 Someone told me that I look much better in white Personally, I think that I look like a corpse in the making, but What don't we do for rating and ratings and views? This is the age of social media Okay, Shoshaneem, my name is Sanbakni and I'm the author of Malignan self-love narcissism Revisited and I'm a professor of psychology in Southern Federal University in West Ovan Don Russian Federation I'm also a professor of psychology and a professor of finance in the outreach program of the CS Consortium of universities see ups Center for international advanced professional studies Phew that was long wasn't it? Yes, it was and today we are going to discuss a short topic Introduction was long the topic is short reminds me of some men and We are going to discuss today transference transference in a new light now general statement many many in academe disparage Zygmunt Freud and Jung and Adler and all the psychoanalytic movement and Later psychodynamic theories and even well into object relations in the 1960s in the United Kingdom and elsewhere All these are considered to be hocus pocus in today's academic environment At most literary movements with no scientific merit Why these in why these collective schools of thought have no scientific merit because they don't use statistics and Psychologists today Want very much to be scientists when they grow up a Psychologist's secret wet dream is to be considered a physicist of the mind of course It's total nonsense psychology is not and can never be a science in any meaning of this loaded word Psychology is a descriptive literary movement at best and when it's good. It's really good so today discoveries in neuroscience tend to revive and hold many of Zygmunt Freud's Jung's Adler's Ferencies Anna Freud's and the object relations school Many of their findings are upheld buttress supported and prove Via new discoveries in neuroscience so there's a revival in the margins of Attempts to rediscover these great thinkers these giants of the human mind and spirit Who had been relegated to the backburner because they don't conform to the current view of how a science should look like and I'm doing my little bit to Contribute to this revival very little bit to contribute to this revival by revisiting concepts From psychoanalysis even very old concepts my previous video I had dealt with the issue of Resistances and today I'm going to deal with transference so You could think of transference as a form of flashback Now flashback like everything else had been corrupted online wannabe scholars pseudo intellectuals and just you know playing corn artist They've taken the concept of flashback and he had transformed it in ways Which have no clinical validity and are not supported by any studies or any research One prime example is the hype nonsense of emotional flashback. I will not name names so a Flashback or the clinical term is not flashback the clinical term is reviviveness and Reviviveness tells you everything you need to know a flashback is when a memory of A past event usually a traumatic event a memory takes over your mind Becomes 3d fleshes itself out and Eliminates your access to reality so that the memory Becomes an immediate experience Indistinguishable from reality So that you don't see reality anymore You don't hear reality anymore you don't feel and you don't touch and you have no Contact or interaction with reality anymore But you mistake the memory for reality You believe that the memory is actually real and that's why for example Vietnam veterans Go to a supermarket There's a loud bang and they're back in Vietnam and they're back in Vietnam They really are there Their helicopters flying overhead and all the shoppers in the supermarket their vietcong And so they shoot them Flashbacks are the utter eradication and suspension suspension of reality by an overwhelming Memory not emotion not cognition memory So there's only one type of flashback and that's a flashback. We have in post traumatic stress disorder but transference is What we could call flashback light Why? First we have to understand what is transference transference is when we displace Onto a meaningful figure Emotions and ideas Originally associated with objects in earlier life So a meaningful figure could be a therapist could be an intimate partner So when we come across this meaningful figure We take emotions and ideas that we used to have in connection to another person and We superimposed them we superimposed these emotions and ideas on the new figure the therapist or the new intimate partner When we do this when we paint the new person with old colors Associated originally with objects in earlier life Then this is transference so You just to have a certain pattern of interaction with your mother It created Generated certain emotions and certain cognitions and ideas and you take these emotions and ideas And you superimpose them on your new wife on your girlfriend She is a female and so she's a she becomes a stand-in for your mother Now this is not emotional flashback This is mistaking mistaking Your wife for your mother Mistaking your therapist for your father Really mistaking not pretending to mistake Not making any distinction between the therapist and your father between your girlfriend and your mother Emotionally and cognitively You would be reacting to the therapist or to your girlfriend as if they were your father or mother And that's why I say that transference is a kind of flashback light Don't take me too seriously. It's not a flashback But it has the hues and colors and elements and smells of a flashback a flashback When we transfer when we have transfers We relate to the new person in our lives We relate to the new entrance We relate to a new intimate partner a new therapist a new good friend as if she or he Were there that previous figure in our lives? we can't help but Relate to the therapist as if he were a father figure or Relate to a wife as if she were a mother figure and we bring all the baggage of the past with us All the emotions all the ideas all the cognitions all the patterns of interaction The interactivity the relational interactivity the relatability We bring everything we used to have with our with the mother To the girlfriend with the father to the therapist with a sibling to A good friend a new friend So we relate to the new people in our life Our lives as if they were the previous figures in our lives and we project on to them object object representations Acquired by earlier Introductions, don't you just love these $10 words? I know you do. That's why I keep giving to you Free of charge on the house So We bring into new interactions with new people Object representations acquired by earlier Let me try to explain it to you in human speak When we when we are first exposed to mommy as an infant or a child We create an introject of mommy. We create an inner representation of mommy An internal object that stands in for mommy We represent The object of money mommy is a primary object and we represent her in our mind via the process of inter internalization and introduction internalization and introduction Our way to snapshot mommy to create an image of mommy in our mind and gradually It also acquires an independent voice So there's an interject the introduction speaks to us gradually Incrementally as we grow older We tend to forget that the interject had represented once someone else mommy father a teacher a role model appear We tend to forget this We tend to assimilate the interjects. They become part of us We tend to regard the voices in our hands as our own voices In some cases this leads to a pathology In many cases it leads to better functioning, especially better better social functioning Some of these process one of the processes that leads to Interjection is socialization rendering us most socially adaptable so We interact with mommy as a child We have an image of mommy in our mind through interjection. This image is called object representation Then This image this object inside our minds Speaks to us with mommy's voice But then gradually as we grow older We believe that this object representation is who we are And that the voice is our voice And that's the end all and be all that's it. That's the idea The idea is to internalize via interjection to internalize the voices of society Parents are social socialization agents But when we meet a new person and this person becomes significant and meaningful and intimate And we are invested in this person emotionally. We affect this person We tend to Browse our mind For a similar situation. So if we have a therapist We browse we browse and we say, oh He reminds me of my father. He's like a father figure And so then we pick up the object representation with the interject That used to refer to father And we superimpose them on the therapist From that moment on the therapist becomes effectively a father flashback light And so in this way We imbue new Entrance new people in our lives with Disproportional significance And we interact with them Using ingrained behavioral strategies And relational patterns and behavioral patterns So Transference is not good for you It's not good for you because it tends to perpetuate Patterns of behavior that in most cases are actually dysfunctional and It tends to enhance the significance Of the new people you're interacting with Beyond their true Meaningfulness in your life. They become too important. You develop a kind of addiction or dependence on them Now transference Is more common Among people with relational dysfunctions people with certain attachment styles People co-dependence People with dependent personality disorder borderline They would tend to engage in Disproportional transference exaggerated transference And so they would tend to bond or attach Um in a stockish or you know creepy manner To important figures in their lives because they outsource many ego boundary functions and many internal processes to these new figures Now the thing with with transference that it doesn't end With confusion This transference is a confusion. You confuse the therapist with your with your father You confuse your wife with your mother You confuse your sister your your new best friend with your sister So it's a confusion transference is a state of confusion, but it doesn't end there and that's when the problem begins Because we want the new figures in our lives desperately to fit into the matrix To fit into the previous Ways we had conducted business So if we used to interact with father in a certain way We want the therapist to interact with us exactly this way and no other way and if the therapist deviates From our wishes unconscious wishes. We try to force him We try to force the therapist to act as a father and not only to act as any father We try to force the therapist to act as our father the father So and this is called this is part of projective identification Following transfers We often use projective identification To force the newcomers into our lives To react in ways that uphold this comfort zone Because what we had with mommy what we had with daddy what we had with siblings or maybe important peers influences or role models or teachers or Authority figures what we had with these people in childhood usually up to adolescence what we had with these people Created a comfort zone Because it's familiar. It's predictable. We know the rules. We know the ropes. We know what to expect And so we want newcomers into our lives To conform to this comfort zone to behave in ways which support the comfort zone. Don't challenge it. Don't undermine it And when they don't We become very pissed off. We become coercive We emotionally blackmail we become aggressive numerous strategies to shoehorn the newcomer into the the old box The old relational box So we're trying to convert and transform to shape shift new people in our lives So as to render them compatible With the old figures that we used to have in our lives with old objects primary objects other objects, so And this we do this even if it means that the outcomes are unfavorable serve defeating self destructive bad for you Still we do this because we value comforts the comfort zone above anything and everything else The comfort zone for example could be Being abused You know, you know how to be a victim. That's your comfort zone So you would push the therapist you push your wife you push your girlfriend you push your new friend You push your colleague you push your boss to abuse you You want them to abuse you as your mother had done or your father had done because That's what you know. This that's it That's your zone of familiarity and and you want them to conform and you want them to make you feel comfortable at ease Because you know the other shoe is going to drop And you know the sound is going to make So this is projective identification. And so in a way Transference is a repetition compulsion because you try to force people To behave in the same way That previous people in your life had behaved and tried to force them to repeat compulsively Interactions and relationships you've had in the past Eclinically therefore transference is a resistance It serves to reenact Early childhood experiences With a latent hope of redemptive resolution A hope that never materializes