 I'm the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man, and I'm here to feed the funnies to you happy boys and honey. Yes boys and girls, it's comic weekly time. And here I come right into your house to bring a little fun and happiness. Right out of the pages of Puck the Comic Weekly, right into your living room, your friend the comic weekly man, the jolly comic weekly man. A little miss, honey, how are you today? I don't think I've ever been so anxious. And what are you so anxious about? Well today, Rusty Rally is supposed to ride in the race to try to win the thousand dollars so he can give the money to Mr. Jones. And then, that mean Mr. Marlowe can't take her farm away from her. And oh, I just can't wait to see if Rusty wins. Well, let's not waste any time at all. Let's start immediately at once, right now fast. Well please, quick, read me the funny. Puck the comic weekly? Very well, I'll read that in just a moment. But before I do, let's listen to this nice man. Now here we go with Puck the Comic Weekly. And on the first page, under bringing up father, Beatle Bailey. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Toot me a toot and tweet me a tweedle. Squeeze out music for Bailey the Beatle. It's another typical day for Beatle Bailey in the army. He and his pals are scrubbing up the barracks because today the captain is going to inspect it. And if it isn't perfectly spick and span and cleaner than any boys or girls room in the country, the captain is going to be M-A-D, which spells furious. Suddenly, one of the G.I.'s pops in the door. Hey, aren't you guys ready yet? The captain's coming to inspect right now. One of the guys shoves his mop in Beatle's locker. Beatle tosses his scrub pale out the window. And then the barrack door opens. Instant! And Beatle looks up, third picture top row to see the captain standing in the door, soaking wet with the pale Beatle throughout the window on his head. Uh-oh. I bet this'll be a tough inspection. As everybody stands at attention, the captain walks around the room, examining it carefully. Suddenly, he stops. What is this? The sergeant squinting his eyes to see it answers. It's a piece of thread, sir. The captain bends down, picks up a little tiny piece of thread, and last picture top row exclaims, Rope on the floor! The sergeant marks it down on his pad. Uh, yes, sir. First picture bottom row, the sergeant exclaims, Here's an orange seat on Bailey's shelf, sir. The captain roars. Garbage on the furniture! And then next picture, the captain roars. That window is filthy! And but it's open, Captain! The sergeant exclaims, Darge you in with an officer! And writes it down. Then the captain walks over to Beatle's locker and he says, Let's just see what shape Bailey's locker is in. He opens the locker, and the wet mop falls out, smacking him in the face. This is too much! And he starts for Beatle who pops out the window. And last picture, the rest of the men in the barracks put the window as the captain tries to catch Beatle. One of the men says, Hey, what's the captain doing now? About 30 miles an hour! Another guy says, Hey, what's Beatle doing? And another one answers, He's doing his best to stay ahead of that mop, the captain is swinging! Of course, Beatle! Yes, just because somebody stuck a mop in his locker. Oh, indeed. But that began the trouble for Beatle. I'm sure it did too. Well, now let's turn over the page to Prince Valiant. Oh, yes, then. And last week, Tillicombe, the Indian maid who was Prince Arn's nurse, started after him. Then she followed most of those bad men. Oh, I wonder if she'll catch up to them today. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Prince Valiant in the days of King Arthur. Eckhart, Brickett, Gray Vulcan and Quince, music romantic for a fair, fair prince. It's nightfall, and Tillicombe can't follow the trail to the back of the forest, so she builds a fire because the mosquitoes fill the air. And Tillicombe had taken off her long skirt so she could run swiftly. And smoke is the only way she can protect herself from the mosquitoes in the night. Then she lies down to sleep to gain strength to continue the chase tomorrow. Meanwhile, Boltar, who had discovered the absence of Tillicombe and little Arn, had called for a search. He and his men had followed Arn's and Tillicombe's tracks in the forest. He had found Arn's bowl, her skirt. She had been wise enough to leave a trail for him to follow and with torchbearers to lead the way, Boltar has followed her trail all through the night. But finally, the torchbearers fall back exhausted. Boltar continues on alone by moonlight. Last picture, second row, following Tillicombe by the trail she has made. Broken twigs to mark her path. First picture, bottom row, he finds where there are no twigs on the bare mountain, her headband, and then her bracelet. And then little bits of clothing that he had torn off. And Arn Boltar strides following her trail through the night. Next morning, Tillicombe awakens at the exact moment when there is light enough to follow the trail. Quickly, she washes at a nearby screen. And after a refreshing drink, she scoops up some mushrooms, berries, and pern roots. And last picture is on her way. It's easy to follow the trail of the four horses. And nowhere does she see signs of that being pastured. And she knows she must outlast the horses. Did Tillicombe before she woke up? Yes, because running swiftly as she is, she's have to leave Boltar quite far behind. But maybe one time she started in the morning and if he hurries, he could still catch up with her. Well, let's hope so because she'll need the strength of a man like Boltar to help her. But we'll find that out next week. Now let's turn over the page. A wagon that's hauling the gold that's supposed to spread him because King Richard is a prisoner in a far-off country. Yes, and King John's men, led by the sheriff of Nottingham, are going to dress like Robin Hood's men. And he hopes that Robin Hood will be blamed for the robbery. But Robin Hood has learned what his plan is, and I'm sure Robin Hood will come. And then there'll be a big battle and I'm anxious to see how it will end. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with the story of Robin Hood. It's Mary, Mary, England in days long ago. Time now for Robin Hood. Some music. I hope. Through the forest, second picture, first row, the procession bearing the gold by King Richard's freedom, accompanied by the Queen of England, approaches the spot where the sheriff of Nottingham's men wait in ambush. Suddenly there's a shout. And the sheriff's men dressed like Robin Hood's outlaws burst out of the bushes and dashed for the wagon, carrying the gold. Last picture, top row, the archbishop who's riding with the Queen's guard says, In the name of the King, stand aside and let us pass. One of the sheriff's men shouts, Don't know, King, save Robin Hood. Switch the way. First picture, bottom row, the sheriff's men attack the Queen's guard. Others of his men leap on the wagon to remove the chest of gold. Second picture, bottom row, the archbishop draws his sword. One of the sheriff's men aims his bow at him. But before the murderous bowman can release his shaft, he is toppled by his swifter arrow. Oh! The last picture out of the forest comes Robin Hood and his men. We're just in time, lads. Have Adam. Yes, in time to save the archbishop's life. And now, Queen, that Robin Hood is loyal to the Queen and King Richard. Yes, but if Robin Hood and his men aren't defeated by the sheriff's men, that will happen. And I just hope we'll find that out next week. Oh, I'm sure we will. Now, let's turn over the page and see who's there. Oh, the Donald Duck! And I know you love Donald Duck. So here we go with Donald Duck. Say the magic words with me. Squeegeum, squeegeum, squeegeum. Let's have music to fit a quack quack. Donald wants to take a nap today. And to make sure he won't be interrupted, he puts a sign beside the doorbell. The sign reads, Don't Ring Bell, Invalid Sleeping. A short time later, Donald is sound asleep. Suddenly, Donald wakes with a start and dashes to the door. He sees a salesman standing there and he yells, Can't you read? I'm an Invalid. Squawk! And he slams the door shut. He starts for his couch again, last picture top row, when? And by the time you get to the first picture bottom row, Donald has the door open and is sticking his shotgun in the salesman's tummy. Aye! The salesman says, and away he goes. By this time, Donald is disgusted because no one will pay any attention to his sign. So he says, This requires drastic action. He gets out a battery, wires, hooks the wires from the battery to the doorbell and then third picture bottom row with a big grin waits for someone to ring his doorbell again because this time the one who does is going to get the shock of his life. Then... Ah! When Donald opens his door, there lies his girlfriend Daisy on the doorstep holding up a sore hand and as Donald stares in amazement, suddenly Stop Daisy! Stop! Stop! In the last picture, Donald is in bed with an ice pack on his head. His nephew Dewey leans over his bed and this is what he said. What's the matter, Uncle Donald? Aren't you sleepy? Got some ice cubes and pipes down! His girlfriend Daisy is the one who got the shock? Yes, because she probably wanted to come in and nurse the poor little invalid. Well, I bet she won't nursing this time. No, I bet she won't either. Well, now let's go to the last page in the first section. Very well, my lady. Let's have music for Heroic Flash! Flash, Dale and their friend Dr. Zarkov have been captured by an Earthman who has managed to set himself up as King Stang of the Planet Penis. Carried by strange creatures with huge wings, they approach an amazing castle surrounded by a river of liquid fire. Stang, spurred on by a small jet motor, sails through the air beside them. Flying high over the searing mode of liquid fire, Flash's captors tow him to the entrance of King Stang's palace. It is a weird, colorful hot house, a city in itself providing shelter and stored up sunlight for comfortable living on this dripping cloud and gulf planet. As Flash is whisked through the hatch-like entrance, he catches a glimpse of Dale and Zarkov close behind him. Last picture, Top Rose. Stang settles himself into a chair then smiles coldly and commands, Zarkov, you will label in the power room. Dale, you will try your skill in the royal kitchen. And then Stang turns to Flash. First picture, Bottom Rose. Gordon, my wife, Queen Vicki, is about to make a journey to the food forest. You will go along to protect her against our enemies, the blue ones. And remember, she remains as hostage. Flash's first impulse is to draw his hidden ray gun and blaze away at the arrogant Stang. But discretion stays his hand and he meekly accompanies Queen Vicki as she sets out to direct the harvesting of the weak supply of food and precious oil. Last picture, soaring above the toiling three men in Vicki's jet wagon, Flash questions her about the blue ones. The Queen shivers, says that they're frightful creatures like huge jellyfish, cruel and cunning. Intent on watching the harvesters, Flash and Vicki fail to see the pale blue shapes, lurking in the wet forest. All these guns and kills have mean King Stang dead. I don't like them. Yes, but I imagine if Flash had done that, then he would have quickly been surrounded by King Stang's men and Flash himself might have been killed. I suppose so. Well, we'll find out more about them next week. Now it's time to go to the first page of the second section. And I'll read that in just a moment. But first, here's that nice man again with something interesting to say. Now here we go again with Puck the Comic Weekly, and on the first page of the second section, Dagwit and Blondie. Magic words for the music, please. Very well, my lady. Let's go for Dagwit and Blondie. The bumpsters are shopping today, and while they're in a store, Dagwit's daughter says, Dad, he hates with the money I save. Dagwit replies, All right, we'll do it right now. So they go to the toy department. And there they look at some skates. And the salesman says, The skates are $2. They're just what I want. Dagwit whispers, Dagwit takes Cookie out of the store. Last picture, top row, Dagwit says to Cookie when they're outside. If you look around a bit, you'll get them cheaper than that. First picture, next row, they're in another store. The sales lady shows Cookie a pair of skates. They're $1.95. That's cheaper, Daddy. Cookie, come on, come on. Cookie looks up and surprised. Dagwit leads her out of the store. When they're outside, he tells her, I still find you skates that are even cheaper than that. Blondie tells Cookie that they'll show her how to shop carefully and save money. Last picture, second row, Cookie stops in front of a toy store that has a pair of skates in a window. Oh, no, no, come on, come on. Now we can do even better than that. Whereupon Cookie starts to cry. First picture, third row. Blondie reminds Cookie that a penny saved is a penny earned. And Dagwit says, all right, come on, come on. We'll try this place. Blondie goes off down the street. What can I do for you, sir? We'd like to look at some skates. Very well. Here's a very nice pair. The man answers. Last picture, third row. $1.70. That's the cheapest yet. All right, go ahead. Buy those. First picture, bottom row. Dagwit and Cookie come out of the store with the skates. Now, see, you saved yourself $0.30 by being patient. Suddenly Blondie dashes around the corner. And she tells Dagwit there's a big sale on women's suits around the corner and asks for $30 quick. Dagwit goes... And last picture, Dagwit's in the women's shop as Blondie tries on her new suit. Dagwit hands the sales lady $30. Cookie says... And Blondie replies, we certainly are dear. And Dagwit, thinking of the $30 grinds his teeth in anger. Yes, he's looking from one store to the other, brought Blondie to the place where she could see the suits that were on sale. But Dagwit never wins. No, no, Dagwit never wins. But you will if you turn over the page because now it's time for Roy Rogers. Oh, there he is, Roy. Very well, here we go with Roy Rogers, King of the Cowboys. Now here we go with Roy and Frigger. Roy has arrived in Pine City. He's talking to his friend the sheriff. They're standing in front of the bank which is boarded up and the sheriff is explaining... Well, the last robbery broke the bank, Roy. This town face is ruined. Roy replies... Well, there must be some way to get to this Sphinx gang that did this job and break it up, sheriff. Well, they've boarded up in an old mission. Impossible to get in. Roy decides to see what he can do to help the sheriff run down the gang. He mounts his horse, third picture top row and says to the sheriff... Here's my plan, sheriff. I'll pose as a wanted man and try to get into the gang. The sheriff replies... I hate to give up, Roy, but if you fail, I'll have to ask the governor for the militia. Then later, last picture top row, Roy is galloping toward the gang's hideout. A tough-looking hombre lurking on the ledge above the road sees Roy approaching. He says to himself... Well, first time I ever seen an owl heading for the Sphinx's gang hideout alone. He must be a new recruit. First picture bottom row, as Roy passes under the ledge, the man drops the last shoe over Roy's shoulders. Hey, somebody's trying to hog-time me. Hey, Trigger, run! There ain't no horse strong enough to pull Brimstone Barlow off his feet. Barlow braces his feet against the ledge. Trigger lunges forward. That's it, Trigger. He'll have to let go now. Suddenly, there's a sharp crack. He's trying to get away. Oh, suddenly, there's a sharp crack. Barlow yells, Hey, hey, the ledge is giving way! At last picture, Barlow lies beside the road, pinned beneath pieces of the broken ledge. Bless you, you'll pray for this. Roy answers, Give me those guns. And then he sees that the barrels of the guns are plugged, and Roy exclaims, Hey, what kind of a bandit are you? Plugged guns can't fire. Yes, he found out the hard way that he'd picked the wrong horse. I'm surprised he wasn't killed by the pieces of rock that fell all around him. Me, too. I can't understand what he was up to, or why his gun barrels are plugged. I can't understand. Well, next week, maybe we'll find out. Now let's turn over to the last page of all and Dick's adventures. And I'm anxious to read that because Dick is in the early days of America in the American Navy with Lieutenant Oliver Perry. And the Americans are at war with the English. And at the moment, Dick is on board the newly built American ship that's called the Lawrence. And it was prepared to engage the British ship in battle. And the British ship was outside the harbor, and it was waiting for the American ship to come out. But a terrible thing has happened. You bet it is terrible. Lieutenant Perry started to sail his ship out of the harbor, and she got stuck on a sandbar. Oh, if the British take them now, they could just blow the American ship to pieces. But I wonder what can happen. Well, let's read now and find out. Here we go with Dick's adventures. Let's say the magic words with me. Riggity-pack-de-zack-de-zick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. Riggity-pack-de-zack-de-zick. Let's have music for adventurous Dick. As Perry realizes his ship is stuck on the sandbar, he's sure he'll be attacked by the British. Last picture top row, a single gesture from Perry sends every man swiftly and noiselessly to his battle station aboard the unmovable Man of War. Not a man among them, but expects the next instant to be blown into kingdom come. First picture second row, they silently stand by, waiting for the attack which they are sure will come, waiting to fight back with every ounce of powder and every nerve in their bodies. There's an ominous whiff. But from the outer darkness where the British cannon should be blasting fire, not a sound comes. Another silent gesture from Perry sends Dick last picture second row, racing up the rigging to see if he can why the British are passing up this perfect opportunity to destroy the helpless American ship. First picture bottom row, Dick stares through the darkness and then he can hardly believe his own eyes. In the pale moonlight he sees the British fleet sailing away and he shouts, they hold down and heading toward Canada. Then Dick scrambles down the rigging a relieved smile in his face and then to his crew changed suddenly from men about to die to men alive with joy. Perry Riley announces my impression gentlemen that our enemy has sailed off to attend a banquet to celebrate the king's birthday and to give us a chance to get off this blasted sandbar. Oh yes it really was. And just because the English sailors decided to celebrate the king's birthday they missed their chance to attack Perry. Yes and let's hope by next week he gets his ship off the sandbar so he'll be in a position to fight the British in their own terms. Oh I hope he can. Now please read me Rusty Riley because this is going to be the day when the race is supposed to be run. Yes the day when Rusty has his chance to win the thousand dollars to give to Mrs. Jones. And then she won't have to turn her phone so quick read please. Very well here we go with Rusty Riley. Gallop and run till the road is dusty. Give us music for his horse and Rusty. Rusty is mounted on his horse space pilot. All right come on Rusty it's almost time for the race. Rusty answers. Well okay Pete it's too bad I don't have a jockey suit but well I guess that won't bother a space pilot. A friend stovepipe who has been such a big help to the boy smiles. Success my lad. Success. Rusty joins the line of horses moving toward the track. He smiles nervously to Pete who is trotting along beside. Well we just luck Pete we've just got to get that money to save the farm for Nell and her mother. Well I'm calling for you Rusty and I'll be right in the front of the grandstand. Mr. Stovepipe somehow got a couple of box seats. A few minutes later last picture top row Stovepipe and Pete are in their seats in the grandstand watching the horses as they approach the post. Stovepipe smiles. Excellent seats excellent seats. Reminds me of my private box at Ashconn. Ah my boy this is truly the sport of kings. Especially one as a proprietary interest in one of the entries. Pete answers. Well Rusty and I are aren't thinking about the fun. It's Nell's mother. Oh jeepers they're ready to start. And then they're off. The first picture of Adam Roll the horses leave from the starting post for the thunder of hoops. Rusty is in second place as they go to the first turn. A jockey riding beside Rusty says to himself. I thought this kid on my left would be a pushover. But he's got a horse. Then he can ride him. Rusty shouts. All right come on come on space pilot. In the grandstand Stovepipe leans forward excitedly. Come on Rusty come on my boy. I drove that chap in the red and yellow silk is leading by half a length. And Rusty can't close up an inch. Last picture the horses come into the home stretch. Rusty leans over space pilot's neck and he says in space pilot's here. Please space pilot. If you never win another race please win this one. Now don't get so excited. We'll find out for sure next week what happens. Well you'll have to spend seven days crossing your fingers for Rusty. But I wonder if I can wait. Well we'll see you next week what happens. Now that's all the time I have. But before I go here's that nice fellow with some more interesting information. And all your boys and girls I gotta go now. All right Mr. Cromby weekly man. But I'll be waiting for you next week. OK that's the date and the date with all your boys and girls. Be sure to meet me with our little friend Miss Honey next week when I read Puck the comic weekly. For I'm the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man I'll be back to read the funnies to you happy boys and honey. Don't forget boys and girls see you all next week. Your friend the comic weekly man the jolly comic weekly man