 We are live. Thank you everyone for your patience today. I am absolutely so excited. You guys have seen all the different stuff we do and if you want to find more videos and all kinds of great stuff, the content's all free. You can go to my blog at jillcarnihan.com. All free literally 10 years, a decade of content there on health, functionalness, and how to reverse chronic illness. You know what I talk about? Mold and Lyme and chronic illness and inflammatory bowel disease. So go there, find free content. Today is really special to me because this is like an old soul friend who I just met, but we've been we've known each other hundreds of years I think. So I am super, super excited today to introduce Spencer Barnes from LA and we'll tell you in just a minute how we met and I will let him tell you a little bit about his story. You can find all the old recordings either here on Facebook or on the YouTube channel under my name jillcarnihan.com and like I said today is just a little different because instead of a doctor, which sometimes we have experts and honestly sometimes they get a little boring, right? Today will not be boring. I promise you because I've got my stylist from LA and he is amazing human being. He's a soul friend. He's one of those people you just instantly connect to and know and we'll tell just a little bit about how we met. But I am just absolutely delighted to be here with you Spencer. Thank you for taking the time to join me. Of course. The second you asked I was like absolutely. You know Dr. Jill and I met yes working on a shoot. We're doing some promo work to get ready for her documentary which I cannot wait for by the way. I'm so happy you're doing this. I'm so happy you're having conversations that allow people to explore and open up new avenues for total health and wellness. So thank you for all that you do and if you don't know Dr. Jill she's got like a waiting list for years. She's incredibly difficult to get into. So I feel lucky just to have sat with her and worked with her for a few days. Yes we instantly connected and had a bomb that was it was kind of crazy. You were like talking and then we were like we have the same language. I'll tell you what I went there and this is my impression. So I'm just a farm girl from Illinois and then somehow I went to medical school to pursue my dream. I've always been a healer so that's the thing and honestly here you are and you're a stylist in LA. You work with some of the most famous people in the world. I mean you really I felt like who in the world am I to be going out to LA to work with this amazing group that Charlie our producer put together. I felt like completely out of my league and what happened is not only did you make me feel at home and make me feel welcome but you kind of validated because what we're talking about today what we're going to go into is the inner beauty and the things that bring about the shine and the joy and the things it doesn't take. Makeup's amazing and you are the best in the world I think at making like you made me look beautiful on the shoot but the neat thing that we both understand and have in common and want to share with listeners today is just you don't have to have perfect skin or perfect hair perfect makeup. The true beauty that people are drawn to like a magnet is your soul and when you go and you try to and what happens is so many of us we show up with a mask right or we feel like we're not enough. I have had over 40 years of learning that I am enough and that whole old message around not being enough once I've said that right because we all have I'm not unique but when we have that we have to feel like we have to show up as something that we're not and people can see it sense that so even if they're like something's not right about this person and so what we want to talk about today and I want to hear from your perspective about all the different types of people you've worked with we won't name any names but I want to compare in contrast how does authentic beauty show up and my take on it is just the more we get our personality aligned with our soul so our soul's purpose mine I know my sole purpose is to love people it's so simple and I don't know if I can show up and and do my best in that day or that moment or that hour to just love my patients my friends my family the people in my life my soul and my personality are aligned in that on an energetic level comes through loud and clear to the people I'm talking to as not only authenticity but beauty because we love to see someone who's aligned with their soul and personality right so I'd love to hear again you've worked with some absolutely I felt like I was so out of my league but what happened in LA was magic wasn't that weekend just spectacular it was spectacular out in LA we just had like one thing after the next it it was three days together and it went by in like a flash because we were so every moment was just filled with so much magic and connection and and those are the times where you know okay this was definitely I felt like how did this come together with this incredible team uh it was truly orchestrated uh it felt like I helped from the other side I don't know but it was I did not agree more and you know from my perspective you guys have never seen the like you saw me there and I felt like I was able to show authentically but I've been on a journey as we all have been and those of you listening if you're in the middle of a journey you're struggling just let me encourage you we're all on a journey and the thing that has for me there Spencer was I'm kind of a control freak so like what I wear and the things I need to buy my food and my water and everything and what I got to do there for the first time in such a big way was I got to go there and let go of all control like everybody I would walk in the closet say what do I wear now you know and that's not me because I'm a planner and like had it so letting go of all control and just letting all of you on the team guide me and then even more than that like I was silly and playful we climbed into things that said do not you were it was so fun I felt like I was literally back and like the only the thing that comes by is elementary school when you're so young that your free spirit and whatever you do with you know your friends you just like go there and you're a hundred percent there and it was like that with you and I love unlocking that kind of magic I just want to start by saying two things so with what you're saying yes we are I think we can all agree this planet is undergoing something major yeah we have through this global experience that that came into to being just last year really last year facing things none of us have ever faced individually or collectively before and that's powerful so this great shift whatever the outcome may be for each of us individually is something we're all going through so what an opportunity to transform and transcend and shift into what I hope is a much better version of reality a much better new birth and so this is part of what I feel like I'm here to do for myself and for others a little bit about my background I also grew up in a small town in exotic Provo Utah it's kind of known Provo is known as happy valley I'm third of seven children we had a big family and it was a great place to grow up lots of nature and outdoors we were very active I was also very involved in art and music and acting and fitness outdoors music sports acting it was it was a pretty full life between the age of eight and 23 I was in over a hundred productions including some television and film productions and commercials that came through Utah and lots of stage shows and all kinds so that was sort of my background when I was young I just have to say I remember thinking the world was a little off as soon as I came into I was like this feels sort of like not like home but it's home okay I can accept that um and I kind of began a quest I thought I wonder if I could somehow make the world and people in my environments more beautiful that maybe life would be more beautiful and so I think you said your mission is to love people minus is related in that it's to help people remember who they truly are by beholding them by seeing them not not the exterior masks that we all have not the filtered distorted lenses that we're quickly have put on us from the moment we're born by you know from the family patterns to the community things some of us may have religious backgrounds are educational whether it's a certain country or place we grew up in all of these contributing to the filters that are put on us that distort our lens on reality which becomes the tool we deal with for self-development so for me I when I was 22 I thought I think I thought I was invincible you know everything I set out to I was able to accomplish I had endless energy I could work long hours on a project and when I was about 20 almost 21 20 like right before I turned 21 I started to develop actually no almost 22 I started developing a lot of problems with my intestinal tract which I never had any health issues I was very healthy and I just started bleeding a lot like first it started is like diarrhea that didn't go away and then I noticed I was like whoa that's like nothing but red what's going on I must eat something and I thought no there's nothing I ate that could have done that and I watched it it was constantly it was blood yeah so I was a little concerned I thought it would go away and it didn't so I called my mom and I was like what's going on this is if you ever seen this and she was like whoa how long has that been going on so after a couple weeks it was getting really intense like yeah I think I was in the bathroom 30 40 50 times a day yeah and it was just this intense cramping pain and it was getting to the point where I couldn't function I didn't dare to leave the house because I might just suddenly have to run to the toilet so I said I'm like I think we need to go to the doctor and so we called and found a specialist and they had a long waiting list and I said no I think we need to get him sooner so they pushed us forward and he did a scope and through that he discovered that indeed I had he diagnosed me with full sort of colitis and I thought okay well great give me the pill let's let's get it handled and get back to life you know and he didn't he looked at me with kind of a look that oh I don't think you realize what this means yet this is going to be a bit of a journey is what I gather quickly and when I looked over and my mom was crying I was like I don't have cancer I'm not dying like you know but it was pretty serious and and I thought well maybe this is just going to be something that comes goes but it didn't it was something that I would get very ill and then I would slowly get my energy back after what sort of the flare up would go back into remission and you know I tried a lot of things I started doing research I'm a researcher I love science and actually I was in school I was studying to be a cosmetic surgeon but this is what happened when I when I got really sick I was not able to I had to eventually drop out of school and handle my gut health issues and have some surgeries because it was so aggressive I was I had lost I think 40 pounds in that period of time and it was it was debilitating it was really debilitating I remember feeling isolated and it was hard for even some of my family members to relate to because they you know they didn't know and it's it's a kind of thing that it becomes a very internal world illness because you live with it in solidarity and it does affect your your your state of presence your ability to sort of confidently take on things because you're constantly you know if I went anywhere it was like I had to map out where the bathrooms were and know where I was going to be you know and it was was sometimes scary and I sometimes wasn't able to go places because of that so I just wanted my life back and Dr. Jill and I found that we had a similar story so I began trying to reach out to people this is pre you know Facebook pre where internet was just you know a simple tool to find some things but I started anything and everything holistic diet changes which helped a little bit I did change my eating a lot and that helped a little bit but it wasn't enough I tried all of the known drug remedies things like infliximab or you know they had been on prednisone a lot which had a lot awful side effects and I thought this cannot be the way this can't be like my future life to live this way where I'm just constantly yoyoing between barely getting along health to back into a full-blown attack and after about almost two years it was about a year and a half I said this this isn't going to work and I started talking to people who had done a more drastic move but I felt like this was what I needed to do and I was fortunate to meet someone who had had he was actually my age maybe a little younger who had had the surgery that I was considering it's called a j-pouch ileoanal surgery so it's a pretty major surgery they took out my entire large intestine and used the end of my small intestine to create basically a fake colon you know small j shaped colon and attach it to my rectal stump so that I would be able to have full bowel control and you know a normal life without having to wear external pouch right you know I didn't want to last me bad really asked me back the rest of my life if possible so I found the best surgeon he's actually a doctor who happened to be at my home state the University of Utah that created this surgical technique and so he did my surgery and I was on the table for about 12 and a half hours oh unbelievable oh yeah he said it was it was it was an intense surgery and I remember actually in recovery I did I didn't realize that I almost could have died you know I was really sicker than I even realized and there's so many I don't you know we don't have time to go into all the details but there were so many things that I look back now and was grateful to have some like a friend who'd had a liver transplant who intuitively knew that this was a pretty major thing even my family was just like in shock a little bit because they didn't know quite what to expect and I'm so glad that that doctor was able to help me get into full recovery it took about six months and then I really was starting to feel like myself again how many years ago was this I'm 44 so it was literally half my life ago oh my gosh we're like the same age too I'm 45 amazing I can't believe all that you've accomplished in your your life it's amazing well you too so go back and then we have all the time in the world so you're still so you had liver transplant that was actually kind of you're right you know what you just hit on something so key and I think to the people listening to um that isolation I just talked yesterday to two patients with the documentary and both of them had this story about chronic severe illness like you and I have had and there was this isolation feeling like I talk about mask right you you can there's a few inner circle people that really know your full story and the extent of your suffering but the general person when they say how are you doing they don't want to know you're losing your colon right and you're like having to run to the restroom every 20 minutes and again I had Crohn's disease very very similar and initially it was diagnosed as ulcerative colitis as well so oh yeah see it's like this they later changed the diagnosis yes yes so what you're saying though is so relevant to the people listening and that isolation when we have chronic illness and feeling like like people don't really get it right and you look okay on the outside I mean granted you probably lost weight like I did but generally you look okay so for people to see you they're like well you look fine right yeah yeah and you know and I was young I was so young my colleagues were were doing all the things and I was like I can't go I was pulling back and everyone was just like okay I guess you're sick you know yeah so um fortunately I did get back to health but I still was a little baffled like why did I get what happened that caused this why did I get this you know and they said well it's probably you know pre predispositions through genetics but I know both sides of my family no one that I knew of had any serious issues though I discovered a uncle who had a short brief bout with what seemed to be some sort of a bowel issue but other than that it was it was not present so I was still still wondered what really this was all about and later in life I had some experiences that were sort of unusual I was introduced to some intuitives through my agents and back when I was acting a lot she's I really want you to meet this guy I feel like or this woman I feel like she can help you and uh it was totally unrelated to this but this intuitive mention just off the cuff this is the first time I met this person I was actually 18 so before this she said in her reign she said in a past life you had died in this tragic it was more tragic it was maybe related to either a family member or someone who was close to the family but you were stabbed in the stomach and that's where she left it and I thought past life I don't even know if I believe in that you know I'm just trying to get through this life and so it didn't really resonate I shelved it and forgot about it to be honest but then this same agent when I was 24 almost 25 she's like I have someone else I want you this was a different intuitive and my agent was also getting into healing a lot and since then has switched her career to a lot of really cool healing modalities but this intuitive said a similar thing but went into more detail and I thought wait no no no I heard this before but it still didn't quite click until I was 35 which was years later when I crossed paths with someone by you think by total chance it was the last five minutes of the last day at a huge music festival here in California called Coachella and I met someone that as soon as we met I'll never forget it was like an electromagnetic energy vortex was open and I knew that I knew this person instantly and from that point forward I began to it was it was I can't go into the whole story but I began to understand that we had a past life connection and we ended up meeting he was actually he is from Iceland that's where he lives to this day so it was very unusual for us to meet at a place like this but we developed a powerful friendship and connection inside each other in different places in the world the next year ahead and it was after we had kind of this karmic wound reopening that I was able to begin to really deeply heal and understand on a soul level why this illness came through in this life and what there was for me to heal in the sacred wound area of my body you know the gut area and so through that not only did I open things that I never would have imagined would be possible to open but I also not only healed things that I didn't even know need to be healed I pulled through all kinds of gifts that to this day have served me and allowed me to help other people through their journeys you experienced firsthand not a lot of people know but I'm kind of a closet psychic medium that's getting harder for me to hide because it's getting a lot stronger and clearer and I work with a lot of people though I don't do really you know I'm not going to open shop and do readings that's not really my purpose whenever things come through that feel guided I just offer it up and if the person's in a place to receive that's usually a sign that they're on that same frequency I share what I can and it's been amazing to see what's what's possible to pull through with that gift and that's part of the healing that I bring through the work I do as a makeup artist you know I work with yes image the external shell but there's this intrinsic connection with our internal self and our external self and if we can help marry the two and clear the illusions it's amazing to see how the authentic light of a person can be unleashed and unlocked by by bringing that to the forefront and clearing away that which is not self so that's something that I really think is why I've had a huge success that I never anticipated really being a makeup artist I mean even that's the story it just sort of happened it happened really quickly because this is so bad because here you were a cosmetic sort you know going to kind of this this pathway and there was this shift and then here you are but when I see you like I knew the moment I met you you're a healer and we don't have to be in the medical profession to be healers and it's funny because I went into medicine not knowing I was a healer but clearly I mean and what you what you touched on is so important with both of us in totally different professions I feel like I would uh I'm a scientist at heart and I learned all the science in medical school and you like that too right like that's a piece of the foundation the study like you said why did this happen you wanted to learn and research and I've done that all my life but what I found is a lot of times now that the real truth and magic comes from listening to that intuitive voice which comes from experience and for you too it's like seeing that person for who they are giving them holding space for them to just show up and be authentically them and so often we go into spaces where there's judgment there's fear there's threat there's control and what you did for me and all of the team and then hopefully what I'm doing in the office for patients is creating a space that is free of threat or control or judgment or fear and just purely love and allowing that space for them to show up authentically without any fear or or thing that keeps them from being themselves because when they come and they share you know deeply of their story and I can listen and hold space often because of experience and because of the science background I can really listen and hear things that maybe nobody else has heard and make conclusions and solve mysteries that no one has ever solved because that intuition comes in and what I learned is that that um so I was thinking like left brain is like an old computer and that's like science you can make checklist you can put hundreds of pieces of data together in your analytical mind but when we look at the right brain the creative the experiential the intuitive what you can literally subconsciously process millions of pieces of data in an instant and I can often have the diagnosis on that level before I ever prove it with science because I'm just listening to my heart and my soul and sensing where to go and then I still prove it with the labs in the science so I'm a good scientist but what you're saying is a similar thing you're looking at a person you're holding space for that person in front of you and you're actually creating you do this for me because as soon as I got in your chair I was like oh I like this guy and he sees me like I could I could cry because there's so few people in the world that create that space for you to be seen and you do that and that's magic and that's a gift of healing that you offer to the people who sit in your chair you know thank you a and and I too have learned that by beholding someone which is seeing them without any judgment which is a part of unconditional love and that's hard to always do there's things when we get put into our our states are lower and we're in stress or if we feel judgment often we get defensive and our defense systems go up so when we're doing the work we do it is so important for me to create an environment where there's trust and trust brings that ability for intimacy to happen and that's when authenticity rises up and things that need to be cleared if there are things that are holding us back from career authenticity come up and then we can arm people with the courage to become everything that they are really truly meant to be and so like you through your work it's they're very different but they're related you know and I know that a lot of the girls and guys too I primarily work with women but I've worked with lots of men they all are there's some you know we all have a purpose we all the sole purpose and sometimes people are meant to work within their communities or family lines or within a specific profession where there's others you know maybe they bring incredible inventions and new knowledge into the earth to help build the foundation and blueprint of a new reality while others you know through their healing work help support those that are meant to become public messengers those who are meant to be in the limelight and and influence a lot of people as archetypes maybe through the roles they play as actors or as creators and artists that speak on a number of things so I realized quickly that this is the work that I'm doing with my girls and if I can help them align with that I call that the magic zone we can align with our authenticity we're freer we're more like we require less energy to create more magic we're brighter and I know you've seen this work someone can walk into a room that's that's ignited with their true light they are like a magnet a lighthouse they beam and people are inexplicably drawn to them or those that are at least on that same frequency are drawn to connect with them and it's pretty effortless and so I think anything we can do to first ourselves get into that space and then to help bring that to others it sends ripples in every direction and the world does become a better place life is more beautiful yes I love it and again what you're doing I just talked to a friend and she had done some work with me in healing and and I was telling her she's a natural path and so she's just amazing I literally just got back from that appointment a couple hours ago and I was telling her you know I was in tears and I'm like you know my friend what you don't realize is I mean here I am making a documentary and I think that people will see it and will make an impact in the world and I'll tell that brief story in just a second because I think it's related to your authenticity but what I told her is every person like you in my life who supported me and helped me in my healing journey and seen me and then encouraged me or brought truth into my life I realize I'm we're all standing on the shoulders of those around us who are lifting us up and helping us to heal and I'm just like so grateful every day because I know that the journey I'm on right now is only because the people who love me and have poured into my life and my healing and even you in the time in LA like you were one of those healers for me because here I show up in the world a lot as a healer but then I feel like God puts in my life all of these other people around me that lift me up and I know I could never do what I do without all this you know crowd of people that is helping me and my little story you mentioned the documentary I haven't really talked a lot publicly there's little glimpses but if you're listening now I'm going to tell you real briefly the story I told Spencer because it has to do with authenticity I had a lot of learning to do last year and I got out of several very difficult relationships but the biggest lesson that came out of that that just like you said our souls need these lessons and so I feel like the divine often brings illness or suffering or difficult relationships because it's teaching and if we can embrace those as like teachers like I've had some really bad relationships and they were all teachers and they brought me to a place where I realized number one I'm worthy of love and um and number two I can trust my soul and intuition because even in the midst of difficult relationships my soul my intuition always knew there's something not right here but I didn't trust myself and um so then I got through that I really started to believe in the value that God has given me and then also trust my journey and trust my intuition and everything shifted from there Spencer January 1st I woke up and I had this idea you know since COVID hit people are more on screens than ever before and I'm writing a book but what if I could be on a screen and teach what I want to teach about healing and reach more people than the book and I just literally had the idea within seven days I had a producer a director executive assistant like they just came together and I was like that is what's meant to happen and even I you hadn't told me yet and I was like when we were together I was like what I see why do I see you having a it's like a show like it's like a talk show but it's like you know and then I say and I feel that you're making a some type of a film and you're like I have the way you're like yes yes I'm like there you go I know like that's what I mean like you just saw me and saw and then so then and then of course you need a large budget I won't say the number but it's a lot of money we had the producer put together and I don't you guys I'm a doctor I don't have a clue about filmmaking but I have this intuition and so and I followed it and what I did before I even started again this is a divine thing I created a production company like I was like okay I'll just move forward and then what happened in the next few months is we had a budget and I just trusted I had this sense of like I don't know where this money's coming from to make the film but I know that if it's supposed to happen it will so it was this weird thing of like wow this is crazy but also just the assuredness that if I'm on the right path that will come well just in May we got the full funding from a single investor for the movie and we were filming like last two days we've been full fledged filming with a full crew and the beautiful thing is I was telling the crew the other day because I always start with kind of a devotional breathing and just getting centered and I was telling them both days you know guys the magic is in the moment which means right now today with people who come in and this crew right here the magic is in our experience today I mean it's great if we make a film and I think we will and it'll be amazing but let's just live in it was it was big moments in a small frame the song that I shared with them and it was about the magic happens like with you and I in LA in the whole team the magic happened that weekend and we created some great shots that captured it but to me it's like I really want to live in that moment because it's about like what if the crew gets touched in some way or gets changed that matters to me not the production not the final thing I'm sitting in front of today and so I really was trying to bring it home about let's live today in this moment and see what magic that happens and it's been absolutely amazing so long story short this idea became reality and I am filming a documentary and I don't even know what I'm doing but I'm trusting and it's happening wow you know update for you Abe that was that really was you know to me a powerful story and and also I just want to say that time together we shared because we were able to connect in such a real and now way the energy that we all experienced on that and the things that we pulled through during that three days together it's still with me and affecting me and sending ripples in every direction of my life believe it or not and that's the power of being connected and present in the now especially when we're connected to our true authentic self we bring a different light and energy and are also able to receive a different light and energy from those we're interacting with so here's an update for you yes I was just mesmerized listening to the magic of your story it was one of those things where you you had this thing you created in your mind you knew from your production team what it would take to do this and you sent it out and ask the universe if this meant to be let's let me get the support and within a short period of time you got not just from you know a team of investors one person who believes in what you're doing so much that he was willing to put the full amount forward and become a partner in this project well since we last spoke I had the same exact thing happen just two weeks ago oh I love it for the exact same number that you had come up with it's like hard to believe it's like is this really happening and it's really happening I'm pouring into something I've been wanting to do my whole life that will take me in a new direction something I've been dabbling in for several years yes but uh as as it gets closer I'll be talking more about it but I'll get you it has to do with music which is something that we connected with yes connected on immediately like when we were getting ready and I love having music on in the background it's a great way to vibrationally just bring a certain frequency or current and her music Dr. Jills means this is my game song for for me this is the vibe for the day and every time I was like oh I love this and she's aming this and you know I tend to be someone who listens to a lot of music and I love great music of all kinds and she had this particular frequency of electronic music that's in the sort of like a border lines on uh high frequency in our world like it when I was listening it got my inner world tuned into a certain place but it also related to the outer world you know there's most people when they think of electronic music they think of club music or festival music but this was like a combination it was like anthemic but it was also very personalized I loved it so that's another area we clicked on right away um but you said something you said something about you are now recognizing that you're worthy of love yeah I want to say even taking a step further that you are love and love flows through you because you've connected within to that divine awareness that worthiness is something we're taught many of us from the minute we're born is that a love is is a commodity that's in rare supply yeah that you know imagine Disney and that someday my prince will come concept that love is going to come from one person eventually you know when we when we're ready to launch from our families and that it's going to be hard to find and uh if we find it at all and you know and I thought how how much has that cheated us out of realizing that love is something that we can first develop and hold and discover within as an energy of frequency of life it is the life force and that it can come in so many forms everywhere we go every single minute of every day there was so much love on that shoot together it was like this this buffet of all kinds of love magic because those are the people that you attracted and brought together for this very important shoot so um one of the things that I've discovered that's that's helped me to live more authentically is is clearing away anything that a blocks me you know you have this incredible body but you've probably seen you know as you dealt you know science and the medical field doesn't really teach about this you know they teach very little not only about nutrition but they don't really get into the shall we say uh you know there it's very the physical laws of science they don't get into the metaphysical or the quantum kinds of things that are now showing up all over more than ever as as the fabric of all life that can more rapidly than anything change our reality as we know it so um as we get out of externalizing worth by our accomplishments by our materialistic things but uh you know our relationships and we go inside and we cultivate an alignment within we we begin to realize that the connection it's an intrinsic worth thing and we begin to realize we all have it's part of our divine inheritance we have from the one creator the ability to have and express that from within and the minute we stop transactionalizing outside of us a huge shift happens oh that's you you I love this because again we're so aligned because that's exactly what I experienced before I could manifest the documentary and all that I had to go through that transformation because I don't mean for external validation through I call it bad boyfriends just not relationships and really emotional beauty I mean there were some really not good things there but it was I was stuck in I'm not valued like I didn't have any value for myself so I just recreated usually when that happens we're just recreating a belief in ourselves and mirroring it from the outside yeah something you said that I think is so valuable for people to hear because it's not unique to me but I was getting my validity and my love from achievement and I'm recovering perfectionistic you know whatever but I literally all my life was like achieving achieving trying to get the good grades trying to be valedictorian be a doc all these things and all of that I had learned um and I just taken it on I don't think my parents were amazing they gave me intrinsic value but I think I somehow thought that I wasn't valuable unless I was producing or achieving so I spent 40 years producing achieving and it was never enough right like I was a doctor and I got through medical school and I was valid like these things actually happened but none of those were enough to satisfy that longing in our soul for true love and the love comes from the divine and from our belief that we are valuable and so now I just feel like I'm a conduit for and again some of you hearing this may be like oh this is woo woo it's not some of the best science is founded in the power of love to heal and I'm not afraid anymore to speak about that because the truth is that's really where the power lies yes it is a total mind heart body spirit you know through our thoughts our emotional system through our connection to spirit because we are energetically first spirit and then to uh the physical vehicle which really matt is it's like uh what shows up in our our physical field is a manifestation of what has gone on way before uh in our thoughts and emotions which affects everything it really does course there's a guy right like that was because yeah I'd unhealed parts of ourselves that we had to deal with and now that there isn't real physical things that we need surgery or medications or herbs or whatever because I do that too yeah usually when we get to yeah usually when we get to that point of disease it's like we're way past that we can't just quickly do a few little things it's like it's like showing up as a 911 this needs to be addressed and so yeah we we need great doctors and and experts and science to help us when I guess that point but then learning how to do more preventative health through nutritional and many other things and that's what I noticed on our shoot you had so many things you were doing that was like I love it when I'm around people that get it and they're like the foods you brought to set the oh yeah my fridge right like it well that was just stuff I do at home but we actually took photos of it because it was like uh mineral water and fruits and vegetables uh all organic foods and then you got super foods and supplemental things that I was like I've been looking for something like this and uh one thing I want to share I think I gave you guys a b12 shot oh yeah that was like I'm like I need this every week yes please uh you were just like a wealth of health and wellness and it was so fun to be in that zone so one one other thing I want to share that Dr Jill introduced to me and all of us there at the shoot and I'm going to share with all of you on my on my page to a code a special code so that you can have access to this it is something that I first saw my first experience at the beginning of my what I now know is a spiritual awakening several years ago when I met with the first healer which I thought was that was like actually for me seven years ago was a big thing I was like healer wow okay well I have tried everything else let me let me just go because a friend actually it's this oh I just wrote the same friend that is now helping me who who's jumping around this project oh my gosh it's great it was a big hairstylist and now he's doing so many other things oh that's a story I'll have to tell you about he is the one who recommended me he said he went to this healer and I came through in this energetic I was like she is psyche he said no she's a healer but you were like came up in my psyche during this and she she changed my life the direction of my life so I went to her and and just to bring this back to the point of why I brought it up was she had this healing mat she called it which was like a they looked it was the size of a massage table you know big like a yoga mat size and it had inside of it if there were these channels filled with crystals like amethyst crystal and she said that it brings a different frequency into it and explained it a little bit was it necessary to go into great detail and I had just started discovering and tuning into some of that I didn't know a lot about it but I was like well let's try this and and so she took me into this first we did a big interview she took me into this meditative space though she introduced me to something else I never really spent a lot of time with it's called binaural beats and yes you were talking about describe those to people for limbic activation because it takes the body so yes love love love bironal beats so if you guys don't know what binaural beats are they're basically different frequency channels or brain wavelengths and it's used to help you entrain or become familiar with and and then calibrate your ability to flip into different wavelengths and each of those wavelengths those frequency channels you're able to perceive and tune into different information that's where everything our whole universe is frequency and so through this you know our alert state we're talking about the left brain almost everything about this reality programs is to be very tied to the dense 3d physical frequencies which are the analytical problem solving you know get up and go make life happen kind of energy but that's really just a very it's actually the highest frequency it's it's our survival frequency and a few of us give ourselves the time we need because of the way the world's been set up to dive into some of these other zones you know some of us are familiar with meditation or prayer or um there's i met people who have what they call it like psychic dreams or intuitive dreams that you know they get information from through dreams but um when i was sitting with her we did this this thing and it was the first time this never happened while i was on the mat and i was like is it the pat or was it the binaural beats or both i don't know but it works she took me into this deep meditative space and i was just completely kind of gone into this space and it was the first time i never had a download of i started hearing music like music it was like hearing it on the radio and it was like a code was cracked and i didn't get a lot of other messages from that i thought i would get messages about you know healing and health there were some things we talked about but that was the most important thing that i got from that and i didn't realize the significance of it then it was sort of an anomaly and i thought that was strange i was like hearing music and of course that started my foray but shortly after that i went back to school to study electronic production techniques as a child i was a classical violinist and for a while my minor was music composition but i ended up switching to film producing and directing and that's what i graduated with but years later now i know that that's something that i've always wanted to do and now i know what i want to do with it and i've developed a regular connection to that ability to tap into something outside of myself and pull it into myself and translate that and that's how i make music i channel it i guess it's the word but this brainwave and training has brought many other avenues that have been opened up to me it's also how i began to develop a regular connection to the non-physical world the intuitive world where there's all kinds of information and messages that we can tap into and i've had profound things come through and meeting people like you who also you know i call it scuba diving in the non-physical you you pop through to that quantum field and you begin to understand that we actually create and determine our reality reality shows up around us based on how we think we are how we see we are the lens we see the world and our experiencing life through is a direct reflection of where we are energetically yeah and you know a lot of people might say they came to you let's say they came to you and they discover they have cancer there was this doctor who used to famously tell her patients when they would get a diagnosis she would ask them why did you need this cancer you know and they were like what shot the person i want cancer you know but through their journey to healing or their surrender to what is meant to be for them they always found out profound things and were able to heal things that were waiting upon just that physical thing and they always came back and and said thank you for saying that at the beginning it didn't it rubbed me the wrong way at first but now i know that through this illness i gained profound insights and i was able to heal things i didn't even know needed to be healed and my life is richer now and clearer and brighter and you know so it takes me to that beautiful statement the wound is where the light enters in yes yes and you and i have this journey because and for sure for me i finally accepted i'm i'm the god's guinea pig as far as he gives me these canned crowns disease mold but what happened is every one of those they were really difficult i've suffered a lot but but they were the best and i would never be the healer that i am without those experiences because on so many levels auto immunity cancer chronic environmental toxicity i have been there i have and what i did is i did the work around how do i heal and figure it out at a deep level and i don't always have all the answers but a lot of things i could never ever find in a textbook and they come from this experiential like journey of figuring it out to heal myself so that now i can help hundreds or thousands of people with journeys so i interrupted you on the mat because this is an awesome segue but going back thanks for bringing back to that i know we have like we could do volume i know different things if you dive into which is so fun that always i love it when i meet people where it's like this so the healing mat i had an experience with that and i and i actually years later i went to this biohacking conference that this incredible speaker she used to be a host on extra and access hollywood michelle soro she has a very successful podcast she asked me to be her first podcast interview two years ago because she met me when i was at qvc doing training for going on their show so um we became we had a similar thing where we connected instantly and we discovered we had both been to tony robbins uh date with destiny and it was transformative for both of us and um so she took me to this biohacking conference where she was hosting and the guy that like i'm gonna mess up his name if you know it you might know it but he's kind of the one who he's he's a doctor i think that brought this biohacking conference uh he has a coffee line and a lot of other products oh yeah dave asprey that's the one dave asprey so he um with this has let you can you go to these all these speakers and the conferences all weekend three weekend but then there's like a form where you can go and find out about all the latest technologies devices nutritional uh things health things that are kind of connected to someone say the pseudo science the pseudo health field but it seems to be the emerging thing for us is that there's a lot we can do with light sound and frequency technology to heal and transform our lives so one of the things he had there was i saw they had this mat that was was loaded with amethyst yeah tourmaline and charcoal and i was it was it was quite expensive you know at the time it was more than you can get through for now but i really wanted one because i had experienced firsthand what it did for me in just one session so here's dr jill in malibu she's like by the way have you had a chance to lay on the mat and i was like i want to do that absolutely and she told me this has you know some different things that are the latest technology it has ionization so it can eliminate the is it the free radicals of the yeah so it has their names and i always just tell people it's like if you're walking barefoot on the beach or after rain those are negative ions in the air after some energetic shift in the weather and we feel refreshed if we go out after the rain or walking on the beach that's just negative ions in our environment it naturally happens but then we can create it on the mat it's funny because if you guys wonder i'm going to show you right down there my dogs are sleeping on it but i have the mat right they even know that they even know my 16 year old he's like 98 in human years and that white one that you saw there he is 16 years old and he is hopping around he sits on that mat every day he loves it and they do they you saw it i didn't plan that like we like the map mom so it's ionizing it has infrared technology which does a number of things yeah and that does the infrared goes some more to a cellular level and helps with detoxification so as the negative ions infrared and then the big thing is the pulse the electromagnetic frequency the pmf and just like you Spencer i knew i mean i'll just give a number of my friend had one that cost 20 000 dollars and i was like oh my gosh this is so unrealistic for most not accessible yeah no and even for me that's a lot of money so yeah for some people so this is yeah the ones that we i shared that trap i had just gotten the travel one from higher dose and i was like i'm going to take it to la and it was so fun to have because i literally use it every day i didn't want to be a day without it well since so jill was so gracious and this was just one of the many gifts that have come from knowing you this short time was so gracious and surprised me by sending me out a mat and i was like ready to find out when she she had a sale so i could buy one but thank you from the bottom of my heart so generous and i love it i use it every day my guy uses it we've had friends come over and i want to share with you guys about this mat so i'm going to put on my page with a code so that you can have access from dr jill another one of her many gifts to get your very own and it is literally now i do every day at least 10 to 20 minutes if i can sometimes longer sometimes here here i will take a nap with it on i know me too and you wake up feeling if you do or just from a meditation it it amplifies the state and the the readiness and the rapidness of aligning healing and being in peak state you know and when we're in peak state we perform better we get more done with less energy we attract more magical people in situations and it just has i can't even tell you the benefits um i didn't ask you to say this by the way either but thank you you're so kind like to i mean to share this with because it is people have heard me talk about i love it but it's literally i only align with things that i use and i love so there's no commercial here we just love it um but i i really know that it works because and even for you i was like oh if i can i felt like you and the photographer mike um mike ellen and the producer the three of you you just poured out your hearts for me that weekend and i was just like how in the world can i thank you for the gift that you gave me like you created magic for me and like i said i'm just this little farm girl from illinois who doesn't belong in la but i was like you made me feel special and you allowed my light to shine and you captured it in the photographs and i just it literally came from a place of how in the world could i possibly thank you and it's such a small thank you but it also it was just a like i wanted you to know how much it meant to me and so that's where it came from oh it's a treasure and it definitely is something that it's like one of the most useful gifts that i didn't know i needed right i knew i wanted it but i didn't know i needed it and would benefit so much and okay so you know as one of the things we were talking about was popping through and going into that quantum realm we talked about brain wave entrainment and meditation is really something i didn't know how to do and it was painful learning i couldn't even sit still for 30 seconds so i was trying to do like guided meditations and i just didn't really understand it until it clicked one day and i was like oh this is about learning how to switch frequency fields and the reason is because there's different information available in those fields you know going from alpha beta down to delta zeta gamma you know all these different brain waves and did your sleep get better too because my sleep was that was the biggest objective i have the oar ring so i can track it and like night and day i would sometimes get like 50 60 percent of the night of sleep in deep sleep and wake up after five and a half six hours of completely refreshed because i would be in all this deep refresh it's amazing like oh a hundred percent yeah you know sleeping and getting quality sleep the amount of time you spend in certain brain waves wave brain wave states will determine how you feel i remember a period of my life where i would i would sleep and couldn't get enough sleep and i would wake up exhausted and i had a lot of strange dreams and things were it was the energy i was off and i think i even was where i was living at that time was near a lot of dirty frequency yeah and it really affected me when i realized looking back that's exactly what it was um so it definitely affects us to agree and we now have you know technology around us all the time yeah with our smart devices our computers our phones our internet 5g there's all this frequency we're constantly bombarded with that does and will affect us if we don't take time and and learn ways to create shields and separation from it and how to change our diet and health to create balance of harmony and clear out the effects of some of these negative frequencies that can really begin to take a toll i used to sleep with my phone right by the bed yeah i can still be better because sometimes i do have it there but i'm trying to put it way across the room yeah not by me at least like airplane mode or something where you're not getting the the wi-fi and all of that yeah so well this is just been oh my gosh we're going to have to do it again because we got someone to talk about scratch the surface i know what kind of thing would you leave i didn't get a chance to hear a lot i mean you really see people and i see that and again you're working with some really high profile people and i love that you're this healer in a space where people wouldn't necessarily expect you to be healer but you are and what would you um say to leave like people again we've had lots of comments about well what if my outer beauty i have been you know disfigured by disease or i have illness where i um what would you like the core here has been inner beauty how do we really shine any that any bits of advice to give someone who's suffering from illness and feels like they're unattractive or what would you say to them i i have some key things that i can give people and share because i i felt disfigured or damaged in my life after i had that surgery i felt like harmony was taken out you know um there's other things we could talk about but i would say the the trap of perfectionism and idealism based on externalities is a way to become rapidly very unhappy and you know i noticed too like you know when you spend hours a day on social media and you're exposed to all of this external external you know it actually does have an effect on the psyche and and so i would say this um perfection isn't really perfection anyway there's really no no such thing as the perfect this or that because there's so many variations that can be perfectly uniquely expressed and there is there is also a satisfaction fulfillment that's what what we're looking for is not perfection because that's an externalized something a concept so with people i i ask them questions and i listen and when i'm guided to ask certain questions it isn't that that i need the answer so much is that well sometimes i do i need to listen and see what where they're at and what they're seeing because that tunes me into where they are but when i'm guided to ask certain questions as i know you have with patients you're also guiding them to begin to uncover and begin that excavation process of chiseling away all this exterior of the masks and the layers that really aren't us and by chiseling down to that masterpiece i think of michael angelo and like the day but you know some of the greek and roman sculptural elements that we we look back as the period of art to find uh you know this is ideal in many ways i think our souls are like that and we have the mission of excavating and bringing out our best light magic some of the most beautiful people i've ever met have had severe disabilities or limitations in this physical but sometimes those limitations actually activate superpower gifts that blow past any limitation one of my friends Amy pretty she's a a double amputee uh right right right but for me she had both her legs amputated um she like many powerful light workers have often have really challenging even life threatening illnesses or you're challenging things in their youth that cost them to grow up really rapidly she was one of those and went from total health to losing her legs in a very short time through a run-in with meningitis anyhow she's now a two-time winning paralympian athlete she lives life with two prosthetics she through her focus and will to move forward has helped that industry create all kinds of new new prosthetics and lays and attachments and for things for people to be able to do sports and have full active lives this girl is and she still had some challenges after that with her health she's come up against unbelievable challenges and against all that says risen to become she's spoke with Oprah on on her Superstall Sunday she's released books and had best sellers she was on Dancing with the Stars and that's where I met her actually because she was on that show and I was of course taking care of Julie and Huffy was one of the host of Judges so um you never know what can come through your greatest challenges and if you can become let that instead of hating that part of yourself we all have a shadow side too and that sometimes maybe not a physical you know ailment but excuse me if we can go into lean into the shadow yeah and learn to love that part of herself and bring that into the light that's when we will become the most beautiful oh I love love that yeah that's where we can we kind of wrap up because it's um I would say it's our imperfections that make us more lovable it's like the pieces the flaws the scars the it makes us more unique and lovable but so often those are the parts that we disown and when we start to embrace and love those parts of ourselves they really are they're the things like we don't want to see so often the little uniqueness is about our favorite verses or people on tv or whatever those are the things we love about them the little nuances right so yeah amazing stay tuned everybody you know I think if Spencer has a moment we are going to actually jump on instagram live so you can follow us there i'm going to stop this video feed shortly but find us um it's spencer barns la and mine is dr jill carney hand on instagram and we're going to just say a few words there shortly so we will see you all soon spencer thank you for joining me here today thanks to all of you and thank you for having me it's been such a pleasure knowing you the short time and here's the best is yet to come yes