 Welcome back to the 21 convention 2021 in Orlando, Florida. It is my pleasure to introduce our next guest. He's a dating coach. I think he has a lot to be able to say to you about the nature of sexual relationships and dating environment today. He resides in Miami, Florida, and being a Central Florida resident myself, I can tell you one of the best things about Miami is it's so close to the United States. Please welcome Alex. Appreciate it. All right, so let's start off with a quick little back about me. My name is Alex. I own a company called Playing with Fire. We specialize in giving no bullshit practical dating advice. Now we primarily focus on online dating, but we do more than that. We go about, you know, all the things that are related to being successful with dating online, like getting your fitness right, you know, having some free time. So getting your finances in order. So even though the main focus is crushing online dating, we go above and beyond from that. So we have a good speech for you guys. I wrote it myself. And I have two goals for this speech. So the first goal is to completely dispel all the bullshit and misconceptions that exist with online dating. And believe me, there's quite a few. The second goal, and this is the main goal, is to give you guys a no bullshit, practical, strategy framework that you can apply today. So it's not gonna be like, oh, well you listen to this speech and you have to watch 10 more videos and then maybe you can do it. No, hopefully this is the only video you need to start succeeding with online dating. So if your goal is to, oh, you know, how do I get my Tinder going? You're in the right place. All right, so let's, oh, okay. So let's start off with why you should even give a shit with online dating, right? This is people like, oh, why should I carry it? I can just make girls in real life. So first point, for better or for worse, online dating is the way of the future. So let's say you're a business person. You've had some success with business for 30 years. You can't be in denial that social media marketing is the way of the future, right? You can not like it, you can bitch about it, but you have to accept and embrace it because if you don't, all the other businesses who do will blow you in the dust. Same thing here. You can dislike online dating for whatever reason, but you have to accept it. It's here to stay. That's the majority of girls at one point or another, you know, download Tinder apps like my girlfriend, lovely lady over here, met her on Bumble, right? So again, it's the way of the future basically. That's not to say that you shouldn't meet girls in real life. No, I still do all the time, but this is a nice little addition. It's not a replacement, it's an addition. The second point, it can actually be really awesome if you know what you're doing. So a lot of times when guys hate online dating, they hate it because it hasn't worked out well for them. It's like the guy who hates bodybuilding because he went to the gym, tried to lift too much weights, broke his shoulder and now he thinks bodybuilding doesn't work, right? So it can be really awesome. Where else can you meet girls while you're taking a shit? Only on Tinder. And the third point, allows you to the work upfront and collect interest. So what does that mean? Think about it with meeting girls in real life. You know, you go out to the bar, you're doing some of the work, we call it work, call it whatever you want, and then you get the girl, right? And you do that every time. Unless you become a celebrity, you build status, you're doing the work every time. Online is not really like that. You do a lot of the work upfront. You get pictures, you get a good profile. Sometimes you need to get more photos. You develop text game, you're doing a lot of the work upfront, but once you get that done, you can then collect interest. So for example, I said my profile years ago, right? I have solid photos, I have solid text game. Now, if I want to meet a girl, for any reason I can just go on there and bam, it's like plug and play, right? So again, I've done the work upfront, now I'm just collecting interest. All right, so next let's jump into the misconceptions about online dating. First one, it's not a real game. I love hearing that. So this is common in the PUA community, assuming it's not really big in this audience, but for anyone watching on YouTube, it's not a real game, right? I hear this quite often. Let's explore that. Why is online dating not a real game? Why is it not a lot in my game? So if you take a business owner and they have a marketing strategy and they're making a lot of money and it's working well, you'll never hear CEOs say, yeah, this is not real business, we're just, it's working too well. We need to add some barriers to entry, we need to make things harder for ourselves. Any guy who's good with girls, he wants to make things as easy as possible for themselves. As long as you're not paying for it, so if you're getting on girls and that can be dating, that can be hooking up, whatever your goals are, without paying for it, then it's real game. It's as simple as that. Number two, it doesn't work for someone like insert excuse, you know, oh, I'm indie and I live in this city, blah, blah, blah. Every excuse that you have or you might have, I've heard it multiple times. I can tell you that for whatever your situation is, there's probably a dozen people with the same situation who were able to succeed. Take a look at this lovely brown gentleman who's my business partner, you know, Indian, bald, still able to have success online, right? Now what I'm not gonna say is that it's the same for everybody. No, it's not an even playing field. Take a look at bodybuilding, right? Some guys have a big edge because, you know, they have better genetics, they put on muscle faster, you know, they have less body fat, whatever. But pretty much everyone, unless they have like a severe injury or something, can make significant gains in the gym with enough time and work. It's the same thing. It can work for pretty much everybody, but some people are gonna have to do a lot more work. So what? It is what it is. It's like that with anything in life. Money too, some people get a trust fund, some people, you know, started nothing. Third misconception, it only attracts sluts and low quality girls. Hear this all the time. Also, it only attracts sluts, blah, blah, blah. Wrong. So online dating attracts all kinds of girls. And some of those are those low quality girls. I mean, me personally, I like the sluts, so that's not a, you know, that's not a bad thing for me, but low quality girls, yes, they're on there. There's also medium quality girls. So high quality girls. Online dating has become mainstream. Everyone's on there, right? Pretty much everyone. My 50 year old Jewish aunt met her boyfriend on there. My Jewish cousin met her Jewish husband on there and they have Jewish babies right now. So people who typically 10 years ago wouldn't be seeing online dating are on there now. So yeah, it's become mainstream. You can meet any kind of girl. The real trick is to screen out all the girls who are not looking for the same thing as you. So let's say you're looking for a nice girl to get in a relationship with. You want a girl with wholesome value. Okay, then you're gonna wanna screen out all the girls who don't meet that criteria and I will show you that a little bit later on. Let's say you wanna just hook up. Okay, then you wanna screen out all the girls who have wholesome values and are waiting for three, four dates, right? So it depends on what you're looking for. You're gonna screen out girls who don't want that. And the last one, this is a big talking point in the Red Pill community. Girls on here just want free attention. Element of truth. Some girls on dating apps do just want free attention. Just like girls at bars sometimes just want free attention. Girls everywhere sometimes want free attention. Other times girls wanna meet a guy. Other times girls wanna meet a boyfriend. Other times they wanna meet a husband. So yeah, there are some girls on dating apps who just want free attention. You can easily filter those out or filter out the vast majority of them. So they exist, but who gives a shit? You can screen those out. Well, let's move on to the next point. So you might be thinking that, all right, you got me psyched for online dating. How do I get started? And again, guys sometimes overcomplicate this. They're like, oh shit, I don't know where to start. There's really two components to being successful with online dating. And we're talking about any app. The first one is your profile. That is what attracts the girls. The second part is your text game. That's what allows you to take all those leads. We're gonna use sales terms. Again, not to say girls or leads or whatever, but let's just use sales lingo. It allows you to convert the leads into dates. Now, of course, there's what you do on the actual date, what you do after the date. Like does the girl wanna see you again after sex? But we're gonna focus on the first two because my goal with this speech is to give you guys a shitload of options that you can get from online dating. The rest is up to you, you got it. Guys like John Anthony are talking about the actual game component of it. So I only get an hour, so I can't focus on everything. So we got this nice little formula here. Good profile plus good text game equals success. The biggest part of your profile or your photos, this is absolutely true. You've probably heard this before. It's 90 to 95% of your profile or your photos. And photos are actually much simpler than a lot of people make it out to be. There's also two components, two main components to a good photo. It's really simple. First component, how good do you look into photo? So take a look at these two. Both were taken maybe 30 seconds apart. It's still me, I'm wearing the same outfit, same background, but I look noticeably better in this one. I mean, would you guys not agree? Looks a lot better, right? So this is the power of angles, lighting. Taking a shit of photos and finding the best one. So again, let's say you are a guy who's a seven objectively. In your photos, you wanna look like at least a 7.5. You're not gonna look like a 10 because that would be just straight up catfishing the girl, you're not gonna do that. But you can look like a 7.58 if you maximize lighting, if you maximize angles, all the shit that girls have been doing for decades. It's our turn to actually start using some of that. That's the first thing. Second component we have, oh, okay, let's get into is how natural do you look in the photos? So on top of looking your best version of yourself, you wanna look natural, not post. The vibe you wanna give off is you were doing some cool activity and some paparazzi just popped out of nowhere and took a picture of you, right? You didn't even know the camera was there. So let's take a look at these two photos back to back. Same guy, same shirt, same whatever. First one looks quite post, it's like, right? That's pretty post. Second one looks a lot more natural, even though he's still sitting there. It just kinda looks like he was chilling and someone took a picture of him. So again, you want your photos to look natural, as natural as possible, which is why activity photos are the best. I see guys who don't have profiles, just them standing around six pictures. That's not attractive to grill. One or two photos where you're just chilling is fine, but you also wanna get some activity pictures in there. And you're gonna see that as we take a look at my profile. Here's another example, so different guy, first one he's standing around, kinda like that, pretty post. Second one looks a lot more natural. He's just chilling, right? It looks a lot more natural. Okay, moving on. So three other things to consider. Picture quality, you might be thinking, oh well, you haven't talked about the camera quality and all that. This used to be much more relevant five, 10 years ago. So 10 years ago, yes. There was a big difference between the photo you could take on your phone and the photo you could take on a DSLR camera. Now, with the iPhone 12 Pros and whatnot, it's basically the same shit. Like, yeah, you can get a little bit higher quality, but you don't get at bonus points for getting that super high quality. It's largely a threshold thing. Either your photo looks grainy and pixelated because you used a shitty flip phone, or it looks decent high quality, right? So this is why I don't really stress the picture quality anymore. The background vibe. So if I had to pick factor number three, that matters, it would be this. So quite often I see guys, they have a good photo, maybe it looks natural, but it looks like there's a bunch of crack heads in the back and there's some shady alley, right? Like an environment that doesn't look good. That's a little bit of an extreme example, but the background of the vibe does matter. When we go through my Tinder, I'm gonna show you guys my personal Tinder profile photos, you're gonna see, you know, the background's actually good. It's not like some shady shit. And the vibe of the photo. What vibe does the photo give off? If you're curious about this, send your photo to a few girls that you know. Hopefully you know a few girls if not send it to your mom's friends, whatever. Send it out and get some feedback. Professional photo shoot, yes or no? So a little mixed answer on that. Yes, professional photo shoots can be good, but I've also seen many situations where the professional photo shoots got fucked up because most pro photographers don't know how to take natural looking photos. They're used to taking photos for resumes and for head shots, but you want natural activity photos. So you have to specifically stress that to your professional photographer. Me personally, less than 10% of my photos were taken by a professional photographer. Most of them were taken by either my friends, my mom, my dog, whatever. Like just people in my life where I didn't have to spend extra money on it. It's not that I'm trying to save money, it's just that with my guidance I can give them basically the same results from doing, you know, just giving them the camera, right? So you're gonna see this a little bit more as we go through. All right, let's take a look at my profile. Are you guys ready, excited for this? All right. So let's take a look at this. We got, so we got six photos. First photo is just a solid head shot. I look good in this, like wouldn't you guys say I look better in this than I do in real life? I would say so, right? It's a solid photo and that's what I want. I want to look a little bit better in my photos than I do in real life. If I look worse in my photos, that's a bad photo. Second of all, we got a shirtless selfie. Now you might be thinking, dude, I thought you can't do shirtless selfies, that's a big no-no. Misconception, I used to think that too until I tried it and it worked. So it does screen out some girls, but keep in mind I'm looking for, you know, to hook up with a lot of chicks, right? My attractive girls, but I'm not looking, you know, for a wife, right? So it's really good for that. Maybe if you have the body, if you're skinny or you're fat, no, do not use a shirtless photo. But if you have the body, you know, then you can work. And this is a little quick little side note, you might be thinking, oh dude, you have good genetics. No, I've always had shitty genetics. I've been 130, 135 pounds, pretty much all my life. I'm 175 now, that's because I train. Now part of it is TRT, I'm not gonna downplay that, but also a big part of it is being training, my diet and all that stuff, which allowed me to get that sexy shirtless photo. Third one, we got the barbecue photo. So this was very easy to set up, you might be like, oh, but dude, I don't know how to barbecue. Neither do I. So we were in Medellin and we saw a cool barbecue, cool background, I'm like, yo, let's get some photos. We took 50 photos that day and this one came out good. There's nothing even on the grill, doesn't matter. It just comes out to perception, right, perception. This one is me pouring wine. This was actually taken by my mom. So she was drinking some wine on our little balcony or whatever the fuck it is or top. And I was like, mom, get some pictures of me wearing my nice little dress shirt, right? So we got that photo, bike. I don't know how to ride a bike for shit, especially this badass bike. My delivery driver, he has this bike. He was dropping off some shit from me. I was like, yo, man, that's a badass bike. Let me get a picture on there. Took some pictures. We took like 30 photo, 40 pictures that day. Then we used the face tune app to give me a smile and bam, solid photo, right? Perfect for online dating. And last up, no one can say no to the dog pic. So you might think, oh, dog pics, isn't that so cliche? No, they work. Girls like dog pics, they find them endearing and it builds comfort because they're like, you know how bad can this guy be who has a dog? I've had situations where girls were like, you know, you kind of look like a douche bag, but then I saw the dog and decided to give you a shot. So there we have it. All right, next is the bio. And guys often get confused about the bio. What's the role of the bio? Guys think, oh, you know, I can make the girl attracted to me with a good bio. No, you're gonna make the girl attracted to your photos. There are other things that you can do with the bio. You can hook the girl, give her a nice hook so that if she matches with 50 other guys who are similar sexual market value as you, she's gonna be more inclined to talk to you because you hooked her. Or she's gonna even open you and message you first. You're gonna see that happening quite a bit as we go through some examples because I hooked the girl. Screen the girl. Screening out the girls who are not what I'm looking for. Again, there's no right or wrong here. If you're looking for a relationship from average, that's fine. Screen the girl in a different way than me. But either way, whenever you're looking for it, you wanna screen for girls who are looking for the same things. And set the frame. So the reason you're gonna see I'm able to sexualize quite quickly in my texting is because I already set a sexual frame in the bio. So let's say my bio is like, hi, my name is Alex. You know, I just moved here. Can't wait to meet some nice lady and go on a beach date, blah, blah. I love sun shines and unicorns and blah, blah, blah. And then, you know, my first message is like, hey, I can't wait to bend you over and pound that. You know, like, it's gonna be very congruent, right? Girls gonna be like, what the fuck, right? So it's gotta be congruent and it sets the frame. So I'm setting a nice subtle sexual frame. So let's go through this. Six O Miami, my passion is traveling around the world and seductively whispering in your ear. Why is that a good sentence? It DHVs me, which is PUA lingo for display higher value. The first part of DHVs me on is that's a different language, Russian, cool. Second part is that travel. And third part is it kinda sexualizes. Like, ooh, like, whisper Russian in my ear. So commonly I would get girls who open me and say, oh, I didn't know Russian could be sexy. Or like, ooh, when are you gonna whisper Russian in my ear? So it's very good at hooking. Strengths, being dominant, BDSM, cracking inappropriate jokes and cuddling. Being dominant, BDSM, that sexualizes and that hooks because as you guys, most of you guys know, women are sexually submissive, like 99% of the time. And BDSM also hooks a lot of girls are like, oh, I've never tried BDSM. Maybe you can teach me about it. Cracking inappropriate jokes, kinda just to throw some humor in there, plus it's true. And cuddling, that's again, to kinda bounce it out. I don't wanna be too fuck boyish, I wanna bounce it out a little bit. Weaknesses, great ass and accents. These are the things that I personally like. I live in Miami, where every chick has a great ass and accent, if I live in Scandinavia, it might be like tall legs and like blonde hair or something like that, right? But yeah, so quite often girls will message me and they'll say, oh, you know, I have two of your weaknesses, stuff like that. So again, that also hooks the girl and gets her to open you. All right, next we're gonna jump into the texting portion of this. So hopefully you guys are pretty clear by now how to set up your profile. Yeah, so now we're gonna go into the second part of the equation, which is the texting. Now that you get matches coming in, how do you convert those into dates? And we're gonna go through examples. I think this is probably gonna be the most valuable part of my speech because you're gonna see a live breakdown of texting, like what should you do, what should you not do. And we're gonna go in order from easy to hard. So we got some easy interactions, some medium and some hard ones. Oh, let me first break this down. They're the text game framework. So guys often overcomplicate texting. And if you wanna truly master text game, yeah, it's pretty nuanced. There's a lot of shit there. It's not gonna happen overnight. But if you wanna be just good enough to be sufficiently proficient at it, sufficiently proficient I just made out, to be proficient at it, then yeah, it's actually pretty simple. And it comes down to five things, just five things. Opening, that's getting the conversation started. That's it, that's the whole part of the opener. Building investment and banter. So this is just getting the conversation going, getting her talking. The more she invests, which means the more she writes, the more likely she is to comply when you ask her out on a date. So let's say the girl's giving you short one word answers and you're like, hey, let's go on a date. She's either gonna disappear or if she greaves she's gonna be flaky. Whereas as if she's investing, paragraphs and paragraphs, she's gonna be a lot more compliant, she's gonna be a lot more down because we all wanna see return on our investment no matter what our investment is. So that's this part. And again, it's the same thing as banter, right? Not even wondering, okay, but how much is enough investment? This is why this stuff is an art not science. There's no exact number I can give you guys. I can say for me, generally speaking, it's between two and seven screenshots worth of conversation before I'm going for the meetup, but there's exceptions. If I sense the girl's down to meet, I'll bring up the close, the first screenshot, right, the first few texts. So it heavily depends on the situation. Optimally closing, this is the part where most guys fuck up. So it's pretty sad because I do a lot of coaching calls and I'll see guys, they do everything right and then they get sloppy on the close. So there'll be something like, hey, you wanna hang out on Tuesday at eight o'clock and the girl's like, oh, sorry, I'm busy. And they're like, fuck, shit, didn't work Alex. That's poor closing. The steps to closing are threefold. One, soft close. We should get together sometime soon. A general proposition that's very easy for her to agree to. So let's say I'm trying to do a podcast with one of you guys, right? I'm like, hey, we should do a podcast sometime soon. It's much easier for you to agree to that than, hey, we should do a podcast tomorrow night at eight o'clock. Soft close. Second part, figure out her schedule. What's your schedule like? You free Thursday or Friday night. What evenings are you free this week? There's more than one way to skin that cat, but you wanna figure out her schedule because if you're just throwing dates out there, right? You're just basically blindly throwing darts at a dartboard. Sometimes you'll hit, but most often you'll miss. So you wanna figure out her schedule and then hard close. So cool, we should get together sometime soon. Yeah, sounds good. Cool, what's your schedule like? Oh, you know, I'm free Fridays and Saturdays after eight. Cool, let's do Friday, say nine. Yeah, sounds good. Bam, bam, bam, bam. And now I'm gonna be like, cool, shoot your number. And then number four, confirming. So you do wanna confirm. There's this misconception in Red Pill community that confirming is low value. You just wanna show up to the date. No, pure nonsense. You wanna confirm, right? Because if you don't, the girls just gonna thank you for God. And last one is answering concerns and objections if they come up. Sometimes they don't. You're gonna see examples where there's no concerns or objections that come up. But if they do, you have to be able to answer them. And there's a difference between a shit test, a concern, and objection. And you're gonna see this as we go through the text interactions. All right, let's start off with examples. So we got nerdy Polish blonde. Let's get into this. This is gonna be one of the easy ones. So, pardon my bad vision. So my opener is, do you speak English? Cause this was in Poland. She says, yep, I say good. Are you in Warsaw, right? I'm just trying to figure out her logistics. I wanna make sure she's actually in the area. I am four kilomotors away from you. Of course I'm in Warsaw, how's your weekend? Even better, it's good. Finish the killer workout, looking nice and fit for our date. This is how I'm kind of flirting with her, but I'm also moving things towards the meetup. And when is it? That's a buying question. If she said, ha, ha, cool. That's not a buying question. That's her like, okay, I need more banter. When she says, when is it? Buying question, I wanna move things forward. It's like going back to Wolf of Wall Street or actually Boiler Room when the client's like, oh, you know, what's your firm minimum? Buying question, that's who you wanna go for the close. Depends, do you like wine? I do like drinking it. And then I say, good, come join me for a glass. So that's the soft clothes. Where are you then? Another buying question. I give her my address in Poland. She says, I don't live there anymore. It's just visiting. I can get there in half an hour, but will you be there then? So bam, she jumps on it, right? This is gonna be a same day close, as we call it, or a same day date. She says, yeah, that works message. So I say, yeah, that works message for me on WhatsApp. She says, I don't have, I have message only apparently. Weird, okay. I say, you can text me, I have the international plan. I just misspelled that. Okay, I'm right next to the building. You are here, blah, blah, blah, bam. Easy, two screenshots. And this girl comes over. She's actually really cool. I'm not gonna show her pictures because it's the only one I had as a nude and that would be probably like breaking some rule, but we hung out for like 20, 30 minutes. She's a cool, blonde, Polish nerd. And then we hooked up, right? And it was a good time. So very easy. Now most of your interactions will not be this easy, but they can be. Like sometimes you'll just get layups like this. The key is, can you pick up on those layups? All right, so let's take a look at the next one. Hello, investment girl. So we got this lovely lady. Okay, this was in Miami. Let's jump into this. Olalinda, why did I say Olalinda? She's Spanish, right? I just assumed, yeah, she looks Spanish. She says, hey, I say, how's your Sunday Funday going? Not that fun, just working a lot. How about you? I say, good, dam, sounds like you could use a little stress relief. So again, fun and flirty, just like in the last interaction. Oh, I finished a workout looking nice and fit for our date. I'm not just gonna beat around the bush forever. I'm gonna start making things flirty from the start. She says, yeah, that could help. I say, I'll get the wine and massage oil ready. Again, making things fun and flirty. Okay, wait, did I skip one? Hang on one second. Okay, there we go. I say, okay, so yeah, she says all bed. I said, you have WhatsApp. So I move it to text pretty fast because she's giving me low investment responses. You can see it's just like one word, all bed, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna see if she's gonna be a little bit more responsive over text. It's a tactic. Like if the girl's now responsive over messenger, I'll try to move her text and see if she's gonna be more responsive there. Plus I can use voice memos, which can be really good. I do have WhatsApp, of course, number. She gives me a number. And then for some reason I still message her on iMessage. Alex, hi, how's your Friday going? It's good. Not so much to do. How about yours? I sent her a picture of my dog. So pictures are great. If you don't have a dog, you can send other pictures. Like for example, I knew a guy. I think this was John Anthony's friend, Sonny. He had a picture of like the steak that he cooked once and whenever a girl would ask him, what are you up to? He's like, just finished cooking this and it's just like this giant ribeye, which obviously, you know, penis reference, you know, ribeye, blah, blah. Anyway, so we got the dog. I say pretty good, just hanging out with this guy. Aw, he's very cute. Thanks, he says he's excited to meet you. So even though I'm flirting with her, I'm still moving things towards the meetup in a very smooth way. She says, ha ha, bet, he said that, well, I hope you like it rough. That's a little joke, rough, rough. She says that I'm excited to meet him too. Good, do you like wine? Yeah, to be honest, I've tasted wine like once or twice, but I've never been or have interest to drink it. I have to kill a kind of girl. I'd say it's a lie. So here we're just talking about lie, but I don't like alcohol. I'm having to get together with family and friends. How about you? Just not a drinker, that's okay. I actually don't really like to drink that much either. I like to kill them in whiskey mainly, but we can make you a nice Shirley Temple. For anyone who didn't have Jewish friends growing up, Shirley Temple's like a non-alcoholic drink that they used to do in Temple. We, me and the husky, that sounds nice then. Good, we should get together sometime soon. That's the soft clothes right there. Even though I've kind of built up to it, that's the actual soft clothes. Yes, she agrees. Then I say, what's her schedule like? Now we're figuring out her schedule. Whenever, not the answer we want. I say, how about tomorrow night? Yeah, that sounds good. So tomorrow, what time and where? My romantic balcony, say 10.30. So this is important to mention. When I'm inviting, making plans for the girl, I have plan A and plan B. Plan A is to get her straight to my place. Now not all girls will be down with that, but like 50% will. If they're not, that's fine. I'll meet them at born nearby. I just understand that some girls feel some type of way about it because they don't know me, right? That's okay. I'm gonna meet them born nearby, but I'm always gonna have that be plan A because let's face it, it's gonna work 50% of the time. If it doesn't work, I can always meet them nearby. It doesn't work here. Well, we do not know each other, so I prefer public place, stranger danger, of course. Alrighty, let's meet at red bar then. Okay, better, where are you from? So here, what happens? Let's try to read between the lines. Why is she asking me where I'm from? So she just agreed to a date, but then she's like, shit, I don't really know this guy. I wanna feel like I know him better. So if I stop responding here, she's not gonna feel comfortable to go on the date. So I do need to build a little bit more comfort, which is basically what she's getting at. So I say, where I was born, where I live, born. Russia, we moved here when I was seven. Since when have you been to Miami? Been here for three years. I was in LA before that, all nice. And then day of the date, I believe. Oh yeah, all the way into hey, hey, still good for tonight? Confirmation. Yes, I knew. See, let's meet at red bar at 11, not too late though because I'm moving to another house so I have to wake up early tomorrow. I have a video at nine, I might be able to finish by 1030, it's okay. No problem, cool, see you then. And credit to John Anthony for that text. I gave him a little round of applause, gonna hop in the shower, text went on the way. Got that from him on my way. And almost there, I said, just get out, gonna head over here and then, so quick backstory. So what happens, we meet at a bar. She was definitely a lot more shy than the previous girl, which had for like an hour, one of going back to my place and hooking up. Even though she was like super shy and reserved, which I like more outgoing girls, still a good time. That was hot, good to know. Look at that, I say, loved the enthusiasm, ha, what else would I say? I had fun too, worse, I had fun too. Yeah, anyway, example three, being persistent. So now we're getting more into the more difficult type of situations. So yeah, so this is gonna be, you're gonna see a situation of a girl where I have to re-engage multiple times, where I have to be persistent. Hey Trouble, hiya, I like your style. Thanks, I like your dog. Dogs are amazing. How are you doing today? I say, yeah, he's the best, is yours in the pic also, because she had a pic with a dog. He's like, yeah, blah, blah, blah. He's a mini sensor of that. I say, yeah, we can go on a double date. So again, taking the conversation thread and using it to suggest a date, moving things forward. I'm always gonna be doing that. I'm always gonna be moving things forward. Well, sounds fun. Hopefully they get along as good as we will. Right, so again, I'm assuming a positive outcome. I'm assuming that we're already gonna meet up. I'm not saying, oh, maybe we will get along well too. No, I'm assuming that's gonna happen. It's a better frame. Ha ha, I'm sure they will. What do you like to do for fun in Miami? And then it's like 7 a.m., so clearly I'm asleep and she doesn't, so she double texts me. And hoping you don't mind a bit of boldness. Wondering if I get your number. I went to business and get quite busy. I enjoy traveling, going to the gym, reading and various content activities. Just missing a little and sir her name in my life. This is a really great text to use. When a girl asks you, what do you do for fun? And then I wanna reward her. I say, I like boldness, give her my number. And then she doesn't text me. So I wait two days and I say, don't be shy. This is a takeaway. So she says, hey cuties, blah, blah, blah. I say, ah, the cute chick with a dog. Oh, yep, colorful hair and dog. I say, don't get me too excited now. She doesn't respond. Okay, I wait a few days. So when you're double texting a girl, you don't wanna do it like right away. You wanna give it a little bit of time. Hey girl, happy Thursday, Ron Gosling meme. This is great to use. And then she doesn't respond. I give it like four days and I say, are you always this talkative? I'm hitting her with a takeaway, right? She says, sorry, hectic days. So I disconnect it a bit from Tinder and all that jazz. Okay, let's switch here. Could I ask you a totally unique and non-stereotypical question? What are you looking for? What are you looking for? So I say, very unique. To me, the cool girl I have chemistry with maybe break my multiple orgasms record. Let's unpack that text. It's important that you say both parts of this text. Cause if I had just said, I'm just looking to meet a girl I can break my orgasms record with. She'd be like, fuck boy, whatever. The to meet a cool girl I have chemistry with kinda counteracts that. And sometimes you wanna just leave it at that. You can just say, what are you looking for? To meet a cool girl I have chemistry with. That's it, simple. This part sexualizes it though. So that's why I like it. Ooh, now you're the one getting me excited. Well, I'm pretty open-minded with regards to what I'm looking for. But I do prefer to meet and get to know someone first. Wondering if that's a deal breaker. Let's read between the lines. What is she getting at? Basically what she's saying is I don't want you to have the expectation of sex when we first meet. I wanna have the option not to fuck you. Basically, that's really what she's getting at. And most girls will feel that way. Most girls don't wanna feel like you're expecting sex before they met you. I say, not all. I like to build some chemistry first as well, it also makes the sex way better. Now I want you guys to remember this text because it'd be important. This is the one part in this interaction where I kind of messed up. What I should have done is I should have just left the second part out. I should have just said, not all. I like to build some chemistry first as well. I sort of misread her. I didn't realize how much, even though she's kind of alternative that she still has a lot of hang-ups about sex, which will become apparent a little bit later on. And she doesn't respond. So then I double-text her a few days later where you're hoping for a different answer. No response. I waited about a week, now five days and I sent her the skeleton meme. Waiting for you to text back like, dead, right? This works really well. Sends me a GIF, listen to me, if we break quarantine we could all die. I say, aren't you? She works in the medical field. Law GIF was not serious by the way. Yeah, I worked in the offer a bit, typically blah, blah. I say, sounds like you could use a little stress relief. No. Am I wrong? No. Then I hit her with a little bit of a harder takeaway. I honestly did not take you for the flaky type. That's a very effective text when the girl's been ghosty or flaky at getting the conversation started because no girl wants to be known as the flaky type. Simple as that. I'm really not, but I'm not just looking for a hookup. There we go. That is the underlying objection. We finally got to the bottom of it. When you get to the underlying objection, it's very easy to address it. How am I gonna address this? I could just be like, oh, I'm not looking for just a hookup either. But she's gonna be like, yeah, of course you're saying that. It's much better if I do some inception shit and get her to question her initial assumption. So I say, and when exactly did I say I was looking for just a hookup? And you can see how well this works. True, never directly. I guess I assume based on flirty texts and mentioning sex, which I'm not against, but Tinder does have a reputation. Yeah, I do like me some flirty texts, but no, I'm over one night stands, always found them a bit unfulfilling, plus sex gets way better after we build some chemistry. That's actually true. I believe that firmly. I actually prefer to meet the girl multiple times if we click rather than just a one night stand. Well, I have to agree with that. A little tension makes things more interesting in my opinion and I apologize for assuming too many people looking for that. Now that we address the objection, it's all gonna be smooth sailing from here. So you're gonna see a complete shift. So, hmm, attention can be quite rewarding. It's cool, I'm glad we got, we're on the same page. So what have you been doing during quarantine? So a little banter, I say, mainly been getting my work done, perhaps it can be my distraction. So now that we're back on track, I'm gonna again start moving things towards the meetup. I'm not just gonna banter with her forever. So looking for someone to prevent you from getting work done, perhaps if you play your cards right, I say maybe a cute one with colorful hair. Do you like wine? So yeah, moving things forward. She says that she doesn't drink, maybe a fun mocktail for her. I say, all right, we can share Shirley Temple on my romantic balcony. She says, not scared away. I like that, sounds like a nice evening. By the way, I've got nothing against others drinking. Just wanted to mention that, LOL. Nothing special here, I say. Oh, it takes a lot more than to scare me away. What's her schedule like? We soft close, now I'm figuring out her schedule. Hurt my wrist at work, so I'm off for a bit. Guess it's a good, bad thing with everything going on. Besides that, I've got a couple of things to do but I'm free after Thursday. Now imagine if instead of saying what's your schedule like, I was like, cool, let's get together Tuesday night. She would have to be like, I actually can't do Tuesday night. Oh, how about Wednesday? I can't do Wednesday. Now we're entering negative compliance. You don't want that. You can skip back completely by simply asking her what her schedule like. It's so simple, but so few people do it. Okay, let's go to the next one. Ah, there we go. How about you? I say, damn, I'll be sure to kiss it. I'll be sure to kiss it and make it feel better. It's a little humor. Same, I have a long call tomorrow, but how about Tuesday or Wednesday night? She says, Wednesday's probably better. Any parks near you would be opposed to meeting one first. So she's basically saying, I don't want to meet straight at your place. Again, a lot of girls will feel that way. All right, Wednesday night it is. And yes, there's two, stranger danger. I don't know, should I be worried or should you? So I say, neither of us, I have a good feeling about this. So I'm comforting her. We can take my dog for a walk. I'd love to meet your pup. All of the dogs that have the huskies send her this picture. Ah, what a cutie girl, boy, you've never given me an opening task about your tattoos, now you've given me. Okay, so here's a little banter. I say, oh, maybe our dragons will become best friends. I think the one screenshot's missing is me sending her a picture of the dragon having my arm. Maybe a little, I guess we'll find out soon. Just wondering where do you stay by. I sent her my address. She says, it didn't have to be your exact address. I guess you trust me, but a little actually happened to live in that area. Hoback and some with Q Dog B. So again, you can see that even though we're coordinating logistics, it's still fun in Florida. It's not overly formal. She's like, blah, blah, blah. Not too far, I think her life will survive. And then day of the day, what time are you free tonight? That's the confirmation text. Hey, good afternoon, on the way back home. Should be free around nine. Does that work for you? Yeah, perfect. This is all just logistics. There's no point in me reading this. There's coordinating logistics. Oh, wait, actually go help the part where I say that was hot. So I always send this text after I hook up with a girl. Two reasons. The first one, I don't really, it's kind of not my favorite topic, but in the whole Me Too area, you can never be too sure. I know that obviously me and the girl had a good time and that it was all fine, but I'd rather just feel better if she just says, yeah, I had fun too. Because that in a million years, maybe she changes her mind, that protects me. So that's one reason. The second reason is simply because I wanna show her that I had a good time with her, which will allow me to see her again. If I don't text her back, she's gonna think, oh, he just wanted a one night stand. And then a week from now, when I try to hang out with her again, she's gonna disappear. So it's always good after you hook up with a girl to say that you had a good time. And let's take a look at the last example. This is gonna be a hot Polish Virgin. So you're gonna see how I hooked up with a Virgin. I know a lot of guys are into that. Me personally, I'm not, but it was an experience. So we got this fine lady right here. All right, swipe right for long legs. That's the opener. Again, just getting the conversation started. Swipe right for great abs. Thanks, I've been looking for someone to oil them up. So yeah, fun and flirty. Have you found already? Still accepting applications? You get a lot of applications, huh? Yes, but I got a great feeling about you. I have really soft and delicate hands. So again, you can see like now, it's getting fun and flirty right away, which is basically how most of my interactions go. Okay, just perfect to take care of your abs. And I have really soft lips, perfect to take care of you. I see, what lip balm do you use? The one designed specifically for men with great oral skills. So I'm combining humor with sexuality, which is a really good combination. Interesting, you can't find it in a store. I say nope, only available to members of the 50 plus oral orgasms club. And I accidentally send that twice. Oh, this is a very popular club. Not easy to become a member, only the best can get there. Yes, it took a lot of hard work, but the crown is safely mine. Just good banter, you're an oral king. Have you ever been with a king? Only with president, king, president, ha ha. Do you like wine? I love wine, white wine, good. Let's spill a bottle of my romantic balcony. So that's the soft clothes. Encouraged to John Anthony for the sequence. I kind of modified a little bit, but the original idea, I believe, was his. She says, oh, sounds like a plan. You think one ball's enough? Don't worry, I'm always have a few extra ones. You feeling spontaneous tonight? So I'm trying to get over that night. She says, I feel spontaneous tomorrow. Point taken, she doesn't want to meet tonight. Just gonna meet her tomorrow. Sometimes guys get too dead set, like I gotta meet her that night, I gotta meet her that night. No, you can meet her the following night, it's not a big deal. That works, eight is okay. Perfect, show me your number. I always, when we make plans, move things to text because that gives you an extra buffer against flaking. It's an extra buffer of comfort and investment. Hey, it's Alex, hey Alex, how's your evening going? Still at work, that's why I can't be spontaneous tonight. What about you? Went out with a few friends, but woke up this morning and my tongue was feeling strong, real strong. She says, you have more than one tongue? I say maybe. She says, this is very interesting and honestly I have no idea that your tongue strong is good. Well, you'll find out tonight, mm-hmm. And then day of the date, I get this. Thumb, thumb, thumb. Hey, Alex, I think our meeting won't go with a plan you have in mind. Meeting with strangers for one is not my cup of tea. I thought it might work, I thought it might work but it won't, so don't waste your time. Now a lot of guys might take a look at a text like this and be like, oh fuck, it doesn't work out. Okay, that might be the case, but it sounds like she just has cold feet. Maybe I can address her concern. This isn't more of a concern. As she's not objecting, she's concerned about this whole thing. So maybe I can address that. So I say, where is this coming from? She doesn't respond. The tricky thing about addressing concerns is girls usually shut down, they don't respond. I call her, because I know if I can get her on the phone, I can probably address the problem. She doesn't pick up. So I say, I can't seduce you with my Spanish if you don't pick up. She says, oh man, no seducing. That might be a thing, dude, it's done at this point. You would be wrong. Well, can you tell me what your concerns are? I liked how open-minded you were and was looking forward to meeting you. So I'm persistent but I'm not aggressive. I'm not calling her out. I'm not, you know, going hard on her. I'm persistent but I'm not needy and I'm not aggressive. She says, we didn't talk so much. You can't tell if I'm open-minded, not equal to sexually open. I want to meet you but I'm not interested in having sex with a stranger. So I don't want to waste your time. But why is she not interested in having sex with a stranger today? Because yesterday, she was interested in having sex with a stranger. So what changed in 24 hours? We need to figure that out. So I say, do you suddenly hate sex or something? So sometimes I use humor. She says, yes, it's a big turn on in my life. So I say, let's be honest. You were super down yesterday in this morning and you're doing a complete 180. It's totally normal to get cold feet or get a little nervous. I was yesterday, I'm not today. So here, she's not giving me her underlying concern or objection so I'm just gonna start throwing things out there. Like Hail Mary's, are you worried about being a judge or me thinking you're easy? That's a common one. Lot of girls are worried about that. None of it is just not what I want. Then I hit her with my second one. So you're a virgin. Just throwing it out there. It hits, dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. We're the one. I say, it's okay if you are and then you can see, will you be gentle with me? Now we're getting somewhere. Yes I can be, oh man. Let's chat on the phone for a minute or two. Okay, now I've addressed her concern enough to at the very least get her on the phone. I don't have enough compliance to get her over but I have enough compliance to get her on the phone. We're talking on the phone for like half an hour. Honestly, it's just pretty normal conversation. We're just like talking about travel and shit. She sees that I'm a normal person. I tell her, listen, I understand it's your first time. We will go slow. If you don't wanna do anything, we don't have to. We can just hang out. All the stuff that you wanna say in a situation like that. She's like, okay, cool. So she comes over. I guess I'll be there in 15 minutes. Perfect. I'm on the street coming. I like to spell that C-U-M. It's always a nice little way to troll. And then that was far. Yes, it was. Thanks for the huge hickeys. Ah-ha, you're welcome. Bam. That is the very much the gist of it. So now you guys have the profile aspect of it. You have all the misconceptions broken down and you have the texting portion of it. So you have the keys to crush online dating. Now for more resources, we have many. So if you guys are like, oh, this was good so I wanna get a little bit more in depth. We have it all. YouTube, playingwithfiredating.com. Follow us on YouTube. We're currently sitting at 75,000 subscribers. Trying to take that to a million. So show your support. And we got a lot of free tutorials on there. Website, playingfire.com. We have a lot of free tips and guides on there. So playingfire.com. Go under the tips and guides section. You can see a bunch of them. And forums.playingfire.com. So we actually have forums where you can get help from me. Like I'm not even gonna charge you anything. Like I try to be active in the forums that we created. These are our personal forums. I check it maybe once every two or three days. I try to help people to the best of my ability. So yeah, so those are the big things. Let's take some questions if you guys have some. All right, yeah, just go up to the micro there please. Hey, is this huh? Yeah. Yeah, I think it's interesting to note that I think the match group they found that the top three performing online pictures are shirtless ripped abs, guy with a dog and like thrilling adventurous shot. So have you found with your clients? I know with my guys, the puppy ones, even if the guy looks like kind of terrible, it still gets like a nine. Those things are big. The shirtless ones, but we have to, the shirtless one, if the guy has the body, right? It can't be like some fatty like, you know, like, you know, that's like the shirtless photo. But yes, if he has the body, those can work really well. The puppy pics just work great across the board, even though you might think they're overplayed and action adventure, it's always good. You do want to have one photo where you clearly show your face and you know, like you're, you know, you're just your whole frame. But yeah, you do want to have mainly activity pics. So I would agree with that. What else we got? Come on, don't be shy. You guys got any questions? Nobody? All right, well, that's my speech. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Hopefully you guys found some value out of this. Again, for more information, check out these resources and yeah, keep crushing the boys.