 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of JonathanAsley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, men only pursue this type of woman, this type of woman. This is what he really wants. Okay, now I'm sure a couple of you are probably wondering, you notice that I'm wearing, this is actually red, but it doesn't look red in the camera, so tell me what color this looks like by posting a comment below, because I wanna know what color this looks like. Okay, and if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe button, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. Okay, we're gonna talk about men pursuing this type of woman. All right, so let's think about this. So now most of my audience is midlife, and that's after baby making years and before retirement. So most of you are somewhere between 42 and 69. That's the majority of my demographics. So from a dating mating, dating mating and relating perspective, men in their 20s and 30s are a little bit different. Although, and we have to differentiate what time period they came from, because I'm in the tail end of the baby boom. I'm almost Gen X. Majority of you are either baby boomers or Gen X. And certainly, when baby boomers and Gen Xers were in their 20s and 30s, they operated differently because most of us had the same blueprint. The blueprint was go to college, get a job, meet a girl, get married, buy a house, start a family. That was the blueprint of choosing a mate. In fact, a lot of men that were baby boomers and Gen Xers were mostly, if they wanted a relationship, they were actually on the hunt for a wife. So they were thinking from a more practical standpoint. They were thinking from a practical standpoint relationship. Now today's man is a little bit different than in midlife because here's the challenge with those of us in midlife is that many of us, 75, almost 75%, and this is anecdotal, but is our divorced in midlife. And many people have had life experiences that have set them up for practical failure in relationship. So they're actually approaching the dating process with a sort of ambiguity, an ambiguity. Because they're focusing on this one thing for choosing a mate. And it boils down to this. If it feels good, they're gonna keep moving forward. And if it doesn't feel good, it's going to either end or it's gonna hit roadblocks. Most men operate women to some degree too. The difference with women is they tend to get attached to a guy and it could be terrible relationship. They could be a horrific relationship but they're attached to the guy and they, because the chemistry is so wonderful, Jonathan. I can't believe that this chemistry was so off the charts. I'm just, I, you know, except he's toxic and he's inconsistent, his actions don't match his words and he's a victim and all this, but because you're attached whereas men operate, are they feeling good today with this person? Are they not feeling good? And here's where the dilemma lies. Is it's not about feeling good with you, it's about do they feel good with themselves? Because the only woman they're going to pursue is the woman that he actually feels good about himself. But the problem is, if he's the type of guy that needs another person to love him for him to feel good about himself, it's always gonna be a chaotic relationship. Hence why I'm such a big proponent of, for those of you to, you know, establish self-love as your daily practice and choose men who love on themselves. I guess that's why I wore red, does it, does the colors match? Because most men are operating from this, I wanna feel good in relationship, but it's coming from a needy place. And these could evenly, this could easily be avoidant personality men. I don't, I know many of you read the book attached by Amir Levine, but even avoidant men are focused on, does it feel good or not feel good? This is because most relationships lack a directionality, they lack intention, they lack purpose. Most people are dating with their heads cut off like a chicken, because they haven't established what a healthy relationship looks like. What are the mechanics of a healthy relationship? Hence why I keep talking about the book, Eight Dates by Dr. John Gottman. You gotta open these pages and read what it takes to make a healthy, happy relationship. And ladies, the reason why I'm preaching this to you is because you are the leaders, you are the emotional leaders of the relationship. I know you want men to be the leaders of the relationship, but let's face it, why are you talking incessantly, commitment phobic men, men who goes, men who get disappear, men who are emotionally unavailable. If this is your perception of men out there, why would you wanna give that guy to be the leader of the relationship? You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny. You are in charge of your relationship, Destiny, not the guy. This is why I wanna encourage you to establish your standard of what you're looking for relationship. And I promise you, when you get this book, you will figure out your standard. And this is your Bible. And guess what? If his penis wants into your vagina, then he should be reading this book too. You guys should both be reading this together. The minute you begin an intimate relationship with someone, stop fucking around, people start growing up. You and guys, by the way, ladies, send this video to guys too, because they need to grow up as well. I know it's frustrating for you because these are guys running around basically because they're operating because they want this feeling without understanding the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. I'm riled up, please forgive me. I'm wearing red, it's a passion color. So maybe that's what's got me riled up because I'm here to say, make better choices in your life by starting to look inward for yourself and study this stuff so you're better prepared to attract a great guy in your life. God, I get so riled up on this stuff because I wanna be that wake up call. I wanna shake you, shake people into waking up to a better way to date, mate, and relate. And that better way is self-reflection, introspective work, personal development, self-help, and spiritual work on oneself so we're not dependent upon other people for our happiness. You don't need to operate. I need you to love me to feel good about myself. And I can help you get there. If you need help with that schedule, a discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you. And if you can't afford coaching, check out my VIP group. It's called Midlife Love Mastery. There's a link in the description below. All right, listen, I'm very parental. I'm very protective. I act like a big brother because I care. I'm here to just shift perspective. I don't hold punches. I call it the way I see it. I think you get the gist of that. All right, I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big gigantic hug of self-love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to somebody and give them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love and we can all use more love in our lives. Thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye-bye now.