 Leather face is back, baby. That's right. In 2022, we got a Netflix exclusive film sequel to Texas Chainsaw Massacre called Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I love when movie sequels have the same title as the original! And here we are again, forgetting all those terrible Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequels, but instead making another Texas Chainsaw Massacre sequel. People online are telling me this is a very polarizing film. There's a good swat of individuals who absolutely hate it, and then there are those that have bad taste in films. I'm like it. I'm being harsh. Everybody's got their own taste. It's subjective, after all. If you like this new film, you probably also like movies by Rob Zombie, which I hate a lot. And that's fine. If your type of taste is to watch the villain actually be the hero, and slaughter a whole bunch of people in gruesome manners, then this is the movie for you. If you like films, we're not only the lead character, but all the characters make the dumbest fucking decisions of all time. This is the movie for you. If you're a fan of movie properties that bring back classic characters, only to treat them like absolute dog shit, you're gonna love Texas Chainsaw Massacre. But let's set that stuff aside for a second. There are people that genuinely just want to see people get killed. In gruesome fashion, and they don't care about any of that other stuff. The writing doesn't matter. The pacing, the plot, it's all out the window. They just want to see a dude take a chainsaw to another person, and they're good. They call it a day. And if that's what you're looking for, this movie delivers. You will really enjoy Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2022. Not to be confused with the original from like the 70s. Let's go over the plot a little bit. Influencers are the worst, aren't they? Really, we should take the whole lot of them, send them to some backwoods town in Texas, and have them open up food trucks, or at least attempt to before they're all gloriously killed. That's the plot of this film. These influencers are not only the most out-of-touch people ever, but they're also kind of douchebags. One of the main characters, Melody, just straight up insults a guy for no reason. He's just minding his own business, pumping some gas, and she sees he's holding a gun that he uses to kill the coyotes and other wildlife animals, and potentially annoying obnoxious teenagers who think they can change the world. She mentions that he's packing a gun to compensate the small one he carries on his person, and, you know, he just kind of tells her how it is, doesn't really make a stink out of it, and they go along their way. So right out of the gates, the movie's kind of telling me not to like these people. The plan these college grads have on their road trip to Misadventure is to go to this small heartland town and rehabilitate it. It's a dying industry over there. There's like no people to be found, except for the ones that you evict from their house, and they think, you know what, we're gonna kind of gentrify this area, sodasopa it, make it something that people will want to go to, to flock to. And as a matter of fact, that's what they already have set up. A bunch of investors and interested buyers are on a bus making their way here. The only obstacle in the teen's path is to kick old lady out of her orphanage home and making sure that creepy ass dude that's living with her comes with. This is the second time the writer and director of the film let us know that, hey, these are garbage children. They kick an old lady out of her home for no reason. She actually still holds the deed to the place. It's hers. They boot her ass out. So this old lady is having a fit. She's in an oxygen tank, she's having a hard time breathing, borderline going into a stroke. They put her in an ambulance and Leatherface himself, who's like 70 and still hulking, comes down and goes with her in the back. And then for some reason, and this is where one of the multitude of decisions goes wrong that these kids make, knockoff teen Margot Robbie decides to go with them? I can't even fathom why. She's like, I'll drive with these strangers to the hospital because I have nothing else to do in the movie and I'm gonna be the first person to die, obviously. And that's exactly what goes down. Leatherface goes on his redneck rampage in the back of this ambulance, slaughters everyone. I'm yelling at the camera constantly for the dumb ass blonde to just unbelt and run. The guy is all this dirt and huge. How is he gonna run her down? Get out of the vehicle. When she finally tries, of course, nothing's working. She can't get the belt off, the door doesn't work, so she tries to go into the window. I mean, I just, I just can't. I can't. I'm so frustrated watching this. Now, even though the plot looks like it was written on a napkin and only had one pass before it was approved, visually, very well done. I mean, the gore, the action, the violence, it looks really nice. Well, it looks horrible, but in a good way, in a very believable, realistic way. Practical effects. There's no CG nonsense flying around. The only thing that's pretty silly is Leatherface doesn't look scary. He looks kind of comical. And his chainsaw's borderline Fisher price and size. The thing is too small for the guy holding it. He should be lugging around a big ass chainsaw. That's my chainsaw sound effect. It's not great. I think this is the point where I should probably take a beat and say I'm going to be going into spoilers. There's nothing really that's spoiler-worthy in this film, but if you want to go in fresh, it's on Netflix. It's like an hour and 25 minutes long. I don't even know if it's that long. So bon appetit. And then you can come back here and watch the rest of this or don't. And whatever, I'm already in. I'm all in. So anyway, he kills everybody in the ambulance and then he hoops it back to this little ghost town, which I guess is just a block or two down the road because he gets there fast. Oh, I'm sorry. First, he skins the face off of the orphanage lady and puts it on his because that's what he does. Yeah. So then he goes back into town and that's where things just, this is where the film is just a complete shit show. While he's making his way back to the orphanage, Melody and Dante are inside looking for that contract which they will eventually find and see that, yeah, they kicked the lady out straight up. Leatherface is the good guy in this film. And poor Dante, he dies hard. He gets a butcher's knife to the side of the face. It's just, it's just brutal. He's walking outside like, one of the girls sees him, goes back to the bus, tells no one, is very relaxed about the entire situation. Insanity. Absolute insanity. I believe Catherine is her name. She gets back on the bus with Leela who's the sister of Melody and she's also the survivor of a school shooting. She lets it known to literally everyone in the film. She goes up to him. She's like, hey, maybe, maybe just ask me about this so I can pour my heart out to you complete stranger. After the bare minimum amount of pushback, Leela gets off the bus while Catherine's like, wait, no, don't stop. Don't leave. Catherine sucks. Just an idiot. And man, how she tries to escape later is comically bad. So I guess, I guess it all catches up to her. Because her decisions are really poorly placed. Back at the Amityville horror show, Melody's under a bed because Leatherface is home. Daddy's back home and he's creeping around. She's, oh no, wait, she starts in a closet and then I believe she makes her way under the bed. Either way, Melody's not contributing anything and she's watching several people die in the process until she eventually does leave in which case the Leatherface comes out, takes a hammer, hits Melody's square in the boobs, she flies backwards down the stairs, blows through the floorboards where pieces and shrapnel are falling on her and she's like, gotta keep going. And she's fine. She's perfectly fine. He throws a fastball at 80 miles an hour, knocks this bitch on her ass and she just gets right back up like it's nothing. A minute later, shit's really gonna hit the fan for her. And by fan I mean the top of her head as the toilet water pours down on the top of her hair when a pipe bursts. It's absolutely disgusting and no one seems to notice that she's just covered in shit and has to wreak. Just has, I mean, imagine Leatherface using the toilet. What a, what a sight that would be. What an experience. This leads us to Magic Hour, definitely the part of the film that I think everybody that even hates it enjoyed and that's when the SJW Massacre kicks in. Leatherface hops on the bus there's like a dozen kids in this thing at least and he just revs up that chainsaw and starts going through bone. Actually the chainsaw's more like a lightsaber because it just it just cuts through it like butter most of the time. He's like a little off the top. A little off the old kneecap. We're ready to go. Nobody fights back. People are filming it. Someone yells out your canceled or it just cringy as shit. No one goes around. No one thinks to just go around him as he's cutting through bone. He's got his back to you. He's not fast. Run idiots. And here's where Catherine comes back into the mix. She finally has the wherewithal to go around him. But instead of be lining it for the door, which is just another eight or so steps, she stops, turns to the right, tries to get the big window open so she can crawl out. Why didn't you go out the door? He didn't block it. It's wide open. And so yeah, he cuts her in half and I was actually rooting for him. I'm like, good. She deserved that. That was just poor, poor decision making on her part. The whole time that leather faces John wicking it through this neon lit bus, we keep getting Sally from the original teases. They keep cutting back to her like she's John Rambo working in her barn on something. She's got her cowboy hat on or gun in her holster. She's ready to go. She's been waiting a million years to take down leather face and no time is better than now when they're both geriatric old people who can barely walk. Yet they're actually quite spry, both of them. It's amazing. Sally does some detective work, then shows up in the town where she gets him cornered into his room as he's crying over his mom whose makeup he was applying just a few minutes earlier. But instead of filling him up with buckshot point blank range, she stops, sets the gun down and is like, you don't remember me? You don't remember what you did to my friends and my psyche? You just don't even care? It's been a million years, Sally. You don't even look the same. Time hasn't been kind to you lady. He's like, okay, okay. Walks away, leaves her there to sulk. So she goes after him and this leads to one of the many dumbass moments in the film where he's blocking her shots with his chainsaw. King, king. And then sticks it into her like a Mortal Kombat fatality, lifts her up into the air. Blood's falling out. And then he takes the husk of this character from the original film and throws her right into a pile of trash. I don't think I could come up with a more metaphorical shot, visualizing what this movie means than that right there. I mean, what a perfect send-off to a character into a franchise. But Sally's not done yet. She's still alive. She still has enough left in those old bones to give some sage wisdom to Leela or Lila, or whatever the hell her name is. I don't care. Keep in mind, budget Margot Robbie earlier got sliced across the stomach. She was dead pretty much instantly. Old Sally's built stronger. She's got tougher bones. She continues to survive while blood and innards are out of her stomach. And so she's going to give some advice. She's going to say, hey, I know you were in school shooting. Deal with it. Go grab an AR-15 and become what you hate most. And she does. She fights back against Leatherface. Her and her sister team up for an epic conclusion. She follows LF based on the chainsaw noises she's hearing. She's going through corridors, but uh-oh, peek-a-boo. It's just the chainsaw set on the ground. She turns just in time to see him full-blown sprinting at her. Dive bomb. Football tackles her into the water. The impact from that son of a bitch alone should have killed her. Or at least knocked her out. She should have had a major concussion. But no, if they go into the water she gets up right away. And this leads to one of the most comical shots of the film where he does like an echo the dolphin flop out of the water. Leatherface is spry. He's limber. I did skip over the part where her sister Melody tried to run him down in their car but he threw a chainsaw at the car so she's like ehh! Waaaaaah! It crashes into a bunch of shit. Rebar goes down through the car and she's basically impaled by her own stupidity. Now they eventually do get the best of him. They shoot him a few times. He falls into the water his bloated corpse floating there lifelessly and they don't think to, you know, like cut off his head or shoot him in the face a few more times. They're just gonna leave him because they want the audience to know that that guy's absolutely coming back before this is done and come back. It does. It's a glorious finishing move as he decapitates Melody as her sister rides off into the sunset and then we of course end how all great horror films should all great slashers with our lead villain doing an interpretive dance at the camera. He performs a beautiful ballet with the chainsaw Honey like me now and then he slices up. Dumb doesn't begin to cover what I just witnessed but this film's clearly not aimed at me. This is for a very specific audience that's looking for some gore looking for some carnage and really nothing more. We do see bone snap backwards wrist break bones taken through the neck blood spraying everywhere that stuff's all good. I'm fine with that. I like the gratuitous violence. I just wish there was a little bit more meat on these bones before they were broken. I wish there was characters that I liked in the film and I think that's a problem. A lot of these modern takes on characters are having is they seem to think that the villain is actually the good guy. They want the pageantry. They want the over the top violence. They want us to look at Leatherface and Ghostface and Michael Myers and Jason and Freddy and all these characters be like yeah they're killing more stupid teenagers. No. You have to have compelling leads to really elevate the horror. That's why the Ripley's are so great. That's why Jamie Lee Curtis is still a legend because of her performance in the original. Now I want to hear from you though. Are you a big fan of this slasher flick for the reasons I listed? Or are you like me and you thought this was just a complete train wreck? Let me know in the comments below. Subscribe if you want. If you like the honesty. If you like some of the humor infused into it. And hopefully I'll see you next time. If you really like the show I'm producing and you get that it takes a good amount of work please think about joining me on Patreon Patreon.com slash Adam does movies or you can become a member right here on YouTube be that YouTube join button. I give out exclusive videos every month. There's also a Q&A session for specific tiered members. You get unique badges next to your name if you're a YouTube join member. So yeah there's there's different perks involved as well. Either way I would love if you shared the show around hit the notification bell so they showed up in your feed and hopefully I'll see you around.