 Well today we're in chapter 3 verse 7 as we continue our verse by verse study here in the the book of 1st Peter and As mentioned earlier, we spent some time last week looking at verses 1 through 6 And so today we'll look at verse 7 and this is a passage that deals with the Christian husband So in verse 7 the Apostle Peter writes likewise you husbands Dwell with them with understanding Giving honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of Life that your prayers may not be hindered So he's writing to husbands. He's writing to the married men. I heard a woman once say that She said this she said I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage because they've experienced pain and They've bought jewelry and so that's probably there's some truth to that We're going to be looking at husbands today and as we look at husbands Here we have a portion of scripture where the Apostle gives the husband instructions concerning the treatment of his wife Now I would remind you even as we begin to look at this passage that the Apostle Peter is writing to Christians He's writing to Christian husbands because a non-believer isn't necessarily open to this kind of instruction Proverbs 15 verse 12 says a scoffer does not love one who corrects him nor will he go to the wise There are many people who will go to people who have had several failed relationships perhaps more than one failed marriage and For advice, they will go to the ones who have failed rather than to the ones who have Seen God move in their life and seen their marriages Flourish under his hand many times people want to Receive counsel from those whom they believe are experienced But experience isn't always the best teacher and so I have a tendency of wanting to speak to those who have Succeeded because in their success they have also experienced times of trouble and struggle But they've been able to work their ways through that time of struggle and trouble and have gone to a place that That the Lord is blessing their marriage And so not everybody wants to receive counsel from those who have wisdom and very often it's the scoffer who resists that So the believer will listen to advice where the non-believer does not now as we begin I'd point something out that's very basic. God designed marriage to have husbands in the leadership role And this role finds its origin in creation and is intended to ensure order in the home We all know that a body with two heads is is really monstrous It's really not the way things should be and every family is to have leadership and God has Created the husband to hold that leadership role in 1st Corinthians chapter 11 verse 3 the Apostle Paul said this he said I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ The head of woman is man and the head of Christ is God He goes on in the same chapter in verses 8 and 9 to say man is not from woman, but woman from man Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man God created man created woman God intends leadership Jesus modeled submission to proper in proper relationship with his father even so we've been seen in 1st Peter How the Apostle has been speaking concerning the proper role of submission within the confines of Government and in in society at large and he's been speaking concerning that as it relates to marriage And so God has created man to be the leader of the home Now though God has intended Man to lead some husbands have a difficult time doing so perhaps it's it's because some wives Refused to be led because they believe themselves to be more capable She may have been leading for a long time and doesn't want to relinquish her power And that creates tension, especially when the husband believes it's time for him to take that lead And sometimes even in frustration he might try to force his leadership on his wife and it doesn't work Some husbands really don't know how to lead they they weren't trained to lead properly Some had no fathers or they had improper leadership role models Some husbands are simply too timid or even afraid to lead Maybe they're afraid to fall and they're more comfortable having their wife tell them what to do it's like that story of those two lines in heaven and They're all men and so you look in the front of the line and there's a sign and the sign says This is a line for all men who are bossed around by their wife and as far as you could see there's a line of men But there's another sign that says this is the line for those who are not bossed by their wives And there's only one man standing there And so someone walks up and says how come you're standing here and the guy says well I don't know my wife told me to stand here. And so That's why I'm here Some men just really don't know how to lead and they find it more comfortable to be told what to do Obviously leading the wife and leading the home isn't easy Some men don't want to make decisions. They they think that things are fine Their their attitude is why rock the boat? Why change things? It's like that man who said he hadn't spoken to his wife in 18 months because he doesn't like to interrupt her You know, it's one of those things that he just is comfortable with the way that things are But God has God has vested in men the responsibility of leadership in the home And that's something that I as a husband am being held accountable for by God himself In 1st Timothy chapter 5 verse 8 Paul said if anyone does not provide for his relatives Is and especially for his immediate family? He has denied the faith in his worse than an unbeliever So I actually stand before God Giving an account of the ministry responsibilities that he has given to me and my faithfulness in those things The Apostle Peter writing here is writing from to to in two ways when he's writing from experience He was a married man and secondly he's writing under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit And he's beginning to give instructions to husbands and this is what we see here in 1st Peter chapter 3 verse 7 And that's why he says likewise you husbands dwell with them with understanding now he begins by saying dwell that word dwell Means to intimately cohabit He's saying you need to know the difference between a house and a home. I Can still remember when I was around six or seven years old in a class in our class at school where? The teacher asked the question of the students. What is the difference between a house and a home and A little girl raised her hand and I think it was the best answer I've ever heard and she was just a little girl six or seven years old She said a house is where people live in a home is where a family lives And I've never forgotten her definition because it's a good one men need to know the difference between dwelling in a in a motel with domestic service and a home and We have to be the ones who are used by the Lord to to make it possible for it to actually be a Home so you you live with this woman, but you're not just living in the same place You're actually intimately growing to to enjoy being with her notice how he says dwell with your wives with understanding With understanding now that is a challenge You know it's been said there are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman before they get married and Afterwards, you know, and there's probably some truth to that you have to actually work at getting to know one another And the way that you get to know one another is to spend time with one another That's how you dwell with understanding you make her your chief interest or your The number one thing that you study in life outside of scripture and your relationship with God And so what we do is we dwell with our wife according to knowledge The way that I grew to know the girl that I ultimately married is I spent a lot of time with her And I did so first when we dated and so when we dated I got to know this young lady I got to know that she was the kind of woman that I could spend the rest of my life with I Grew to love her through dating and getting to know her we went out quite often and and as we did We'd spend a lot of time with her we had things to adjust to she didn't always like the places I went or wanted to take her, you know, I can still remember her complaining because I only spent ten dollars on our date And she thought I was cheap and in a sense she's that was right, but I just spent more if she had paid more That's all she had was ten dollars. So that's all you get in a date with me But you know in the dating relationship you spend time with them you get to know them You get to learn things about them and all and so what Marie and I decided to do is we decided to continue dating Into the marriage we didn't stop dating just because we got married we dated to get to know one another continued dating So we continue to grow in our relationship with one another It's a very important thing to do because in dating you grow to know them now in some dating Relationships you're learning things you shouldn't know until you're married and in some marriages You still don't know things you should have learned when you were dating There are a lot of guys who don't yet understand that one basic thing They want to know certain things about that woman, but they don't want to know the things that matter to her So it's an important thing for us as men to take some inventory because you can actually look within yourself to discover How well you know this woman by simply answering questions That would be related to her. What is her favorite color? What is her favorite meal? What is her dress size? I realize that changes it was so often It's the standard size. I Don't know the devil told me to say that ladies forgive me You know things that matter to her her best friend in the eighth grade You know just the other day just yesterday Marie was on the phone she was speaking to one of her sisters and And she says no dad wasn't left-handed dad was right-handed and Marie looks to me. She says was my dad left-handed or right-handed You know, I think that's cool that she can actually ask me a question like that and I said no your dad was right-handed Yeah, that's right. My dad was right-handed. She tells her sister Now and her grandmother Dominguez was left-handed, you know, and so we've had that conversation We know those things small things. Yeah, you know Monumental things absolutely not important things you bet why because she can ask me things about her family She can ask me things about whatever she wants and because of our conversations and the volume of Talking that we've done. I have an awful lot of information that is cataloged our first date I picked Marie up at 11 o'clock in the morning and dropped her off at 1 o'clock the next morning We spent the whole day 13 hours with the friend We double dated spent some time with another couple 13 hours together and all we did was talk And we still talk that's what we do we spend time visiting every day all the time Dating yes, I have the the the blessing of the Lord and the luxury to be able to determine My schedule so I can actually spend time with my wife every day So Marie and I continue to date to this date Basically every day the only day that we don't have a date is on Sunday morning because you guys are ruining my marriage But that's the that's that's the only time that we don't date You know it's on Sunday Monday through Saturday. We're together Monday through Saturday We spent time together and that's that's what's made our marriage very strong and and over the years I I have as a husband as she has a wife I as a husband have done my best to get to know this woman that I'm married to My dad was not a talker. My dad wasn't the kind of man who would Sit down with you and bend your ear in conversation. That just wasn't my dad My dad would sit in front of a television set and talk to you during commercials And when the commercial was over that was it conversations done better be finished because that was my dad So I had three-minute sound bites with him all of my life But I can still remember my dad speaking to me one day saying to me David Before there was you there was your mother and When you leave this home, there is still your mother your mother comes first and my father taught me to Put the wife in the proper place He said you teet you you spend time with your wife. You love your wife. He didn't have to lecture me He just showed me and so you learn to do that by spending time with this woman You get to know them and get to understand them So you dwell on dwell according to knowledge the scripture says you make her the focus of your studies You get to know her whether she has you know a soft spot whether she is You know a kind of person who who has a great sense of humor I Learned that very early in our marital relationship. I I learned about Marie's sense of humor I used to have a plastic spider. It's a black widow. I've shared this before a black widow It looked real and I would put it all over the house So when Marie was making the bed the black widow would come out from underneath the pillow when she'd lift it And she'd scream and I'd be in the other room and I'd go ha ha And I'd go and get it. Oh, you know, I put it away. Yeah, I don't like that. Don't do that Okay, and then I put it in the freezer. So when she's pulling some meat out it would fall out You know and I did that all the time Then one day I decided to put it in the the cream that she uses to remove her her makeup and she Had She had been working all Afternoon into like two or three in the morning trying to hem some drapes in our front room And she wasn't having a very good time with that. I could hear her Crying to the Lord. Jesus help me. Jesus help me. I just can't do this. Jesus help me and I'm laying in bed thinking You know, yeah, help her. I need to go to sleep. But no, I I remember I could hear her And then she said I'm just giving up. I'm coming to bed and then I remembered this The spiders in the in the cream and I jumped out of bed, but I didn't get to the bathroom in time I heard screams. Oh No, I can't take that anymore And I hear I hear the sound of this cold cream hitting the door. She threw it You know, I walked in there's this little spider all sad And I picked him up and threw him away I discovered she doesn't have a sense of humor You'd think I learned my lesson, huh? A few years ago when I first lost my memory Marie got really concerned about that because I had Amnesia I had no clue where I was and it was kind of a serious situation So I did a Sunday night service and I was driving home and I called her up and I said I'm on my way home Okay, honey. I said, but I'm not quite sure where I'm at She goes really I said I just I'm on a street called Walnut Walnut She goes yeah, I said yeah, I'm going I said, but I'm not sure if I'm coming home Or if I'm going away from home really I said yeah, let me tell you the cross street. Okay. I just passed a street called mountain Well, that's in a different direction than I live so she goes you're going in the wrong direction I said oh well wait a minute. Maybe I said there's another one called central. You're going in the wrong direction. Oh really? Well, you know, honey, this is a street called Euclid you're going in the wrong direction turn around turn around and I'm on my way home I'm just going home and just driving home, you know I said okay, and I start just naming streets and I'm coming to get you I'm coming to get you I said I'm okay. No, I'm coming working Well, I'm driving and I'm coming up our street and I see her and my son Joseph just coming down towards me And I see him as they're coming down towards me So I slowed down I put my hand ten o'clock two o'clock on the steering wheel Stared straight ahead as I went by him at 25 and a 45 and they did they're honking the horn flashing the lights And I can see their hands like that and I just drove past her like I didn't see her And I wait till I see him making a u-turn and I sped up and I go I speed up into the neighborhood And I and I turned and I knew they were gonna follow everywhere. I'm going cuz they think I don't know where I'm at I finally got home. I was laying on the couch watching TV when they walked in she still doesn't have a sense of humor She got so mad. What are you getting so mad about? I'm safe. I'm home. You shouldn't do that. So you'll learn certain things Oh for a time. I haven't done it since well. I forget since the last time I did something like that Well We've got to learn To dwell with our wives according to knowledge and we do learn the things that they like and the things that they don't like So what do we do? Well, we husbands restrict outside distractions We concentrate more on her and the things that will make the two of us into the one Distractions can take us away From our marriage instead of building it up and therefore we're careful with the things that distract us Hobbies and and work outside activities that eliminate my wife from my life Should be kept at a minimum. No distractions should come before her as a Christian husband I want her to be blessed by the Lord and so I I restrict outside distraction So I can concentrate on developing a relationship with her because if we're going to make it to the end We need to walk in the same direction Amos 3 3 says can to walk together unless they are agreed and So we dwell with our wives according to knowledge Also notice how he instructs husbands to give honor to the wife When he says giving honor, that's another way of saying assigning dignity to her What we do is we maintain and provide for the wife in every way that we can we do this by the way that we treat her How we speak to her and how we speak of her We assign dignity by encouraging her walk in the Lord and we do so by his word It says in Ephesians 5 26 that Jesus sanctifies and cleanses his bride by the wash in the water of the word So husbands, I cannot emphasize this enough spend time together reading devotions reading God's word and Actively serving together in your church fellowship. I cannot emphasize that enough Marie and I have been together for a while now She was 22 and I was 24 when we met I Got saved in 1970 at the very end but had to go into the military. I spent 21 months active duty Got out of the service went into a backslide got right with the Lord in September of 1973 began to teach a home Bible study. I had just turned 23 years old I taught that Bible study for many years, but for that year The next year my brother August 4th 1974 got saved When my brother got saved he needed a home Bible study I started driving from Norwalk to Ontario and began to teach him a Bible study During the course of teaching on Bible study. He started inviting friends One of the friends that he invited was a young co-worker by the name of Marie Marie came to the Bible study and Within two or three weeks was saved After she got saved. I waited for a month or two. I asked her out So she literally has her entire Christian life been under my teaching her entire Christian life She used to sit Literally at my feet because in the Bible study the room was maybe eight feet by ten feet It was a very small very small room. There was just a handful of people that would fill the room up So Marie in order to to be there seated at the Bible study just chose to sit there at the chair that I was seated at She would sit on my right hand there and she'd lean against the chair as I gave the word She has literally sat under my teaching since 1974. I can tell you what will make your marriage good Keep together in the word of God Keep together in the word of God. Why because when you're in the word together Then you have the opportunity to see what God's will is for us together And so make sure you get up in the morning and spend time in prayer You don't have to go into a huge prayer brother You don't have to if your wife is still in bed or it is still in the house before you leave or before she leaves or whatever Take a moment Hold hands in Jesus name father be with us today be with our kids if you're a parent God be with us Pick up the scripture. You can read the book of Proverbs one chapter at a time and you can do that in a month Find a Bible book to read I I encourage you to read the gospel of John together start with Genesis whatever is best for you But take some time to read take some time to stay in the words take some time to study together Serve the Lord together talk about Jesus together That's what Marie and I have done for all of these years and that's what has helped me Listen, I was a new believer basically when I started teaching I was only I don't even know three years old or so In the Lord when I actually began to study the word of God and try and communicate it So Marie didn't marry pastor David Marie married David who wanted to serve God. That's who she married and when she married this man over the years She's been able to grow under my ministry and together. We've served and together. We've grown But if you're going to have a solid marriage remember that the word of God sanctifies and cleanses the wife Now he speaks of a signing honor that also Concerns lifting her up instead of running her down The way that you speak to your wife encourages her or diminishes her personal value I believe it important to do this on a daily basis. Tell your wife. How much you love her a lot of guys don't a Lot of guys don't it's like that old man was married 40 years And he says my wife wants me to tell her I love him. I told her I love to the day We got married how many times do I have to say it I? Tell my wife and I'm not saying this. Oh, I'm so good some guys think that way even though that's true. No, I I Don't come off that way. I hope I don't I'm just telling you what God has given to me that has made my marriage solid I learned it tell your wife every day. How much you love her? You don't have to get on your knees and do you are the most precious You don't have to do that unless that's how you're so moved and then we do offer counseling No, I I all I'm saying is just tell her Maybe I love you Maybe I thought was hard for me to do I've shared this with you again These are all lessons I learned in the early days and I repeat them because they were they were benchmarks for me There I was in an office Marie calls me we haven't been married more than several months. I Speak to her for a moment. She says to me Okay, honey, I'll talk to you later and I say okay. Bye. She says tell me you love me and I say Yeah Yeah, of course No, tell me you love me. I said you know She goes I'm not hanging up unless you tell me you love me and I said what's wrong with you and my boss Who had been married 25 years turns to me and he says just tell her you love her or she won't hang up That was a voice of experience But I learned a long time ago. I learned a long time ago. It's not an insecurity on her part It's not a weakness or a frailty on her part. It's how she's made up She wants to know that the guy she's with loves her So tell her you love her tell her every day use words and Use actions, but let her know I tell my wife. She's beautiful. I tell her that all the time, baby You are gorgeous. I you know just just to yesterday. We're driving. I'm looking at her and I'm driving and it's dangerous to drive with her I have to keep my eyes on the road ahead, but I'm looking at her and I go, you know, baby You're so beautiful, you know, and it's not like she's like so insecure. Oh, you gotta tell me that or I Feel like I'm a wart. No, it's not that at all. You know, it's it's that it she appreciates it You know, she appreciates it and so tell her you love her tell her she's beautiful Tell her how important she is to you be considerate of her let her know Because those are things that are very very important. They really really are it helps to develop her dignity It helps her to understand how important she really is and I think we should tell them all the time And we need to tell her how much we value her and we should do that Openly not something that you do behind closed doors But you do it openly, you know, I I'll say this quickly There are there are men who look at me and I know this as being some kind of wimpy dude You know, I understand that, you know, man, you know, if you're a real man, you know how to treat that woman, you know They think I'm a wimp, you know, and and and I have a problem with that. Oh, I really don't But I've got a great marriage and I've got a great wife And I'm very happy and I would put my marriage up against anybody's who Think that by being mr. Macho that you're gonna have a good marriage Anybody, you know for me, I have invested in the woman that I'm going to live with until Jesus puts me Well until she places me in the arms of Jesus Christ That's how it's going to be because one of these days either she's gonna place me in his arms When I die or I will place her in his arms when she goes home and I will have no Regrets I will not have this. I wish I'd have told her how much I loved her I wish I'd have told her how how beautiful she is. I wish I have done too many funerals I've been to too many funerals where that husband is regretting that he didn't spend more time with the wife that he didn't Tell her how special she was and that and that husband's heart is broken because it's too late Well, I made up my mind a long time ago. Yeah, when when she sees me in that casket She will hear my voice in her mind and she will hear these words Marie baby, I love you. You are beautiful and I'm waiting for you That will be in her heart because I planted it there husbands love your wives Pour into them that they may know how valuable they are now Because you don't want to bury them one day and wish that you would have told her one last time You see my grandmother My grandmother was angry at my grandfather And he went to give her goodbye kiss as he went to work. He was 50 years old He went to kiss my grandmother and she turned her face from him And he went to work and that day on the job He used to work in a lumberyard and he was in an area where they did a lot of grinding of the wood and all so there was a lot of a lot of dust and sawdust in the air and sawdust explodes if there's a fire it'll explode and it exploded with my grandfather and He got third degree burns over his entire body He was placed in the hospital and he died and my grandmother told my mom and my mom told me That I wish I would have kissed your your dad. I wish I would have kissed grandpa Rosales Goodbye, because I never had a chance to do that. Listen. I'm not going to be guilty of that I'm not going to be guilty of that. My wife is told every day How much I love her? She's told every day how important she is to me and You need to do that if you're going to have a solid marriage you need to it's not because she's weak It's not because she's needy is because she is the weaker vessel It's because she has this gentleness of spirit and that's how you minister most effectively and you're not being a Man when you bully her and you're not being a man when you verbally put her down And you're not being a man when you stand up and and puff out your chest to show her who's boss You're not being a man. You're losing authority. You're not gaining it. You're losing love You're not building it when you treat her like that the Apostle Peter would make it very clear That is not what we do if we're gonna have a good wife and a good marriage. She is as I just said the weaker vessel She's the weaker vessel not because she's physically weaker I mean you can go to a gym and you can walk into the gym There are some huge weight lifters in there man. Have you seen them lately and They're curling and they got these 22 inch biceps and veins that are popping out of their arms I walk in and I say those women are the biggest women I've ever seen in my life and the tattoo dad on their shoulder. I mean these are scary women I mean, he's not talking about he's not talking about physical weakness at all What he's speaking about is her gentleness So you don't treat her wrong. You don't abuse her You're not mean to her. I had to learn that again You know part of the lessons God has taught me isn't what I've succeeded in it is when I've had to learn through my failures But I try to learn my lessons as quickly as possible. I come up from a family that I had permission and I'm Aggressively disobedient I confess so I would say what's on my mind regardless of whether it was appreciated or not But my mom and my dad as long as I spoke what was true With respect my mom and my dad were fine with that So I would say what's on my mind, which is one of the reasons why bringing my parents to Christ Was not that great a challenge. I just in terms of sharing with them It was a work of God's spirit to bring them to faith But in terms of me speaking to them I didn't have a problem with that at all because I I was raised in an environment where I was given permission to speak and so I would speak what's on my mind and It would always be kind of a sound bite thing. It was just this is what I think. This is how I feel Marie and I get married she comes from a very quiet family where they kind of like think things through and consider things and I Wasn't anything like that. And so we have a disagreement and and the way I would handle I handled it was like This is what I think This is where it's going to be You got something to say say it now and that was just Rosales. I mean that's what Rosales is do You got something to say say it now She wouldn't say anything if I figure end of story. It's done. No problem And I'd leave I did this a few times. I walk outside. I Come back an hour later and she'd say listen mister I want to tell you this and I'd look at her and I'd say hey I thought we already had this conversation. You had your conversation. Mine's just starting And I go what? You know like what's that all about? I I I Don't get this because I've already dealt with it. I thought we had an agreement. I said it you agreed You didn't say anything. It's settled, right? No, nope. And so I had to learn a long time ago. I can still be Direct, but she also knows that But I had to learn a long time ago that you don't you don't you don't just intimidate you don't just use your verbal I mean, that's what I do for a living. I speak for a living So I'm used to it. I'm used to studying look at I'm used to looking at points and sub points and developing how to respond I'm used to that. I have a debate mentality and so when I get into discussion. I've already got it thought out normally So obviously you have to understand I'm right and that's the arrogance that God had to deal with I didn't realize it You mean there are two sides to every story duh Yes, and so I had to learn that I had to learn to be quiet to let her speak and not to bully her and intimidate her Marie is more deliberate in the way. She thinks more deliberate in the way that she presents things for me I'm very quick. I just say this this this this this that's it for Marie She says well, there are variations or a shades there and I had to learn to do that with her And I learned how to do that over time don't bully her the Bible tells us in Ephesians 5 25 Husbands love your wife just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her It's an attitude of sacrifice So learn to cherish and be tender towards her years ago. Marie and I were going to the hospital She was about to give birth to David my son and We went to Pomona Valley Hospital and as we were about to walk We walked up the curb and we're walking towards the entrance a Woman was being wheeled out and She was she had just given birth She was holding her three-day old infant in her arms and As they wheeled her out to the curb her boyfriend or husband pulls up on a Harley Yeah on a Harley and She climbs out of the wheelchair and She climbs on the back of this Harley With her infant and drives away The nurse turns and looks at Marie and me with this look of disgust like can you believe what this guy just did? and I looked back at the woman and I thought I have to apologize for all human beings all males on the face of the earth for what This guy just did because that To me was so Amazingly stupid and I will use the word stupid forgive me to us in my house That was a word that you shouldn't use that is what that was and I could not believe it You see when Marie gave birth to Corinne Because she gave birth she had you know, 33 hours of labor then she gives birth to this baby It was it was tough for her And so we lived in a small apartment in Rowland Heights and and I literally carried her up the stairs and Carried her down the stairs for two weeks Because she she was healing up now she carries me up the stairs and carries me down But at that time I used to carry her and I would carry her up the stairs because she was healing and it took her No less than two weeks and so this woman just gave birth and she's on the back of a hardtail Harley Unbelievable But there are men who don't have the common sense that God gave them at birth They just don't think if you love your wife. You make her life easier Not harder less pain Not more and that's how husbands treat the wives and that's basically what he's saying we value her We regard her we treat her like a lady we treat her as if she's the most important person in our life We treat her tenderly we treat her lovingly Ephesians 5 28 29 says husbands ought to love their own wives as their own body see who loves his wife loves himself No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church Yelling and demanding isn't the way to lead a wife bullying and demeaning destroys or breaks her spirit Reckless words according to Proverbs 12 18 pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing So we realize that we are one we're a team we stand together or fall together We are called equally to enjoy the Lord enter his glory together and as such I have an awareness that my wife reveals much about me Your wife husband is the greatest reflection and open expression of your walk with the Lord Jesus Christ when I have interviewed men to become On position of staff here. I want to see their wife Because she is his most obvious ministry Not what he can bring with his eloquence or his service But what is his wife like Because according to 1st Corinthians chapter 11 verse 7 the woman is the glory of the man It can seem self-serving forgive me people Who know of our ministry know That the pastor of the church loves his wife everybody knows that I'm very well known to be honest with you for that one thing I go places where I'm speaking as a guest and People will walk up to me and we'll say I listen to you on the radio say hi to Marie Because I mentioned her and I don't even think about it. I just do I don't have in my notes mentioned Marie here I just do out of the abundance of my heart So I don't even think about that anybody who's ever met Marie Forgive me if this sounds bragging, but I will brag on her for a moment Anybody who's ever met Marie Will say she's a very very sweet lady and very loving and indeed she is she is Absolutely But I've shared this with you before how that when Marie and I were first dating Marie wasn't like that Openly she's very closed See I was a Jesus freak Jesus freaks hug everybody Jesus freaks will say love you man. That's what we did and we sincerely did Marie came from a more rigid traditional background. She's more reserved And so when we were dating something happened She had hurt. She got hurt emotionally over something and I was there when she began to cry And I I went up to her to hug her to comfort her and she pushed me She pushed me away. She said don't touch me. I don't like it when people touch me when I'm upset and I looked at her and I said I really don't care and I grabbed her again And I pulled it to myself and I said you need to be comforted and I'm gonna hold you until you are In a nice way and I and I actually and I told her I said let me tell you something Christians love one another and What I'm doing is expressing my concern for you and I'm not gonna have you stop me from being expressive about my love People in this church think I'm the reserved one You're wrong my wife is But if you meet my wife, you would say she's a loving woman. Where do you think she got that from? the husband Has that influence in The life of the wife the woman is the glory of the man. I In the Lord Jesus Christ that this is not a boast forgive me if it sounds that way have had that influence in her You're gonna love you're gonna learn to trust you're gonna be that way because that's what we're gonna be together We're gonna love that's how it works. So you may think oh pastor David so reserved. I'm the hugger in the family I'm the one who kisses in the family Marie learned that through me My kids are all that way. They learned that through their dad My grandchildren are all that way. They learned that through their grandfather and Grandma, but where did grandma learn that she learned that through her boyfriend who became her husband? Who all of these years have cherished and loved her and shown her what love is? That's how it works finally husbands in marriage Who is the most? important man in your wife's life The obvious answer would be Jesus Christ. Yes, that's a given many Well a few years ago not many years a few years ago now about three or four years ago. I had a Memory lapse that was very severe. It's been a few years now and The doctors were concerned at that time To the degree that they didn't know whether or not I would ever fully recover and believed it was a potential for me to One day Completely lose by a memory We were going through all kinds of tests And I didn't share it with the church didn't share it with anybody except for Marie and Some very dear and close friends They were praying for us I didn't want to bring the word to the church because I didn't want to cause my church to be concerned about me But it wasn't good at one point. It was actually very concerning To the degree that I had to make an announcement to my family and so after a third service I Told my kids to come into my office immediately after service so I can speak to them They came and sat in my office with me because they knew that I'd gone through a battery of tests and We began to speak And I said I'm not concerned about myself Please don't think that I am because I'm not the Lord's in control but should But should I Lose my memory because the doctor was concerned that I was Well, by the time I was 64. I was supposed to completely lose all of my memory And I was going to probably have to be placed someplace That's what the doctor was saying so I said I'm not concerned about myself I'm concerned for your mother I'm concerned That she's cared for you see when my dad died He had a heart attack that He eventually succumbed to and went home to be with Jesus when my dad died His final prayer my mom said to me was this she said do you know when daddy had his heart attacked? Do you know what he did? I said what mama? He prayed I said well, of course She said do you know what he prayed? I said no what? He prayed Jesus take care of my wife That was my dad's last prayer Jesus take care of my wife. I learned the love of woman by watching a man love my mother Now I'm in that situation myself And I'm in my office and I tell my children I'm not concerned for me I'm concerned for mama That's what I'm concerned for and then I said this and this will be misunderstood by some I know I Hope you hope you don't misunderstand this But I said this I said In your mother's life There's only one great man And that's me. I Am the greatest man your mother has ever known and will ever know My kids looked at me kind of like surprised that I would say that It wasn't that they opposed the idea because they love their dad It was just a surprise because I've never said anything like that. I said that's something you need to understand about our Relationship there is nobody else for her there is no other man greater than me There's nobody else she will ever love it is me and that's why I'm concerned for her Take care of your mother Was a very emotional moment Now within three weeks we got a call from the doctor who had said that my memory was gone And he said, you know sometimes we make mistakes and we made a mistake with you. You're fine Your memory is not going anywhere. You're okay, but at that time we didn't know that and I'm fine and have been fine now for the last several years. I think I don't remember but I'm pretty sure But my final thought my brother's fellow husbands Can your wife say that about you and I don't say that like Mine can say that about me. You're nothing. No, what I'm saying is Can your wife if your wife and I had a conversation and I said to her Who is the greatest man in your life outside of Jesus Christ? Would your name instantly come upon her lips and she'd say my honey, I love him He is the greatest if not Make it your aim Make it your aim that that's what she will say Because I said earlier one of these days My wife is going to put me into the arms of Jesus Christ and when she stands up and she eulogizes her husband She will not have to lie. She will tell the truth. She will say I was loved She will say he called me beautiful every day. She will say my husband laid his life down for me She will say he was my hero. He was the greatest man I ever knew outside of Jesus Christ that has been my aim and that will be my aim until Jesus Christ calls me home may it be the same for you