 It is a very strong effort and I think occupies an important space in the dating landscape. Try not to be shady. Hello there, lovers. Yo, I'm so excited for today's video. I want to discuss something that I've been talking about a lot privately and I want to share this conversation with you all. And that conversation is about this conversation. This book right here by Britney Raider, known as Bundle of Britney or Bundles of Britney. Maybe please say to ask, not sure, but it's called Judge This Cover, which by the way, fire ass title. And on top of that, fire ass cover. Brilliant. I mean, I wouldn't use that word, but I think it was a very, very good book and I want to talk about it today and all the controversy that surrounds it. This is going to kind of go back and forth between like a number of different perspectives on this, but I just want to give them like an off the top rating. I would say this book is a great buy and probably maybe like a 3.75 out of five stars. And that's a decent rating for a first time author who most impressively at all published this book herself. And I don't know if she used a professional editor or enlisted the help of like an experienced writer or just made this a stream of consciousness, which is how it reads, which I think is great because she is somebody who is famous for being herself. So it's appropriate that her book really does feel exactly like her. Actually, one of my criticism would be that I wish it was a little bit more of her personality and less of her trying to be a writer, which I don't know her, so that might be incorrect. But I did feel like she's got a great sense of humor. I think her natural wit is really her strength. And this book only has that like a few times here and there. Now, mind you, this ain't no laughing matters. That could be a big part of it. But I want to give my impression of the book and first start off by saying that I am proud of this woman. I am proud of the space that she occupies. When people ask me about Amber Rose as a relationship with sex educator or about Brittany Rainer, I think it's fantastic. Sex, love, relationships are natural drives. They are basic human instincts. And so we need a plethora of people and of guides to get us through this very important part of our life. It's kind of like cooking. Like we have to eat to survive. And so there are tons of chefs out there and it depends what your given cuisine of choice is. Like that's what kind of chef you should go to. It should be the same with intimacy educators. There should not be five of us out there with only specific qualifications. There should be a gamut of people for us to all choose from. And I think that she is an interesting choice and she takes up a very necessary space. So when somebody wrote me because I ordered the book like as soon as it came out, I was actually real hyped from the promo of it. And I will say my half disappointment with the book and I get it is like the whole celebrity feather around it took away from I think what the intent of the copy was. It's like you needed one for the other. You need the whole celebrity thing to sell the book, but then it also sold the book short in the process. And it was just dead ass wrong. Like before I even had the book in hand, I read the like here's who the seven people actually are. And then when you read the book, you're like, no, that ain't true. Like not even like, it's like, you just didn't read it properly. Like one of the dudes is dead ass a lawyer. And like not as like a fake career like the whole it's clear this dude is actually a lawyer. And then when you research it, he actually did data and he was a lawyer, whatever is clever. But in the list of names, people like it's tiger tiger hasn't gone to law and or school. So I just feel like that was incorrect. And it just set the whole tone of the book off. And I, I don't know if that was intentional for her, but I think it did take away from the fact that this was essentially about the crimes that young women experience when just simply trying to connect love and be loved. So somebody asked me what my review of the book was and I said it is literally the kind of book that I would have written at 25 years old, which is how old she was when she wrote this book, because so many people have done heinous crimes to you that you cannot go to the police for. People have hurt you in unimaginable ways that you never thought that you would experience. And yet there's nothing you can do about it. There, there's nowhere to go. There's nowhere for any kind of like reparations. And so writing about it almost feels like your justice. And this felt like her police report in and I actually thought that the length was perfect. Some people complained that it was too short. Maybe because I listened to people talk about their relationships for a living. It's not that interesting to me after a while. I'm like, okay, I know what you're talking about move on. And so I thought that the 117 pages when you break that up, roughly like 15 pages per or 20 pages per lover that she's had. And then she gives some background information about herself. So I thought that it was actually appropriately put together in terms of length. What I will say though, as I made that, you know, statement out loud that this book is my book that I would have written at 25, I realized stupid. This is the book that you wrote at 24. I wrote late. This is not a promo, but you know what I mean, but I wrote late when I was 24 years old and it's young people's experiences with sex and an easy access culture. Now, the difference that I took is that I wanted to share what I've gone through. I wanted to share the lessons that I learned the hard way, but I cased it in education. Now, mind you, I probably didn't sell a tenth the amount that Brittany did. So kudos to her because she found a way to give you guys intimacy education that you would actually purchase. But nonetheless, I went the educational route with a packaging of mine. And so it wasn't a scandal. It was a resource for people. And I also included stories of other people. In addition, though, not only like, am I authoring some of the short stories in the book, but I have, I ghost wrote. I mean, I'm meaning that I wrote things that were about me that I put under a different name so that I wouldn't be outing people or that I wouldn't be sharing details that I wasn't comfortable with everyone knowing about me, but still gave that information out there because it is relatable. So on one hand, I applaud her for her bravery of putting herself completely out there in ways that I didn't do. I probably wouldn't do to this day, but nonetheless, it's kind of the same thing. When you're at a certain place in your life, you just feel like something has to be done to accommodate and ease all the pain that you have gone through up and to that point. And this is a book about a woman in pain. I love the fact that it doesn't have a happy ending either. It doesn't end with her finding her dream mate or, you know, finding a dream woman. It just kind of ends. And that is the story of a woman in her 20s. I don't think whether you are an Instagram model or whether you are somebody who works at JCPenney. I feel like we can all relate to a lot of the stories that she shared in this book. And that's giving yourself over to somebody who doesn't really give you the time of day or doesn't give you their full energy. I was watching this movie yesterday that was fucking incredible, Mid 90s by Jonah Hill. And it occurred to me that whenever we have coming of age stories for men, relationships are like usually the tertiary element. So initially it's about like football or in this case it's about skateboarding. And then the second plot line is like the families and like their need to find themselves. And then like the third plot line or maybe fourth or fifth is their romantic relationships. Now compare that with women's coming of age stories. Romance is usually like the main plot. It is the purpose of the film. We have that like letters to boys I love, which was the cult class that came up. And relationships be that romantic or friendship. So like what is the driving force? Like we are told as women that is the most important thing to us. That is our defining characteristic. And so when we grow up with that mentality, we at a very young age are trying to make very serious connections at a time where the other half of the population looks at it like, this is a third class problem for me. Like I have to figure out these other things before I even like give the time of day to that. And that's what this book, you know, really did speak to that imbalance that you just experienced naturally in your 20s. Now, spoiler alert, it evens out and not for the better, but just to be fair, men in their 40s and 50s are the loneliest people in the world. And as they get older, they get increasingly lonely because of the lack of emphasis on interpersonal relationships. And close relationships are what make life worth living. And so if you don't know how to develop them or maintain them, you're going to find yourself in a sore spot, no matter how much money or skateboarding tricks that you've acquired. So ultimately the answer to this is that we all have to reprioritize intimacy, education, start talking about it. And a book like this forces that conversation. And so I can only applaud it for doing so things about this book that definitely stood out to me, you know, just the in general emotional abuse that women go through leading with your hopes versus leading with reality, allowing for someone's singular comment to override all of their multitude of actions. And so like in several cases of the book, you can see the person maybe said one thing or maybe they had one conversation that leaned on their hopes and dreams, but nothing that they did before or after that confirm that they actually were that person. And because we're so obsessed with confirming this storyline, like we put our blinders on and just focus on that. And so this book was a good reminder for us to like really look at people for who they are, what they offer and what they say they're willing to give to you. And of course, the responsibility that we have to place on young men, specifically young men who grow up in urban culture, you have to be an extremely intelligent person who is raised with discernment to separate between reality and myth. If you are constantly consuming hip hop and that is your primary source of entertainment. And so every dude that she messes with is, you know, in that culture is of that world. And their actions show that they don't have discernment, that they don't understand what the actual valuable woman is or the value of good communication is, and that they do look at women as prizes to have not as people to help them grow. As far as the whole like tell all thing that everyone's like so steaming mad about, I don't know, maybe like don't get me wrong, like I might not have a finger on like what reality is anymore because I'm inundated with stories about sex and relationships. And so to me, I'm just like, this not crazy unrelatable. I mean, it does mirror what you hear in hip hop. So like the stories of three sums like the kind of sex that she's having, maybe the frequency of sex or the speed that it happens with new partners. It might be alarming to the average person who doesn't have access in the same way. But if you listen to hip hop, it's nothing that you haven't heard before. And so I'm just not a big fan of like, keep it private. It's a secret. Don't tell anybody because it's just like, we kind of have to start talking about it at some point. And we have to hear what other people are doing so that we can discern if we should or shouldn't do that. So I don't think that there's a big deal with her sharing those stories. I don't think any of the information that she shared about any of her sexual partners was particularly incriminating. And I think that she handled, I mean, like the worst thing a woman can probably say in regards of someone's sexual performance is talking about their penis size. And she has a great section in there which addresses, you know, penis size and just like her preference being a large penis, but that that's not the be all and end all and his person to person. I often equate dick size to boob size because like anatomically women don't need more than three to four inches. Like if you do have an active working G spot that you receive pleasure from. And if you are a orgasm or from vaginal penetration, it's probably like the opening where the Bartholome land is and then around the area where like your schemes and your G spot is like that all happens like within this realm. And so it isn't a matter of like the length of the penis, but more so about the angle that you use it one and two, how long you're able to sustain an erection for. So that she kind of manages that really nicely. And that's the only jab she throws at her partners. The rest of it, it actually airs in their favor. Going with the whole like hip hop culture where it's not cool to care. And it's cool to fraternize that multiple partners. All she confirms that all of her partners were actually like that. So if anything, it helps them. So I don't really get what the anger is of her sharing this book. I don't think anybody was hurt by it. And I think it must have been incredibly healing for her. I think it must have been a great experience to put that out there. And I think for people currently going through this, it can be really reaffirming to read that you're not alone. And of course it's like, it's as dumb as ever. But like when Beyonce had the whole lemonade scandal and everyone's like, like if Beyonce can get cheated on, then I don't have to feel as bad. And as stupid as that is, if you're like, if this woman with an ass that's a coffee table can not get the commitment and the honesty that so many of us in our 20s could not get, it just lets us feel like, okay, it's not me. And it probably isn't you. I'd say statistically, it's not you. Mind you, you probably have some shit to work through. I'm not saying you're perfect. Don't put on your crown. But if you're dealing with issues that are happening in this book more than likely, it's not a person thing. It's a people thing. And so yeah, I think this book helps, helps everybody. It was yeah, it's pretty good criticism of the book. I would say the conclusion was a little cray. It's a little cray for me because I'm actually writing a book right now. That is a plug by the way. So I'm doing a book and I'm working with a major publishing company. And so I sent in the first draft and I was so proud of it. And they were like, it reads like a stream of consciousness. And I was like, what are you talking about? Like this is gold. I gave you so many gems. It's like it's just like chocked full of information. And they were like, yeah, but we have to like keep it specific to what the book is about or keep it streamlined or like the human brain can only hold like four facts at a time. So you have to be very sparing with your like mass amounts of information. And so the conclusion of the book was a stream of consciousness. It was like, here is everything I've ever thought in five pages. And so it like had metaphors on top of metaphors. And then in the end, you weren't only quite sure what was being said. I mean, you got the general gist that like, love conquers all, keep fighting, do do do do do do, but it just it was jumbled up with a lot of a lot of words and thoughts, which don't get me wrong. I'm sure if I read it four or five times, I would like appreciate the breadth of it. But as a first time read, it was, it was a little lot for me. Also, the mistakes that I saw, I thought were actually good mistakes because they're telling of the times. There's hella amounts of contradictions in there. I mean, like one page, she's like, I hate this woman. And the next page, she's like, I'll never see her again. That breaks my heart because she was the second mother to me like backs like the same like folds. You're just like, you know, one second, she's like, we had three sums. And the point of three sums for me was to finally get after sex cuddling because my partner never cuddled me after sex and women provided that intimacy, even though I wasn't physically attracted to them. I still got that completion when we had three sums. But then like when they broke up, she's like, I could hardly sleep at night because he wasn't there to cuddle me. You're just like, I thought you said, he didn't cuddle you. So, but that's probably again, like when we're going through that age and we're just feeling, we're not necessarily processing and assessing and analyzing. We're literally just feeling it. It probably does contradict a lot. So yeah, oh, no, that's it. I want to have a conversation with you guys, see how you felt about the book. I do recommend you buy it. If you have been remotely curious about it, and especially if you're like, I'm not going to buy it because it's a celebrity expose. It's really not. I don't think Drake is mentioned in the book. I don't think Tyga is in the book. I think that there are four celebrities. There's three celebrities and then one nonfeit, two nonfamous people, and then one like, you know, someone you wouldn't know by name, but like they have a job of importance. So ultimately, I don't think it is. I like celebrity expose that you thought it was going to be. If that was deterring you, the book is not that. If that's what you wanted, probably don't buy it because it's really not that. It is just a story of a 25, 26-year-old girl who desperately wants something that she's been told her entire life is going to complete her and make her happy. And she has had a very tough time getting a grasp on it, like most of us probably did at her age. And yeah, I liked it. I just want to say as a final note, just in case you is Brittany Rainer watching this video, or you are a Brittany Rainer type watching this video, I want to specifically say to you, girl, keep going, keep writing, keep sharing, keep assessing, keep learning about love and relationships and sharing what you learn with others. Keep the conversation going. You occupy an important space in this really important, massively underrepresented part of our lives. And I'm appreciative for the work that you do. And I hope that despite the criticism that you aren't discouraged to keep sharing and to keep letting people see what the process looks like, because it's not pretty. If you were trying to be a doctor and there was no med school for you and there was no mentors and you had to figure it out as you went along, you'd probably have some train wreck surgeries along the way. And just think of it like that. None of us are really taught how to love. We're not taught the basics of intimate connections. And we're just told, go in there and operate. Just go. Just see what happens. And for a lot of people, this is what happens. This, this is what happens. And it's not perfect, but there's beauty in that. And there's beauty in the connection that sharing these stories can have. So thank you for your contribution to the community. I don't know if that means anything coming from me, but just wanted to share a little piece of my heart to your heart. Good shit. Keep it up.