 So it's good to have a spiritual book that tells you how to forgive, step by step, and it also says, okay, you're going to go through six stages of the development of trust, because you need trust to forgive. You need a lot of trust to let go of the hurt. So in the Teacher's Manual, he gives one, two, three, four, five, six stages that you're going to go through. And I looked at the six stages, and four out of the six are dark, challenging, difficult. That's two-thirds of the whole journey. Two-thirds, two-thirds, that means if the journey was 90 years long, if 60 years would be difficult. And I was like, looking at this going, oh, but again, I had said to Jesus, I said, give it to me straight. I wanted it straight, I don't want, don't give me the sugar coating, don't give it to me whatever it's going to take, give it to me straight, and he said, here, this is straight. So is it necessary, no. Is it usually experienced that way, yes. The reason is holding on, the ego is desperate to hold on to the past. But what to do? Well, what you do is, is if you have willingness, like I was just sharing, you start to get new experiences, that even when all the darkness was coming up for me and the tears were coming every day, like a fountain or like a waterfall, I thought, oh, this is great. I turned it on, now I will never be able to turn it off. It felt like that. It felt like where is the light at the end of the tunnel, you know, this is, I don't see a light. It's just very, very, very dark. But then I would say to myself, oh, I'm doing my work, I'm not hiding and protecting the emotions, I'm letting them all come, and that's the most I can do. I thought to myself, I'm doing the inner work. It's not easy, but this is what I'm doing, and what else would I rather do with my time? If I'm just going to have to keep replaying these same beliefs over and over and over until I bring an end to this cycle, then what else do I have to do with my time? It's like, let's get to it. I would even make prayers to the Holy Spirit and Jesus where I would say to them, bring it on. Some people always say, don't ever say that to the Holy Spirit, but I would do that. I would say, bring it on, bring it on, I'm not going to delay, I'm not going to wait. Give it to me. Pat Benatar did a song too, it was, hit me with your best shot. Bear away, you know, just try that with the Holy Spirit. But what happens is, sure, it seemed intense, but I wouldn't have changed it now in the sense that I realized that I had to learn how to trust. It's just like if you've been used to walking with a cane or crutches, you know, and finally one of the crutches gets kicked away, and then the other one gets kicked away, you're going to be able to walk faster when you don't have to rely so much on the crutches. And crutches, I would say to mean that this world is, the ego mind is full of defense mechanisms when the only way that we can start to let go of some of these defense mechanisms is to learn how to trust, to listen, and to follow intuitively the Spirit that's guiding us. So I've written lots of stuff on the internet and shared lots of gatherings about my parables of how I would just go out and travel and learn how to trust that I would be provided for, to learn how to trust, to listen, and follow, you know, to learn how to get David out of the way and get to the point where my mind was receiving guidance. And then the lessons came very quick after that. We were talking right before when we were having lunch today, and Anna was saying that she and a friend, Athena, are giving her partner a present. Her partner lives in the house with six children, and they're going to buy him a ticket to Göttenberg, a round trip ticket for a week, and just drop him off in Göttenberg with no cell phone, no money, nothing. Of course, he's freed up from the house with six kids, but they're just going to drop him as an experiment. This is the first experiment. They may buy a one-way ticket in the future, or they may send him to another country, drop him in Russia or something like this. And she said already, he said, what if I don't want to come back? They're starting off with a round-trip ticket, but he's already putting it forward, like what if I don't want to come back? But these kind of experiences build trust. He's worked with the Course in Miracles. It'll be an interesting experiment. You see somebody you go to Göttenberg, you see somebody wandering around. I mean, you can be part of the plan. Help him out, too. But that's the house. I have a question here. The rest of this, in all of this pain and difficult, difficult, full day, it's like I often feel completely heartless. It feels like I can't take it easy. Or I'm heartless. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything. I feel like I'm getting rid of everything and everything, completely alone in the whole universe. It's like a love-loss. That's the worst, you know. I'm tired of this pain. She says that the worst, the worst in this experience of the doubts and everything is the lack of love. The lack of giving love or being able to receive love or to fill love. Yeah, it's something more. Yeah, and there's an experience of isolation and loneliness. Being shut off from everything. Yeah, I think for me it was like I felt all those emotions as well. And I felt like I actually had to come to a point where I really had to admit I really was addicted to fear and guilt and sadness and isolation. I really had to first admit it, you know, like this is a major addiction. Just like if you were addicted to heroin or addicted to alcohol or something and you had to go through a detox. Let's say you've been addicted to heroin and finally they said, here, we're putting you off. You're going to go through a detox. You're going to go through all kinds of side effects and tremors and shakes and everything, but it's good. You will come out the other side. That admission is so important because it's like that's the first step in healing, you know, is to say I'm not feeling these emotions, the love, the support, the nurturing because of the addiction that I've got going on in my mind, this mental addiction that I've got. It's just ego. It's not anything more than that. It's judgment, an ego. But then, when you make the commitment, then things start to shift and change. You get little glimmers of hope that come through when you make that commitment. You know, the spirit immediately responds to that commitment. And so, it seemed for me it was slow going at the beginning. You know, it seemed very, very, very slow. But again, my willingness and my persistence was, okay, then so be it. If that's the way that it seems at the beginning, if I just have to put one foot in front of the other and that's all I can do, then that's all I can do, but I'm going to keep at it and keep working at it. And then, the Course says the Holy Spirit needs happy learners. When we're holding on to the past, we're clinging to these old thought patterns and beliefs, it goes very slow, but the more trust we develop, the more we loosen up, then everything gets much faster. I spent the first five years of traveling. I didn't have a house, a home. I didn't have any place to call home. I went out, I didn't know where I'd be sleeping at night. I didn't know oftentimes where my next meal would come from. I went, I really followed as Jesus had said in the Bible, you know, Seek ye first the kingdom of heaven and all else will be added unto you. I went out there and I would go to course groups, I would go to different places and would visit. I didn't know sometimes how I'd get gasoline in my car. I just really trusted a lot. But those first five years really showed me how the plan works, because I had so many angels, so many situations that showed up to help me out. And it was more of a feeling that I had to trust and watch the witnesses and let go of the past learning of how I would even be provided for. I had to just really let go a lot. And those five years of travel really helped so much, because I didn't really have a house to go to. I would watch the sun going down and I would say, where am I going to be sleeping tonight? I would get guided to a Course in Miracles group, I'd be sharing with the Course in Miracles group, still thinking how's this going to work out tonight. And sometimes I would get three different people that would come up and offer me a place to sleep. And I'd be like, now what? And the Holy Spirit said, now I will direct you which house to go to. It wasn't always such a scarce thing. It was more, you still have to follow where in the plan you can be most helpful. And that was very helpful. I never had to be concerned about if I'd have enough to eat, too. They'd have Course in Miracles podlocks. It was more refusing food, because so much stuff was coming. It was not the way I thought. At the beginning I was thinking, oh my gosh, I was thinking the worst case scenario, but it never worked out that way. So it's by listening and following and having experiences, those new experiences, that that washes away those old thoughts and those old plot patterns. And then we build confidence and trust. And the more that you build the trust, the faster the lessons come. And the more joyful the lessons come. So it's just at the beginning, you just have to really be patient and persevere with those things. Healing your mind is like cleaning a turkey pan. In other words, when you cook a turkey, you have to put the turkey, stuff the turkey, put it in this pan, and you have to bake it for many hours. And it really is a mess when you're done. It's got stuff stuck all to the sides and everything. So she said, cleaning your mind, well the first thing you do is like with a turkey pan, you have to fill the pan with water, and then you've got to put all the soap in, and you've got to let it soak for a while, because it's really baked all to the side. And then you've got to scrub and scrape quite a lot to really clear the pan of the things before you can actually dump out all... Then the water, she said, gets much dirtier before the pan is going to get clean, the water is going to get dirtier, because all the crud that's stuck on the sides has to kind of get taken in. And then you have to dump it out, and then you rinse, and then that's the process. So I thought that was a very interesting analogy for cleaning the mind, clearing the mind, because there seems to be a lot of work involved in it. And yet, you know, when you finally get to the point when it's clean, it seems most natural. It seems like it's the most natural ever when you're just in that flow, and you're free of the judgments, but while you're going through the process, it can be quite intense. And I wanted to share too, I wanted to share a little bit about her experience of coming over to our peace house. I met Jenny. I was with Anna and a group of friends at Rinkesta, where we had all of the Scandinavian countries who worked with The Corse of Miracles and all of the translators from all of the countries there. And there was about 40 of us, and I started off the week when Anna was there and Alex. And Jenny came later in the week and had a very powerful experience when she first heard me speak. And I invited a number of people to come to come over to the peace house. And Anna came and then Jenny came and Jenny just wanted to share a little bit about her experiences of all the love she felt and then all of the darkness that came up after that that probably relates to some of the questions we've been having today. Yeah, I just thought about it when you spoke because the darkness, I really felt it. And I remember I prayed to God when I was younger, okay, do this fast. I want to go the fast track. And I think that's why I met David. So I was just dropped in the peace house. And it felt like that. Okay, you're going to be with him. And when I met David, the first we had a very powerful experience of love. And then a fear came soon after that that, okay, can I trust him? Can I really, really trust him? Because I felt I really, really, really need to trust him because I felt like I'm putting my life in his hands almost. I'm going to go into a process here. So I had an experience that I really, really could trust him. It was very powerful. It was about fear that I couldn't trust. So I only had to change in my mind. So I had an experience that I really, really, really could trust David. And that was the beginning of a very powerful light experience. I felt like I was in light for weeks, maybe. I don't know because I lost the track of time. I didn't know about time anymore. I was just in this light and love. And the spirit spoke through me. I felt like I didn't speak. I didn't make any effort for anything. And that experience just went on. But then it was like a crash when the ego that I still had came up and protested. And I went into a guilt that was so deep and so difficult that I started to itch my whole body. So I was bleeding and I was sitting in fear in a room in the peace house and I couldn't move because the fear was so strong. And finally I had to just leave. I couldn't stay there. I had to go to Sweden. And then it was a long period of much darkness. So I think it is like if you ask for the fast track, you really have to meet the darkness. But I think it's the best way to go because it is fast. And then it started to work through lots of emotions. It still comes up. But I know that I have begun to change my thinking. And I actually had a strong experience of how I prayed for changing my whole thought system to turn it around. And that was the start a couple of years ago. But it's not really that you don't always know what you pray for. Can I ask something? With this timelessness, how does it work with coming to time for example meeting like this or being in time with lunch before that and planning things? How do you get that to go together? There is actually a Course in Miracles workbook lesson. Lesson 135. And I believe it's the longest lesson in the book where he actually gets into planning. He says that healed mind is relieved of the belief that it must plan. But it also talks in there about that if there are plans to be made, it comes from inner listening. So in terms of practicality as you are very intuitive, you still will go through plans but they will be given. It won't be something where you have to figure it out and change and change and change and change. It's more like a download. Here's what's to happen. That happened to me in last November. I was just getting ready to leave to go to South America. And I got an email right when I was going out the door to go to catch the plane to South America asking me if I would speak at the 2009 National Course in Miracles conference in San Francisco. And so I just asked and the Spirit said, say yes. And just by me type being, okay, I'll be there, then that's set in motion the planning that they have to do for these national conferences. They give themselves two years. And I think they're trying to target, they have space for 500 and they've got like 475 signed up. But that's an example of practicalities in how it works. And then when you're given a plan from the Spirit, it's your joy to follow through with it. You don't change your mind and go, well, the Spirit told me to commit to this but I got a better offer. Or something like that. And if you don't tell the Holy Spirit, I got a better offer. There's one thing to say, hit me with your best shot and bring it on. Well, actually, and you don't have to bargain and say, well, I'm getting this and this and this. But it works out in practical terms, just in terms of things. I know I was in Spain and I knew I had a little bit of time left and wanted to come up here to Stockholm and we had also a friend in Arhus, Denmark that was wanting to try to bring us up. But we just had to kind of wait and wait and see, wait for things to come through. And then when it did, the plan was made and then it kind of just clicked into the schedule. So it does, there's an interactive component. Experientially though, you start to get more like with a childlike sense of wonder and glee so that even when plans are made and even if you seem to be in the middle of an event or a task or a plan or something, it doesn't really feel like you're in it. It's more like you're just beholding it, like you're witnessing it and observing it. Just like with a movie. You can get all caught up in the movie or you can be kind of the witness self and observe it. The planning aspect still goes on but it's more like a friend of mine calls it JC Central for Jesus Christ Central. Like central casting, all the people that come, everything's orchestrated, lots of synchronicities, those are quite common. So your athletes, you still need to look at the watch. Also you did that when you were in, you call that timeless. I didn't look at the watch. I was, when I started to wake up because I felt like I was awake when I started to be more normal. I looked at the watch and I started to look at the calendar, what date it was and I saw it had gone so long time and I wasn't aware of that. But did you miss things then? No, I had nothing planned. I was in the peace house and I had no plans for anything. The peace house is kind of like a modern day cave. I can see why the districts would go to caves and live in the woods. But we often lose track of time. Sorry, what did you say? We often lose track of time but if there's something, like I know for me, I would have times of prayer and meditation where I would lose track of what year, everything like this. But in practical terms, they pick up the garbage, the garbage truck comes by on one day of the week. I think it was Thursday or Friday morning. So basically I had to make a sign for myself and put a sign out, garbage out like the night before in a practical way just to remind myself to get the garbage out so when the garbage truck came by. If it boils down to that, your biggest concern is making sure you get the garbage out of the garbage truck. Then you really are advancing pretty far. You don't have to be concerned. But the Holy Spirit will guide you step by step. So for example, if you're working at a job and you have a career and so on and so forth, time is still very important in careers and in jobs, being on time and so on and so forth. So you use it as part of your mind training for attentiveness and then the more you get into the flow of just listening and following, then you start to see that everything is perfectly synchronized. I had a job teaching psychology at an art institute, which was my last job in the world. I remember I would show full length movies during the four hour psychology class and I would actually be guided to pick up the movie in the morning. I would never know what the movie would be until I would get there and the Holy Spirit would say, this is the movie, I would show it, we'd have a wonderful discussion. And one day I dropped the movie off as I was leaving and I had to catch the bus. And I just kind of like watching, watching, watching my body go across, take the movie over to the library, you know, take it back, turn it in, walk around and I'm coming up like here in Stockholm I'm walking along a city block just so happy and joyful knowing that I was supposed to catch the bus, I came up to the crosswalk I could see the bus coming up the street just waited, waited until I got the green light walked across, took two steps pffft The door open I said oh this is cool it was almost like some of you might have seen the Volkswagen commercial They did a Volkswagen commercial where they got this great song on the radio and the beat score and the windshield wipers are perfectly in sync with the song, but then you look out and you can see the people moving and all the people on the street are all moving and it's all synchronized to this song that's playing and it was a Volkswagen ad. The windshield wipers and the people, your life starts to get more like that, where you start to feel like, wow, it's all perfectly orchestrated like a big dance when you're not judging it, when you don't have this ego chatter going on saying, I've got to do this, I can't forget this, I must be sure I do this and that. It's the ego's desire to control time that makes it so stressful. And yet, Jesus tells us that, he says, if you will be a miracle worker, he says, I will arrange time and space for you. Nobody ever taught us that when we were growing up, that there was a being that loved us so much that this being would arrange time and space for us as we're doing miracles. It seems to human beings like we're just stuck in time and space. That's part of the human condition, we're stuck. We're stuck in between these days and months and years and there's nothing we can do. We just have to live out our time and then die and see what comes. He's saying, no. So, as a miracle worker, I mean, that's just the term Jesus uses, miracle worker, teacher of God. I've had experiences where I was supposed to go down to South America to do a talk because these people down in Columbia invited me to go down and talk to them down there. My mother was a history teacher, but I'm not so much in geography. All I know is that there's an invitation and everything clicks. I'll just go and answer the call. But I didn't know if Colleen Columbia was a little tribe of 12 people or whether it was a city or a village or whatever. It turned out to be a city of like two, between two and three million people. And they said, oh, we've been translating your writings from the web into Spanish and we must bring you here. We don't have the money, but we're going to get the money and we're going to get you a plane ticket and then we want you to come. And I said, okay, so I waited. I was doing travels to the United States. It turns out these people, this is down in these poor countries, so to speak, they had to borrow the money to get my plane ticket. Now that's faith when 60% of your country lives on $2 a day. That's the average amount that 60% of the country lives on. And now they're getting money for a plane ticket. They're borrowing the money. I later heard the story that they had the money but they were too afraid of their postal system as people steal things in the mail down there. So they found a man who was going to the United States to Miami, Florida and they trusted him to take the money, get it to Miami and then mail it to me so I could buy the ticket. And he got it to Miami but then he kept it for himself for a while but then after a couple of weeks he decided to mail it. They're all waiting in Columbia. Did you get the money? So we finally got the money. They bought the plane ticket. No, we bought the plane ticket with the money. I still didn't know what Cali, Columbia was. I didn't know they had a 40-year civil war going on. Some of you have just seen on the news the past couple of days, the guerrillas. You know, they kidnap people, take them up to the mountains where. I knew nothing about any of this. All I know is the ticket got bought and then I had the call for a translator that I had met in the Canary Islands off the coast of Africa, south of Spain to come and translate for me and she said yes. So she was married and had children but she got the strong call to come and translate for me. She flew all the way to Madrid and then all the way across to Miami, Florida. I came down to Miami, Florida with this money that I had this ticket from the Colombians. This is the time when all the hurricanes were hitting the Florida coast, like four hurricanes. One was coming for the southern part of Florida. So it was like an evacuation clinic. It was like everybody, mothers with babies crying. People, all these people, Hispanic people in Florida are trying to get out of Florida because it's been hit with three hurricanes already. And I'm looking around trying to find my translator so we can hop on the plane and go down to Colombia and finally I find her. We get on the plane as soon as the plane takes off we just get up into the air and they said they shut down the entire Miami airport, international airport right after, coincidentally, after our plane took off. So I used the story with the Colombians. I said, Jesus was like holding off the hurricane. Not yet, not yet. Okay. And then shut the airport down. But actually, think about it. Jesus says I will arrange time and space for you. It's kind of nice to think you'll hold off a hurricane for me. Am I that important? Well, he's saying yes, if you give your mind to perform miracles or let him perform miracles through you all of time and space will be arranged. In fact, some of you remember from the Bibles there was the Lilies of the Field passages about, you know, look at the Lilies of the Field they neither spin or toil and they're cared for. They're a tired greater than Solomon. There's a paragraph in A Course in Miracles which has come to be known as the promise where Jesus says, once you have accepted his plan meaning the Holy Spirit's plan as the one function that you would fulfill there will be nothing else the Holy Spirit will not arrange for you without your effort. Without my effort. You will go before you making straight your path and leaving in your way no stones to trip on and no obstacles to bar your way. Nothing you need will be denied you. Not one seeming difficulty but will melt away before you reach it. Before I reach it. He says you need to take thought for nothing except the only purpose you would fulfill. Now that's quite a promise. Think of wherever you are in your life that the Holy Spirit and Jesus are saying if you will just let me shine the light through you if you will just let miracles come through your mind through your consciousness I'll take care of everything else and that includes a job if you need a job to pay off debts if you need a job to undo certain aspects of the ego that are important for forgiveness opportunities it will be given. He even says the Holy Spirit will take nothing from you as long as you have need of it and He will supply you with whatever you need as long as you have need of it. So that's an amazing promise. I think in my life I just finally said okay that sounds like a pretty good deal you know really give the devotion over and say you guide me I trust you and then it has felt more like a fairy tale than an actual lifetime because of all the synchronicities and the things that fall in. I mean I have not been guided to copyright anything so I've not been guided to sell anything it's all just done on a donation basis and even organizers that set up things you know I just accept the donations and use them to travel or to make supplies or whatever to help disseminate the supplies and then keep doing it and it's been going on like that for like 17 years now and so it's not been the standard route of like writing a book or trying to use the channels of the world to kind of get some fame or some recognition and then piggybacking on that recognition to travel. I've been going around the United States and Canada since 1991 and around the world since 2003 and if somebody had said to me you know what do you think about world travel I would have said I don't even know about it I don't have a passport and I would not understand how you could do world travels without some kind of major support it's for somebody who's got you know no church affiliation no affiliation with any kind of institution or whatever that would be kind of surprising to do it that way but it has just worked out in terms of serving the plan it just seems like whatever is needed is provided from frequent flyer miles to a place to stay here or there or whatever it just seems like it always just clicks into place over and over and over and it's been happening for 17 years so I've got no reason to question it you know it's like if it keeps working over and over day and day out for 17 years then but what I see is that it's like a whole new world opened up you know like I was raised with the Protestant work ethic I was raised how to earn money save money spend money you know all the typical things that we go through to be a mature functioning adult citizen in this world how to use a credit card and how to use a debit card transfer money and so forth and then what Jesus is saying is like yeah it's good you can do that that's all good he says you can learn all that without assistance to learn how to listen to the Holy Spirit and follow the Holy Spirit you need assistance you need a lot of assistance almost like all the learning that you've done to be a mature functioning adult citizen it still hasn't freed you now you're somewhat of a competent human adult citizen but still you've got guilt and fear far from free you're not home free at all you've just kind of taken a baby step and now you've got to learn how to let the Holy Spirit teach you how to listen and follow and at one point I don't know if you remember back in the Bible where Jesus said except you become as little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven he actually tells you exactly what he meant in the first statement he says infants, babies are completely dependent on their parents for their life, for their survival he meant by that statement except you become as little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven you have to become as completely dependent on the Holy Spirit for everything as a little infant is on their parents to make it so he says at one point your problem isn't that you ask for too much it's that you ask for far too little the Holy Spirit wants to give you everything and you've got such limiting beliefs beliefs of unworthiness that you think oh who is God to talk to me who is God to arrange time and space for me who is the Spirit to take care of me we're so used to thinking of ourselves as kind of small and little and insignificant when he's saying no you need to really learn how to be dependent and trust in God for everything and then he goes on to say your problem is you still believe you can run some aspects of your life all by yourself and leave some aspects to the Holy Spirit and it's like healing is not a partial you don't have a thing you don't give the Holy Spirit partial access to your beliefs and to your mind and expect to be healed healing is not partial just like nobody's ever been partially pregnant you're either pregnant or you're not pregnant nobody's been partially healed it's all you get brownie points or bonus points for being 95% healed well I'm close 99% healed no it doesn't work that way so you start to realize that in the end you realize that as you go through the day you let the Holy Spirit dress you and you let the Holy Spirit guide you in small details as well as bigger things we're accustomed to thinking of big decisions and small decisions a marriage partner that seems like a big decision you really don't want to mess up with that one you're in for a real tough ride but we think of whether do I wear socks or not with my sandals that's a relatively small decision compared to a marriage partner decision but Jesus is saying no there aren't really big decisions and small decisions you're making decisions continuously and there's some decisions that you're making that you're not even consciously aware that you're making them these decisions that are based on your beliefs and you need to raise those beliefs up into awareness otherwise you'll be like a robot and just be making decisions based on these past beliefs so it really opens things up where you start to see I need to learn about beliefs and decision making sometimes I draw at one point I was into graphics and maps and everything so the Holy Spirit to draw me a map of the mind and give me a map and I have it online I do have some markers over there I couldn't draw it out but basically he showed me rings it was almost like concentric circles and rings in which the very core is prayer or desire and then you have the realm of belief and then thoughts or cognition and then emotions and then way on the outside is perception so the world that we perceive is coming about because of all these inner rings all these inner processes that are going on in our mind and we just see the gross effect the world that we see through the five senses or on the news or whatever is a projection of what's going on in our consciousness and the deeper you go in every ring that's inside another ring is causative so your power of prayer your power of desire is like the core your altar and whatever you wish for from that altar you perceive in the world it just goes through a series of beliefs and thoughts and emotions and finally perceptions so to give you an example I I put everything I can my whole life is put as much stuff as I can on the internet for free so people can download it all over the world translate it into whatever language is helpful and then let's get this ego thing over with in a hurry the sooner the better let's not delay so I put it all on the web and we were just down in Australia and a man welcomed Jenny and I and said I want to fly you up to this kind of resort town tropical resort place tropical resort place up in northern Australia Palm Cove and so he said please come I'm a captain in the Qantas airlines and so it's no problem for me to get airline tickets and come for a day, a week stay as long as you want so we went up there I'll be there to pick you up at the airport where I'll have a limousine waiting for you I looked at Jenny and I said I've never been in a limo I didn't know what that would be like sounds like another fairy tale story going here you know Palm Cove and resort so we get there he's there, no limo, he's there big man with this big bear hug give us this big hug and he said David I just have one question he said if I want to take six weeks out of my life and come and be your shadow and fly to wherever you are on earth and I just want to shadow you around for six weeks could I do that? I said sure you're an airline captain arrange that pretty easily he said oh that's so fantastic so then he takes us out to dinner this is a beautiful place his wife is decorated for us to stay and he said David I've been listening to your mp3's on the internet and he said oh do you know how many hours you have on there I said no I don't, I just keep uploading I don't know he said you have 400 hours of teachings on the internet and you put up there I said oh, he said I know because I've listened to him twice he says he's originally from Hungary and he and his mother got out and he told me his whole life story but he listens to hours of the Course in Miracles on audio every day and then he listens to hours of my teachings trying to simplify the teachings of the Course every day now he's got his wife listening to him making CDs for her and he says some people say I'm obsessed with this it's important he said I want to wake up and so he said I'm coming to your retreat because we were doing a week long retreat I'm coming to your retreat and he had to try to find a way to get off of work for a week not for his daughter's wedding or something but to say he's going to listen to some spiritual teacher he couldn't even explain to Qantas what it was about so we get to the retreat which is the resort house and he tells me in one on one session he said I've been practicing with the power of my mind with these teachings I said well can you give me an example he said well for example he said I was 58 years old and I suddenly discovered I love to fly but the regulations is 60 all around the world and so he said oh my god I'm going to have to retire in two years and he said I really don't want to do this so what he did was he said he wrote a choose file and he wrote it very specifically I, Les Blim, his name want that I asked that by the time it's two months before my 60th birthday that the rules and regulations for pilots all over the world will change and they will raise the age limit from 60 to 65 that's an example of using the power of your mind he writes it out as a choose file and I said what did you do he said I took it in deep into my mind my consciousness to the dreamer of the dream to use the course of miracles and he said I said what happened before he said dreamer went yes he gave the nod so he said a couple of months after the choose file he noticed on television that all these international aviation boards that have to meet started to meet to consider raising the age limit now he's already written it out about two months before his 60th birthday he said I don't want to have to cut it close two months before my 60th birthday so he watches they meet, they meet, the year goes by and then it gets to his 59th birthday the year is going by his wife, he gave this choose file to his wife too and it showed her so she could see the whole thing she said very interesting and it got closer and closer during his 59th year all of the nations in the world agreed to raise the age limit to 65 except the United States that blocked the whole thing and said no, we will not give in so he watched and watched and watched and then two months before his 60th birthday he looked and his wife said unless you got to get in and see this news report there wasn't was announced on the news that two months before his 60th birthday they raised the age limit for all the pilots in the whole world and he said yeah, very good it's all your world so you did a fine job with that one so then he was having more issues though with he was to fly the big jumbo jets the big giant jets but you have to be at the top of the seniority list to do that and he had supported the strike of younger pilots that went on strike and because he came back late then they demoted him in terms of seniority from like three or four at the top of the system to 900 and something so he's like I want to fly the jumbo jets my seniority is way down so he wrote a choose file he took it to the dreamer of the dreamer the dreamer was like no so he's like that was his question he's like I want a one on one why can't I fly the jumbo jets and I said well you know there are more important things than these little specific pilot whips there's an iron plan here I said yeah, I know so he met with me during the week and then he actually did a one on one and then he had a meeting with a man who was a pilot and who was the top seniority who flew the jumbo jets like a tick and facial movements and he seemed very nervous and anxious and this man said oh my wife and I we can't even sleep in the same room anymore and all this and that and it was like the only spirit was saying okay you want to fly the jumbo jets this is what your life will look like you know is this what you really want he's like no so basically he ended up redoing his choose files he's got a holy relationship partner he wants to just be a demonstration of holy relationship in this world and he said he wanted to change his choose file he said I want to just be as happy and joyful as David is consistently before I die but that's an example about how powerful the mind is but then once you start to see that you're doing all of it the next point comes to peace of mind you know to forgiving or waking up from the dream so using the power of your mind for the grand prize so to speak you know going for eternity instead of being caught in the things of time but those are great experiences that you have along the way because you start those it's kind of like the movie The Secret it just shows you the power of the mind and it's just a step along the way you don't want to get caught into manifesting you know as a way of life you want to start to see that that's just showing you how powerful your mind is and then you want to use it for forgiveness and for waking up so does that mean that you are you ever praying for a specific thing or are you always leaving it to the Holy Spirit to decide for you what's best for you I don't pray for specifics anymore in fact I was reading the psalm of prayer which is another little pamphlet that Jesus dictated to Helen Scheckman and in the psalm of prayer Jesus talked about praying for specifics and he said whenever you pray for specifics you're asking for the past to be repeated in some specific way that you believe is best but you don't know your own best interest and so it's actually he describes prayer as like a ladder where at the beginning you can't help but pray for specifics because that's all you can relate to but the higher you go up you might pray for certain states of mind and as you go higher and higher he describes the top of the ladder is basically father what is your will for me which is perfect happiness it's not a prayer for specifics in any way so it's step by step how to see the difference between the egos and the holy spirit it definitely takes a lot of practice but what I've done is through a lot of the gatherings and the teachings I talk about cause and effect because the more you get into understanding cause and effect in a metaphysical way it gets clearer the holy spirit is always teaching that the mind is causative and the egos always trying to trick the mind into believing that the world is causative so you can tell the difference between they're teaching very different things in simple terms whenever you feel a command or a demand whenever you feel forced or coerced or pushed or pressured that's the ego as the holy spirit is very very gentle you may get some instructions but basically the holy spirit is like offering you up some advice as an advisor respecting your mind respecting your power of choice and just saying here this would be very helpful and you can totally reject it or you can open up to it I mean I really want to I really try to give my life to the holy spirit but God I mean a comment from me you may ask for something for yourself no I mean it's not separate from me I it's a bit of a problem that it sounds like it's just black and white she's saying that she's praying so much to the holy spirit and praying and praying and anyway the pain is still there it doesn't change yeah well the prayer you might say God always knows the prayer of the heart before a word is spoken so prayer is a synonym for desire so since your mind is the mind of the whole cosmos not a private little mind but the whole mind whatever you desire in your mind you desire for the whole cosmos so if you want if you desire a piece of a piece of cherry pie for dessert the whole cosmos desires a piece of cherry pie because your mind is the mind of the whole cosmos so you can see the desire when when you say and pray and pray to God but I still feel hurt or I still feel pain or isolation or depression it seems like I'm praying and God doesn't hear doesn't hear or doesn't answer my prayer I have a I have a when you said you put David away and tried to be like that I have an experience with my wife she says I don't want you to put Hans away she wants to keep Hans there so my experience is when you try to when you do like you do you really make a big difference big change then it's rather easy to understand the difference but if you try to do it step by step together with a lot of people together with people who want to keep you there to me it's been like not every day voice some I can hear once and once and once and it's away from first it was 10% away 90% now it's more like 40% is there 60% is away and I try to go step by step I feel that I get more confident day by day it shows me for the three last days it shows me everything but I don't trust it I trust it but I can't I can't change it that rapidly then I will lose contact with a lot of people I don't want to lose that contact I want to keep that contact and the result is that my wife she comes along she has another pace than I have she comes along we can walk together it's very nice I think that's important when you listen like this you can go with the quick way you can take the step by step by step way I want the quick way I think that also is a very important decision if you want to go the quick way I want to go the step by step way the curriculum is set but it's like you have a hand on a dial you can go fast or slow but the curriculum is set for everyone, everyone is going to wake up it's just that only the time you take it is voluntary and it is voluntary you can't mess with that Jesus, God, Spirit don't try to intercede with your decision it's just offering lots of support and encouragement but you have to make that decision I think you can ask the Holy Spirit which way you shall take leave over I have been trying to do it I left over left over left over take all that pain he brought up a good point too in terms of compromise compromise is the problem the first substitution ever which is just a seeming substitution was of illusions for truth putting illusions in place of truth and then a whole cosmos of compromise is set up so there's millions and millions of compromises that you can take or that you can reject and go back towards the straight narrow way that Jesus talked about but that's something that that it comes down to willingness if you really are willing then things start to happen you meet people tools come your way