 What does the narcissist value more than anything? What's most important to the narcissist? What do they value the most? There is something the narcissist values more than money There is something more important to them What the narcissist values more than anything else is your attention? That is what they want from you, which means that you have what they want You have the power You have the ability to direct and influence their behavior at the course of events And that is why you need to stop giving it away for free Stop giving them all of your attention Narcissists are focused on their image for a reason Male narcissist might splash out on a new car While female narcissists will spend hours getting dressed up and doing their hair and makeup They will put so much time and energy into this and they are willing to trade all of their money for it Just to get attention Because attention is more valuable to them than their money Which is why they are willing to give all of their money in return for the image that they would like to present Female narcissist will spend hours getting dressed Just to go to the store While a male narcissist might buy an expensive car Just to drive around town They're not doing it for themselves They're doing it to get your attention They want to be noticed They want to be seen as something desirable and attractive Even though they might not be interested in you Even though they may not have any desire to know or learn anything about you All they care about is what you think of them They want you to want them They want you to desire them Because narcissists only care about themselves All that matters to them is how they see themselves How they feel about themselves And if they can get you to validate the illusion that they are trying to portray They think they must be something special Which is why your attention is so important to them Because your attention has the power to influence how they see themselves It has the power to influence how they feel about themselves And that is why they are willing to trade all of their time energy and money to get it They have developed a routine A pattern of actions that they regularly follow Which gets them the attention that they are looking for They are highly manipulative They are seeking to exercise and scrupulous control and influence over you So that they can get what they need So that they can get your attention But they want your attention for free They want it without having to do anything for you Because they are all about themselves They don't even see you as a real person You are just an object to them which they use to feel good about themselves They lack empathy So they don't understand how you feel All they can do is recognize your emotions as it pertains to them What it means or suggests about themselves They are incapable of establishing a deep connection or a relationship with you And because you're willing to give your attention away for free They don't value it They don't appreciate it When you stop giving your attention away to the narcissist for free That is when they will stop taking it for granted That is when they will begin to value it Because you're not doing what everyone else usually does You're not giving away your attention for free You're not giving them free admiration or validation Which is what everyone else gives to the narcissist But instead you are doing something different You are doing something unusual You're not taking them so seriously as other people do And that is what you have to do to get any respect from the narcissist I'm not saying that they will respect you as a person But they will develop some level of respect for your feelings which is all rights Once you bring in some consequences Once you make them realize that without that Your attention will be taken away You cannot give your attention to someone who doesn't deserve it You cannot give your attention to someone who doesn't treat you right Because your attention has value So you should not hand it over to the narcissist Without getting something in exchange You should get something back in return For giving them your attention When you are dealing with a narcissist You should give them your attention when they least expect it You should give them a compliment when they least expect it When you give them your attention when they expect it from you It's predictable So they will be able to estimate when it will happen in the future Or if it will be the consequence of something And that's how they are able to stay 10 steps ahead of you That's when they know when you're going to react Because they already know what's going to get your attention They already know what you're interested in or attracted to So when you are dealing with a narcissist You have to be unpredictable Don't just give your attention away whenever they want it Give it to them when they least expect it Stop constantly admiring these narcissists Stop feeding their egos They're human just like you are They use the toilet just like you do So there's really no need to put these narcissists on a pedestal There's no reason to give them uncritical respect or admiration There's no reason to treat them as an ideal Rather than a real person When you do this They can sense it instantly And then they no longer value your attention It loses its importance, worth and usefulness And then they'll be more focused on seeking attention elsewhere From someone who isn't so willing to give it to them People need to stop worshipping these narcissists People need to stop putting them on a pedestal They use the toilet just like you do But people are quick to like all of their selfies on Instagram Which only feeds their narcissism even more And make them think they're better than everyone When they're not contributing any value to society They're not helping anyone Because they only care about themselves They just use people's attention to feel better about themselves And that is why you need to stop giving away your attention for free Because the power lies in your attention You should value it You should not give it away so easily You may want to give it to them But as soon as you do, they will lose respect for you They will lose regard for your feelings, wishes and rights You will lose value and importance in their eyes Because you gave your attention away for free You gave it away without an equal exchange of value So then they see it as though you have no value And they will treat you like you have no value Because they see it as though if you don't value where you put your attention You don't value yourself And narcissists don't value themselves They act as though they have an exaggerated sense of their own abilities and importance They act like they think they're superior to you But that's just to compensate for how they really feel about themselves Inside they feel completely worthless and insignificant So when you put all of your attention on them They see it as though you have no value Because they can't see the value in themselves They don't believe they're worth anything They just see you as a fool for even noticing them So that's exactly how they're going to treat you They're going to trick and deceive you And use you for their own benefit or gain But when you withhold your attention That is when they begin to see you as being something valuable Because in their minds Only someone of high value wouldn't pay any attention to them And when you don't pay attention to them They make some pay attention to you They make some take more of an interest in you More of an interest in your feelings which is rights And while it may not be empathy It's the closest thing you're going to get To a narcissist having a genuine interest in you It will arouse their curiosity You become a puzzle that they are trying to solve They end up trying to put the pieces together Rather than trying to pull everything apart Thank you for watching I hope this video resumed with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurvivor.co.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join the support forum If you would like to donate My paypal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coaching at narcsurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon