 My name is Chris and I'm a major screw-up and if you're a screw-up, too You're gonna absolutely love this video because there's actually some really really good news. So make sure that you stay tuned What is up everybody, this is Chris from the rewired soul where we talk about the problem But focus on the solution and if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about helping you Yeah, you improve your mental and emotional well-being So if you're into that kind of stuff make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and I am so so So excited to start this little mini series with you what I'm holding right here Okay, this is pure gold. Okay, I'm gonna do a real brief overview This is the book on your adulting by dr. Faith G Harper Okay, some of you have seen my other book review Which I will link up in the info card and down in the description of her other book on your brain and This is such an amazing book. I got an early copy because I supported it over on Kickstarter and Basically, it says unfuck your adulting give yourself permission Carry your own baggage. Don't be a dick make decisions and other life skills I would honestly say as somebody who read most of 12 rules for life by Jordan Peterson This is way better Dr. Faith Harper is hilarious. She knows her stuff. She's real and like, I don't know I don't know if you enjoy my channel. You will love this book I will provide links down in the description so you can get this book on pre-order. It's coming out very soon But with this little mini series what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna read Little chapters from here. It's very good chapters are very short like this one. I'm about to read It's only two pages. All right, and I already talked to dr. Heart Harper I was like, yeah, would you be cool if I like broke down some of these chapters in your book? And she's like, yeah, absolutely So I'm gonna share with you and if you like it like please go support her and this book She works with an independent publisher microcosm Publishing and she does a ton a ton of books She also has books about depression and anxiety and everything like that. Anyways, make sure you go support her But let's get started. So this is from the chapter either win or learn, okay? You know what learning is failing epically and often but differently each time Failure is as much a part of our learning process as success is it feels Ungreat in the moment because it means our best efforts didn't get us the results we wanted We don't learn nearly as much from winning really when doing recovery work The first question I would ask after a relapse was okay. So what did you learn? I can relate to that If we fall off and we all fall off of course Then the task is to figure out how that happened so we can approach it differently next time I did it a football coach a while back a football coach in Texas mind you he had kids that went pro So Friday night lights all the way. He started out hating this expression. It's a dr. Faith ism Because his motto was either you win or you win no losing no learning just winning then pizza But then something shifted in him because we don't always win duh We can't we can total up or we can learn from the experience and not do that shit again And if losing pisses us off we missed out on a huge learning opportunity We learn far more from failure than success a pain in the ass, but a seriously truthy truth Football coach dude found this expression coming out of his mouth one Friday night The team took a loss and he saw the losses a mechanism to learn some new skills on the field rather than as a Taylor Swift shake it off moment His fellow coaches said he was creeping them out and needed to break up with the therapist check But out on the field the next morning they went and they learned and beat the shit out of the other team the next The next time they played each other So you got your shit stomped into a mud hole. What did you learn that you're going to carry forward in life? What did you learn about certain situations or certain people? What did you learn about yourself and your badass capacity for survival? Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, like I Somebody who is a recovering addict and alcohol like this is so true Like I always say my secret from my secret to recovery is I looked at everything I did or refused to do and then I did the opposite like and then all of a sudden I started I stopped relapsing like it was that simple So like I love this so much like we we get into this or nothing mentality Right, we either win or lose we win or lose we win or lose But like every single loss is a learning experience no matter what it is whether it's the loss of a job Whether it's the loss of a relationship like we all screw up. I am a screw up I have screwed up royally, but the thing is is that I look at every experience and ask myself What did I learn from this? What did I learn? Right, how can I grow as a person like sometimes the thing that you'll learn is like Dr. Faith Harbor said like you're a badass You can get through some stuff. You're a survivor. You know what I mean But like this is why I make so many videos and like talk about other youtubers and things in pop culture Like everything can be a learning experience like not only do you need to learn from your own losses You need to learn from other people's losses like again back to my recovery I watch people relapse left and right relapse rates are Insane and as soon as somebody would come back into a 12-step meeting talking about a relapse my ears would perk up I'm like what'd you do and I would learn from it? I would learn from those people working in a treatment center I met people who had more clean time than me and relapse. I would listen to them I say what did you do what happened? You see what I mean like we beat ourselves up so so so much But don't look at it as a loss look at it as a learning experience like Maybe you messed up a project at work like that's cool. Apologize for it and ask yourself What did I learn from this situation? Maybe you know, you didn't do so great on a test at school Like what did you learn? Do you need to study more? Do you not know need to get tutoring? I don't know what it is But like there's so many things and like relationships are a huge one like the only reason that I'm in an amazing Relationship now with my wonderful girlfriend is because I learned from a thousand terrible relationships You know what I mean? Like in this book in this book There's just so many little tips that will just get you going and little practices that you can start implementing in your day And I swear they will change your life Like a lot of this stuff in the book are things that I've been doing and it's great to get like the reassurance like from An awesome woman like dr. Faith Harper like that she agrees with some of the methods I've been losing using but like this book is so easily Read and like digestible and it's funny and it's fun And like it's just so down to earth like you don't feel like you're talking or listening to like a doctor You know what I mean? It seems like you're just talking to you know a friend like who knows a ton about mental health You know like there's so much in here and I'm gonna break down different chapters and everything But again, there's gonna be links down in the description below, but I want to do this in the comments. Okay, let's do this Actually, I just got an idea. I'm gonna make five of these videos So let's do this. I'm gonna make five videos and in the comments section I want to hear from you and I am gonna give away five copies of this book. Okay, how about that? So in the comments down below, let me know about one of your losses and what you learned from that experience Okay, ooh, I'm excited. This is my first giveaway. Is this my first giveaway and I'm glad I'm glad that I could support Dr. Harper and her book and everything like that. So let's do that I'm gonna try to make at least five of these videos going over these chapters in this book Okay, so make sure you comment down below. Let me know what loss you turned into a learning experience. All right deal deal Okay, cool If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up if you're new make sure you subscribe Ring that notification bell and a huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon look at that We have a new patron isn't that amazing helping me support what I do and love Oh, I love it so much if you want to support the channel on patreon. There's a little link right there All right. Thanks so much for watching get this freaking book and I'll see you next time