process? Maybe not necessarily that the feelings between the two are different because I feel like you can be a homosexual female and feel just as strongly about your partner as a homosexual male would but I feel like how we look at it is different than how it actually is within the relationship. That did not. Do any of you guys know people who desire short of people they female examples because I don't know any male examples but say they were heartbroken in the past by men and then turn around and now they're like who knows people like that? What do you guys think on those people? I think you might go back to what she said she's not being accepted by I guess man so she turns to what he does accept and you get it Is it that easy? Not that way That's interesting I really think that's where people get this idea where if you're gay one day you can change the next because a lot of people aren't really gay and they go and do gay things with other people and it gets people thinking if you're straight then if you're gay now you can be straight but it's really not that easy Ok let me ask you all this if for some reason we lived in that world who would still be there seeing sexuality? Anybody want to elaborate on that? If we live in that alternate parallel universe I believe that I would not have the same sexuality as I did before My decision to live just like that I chose if I can remember correct it was solely on the purpose of I wanted to be different and it might be like y'all may say that's like a whack behind reason but I wanted to be different and I said well that's different so I chose it and I felt as if it was in that universe where that seemed right me wanting to be different would gravitate me towards being heterosexual if that makes sense awkwardly it's meant to I guess my mind to my madness but yeah I would go against the grain in that universe You've been this far a sexual alien I've probably been a little bit a child you can't make me like something I don't like stop being something I am From as far as I can remember I was kind of young at that point Oh hey I'm thinking that you told him I'm like two years old The way he was just saying it I was about to ask why but you said you can't really recall At what age, okay let's say it is a choice or it is it is just something you're born with At what age do you realize that or do you make that choice with any of you guys say it was cool I would say I would like to say that because my niece she's only like 5 she's showing signs that she's going to like girls and that makes me think when she comes home she's like I got a girlfriend and I'm like wait you got a what how do you understand what's going on she's attracted to girls she don't play with balls she just like girls she just it wasn't even one it was to this side that I'm okay with it because it was never something or I'm going to wake up today it wasn't like that it was something I just had to the people going to talk about me I just have to accept the fact that I'm different can you just ask me what's the difference between the lifestyle and what your sexuality to me what that means is your sexuality is pretty much what you like playing the symbol of what you like lifestyle is the exactly there's a certain heterosexual lifestyle there's a homosexual lifestyle you know I'm going to give you all a little background on why I wanted to talk about this so I'm African I'm from Nigeria so it's time by halfway but but in Nigeria this is I didn't know what gay was until I came to this country it's one of those topics where there is a unified kind of idea of which right and wrong and homosexual was wrong as far as I knew it was wrong and I don't know at what age I started thinking about it I was like if this is a choice at what point did I choose to be heterosexual I didn't have an answer which kind of which kind of led me to lean towards the it's not a choice thing because who am I to say you made a choice about what you like and I can't tell you when I made a choice about what I like and then the video it's like what if some people's sexuality is only based on what society deans is doing and that's the reason I wanted to talk about that you know forward for the heterosexual you can answer that question I think you mean as far as whether it's a choice or not I think basically also okay Nigeria it's divided between Muslims and Christians where we're from it's primarily Christian and one of the major one of the major opposers of homosexuality is religion Christianity specifically and that's I was always taught that homosexuality is wrong according to religion according to religion and you know I got to thinking about it and I was like well is homosexuality a choice or is it just something you're born into and I was thinking about it and I was like you know what okay according to religion homosexuality is a sin but so is lying lying is also a sin lusting is a sin and we as humans put levels to those behaviors but what I was taught is that God and I'm not the perfect, probably the only Christian please don't look at me like that but God looks at everything the same so I feel like just as we're all born in the same we can't help sometimes if we lie we just do it subconsciously it just comes out I feel like it's the same way with being gay the same way that if I see a fine girl with a really big butt I'm probably going to look and I'm going to have to go back and ask for forgiveness or whatever but you know what I'm saying but that's just in me to do that and I can't help it you know what I'm saying I can try to fight it but if you catch me on a bad day like I have to just go look and I feel like it's the same way and so I feel like that's where a lot of I feel like that's where a lot of confusion comes in and I feel like with religion and stuff where they may make somebody feel ostracized or something like that because of you know and I don't feel like it is a choice necessarily I feel like you can choose whether to continue that way but I feel like inside you can't help me you know what I'm saying yeah like what he said now I believe that it's not a choice the choice is whether you decide to accept it or not and deny everything that you want to be just so you don't get stand stand out in society because that's probably what happened before we were born and that's why now it's being more accepted more people like that are older are coming out and saying they're gay then back then it's being more it's more accepted now so they ignore the signs and deny everything right then but now they're allowing it like some people they'll have a smokescreen say that like they were married and stuff but then they notice that it's being more accepting in society to be gay so they'll have a divorce and come out as gay just because they were afraid at that point in time of society's reaction to being gay you think they were gay before or they chose to be gay when they got gay they were gay before but society made them afraid to publicly be gay society makes it feel like that lifestyle was not one that was ever going to be accepted because you were like dead on in my head like thoughts here but like he said Christians we put a level we put a level on sin like because you're gay I feel like I'm better than you but my sin is just as bad I cuss on a day without 50 million times a day I'm the professor of cussing one on one but I can't feel like your sin is homosexual my personal sin that I struggle with is cussing but that doesn't make me any better than you because you're sin different I'm still sinning guys still see me sinning I'm still sinning our sins are on the same level just like my sin is still on the same level as a murderer everything is the same in guys eyes but we as humans we put everything on a level like all right lying you down here cussing you a little above here you know you put everything on a level well if he's going to hell because he's a homosexual then hell I'm going to hell too because I cuss like and I know tomorrow like he's going out in style within the next hour or so see the thing with that is the thing with that is like society we put labels on so much things that we do