 amazing guest she's beautiful she has so much warmth in her she goes by the name Joanne Wendwa Alex she's a foreign to an autistic child and she's going to share with us her experience and just Hanouli around this particular topic Kareem Ustana Jane not Joanne I don't know why keep calling you Jane Jane are you all right glad to have you with us thank you so much Stephanie for having me yeah it's a beautiful journey we hold each other's hand yeah being a month where we celebrate our children who are special as people call them but you don't call them special in our world they are children who breast differently their brains work differently as we see live as black and white our children see white and gray yes just a bit just differently just slightly different slightly different you've said you don't call them a special what do you call them in your world we are geniuses yeah we have geniuses in our lives remember anything good that has ever happened to anyone there must be a charge remember Moses in the Bible yeah the guy could barely say a word but still God used him right yeah so I believe that our children are breast differently because they are supposed to be used by God differently differently yes okay so this are geniuses we're talking about geniuses right right right let's talk about it for someone who's just hearing about autism or hears about autism but doesn't really understand what it is about let's start with that what is autism our autism when I hear the word autism of course I always panic because it's not something to celebrate honestly speaking because it comes in a big shock what is autism what will happen those are the main questions that come with it but generally until today we are not able to really know what is going on in children's brains because of course we discover that the children have issues with their brain at a very tender age so no matter which hospital you go to they will never tell you what it is unfortunately all over the world no one has an answer for it yeah it's a spectrum where the children are behaving differently that's where unfortunately people think that our children are mad because not related by any means to mental disorder no it's not a mental disorder honestly it's neuro neuro disorder you know that's something that God has done yeah and unfortunately until today we are not able to have any cure or all we do is therapy is hope for the best walk the journey hoping that tomorrow it will be better I will awaken something and then this child will be better so no matter where you go all that you're told is it's either genetic it's brought by the environment environment yes environment that's where the Kokomeron and all the other cartoons are brought in that you told don't expose your child too much on cartoon they the brain now start working like the cartoon so they're they're not able to socialize but you're not 100% sure so for me in the old definition I had to grab something that I had to run with I took the genetic I just told myself it is me it is my husband and now going on the journey of the genius part my husband is a very good mathematician like the guy is so good okay if you look at me mean you let them so when you combine that kind of vibe and say mine I am not ashamed to say we combined it and we brought Ivan in the world yes yes I think that's an amazing view to have okay so for you you know and before you even get to your experience again right how does autism look like for someone also doesn't understand what's even we're talking about in the first place you know how does an autistic child behave compared to the other all right now let's talk about Barry okay I always make it a bit spicy Barry as well you know Barry tip toe and walk with their toes you know that's a miracle we start with that that's one of the characteristics of an autistic child they tip toe very well as in they do Barry very well and then when they have meltdown we don't okay in this other side you don't say they're having that drink tantrum yes we don't use the word tantrum use talk about meltdown meltdown is why you're not able to express yourself what is going on remember Stephanie when things are so tough probably with your boyfriend with mom and then sometimes you're not really able to tell the other side of the story what do you do you just yeah yeah so that's my son because Ivan cannot be able to express what is going on in his life he cannot be able to tell me mommy I want this so what will happen well just meltdown so in the process of meltdown you think this has spoiled brat because that's what we say yeah so this is a child will behave worse than the other one because the other one you'll be like dacochapa and will understand that now this one is bad but now this one is a child will not understand the normal life you'll not be able to express you'll not be able to understand that mommy is saying obviously because you're having a meltdown I'm having a meltdown I'm having a meltdown it is what it is there's nothing you can do about it yes to address my issue that is another thing and then the other one is the flipping of the hands of the hands they really crave and then they like their hands until today to my son if he holds a Soviet he'll talk to the Soviet because we reached the point that we talk now yeah yeah but we started the journey without anyone okay the other characteristic is now during the meltdown the guy can hurt himself the baby can hurt them so they can call the phone and they're trying to hurt them so oh come to you when they are so violent that's why we end up saying ah mama Ivan you know we usually just talk it to the wind but that's where you think yeah yeah we we loosely use this term so when you see a child meltdown somehow this is a spoiled brat and you don't know what you know that child is going through the condition that child right right so that's another characteristic and then the other one is the sound if the guy is excited they have a sound they have a sound if they are comfortable they are happy they'll have that sound when they are not and they don't want to do the meltdown they still use the sound so you can imagine a seated in the church everyone is quiet this evening and then your baby decides to use the sound because he's happy and then people are looking at you control your child control the child making noise yeah why are you making noise you know we change the environment they don't want to be there it can be hectic so these are that's how this our children behave they behave differently but because the expression is different and unfortunately they are not able to understand that there's more the discipline issues that you are supposed to have kawaiida they are not there in our children's life unfortunately but we usually get there eventually it's a journey right okay so we tell us your experience how did you how do you know you know that your child has autism is it from birth do you just see a child and know that this one has autism because now it's it's the behavior that at least you know from what you've said is the behavior so now when a child so what we can make of this is you can just raise your child normally you know up until they're able now to walk or something or how else can you know and now unfortunately that is the most interesting part because uh i'm not comparing but if you have a cp baby you can look from the you know the cerebral passive baby that's a baby you look at and you can tell something is not right but now with our children 100 percent everything is kawaiida kawaiida you know the baby the only difference with mine is uh we had given birth at the same time with a girlfriend or mine um nomati and they could not sleep at night my son as long as he is full he could sleep the whole night so i used to brag i have a good memory the guy is calm when he's young he's calm than usual compared to the other children also i have other children so if i compare this was the most peaceful dude yeah he fits he sits he waits no matter so as uh i know the the autism is quite it's very wide because the characteristic of my baby is not the seam as another yeah in our was up groups where we are or in our journey that we are joined your support groups as they are saying um some will talk about their child their children are not able to have the sleeping patterns are pathetic mine i did not have issues with our sleeping pattern my baby used to sleep a hundred percent until i knew my baby is autistic that's when i realized that's when maybe i don't know if i'm the one who are walking the sleeping pattern or something but honestly speaking all the other time when you were small you could see yeah the good visuri yeah i yeah now you ask stefanie about uh how i i i knew okay let's begin with the children over covid my baby was born in november 2019 so his gen was 2020 2020 i didn't i did not have so we are panicked so you are like what is going to happen so you are hustling because you know you know those are things i i i was busy i would say um struggling to make sure that we we eat because that's time it was a matter of food it was not about wealth it was not about all those things you just have a million yes so both you and your husband are you are busy you are extremely busy trying to fill in the gaps um so uh kiddo go kiddo go we walked the journey and then by the grace of god as i was telling you i had some good friend of mine mama ryan gave me the idea you're good with madri you know you like driving that's your passion why don't you just do this so that's how i started my journey of our cutting the children to school so i mean there are madri that you know a lady ah we celebrate it is lovely it is yes we when the schools resumed i could take my children and the other children to school but now with my i sold the personal only be the small one by the grace of god we walked the journey so you are busy feeling in what are you learning school fees ah you are smiling now you're smiling it's put to a stop where you call the children for birthday and then there's this little baby i remember she's quite young because i when i'm holding the baby Ivan is now a big boy six months that's when this baby is born so you went to see the baby and then i told um baby i but now you have a wife to make it up and then this baby comes with a cup from the kitchen you are both the other day so it was a wake up call like wow something is not right it was on a Saturday i was frustrated i started looking at people who are around me because the other women and the friends who are around and how old was your son now one year one year and let's say eight months because he was not one eight was not two it was not two it was not two but uh eye contact another another i forgot the characteristic of what his child will never look at you in the eye in the eye no um so baby Ivan could not another thing he can never interact with other children he's he always have to find a place on his edge so that time we have a battery we're happy we're excited but my baby is alone he's hiding behind the curtain actually he just wants his face and you're making noise another characteristic they can really close their ears see he a lot of unnecessary noise so they don't want they don't want us so they hold and then now they stack the the voice of the sound yeah so my baby was frustrated and of course i had to be by him on my back i'm used to carrying him on my back so i just took him and then i saw him he was okay because now the other children are making a lot of noise and he slept but now i was like oh my god so i went to my husband i know when you went when you went to national park there's a baby who looked younger than baby Ivan and i said hi to the baby and the baby responded that's when i felt something i don't like Alex who couldn't be here who couldn't be here so he noticed i noticed earlier but wasn't sure i wasn't sure of course and then he you know also maybe in denial yeah yeah we are already you don't want to you know we are in denial until today i am i'm talking about but believe me sometimes i want someone to tell me no it's fine yeah so it's like i was like wow monday let's go to the hospital where he was born and they'll ask the doctor to penetrate here so on monday i called my girlfriend Julie Julie hi you need to take me to a visa you're like wow what are we going to do there like i think Ivan is deaf something is all right i gave out a story of the previous night like oh all right then let's go so we went to the hospital we queued we waited it was our turn so baby Ivan was there my girlfriend and my husband disappeared because i knew i'm so sure he knew something was on him yeah so so much and you are cheering let me just say nene na uko so um i asked the doctor hey doctor are you and honestly i didn't think it is good to let me know what happened so he just looked at me i'm so sure he knew there was something there was something and also he knew that as a mother i have to put a brim on someone match ready that's what we do yeah so he he told me um just come down what's going on like my baby even if you call him right now so like i have an Ivan Ivan or not look at one two you're not you'll not respond you've not even look at two you're not even behave like calling his name and then he was all over that time he was he was very hyper extremely hyper he's destroying so the doctor he's just observing and he's writing down so he was like um i am sorry but um i think baby Ivan is autistic what what what is that what do you mean by autistic it was foreign foreign to you and being that i have other children um the two girls and then there's a big boy so the people used to be like ah you know boys are slower yeah so you are overreacting calm down this guy will be okay you speak no more so kiddo go kiddo go um i was like now Julie what does that mean she she had tears she started crying she was like it's not something like it's like if you're crying then it's something it's not right so it's like um for us to be sure let's first confirm that the baby is not there so go the other side please go however is he is um checked checked so he went and the Ivan was checked and he could hear 100% so he was not there he was not there yes he was not there he was not there so he came back and then uh the doctor told us yeah our baby is but it's like then there's no problem what is the solution is there any for you wanted it's okay it's okay yeah yeah it's okay you know i know we are good then it's okay is it something we can treat yeah it's something we can do we have therapies and then ah there's no problem everything that the baby is okay i smiled but um i need you to go downstairs so you are somewhere so go downstairs and then confirm talk to the occupational therapist doctors and then they'll advise you because now you could see the smile on my face but he knew i can't breathe this smile right now for him i'm sure that's what he was scared of he can't give you again yeah so i went to the occupational therapist and then um another characteristic of the autistic children you know this thing come kid over kid over they arrange their stuff in a straight line yeah they make the thing things organized in a straight line straight straight so if there are blocks they have to be straight if the seats they have to be straight no diversions it's just a straight line so um he organized he was given some blocks so that is what occupational therapy is he organized the blocks and the sensory or so so that they can stop the trip so that's the sensory therapy um and then um that was it i coughed i coughed to seven thousand wow and you were not even ready for that you're just going to check with the doctor is my kid fine what is going on so kid over kid over i asked the the occupational therapist doctor um how many sessions do i need i mean no problem it's okay it's expensive but i'm sure i can do something how many give me a number yeah give me a number i like could be years you never know how long it will take could be you don't know that one now with me realize then there's a big problem as much as i would just say the Holy Spirit you know when when you go through the scenario of someone you really love let's say someone has died there's the Holy Spirit that comes yeah the way other people are seeing it sometimes you are so calm until people are wondering are you okay but i would just say there's a way that god does his thing so because for me i was i was a bit calm until now reality of the money came in remember we're just struggling transport just make you just started yeah nothing much to really celebrate so there we were we went home i called my mom i met my mom home so it's like so i'm trying to be strong also for my mom but mom when i get we need to notice mom is it what is it but to me and be what we need to do this and this and mom this thing is so expensive i don't know what to do so mom she did what she does best melt it down prayed and then she told us wow that's how far it yeah and left so we were left with alex alex i'm sure it was in his own world i was in mind we were all because you've just you are done this news you've never really expected that child would have of course now we were also told about uh when we talked to the doctor it's old as we should withdraw cartoon that's tv the screen time we should completely yes that's specific time we're told please withdraw tv from this baby give him more of action time let him pray with other children and all that we encourage to do that i was like sour let's do this but now i'm still great on the seven thousand and how many sessions do we need actually we needed four sessions a week four four one session is three five please do your maths it is not doable it is something you cannot afford so i i kept quiet i was lost so i just got to our group uh the family group uh my in-laws family group i just wrote and said uh please uh if you see our baby is not behaving the normal way we were told that baby everything is artistic so please bear with us and i left the group i left the group because i felt like everyone knew except me so at that point you are in so already a denial i'm bringing everyone i'm blaming everyone for it and of course i also sat myself down and i also felt it was my fault i was too busy looking for money looking for the help i mean just trying to do whatever i can do so it is my fault if i was here a little bit different yes so i just tried looking for issues that would just make me feel more miserable maybe i know yeah but anyway i called the the lady the friend of mine and she told me no take the baby to school the baby will be fine i went to a closed school teacher grace took us in and she encouraged me mom i want everything will be okay i will be i what do you mean everything will be okay nothing will be okay so i'm looking at the other children they're small they're young they're happy they could ask me my name mine is there in his own world actually does not even want to be these children yeah it's like something that is not working for him so i would take baby i went to school and just sit outside the the whole time the whole time i i remember i called my husband at some point i told him i alex i can't drive the children anymore i'm not a but i can't do this anymore i really disappointed so many parents and i still date what what is i am very sorry i i i still say sorry to the parents that are disappointed but at some at that point i sank i sank completely and we decided to sell the bands one by one because i could not handle it now that's where we talk about me our mental health yeah i went into depression yes i didn't want anyone close to me i didn't want friendship unfortunately the people who thought would love you and support you they were like but she was too busy looking for money she didn't have time for the baby but remember this is not the first child you know and then remember covid also you were stuck home okay as much as i was hustling it's not like i was not home i was home you were home i was home so it was it was hard for everyone it was even tougher for you because now with this music but now when you have people who expect to be very supportive and then they have fun because that they're exchanging and thinking ah it's because she was not there so you just tell yourself yes it's true that was my fault yeah so you can imagine anytime you switch your fault it is not nice yeah uh so uh my uh we call them in in kikoi moiro that the lady is married to my brother marsy she she used to work in in kenyatta now she's she's out she's in the u.s she calls me she's like jen bring baby i went to kenyatta everything will be okay yeah i told her ah okay i'll think about it because i mean you still knew okay you see now i still have the problem you still knew that you know my as a problem and then you've taken too long so you're still yeah i still bring her but anyway i called alexander sasa uh can i can i take baby i went he's like yeah yeah let's take baby i went to kenyatta no worries let's go so we went we were there very early in the morning by around six in the morning we went and she was able to help us go to the occupational therapy center there is one a beautiful one very beautiful doctors and very good ones doctor dr kai many dr justy i mean and the whole department is lovely they know being a mother that i am anytime they could take my baby for their occupation of europe where the the occupational therapy is swinging the babies tamperine oh tamperine therapy swinging the babies is a therapy okay and so you put them inside and then you rotate you roll them you know you really roll them and then it was it was it was it is bad it is it is bad um so sorry i mean but anyway um i accepted but i used to be the crying mom actually i know all my all my friends know which is so you know kenyatta kenyatta is very cold so i we used to go and then we're told you need to socialize i'm looking at socializing white i don't want to talk to anyone so we people could we could sit around the other mothers and they could just cover my head and cry those sessions until when the session is baby Ivan okay here i am so we could hold him and go home and remember those sessions you don't see any results it takes time a lot of time i even need four years just the other days when you started being wobble a bit wobble so it's a journey so we we continue going for the therapies at least in kenyatta their therapies are friendly very friendly it wouldn't we wouldn't compare with the private defy so you used to go for two sessions uh and then one day i'm home one of my friends mrs googie passes by my house she's like how are you why is baby Ivan why you know i was not able to say i like him as Ivan is in school like but the baby is not even true so another male today i i told her this story like there's a place called kisser go there you'll be sorted i'm getting a lot of support and people know a lot of people have a lot of information the only thing is you're not able to to really interact and get the info like oh okay i actually did not tell alex i told i went to kisser the kenya date so tell us what kisser is about kisser kisser is the institution in kenya uh where there's people with disabilities they go for the the rapist it's a beautiful big place extremely beautiful with very friendly doctors i would say that i always recommend i will always recommend please if you have a baby please take them there and i also pray to god that all the counties will have kisses kisses yeah kisses everywhere where the children can get assistance so when they they are like no we need to access the baby access the baby uh this will be the date and we went there but now baby i even was not three years so the doctor was like no my bad please take baby i even outside more if you're in a flat uh make the team interact with others if if not please take him to school that's like baby i even is already in school and then she was like uh here we are able to assert the the therapies are done after three years that's when we are able to really determine if there is a problem but these are the food that's where now the challenge comes there's also specific food that i supposed to take we throw the sugars we throw this we throw we throw the bananas we i looked at the doc i'm like what is he supposed to eat from this what are you doing everything what are you doing everything the risk the risk is is a lot uh you like unfortunately you have to do this especially the sugars please let him stop using the sugars stop the wheat and then um uh autistic children sometimes they can have problems with constipation but their digestion system is not the best so to see i'm i'm also still talking about mine that's why i told you it's very wide because the others who are okay whatever they eat but now specifically the baby i even had a problem i had a problem so we started the journey of the feeding also that we could do camel milk because now the information is a lot so you need to see as struggling to look for from from his sleep so i'm calling my mom and remember it is so expensive also but that is not even something to worry about as long as we were always saying as long as the doctor's no best uh then alex looked for boozy so we could turn it because honestly the taste the taste how's the taste the taste not good it's not good no i used to cry while i'm feeling my baby i'm like we walked and walked and walked and then um we did a lot of sessions in kenyatta so it was during the december when baby i was when it was almost time three so um you're supposed to go for the holidays and of course now there's not enough travel life has to go sort of so people are taking by we created a beautiful group very supportive people amazing human beings um so i remember when we had the sessions we why encouraged to take our children to a month sorry uh in a school that has a month sorry system month sorry system is where the children is not more academic or not accessed yes yes they cannot be yes yes because our babies will not be able to sit down for 45 minutes their concentration cannot last that long so you need where in it's more friendly so i called i called i called my friends 150 but i'm i'm like why please mongo god if you gave me this baby then or definitely you have to give me the money please be kind to me please me but yes i i am so we went went to a certain school unfortunately the society hits our babies hmm society's um how people treat them how people how our children are treated it's it's cold people are cold because we went to one of the schools now we started looking for school now this guy has to go to school he's turning three so he needs where where he is now catered for so we went to one of the schools is like the first thing i always do and it has healed me is if i come to your house i'll tell you and my baby is autistic so anything can happen to be alright okay so i told this lady my baby is autistic do you take autistic children it's like oh let's see how it goes uh bring him for an interview so i took our baby there like leaving for one hour then come back she looked at me on the face after the one hour we were all of us and she told me okay i didn't think you need to take your child to a special school so remember we are encouraged parents with autistic children do not hit them to this to any special school please don't they're supposed to be integrated in yes please do not please do not reason being if today a child is taken to a monkey even the normal okay as we call them the normal children if you take them and interact they interact with the monkeys that child will be like a monkey all right so our children um you take them to the other children they will be able to behave like the other children they'll see the other children are seated they'll sit down you understand they learn from the others from the experience but now if you take them to a special school the children even start bending one side you know the you know the special needs uh unit is so big so you can imagine whatever i can really promote mine the only issue is the verbal and the interaction so it'll start coping the rest yeah if you like this style of walking that dude will work like that but now if you give him a chance to be with other children this guy he might come out you know uh so uh i would say it will killed me i looked at him and i'm like okay not problem i'll take him there that broke you yeah that broke me you went back home told alexina why do you take our child so i remember now i'm going through a really really mental issue i'm down completely down um that uh everything lost tastes anything anything that used to make me smile does not make me smile you know everything is gone uh my husband was in his own world two or two the only thing that he used to bring us together is we need to go there but behold that everything so literally when the special children can also make families break it's not it's not anyone's fault it's because you go a y i go a y and then if the brim game comes in you're done so i i i i i i called my girlfriend party party what's up where do i get that it's january january is coming so what am i supposed to do with our and that's how like ah there's a school hey blow my thoughts god bless you my dear so she gave me the number of the owner of the school i went i went and waited for her like today you remember i told her more than yeah she was supposed to be in the office at around nine i seven thirteen before i need to see you come where she's wondering so she was so guilty and she came and the first thing i still told her is you take out a stick children because i just wanted that no and walk cry as i walk you know you're like just come down if today god gave me a chance between a child a normal child and your baby i'll pick your baby wow i'll never forget those words wow and i would still want to appreciate her and give her her flowers when she was alive wow my dear god bless you yes and from there i had a meltdown these are total strangers remember she became my therapist oh she listened wow we did not do yes we do not do anything just sat and talked and talked and repeated this story that i'm telling you on my journey of the ups and downs and the frustrations that i went and she was there she had a lot to do because i remember she had to switch off her phone but she created time for me may god bless her come on it is a place later as a person these people yeah so please celebrate them when when they are like you know so we started our lovely journey there uh we used to do we used to to do therapies at kisei now i'm accepted at kisei because now my baby is our is three years he was accepted he was old now you can come remember at kisei we just pay 150 or 100 shillings per session by the grace of god you know yes yes yes yes yes so dr serene god bless you dr delkar god bless you they've really taken good care of us and then of course in our in our school it's a it's a kindergarten where the other children were autistic but the parents are in denial yeah so by the grace of god similarly i have become like someone who is always telling people it is okay as much as on my side it is not okay i'm able to hold them and just tell them we will be fine i walked the journey it's not like there isn't a big miracle that have happened but i keep on telling them you'll be fine you'll be fine so in the process my game was able to also access kisei and our children were able to get help and then kidogo kidogo especially at um speech speech therapists ivy was also introduced to the group so because i was quitting we have like 10 babies hold it nicely so we have the sessions and the children are giving hope yeah and i would say that it's not the end of it and also i also want to tell people it is not witchcraft there's nothing to do it's good to to to the bank that place it is not witchcraft it is not witchcraft it's no more and it is not your fault it has nothing to do with you it is purely the if if the guys when you're in a soma in the u.s we still have stories of good doctors we still have that means this is something which is very wide yeah and still you know still equal to her for equal to her for equal and we have amazing you know i've heard stories of people with autism and they're geniuses and they're doing great things it's not like they can't do anything right yeah they have the potential to to be engineers to be and it is actually interesting because there's a time i was interviewing a doctor on the same that they're geniuses especially in sciences so it's it's actually a gift there you know it is it is it is it is it is it is very true because if you look at it's a motechronic tesla tesla the guy is autistic really yes he is please touch please touch i need to i need to start it look at that please touch so i always say my son you guy my guy i know you got her i mean i just went on and fired you know you're the guy you know and uh so far so good i would still encourage people please don't hide your children don't be ashamed of your children in our church i'm not ashamed of my baby uh june our june yes and francis of us he said god bless you they have really hold it my child they love him dearly because it also started with me it has to start with me i have to show them i have to make them understand that my baby behaves this way does this way because god has given him a different ability and they have really treasured the boy and anytime he does say anything you're like you know we are always there but they're in a good way all of us are and the guy is doing extremely well but above all let's not and also okay i'm not i'm not being mean to the religion part also but there's a in our group i saw a lady who was saying that the past hour is the father's fault to watch you right but come on please all i can say is pleased by the grace of god let's god give us the grace to a certain that our children are just blessing and let's us embrace them let's walk with them let's hold them show them a lot of love for me our hand or our meltdown i forgot to tell you that i go to his crown he's crying i sleep with him and start talking to him now even what did i do is there anything i should be worried about so a lot of hugs a lot of love is what i need in the supermarket when everyone is looking at me thinking it's a kababa i sit down with my baby yes if he decides now i am it i'm ready to cry there's nothing much you can do the least you can do is stop getting frustrated sit with him and tell him i love you until by the way now you see it i love you because now i love you has become a part of his life so let's not feel ashamed of them there's nothing to be ashamed of yeah there's nothing to be ashamed of i love that i wish we could continue this revolution press for time but i love that i love that you shared your story right and through your story i'm sure you know many people some who are not aware they have connected the dots you know through hearing and listening to other people that sometimes you connect and even through your experience someone else has been encouraged you know inspired and that's what we are all about and for you you know if you know someone who is autism or someone who has an autistic child then you can be kinder you know be a support to them and it goes along all right yes yes yes yes okay so tell us how can as we close if someone wants to reach out to you maybe through your social maybe someone who wants some direction on how to get you know to some of the networks that you've mentioned how do they how can they get you of course i'm just the driver right but anyway i'm just on instagram when i went through my my mental health i forgot all my passwords so literally i forgot my password for my facebook and that was it and i'm so lazy to start it again but my instagram is is where we met uh gene moindua um yeah and anytime someone wants to get help hold them if not anything even to just be kind even we can cry together it's good to also cry wonderful thank you very much gene for coming on board you're such a you know such a warm lady we celebrate you in fact for what you're doing for being our voice to even other women going through the same thing and the parents going through the same thing and we love your strength thank you thank you so much awesome so this is where we particularly was on today's lifestyle now we're going to take uh you know go to the next step where grasha will be taking us through music uh you will enjoy the conversations and the music so let's take that break and we'll be right back