 This is the Sunday before Christmas. Jack is expecting his whole gang and some of his old friends to drop in for his annual Christmas party. So let's go out to Jack's house in Beverly Hills where we find Jack and Rochester preparing for the occasion. Rochester, hold the broom upside down. What, this boss? Yes. Now spread the straws out a little. And now we'll try these two feathered dusters on the handle. And then, oh, darn it, it fell over again. Here, Rochester, hold it up once more. OK, boss, but if it doesn't work this time, let's go out and buy a Christmas tree. Maybe you're right. What are they selling for now? A dollar a foot. A dollar a foot, huh? Shall I hold the broom up again, boss? No, no, I'll buy a Christmas tree. I'd like to get one that would touch the ceiling. Touch the ceiling? It'll take a $12 tree to do that? Well, not if we put the tree on a box. That'll save you $2. Then we'll put the box on a chair. That'll save you $4. Then we can put the chair on the table. That's $6. Then we'll put the table on the piano. That'll save me $10. What are you laughing at? If we can get the piano and the mantelpiece, we can touch the ceiling without a tree. You know, Rochester, you've got none. Are we ought to sandwich a tree in there someplace? I wonder if... Oh, somebody's at the door. I'll get it. No, no, Rochester, I'll get it. If you pick up the broom and make believe you're sweeping her. I think that I shall never see a broom as lovely as a tree. Da-da-da-da-dee. Hello, Jack, Merry Christmas. Well, Mary, same to you. Glad to see you, Mary, and I'm sure glad you're over your cold. Well, thanks, Jack. I feel fine now. I got over it fast. Well, you must have had a good doctor. Oh, I did, Jack. In fact, he was an army doctor. An army doctor? Mm-hmm. Oh, and he was so cute. When he came in the room, he put on his white coat, padded my hand, and kissed me on the forehead. What? And then he said, oh, pardon me. I thought I was at the Birmingham Hospital. Mary. Mary, you mean at Birmingham Hospital, the doctor kisses the patient on the forehead? They have to do something. Now the war is over. They've dispensing with polluting. Oh, I see. Well, that is dispensing. Yeah, it's not like a comedian there. Well, anyway, Mary, you've got over your cold, and that's all that matters. Yeah, but Jack, you've just seen the kills he made you take. Green ones, red ones, orange ones, yellow ones, pink ones, blue ones. What were they for? He said as long as he had to take an X-ray, he might as well see how I looked in technicolor. You're in a fine X-ray. I'd like to see it. You can. It's opening at the Chinese Theater next Tuesday. Oh, stop. Stop being silly and come on in. Oh, wait a minute, Jack. I have something on the porch for you. For me? Yeah, it's awfully nice, either. Mary, why'd you bring me a Christmas tree? Because my vacuum cleaner is broken. I want my broom back. Oh, well, come on, Mary. I'll help you carry it in. Oh, Rochester. Rochester, look who's here. Well, well, it's Livingston. Glad to see you up and around again. And Merry Christmas. Well, thank you. The same to you, Rochester. Say, Mary, this is a beautiful tree. It's a silver tip. As long as it isn't a plastic tip or a metal tip, I'm happy. Yeah. Rochester, what are you doing? I'm nailing the tree to the floor. Good, good. Then it won't fall over. Here, Mary, you start with this box of ornaments and decorate the lower branches. Oh, wait a minute, Jack. These ornaments are pretty, but the red ones are too slow. Why don't you buy them? We didn't buy them. Mr. Berry took a dozen more balls and dipped them in to catch them. Never mind. We were going to have yellow ones too, but he ran out of mustard. Rochester, get the Christmas gifts out of the closet and put them around the tree. Yes, sir. Oh, say, Mary, I meant to tell you, I bought a gift for your sister, Babe. You know, it was awfully nice of her to take your place last Sunday when you got sick. Oh, she got a big kick out of it too, but when she got home, she was awfully nervous. Nervous? Yes, she couldn't keep anything on her stomach but water. Gee, that's a shame. Every hour, she drank a whole gallon of water. That's a lot of water. How is she now? I don't know. She just sits there in her rocking chair and ploshes. I can imagine. Well, anyway, your sister, Babe, did a swell job. And since she was on the program and you weren't, I'm going to show my appreciation and send her your check. Oh, Jack, send her $25. I'll pay the difference. Well, all right. Oh, hello, Polly. Merry Christmas, Polly. Merry Christmas, Polly. Look, Mary, I fixed Polly up for the holidays. Notice that red ribbon I got around her neck? Yeah, it looks cute. And I also gave her a manicure. But I think I cut her claws a little too short. She keeps falling off her perch. Oh, Jack, you and your fancy ideas. But, Mary, I thought it would be nice. Hmm. She fell off again. All things decorate the tree, boys, except putting a star on the top. I'll do that, Rochester. You go in the kitchen and make the eggnog. Yes, sir. How am I going to get the star on top? The tree almost touches the ceiling. You better get your ladder. I haven't got that ladder anymore. I lost it two weeks ago. Oh, yes. Ha, ha, ha. What are you laughing at? Rochester, you told me how you tried to look with your girl. Glad is a bisco. Oh, he did, eh? Yeah, he said that you got up at daybreak, carried a ladder over to her house, climbed up to the window. Woke Glad is up, and when you saw what she looked like in the morning, you ran so fast, you beat your shoes home by two blocks. Yeah, ankle's a lot better now. It was a two-story jump, you know. Anyway, I wish I had the ladder. The tree won't look right without a star. Well, maybe you tip it over. No, Rochester's got it nailed to the floor. Oh, I know, I'll reach up as high as I can and bend the tree down. I'll help you, Jack. OK, now pull. Now, just a little more. A little more. There, I've got the end. I can hold it now, Mary. You can let go. OK. Stay on your chest, and you'll look like Tarzan. I'll bend the tree again. A little more. I'm getting it, Jack. Now, just a little. Oh, darn it, there's the door button. I'll get it. Brought the quartet with me. Oh, good. Merry Christmas, fellas, to the living room. OK. Say, Mary, I'm awfully glad you got over your cold in time for the Christmas party. Well, thank you, Don. Yes, and Alice said that she hopes that you... Oh, no. No. Holy smoke, look at Jackson. The party hasn't even started yet. He's high up. I know ornaments are hard to get, but this is ridiculous. Maybe if we plug them in, his nose will light up. OK, Jackson. OK, come on, boys, pull with me. A little more. Egg knobs are served. Come on, get it. I thought the egg nog. Yes. Well, I think you looked a lot better. I know, but it was uncomfortable. Come on, kids. Let's have some fun. Let's get the party rolling. Well, what do you think we ought to do? I know. Let's play post office. Yeah, that's a swell kissing game. Wait a minute. That wouldn't be fair. Mary's the only girl here. You keep out of this. I was only thinking of you. Hey, I got it. Let's play Life Can Be Beautiful. How do you play that? Give me a bottle of bourbon and I'll show you. Bourbon? Yeah, this game is spin the bottle. Only you spin with it. Well, Phil, we're too old to be playing spin the bottle or post office. They're kid games. Kid games. Kid games. Hello, Polly. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Oh, she fell off her purse again. Here, Polly, I'll help you up. You're on your fancy ideas. Polly, sorry. All right, everybody. Let's think of something else. We don't want to play those kid games. You're right, Mr. Benny. Those are the games I used to play with my first girlfriend. Your first girlfriend? Yes. I was eight and she was seven. Hmm. Guys, Dennis, I'll bet she was a cute little girl. She sure was. And we had so much in common. We both wore braces on our teeth. Both? Both of you wore braces? Uh-huh. I'll never forget the first time I kissed her. It took a plumber three hours to separate us. Dennis, that's enough reminiscing. Anyway, uh, why don't we hold off the games until everybody gets here? You know, I've invited some of my old gang who used to be with me on the program. Larry Stevens, Kenny Baker, Schlepperman. Gee, it'll be good to see them all again. Yeah. Meanwhile, let's do something that we'll all enjoy. Hey, boss, why don't you play the violin? Say, that's a good idea. I think I will. Hold on, Jackson. No. No. No, Jackson. No. No, nurse here is firming him, but not that. It's all your fault, Rott. What did you ask him to play the violin for anyway? Well... You never hear me ask him to play, do you? When I get two shows, I won't ask him either. Now, quiet, everybody quiet. I'm gonna play. Jack, instead of playing the violin, why don't you let the quartet entertain? They've got a swell Christmas number, and it's very short. Don, I'm not a monger. Jack, let them sing. They sing it for Christmas. Well, all right. I'll let them sing first, and then I'll play. Good. Take it, boys. Jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle, jingle. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh. Very good, fellas. Very good, now. Lucky strike, lucky strike, that's a spoke for me. Kind of gift I'd like to find beneath my Christmas tree. Lucky strike, lucky strike, LXMST. So loud, so friends, so fully packed, so easy on the tree. Very swell, fellas, swell. Jack, I just thought of a wonderful Christmas suggestion. Say Merry Christmas to your friends 200 times. To what are times, how? With that ever-welcome gift of fine tobacco, a carton of Lucky Strike. Yes, say Merry Christmas with Lucky Strike. A very good idea, Don. Very good. Now. LXM, LXM, LXMST. LXL, LXMST. 200 times for Don. I owe you, give you, give you, RSVUV. Of all the letters. OK. Every time I start a play, something's always there. Ladies and gentlemen, it's Larry Stevens. Larry! Larry Stevens. Rochester, where is he? He'll be right in. He's checking his clothes. Oh. Yeah, how do you feel? 25 cents lighter. Good. Good. Say, say Larry, what's that you got under your arm? A Christmas present for you, Mr. Benny. A present? For me? Gee, thanks. Yes, I hope you like it. Come on, time. Open it up. Open it up. You said I'll open it, right now. Oh, I can hardly wait. Oh, Larry. Isn't that wonderful? And it's gold. Gold? What is it, Jack? A fish. This is swell. I always did hate to be alone in the bathtub. Thanks very much, Larry. You would like it. Larry, how could you give Mr. Benny a fish for a Christmas present? Well, he didn't give me such a nice present last year. He promised me a wrist watch, and he only gave me a sweater. What? You said you were going to give me a boulevard. I said pull over. Pull over. That's a sweater. Oh. Well, anyway, it feels good to see the whole gang once more. And you too, Polly. Aren't you going to say hello, Polly? Come on, Polly, say something. She heard Dennis say that before. Come on, Polly, say hello to Larry. Hello, Red. See, I always thought she was colorblind. Gee, she's clever. She picks up things so quickly. Hey, if you think that's clever, listen to this. Come on, Polly, recite the poem I taught you. Everybody be quiet. Come on, Polly, recite the poem. Come on. Well, it's the night before Christmas, and after the house, now the creature was stirring, not even arc. Oh, I got a mouse. What do you mean a mouse? He got two mice. Two mice, how come? I baited the tramp with mistletoe. I want to play my violin for Larry. Jack, look who just came in. Who? A crazy border he used to have, Mr. Billingsley. Oh, yes. He was an eccentric sort of fellow. Oh, well. Hello, Mr. Benny. Still playing the piano, I see. Hello, Mr. Billingsley. Oh, Mr. Billingsley, I didn't see you come in. I know, I came down to chimney. Down to chimney? Oh, are you trying to play Santa Claus? Oh, no, no, I built my nest in it. Nest? Sorry, old girl, I'm already married. It's good to see you again, Mr. Billingsley. Thank you. I just dropped in to say, Merry Christmas, and Merry Christmas to you, too. That is a coincidence. Oh, no. Oh, Rochester, were you bringing my hat? Yes, sir, which hat is yours? The one with the head in it. Well, goodbye, Mr. Benny. Goodbye. I'll bet you would, you rascal. What happened to you as long as it fell backwards? It's good, right? Gee, such a strange fellow, then. Hello, Mr. Kerry, Merry Christmas, y'all. Well, I'm sure glad you could drop over, Kenny. Come on in, and by the way, where's your coat? I didn't wear one. Oh. How about your hat? I didn't wear a hat either. Well, take off your shoes, Bobby. You've got to check something. Merry doesn't have to. Just a little convenience I have for my guests. Oh. Hello, Don. Hello, Kenny. You know, Jack, I'm the announcer on the Kenny Baker's program, too. Yeah, I know, I know. You're on everybody's program. In fact, I heard one program where you weren't the announcer. I thought it was shortwave from Pago Pago. If you ever get sick one week, radio will have to fold up, you know. Say, Kenny, I tried to call you one day last week. Aren't you living at your uncle Willie's house? No, Jack. I moved. How come? Well, I couldn't stand him anymore. He'd get up in the morning and yell at his wife, and then he'd bawl me out, and he'd scold the maid and spank the baby and kick the cat, and then he'd go to work. What does he do? He's a good humor man. Ooh. So now I'm living on my cousin Jasper's farm. It's a lot of farm. It's healthy, too, you know. Only it's a little tough on these cold mornings when I have to knock the cows. I nearly freeze my hands off. Well, gee, gee, Kenny, you ought to wear gloves. Oh, I do. I wish the cows would. Well, that's silly. How could a cow wear a... Oh, oh, oh. Oh, I see. Well, come on. Come here, Kenny. I'd like you to meet Larry Steve. Oh, hello, Larry. How are you? Nice to meet you, Kenny. And you remember Dennis Day. Oh, I sure do. How are you, Dennis? This place is lousy with tenors. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Kenny, I listen to you on a broader matter, and I think you're wonderful. Oh, thanks, Dennis. I hear your program every Thursday, and it sure is swell. Thanks, but starting this week, my program's going to be on Wednesday instead. In fact, it starts on Christmas Day. Oh, what time? Gee, I forgot to ask. Dennis, it's 8 o'clock in the east, 7 o'clock in the middle west, and 9 o'clock on the west coast. Gee, Mr. Buddy knows everything, and he's not even a tenor. Yeah, yeah, I know everything. Wait a minute, fellas. Wait a minute. You're all popping off about your show. What about mine? Phil, we know all about your show. It goes on between my show and Sully McCartney. I know, Jackson, and I'm getting rich in that niche for pitch. Which niche? The pitch niche. Well, Phil, we got as much of that as we can. You know, not quiet, everybody. We'll have a little music. I'll play my violin now. Mary, Mary, go answer the door, please. Can I have the bell and ring? I know, but it will as soon as I start playing. Oh, don't be funny. If you're going to play, play. Okay. I knew it, I knew it. Come on. Slap it. It's your good to see you. The feeling is like wise. Now, tell me, Slap, how do you feel? What are you doing now? Now, I'm in the radio on Kenny Beagle's program. And I'm also connected with the Gesundheit Insurance Company. The Gesundheit Insurance Company? Yeah. To get the cold, we pay through the nose. No. And you make the rent here, we lose money. Well, Slap, I've been thinking of taking it out for more insurance myself. Maybe you and I can do business. Yes, possible. How old are you? 37. How old? 37. That's what I like about you, Jackie. What? You look like C. O. B. Smith, and you talk like the Earl Flynn. There's very much left. Well, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. We'll have some fun. Excuse me a minute, Jack. I'd rather call home on the telephone. You know, my wife is expecting. Well, congratulations. Of course. She's expecting me to be there. There's a buzzer again. Who can that be? Hello, everybody. Merry Christmas. Hey, that must be Sandy Claw's. No, it's my sister, Babe. Oh, yeah. Hello, Babe. Hello. Merry Christmas. Well, kids, now that we're all together, let's finish our party with a real Christmas spirit. Let's all gather around a piano and sing. Oh, I've got a better idea. Larry Stevens is here, and Kenny Baker and Dennis and the quartet. How about them singing the Christmas Carol? Yeah. Come on. Come on. Watch this, sir. Turn out all the lights except the Christmas tree. Okay. See, that's pretty. I would like to say a word to you fellows here at Birmingham Veterans Administration Hospital. In fact, all of you in service hospitals all over America. Thank you.