 Good afternoon foundation staff. This is dr. Theron Sherman today's briefing doesn't contain any objectionable material Although if you're just about to reach your daily quota for ridiculous bullshittery, which here at the foundation had you not You may want to return to this briefing at a later date Reminder that this briefing is brought to you by the site 42 broadcast network Which brings you the best possible news anomaly briefings and entertainment content in the foundation verse Head to the site 42 beacon in the description to support our mission on patreon and other social media platforms using your encrypted foundation issued accounts Steve let's begin List of things dr. Spanko is not allowed to do at the foundation notice from director naysmith Given scp 2337's poor grasp of cause and effect the futility of providing the subject with these guidelines is obvious However, should any of these rules be broken containment staff will be held liable We apologize if this article's title was misleading But list of things you are not allowed to allow dr. Spanko to do at the foundation was too long for skip nets character maximum One under no circumstances is scp 2337 allowed to have access to bagpipes rubber chickens the collected works of Marcel Proust weapons grade plutonium or table salt To scp 2337 is no longer allowed to claim that he's a quote psychic flying type or quote one of the legendary birds three scp 2337 may not defraud more than three civilian food service companies per hour for Insider trading tips from scp 2337 are to be ignored with extreme prejudice Five scp 2337 is no longer allowed to run for political office Six however given the inevitability of such an incident scp 2337 may only run as a demo Proble corn partly candidate Seven scp 2337 may not claim to have invented grass toasters MLA format or the spanko phone Eight the spanko phone does not exist Nine spanko phone is not another word for French horn Ten spanko phone is not another word for Sherman tank 11 spanko phone is not another word for calculus 12 spanko phone is not another word for Tom weights 13 any attempts made by scp 2337 to physically alter the vocalizations made by cows is to be intercepted and stopped immediately Cows are fine the way they are they do not need to say cack or a Treskin style 14 scp 2337 is not allowed to make hashtag boo the moo twendon Twitter 15 scp 2337 is not allowed within 400 meters of psych 59's on-site nuclear warhead 16 scp 2337 is not allowed to send Valentine's to psych 59's nuclear warhead 17 scp 2337 is not allowed to star in a PG 13 buddy cop movie alongside psych 59's nuclear warhead 18 scp 2337 is not to make any further attempts to coerce psych 59's office supplies into fighting each other to the death 19 under no circumstances is scp 2337 to be made aware of the works of Gilbert and Sullivan 20 scp 2337 is not allowed to be in a family guy cutaway gag 21 scp 2337 is not allowed within 20 meters of the psych 59 cafeteria 22 on a related note scp 2337's culinary suggestions are to be ignored with extreme prejudice 23 scp 2337's recipe for spanko sauce is to be especially disregarded and nestics will be issued for assistance 24 following incident 59 1 0 0 dash C and the resulting border restructuring efforts in Central America scp 2337 is forbidden to have any further contact with scp 7 9 7 6 25 continued suggestions from scp 2337 that the border between Costa Rica and Panama needs to be quote shaped like any zoo animal are to be ignored with extreme prejudice 26 scp 2337 is no longer allowed near an open telephone receiver Should he be caught humming and audible frequencies into a receiver again? He is to be immediately taken back to his cell and the phone is to be disconnected hermetically sealed in a lead line in sarcophagus filled with slaughterhouse byproducts and buried 500 meters under a mesh work grid of railroad ties Blessed by Serbian Orthodox monks containment staff are then to point at scp 2377 and exclaim knock it off you weasley goober in a portuguese accent 27 scp 2337 is no longer allowed to create original characters for the sonic the hedgehog universe while harmless in an isolated environment the unexpected internet popularity of such characters as Oif the Bramble Puss and ferrigerator the goose a dillo threatens the secrecy of foundation operations 28 scp 2337 is not allowed to be a whistleblower for any alleged misdeeds undertaken by scp 7333 Given rule 3 and 4 that would be hypocritical 29 under no circumstances is scp 2337 allowed to produce any more offspring with any instance of scp 3758-a scp 2337 has been neutered as per containment protocol, but this does not seem to have stopped him 30 scp 2337 is not to attempt any contact whatsoever with the entity. He designates his crazy cousin ubuntu 31 any attempt made by scp 2337 to reboot Frago Rock is to be intercepted and reported to o5 command 32 under no circumstances is scp 2337 to provide any constructive criticism to the Sun regarding color theory 33 scp 2337 is not allowed within 500 meters of scp 2317 34 the minimum distance from scp 2317 is to be increased to 20 kilometers if scp 2337 is wearing a Halloween costume and carrying a little pumpkin bucket 35 scp 2337 is no longer allowed to cling to be quote open source 36 scp 2337 is not allowed to create fanfiction 37 his Garfield fanfiction in particular is to be contained in the specialized hermetically sealed vault under the motherland call statue in vulgograd 38 scp 2337 is not and never will be an order muppet 39 scp 2337 is no longer allowed to add his OCs to the English alphabet The ongoing misinformation campaign to claim that the letter w has always existed has caused irreversible damage to the Foundation's budget 40 scp 2337 is no longer allowed to sue containment staff 41 scp 2337 is not allowed to be within 500 kilometers of a megaphone 42 claims that scp 2337 is a quote Skeksis are to be ignored 43 that being said scp 2337 is not allowed within the same building as a gelfling 44 there is no spanko cinematic universe and there never will be 45 attempts to contact the entity known interchangeably as the all-mather-of-lots Queen persnickety hoopla or that Sampa wielding magic mama on the moon who waters the spoons and prunes the spittoons are to be reported immediately to o5 command 46 scp 2337 is no longer allowed to turn himself into a rutabaga and claimed to be packle rack 47 please see sublass 1 through 38 for forbidden yodeling protocols 48 claims that scp 2337 is in possession of a never stone are to be ignored 49 that being said if scp 2337 attempts to contact any third party with the surname koshe Regarding sale of this never stone site 59 is replaced on lockdown until o5 command gives you all clear 50 finally scp 2337 is expressly forbidden from having any lists posted about you Oh god fucking damn it Steve did you do this all right? Well while we clean up this cacking mess that ends today's broadcast use your foundation in krypton youtube Like comment subscribe hit the bell become a patron to support our broadcast and we'll see you in the next briefing secure contain protect Damn it. I told you thank you for listening Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you Please become a patron or visit our merch store at the link in our bio to support our work Secure contain protect