 So I relapsed with alcohol, unboxing the day. I had five years sober, and I fucking drank a bottle of vodka. I don't think I'm really more ashamed how I feel about that. I genuinely feel like I've let everyone down. It's embarrassing, because I was happy sober. I never wanted to drink. I don't know why I drank so much. I drank so much that I threw up. I bought the name for my entire family. It's so embarrassing that I've drank a bottle of vodka. I don't even know what I was thinking. Like, what good could come from... I was already drunk. And then I went and had more and more and more. I don't know why I drank an entire bottle of vodka. Especially because I don't enjoy being drunk and it makes me anxious. And I didn't have my meds either that day. So it's just one of those things that happened. I didn't relapsed with cocaine or anything like that, so I guess that's good. I'm nearly at five years sober for cocaine, which is a huge rim, but alcohol has set me back to zero. I have that to be unhappy about. I don't see drinking just making me suicide at all. I don't want to be suicidal. I don't want to be drunk. I don't want to drink alcohol. It brings no joy. It didn't help. I didn't take my meds that day, because you can't drink on Palo Palo Palo at all. I don't think you can drink on lithium. I know you can't drink on vortiox, and he even draws on it. I literally slept the entire day after Boxing Day, so the effect that it had on me was not worth the action. My hair's gone really curly today. But yeah, alcohol and me don't mix. Alcohol just makes me feel suicide. And honestly, that night I did contemplate taking all my hyperprofen, because I had two boxes of hyperprofen, because of my migraines. And I can't take the para-situ more, so hyperprofen is. I don't have any code eating with me because it's... But I did have a good Christmas Day, and it was my scene on my family. But I did have a good Christmas, and just let myself down on Boxing Day by drinking a lot of vodka. My message to anyone out there who's considering drinking alcohol for the first time, don't drink a bottle of vodka. You will pour. I just want to say sorry to anyone that I've let down, and I hope you know that you're not alone. We all have slipper-pops. Nobody is perfect. There is no perfect recovery. So stay safe, stay sober, and stay strong. And I'll see you in my next video. Peace.