 Hello everybody, welcome to part nine of the Magdalen manuscript, our reading of the Magdalen manuscript. If this is your first time on this channel, first of all, welcome. I thank you so much for being here. Second of all, you might want to go back and start with part one. I will be putting the playlist understanding the Magdalen down in the description box below where you can find all the previous parts to this book. You can also find a Megan Waterston's book on Magdalen's Gospel, as well as the Sophia Code, which we just finished up, which was perhaps one of my favorite books that we've gone through so far. As I've said before, this Magdalen manuscript, the back part of the book that we're in now has been my favorite part. The first part is a channeling from Magdalen and there was a lot of confirmation in that channeling for me, like for example, in my research and in my speaking with Magdalen myself, I know that Magdalen nor Yeshua were actually Jewish. They were born into the priest and priesthood of Isis, which is a whole other topic for another day as to why the controllers in our world made them Jewish. Again, that's a whole other topic for another day. Some other stuff in the channeling I do not resonate with, with the fact that Yeshua being crucified. We now know that crucifixion is not something that's done in a positive polarity. It's not something that the true God ever asked for. That's something that Luciferians asked for. But again, that's a whole other topic for another day. But there is such thing as confirmation bias. And since most of us were programmed to believe that the Christ was crucified, I can understand how in a channeling session someone would have confirmation bias on that. So I just wanted to make that very, very, very clear. But with that being said, I am enjoying the back part of the book a whole lot more where the writer has gotten into all the different forms of Egyptian alchemy and tantric alchemy that can help you as the reader start to understand what Magdalene and Yashua were actually doing. And this idea of Christ consciousness and Kundalini rising, which is the true rising of the Christ, is teaching you that you have the ability to do this yourself. So with that being said, let's go ahead and start on part nine. Apologies, you might see me filling with my hair a lot. A little secret about me. I am not copper at all. I have no, like, no copper trades except for my hair. I am very thick hair and I need to get it cut and need to get it thinned out. And I didn't really dry it properly this morning. So it's probably going to be bothering me. So if you see it going a little while, I have very thick hair for a blonde person. I have very thick hair. So that's what's happening. So anyway, all right. So we're starting with one woman's story. So this starts on page 189 of my book might be different, depending on your book, but it's 189 on my book. In this story of one woman is the story of every woman. May you find the pathway into the spirit by which it was written, Mary Magdalene. Tom's introduction to one woman's story. Some might wonder why we include something so personal in the last section of this book. After all, we all have our stories and none of us in any way are more important than anybody else. Agreed. Indeed, this is what we pose to Magdalene over and over again after she asked Judy to write her story. And even after the book had been completed and was ready for the press, we asked Magdalene one last time, thinking that perhaps she had changed her mind. She had not. She was in fact quite emphatic that elements in Judy's personal story would speak to many women, that many of her experiences were shared by women universally. And this was Magdalene reminded us about the return of the feminine to a place of honor and power. But first, the patterns of abuse, betrayal, lack of honor, and disempowerment need to be owned and accepted. Now, after sitting with the material for these many months, I think I understand what Magdalene is talking about. It has to do with the principles of Sophia and the logos. For those familiar with these terms, please forgive my taking the space here to discuss them, but I find many people do not understand them. This lack of general understanding about the logos and Sophia is, I think, a result of the church father's attempt to erase the feminine from the theology of Christendom and act that stretches back in time to the first century AD. Many are probably familiar with the term logos as it's said to the core of the church's 2000 year old theology. The logos is the intelligence, the logics of the cosmos itself. It is the fundamental creative force of God. Traditionally, theologians and philosophers have considered the logos to be a masculine principle. This concept actually goes back thousands of years before Christ into the ancient pagan world. At a mythological level, gods were viewed as solar, while goddesses were seen as being more related to the moon, lunar. In this context, spirit was conceived as being in the solar realms of consciousness, male, and the earth matter resided within the lunar realms of consciousness, female. Thus the sky, heaven became associated with the masculine, while the earth became associated with the feminine, mother earth. And this is true. I've said this in our yoga studies a lot in upward rising energy as prana, the upward rising energy that's solar, downward energy as uphana, that's lunar. And men are often, the masculine energy is often associated with solar and the women are aponic, they're moon. You can see that in the body types of a male versus a woman. A man is more linear, his strength lies in his upper body, it's a rising energy, where women are more super cool, they're curvy, and their strength lies in their legs, in the lower part of their body. What is more aponic than giving birth? It's a pushing down of energy that women can do that and men can't. But with that being said, a female will carry both masculine and feminine, and a male will carry both masculine and feminine as well. Now, the other side of this, the controllers have tried to invert this in very strange ways as we see with what's going on in the world today, especially with the alphabet people. But that is true that like for example, the right side of a body for anybody is the masculine, the left side is the feminine. That's why women get their noses pierced on the left side because they are holding space for the feminine energy, even though they also carry elements of masculine energy. Myself as an example, because that's the only person I can use as an example, I am very feminine. I am very feminine. I love being a woman. I want to be the woman in a relationship. Absolutely want to be that part of that woman. I love my makeup. I love my girly clothes, my jewelry, my nail polish. But I also have a strong masculine side too. I can take care of myself. I'm very independent. I'm very strong. I'm very brave when it comes to a lot of things. And so that comes with balancing out those two cycles of energy. Doesn't mean I'm not wounded. Of course, I have man trauma and talked about that. I have a lot of trauma to work through as well. We all do. That's part of being human being. You're never going to be free of the work you have to do as a human being. So understand what he's saying here. Now, of course, because of our look into tartaria and the true history, some of this stuff might not necessarily be true at this point as far as like the narrative that we've been told. However, I don't hold it against the man who wrote this book. I think this book was released in the early 2000s. And at that point, I don't think any of us had any idea about this time in history called tartaria. So I just want you guys to keep that in mind as well. But let's keep going. The pagan consciousness understood that all creation was the result of an interplay between the cosmological forces of the masculine and the feminine spirit and matter, sky and earth. Neither force was more important than the other. Without both of them, creation was not possible. The key to fruitful creation, whether it be cosmic or individual, was seen as a balance between these forces. In the earliest period of Christianity before the politician's aspirations of the church, this was commonly understood and accepted. This understanding of the place of the feminine shows up nowhere more clearly than the concept of Sophia. Sophia was viewed as the feminine aspect of the Godhead, which we saw in the Sophia Code. She was the holy bride to the Logos, and they were viewed as inseparable. When the Logos generated an impulse, the thought to create, it was Sophia that implemented it. Without her, creation would have been impossible. There were two sides of the same coin. One remained aloof in the realms of spirit, forming the ideas of creation, but it was Sophia who received the seed, the thought of creation from the Logos. And it was she who gave it to birth into actuality in the realms of matter. And before anybody who's super religious gets your panties in a wad, Sophia is spoken about in the Apocryphon books, which are the missing books of the Bible. History will tell us that it was King James when he wrote the King James Bible that took the Apocryphon books out. Again, who knows at this point what the true story is, but this was a concept that was understood in early Christendom. Before it got infiltrated and the Christian faith was turned into a Satanic one, the concept of Sophia was very much understood by the original followers of the teachings of Christ. Sophia was known as the cosmic mother, and as such, she shared the same place of honor as Isis in Egypt and other goddesses in ancient cultures. According to the Sophanic understanding, she incarnated as Mary, the mother of Yeshua. And through this embodiment, the word Logos became flesh, Yeshua. God, man had been actualized, but it could not have happened without the sacred act of Sophia incarnating as a woman. Only then could God Logos incarnate as a man in the womb of Sophia, Mary. Now this I absolutely disagree with, because this goes against the teachings of the real Christ. The real teachings of Yeshua in Magdalen was that they were not God. They were not gods. They were human beings, just like everybody else. And that is, that was an argument at the Council of Nicaea where most of the Christians did not want Constantine turning Yeshua, who later became Jesus, which wasn't his name, which is actually Mithra, into a God. That idea of a demigod was actually something that was quite satanic, because it put us into this idea of the matrix where something greater than yourself had to save you, which that is not the point of coming to earth school. The point of coming to earth school is working through your karma and learning how to save yourself. That's the gift that God gives us. That's the privilege God gives us. And this was understood by the early Christians. This is in a lot of the missing books of the Bible, that Yeshua was just a teacher, as was Magdalen. Yes, they had reached a form of enlightenment. And yes, they were both the Christ in the sense that Magdalen was a divine feminine. Yeshua was the divine masculine. They were twins. They were twin flames. And they were teachers. They were enlightenment, but they weren't there to do it for you. They were there to lead you to water, and you had to be the one to take that sip. And so this is something I don't agree with, that Yeshua was different than any other human being. No, he was just more of an ascended master, which one day we will all get to that place. This understanding was common among some of the early Christian theologians. No, no, not the Jesus being a deity. Not that idea, Sophia, yes, but not the deity. And although many of their writings were destroyed during the dark ages, a few of them have survived. But something ominous occurred over the first few centuries AD in regards to the feminine teachings regarding Sophia. We see a concerted effort to remove all traces of her from Christian religion, writings and thought. Yep. Metaphorically, we could say that the church subdued the moon with all of her dark mysteries. The goddess became veiled and hidden. Not only this, but it became a heresy to talk about her. One could lose one's life simply by uttering her names. The sun was at its zenith. God, the logos was all there. Then came the mysterious Holy Trinity, the father, the son and the Holy Ghost. There was no mention of Sophia or Mary. There was nothing feminine in the Trinity. And the feminine was regulated to a place of unimportance. And I'm going to stop here too, because if you read the Sophia code, you see Mary say that she's not Sophia. She was not the incarnate of Sophia. Yes, she was the incarnate of Isis, but not of Sophia. And I do have, from my understanding from my research, Magdalene's mother was the incarnate of Hathor. So that is Magdalene's connection to Hathor. Now, I, most of you know that I have a very strong relationship with Magdalene. She has been one of my guides, probably my whole life. But I heard her, I clear audience, hear her speaking to me. I've heard her since I was 16. She has guided me throughout my life. And from what I understand from what she's told me, Mary was never her name. Neither was Mother Mary's named Mary. And some people will say, oh, Mary was a name to symbolize a high priestess. No, that's not what I've been told. Mary back then was kind of like a chain doe. It was, it was, it was removing the identity of these women from these women and giving them a basic name. So you had Mother Mary, you had Mary Magdalene, you had Mary Bethany, they were all Mary or Maryam, basically kind of pushing them down as, as being beneath the, the males, if you understand what I'm saying. And so Magdalene's been very clear with me that her name was actually Magdalene. And she prefers to be called Maggie, because apparently that's what her dad called her. I always refer to as Magdalene on the channel, just so people know who I'm talking about. But in my personal life, I do call her Maggie. Now there's something about the name Magdalene. And I have asked Magdalene many times to, to elaborate on why that name Magdalene is so important. And she holds back a lot, but from what I understand that name Magdalene, it is a name that it's about the chalice. It's about the womb. And that name Magdalene from what she tells me came through her mother's line. And it was a high priestess named to be named Magdalene. And so when we're talking about the Sophia, we're talking about the chalice, we're talking about the Magdalene. That's why this playlist is called understanding a Magdalene. It's not just about the person that we know as Mary Magdalene, but it's about the Magdalene within all women, that chalice, that womb, that moon energy, right? That moon, that, that, that emotional, the moon affects the water, the water, if you know, tarot cards, the, the cups are emotions. It's that emotional bond, that intuitive arts that the divine feminine carries. And yes, you see this in men as well. Many men are very emotional. I mean, I'm talking about not necessarily, you know, I think it's, we've been trained to think that that's what gay men are like. And yes, well gay men are men too, that carry both energies, but even straight men. You know, I know it's, it's common for little boys to, to want to go through a phase where they want to play with a doll. It doesn't mean anything. It just means they're exploring their paternal instincts, because men carry a paternal instinct as well that goes into that intuitive arts. Yes, women notoriously are a little bit more intuitive because they carry the baby within them. My mother used to tell us all the time she gets smell in the air when one of us were about to get sick. I think women have that, but men do as well. Men have a paternal instinct as well. They have an intuitive arts as well that's connected to their own divine feminine. And our world, the controllers have done a really good job to try to strip men of that. It's okay for a man to cry. It's okay. I find that actually really sexy. If a man, you know, if you're having a serious conversation with a man and he starts to joke up, I find that really sexy. So, you know, I want him to be alpha, like protect me too, but if he also shows that he has feelings, that's, that's pretty hot. You know, so, so when we talk about the stripping of the feminine, we're talking about the stripping of the Magdalene, which yes, does on the macro level does affect the feminine girls, women, but on the micro it also affects the feminine quality of everyone that energy cuts within every human being. All right, but worse, she was scorned and the official version of Genesis adopted by the increasingly patriarchal church, the source of mankind's downfall was weighed squarely on the shoulders of Eve. She had after all taken the apple from the serpent of Satan. And with this one fatal act, she a woman cursed all succeeding generations. You know, Genesis means the Genesis of Isis. But wait a moment, there are other versions of the creation myth. The censored version we have inherited is only one of them. According to one Gnostic account, the serpent was a good guy. Yep, that's in the Apocryphon of John as well. He was actually trying to help Adam and Eve get out from under the tyrannical rule of a jealous God, Jehovah, which we know from some of the missing books of the Bible and the missing grimoires of the Bible Jehovah is the name of a high ranking demon, not God, not source creator. And in this version, the snakes simply open the path to the godlike powers of consciousness that were part of Adam and Eve's rightful inheritance. The Gnostics for those unfamiliar with them were a long line of luminaries who traditions in various forms stretched back into ancient Egypt, if not before. They believed in the power of direct revelation without the need for an intermediate area, a priest. Same, that's why I call myself more of a mystic Gnostic than anything, because you don't need anybody to tell you. You don't need anybody to tell you about God or what's right for you. That's your gut instinct. That's that you are the antenna to God, no one else. Of course, this did not fit with the political and monetary desires of the church. And so the Gnostics were branded as heretics and similarly imprisoned or killed on a regular basis. Yes, and it wasn't necessarily about the monetary power of the church. It was about the power of the controllers, the Lucie, the Luciferians. In the view of the Gnostics, Eve was a heroine who, through her act of accepting the apple, raised humanity closer to ownership of Godlike powers. And the myth propagated by the church, however, she was weak and cursed for having tricked her maid into accepting something from Satan. Myth has power. It gets laid into the fabric of a culture and colors its attitude and beliefs. And as a result of the officially sanctioned creation story, women have suffered considerably as the dark, dangerous creatures of the moon who, by their nature's consort with evil, just read the medieval hogwash of scholars and theologians justifying their witch hunts and other abominations against women. This inciderate madness even extended into the fleeting colonies of the United States during the Salem witch trials of the 1600s, which we're going to get to, guys. And I do not believe that the witch trials were what they told us they were. I actually think we'll get into our deep dive. There are things I can't say because this video is going up on YouTube and the witch trials, the deep dive into witch trials part two where we get into what I believe the truth is we'll have to go on rumble because we're going to get into some other stuff pertaining to why the witch trials actually happened. And yes, the moon, so I've, you know, in traditional yoga for women, we are taught that it is best not to practice on the first or second day of our cycle. This is nothing to do with the red tent has nothing to do with being dirty. It's the fact that when you are on your cycle, when you're on your period, you're detoxing. And that's an aponic action. Your uterus is detoxing. And so we don't want to practice because the practice is very chronic. And so it confuses the energy flow of the body, especially if you're a woman who has not had children yet and you perhaps want to have children, you want to make sure you're honoring that detox because every month the uterus is going to rebuild the lining for potential impregnation. And we want to make sure the uterus is healthy for many women. And I've just now really getting into this, the womb is part of your powers as part of your intuition. It's part of what makes you strong as a woman. Even if you've gone through menopause, you still have that organ and anybody who has studied any type of Eastern philosophy knows your organs aren't just organs. They represent something else. Like, for example, the liver is anger, the kidneys are fear. There's something else associated with these organs besides what they do in the outward way, right? In an outward way, the womb is strictly just very productive purposes. That's all it is, is to house a baby and give birth to a baby. But in the energetic and spiritual world, the womb is far more powerful than just that, than just housing life. There's something very sacred about the woman's womb. And so that's another reason why on our periods, we don't practice is to honor that. Now, for me, most women will line up, their period will line up with a particular moon, either new moon or full moon. I'm a full mooner. I always get my cycle with the full moon. And if you go back and read about this back, you know, many years ago, they would have burned me at the stake for bleeding on the full moon. And there's quite a, it kind of goes with the queen energy. There's three different energies. So the feminine, there's daughter queen mother and our daughter mother queen. I'm queen energy. That's been told by many, many healers. And what that means, that aligns up with me bleeding on the full moon. So what that means, it doesn't mean that I wouldn't make a great mom. I would love to be a mother. I love being an aunt. I love kids. I would love to have that experience of carrying a child with a man that I love, you know, that we created together. I would love that opportunity. But as a mother, I would probably not be a helicopter mom. I would probably be very much like live and learn, like if you fuck up, you learned, you know, that would be my that's that queen energy. That's also full moon energy. Women who bleed on the new moon are typically mother, daughter energy where they are very overly nurturing and helicopter moms want to do everything for their babies. And, you know, full moon women tend to also be shamanistic. So they tend to, you know, work with herbs a lot. And it makes sense because of my path in my life. I've gone off to India. I've done all this I'm a light worker. I, you know, it makes a lot of sense. And so that's kind of their, they're kind of when they have children, they kind of have that divide of part of them is doing this shamanic work, light work, while the other part of them is raising your children. And so it's, it's, I hope that makes sense. And so the moon does tell you a lot about your cycle as a woman, neither is wrong, neither is right. But I know even back in India, there was a time when if I was a, I am a woman who bleeds on the full moon that my Ayurvedic practitioner would have tried to get me to move my period over to the new moon would have given me certain herbs to subdue me more. And that's not, that's just how the culture, you know, was at some, at some point, no, Ayurvedic practitioner has done that to me. They've all just been like, Okay, cool, you're full mooner, because we understand now. But full mood women tend to be strong women tend to be more independent women. And so they wanted women to be a little bit more subdued. So I just, that's just super interesting, especially when he's bringing up the moon and the women and, you know, just, just more information, more, you know, right, knowledge is power and knowledge protects. So, all right. But I think the damage was overly so polarized mythos of Christianity extends far beyond the labeling of women as evil. All of our society suffers men as well. And here's why. By cutting ourselves off from the feminine aspect of creation matter itself, there is a deep spiritual dis-ease discomfort that has been infecting Western culture for two millennium agreed. Not for two millennium though, for Gog and Magog. We long for the realms of spirit heaven, but reject our experiences in the world. We have set heaven and earth at odds. Earth is after all tainted. We are only here because we have fallen from grace. If we are truly born in sin, just through the act of being born, then all that follows our birth is a lie. The truth lies above us, not here among us. The expression of the spirit in the form of the earth experiences is denied by our current cultural mythos. Thus we can rape and pillage the earth with seemingly little regard. At a mythological level, the earth is feminine and women are, after all, just to be used. But the danger in this fallacy is that by pillaging our earthly mother Gaia, we are destroying the very ecological roots that support us. And the biological sciences are full of dire warnings concerning the exhaustion of our ecosystem, which I don't actually agree with that. I think most of you watching don't either. Does it dawn on us that the disappearance of animal and plant species at its current alarming rate is a threat to our very survival? No. We are above it all. That I do think that humans do. We do think we're like some for some reason above the earth, like for some reason, even though the earth itself is a spirit, right? Like if we look at the Shiva Shakti, like we talk about a light, like your soul is the Shiva. It's the pure consciousness and your body is an expression is the Shakti of that consciousness. So the earth is the same thing. It's a spirit. It's a soul. And its creation as a planet is an expression of that soul. So the earth itself is a living, breathing thing. And we too, for some reason, think we're above it when we're not. We consider ourselves to be the apex of nature with an inherited God given right to dominate and subdue it according to our will. The idea that other forms of life might have wills of their own just as significant as ours does not occur to us. It does to me. It does occur to me. And the concept of equal coexistence between us and other life forms is barely a part of mass consciousness. This is essentially because we do not see life forms as expressions of spirit. At an unconscious level, we separate them. There is life and there is spirit. Heaven and earth do not meet. At a mythological level, many view the earth as a kind of in between place, a test to see if they deserve an eternal after in heaven or a hellish eternity in the bowels of where else the earth, the coin and it quatsa. I'm saying that right. A Hopi term for being out of balance with the world may very well destroy our civilization. We must come back to a place of balance if we are to survive mythologically. The moon must be unveiled within our own psyches. The feminine principle must be put back in her rightful place as a co creator, not as a dominating force nor as a subjected force, but as an equal force. I agree with this wholeheartedly. And like I said, like if we break it down, I think sometimes it's easier to break it down into like your own relationships because that's how we kind of experience the world is through our own experiences. As I said, I am very feminine. I want to be the female in the relationship, but I'm also very independent. And so in order to have an equal great relationship with a man, I need a man that's going to treat me as the feminine. He's going to be the alpha. He's going to be the protector. He's going to be the provider, but also honor my independence as well and view me as a partner, not as property, if that makes sense. All right. All of this brings me back to the personal story of one woman you're about to read. Why would this be so pertinent? Well, I believe for one thing that it goes back to the dissertation of spiritual values we have inherited. If our life as an embodied soul is tainted by the mere act of being in a body, then there is a psychological discomfort with our experiences. They are after all of the earth, not of the spirit. And yet in the balance of spirit and earth, both are valued. The shimmering vision of the spirit world and the earthquake experiences of life and body are both seen as inherently sacred. Hanging the laundry can be just as enlightening as reading scripture. Absolutely. It is all in the attitude. Someone asked me what the return of the cosmic mother meant. I suspect it means many things, some of which we won't recognize until we are all well into it. But I imagine it will bring at least one cultural shift. We will come to recognize our earthly life and all of its experiences as an expression of spirit and matter, not as a battle between these two, but a sacred marriage. Exactly. Shakti. This the body nature isn't the soul, but it's the expression of the soul. The Yoga Sutras talk about this as well, that they are bound together. Prakriti, Parusha, Shiva, Shakti, spirit, matter. This sacred marriage between spirit and matter is sometimes called the opus magnum or the great work. It is the alpha and omega in which spirit logos to sins into matter through the grace of Sophia and returns back to itself transformed. Our lives are forged in alchemical furnace of experience. For those of us who willingly choose to enter the great work of self illumination, our life experiences can become great teachers unto ourselves. You are about to read the story of one woman. She shares something in common with all women undertaking the great work of self illumination in this hour time. Restoring the feminine to a place of honor in our culture begins with women honoring both themselves and their stories. The pain and lies of the last 2000 years are brought closer to their end each time a woman takes her own power. The return of Sophia draws closer each time a man honors the woman in his life as well as the feminine within himself. Those of us striving to live this realization are part of the cosmic mother's return. We are the moon becoming unveiled in the balance to the sun and we are the restoration of the feminine in balance to the male may heaven and earth be joined in this hour time. So we're going to go ahead and read on to Judy's preface to one woman's story. The first night that Mary Magdalene came through her power and strength were palpable as her words were audible and it continued that way throughout the whole process. There was never a stumble over a word. Her words carefully chosen before she spoke. She spoke with authority and with definition. She was here to do a job to set the story straight and to go back home what she said was a place we call heaven but she called it a place in the soul where she rests forever with her beloved Yeshua. Hers was the most powerful presence I have ever experienced same and from her first words I was deeply moved and my consciousness profoundly altered. I typed what she brought through sitting in bed with a computer propped on my pillow and my hands trembling both with excitement and with the fear that I might not get it all correctly and she was leaving that first night after she had completed the information she turned to me so to speak. I felt the definite shift to the personal almost intimately to me and she said I agree to give my story because of you because you sense the importance of the relationship the sacred marriage and that turned on requested also that I give you my story and a subsequent transmission with the manuscript itself she stated that Isis had specifically asked that she tell her story in this in the beginning of the end of time. I'm getting emotional because as I just said Magdalene has been around me since I know for sure since I was 16 and she has never changed her personality has never changed she's always been that queen energy too that she's got something to say she's going to say it but she's also very personal and I don't think I would have survived my life without her being around me so and I know that I have a story to tell as well and I know that I one day will tell my story my full story in hopes that all the women watching now will one day tell their full story too later we asked Magdalene if the best way to bring this information forward considering the format of the book her manuscript is compact there are no extra words she doesn't go on and on no she doesn't she clearly wants to give only the necessary coded information to awaken the memory of those few who are ready to end will of those few who are ready will hear it all but everything you need to know all the secrets are here in her few pages Tom felt it was important to add an overview and to fill in some blanks which he is well qualified to do he is the one of the most astute beings on the face of the earth at this time regarding the entire subject of internal alchemy as streamed through many different sources as this has been his lifetimes work and me why am I here why am I privileged to be taking space to write words to you of what I am a lifetime student relationship and sacred relationship and the inherent power and mystery of the feminine are what this book is about and so when we asked about the format over and over we were told that I must write my story I argued the point and avoided the opportunity until the book was ready to go to press and only my story was holding up the publication of the manuscript the pressure mounted I started over and over I wrote and rewrote I added sections and fleshed out parts and I still felt an adequate to the task of adding anything of value to this magnificent document this truth that Magdalen gave I recapitalized my life for deserts and mountains through blizzards and sunsets that would set your heart on fire I initially began the process under her instructions back on a little Odish in Malta I struggled with it in southern France and on Pyros island in Greece I deleted and added it to it like you might add ingredients in soup too much salt add too little sugar too much drama and violence add the humor life always provides yet I wasn't going to include it I still struggle struggled over its relevance and your criticism one day Tom said to me shouldn't you be working on the Magdalen manuscript I said oh I just don't get it I'm not able to include my life story what will people think I'm trying to do he handed me a card that just that had just arrived and it said please write your story and include it in the Magdalen script when you write your story you will be writing my story you aren't writing it for yourself you're writing it for all of us and so with my flaws and fears on my shoulder I honored what the goddess requested the first section contains my story the diary entries at the end share some of what I went through experiencing the process of receiving her information and the obstacles to flight we experience living with this material for it brought up as it well should have all of my unfinished relationship issues in my case these were essential essentially jealousy fear of abandonment fear of betrayal and general and pervasive unworthiness same and to place that information in true context demands that I also tell you my story as Metronon my beloved advisor has told me to do now for years and so I write this for Magdalen for the Hathors for Isis for Metronon for all my daughters and for Tom who plays guitars and writes songs because he dared to cross the dark moist and dangerous abyss to the portal of the feminine to risk asking me to dance in the sacred relationship in the chalice of the holy grail