 At one point in time, the original Mortal Kombat film was considered Champagne Cinema when compared to all the other offerings out there. That is, until the sequel came out, I'm kidding. Or am I? I am. I am. Today I'm ranking the three live-action Mortal Kombat films on Best and Worst. It has begun! Terrific! Mortal Kombat Annihilation came out in 1997, but you wouldn't be faulted for thinking it came out much earlier. It looks like crap. The effects were dated from the onset, looking like some fresh dog shit wrapped in computer-generated, well, dog shit. The fight choreography is comically stupid. Look at this shot of Sub-Zero. What is going on with his legs? Who thought this was a good look? Almost every single aspect of this movie is monumentally worse than its predecessor. The music is about the only thing that still kills it. Too bad it's accompanied by dollar store Halloween costumes, hilariously cheesy overacting, and a plot that goes against every single fundamental of storytelling. Now here's the thing. The film is so gloriously bad. It's actually really, really fun to watch. There's never a dull moment. The scenes come and go faster than my quarters did back in the arcade cabinets in the 90s. There are like 35 different fight scenes. All of them awful. The same can be said for the character roster. I think even Rain and Ermac show up. Just a glorious shit show. Half the actors were replaced, the CGI looks worse than Ice Age 1, and the whole thing caps off perfectly, with truly haunting visuals of animalities. It's a dumpster fire of a film that just so happens to be 1,000% rewatchable. It was only a matter of time before MK got rebooted. An isolation was supposed to get a sequel called Devastation, but alas, further comedy gold couldn't be mined from its remains. Now that Warner Brothers is in charge of the property, they were committed to doing the fans right this time. A hard R rating. Lots of gore and swearing. And of course, a focus on a character everyone loves. Cool. Sarcasm. Subscribe. I understand wanting to get away from Luke Hanks since he was the previous protagonist, but what in the absolute hell were they thinking here? Also, Liu Kang was awesome in both previous Mortal Kombat films with his thick, lush, beautiful hair and awesome shirtless posing. I think the actor could still knock it out of the park today. But instead, they opted for a younger looking Liu Kang. Just from first glance, he looks to be about 12. I have no doubt the actor could kick the shit out of me, but the casting in general is a big step down. They don't look the part is the point I'm driving at. Sure, they all know martial arts this time around, but you gotta have a face for cinema. And the new MK class doesn't hold a flame to the original crew. Everyone but Kano, who for some reason is the highlight of this, you know you've screwed Mortal Kombat up when your best character is Kano, a dude that literally shoots a tiny laser beam out of his eye and that's his claim to fame. There's much to learn. The fuck? We're not here. Scorpion and Sub-Zero were appropriately all over the marketing for this, and they appear to have a very cool, rich history full of pain, revenge, and evidently a slow trip through hell. Would have been nice to see any of that on the screen. Instead, we have about 10 minutes total of these guys. And I have no idea what Scorpion's deal is, why he needs to wear a mask, why he can control fire, like what happened down there in hell. What's going on? And don't give me some crap like Adam. You need to play all the video games or they explained it in Mortal Kombat 7 or the graphic novels or the spin-off cartoon or web series. Like, shut up! I pay to watch these movies for a storyline that makes even a slight amount of sense. I shouldn't be required to know anything else. You want to throw little Easter eggs in and tips of the hat for the video game fans? That's fine. But you have to at least have a competent story. Goro is just the Hulk and he gets bested by stupid Cole and his stupid ass golden batons. How is this guy more lame than Stryker from Mortal Kombat 3? I put this movie above annihilation because it genuinely has some cool fights, awesome fatalities, and again, Kano. Oh, I also have to give a special shout-out to Thick Molina. Pants have never looked so happy to be on someone. She needed more screen time. Or at least part of her did. Even though 1995's Mortal Kombat is still one of the best video game movies out there, it's far from a flawless victory. It's a line from the games. It has that same kind of fighting style that movies like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles did. It's got some flash, it's got a few slick moves, but ultimately it's pretty corny. What makes this film a real winner is the casting. Johnny Cage was so perfect, they didn't even bother putting him in the new movie. It's Liu Kang, Sonya Blade, Shang Tsung, and Raiden having a blast with the material, and it clearly shows. Scorpion and Sub-Zero are treated more like late-stage bosses, but at least they don't do shit like this. The soundtrack blows most action films right out of the Netherrealm, and the story is straightforward silliness that at least is digestible. The effects are definitely on the cartoonish side, yet look like James Cameron's avatar when compared to its sequel. There are plenty of nods to the games for fans too. From the iconic catchphrases to the more interesting fighting moves, it makes good use of the PG-13 rating. Yes, an R rating definitely would have been preferred, but all things considered, this Mortal Kombat remains undefeated still. Well, there you have it, the definitive ranking of Mortal Kombat films. Do you agree with my take or my way off? Let me know your order in the comments. Comments spelled with a K, of course. Feel free to uppercut that subscribe button for more best and worst videos.