 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Casanova Brown starring Gary Cooper, Thomas Mitchell and Joan Bennett. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil D. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood ladies and gentlemen. When you hear the name of Casanova, you probably think of him as a notorious Italian lover of the 18th century, but he was a lot more than that. He was an author and a diplomat and a man of learning and good taste, and while his life was not without its lurid side, he ended as an innocent librarian. In tonight's play, you'll meet his namesake and descendant, Casanova Brown. What Casanova's record is in amorous adventure you are about to learn, but like the earlier Casanova, he too is a man of taste and learning, and most decidedly a family man, which may go somewhat oddly with the Casanova name, and he is Gary Cooper. For Gary plays Casanova Brown in tonight's production of that current international picture. Costard with Gary is Charming Joan Bennett and the versatile Thomas Mitchell. Together they bring us the memoirs of a modern Casanova. I won't tell you more than that except to say that when Gary worked for me making the story of Dr. Wassell, I put him through some very difficult predicaments, but none so odd as in tonight's play where he finds himself taking care of a three weeks old baby. Gary tells me that his fan mail now gives him advice on baby care. I don't know whether those letters mentioned washing baby villains in Lux Flakes, but a 70 year old lady writes me that she has knit over 150 pairs of socks for men in the service. She says I wash them all in Lux Flakes just as soon as I finish each pair so that they'll be pleasant to wear. To that kind lady should go a reward for both our patriotism and our good taste. And now it's curtain time again. And here's act one of Casanova Brown, starring Gary Cooper as Kaz, Thomas Mitchell as J.J., and Joan Bennett as Isabel. Isabel, you've got to listen to me. It was all a terrible action when I know, but it doesn't have to come between it. Look, I'll make up for it somehow, I'll... Oh, Kaz, why did you have to spoil it all? But nothing spoiled really, Isabel. Or is it? Look at me. No, no. All right, Isabel. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry we ever met each other. And I'm sorry for what I couldn't help. Goodbye, Isabel. Goodbye, Kaz. Well, he's lost her. Another romance on the rocks. The original Casanova would have kissed away the lady's tears and swept her back into his arms. But our Casanova, Casanova Brown, simply sighed, went to the Grand Central Station and bought a one-way ticket for his hometown. Now, in Rossmore, Illinois, he's getting off the train and running up to meet him is a different young lady. Yes, Kaz, darling. Oh, Maj. Turn over and let me out of your sight again, please. Why, darling, what is it? Is something the matter? I was crazy to go away and leave you. I'm not safe without you, Maj. Oh, well, darling, we'll be together again. And it's true what you said in the telegram. Is what true? That you want us to get married. Right away and settle down and have a happy quiet life together. A nice quiet life together, Maj. Darling, you're all upset. You'll get a good night's rest and tomorrow you can talk to Dad. Talk to JJ? Why? Well, isn't the prospective groom supposed to ask permission of the bride's father? But to JJ? I know, but it's merely a formality. Tomorrow, darling, tomorrow. I've just about reached the end of my patience. It's intolerable that I should continually be called out of the chamber. Oh, wait a minute, darling. There's someone in there with Dad. It's an apparently endless series of vulgar accusations. And now I'm afraid I must ask you to leave. But, Grandpa, somebody took my piggy bank. If I hear another word about that blasted piggy bank of yours, I'll flatten your mechanoset. Did you hear that? Oh, Dad's always angry since Mother and I put him on an allowance. Well, don't you think we ought to wait for a more proficient moment if he's already angry? Just blast that gridly bear stuff. He really loves us very much. I do not. I adore you, that's all. Kaz wants to talk to you, Dad. Oh, hello, Kaz. How are you, JJ? Well, Madge, there's no call for you putting your nose into this, is there? None-whatever, Dad. I'll see you downstairs, Kaz. What a revolting female she is. Well, sit down, Kaz. Here, take my chair. Thanks, JJ. Ouch! What's the matter? Something under the cushion. Oh, a piggy bank. Piggy bank? Odd place to put it. Well, Kaz, what can I do for you? Well, you know, I've missed our little talk since you went east, not that I was the sole reason for your frequent visits. Oh, that was... Oh, it's quite all right, Kaz. I've not been blind to this little dead-fall marriage asset for you, my boy. But you're much too intelligent to be taken in by that very female. Well, perhaps I'd better make my position clear, JJ. Well, I mean, Kaz. Well, uh, you've known me. You've known my family for a good many years. Oh, yes. We've never been well-to-do, but we've always maintained a certain respectability. Proud but poor, I suppose you might describe us. Of course. If the poor can get any satisfaction out of being proud, why not? Costs nothing. Uh, my salary as professor of literature isn't unificent, but it's adequate. And as for my character, I believe I behave reasonably. I'm not overly susceptible to girls. So what? The point of this whole thing seems to have eluded me somewhere. Well, I'm simply trying to tell you that I want to marry her. Marry whom? Marry Madge, of course. Madge? You out of your mind? I am not. For whatever on earth for? Well, because I love her, of course. Now, Madge? Ho-ho-ho, cop now, Kaz. That's just downright silly. You must have a better reason than that. What is it, her money? Now, just a minute. Because if it is, you might just as well forget the whole matter. I have precisely the same idea with her mother. I haven't the slightest interest in Madge's money. Oh, they've got it all right. Bucket some of it. By George, I've dreamed about that dough just to get my mitts into that cash box for ten minutes. But no, no, no. Well, they turned me down cold. I'll never forgive them, Kaz. Never. And I think you've got exactly what you deserve for being a shameless, unmitigated scoundrel. I suppose so, but it was a bit of disappointment, just the same. Mrs. Ferris has already given her consent. Then I used to dream about outliving her. Just sit it out, as it were. But along came Madge and her sister and now her odious little boy. No use, Kaz. I tell you, they're eternal. All of them. Listen, JJ, yes or no, just for the record. No. What? You'll probably go right ahead and marry that repulsive female anyway. When is the hanging to take place? In June. Mrs. Ferris wants it to wait. And thanks a lot for giving us your blessing, JJ. All right. Hey, now wait a minute, Kaz. Where did I put that urchin's piggy bank? Oh, hiya, JJ. Time for the rehearsal? Just about. Bogey up the morning mail. Thanks. Look, Kaz, you still got time to crash out of this booby trap. There's a fast train leaving for Chicago. By one o'clock it could be across the border into Canada. No use, JJ. This is the day before my wedding, and I refuse to be demoralized by a cold-blooded sinner like you. They cut my allowance again today down to $25 now. Good. The shape of things to come, my boy. Now, where else could you get $25 a week just by sitting around developing stomach ulcers? Look through that mail while I finish up, will you, JJ? Uh-huh. Well, they're just bills, bills and ads. Willow Street Cleaners, New York University. Ellen Harris Maternity Hospital, North Haven Country. Well, I'll be shoving along, Kaz. Anything I can do to ease your misery? No, thank you, JJ. See you in church. Uh-huh. What a duration, eh? This is going too far. Huh? Ellen, where is it? This is, uh... See here, Kaz. Are you planning already to have a family? Would you object to minding your own business? This is my business. How many grandchildren he has is every man's business. And if you're negotiating already with a maternity hospital... What? Let me see that letter. Some men say they can't have too many grandchildren, but I'm one that can. Huh. But you don't want to add when you see one? Add? Well, they've got a nerve. Let's see. What excuse they give for soliciting a man's business before he's even married? Sounds unethical to me. Mr. Kazanova Q. Brown. Dear sir. Hmm. Well, this is rather a sinister method of solicitation. Listen to this. A matter of personal importance and one which I would rather not take up in correspondence unless you prefer. You know, Kaz, I was involved in a little blackmail accident at one time. Letter sounded exactly like this. Uh, I suggest that at your earliest convenience you call at the hospital and consult with me. Cordially yours, Martha Zanicki M.D. Let me see that. You know this female or this hospital? Never heard of either. Strange, very strange. Hey, great Scott, the time. We're going to be late for the wedding rehearsal. Holy smoke. Hand me that side, JJ. Well, here's the sucker. John, I do wish you wouldn't have heard of Kaz like that. I said here's the sucker. When do we test the scaffold? We're starting the rehearsal right away. Mr. Ferris, will you take your blade beside Mrs. Ferris? Now, when everybody gets ready, please everybody gets ready. Uh, just a minute, Kaz. If this was a mistake, how will they get your address? Uh, I don't know anything about it. You didn't write to them asking about prices or anything like that. No, of course not. Well, there may be some, Mr. Brown. Mr. Ferris, up beside the bride, please. Kaz? Lovely, lovely. He doesn't care. Uh, Madge, do you know anything about the Ellen Harris Maternity Hospital in Chicago? Well, I've seen a so rough bride. She goes straight up through the stairs. Seems that somebody's counting on you having quite a family. Yeah, but I haven't seen about any, doctor. Splendid, splendid. Now, may we have quiet please? And another thing, Kaz. What about the queue? Well, if there was a mistake, how will they get you middle initial? Father. What? The rehearsal. Is he all right? I heard that. Oh, quiet please, please. Someday somebody's going to say that just once too often. Dad. Suppose somebody asked you if you were out of your mind. How would you feel and how would you prove you weren't? Oh, John, dear. Huh? Kaz, Kaz, what is it? Oh, I'm sorry. I don't feel very well. Well, Kaz, darling. I'm sorry. I'll please excuse me for a few minutes. No. Well, I don't wonder. If I was in his shoes, I'd certainly feel nauseated. Hey, Kaz. Wait for me. Close the door, JJ. Unlock it. Now, look, Kaz. If that letters a mistake, we're in a position to knock off quite a little quick dough. They can't run around scaring the pants off young bridegrooms. We'll threaten to sue them, then we'll settle out of court. Why not? Well, because it may not be a mistake. But of course it's a mistake. What'd you say? I said it may not be a mistake. Oh. Oh. What is, Kaz? I don't know. I tried to call her on the phone long distance, but she wasn't there. Called whom? I just don't know what to do. Kaz, if you fail to touch a base somewhere, I'm not without a measure of experience. No, no, no. Nothing like that, JJ. Yes? I'm in a very, a very peculiar situation. Listen, can I trust you to keep your mouth shut about this? Oh, of course, Kaz. The trouble is, I just can't be sure. I mean, why Chicago? I don't know. Why? If it had been New York, yes. But Chicago? If you don't mind my saying so, Kaz, I don't seem to have anything to keep my mouth shut around. Look, last year I wrote a book about that scandalous ancestor of mine called Casanova in Florence. Well, now, Kaz, don't you think we can skip the high-minded aspects and get strictly down to the nubbin? Uh, I took the manuscript to New York, and while I was there, I met a girl. Ah, now, you're getting somewhere. Isabelle. Isabelle, eh? What was she like? Well, have you ever seen the sun come up at dawn? Yes, I have. It settled my stomach. Well, I like the way she walked and her eyes, her eyes were like burnt charred embers in a field of snow. Hmm, large face, eh? She was going to college in the city. Well, what was the score at this point? Well, I, I was driving home one night in a car that I had rented. Oh, it's such a lovely night. Oh, nice moon. Makes you sort of hate to go indoors. Well, why go indoors? It's early yet. How about driving up the river? Oh, I'd love to. Well, that is, if you think it's all right. Why wouldn't it be all right? I mean, you probably got a girl back home. Girl back home? Well, hasn't you? Well, no, that is, well, yes, except. Except what? Well, what she got to do with it. Nothing. We can still be good friends. You know, I feel so comfortable when you're around, Kaz. I feel as if I'd known you all my life. We drove on up the river, J.J. She told me about herself, about her folks. Yes, I was going to ask you about that, Kaz, her parents. Do they have to? Oh, plenty of it. Good, good now. This is getting more instinct. Well, we drove until midnight. And finally, we came to a little town. You know, one of those nice little towns. Sleepy? Uh-uh. I could drive on like this forever. You don't mind my head on your shoulder. No, I like it there. Where are we? Just outside Mayfield. Mayfield? Yep. You know someone here? Well, Kaz, isn't this the place where they have so many runaway marriages? You know, by justice of the team, people come from New York so they won't have to wait. Yeah, yeah, I guess it is. Kaz, you, you didn't pick this road deliberately, did you? No, I, well, I swear I didn't do the bell, but, but it's a bell. Uh, do you believe in predestination? I never thought about it, Kaz. Do you? Well, I never did, but tonight I almost feel like could. Look, Kaz, that sign there, underneath the light. Wilfred Brunkel, justice of the team. Caesar, Kaz. You mean you married her? That's right, JJ. We got married by the justice of the team that night. Good grief. I see. I see what you mean by saying you're in a very peculiar situation. JJ, I've got to get to the bottom of this whole thing. I should think you do, my boy. But how? Where's my bag? I'm going to Chicago. Right now. Now before our stars return with act two of Casanova Brown, I've got a Christmas quiz for Libby. What kind of a quiz, Mr. Kennedy? I say a word, and before this bell rings, you give me the first word that pops into your head. Okay. What's the first one? Christmas. Tree. Good. Now, uh, mistletoe. Oh, quiz. Oh, just made it. Here's another. Stockings. Locks. But Libby, you were supposed to say presents. You know the presents in the stockings. Not me, Mr. Kennedy. When anyone mentions stockings, I just naturally think of Washington with locked plates. Now, if you said presents, then I would have said stockings. Because stockings are one of the most popular Christmas presents. In spite of no nylons? Oh, my yes. The new rounds are so lovely. Girls really like them now. And there are lots of interesting new cop meshes for country and sportswear. You win. Uh, how do you win? Reap. Chimney. Stockings. Oh, no. I was thinking of Santa Claus. But I see what you mean. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. Mm-hmm. Although, of course, nobody would ever hang good stockings by a chimney or any other kind of heat. The right care for those Christmas stockings is gentle luck's care. I see. I can't get your mind off stockings, Libby. So I'll just add that strain tests prove stockings washed with gentle luck's flakes last twice as long as those washed with strong soap or rubbed with cake soap. Like this. You get twice the wear from every pair with gentle luck's care. We pause now for station identification. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Act two of Casanova Brown, starring Gary Cooper as Kaz, Joan Bennett as Isabel, and Thomas Mitchell as JJ. Not many men learn on their wedding eve that they may be the father of an unsuspected heir resulting from a previous unadmitted marriage, but true to the best traditions of his name say Casanova. Our Casanova finds himself in this somewhat odd predicament. In his bachelor rooms he tries to explain the situation to his prospective father-in-law who takes it as probably few fathers-in-law would. But why do you want to rush off to Chicago? Because I want to know the truth. I don't want any secrets between me and Madge. Madge? Your marriage to Isabel gets you out of being tied up to Madge. I'm not married to Isabel. Huh? Her parents had the marriage annulled. Oh, they didn't take kindly to the idea. Well, there were attending circumstances not too helpful. I see. You hadn't been married before that. Had you? No, no, it was this way. A few days after we were married, we went over to meet her parents. Home in the suburbs was like a palace. We knew they were upset so we agreed that I'd wait in the drawing room while Madge went in and calmed them down. I can just imagine what a grilling that poor girl went through. Well, how did you meet him? Who introduced you? We just met at the library, Mother. We asked for the same book at the same time. Uh, what does he do? He's an author, Dad. Oh, like Mr. Louis Brownfield? Not exactly. They didn't accept Kaz's book. Oh, but it's wonderful, Mother, all about his ancestor, Kazanova. Kazanova? You're married in Italian? Oh, Kazanova's a historical character, Edward. Rather sad. Oh. But Mother Kaz is nothing like that, believe me. He's kind and gentle. Just meeting him and talking to him will tell you why I fell in love with him. I'll get him. No, no, not yet, dear. In moments like this, there is one place we can always turn for guidance. To the stars. Mother, you're not going to drag that astrology stuff in, oh, Dad. Oh, no, dear. Mother knows this. And the stars know better still. Now, here's the book I was looking for. Astrology and Marriage. Oh, when was he born, dear? His birthday's April 8th. He's 37. April 8th, 1907. April the 8th. Ah. Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Dear. Oh. Oh, you poor child. Well, there's nothing to begin by keeping these facts from him. Invite him in, dear. Oh, the poor, poor, sad dear. Are they sore? No, no, but be careful, will you? Oh, you're smoking. Yes, I was a little nervous waiting. Oh, I forgot to tell you. Mother can't stand men who smoke. The butler told me, but I couldn't find an ashtray. Any place to put it. Oh, hurry. Do something with it. A handkerchief. I'll smother it in my handkerchief. Now, be careful, dear. Won't you? You won't do or say anything. I'll do my best, of course. Tell you how depressed I am, Mr. Brown. I want you to understand that there's nothing personal about it. Well, I hope not naturally. Mr. Brown, this whole project is broke with disaster. Thank you, pardon. Do you realize, Mr. Brown, where Sagittarius was on the day of this marriage? No, I'm afraid I don't. On September 3rd, Sagittarius was in the fifth through the House of Neptune. Oh, really? On that same day, listen closely, Capricorn was adverse, Virgo was discordant, and Taurus. Taurus was in textile aspect of Venus. In short, catastrophe. But that's astrology. Of course. Who else would we know how to govern our lives? Do you smoke? No. No, thank you. No, that is... I thought for a moment I detected a slight order of tobacco or something. Well, now, let us turn to your birthday. Excuse me, Mrs. Rury. Yes? Do you mean that you would base your approval or disapproval of your daughter's marriage on that nonsense? Nonsense, Mr. Brown. It wouldn't possibly have picked a worse word. You don't believe in astrology, I take it? No, I don't believe in astrology. I don't believe in crystal gazing and I don't believe in Beersud's reading. And if I did, I wouldn't impose that belief on the lives of two people who love each other. What does that mean? Do you even know their marriage spell calamity? What kind of calamity? There's no chance of any calamity in this marriage. Mr. Brown, are you on fire? What? He seems to be burning something in his pocket. Oh, I'm sorry. I can't understand it. Package it, package it. Caught on fire. Careful, dear. His coat's on fire, too. Well, how do you like that? It must have burned right on through. Yes, I know. It's burning the rug. I sugar it. Oh, look, the chair. Oh, step on it, somebody. The chair's on fire, too. Charles, Charles. Get some water from that bug. This is most embarrassing. Some water, Charles. Now, what are you doing to that chair? It's got down into the stuffing. I have to pour it out. Oh, look out. The curtain catch you. Water, water! What did you have in your pocket, Roman Kendall's? Oh, beat it out. Come help me beat it out. No, no, no. You're just fanning it. Where's Charles with that water? Water won't help now. You need a hose. Call the fire department. Fire department, fire department. No, Edward, no. Telephone! Oh, yes, telephone. Charles, call the fire department. My word, yes, uh, my word. Mr. Casanova, you're a fireman maniac. That's what you are, a fiend. Help! Help! Help! Oh, the firemen have gone. The firemen have gone? The house is gone. Mr. Drury, uh, Mr. Drury. Don't you come near me. I find myself in an extremely awkward position. You certainly do if I'm any judge of awkward positions. I know. I know I owe you both a genuine sincere apology. That's good. He burns down a $750,000 house and he apologizes. That's very good indeed. Get away from here. But Mr. Drury. Isabelle. Get away and stay away. Isabelle, come away from that infidel. Oh, look, Mrs. Drury. Don't you come near me. I would as soon associate with a time bar. But Mrs. Drury, it's a terrible thing. I know, but don't you understand an accident? Accident? You call it an accident with Sagittarius in the fifth solar house of Neptune? Sagittarius, my eye. That's downright idiotic. Don't care, please. Listen, Mrs. Drury, you may interpret your life through fingernail pairings, but that's got nothing to do with me and Isabelle. You can leave Isabelle out of your calculations, Mr. Brown. I will not see her fly twice in the face of astral warning. Astral warnings? What have I married into? Who do worshipers? Kaz, you can't talk to my mother like that. Then tell her to shut up about those stars. With Sagittarius in the fifth... Listen, you ignorant old crackpot. I burned that house down. Sagittarius had nothing to do with it. It was me. And now he's boasting about it. Isabelle. Oh, Mother, what shall I do? Isabelle, you've got to listen to me. It is all a terrible accident. I know, but it doesn't have to come between us. Kaz. Look, I'll make up for it somehow. Kaz, why did you have to spoil it? Nothing spoil really, Isabelle. Or... Or is it? Look at me. No. No. All right, Isabelle. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry we ever met each other, and I'm sorry for what I couldn't help. Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye. And if I can think of any way to train the law on you, I'll do it. And that's all, J.J. That was the end. Yeah, I can see what you mean by circumstances attending the annulment of the marriage. It happened so fast I never had a chance to break the engagement with Madge, and then when it was over, I just wanted to forget to come back here and take up what I'd left off. Well, now your first wife may be about to present you with a child on your wedding eve. What have you got to do about it? Go to Chicago, like I said. I can catch the midnight, find out what happened, and fly back tomorrow afternoon. But this is a chump idea, even if it is a baby. Why do you have to do anything about it? Well, if it's true, I'm going to make a clean burst of the whole thing tonight. Cast. Promise me one thing. Don't go crashing in there yelling, I'm the papa. You understand? Chicago is a big city. A lot of activity, and if there's been a misdeal somewhere, you don't want to be left holding the spare card, do you? No, I understand. From the moment you step into that hospital, walk on eggs. No matter what anybody says, no speaking. You weren't even there that night. You were attending a bean supper in the YMCA in Cleveland. And good luck, my boy. Ellen Harris Hospital. Good morning, Mr. Ministry. Ellen Harris Hospital. Excuse me. My name is Brown. Katherine Over Brown. Good morning, Mr. Brown. Take writing here, please. We'll call you when we're ready. Well, I'm looking for Dr. Martha Zernickie. I know, I know. We'll call you as soon as you're to go in. But surely you can tell me something. You have nothing to worry about. Mother and child are doing nicely. Oh, then it is a child. Well, what did you think it was going to be? Please wait for an order in the father's room, Mr. Brown. I know just what you're going through, bud. If they had nine watches in this hospital, they wouldn't tell a father what time it was. Is this your first? Yes. How long you been married? Oh, I'm not married. What? Oh. Oh, an onion, hey? Here comes an order, again. Hey, what's new? Mr. Brown, will you please come with me? I wanted to see Dr. Zernickie. You understand? Yes, I understand. Just come with me. Okay. Take off your clothes. What are you talking about? And put this gown on. Just a minute now. I came here to see Dr. Zernickie. I know it. Get your clothes off. All they want is a physical exam. Physical examination? Me? Well, you're the father, aren't you? It's a matter of routine. Oh, well. Well, it just seemed kind of funny. I've just been over your report, Mr. Brown. It seems you're in excellent physical condition. Well, I'm mighty glad to hear it, Dr. Zernickie. And I want to thank you for coming here. A report like this on file simplifies the case tremendously. We know what possible complications might develop. And in this instance, I would say the baby was very fortunate. By the way, wouldn't you like to see her? Well, uh, is it all right? Of course. Right through this door. She's such a darling. Even the nurses are fallen in love with her. Of course we have to keep them behind this glass partition. But if you look in that third crib, you will see her. The name Drillie. There she is. Well, well, what do you know? Like her? Oh, she's fine. But, uh, how would you say she compares with others of her age, her weight? Oh, perfectly normal. Oh, just normal, huh? Well, perhaps a bit better. And, uh, I know this sounds rather foolish, but has she all of her arms and fingers and toes, I suppose? Nothing missing, I mean. A full set. The customary number and variety. Have you seen her mother? Who? Her mother, Miss Drillie. Oh, was she here, too? By strange coincidence, yes. She's in the solarium. Uh, and, uh, her parents. Only Mr. Drillie, and he's not with her now. Wouldn't you like to see her? Oh, very much, please. It's right down there, into the corridor, then to the right. Uh, it doesn't strike you, and I don't say that just because she's my child either, but it doesn't strike you that her head seems to be just a little better shaped than, uh, uh, usual at such an early age. Oh, there's no question about it. It'll be a very lucky family that gets that child. Oh, thank you. Turn to the right, you said. That's right. Hey! Hey, wait a minute. Yes? What did you mean by the family that gets that child? I mean the family that gets it for adoption. For adoption? What adoption? Well, I thought you understood. Miss Drillie's registered the child for adoption. That's why we needed your medical record. Well, who had that fool idea? Well, I'd hardly describe it as a fool idea. Well, do you actually mean you're peddling my daughter to some lazy idiot who hasn't got a family? Miss Drillie's title of the child is clear and legal. Well, what about the father? Well, what's he supposed to do? Just stand around and twiddle his fingers? Really, Mr. Brown, these are matters you must take up with Miss Drillie. If you'll excuse me. Certainly. Thanks. Oh, hello, Karen. Look here, Isabelle. What's this about, uh... Oh, geez. Isabelle, you look good. Thank you, Karen. You're looking quite well yourself. No, uh, complications? No, isn't it wonderful? I was so scared. I suppose everybody is, but everything went right on schedule. Did you see the baby? Did I? Oh. Oh, yes. Say, what's the idea of giving my baby away? Your baby. Isn't it? Technically, yes. All right, then. What's the idea of giving my technical baby away? If you're going to raise your voice, Kaz, I'm afraid I'll have to go back to my room. I'm not raising my voice. I just want to know what's the idea. If you're going to shout. I'm not shouting. I'm... I'm sorry. I'm not excited with that, but... but what is the idea? I'm afraid you forget, Kaz, that I'm under no obligation to account to you. What I choose to do with my baby is my own affair. Well, that's a fine attitude. However, suppose a girl was thinking of getting married again. Suppose this marriage meant the chance of a lifetime for perfect happiness. What are you talking about? Suppose this man idolized you, even as you loved him. Would you take the chance of destroying this whole future by suddenly presenting him with another man's child? Great. Scott, are you planning to get married again? I said, suppose. Well, that's ridiculous. You can't marry anybody. Why can't I? Because you're a mother. Well, that's not stopping you. What are you talking about? I'm not a mother. You're a father and you're getting married again. Who told you that? I read it in the paper. What paper? Well, that's what paper. How'd you get ahold of a Rossmore paper? What difference does it make? It's true, isn't it? You're getting married tonight. Well, but that's different. Oh, is it? Then how would you like to go to marriage tonight and say, look, darling, I've got a little surprise for you and then flash a baby? Well, of course. All right. If you don't want your happiness spoiled, neither do I. But you can't do it, that's all. You just can't throw that baby away. And you can't marry that creep you've dug up either. But you'll be happy, Kaz. But happy with other strangers? But everybody's a stranger to a newborn baby. She doesn't know anybody. She knows us all right. Oh, that's absurd. Why didn't you write to me? Why didn't you write to me? You knew I loved you. You knew there was no one else on earth in the world for me, no matter how nutty your mother was. How was I enough? After the way you left? Well, that fire was an accident, darling. Believe me. I waited and waited and nothing. Not a word. I waited until it seemed foolish to wait any longer. As far as I could see, you just forgot. Forgotten? I've never forgotten. Oh, don't, Kaz, please. It's true, darling. I've tried again and again, but I can't forget you. Please, Kaz, you're in love with someone else. Me? Who? You're engaged to be married. That's right. Holy mackerel. Kaz, why did you wait so long? Isabelle, look, I've got to catch the plane home. But before I get out of here, you've got to do something about that baby. It's too late, Kaz, and there's nothing you can do about it. Oh, isn't there, huh? Well, we'll see if there's nothing I can do about it. Hello? Yes? Chicago? Uh, Mr. Ferris? Yes, he's here. Chicago calling you, Dad. Chicago? He'll be calling from there. Hello? Yes, yes, speaking. Oh, Kaz. Kaz and Chicago. Well, how are you, my boy? Uh, JJ, listen. I find myself in an extremely awkward position. What's that blasted noise behind you? It sounds like a baby. It is a baby. I've kidnapped her. You what? Uh, Isabelle had a baby. She was going to let it be adopted. Give it away. I couldn't let that happen, so I took it. I dressed up like a doctor and sneaked it out of the hospital. Well, how do you like that? Uh, where are you now? Uh, in a telephone booth. Well, I can't stay there. Or can you? Listen, what I want you to do is explain as best you can to Madge and Mrs. Ferris, then take the first plane and meet me at the Hotel Windsor. Uh, bring some money. Money? Where do you expect me to get money? You know the tight wad that I live with. Well, uh, do the best you can. Well, of course, my boy. I'll try to handle it with all the tact and delicacy of a crooked diplomat. Goodbye. That was Kaz. What was he? Just telling me that he met an old friend. But in Chicago, the wedding is at 8. Is he on his way back? Uh, no, he asked me to join him there. No time to lose. By the way, I should have said a new friend. Very new. We'll be back with Act 3 of Casanova Brown in just a moment. Listen. Superports, Red Japan. Carrier planes, attack Jap bases. U.S. Task Force thinks Jap ships. Don't headlines like that give you a thrill. Yes, we've started back. Guam and Leyte are just the beginning on the road that leads to Tokyo. But wait a minute. Before we think the war is won, the Japs still have Burma on the China coast. They hold Java, Malaya, and most of the Philippines. And with them, our sources for a billion pounds of fat a year. No, the war isn't over yet. And it's hard to fight it without that billion pounds of fat the Japs have taken from us. Fat that's needed for the clear plastic windows through which our fliers sight the enemy. For synthetic rubber tires for the planes and life rafts for the Navy. And that's where you come in, Mrs. Housewife. It's up to you to help make up that billion pounds of lost fat by saving every drop left over from your cooking. And keep on saving it. Even when we take those palm and coconut groves again, don't let up. It will take time to restore them. Meanwhile, your government urges you to go right on saving fat. Save every drop of fat from your broiler, your frying pan, and the tops of soups, stews, and gravies. And this is important. Be sure to strain it. Some of the plants where your waste fat goes for rendering say that almost half of what they get is not suitable because it hasn't been strained. So don't let's lose any precious fat. Always pour your used fat through a strainer into the tin can while it's hot to get out food particles. Or cool and skim off after other liquids settle to the bottom. Save every drop every day. When your salvage can is full, take it to your butcher. He's still giving four cents and two red ration tokens for every pound. Now, Mr. DeMille returns to the microphone. As you know, Gary Cooper is now a producer with international pictures. And after the play as a brother producer, I'll try to pry out of him some of the secrets of his new job and you're invited to pry with me. Now here's Act 3 of Casanova Brown, starring Gary Cooper as Kaz, Thomas Mitchell as JJ, and Joan Bennett as Isabelle. It's Casanova's wedding day in Rossmore, Illinois. But far away in Chicago, the groom is otherwise involved and very much so. An hour ago, he kidnapped his three-week-old daughter from a hospital. And now he's hiding in a hotel room, waiting for JJ to join them. Meanwhile, Isabelle, the baby's mother, has just dropped a bum shell in the lap of Dr. Zinnickie. Let me understand, Mr. Rury. You never had the slightest intention of releasing the child for adoption? Oh, I couldn't, Dr. Zinnickie, my own child. But I had to do something to get Mr. Brown to come to us. I see, but I can hardly pretend to approve, Mr. Rury. The deliberate use of the hospital in a scheme to unveil the father's interests. But I just had to know if he still loves me, don't you see? And Dr. Zinnickie, he still does. He belongs with us. Well, what's done is done. Let's hope for the baby's sake that it hasn't been in vain. I suggest now that you find Mr. Brown, bringing the child and settle on when you want to leave the hospital. But now I don't know where he is. Well, from your description of his attitude, he won't leave this hospital without the child. We'll find him, but first let's get the baby. Can I help you, Doctor? Yes, we've come for the Drury, baby. Oh, so Dr. took her out. Took her out? What doctor? I don't know. I'm new here, but he had on a mask and I just assumed he was Mr. Rury's doctor. You mean he took the baby and left? What did he look like? What you could see? He was tall, with dark brown wavy hair and brown eyes. I think he had on a brown suit underneath his gown. Yes, that's correct. He's kidnapped my baby. Hey, Jay, close the door. I expected you here yesterday. Yeah, I know. I couldn't get reservations on the plan. Who's that? Oh, this is Monica, the chambermaid. She helps me with the baby. How do you do? Good grief. And is that it while all the trouble has been about? Yeah, yeah. Here, Monica, you take her while I fix these scales. She even feels as if she's gained. Did you bring any money, JJ? Money? You know that they cut my allowance just last week? Yeah, I was afraid you wouldn't. With a hundred smackers hope? Huh? A hundred dollars? JJ? Where did you get a hundred dollars? Well, I picked it up in a little friendly card game on the plane. JJ, I'm worried. Oh, nothing to worry about. I probably never see the man again. I mean about the baby. She's gained two ounces since I took her from the hospital. Was that bad? Two ounces. That's practically a pound a week. 52 pounds a year. So what? A lot of people like big women. Not that big. Well, at that rate, she'll be about 12 feet high and 4 feet square. At first, I thought it might be glam. Already? But now I'm convinced that it's a formula. We've got to find a formula that will slow her down. Yeah, well, I always thought they threw in a formula, like the next pair of pants. Oh, the formulas at the hospital. Now, we've been following these baby books I bought. Why don't you get the formula from the hospital? Well, how can I? You could telephone. Well, they'd probably recognize my voice and trace the calls. Well, I could telephone. Well, no, no. Now, if anybody calls, it should be Monica. They'd be less apt to suspect a woman. Who should I talk to at the hospital? Dr. Martha Zanicki. State 64567. You'll have to give my name, but that's all. Now, don't tell them anything. Operator, get me state 64567. Uh, Dr. Zanicki, what shall I ask? Well, just ask her what's the dick and jeffeta three weeks old baby. And remember, don't ask her any questions. What about the telegram, Dr. Zanicki? Excuse me, please, Mr. Jory. Hello? Dr. Zanicki, what are we going to do? Yes, Dr. Zanicki. Dr. Zanicki, what do you feed us three weeks old baby? Well, I'm sorry, but I couldn't possibly describe a formula for a baby I don't know, especially over the phone. Who is this speaking? Hello? Hello? That's strange. I'm sorry, what were you saying? About the telegram. Oh, yes. Well, Mr. Jory, I must say your husband, Mr. Brown, is the most unusual father. He's already sent us six telegrams on the baby's health. And if they're true, you have no serious concern on that score. I've engaged a detective agency, and I'd like to give them those telegrams. Of course, Mr. Jory. No, Kaz won't let anything happen to her. I know that, but I want my baby. Naturally. And as for Mr. Kazanova Brown, society isn't safe with him around. Burns down homes, marries girls right and left, steals babies. There's only one place he belongs in jail. Has the detective agency made any progress? I don't so far know, but I'm confident at given time they will. I got it. Look, look, the formula. Formula? What formula? One for the hospital. See, I got Frank the bellboy here to get it. That's right, Mr. Brown. No trouble at all. They look here. You didn't tell them anything. No, sir. Don't be silly, Kaz. I told them that absolute secrecy was vital. And they didn't ask you? Sure they asked me. The minute they heard me say Kazanova Brown, that's the first thing they wanted to know. Where was you? Well, they recognized the name. Recognize it? Both for me. What did you do to that hospital, Mr. Brown? You didn't tell them anything. Not even your phone number? Phone number? What would they want with that? I didn't tell a phone. I went right over to them like Mr. Ferris said. You went to the hospital? I was sure. In that uniform? Why not? The hotels don't care. Oh, uniform? Great scout. I never thought of that. Well, what's the matter with my uniform? Look at your cap. You're dummy in your pocket. What does it say? Hotel Windsor. Pride of the look. Gee, Mr. Brown, I... Please. I... Let me think. Do you think they'll come for her? You bet they'll come for her. And why don't you get out of here? Go somewhere else. Sure. And how easy is that going to be? They probably got the techies on our trail right now. They'd trace us easily. What'll they do with the baby? Do with her. We're going to give her away. People are going to drop around and look her over like picking out a second-hand car. If they like her, they take her. Oh, how can they if you're the father? Being a father is not enough. You've got to be a mother, too. Precisely. No man born a woman ever gets away from them. A man's not capable of taking care of a child, not according to the courts. He can build bridges. He can fly around the world. He can be president and run the whole United States. But taking care of a child is too much for him. You've got to be a woman for that, any woman. Don't you worry, honey. We're not licked yet. But if you're, if you're married again, you could keep her, couldn't you? Married? Yes, that's right. Uh, married. A wife. Uh, Monica. Yes, sir? Uh, I find myself in an extremely awkward position. Seems to me I've heard that statement before. The sizzle of the fuse before the bomb burst. Uh, Monica, are you married? Me? Are you engaged? Well, no, not definitely. Uh, what I'm going to say may come to you as somewhat of a surprise. How's that, Mr. Brown? Will you marry me? Do what? Are you out of your mind again? Well, how do you like that? Go on. Go on? Uh-huh. Go on. Oh, well, it must be obvious that I'd never make such a proposal involving my whole life in happiness and the whole life in happiness of my daughter if I hadn't fallen under the spell of your warmth and your attractiveness and beauty. Well, you're cute. I'll say that for you. Will you? What do you think, Mr. Ferris? Young woman, the idea of any cerebral effort being pregnant to this proposal is absurd. Uh-huh. All right, I accept. Okay, get out of that apron. We're off to the city hall. Hey, you're going to leave that female chair with me? No, take her with us. I'll take along a bottle for her feeding. You're going to take the baby with you to get married? Why not? Well, it makes as much sense to the rest of this. J.J. J.J., look, wait right here, will you? We'll be back in half an hour, or I'll call you. I'm sure they said this room. Hey, it's Isabelle, and there's somebody with her. Hey, how can we get out of here? I got a maid's key from the bathroom to the next suite. Come on, man. Quick. There he is. Or, no. Where is he? Sir? Where is Brown? And where's my baby? Baby? What baby? There's no baby here. And what are you doing with those bottles? Uh, just sampling them. With nipples at your age, you ought to be ashamed of yourself. I'll never mind about him, Dad. I want my baby. I don't know what you're talking about. If you mean the infinite belongs to all this apparatus, and it's farther than where they are, out walking in the park. Out walking in the park? Very well. We'll sit and wait. And, Mr. Ferris, when I find you, Mr. Casanova Brown, I intend to demand the fullest penalty that I'll allow. Ah, Tommy Brown. Stop it. Both of you, I just can't stand it. All is waiting. Well, you ought to be back in the city hall by now. City hall? I thought you said he was walking in the park. Well, you have to cross the park to get to the city hall. What on earth are you doing there? Getting married. Again? Yeah, he seems to be in the sort of an up to a rut. No. No, it can't be. He is, though. Who made bingo this time? Oh, by the name of Monarch, I think it was. It was something of a whirlwind courtship. Oh, Cas, no, no. What's the matter with her? Where is she going? Probably out for a little air, maybe something of a shock to her. He's getting married. Hello? Yes? Where are you? I'm in room 347 down the hall. We didn't think it was safe to come into my room. Ah, I'll perfectly right, my boy. I'll call you later. Who is that, Brown? Yes, yes, he's in St. Louis. He went to our business. In St. Louis? I thought you said he'd gone to City Hall. Oh, he's a very peculiar young man. Now while your daughter is wrestling with her emotions in the hallway, what do you say to a little game of gin rummy, huh? All right, all right, now. Daddy's doing the best he can. Now, here's the bottle. Nice and warm. There. See? Here's the belt. What? Is she all right? Of course she's all right. How did you get here? I heard her crying from the hall. I know her voice anywhere. Oh, Kaz. Kaz, how she's grown. I know. It's terrible. Oh, no, no, she's just perfect. Oh, you blessed, blessed little angel, isn't she? Don't touch her when she's feeding. It makes her nervous. Oh. She's very high strong. Not too high strong, is she? No, no, no, just sensitive. And she hasn't been sick at all? Well, of course not. She had the best of care. Quite concerned about her now, aren't you? All of a sudden? What do you mean? I hardly notice such solicitude the last time we discussed her. Oh, Kaz. How could I have been such a fool? Please, darling. I mean, here's the belt. Don't, honey. I never meant to give her away, darling. I might just as well give away my heart. I couldn't live without it. Well, why did you say you were going to? Because I wanted you to come running to stop it. I wanted you to see her and warn her and warn me again. That's why I came to Chicago. So it'd be easier for you to get here. Good heavens. That's the truth, Kaz. But one little word. Just one word. I know. I know now. Now that it's too late. Oh, excuse me. The bottle's empty. What do you do now? Well, after feeding your baby at this age, you hold her like this. Supporting the smaller back with a left hand. And then pat her gently. Let me, will you? OK, but hold her carefully. That's right. Your left hand here. Now, pat. But not too hard. Aw. Oh, mama, so sorry. Very gently. That's a ticket. Oh, Kaz. Isn't she just a little green? Well, uh, well, I've gotten quite used to her, of course. But say, look, what did you mean by now that it's too late? That man. Back in your room, he told us. Told you what? What you've done. And I do want you to know, Kaz, I do hope deeply and sincerely that you'll be very happy. Me? Oh, both of you, of course. Both of who? Didn't you, didn't you get married this afternoon? No. You're not married at all to anybody? No. You can't get married like that in Chicago. You have to wait three days. Really? No, I'm not married to anybody. Are you? No. Oh, Kaz, Kaz, come closer. I can't see you. Oh, I'm here all right. Oh, don't stop patting her. Oh, you sweet little thing. What am I patting her for? Don't you know? Well, after every feeding. What? Now, wait. Wait, I think she's about ready. Listen. Kaz, isn't that wonderful? Right after each feeding, just as regular clockwork. Oh, darling, I have so much to learn. But don't you worry. I'll teach you. Mama. Our stars will be back for their curtain calls in just a moment. Now, Sally has a word game that sounds like fun. You take a word like sweater, for example, and then you spell it out. S-W-E-A-T-E-R. Same for each one of the letters stands for C. I get it. You start. S is for sweaters, so fluffy and bright. W for wool. You should care for it right. E is the E's for which luxe says you're done. A is for always use lukewarm luxe ups. T is for roll and a towel to dry. E is for ease it to shape by and by. R is, um, oh, radiator. Don't drive them there. Sweaters stay lovely with gentle luxe care. That's fun, Sally, and instructive, too. It's an easy way to remember all the important rules for washing woolens. Lukewarm luxe sides, rolling in a towel to remove moisture, easing the shape, and drying away from heat. And that's how to have soft, fluffy sweaters. Luxe is so gentle it keeps precious woolens lovely longer. Here's the way that you had better wash that precious woolen sweater. Lukewarm luxe flakes, nothing stronger. Help keep woolens lovely longer. And now, back to Mr. DeMille and our stars. Our congratulations go to Gary Cooper, Thomas Mitchell, and Joan Bennett for three excellent performances. Very excellent. Gary, I'd say that being a producer hasn't hurt your acting any. How do you like being both a producer and a star, Gary? Well, it's kind of hard to make up your mind which one's a favorite. How do you mean, Gary? Well, when it comes to writing out the checks, do you give yourself a raise or take a loss on the picture or cut your salary and make a profit? Now, what finally decides you? Well, if I'm playing opposite a lovely girl like Joan and I have the chance to, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I can persuade myself to take a lower salary. Gary, somehow I can't imagine you as an executive behind the desk. You mean what does he do with his legs? Oh, you ought to see Gary's office, Joan. It's really quite a sight. Full of lariat shadows and pistols, I imagine. No, no, no. Quite the opposite. White and yellow curtains, bottle-green chairs, bright red sofas, and a desk of... What is a desk made of, Gary? Pickled pine. How's that? Pickled pine. Are the walls plastered too? I suppose the picture you're making is a hundred proofs. What is the picture that you're making, Gary? Well, I guess you'd call it a romantic western melodrama called the Long Cane Joan. Well, we'll hope to have that picture for this theater, Gary, when it's finished. What do you have on deck for next week, Mr. DeMille? For next week, we have a play that was as big a hit on the stage as on the screen. The 20th Century Fox beautiful drama, Barkley Square, and our stars are Ronald Coleman and Marina Sullivan. I think it's no exaggeration to say that this is one of the great plays of our generation. The story of Peter Standish, whose love for the past carries him back into the 18th century, where his love for a girl struggles to overcome the barrier of time that lies between them. You couldn't find a better part for Ronald Coleman, CB. I'll be listening. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. You personally did cast an over up down. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night. When the Lux Radio Theatre presents Ronald Coleman and Marina Sullivan in Barkley Square with the Cecil B. DeMille saying good night to you from Hollywood. This Christmas, while our men are fighting for freedom overseas, it helped join the fight against America's great enemy at home, Tuberculosis. Buy Christmas seals and buy them generously. Use them on every gift or card or letter. With the threat of wartime epidemics, your help is needed more than ever. Buy extra Christmas seals today. Gary Cooper will soon be seen in the international picture along came Jones. Thomas Mitchell, co-author of the book from which Casanova Brown was taken, appeared through the courtesy of 20th Century Fox. He can currently be seen in Dal-Axanic's Technicolor feature, Wilson. Joan Bennett is now appearing in the title role of the international picture, Woman in the Window. Heard in tonight's play were Verna Felton, Anne O'Neill, Leo Cleary, Norman Field, Dorothy Scott, Leon Ledoux, Sarah Selby, Charles Seal, Eddie Emerson, Jacqueline DeWitt, and Sharon Douglas. Our music was directed by Louis Silvers. This program is broadcast to our fighting forces overseas through cooperation with the Armed Forces Radio Service. Our Lux Radio Theatre production of Casanova Brown, starring Gary Cooper, Thomas Mitchell, and Joan Bennett, have come to you with the good wishes of the makers of Lux Flakes, the tissue-thin soap used by smart housewives everywhere. In the Lux Radio Theatre next week, we will have as usual our producer, Cecil B. DeMille. This is your announcer, John M. Kennedy, reminding you to tune in again next Monday night to hear Barkley Square with Ronald Coleman and Moreno Sullivan. The cooking's so delicious. Won't you kindly tell me why? All the secrets very simple. Now I'm cooking with fry. Takes, pies, fried foods. Everything tastes better made with used fry shortening. Yes, them to be a better cook. Yes, I'm cooking with fry. Be sure to listen in next Monday night to the Lux Radio Theatre presentation of Barkley Square with Ronald Coleman and Moreno Sullivan. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System. Copyright© OSHO International Foundation