 So in a previous video, we talked a little bit about what is emotion? What's some of the basic characteristics of emotion and and we just started a conversation a really good conversation about emotion And I wanted to continue that a little bit here by talking about some of the influences on emotional expression Where does this come from? Where do our? Emotions come from and what you know factors are there that influence how we experience and how we express an emotion particularly So let's take a look at some of those influences and factors on emotional expression first our personality plays a big role in Emotion right some of us are I mean we're just wired differently in a sense emotionally speaking some of us are More high-strung some of us are more low-key And neither of those is intended as judgment sometimes high-strung people need to be you know We need you need that in a person and sometimes low-key people I tend to be a little more low-key emotionally and I get accused of being Not not not as feeling as I should be you know not experiencing emotions Oh, I should but so but our personality, you know We're just sort of born with some of this hard-wired in in terms of are we how do we have a calmer personality or do we have a? You know out their personality and how does that influence then how we experience and how we express these emotions and get some of That's just DNA. So it's just how we're wired Another major influences our culture There are cultures that that encourage emotional expression like those of us in Western cultures Westernized cultures in the United States and Western Europe Canada places like that We are encouraged to express our emotion to just bluntly state. I'm feeling this or I'm you know having this emotion There are other cultures where? That's not as encouraged right that where they're Encouraged to kind of keep that to themselves. That's not You know expected that the people would express emotion that you're just supposed to kind of bottle it up a little bit more And to us that seems unhealthy and may not seem wise, but other cultures that that's about maintaining the the Collective perspective right that just because you're feeling something doesn't necessarily mean we need to have everybody feel that so They're thinking about the whole rather than just the individual and so your culture though will have a massive influence on How you experience and how you express those emotions? Gender will also play a role am I gender remember we're not talking about biological sex here. We're talking about the the the you know masculine or feminine or androgynous type of of gender that you that you Maintain that you kind of subscribe to and that you develop and that you you build from So that the different genders view emotion differently through socialization, but we're taught Through this that that genders experience and express emotion differently And so while it's all eight this these are generalizations We're not talking about individuals talking about generally speaking so it could be different for each each individual But we know that in general masculine and feminine gendered people tend to have different Relationships with their emotions so to speak right they tend to experience and express emotion differently Your social roles and convention which again comes back in some ways to culture but in a very specific way What are the expectations for you socially where you grew up? You know if this was the 1950s America then the social roles and conventions would be the that women stay at home They take care of families. They raise children, right? They maintain the home while them the men go out and earn a living and things like that Now we know that that's not our social role and convention that men and women both work outside the home that men and women can both stay in and Raise children if either of them is going to sometimes kids are you know not racing themselves But both parents work so you make adjustments for that one of the social roles and conventions When I was growing up in the you know in the 80s and 90s was much more of a me time Right much more of a me focus so we were encouraged to express or it was okay for us to express our emotions much more bluntly Now in in the modern day We're expected to be a little more considered about what other people may feel about that how they may react and almost to the other extreme to an extreme of that and so But the social roles and conventions change over time and and they change as we grow and age and different things so Social media certainly has had an influence on emotion as well Due to most largely what we call the disinhibition effect where we know that the people who are separated by a screen That tends to amplify emotion in a lot of ways we tend to see a lot more emotional expression Happen a lot faster So that that plays out in a couple different ways first you see a lot of a lot of anger for example There's social media people are much more inclined to just let loose and call somebody names and and start spitting fire On social media then they would be probably if that person was was right in front of them in a face-to-face way we also see relationships develop much faster for example in the online environment because Emotion is experienced differently there. So you're you're more inclined to Share and self-disclosed at a higher rate Online then you would be in a face-to-face relationship. So again for better or worse those are things that happen via social media We experience things differently when we have a screen between us and the other person And it certainly impacts emotion the the experience and expression of emotion in many ways via social media Some of the idea of Emotional contagions right contagions being things like, you know, if you have the common cold or you have the flu or something We know that those can be passed from person to person, right? We know that one of the reasons said that COVID for example was so dangerous COVID-19 was so dangerous was that it was passed so easily from person to person it was aerosolized and Emotions are much the same way. They can be passed from person to person and it doesn't take all that much They're really highly contagious you do this experiment you walk into a classroom or walk into a room And you'll be able to probably influence the emotion if you're experiencing or expressing an emotion very strongly Then people are likely to to fall in with that if you walk in grumbling and angry and so forth pretty soon You're gonna have most people in that room That are angry as well The same is true in the flip side if you go in you have this bright personality and you're sunny It's not everybody's not gonna respond that way But people when they leave many people are going to leave in a better mood than they came in Because emotions are contagious. We need to be aware of that that our emotions can kind of Be passed to others and rub off on other people. So what kind of emotion do we want to share with the world then? Finally we can look at the influence of emotional Intelligence now emotional intelligence. I want to give you a bit of a definition here and back up a little bit with it Emotional intelligence is the ability to recognize understand and manage your emotions as well as understand and influence the emotions of others So let's look at that In segments here first of all recognize understand and manage your own emotions Gosh, that's a challenge, right? That's that's that's a good skill. Some people are have this ability to do this a little more easily than others but always have the ability to some extent to Recognize understand and manage our emotions. That's something we should be working toward Now this does not mean that we need to suppress our emotions or that we need to totally be fake with people But we ought to be able to identify. Okay, what emotion am I experiencing right now? We're talking another video about a sometimes the physiological aspects for example of a strong emotion Are ambiguous? They can be the same for anger and for love and confusion and fear and so forth So which one of my experiencing I need to be able to recognize that and identify emotions appropriately that I'm feeling I also need then to be able to understand them. What does that mean? What implications does it have for me and for other people and What triggered that and so forth to understand those things more deeply and then to manage those emotions Not necessarily again to suppress all the emotions that we have either good or bad Or positive or negative valence emotions But to to be able to manage them in a sense that just because I feel a strong emotion doesn't mean I have to first of all communicate it at all Or secondly that I have to communicate it in a particular way just because I'm angry doesn't mean I have to shout right I can manage my anger in different ways Or just because I think I'm in loveless one doesn't mean I have to necessarily jump in and just Goo all over I love you. I love you. I love you. That could be a bit much too I need to manage that emotion in an appropriate way for myself and for the other person, right? That's that's part of emotional intelligence The other part is being able to understand and influence the emotions of others now Please recognize this does not say manipulate the emotions of others That's not what we're talking about but to be able to recognize the emotions of others to kind of identify What emotions they may be experiencing and then allow that to influence how we interact with them And thereby maybe affect their emotions if I see that my friend is very sad I may try and cheer him up right tell him some jokes or tell him some funny stories reminding of Of something good, right? I could attempt to influence his emotions in that way Um But there's just a variety ways that we can benefit from understanding and being able to influence then the emotions of others That's what we mean by emotional intelligence Aristotle kind of summed it up this way he said anybody can become angry That is easy But to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose And in the right way That is not within everybody's power and is not easy Really he's talking about emotional intelligence there, right? He's saying that you know emotional intelligence is not easy Anybody can expect can have this emotion and can just let it spill out and you know wash over them or whatever But to be able to manage that emotion effectively and constructively That's really what we're getting at with emotional intelligence and that is challenging But it is a skill that we can develop and we should Absolutely seek to develop along with understanding and and really managing all these other aspects Of of influences on our emotion and emotional intelligence then So hopefully we have a better understanding of emotion where it comes from what it's influenced by It's really all of those things you you throw them in a blender and and and you get how any given individual is going to experience And express that emotion If you have a question about emotions specifically the way that it relates to interpersonal communication Please feel free to email me. I'd love to hear from you there and be able to continue this discussion in that way In the meantime, I hope you'll give some thought next time you experience an emotion To okay, where did this come from and how did I I come to see this emotion? Just do a little self examination about how that influence came to be What it means for you and how you might best be able to manage it in terms of experiencing and expressing that emotion