 Alright, here's a good one. Try to embrace failure, but fearing it. Yeah, because we're right. Now we understand failure. What you do with failure defines you and often is the impetus to your success. But fuck, it's also scary, you know, and yeah. And it hurts. It's like a eight month. It hurts our ego. I mean, it just, yeah, it hurts our ego. It hurts. It's like, I spent all this time, my energy. I thought it was going to do a thing. It didn't do that at all. And I wasted a year of my life or whatever, a day or whatever. I think it's okay that it hurts. I don't, like putting ego on it makes it seem like, because you're a fucking ego. And it's like, no, it fucking hurts. It hurts getting you go meet a girl for a date and she doesn't want to, it's your ego. Yeah, but it's still, it is ego. But ego isn't all bad. We need our ego. I mean, I can get into like my chemical thing where like that is just that that is like the chemicals introduce ego. If you don't feel, if you can just like be, then there's no ego. It's just very hard to know what to do. Like, do I eat? Do I walk? Do I do? Do I just be? Or, I just think that ego, I'm with you, that ego is not purely shitty and selfish. I like the answer is never outside of ourselves. It's in, you know, right? It's always inside. It's always simple. Aren't you proud of your, the things you made though? Yeah. Yeah, I'm proud of the things I've made. Yeah. And do you, are you? Some of them. Some of them. No, I know. I mean, comedy doesn't hate you. Are you proud of them in order of popular, current popularity? No. Yeah. The stuff I made that nobody liked that I love. Yeah. And it didn't, it did not connect. Yeah. The masses. Yeah. So it's just, and is that ego or is that just like, I don't know. I had an idea. I executed it. And I, I hope people, it was like a little project is like Rory building a bench. You know, it's, I don't know which part of this is ego because it's, it's like I made a video and I was like, this is so fucking weird and excellent. And I still love it, but it didn't. Didn't go viral for you? No, not even close. And, you know, and, but I still, it didn't change how I, my opinion on it. Well, it's also, there's a thing of similar to like, you got to keep the thing open. It's like the same part of you that makes that up makes the Sarah Silverman program or the Jesus or like the stuff that is super popular. So all right. So that time it's just like, that one was a dud. Doesn't mean like burn the factory down. Just means like that was just a bad, that I, the recipe was a little off to the kitchen's fantastic. But like that in that particular ones is like, eh, it was, I don't know. Like it's not so bad, but I think it's when it's a failure. It's the failures when you didn't listen to yourself and all that stuff that you're like. Well, yeah. I mean, there's nothing worse than failing after adhering to a bunch of notes you didn't necessarily agree with. And then it, you know, and then it, and then it bombs or it, or they don't, or they don't pick it up or it's like, you want to like, you want to fail on something you believe in. Yeah. I mean, you don't want to fail on something you believe in, but. But you'd rather. I think so. And have you gotten better with that? Yeah. Accepting the failures? There's always a moment. I mean, I mean, I don't know if it's healthier or not, but like everything I make, I'm like, I'm putting gold in their lap right now. I mean. Here I go again. And it, and I am shocked when it doesn't get picked up. I can't believe the mistake they're making. Like, you know, like, and, and then a month later, I'm like, Oh that. Yeah. No, I'm not. I'm on to the next thing. I, yeah, I could talk about that endlessly. Cause, and cause we mostly fail. Yeah. So it's like, and then the, the success is just keep you on the hook for like three more failures. Yeah. Standup is just failing and then weeding out the stuff that didn't fail and building on that or figuring out why this failed and, and figuring out it, you know. Or like jokes that you love that fucking bomb every time. And you're like, I'm still going to try it. And eventually you have to give up if you don't figure it out. But it's just like, why do I love this and nobody likes that? What am I missing? Am I not completing enough of the circle for them? Does he the circle? Like, you know what I mean? Okay. I don't know one. That's why it's impossible. Yeah. That's why they give you a billion. And how audiences are like mobs. Like it's so funny how an audience will, they'll either all laugh at something or no one laughs. And this is like, how did you guys all get together and figure out what to laugh at? But it's, there's, it's, there's some chemical scientific reason that a group of people who are strangers to each other react in as one. I always feel, I, I don't even know if I'm right. If there's an influencer, the same way there's influencers online, is there an influencer in the crowd? And I'm, they don't, they might not even be aware of it. But like in the audience may not be aware of it consciously, but there's one kind of alpha, alpha audience member who's kind of signaling to everyone else. I, it's, it would be impossible to measure. I'll tell you what your brother told me. I love it already. 1990s when I started there and him and really the whole brain trust of all male comics informed me that you can't talk about stuff about a woman's life unless it's also relatable to a man. You have to focus solely on making the men in the audience laugh because they're on dates and the women will only laugh if their date is laughing. It was scientific. Where are we on that? It is proven and through time to not actually be true. And I feel like you, the audiences have changed so much. So it's like, Well, because the whole world has changed. Yeah. And so I don't even, I bet 20% of your audience is on dates. Yeah. Or tops. Yeah. But it's not that 20%, it's not that less people are on dates. No, of course. It's like it doesn't adhere to whatever. Women will now show their teeth. They will be, yeah, they're allowed to laugh out loud above a certain decibel. You couldn't go above a decibel. Right. The gals until 2007. This is a good one and a bad one accepting failure. Yeah. Well, I learned early on to accept failure, especially in my skating because I did supportly competing. Every time or just when you first started? First started. And you're still kind of that kid. And it would go, it would fluctuate. I would do well, say at a park that I knew, you know, my home park, obviously. Yeah. That was in the dark, right? Yeah. But then I go other places and I couldn't do all the same tricks. And then I made it my mission to make sure to go practice elsewhere, get out of my comfort zone and figure that stuff out. And I eventually did. But I learned a lot through those years of failure. I mean, my first, my first skate event that I ever competed in, I'll never forget. I asked the, because they didn't say the, they only said the top 10 or whatever it was, you know, and I was, I was in the 1A division, 11 and under, right? There was 2A, 12 to 14, 3A. Like there were so many divisions and there's like 100 kids in mind. And so I went to the register registration. I said, yeah, can you tell me what place I got? Like, oh yeah, honey, what's your name? So Tony Hawk and she flips the first page. There's like 20 names on the second page, third page. She gets to the last page. I don't see it. She's like, oh honey, I'm sorry. What do you mean? She goes, well, you got, and she points it second to last. I think the last guy may not have actually competed. Who was the fucking loser came in last? He probably didn't even skate. He just registered and got hurt. Who knows? Anyway, I remember that so vividly because I was just like, oh, I got a. I got to figure this out. But, but. Well, what's funny is that you're still the same person. That's, you're still that kid. Sure. Yeah. And I don't want to feel that disappointment. Yeah. But I accept it much more than I used to. And I can go on with my day. Yeah. I mean, I know people that are like very obsessed. Somebody I know was like obsessed with being number one. And I sent him a trophy for ninth place. Like here. You're still, you're in ninth place. You're still lovable. You're still good. But uses ninth. Like you don't have to finish first in everything. Right. Right. Yeah. Again, a lot of upside to that in terms of not accepting failure. That's how you get good is you're just. Bouncing back. Bouncing back. Yeah. Because I don't accept failure and then just go crawl in my hole. I'm like, I'm going to get better at that. Do you consider that negative at all? No. Only if it, if it detracts from. Yes. My, my, my family time. Or if it, if it becomes dangerous. And that's where, you know, that's the kind of the, the era that I'm living in now where like don't, don't obsess on some move that could take you out if it goes bad. Yeah. And, you know, those, those are the heavy conversations I have with my wife these days for sure. Every day? No, no, no. But every once in a while, something will come up and like, why do you have to go do that? What, you know. You know what you should do. Why? I'm not, I'm not good at that anymore. So you're going to play golf. You should get a set of golf clubs. What's that? I'm going to play golf, get some golf clubs. Oh yeah, right. Yeah. And then be like, we want to golf, honey. And then why are you bringing elbow pads? Whatever. This is weird. This course is weird. Just, yeah, people, people have foul balls. Yeah. It's like people, it's not called foul balls. It's errant shots. You're going to need to get up to, up to date. Are you golfing? I used to. Not anymore. It's too boring. I'll leave it to Nate Borgazzi and Santina. It sounds like you've found some balance in life. Yeah. It's like, much later than I should have, but yes. My self-worth, ultimately, is too tied to my career and what I'm doing. My worth as a human being is too based on how I perceive myself as being at my job. I don't have that like, it don't matter. I'm like, if I, that's what was hard when I would do stand-up all the time. If you have a bad set, you feel bad about yourself until the next, yeah. The bad day fucking sucks, doesn't it? It's the same with like acting. If I have a day on set where I don't think I was at my best, that like really, really, really makes me feel like shit. I feel like I'm not like a worthy person. Too much of my worth is not inherent. Too much of my worth comes from how I think I'm doing. Totally agreed that I'm in the same boat. You both realize like too much tied up in this and are we fucking ourselves long-term? I think we are. I don't know if you're born with it or it's, you learn it. I know I've been like this since I can remember. Like with studies, I was a big nerd. I wasn't, you know, good at sports or cool or... Good title for a special big nerd. Yeah. Hooked out. Then I hooked out. But I really, really cared. Big nerd. Yeah, that's the next one. Really studies. You know, I wanted to be first in class. Yeah. Because in Pakistan, you got to rank it. So like first to each class was like 42 kids. First to 42. The bottom 10 get slaughtered. Correct? In front of the school? Yeah, but I think it's called the culling. And it, you know, it's what's propelled us to global success. Fantastic. Yeah. And for years I didn't, I came in second and that like really, really bothered me and bugged me in knowing that... You came in second. You came in second in school? For many years and then the guy left to go to another school. Then I came in first, but it was a little bit empty. You know, it's like Michael Jordan. But I knew that that guy was very smart. And I knew I was smart, but I was like, I have to work harder than he does. But that's okay. I'm never afraid of hard work. I do think we're setting ourselves up for ultimate failure because another, you know, I think I put this block there is divorcing my experience of doing something from the results. So, you know, we did the big sake. We had a great time doing it. It was hard, but it was a great time. And then it was successful. Great. I've done stuff where I've worked just as hard as I did on the big sake and it has not been successful. And then it's tainted my experience. It's made me feel stupid for having a good time doing this thing and working so hard at this thing that... And thinking it was going to be good. Thinking it was going to be good. Like, this is going to crush. That's the fucking feeling I hate, you know, which later, but you have to do that. There's no... It's very, very hard to make a movie because it is a lot of work. 14-hour days, day after day after day. There are harder jobs. I'm not saying there aren't. I mean, but... And it's emotionally taxing. You have to think that what you're making is great because I've also made stuff that I knew wasn't great and that's a worse experience. What I want to do is do what I do because, you know, big sake we got to control, but a lot of this stuff, you don't really get to control how it's going to come out. Enjoy that experience for what it is. Learn from it. Be proud of myself for doing well or working or whatever it is. And then throw it away and forget it. And if it does well, great. If it doesn't, it shouldn't really affect me. It shouldn't affect my memory of the experience. Like, recently, you know, this is going to sound like a brag, but something I talked to my therapist about. I've been talking to my therapist about... You're a therapist? That is brag. Go ahead. No, the brag's coming up. I, with my therapist, trying to get out of the thing of having too much of how I think about myself being based on the result. We're working with the therapist on it a lot and then I just got nominated for an Emmy. Great. Thank you. But it felt so good. For what? I did the show called Welcome to Chippendales that came out last year. Oh, right, right. All right, great. I was thrilled. We did not expect it. You know, all four of the main actors got nominated, the costume person did. Gotta shout these people out. They're all wonderful. But it felt good to an alarming degree where I was like, oh, I am still in this and this is a trap. Like, I was sort of like replaying in my head how it felt in the first... I would like follow myself scrolling back and looking at the text of when I found out, you know, all this stuff, reliving conversations I had and looking up the list over and over and I was like, this is too... This feels too important. It's good to be like great, but move on. But the amount that it made me feel good about myself also scared me. And it's embarrassing. It's so embarrassing. Yeah. To like give a shit about this to the degree that I do. I was like, oh, this is a trap. The flip side of this is still gonna crush me. I still have a lot of work to do. And it's embarrassing. Yeah.