 Mother, is Maxwell House really the only coffee in the world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young as father. A half-hour visit with your neighbors, the Andersons, brought to you by America's favorite coffee, Maxwell House. The coffee that's always good to the last drop. In the third act of Romeo and Juliet, the fair miscapulet comes up with a dilly. Was ever book containing such vile matter so fairly bound, she asks. You know what she meant? Don't judge a book by its cover, that's all. Well, in Springfield, in the White Frame House on Maple Street, the Andersons aren't quite as flowery as Juliet, but they're going to be given a treat just the same in the fine art of judging books and other things, like this. Margaret, I'm home! Margaret! What's going on in here? Didn't you hear me call? I'm sorry, dear. We didn't know you'd come in. Hi, Daddy. Hello. I've been standing in the hall for ten minutes, screaming my head off. Well, we seem to have a little problem. Father, I couldn't help it. Really, I couldn't. What did she do now? She's in love, Kathy. Mush, that's all it is. Just plain mush. Never mind, bud. Margaret, I may be a little dense, but since when does Betty, falling in love, constitute a problem? Father! She changes boyfriends like I change my socks. Jim, the problem is not Betty's new boyfriend. Well, Kathy just said... I said she was in love, and she is. Why don't you mind your own business? I do. I mind everybody's business. Mush, that's all it is. Mush. But if that's the most you can add to the general conversation. Well, holy cow, Dad. I'm hungry. Well, we'll have dinner a very few minutes, but not until your father knows what Betty has done. Done? You make it sound like I robbed a bank. Has she? Father. And stop saying father. Jumping creepers. That's better. Jim. Honey, give me the horrible details of Betty's latest crime, and let's eat. She invited the Van Norton's to Sunday dinner. Fine. Now if it's... Who? The Van Norton's. The Van Norton's? The Van Norton's. What did she do that for? I told you, Father. I couldn't help it. She thinks he's gorgeous. I do not. Oh, you told Jane Liggity was? I never did. Kathy? Oh, you did too. You took the phone into the hall closet, and you thought I couldn't hear. And you told Jane, Mother. All right, girls. That'll be enough. But, Father. I said that'll be enough. Daddy? Yes? She said he was gorgeous. Mush. That's all it is. Mush. Look, as long as we're getting into this thing, let's start from the beginning. Who is gorgeous? Roger Van Norton. Only I never said he was. She did too. Kathy, you stay out of this. Yes, Daddy. When I want you to tell me something, I'll ask you. Yes, Daddy. All right. But she did. Margaret. There's nothing very complicated about it, Jim. Roger Van Norton and Betty have been seeing quite a bit of one another at school. He has a convertible. Well, if it isn't complicated, what's the problem? It gets complicated later. Thank you very much. You're welcome. Betty invited Roger to dinner. Well, only because he said he thought it would be nice. I see. He's the subtle kind. He's a drip. Mother, if you don't make them stop. But when you have as much money as the Van Norton's, you can't be a drip. He's a rich drip. He is one of the nicest boys in the whole school. And he's coming to dinner. With his family. And his convertible. That's the part I don't understand. The convertible? The family. I don't understand any of it. It wasn't my idea, Father, about the family. He said he thought it would be nice. What would? If we met. I thought you knew him. She means the family's dear. Oh, not the convertibles. The convertible. That was a joke, Dopey. What was? What Dad said. It was? It was his kind of a joke. Oh. Well, now that that's all straightened out. May I ask just one more question? What's the problem? Father, we just told you. Look, let's make believe I just got back from a long trip into the heart of the African jungle. Jim. We haven't seen one another in almost eight years. And I say, what's the problem? Now, what do you say? Hello, Daddy. Well, he said we hadn't seen him in eight years. Jim, it's really very simple. The whole problem is the rose chair in the living room. I think I'll go back to the jungle. Father, you've never seen the Van Norton's house. It has a swimming pool and a tennis court. I still don't see... And six bedrooms. What's that got to do with the rose chair in the living room? Being repaired, isn't it? They brought it back today. All right. If they didn't do a good job, make them do it over. Well, they did a wonderful job, dear. It looks just like new. It makes everything else look awful. Wait a minute. You mean because we have one chair recovered, we've got to have the whole house done over? Oh, no, dear. Wow. Just the living room. Now, just a minute. If Betty wants to invite the Van Norton's over for dinner, that's all right. But... I'm as broad-minded as anybody. Just because the Van Norton's are the richest people in Springfield, that doesn't mean they aren't as good as anyone else. They might very easily be. The doorbell rang. But when you tell me I've got to have the whole living room done over, well, that's carrying things a little too far. Jim. The doorbell rang. As far as I'm concerned, the living room looks fine. And if anybody thinks I'm going to change it, they've got another thing coming. The doorbell rang. But it just needs a little paint. But didn't you hear the doorbell? Sure. Well, what are you waiting for? Betty shook her head. Margaret, I don't know what's gotten into these children. I swear I don't. They don't even make sense. I didn't do anything. But see who's at the door. Why blame it on me? I didn't shake my head. It was Betty. Jim, I think there's something you ought to know. I think there are a lot of things I ought to know. Father, promise you won't make a scene. About what? The decorator. What decorator? The one who rang the bell. You sent for a decorator? Mom, it's Mr. Worthington. Oh, dear. Tell him we'll be right in. Tell him to go away. Jim, please. Honey, I told you in the very beginning... Betty, why don't you and Kathy go into the living room and entertain Mr. Worthington? But I want to tell Father... I'll tell your father everything he needs to know. Go ahead. Come on, Kathy. Why don't we have... Now... Margaret, in the first place... In the first place, Jim Anderson, you've got to realize that we have a definite obligation to our children. I never said that we didn't, but... And when the recognized social leaders of our town show an interest in our daughter, the very least we can do is make the best possible impression. Well, sure, but... For her sake. Margaret, if we've got to get new furniture and repaint the whole house every time we want to make a good impression... Have you ever said anything about new furniture? You said... And no one mentioned repainting the whole house. Then why did you call Worthington? He's the most expensive decorator in Springfield. He won't look at a job that's under $500. Well... You mean we're going to spend $500 on the living room? It shouldn't be much more than that. More! On one room? You have no idea how expensive good painters have become. Who's he going to hire, Michelangelo? Of course, if you don't want your daughter to meet the right sort of people... That isn't the point. I'm as good a father as anybody in Springfield. But $500 for one room? Why don't we do it ourselves? Jim, that's ridiculous, and you know it. Why is it? We can get a few cans of paint and a couple of brushes and have it finished in no time at all. What's ridiculous about that? But every time you've offered to paint anything in the past... This is different. We can all pitch in and help. $500. There isn't that much paint in the whole state. Oh, dear. Now I don't know what to do. Honey, please, it's a favor to me. Let's do it my way. Just this once. You won't get tired right in the middle of a wall. Of course not. You'll use just the colors I choose. I'll paint the room lavender and puse, if that's what you want. I still think we ought to let Mr. Worthington... Margaret, look. I won't even go into the office tomorrow. I'll buy the paint and some new brushes and I'll spend the whole day doing just what you want me to do. Well... All right, Jim. But remember, if you do one little thing... Margaret, so help me. When I'm finished, you'll be the happiest woman in Springfield. I hope so. Now, you'd better tell Mr. Worthington we've changed our minds. We've changed our minds. I never wanted him in the first place. Jim, if you're going to be difficult about it... Okay, if that's the way you feel. Mommy! Mr. Worthington says he has to talk to you about colors. Your father's going right in, aren't you, dear? Yes, dear. Into the Valley of Death, March the 600. Who? Never mind, dear. Your father's being funny. Again? I never saw it to fail. Anytime there's an unpleasant job, I have to do it. I never wanted the guy in the very beginning... Mother, did it work? Did he say he would? Your father starts painting in the morning. Oh, Mother, you're a genius. Oh, it wasn't anything, really. But how did you do it? Last time, he swore he'd never paint another thing as long as he lived. Well, it's very simple, dear. You just use the same thing that wives have been using on husbands for thousands and thousands of years. Child psychology. Mother may well be the family genius, but there are times when the man of the house is well worth listening to. Yes, and when he says, Best coffee I ever tasted. Why, those words should warm your heart. Because when it comes to coffee, that husband of yours has a mighty important title. Yes, ma'am, he's the world's greatest coffee expert. Of course, you might call us experts, too. More families do enjoy our Maxwell House than any other brand. But when you pour the coffee, the expert with the final word, he's your husband. And tomorrow, if you'll serve him Maxwell House, we're sure he'll beam and say, Best coffee I ever tasted. In fact, if he doesn't, we'll give you your money back. We're that sure. You see, no other coffee has that wonderful good to the last drop flavor. Because no other coffee has our famous Maxwell House recipe, a recipe demanding certain special coffees blended just so. That's right, no coffee tastes like Maxwell House, because no coffee's made like Maxwell House. So tomorrow, get a pound of our coffee. Fill your husband's cup with Maxwell House. If he doesn't say, Best coffee ever, why, just send us the can and unused portion, and we'll gladly refund every penny you paid. Our address is right on every familiar blue tin. That's our story. Tomorrow, then, won't you serve your expert coffee with the world's most famous flavor? Serve your husband Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. There's an old Dutch proverb that says, Paint cost nothing, such are its preserving qualities. Well, that's a fine slogan for the people who sell the stuff, but they better not mention it to Jim Anderson. It's Sunday in Springfield, and paint is a pretty sore subject in the White Frame House on Maple Street. At any rate, it's going to be, very shortly, like this. All right, but shove the couch a little toward me. Okay, that's fine. Now, is that covered, Kathy? Yes, Daddy. How about the spot near the fireplace? We'll hang a picture over it. We used up all the pictures for the other spots. Well, we'll get another picture. Are there any left in your room, bud? Nope, on yours either. I don't know. How could one small child make such a large mess in such a short time? I don't think it looks bad. I kind of like it. When your mother gets back, well, I hate to think of it. I didn't know it wasn't the same color paint. It's set green. Why didn't you just leave it the way it was? I don't know. I'll bet we've got more pictures in our living room than anybody in Springfield. When the Van Norten's get here, they won't know if this is the Anderson's or the American Museum of Art. Maybe Mommy won't notice it. Now, there's a brilliant thought. Maybe if we stand in the middle of the room and put lampshades over our heads, she won't notice us. Where are you going? To get a lampshade. Come back here. And keep your hands off the wall. Yes, Daddy. You know, Dad, I still think it doesn't look too bad. If you like pictures. I like pictures as well as anybody. But I still think we ought to be able to see the wall. Daddy. It's all right, kitten. I'll explain the whole thing to your mother. I better get out of here. You stay right where you are. But I just remembered a date I forgot. Well, forget you remembered it. Jim, we got the loveliest flowers. Oh, that's fine, dear. We're in this together and we'll stay in it together. Father. Uh, yes. Practically everything's in the living room. Back of you, Daddy. Please. Now no one's going to hurt you, Kathy. Jim, you have never seen such beautiful flowers in your gym. Now, now, just take it easy, honey. And I'll explain the whole thing. You see. But you better grab some of these before they... Uh, sit down, Betty, while I tell you what happened. You see. My living room. What have you done to my living room? Well, why don't we think of it as our living room and it won't hurt you? A half hour. I haven't been gone more than a half hour and look what you've done to this room. Oh, but how could you? Me? Just because you don't like Roger Van Norton. All I did was carry pictures and move furniture. Why blame it on me? Well, will someone please tell me the meaning of this art gallery? I was just trying to fix it, Mommy. She made a little smudge, Margaret. That's all she did. A smudge? With her basketball. So she got a can of paint to touch it up. And that made another smudge. You mean in back of each of those pictures is a smudge? Well, not exactly. They are drips. Well, you know what it means. We'll have to do the entire wall over. I know, honey, but we can't do it today. And I thought while the Van Norton's were here... We can't let them see this. Why, they think we were out of our minds. I've got news for you. They'd be right. I don't think it looks so bad. It's kind of cheerful. The only boy in the whole school with a convertible and you have to do this. Bud, push the couch back where it belongs. You won't like it, Mom. Why, uh... Why don't we just leave everything the way it is? And then tomorrow? There can't be a smudge that big. No, but... Well, you see, I didn't know Kathy had the paint can on the chair. Jim, you didn't. Of course not. I, uh... Stepped in it, that's all. But you see, when it tipped over... You mean it's all over the floor, right? Just under the couch, honey. But we can take care of that. Why didn't you hang some pictures on the ceiling? Because the paint didn't splash that high. Look, it's only on this one wall, Margaret, and if you'll just listen to reason... I've listened all I intend to listen. Kathy, take these flowers into the kitchen. Yes, Mommy. I just wanted to help. Bud, go up to the attic and get some more pictures. More? You'll find them in the box marked blankets. But, Mom, if we... And stop arguing. I wasn't arguing, but if you put any more pictures... Holy cow! Honey, don't you think we've got enough pictures now? If we put up any more... We've got to balance the ones you put up. As long as you've got them clear to the floor, we'll have to put them clear to the ceiling. But who looks at pictures up there? The same people who crawl on the floor to look at them down there. Honey, that's the way you want it. Mother, they're here! Oh, no, they can't be. Let's all hide in the cellar. Maybe they'll go away. What are we going to do? Jim, you've got to keep them out of here. Okay, where'd you put my shotgun? Jim! Will you please let them in? You just said to keep them out. Out of the living room. Oh, uh, how do I do that? Take them into the den. Take them anywhere. But don't let them in here. Okay, come on, Betty. Mother! I'll be in in just a few minutes. Father, what if they go right in? Very simple. We'll just hit them over the head with a meat cleaver. Father! All right, Betty. Let's, uh, smile. I wish I were dead. Well, hello! Hello, Mr. Anderson. Hello, Roger. Hi, Betty. Come on in. No sense standing out there in the cold. Well, Mr. Anderson, we feel this is quite an imposition. It's no such thing. Why, we've been looking forward to seeing you. Come on in, Roger. No one's gonna bite you. Hello, Mr. Anderson. Father, this is Roger. You know, I had a sneaking suspicion that's who it might be. Glad to know you, son. And I'm his old man. I suspected that, too. Well, now that we know who everybody is, let's go someplace and sit down. Just let me have your things, and we can all go into the den and be comfortable. Roger, why don't you help Mr. Anderson like a good boy? Mom. Oh, I keep forgetting he isn't a good boy anymore. He's a young man. Well, whatever it is, let's go sit down. Mr. Van Norton. Nilly, I told you, in the very beginning, I didn't want to wear these shoes. Please, D. Oh, they're friends. They don't mind if I call you Tilly. Do you, Jim? No, not at all. My name's Jake. Jake? Well, if you want to be technical, it's Westbrook, Sylvester, Van Norton, the third. Horrible thing to hang on a kid, wasn't it? Everybody just calls me Jake. Okay, Jake. The den's right in here. My mother said she'd only be a moment. Oh, that's quite all right, dear. Oh, my feet are killing me. What seems to be the trouble? These shoes. Never had them on before. Well, sit down. Take it easy. Oh, that's a little better. Dad, for crying out loud. He thinks I'm going to disgrace him. Jake has such a lot of trouble with his feet. It isn't my feet. It's these shoes. Jim, tell me the truth. Would you have noticed if I'd been wearing my whole shoes? I don't think so. There. You see, Rog, I could have been comfortable all the time. But no, I had to wear my new shoes. We had to make a good impression. If they hurt, why don't you take them off? You mean you won't mind? Of course not. Jake. Well... Holy cow, Dad. Holy cow. Is he a holy cower? Never stops. Is yours? Chief stable boy. Oh, brother, does that feel good? Oh, Kathy. I'm fixing the flowers. Run upstairs and get my slippers for Mr. Van Norton. Okay. And put the light on under the coffee. Okey-doke. Jim, I love you like a brother. Dad, Mom says she'll be ready in a couple of minutes. Fine, bud. Oh, I don't think you've met my boy. Mr. Mrs. Van Norton, this is Holy Cow Junior. How are you, son? I'm pleased to meet you. And this is Roger. I know all about, bud. You hit 383 for Springfield High last year, didn't you? How'd you know that? Oh, I just happened to know it. He just happens to know everything that has anything to do with baseball. He does? Roger's quite a baseball player himself, you know. He is? Turned on a contract with the Dodgers last spring. He did? Not the Dodgers' debt. It was just a farm club. Holy cow. There you see. What did I tell you? Jim, we ought to form a club. The fathers who suffer from Holy Cow's incorporated. Holy cow. She would. Why didn't you tell me, Betty? I didn't know. Betty, while the men are talking, why don't we go inside and see if we can do anything for your mother? Oh, no. I mean, mother doesn't want us to. She doesn't want us to. Really, she doesn't. It's quite all right, Betty. Oh, are we all set, honey? Yes, dear. Everything's all ready. How do you do, Mrs. Van Norton? How do you do, Mrs. Van Norton? Mrs. Van Norton? Mrs. Amazon? And of course, this is Roger. Hello, Mrs. Anderson. Betty's told us all about you. She has? Well, it's awfully crowded in here, isn't it? Why don't we go into the living room? The living room? But you said... It's all right, Jim. And I'm sure we'll all be more comfortable. Well, it's all right with me. You have a lovely home, Mrs. Anderson, but we've seen of it. Well, thank you, Mrs. Van Norton. It's nothing pretentious, of course, but we love it. I like anything as long as I don't have to put those shoes back on. I hope you don't mind the smell of fresh paint, Mrs. Van Norton. You see, we've been doing a little redecorating. The living room isn't quite finished, but I'm sure you'll understand. Of course, dear. We've just been going through the same thing our... sales. Uh, nice-looking room, isn't it, Deli? Gosh. Oh, mother. Look, uh, Jake, as long as we're going to be friends, I might as well tell you... Mrs. Anderson, I'm going to ask you a very personal question, and I hope you won't be offended. Why, not at all. Have you ever heard of a decorator named Worthington? Well, yes. Matter of fact, he was here just a few nights ago. That's what I thought. But we felt that... Mrs. Anderson. Deli, it isn't important. It most certainly is. I paid Mr. Worthington $1,000 to decorate my living room. Well, that's very nice. And he did mine exactly like he did yours. Oh, no! This weekend, chances are you'll buy coffee for your family, and you'll look for one thing, flavor, the most in flavor for your money. So take home the one coffee famous for flavor above all others. Take home a pound of Maxwell House coffee. Then put it up to the world's greatest coffee expert. Yes, pour a cup of Maxwell House for your husband. He's the number one expert on coffee. When he smiles and says, best coffee ever, you'll know Maxwell House has the flavor. And you can count for yourself all the truly good cups of coffee you get from every pound. At your grocers, look for coffee that gives you your money's worth and more. Look for the friendly blue tin with the big white cup and drop. That's your sign of good coffee. Maxwell House coffee. Always good to the last drop. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young. Tonight, I've been asked to tell you something about the American economic system. And that's rather difficult because what can I tell you about a subject like that? You are the American economic system. You're the flesh and blood and bone of a country that works better, plays better, and lives better than any other country in the world today. Farmer, merchant, butcher, baker, we ask only that you appreciate your magnificent past and recognize the infinite possibilities of your future. Write to box 10, Times Square Station, New York City, for the free booklet, The Miracle of America. Learn how a great country can be made even greater by your cooperation. Thank you, and good night. At breakfast time, you don't have to say... You children eat your cereal right this instant. Just say... Hop along Cassidy is crazy about hot wheat meal. Just a little psychology. Yes, to get your children to eat a hot cereal, just tell them post-wheat meal is Hop along Cassidy's favorite hot cereal, and they'll eat it too. Post-wheat meal is chuck full of solid whole wheat nourishment, has a wonderful nut-like flavor, and it cooks in just three and a half minutes. You'll see, you'll all agree, it's the best hot cereal you ever ate. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy in the Maxwell House Orchestra, and yours truly Bill Forman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed James. Now stay tuned in for Dragnet, which follows immediately over most of these stations. Yes, exciting and authentic Dragnet is next on NBC.