 Chewing Gum invites you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard, directed by Mac Benhoff and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as Pasquale. The Spearman Chewing Gum are glad to bring you life with Luigi because they feel it's a friendly, good-natured show that offers you relaxation and enjoyment. And you know, Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum offers you relaxation and enjoyment too. It's pleasant to chew on the smooth piece of Wrigley Spearman for the your working, shopping, listening to your radio, or doing just about anything. Wrigley Spearman Gum tastes good, it's refreshing and the good easy chewing gives you comfort and satisfaction. So chew Wrigley Spearman Gum often, every day, millions enjoy it and you will too. Now Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum brings you Luigi as he writes another letter describing his adventures in America to his mama Vasco in Italy. Businesses start to get good. This week I had three customers and they all bought the Lelantics except one fellow. He's just to come in to browse around. Yeah, browse around the mama. That means a fellow, he comes in the store, he walks around, he doesn't buy, just walks around a look and makes the cash register nervous. So good lately, I ordered some new stock from the manor from who I buy these things and I was busy putting up with the new antiques on a shelf when a Pasquale is coming. Luigi, my friend. Hello Luigi, hello, hello. Hello Pasquale. Busy today, a little banana nose. Hello Pasquale. Hey, how you like all the new antiques I'm used to getting? He's a nice, huh? Don't ask me, ask the termites. Hey, what's this, a junkie looking all the chair? Oh, junk, that's a no junk, Pasquale. That's a dunk and a pfeiffer. Dunk and a who? Pfeiffer. You never heard of this, Pasquale? Luigi, this is America, I only know about dunking and donuts. No, Pasquale, this is a dunk and a pfeiffer. He was the biggest man in American cabinet to make him. Early pfeiffer was a light, very pretty, but the lighter pfeiffer... All right, all right, stop a pfeiffer so much. Luigi, I come in and suggest you take that little statue of the truck driver left out in the street, bring it inside. Somebody's liable to trip on it. Oh, good one, stop a whining, Pasquale. Hey, Pasquale, how many of us have fallen over the statue of General Granta? Come on, are we going to help him? I told you. For here to hit him, I'm going to help you up, Mr.... How you feelin'? You hurt? Well, my knee feels a little sprained. Never mind him, Luigi. Look at General Granta first. He's older. Is that supposed to be funny? Oh, stop making such a fuss over a little flop. Next time when you walk on the street, you keep your eyes in front of your nose. Look, Mr., that statue should never have been out there in the first place. Oh, yes, that's a freak country here. For General Granta, it feels like taking a little walk out of his business. Pasquale's gone. Say, who owns this antique shop, anyway? Eh, Luigi Bosco, 21 and not the whole step street. That's right. Mr. Please, I'm... So, all right, let him take our name, Luigi. We ain't scared, are we? I'll see you in court. Pasquale, he's... he's taking us to court. Us? The way you get that, us. He's taking you to court. Yeah, but Pasquale, you just said the we. Since then, I broke up with a partnership. Pasquale, what's he gonna do, Mr. Fellow? Well, it looks like he's gonna sue you in court. How much? How much money? Oh, it could be $500. $500? Pasquale, I ain't the guy to know $500. Well, don't worry, Luigi. The judge is a very fair. He lets you mail in the payments every week from Alcatraz. Me? I'm gonna be in jail. Pasquale, that's terrible. And the whole thing was a euphoria. You made the fella... You made him all a madman. Stop, Luigi. What's happened is a happened. You don't see cows crying when they spill the milk. Anyway, stop worrying so much about a measly $1,000. $1,000? Pasquale, you said it before, it was... Well, don't go by me, Luigi. Everything depends on the jury. You might get a jury that don't like you, so they soak you with $1,000 and it costs. And it costs? What's that to... Means you've got to pay for the juries of lunches. But, Pasquale, you've got to be in the worst of trouble in my whole life. Now, if you wasn't hollering on that... All right, all right. Stop worrying, little cabbage bush. Calm down, relax. Now you see how you're good at some other things that are going to take care of you. You remember when you first came from the old country? I said the first thing you've got to get is insurance? And I said, how you get this? Luigi, you've got a special insurance that's a cover accident. Even for general grant? Even for civilians. Yeah, I took out a liability insurance policy for you, and every year they renew it. Well, Pasquale, I never saw you take out no insurance policy like this for my son. Sure, Luigi. Here, look. Under your cash register, I'll show you. Hey, hey, how you like it? You believe me now? Yeah, that's right. Luigi Baskar, liability... Oh, Pasquale, that's wonderful. I'm glad you like it. Now, call up the insurance company, tell them what happened. They're going to take care of the whole thing. And I'm going to do nothing, huh? Well, you did your share already. You gave them the accident. You see, Luigi, this is just like auto insurance. When you ain't got insurance, you've got to drive careful. But once you've got insurance, you don't have to aim your car. Go ahead, call up. There's the number. I thought I'm going to call it. This is Luigi Baskar, and I'd like to give you an accident. What? Are you insured with us? Yes, sure, I'm insured with you. What is your policy number, please? Policy number? Oh, the policy... It's a 552886943AC. Okay. No, no, it's not okay, it's an AC. No, no, it's an AC. Now, I've got to check your file. Let me check the file. All right, then. I'm going to wait. Luigi, tell me, what would you do without your fairy god, Papa Pasquale, to take care of you, huh? Every time you get in trouble, I rub the magical lamp in a boat for goodbye trouble. Mr. Masco? Yes? The premium on your policy was never paid. Therefore, you never had insurance. You never... Huh? What's wrong, Luigi? Why are you turning so pale? Pasquale, I don't think you rub the magic lamp hard enough. Wait, give me that phone. Hello? That's a Pasquale, a fellow that took out insurance in Pobasco. What's your problem? Mr. Pasquale, you had two months' grace, and you never sent in the premium due on that policy, so it never went into effect. Say, look, if I send in the money now, could you insure him for some accident that's happened five minutes ago? Absolutely not. Luigi? Yeah, Pasquale. I got a funny feeling this ain't your lucky day. Please keep quiet. All right, attention class, please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Pasco? I hear it. Mr. Howard? Here. Mr. Olson? Mr. Schultz? Here, here. And Mr. Schultz, one here is enough. Oh, good. The rest of you can go home. Please, class, we're studying the use of the adjective today. Now, who will tell us what an adjective is? Any volunteers? Here is my hand, Miss Faulding. What a gallant way to propose. Mr. Schultz? Very well, Mr. Olson. An adjective is a word used to modify the meaning of a noun or pronoun. Good. Mr. Pasco, an example, please. What? An example? Yes. Well, two times the two is a four. What? That's the old spirit, Luigi. If we can't beat them in gamma, we're gonna kill them with a Hesmati. Mr. Pasco, it's obvious your mind is not on your work today. Don't you feel well? I'm feeling terribly... You have any fever? Yeah, 5,000. 5,000? That's what I'm gonna need to feel about a 5,000 a dollar. Hey, Yimini, that's a lot of cold cash. Cold cash? That's a whole deep freeze! Luigi, what do you want with 5,000 dollars? Well, it's a long story, beginning with the general grant. Luigi, even if you could dig up general grant, 5,000 dollars could never finance the Civil War over again, believe me. Let him speak, Mr. Scholes. Well, when I was spotting him, I'm had a little statue outside the street. The fellow's a trip. He'd assume me for 5,000 dollars in a Pasquale, he'd say. I'm wise and assured of it, but I ain't the now because the jury is gonna make me buy general a grant to his lunch. Luigi, are you for shimmers? You say this fellow who tripped is gonna sue you for 5,000 dollars? That's right. Did he break anything? No, side the walk is still a good, but... No, Mr. Vasco, he means did the man hurt himself? Well, I don't know, Mr. Bollinby, but a man says he's gonna take me in a court and he's gonna...in a court. Is this possible? This is possible, Mr. Vasco. It's possible a man is just trying to frighten you. He may go home and decide to forget the whole thing. You think it's so much fun? Ah, sure, Luigi, stop worrying. Like we say in the delicatessen business, even a frankfurter never worries and look at the hot water it's always getting into. Not like Luigi smiles. He likes me, always happy, always laughing. My rheumatism is killing me. You sound pretty happy for a fellow who's soon gonna be exported back to Italy. No, no, you can't scare me. My friends will tell me nothing is gonna happen. Nobody is really gonna sue me. Oh, no? Well, in that case, here's a little special livery letter that's come for you ten minutes ago. Oh, special delivery? For me? Yeah, for you. On the outside it says a private and a personal, so I opened it up and read it just to make sure it was. Who's it from, Pascali? The other fellow's a lawyer. Huh? Here, read you that certificate while you're still alive. Hello, Mr. Bascali. I have a retained legal counsel, Mr. Peter Phillips. He's my lawyer. I'm a representative because he suffered damage outside of your place of business at 21 and not the whole street due to your negligee. Negligee? Well, let me see. Negligents. What's that? Well, figure it out, the negligee has underwear for ladies. Negligents, that's it for men. What a marooner you are. Wait a minute, let me finish this. I suggest you drop into my office within the next five days, arrange for a settlement out of court. Pascali, what does that mean? It means you've got to raise $25,000 in five days. But how, Pascali? I can't do it. Put on them all men. Pascali, please, please, you've got to help me, you've got to help me. Help me, help me, help me. Every time you get in trouble I suddenly become your private Salavations Army. Pascali, it must be something I can do. Sure, sure. You've got to fire with a fire insurance. Yeah, but how, how, Pascali? How, by getting a bigger lawyer than he's got. That's a how. That's so what you do. But Pascali, I mean, you mean getting a bigger lawyer like this? That's what I said, I was standing here and I said, are you standing there? Why don't you wash your ears? Yeah, but a bigger lawyer, but I never saw his lawyer. But I never saw his lawyer. I don't know, I don't know how big he is that the lawyer. I'm going to ask around the neighborhood to find out who's the biggest lawyer in town. Then you're going to go to him and beg him to take your case. I'm going to beg, suppose he's the don't want to. Then you've got only two choices left. Two choices, so what is the two choice? Canada or Mexico. Before we return to life with Luigi here's a suggestion that may be a real help to your popularity. Chew a few sticks of refreshing, delicious, wriggly, spearmint gum every day. You see, besides giving you enjoyment wriggly, spearmint chewing gum freshens your mouth and helps keep your breath sweet. Then two, the natural chewing action helps keep your teeth clean and bright, your smile attractive. So in two important ways delicious wriggly, spearmint gum can help you be at your best when you're with other people. Make it a point to carry wriggly, spearmint gum with you wherever you go. Keep a package handy and enjoy a stick whenever you want it. That's wriggly, spearmint chewing gum. Helpful, refreshing, delicious. Now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother in Italy. Well, my mom and me is now two days since I got the lawyer letter. Seems like two years. Last night I had a nightmare. Holy Supreme Court there was a chasing of me in the street. Only one thing is to save the meat. They couldn't have run a festival. They had undies along a black and white the gowns. But it was the part of my mom and me. I'm a native citizen. Luigi, my fellow. Luigi, what you look like. Bad. What's so pale? Luigi, I got a plate of potato salad in my delicatessen window. That's got more color than you. Sure, some. I've never felt so worried since I'm in America. This fellow Phillips, he sent me lawyer letter and he wants I should have paid him $25,000 in five days. That's he's going to take me to court. $25,000? He tapped over a little statue, not the Higley building. Sure, sure. So please, what am I going to do? No, no, Luigi, let me think. Ah-ha, into my head an idea just pooped. He didn't give you a summons yet, did he? What's that? Luigi, did a man in a funny little hat walk into your store, ask your name, stick a piece of paper into your hand, and then chomp through the window? No. Then you ain't got a summons. No, Luigi. Don't worry, you can come and hide yourself in my house. Oh, no shit, Sam. I'm not going to hide that Luigi. Luigi, I got him. Don't do that, please. I thought it was a little man. Sure. When a fella is sitting in the shadow of the electric chair, don't you go around shocking him. Oh, my. So, Luigi, listen, I take the Wicked Get-A-U case handled by Sam Chapman. Sam Chapman? Is he a big lawyer? The biggest. But how come he's going to take this case? Well, I got a customer, Joe Marsella. He's got a third cousin, Mario, who's the best friend that told him he was a big shot because he was his lawyer. Well, he's willing to do the friend the favor, who'll do it for Tony, who'll do it for Mario, who'll do it for Joe, who'll do it for me. No, stop. I'm dizzy from playing leapfrog. Yeah. You said you're going to do it for me? Sure, little pumpkin seed. Ah, he's a sure. He is, he's a card. And remember one thing, Luigi, this Chapman is a big shot, so act nice, so be polite, use your things, use your best the night school English you do everything he says. Ah, I'm not going to, you said it the first time. I'm not going to. Once you're right, the most important thing is to have a lawyer like Chapman on your side, then on the right side. Mr. Basko, do you have an appointment with Mr. Chapman? No, no, no, but I mean, he's a vice very bad. Well, I don't know if Mr. Chapman can see you today. He's all filled up. That's a bad, he's eaten too much, huh? No, I mean, his appointment, sir. He's in with the client right now, and in about 15 minutes he's got to rush downtown on a big case. Well, then maybe I'm not going to rush downtown to William, and maybe he's going to be a vice and a tally carry. What? I'll do just as I say, Harry. I don't think you'll have any more trouble. Thanks, Sam, thanks a million. Mr. Basko, I think I can squeeze you in now. Just walk in. Squeeze, squeeze, that's nice. Thanks a lot. Yes? Oh, and who are you? I'm Luigi Basko, fellow secretary was just squeezed in. What? Are you here on business, my good man? Yes, I'm an reviewer, but very bad. Oh, who sent you here? Well, he's my friend, he's got a customer, Joe Marsal, who's got a third of cousin Mario, who's the best friend of Tony Moreno, he's an eulogy, you know. You recognize him, you know? Well, I'm a little rushed today, Mr. Basko, so if you don't mind... No, please, please, Mr. Chapman. How many do you have for very bad? All right, all right, then. Let's have it quick. What happened? Well, Farrah is a walker by, he's a trip over General Grant, and now he's a... Hold it. Who's this General Grant? Who's a what? General Grant. American president, 1868. Yes, yes, yes, I know that. Then why you ask me? Let's start all over, Basko, and give me all the details this time, will you? All right, then. Well, I'm... I'm a guaranteed shop. I'm getting some new antiques. One was a little statue, General Grant, and this fellow Phillips, he's a passerby, he's a trip and a fall down. Well, now let's face it, you had no right to leave that statue on the street. Oh, it was a clear-cut case of negligence, and Phillips can sue you for anything he wants to. And if you can't pay, the judge can declare a fine and a jail sentence. Well, I got to myself in jail. I would have put squalors in connection. I, uh, presumed you had no insurance, otherwise you wouldn't be here. I said, I... I'm gonna have no insurance, and I'm a sorry I came. Well, I don't think I can take this case anyhow. We have here a clear case of breast ipsilocator. No, no, I'm a raiser, no locket. I'm a divinocator. And it means that negligence may exist, A, where the accidents of a type not occurring in the absence of negligence, is caused by an instrument within the defendant's control, or C, the possibility of plaintive responsibility. Now, do you understand that? No. All I'm understood was A, B, and C. Look, see, in law, contributory negligence exists when the plaintiff fails to exercise a duty of care for his own personal safety. Now, do I make myself clear? Well, I sure you make yourself clear. Now I wish you were gonna make me clear. Oh! Oh, fast, go get somebody else. No, no, I'm making you so mad. And I'm in need of you so much. Please, Mr. Chapman, you tell a judge I'm a good citizen. I don't mean to know how I'm, and anyway, I'm gonna look after the $25,000. What makes you think he's going to sue you for that amount? Is it impossible? No, no, no, I had a client once who was sued for $100,000. You're just $25,000. I'm sorry, Mr. Chapman. I wish I could afford it to be sued for more. Please, Mr. Chapman, say, say, say, please, are you going to help me? Well, now my fees are quite high. I think you should know this. Oh, that's a nothing. Money is a mean nothing to me. Here, I'm even going to pay you everything in advance. Here, let me see, here's a $4. Why, basketball, I couldn't touch this case without at least a $500 retainer. $500? Oh, yes, and if we should lose, I take it to the appellate court, and then the court of appeals, and maybe even to the Supreme Court, who knows. And by this time, my fee might run into the thousands. Mr. Basko, where you going? I'm gonna get another lawyer to tell me how I'm gonna pay you. Do it, you, what happened to the lawyer's off? Basko was a terrible man. I'm not gonna afford this to Mr. Chapman. Too expensive, eh? Basko, I think if he's a stopper and says hello to you on the street, that the wonder what is it gonna cost you, $5. And he's gonna give you no advice if you're free, eh? Mr. Basko, he says they could assume me for $100,000. One of my advice, Luigi? What? Don't pay it. Mr. Basko, I need your help. I'm gonna get somebody quick. Wait, Luigi, I just decided to pay Mr. Chapman to save you on a call. Are you gonna pay? Uh-huh. Oh, Mr. Basko, well, I better warn you he's maybe gonna cost a few thousand dollars. So what's the money? I'm gonna be happy to lend you even a five thousand of dollars, providing that you also take the interest on the money. Oh, I'm gonna take the interest. What interest, Mr. Basko? Interest in my daughter Rosa. I'm gonna call her in. Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! 50 years in the jail or 50 fully years with a Rosa? Mr. Basko, I'm afraid those years they're gonna be too full. Remember, Luigi, it's only one man can save you at some age. One man at's right. It's only one man, but, Mr. Basko, it's not to you. Come back, Basko! This is very strange. No, please, please, Mr. Phillips, don't attack me in a court. I'm gonna get the $100,000 you want. I don't know, Basko, my lawyer tells me I got an open shot case. Then maybe you shut it up before it's gonna open up a place. No, please. Mr. Phillips, you got nice a little grocery store. We bought the storekeepers. Well, yeah. Frankly, I never sued anybody in my life. I never even been in a court. Me too. Would you believe it, I spent a whole hour of my lawyer yesterday and I didn't understand what they got the same lawyer. By the time he'd get through taking his share and the fee, the whole thing wouldn't be worthwhile. You know, frankly, I only spent five bucks on the doctor getting my knee fixed. Here, take it back to the money fatality. No, please, please attack. I'm gonna feel better. Okay, and don't worry about a thing, Basko. As far as I'm concerned, the case is closed. Oh, good. Thank you so much, Mr. Phillips. You're nice, nice, man. And I'm gonna come and see you often and you'll start it, too. Goodbye. That's my lucky day, my love. Here, I'll help you up, Basko. Who? Was that the broom on the side of your store? My broom? Yeah, you broom, honey, you didn't... Don't say another word, Basko. Take back your five bucks and let's forget the whole thing. As the makers of Wrigley's experiment chewing gum, have enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they want to remind you that Wrigley's spearmint gum gives you real chewing enjoyment and satisfaction. There's lots of delicious long-lasting spearmint flavor in every stick. Tastes mighty good. Then, too, Wrigley's spearmint gum is really smooth and satisfying to chew on. You enjoy sinking your teeth into it. So whether you're working, having fun, or just taking things easy, be sure to have a package or two of Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum handy. Enjoy it often and offer it to your friends. They'll appreciate it. Next time you're at the store, get a few packages of Wrigley's spearmint gum from your merchant's handy display. Remember, that's Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum. Healthful, refreshing, delicious. The makers of Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum invite you to be sure to listen next week at the same time when Luigi Basko writes another letter to his mama Basko in Italy. Luigi is a Psy Howard production. Pat Burton is associate producer. The script is written by Mack Benhoff and Lou Derman and directed by Mr. Benhoff. J. Carol Nash is starred as Luigi Basko with Alan Reed as Pasquale, Hans Connery as Schultz, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Shipp as Miss Faulding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, Ken Peters as Olson with Joe Kern, Kurt Butterfield and Jeanette Lewis music under the direction of Lud Blutton. For a story and pictures of your favorites on life at Luigi's see the current October issue of Radio TV Mirror Magazine. Charles Lyons speaking. This is the CBS Radio Network.