 This shit is righteous! Look everyone, it's Matt. Don't! We didn't really plan much, did we? There's nothing planned. It's the Christmas hymas. We've had some edibles and we'll see what happens as the day progresses. But yeah, this is completely unplanned, completely fucking crazy. It's like we've gone into a jungle right now. I have not taken anything. Would you? How much to take weed right now? You said you were going to. Come on. I think you finished your work. And it started a holiday as it were. When do you go back to work? For 22nd I finished, but I didn't go back to like the 8th. It's the 23rd. No, it's not. Yeah, it is. By the time it comes back. By the time it comes back. How much would it cost for you to do weed right now? I don't know. I'll probably get fired if I do. Is work winding down now or is it still full days? It goes full right to the end. People try and booking. People try and book to do concrete unlike on what's the boxing. Wow. I'm boxing that. It never ends with concrete. It's always got to be done. Everyone needs it. It's drinkable. Would you be open for this video idea? I fucking think it'd be funny as fuck. We'll call it high hiking or cat. Cat hiking that Brown leads the way. It's not even a play on words. We're on cat hiking, but you lead the way. But you don't have to do cat. You guys will fall behind. Yeah, I know. But would you do that video with us? I think it would do. I just think it's funny in thought, but it just won't work. Because you guys will just fall apart. We just sit in the same spot. Just completely paralyzed. And I'll just walk off. Man, I reckon there's something there. We've got to give it a go. We do small doses so we still can walk. What about mushroom marching? Oh, mushroom marching. And you'll take mushrooms. And then you take mushrooms so you don't tell the audience. Or acid swimming at night. Yeah. We do acid and go to the beach and we swim out as far as we can. One by one. We could swim in the pool. Or molesting people. We'll do it sober. We'll do it sober. We'll do it sober. Molesting monsters because then it's right. Yeah, because they're bad people. Go to like a church or something. Now I've come up with a joke recently and I think it's fucking gold. I'm going to get it out on you boys. OK, ready? Matt Brown, I swear to God. What do you call a fish out of water? A person? A crab. A crab? How the fuck did you know that? Because you called me like three days ago and said the joke. Shit! I thought I was so excited about it that I called you there. You were excited about that. You think about it. It's a fucking joke. It's a crab. It's a different animal. It's a different animal. I think that's why it's funny. It's like you think it's a fish. They're kind of like land fish. Yeah. You want to be a fish still? Yeah, I guess. But the joke is that it's a crab. But that's no joke! You just say crab! Dude, I honestly, I didn't come up with it. Amber did and I couldn't believe it. So I called Matt and I told you. Dude, you called me like 11 o'clock at night. I thought something was wrong. You called him at 11. I was pretty excited about it. And that's what I was saving. I forgot. I was meant to save it for the podcast. And then I heard Amber in the background like a... She didn't realise how good it was. And I was like, you don't realise that you've just told probably the best joke I've ever heard in my life. She said that to Amber did. Yeah, she wasn't impressed by it. She just thought whatever. It's not funny. I was like, that is fucking unbelievable. She still doesn't find it funny. She doesn't find many of those sort of jokes funny. But I showed her the way how funny it was. And then she started to laugh about it. Jokes are really good when you explain them. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, because it's exactly, it's not a fish. Yeah. And it can walk. It's like a land fish. Yeah, land fish. A crab is a land fish. Did you guys have fun at the Christmas party? Oh man, it was fun. But man, it was hot. Yeah. It was just a hot day. We went to... Yeah, so we had our mighty Michael Christmas party. Connor and the Krakenburg boys were there. And we went golf in the morning. Hot as fuck. And then we came back here, which was good. And then we went to the MMA event, the XFC. And man, it was a hot. The aircon was broken. Was it once? Was it really? I reckon it was just like malfunctioning a bit. Because if it was completely broken, it would have been... People on the other side looked comfortable. It took us two hours to get water, by the way. Yeah, oh really? It was fucking furious. I love it. And they're like, you've got to ride it down on the thing. I'm like, okay, five waters. None came. And then I rode it again, five waters, none came. And then you were like, hey man, could we get some booze? And he goes, sure, how many do you want? And you go, oh 10. And he literally shook his fucking head. He just walked away and shook his head. And then an hour later, he comes out with 10 waters. I'm like, Jesus fucking Christ. I think I'm gonna follow up a couple of times. So this is the best. I can't believe you came out with this. So when you guys were marking down waters, me and James Lee kept saying, just cancel that and bring us serious alcohol. You fucking asshole. So you pranked them. Are you fucking serious? I didn't even realize how good that was until you brought it up right now. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. I left because it was so fucking hot. I literally left the fucking thing because it was so hot. We were canceling the waters. I ordered one of three times. Dude, James Lee was like, I can't believe they just keep bringing out alcohol and we just keep cancelling the water. And the guy cracked the shits because we kept asking for water. And then it'd get round to us and we'd cancel the water. You would have confused the poor guy. He would have been so confused. And then he turned around and he goes, there's going to be a 10 drink minimum each time. He came out with that and I was like, oh yeah, it's because we keep cancelling the water. Guess how much money Marty won that night? How much? $900. $900? Dude, first I just kept going to roulette, put my money on red or black and I'd wait for three reds in a row or four blacks in a row and then I got 18 out of 20 right. That's never ever happened to me before. And we'll never again. Anytime I play roulette. Are you fucking right? Matthew Brown, you fucking bald idiot. Sorry, sorry about that. I didn't mean to come out with a physical attack. I think you're a beautiful boy, but you keep grabbing me. He's having sex now, man. Keep grabbing me. Would you like some water? Yeah. Is it real water? Cancel that. No. I'll get my own later. I don't want that. What are you just talking about? The dehydrating me intentionally. You didn't even sound real. Jesus. You didn't even sound real. Have you had pink eye or is that just... I've tried. Look at the difference in my legs now. In the sweat. One leg sweating. What's that mean? Is there any doctors in the precline? Oh, shit. You've got a blockage on one side. Me ducks are blocked. You know what they need? Cordless headphones. Yeah, they've got them. So with... We can talk about it later. It's not important for the fans. No, go on. They want to hear it. The brand. The first Rode soundboard doesn't allow... Wireless. Wireless. The Rode soundboard too. Allows wireless. You guys, it's just a feclanet. So they're allowed. Next season. It's the holidays now. You can't grab me so hard. I really think I get so many haves. Guess what me and Martin... The next season. Are doing tomorrow on our holiday day. What's that? We're going to play pickleball. I want to play pickleball. It's the first day of holidays. You're welcome to come. I'm not playing pickleball with you. You'll kick me out after one round. You're not good enough. Yeah, it does that. Comes from the club. He's playing fucking tennis. He's all like, sorry, not good enough. We don't want to do that. It's only do that for... You'd be allowed on this because it's an exhibition. So you'd be allowed to come and we'd all play. Be a lot of watching. You've tempered your emotion before. I've gone there so you're prepared. But with fucking sports like, I guess, Tocca, people have come in the past. You've never come. But if they do come, they have to be at a certain level. Because don't ruin it for everyone else if you're shit. Yeah, I did that to you guys with Grubble Ball and I've never let it down. I can't remember that. I blocked that out of my mind. You have, man. And you have brought up multiple times like, yeah, you can't fucking throw Connor your issue. But I saw your throw the other day and you can... They improved. Have you been practicing? No, it's just... He doesn't like that. I'm like probably a little bit more athletic than you guys realised, but when I'm around you two fucking two meter tall men who have been athletes their whole life, you just fail. Okay, yeah. He's kind of got a fuck knee. That's a lie. He's only doing that because he's embarrassed. Look at his knee. It hurt because he went gym. Man, well, we've got to start pickleball back up. We've got to start toca back up. Are you going to start not pickleball? Sorry, toca. Will you be able to toca with the Foclines? Oh, you won't. Because I kick with my right. So I can sit at the front. You won't be able to change direction quickly though. You'll like a semi-trail. You'll have to do wide berths like that and rather than changing directions quickly. I'll be your left leg. I'm my range of motions back, but it's still sore, so I need to do a lot of physio, but I'll be back. All right. You are right. You are right. If someone's shit comes to toca or new, you've got to... You put them on a team with like two really good people so they can build them up. I want to play pickleball, genuinely. Stop putting your switch. Sorry. Yeah. We're going to play pickleball tomorrow. You're welcome to come. You'll be on for like in 10 minutes and you can watch for the rest. Okay. Thank you. You did this to me. I'm going to do it. I'm going to take that invitation. I'm going to roll it back up and shove it up your ass. Could we smoke it? Yeah, we smoke it. Yeah, baby. Smoke that invitation. Yeah, baby. Oh, man. Oh, man. I just realized this is going to be the most stone out-of-sequence podcast. What do you mean? We're having fun. We're having a chat. Shut up. We're talking about pickleball which is important. And I'm excited. It's going to be fine. Let's look. We have mess been... Matt is a little more irritable than usual. We've been fucking with him a lot. It's been coming close to holidays. Matt went out one day and James ordered 15 litres of brown food dye. And while Matt was out, we just grabbed the food dye and poured it all into the pool. Oh, that morning, yeah. He just walked out. What happened to the pool? You notice straight away, it's like that's where you go to, your eyes go from like, you walk in and then you look out to the right and you see your pool. And then it's like, pfft. You just saw brown. You knew straight away, you didn't think it might be a reflection issue if it was no like... You saw the brownery. Yeah. Brown water. No, I just... You saw the brown water straight away. Do you feel like you have more tense at the moment? We're tired on the pool and we spent money on them to fix it. Dad came around and helped. And then just destroyed it. But it's okay. It'll come back. We're filling it up now. You're going to pay for it. And you're all going to fix it for me. Tax. And I'm going to show you how to do it. Look, we'll get that pool guy in. If you can't sort it out, we'll get the pool guy in. I can sort it out. There's a tax write-off dude. Like it's fine. Yeah, true. Are you irritated more at the moment? Like are you getting tense leading up to holidays? No, I just... Now everything is just like a... I mean... Everything's just... You know, we don't know when the next prank is coming. No, there's no... Let's tell them about... Let's do this then. No, no, no. The cop one, we just did one of my... One of my favourite videos we've done for a while. We... Michael and I have been planning seeds in Matt's head for like months now. Well, you didn't plan one. No, and the stun gun. And then the day before as well, we said something about... Michael said something about ordering something. I didn't really think about it. No, Matt. We've been talking about it a lot more than you realised. It enters your subconscious. You don't even realise. But anyway, we saw... Michael was like talking to me about ordering some edibles to this address. And I was like, oh, I've got a call from Customs. They've seized a package. Let's not order here anymore. Blah, blah, blah, long story short. We fucking hire two actors and get them to dress as cops and we plant drugs all over the brownery. Michael and I aren't here. They come in and then they find all these drugs and it's very good. It's very good, isn't it, Matt? You were very scared. You were very worried and we fucking got you good. He threw the editors under the bus straight away and blamed them for all of it. He did all right. He did all right. Imagine if you'd just like... Yeah, it was Cooper. It was Cooper. Imagine if this he lives at this address. I am not responsible in any way. Oh, man. Oh, Cooper. They were intimidating though. They were good actors. Yeah. I would have been like, holy shit, this is legit. Like, one of the dudes was like seven foot. He was huge and so muscly and he just was... He was like right in your face, sort of when he came in and just... Yeah, your brain starts... Because I started looking at their clothes and will it be out by the time it's done? I don't know. Yeah, it might be out. Well, yeah. Because I started looking at their clothes and I was going through everything in my house like this seems a bit off. But they were so good with that because they knew the script that they were going to say. They were very good with that and what they said to us. It was impressive. Yeah, we got him good. It's coming out soon. It should be out on social media. And your brains... Because you're panicking a bit and then your brain starts thinking, oh, fuck, are we actually going to get robbed rather than actually getting done by coppers? And then I was... And that's what was going through my head too. I couldn't... Yeah, before you... You can't ask questions. You're panicking. Yeah, I can see that. And your adrenaline goes through. Because you could be like, all right, they're just going to take us and then they're just going to come rob the place. Well, I was going to panic going to get to the car because I was like, we're going to take you. And I was like... And I was like... Because I remember I asked specifically for IDs and I was like, I'm not going to the car until I see something. And they were like, and he grabbed my arm towards the end and started pulling me out of the car and that's when I was going to have a go. Because I was... If it was real and you were getting arrested and you only... You had to just tongue them both for 30 seconds to get out of it. Would you do it? No. Yeah, what the fuck do you mean no? If you were going to get fucking sent... Even to just save a few hours out of going to jail, I'd tongue them both. If they were like, look, we know you're not doing anything wrong, but we'll put you in there at the lock house all night and let you pass me. I'll be like, fucking all right. Even if they said, oh, just ask politely. Just ask for a pass. Can we have a 30-second tongue in it? They're an officer of the law. Like, you're going to tongue them. It's like, just say, look. Yeah. I would have asked. No. Can I tongue you? Would that soften things? For 30 seconds. Holy shit. Dude, you don't even drink water. You fucking eat it. Why don't you drink like that? Oh, man. I've got my teeth. He lives in a pond. He lives in a pond and he just breathes it in. He uses this old bottom drawer to smoke. Are you taking photos of my... Don't. So, yeah, that's what's been going on. We filmed a shitload of videos. So we still got heaps of videos coming out while we're on break, but we're officially on break and we fucked with Matt Hard. And man, oh man, oh man, what else has been happening? I'm getting a stress test on Friday where I run on a treadmill with all these cords attached to me to see how my heart goes under stress because me and Michael have to start training our asses off for the fucking boxing fight against these two fucking massive men. Yeah, holy shit. I forgot about that for a bit. We're going to get knocked down by thousands of people if we don't train properly. Wait, we're playing pickleball though. Yeah, yeah, first. I'm paranoid that the cameras aren't on. Okay, you guys are staying at your parents' place. You're visiting them for Christmas. You go downstairs and... Is Santa a girl or a boy? A boy. A non-binary. Santa's non-binary. They're a they. Yeah. With his big white beard and hard cock. Okay, so you go downstairs and you see Santa and he's actually not inside. He's outside and he is fucking the shit out of one of his reindeer. One of the ones that no one cares about, Dasha, and you see him and he turns and looks at you and rather than get mad, he... Okay. That's it. Do you want a bash? If he said to you, I'll give you anything you want. Just don't tell anyone that I fuck my reindeer. What would you want? What would you ask for? A $1 cash on one elf. Okay. You can have the elf, but you can't have the cash. But the elf will... Well, then I don't want the elf. The elf will work from home. A new chimney. The elf would be good to have. They work all through the year. I want a country. Give me a country Santa. And he goes, done. I want two World Trade Centers back. I want two Cuban cigars. It turns out a Santa drove into them. You want two Cuban cigars. And a new chimney. He's getting a fucking country. I'm getting two World Trade Centers. Yeah. I'm going to cut this. No, I like it. I was getting into it. Sorry. Santa, yeah. How big are elves? Are they little or are they like... Oh, Matt, stop being fucking gross. Well, like some elves, Lord of the Rings elves, are like fucking massive. But like... Oh, you know what's crazy, right? I figured this out with elves that you could do. So elves are like perfect cockeyed, right? So if you look from their perspective, it's probably frustrating giving head to a normal size person because you just never, you just stand there, open your mouth. But there's a creative way to do it. Grab them by the ankles, flip them upside down, hold them right above your head. Wouldn't they be heavy? I don't care. Put the legs around your neck maybe. Oh, yeah. They could lock around. Maybe they have extra... Like a necklace. But then you can just fuck their face from... I'm going to cut this as well. No, no, you could have an elf fuck necklace thing. I reckon I could pick you up and do that. I don't want to. I reckon you could. That's a good idea. Do you want to pick me up and hang me upside down? Yeah. With your knee? Could you actually... Could we see you... Yeah. I'm fine with that. You're not allowed to do it. You're not allowed to do it. You're not allowed to do it. My man's going to try to put and pick Connor up and hold him upside down. How heavy are you? I'm like... Wait. Oh, yes. So, this is that. This is that in physical. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Where's Connor piled up? Where did he drill. What did he do? What did you come off? It's just like real life to Elle. This was real life. Dad actually spiked is now. ladderer. You got to pull him up. Lift him up off the ground. Make it so I want his head to be at your crotch higher. Christian Breaks85 He's uncomfortable and... That was so close. I was gonna go like that all right try it on the couch. Maybe he What about this seriously Brown can sit down and you put your legs over him on the couch So it's like a supported necklace elf thing He's not like he's a big boy. He's a big elf So Brown is currently lifting Conor up Wrap your legs around his neck do it so the camera can see Yeah, that does work up higher though That was not bad at least we know that that's actually possible And remember if Conor was a normal sized elf it would work better big boy. Yeah, I wasn't a fat elf Work way better Putting his pants back on No, there you go. We saw that we've seen that that's that Should we call someone yeah, it's called Greg. I've got some words to have with that man I don't know. I'm just gonna see what I would see what I think of you're a bit turned on by my strength I'm I'm threatened Because I torment you a bit and I realize you could crush me with your thighs I know I just picked you up and flipped you When my head was between your legs, I realized that you could tense and my let's call Greg and Tell him that we've got a brand deal with his camera Cameron Diaz Cameron Smith the golfer is it Cameron Smith? Oh, yes brains or broken Cameron Smith We've got a brand deal with Cameron Smith the Australian golfer. Yeah, you have to lead for it. Well, but what's the brand? What are you doing just for Cameron Smith? Hello dude What guess what we've got a brand deal with guess who a Brand deal. Yes, guess who we're collaborating with you're collaborating with Some of that I'm gonna be happy with. Yeah. Yeah, dude. It's pretty cool Is it I'm gonna do a sport or sport related our favorite sport golf. Yep Taylor made no, but even better Cameron Smith No way 100% dude, it's gonna be fucking heat. They've contacted us. We get to play nine holes with him Well, yeah, we don't act we only get to do probably like 20 minutes with him No, we get chick said she said like like that that it'll take 20 minutes to film But we get to do a whole night. So fuck it dude It's for like, I don't know that like he's to promote him to promote Cameron Smith And yeah for no, it's gonna be like this is Cameron Smith everyone This is Cameron Smith by Cameron Smiths. Do you want to come? It's too damn it we need to actually say shit that's happening and then I know I need to start telling Greg's truths And then he just doesn't believe Up and telling you about his day your fucking day just so he believes You just Yeah, you just started getting through over the top with it. Okay, well every time I've got another one for you We've got to keep pushing it otherwise Yeah, see well there you fucking go so we were sort of there, but this is a truth So get ready. All right. I might be opening a wolf mother Show on stage with wolf mother as a guitarist playing Joker and the thief and I'm gonna be playing the tambourine in the background actually Yeah, I Think Marty might have said it's already damn it. Oh, yeah, I did too Yeah, I can read you guys like a book now. Yeah Oh Man, we got him to begin with but oh bro. Yeah, it's hot as Doesn't do shit, what's your religion? I reckon Christmas. I reckon it's probably Karma based Don't you don't know what it is. I think in my head. No, it's more just like do good and then good will come I think only Nepal. I think that's Muslim. I'm pretty sure I'm pretty sure they all Just like if you're bad, it doesn't matter. You still go to the good place. I'm a flamingo tarion. Oh, what a flamingo tarion He has sex with flamingos. What are you Matt? No, you watch them You play in a pond, what are you are you a did you say? Oh man That's religion is playing in a little pond splashing around with these tips of his fingers I'd say I am gay That's fucking sexual assault Just assault Let's ask him. Let's say that we've got a video to film So he's got say say but then we don't turns out we don't Tomorrow because he knows he's not allowed to film with you guys he films and they say you've got it tomorrow and say we really need you to film His financial situation He would panic in the new house and studio is gonna be on his island. What's water house on his own? I'll believe that no, no, we tell him that we're doing the boys trip on his island Can he recommend any places? He wouldn't believe that either dude? Yeah, no one fucking goes to his island What are you rustle on the clay? I'm a clay. I've never even heard of my clay It's bad is that Irish man founder mclay mclay Fuck it's hot in here man Aircon on full blast. Yeah, I can't feel shit. I'm losing my it's mclay Anyway, well, yeah, what can we fucking do with we got to do something to him There's definitely you could definitely prank all them like it's I feel I just sometimes there's just people that are just too nice We call him and we say that you've been in like He won't believe that he won't believe that you've got to get him like it's got to be subtle No, so it's got to be something that entices him Like if you can like if you can sort of encourage him to believe in it He was gone maybe we should say that we're starting and only fans and what do you mind filming? That's my starting Fucking and it wouldn't believe it This is what you need to say you're gonna get really hard So so you're gonna get really hard and you're gonna hang like for Christmas you're gonna hang shit off your cock It's just okay. Just cuz you guys will have to be in the room You'll have to take Viagra and shit. Yeah, you're gonna be down with filming you guys have erections I think that is a very interesting and then say it's gonna get to a point where Michael's gonna try and hang from his body Way Just ribs in half it's just skin hanging on over the top half and We should definitely oh man, we should ask him that I give him a ring. Don't be scared. We're thinking about hanging from Continue having conversations and something will come to us. I'm okay. Yeah, how's um work going man. Could we call your dad? Why would you call my dad? Why would you go to work where you work? Do you like it? Could we call someone I used to know it starts was it start is lost his passion. Oh concrete. Yeah, no That's fascinating. So like what so oh, you mean? Water to it That's fucking Oh, is that how you were with crack em up when you first on what's that like that? Well, I don't know. I'm following my dreams and you're filling I'm saying is that how you acted when you were doing when I know I was an adult man Why would I act like that about I wouldn't get into concrete you've been working there since you're quite young I get like that about worms sometimes Shut the fuck up. I love the concrete worst. Sorry. Great. Oh, it's like such a like a life sucking color Worms is great. It's got two forms of We should probably mention that Yeah, well, it's not a big deal. But yeah, I've been versing brown Four worms to eight worms and destroying him. He's never beat me when I've had half the amount of worms But then you discovered eight verse eight. Oh, yeah, very good in total. Anyway, I'll stop Yeah, so that's pretty much all I play Well, like I'm for life man for night now and then for night split screen. That's unbeatable. We're doing that after this It's gonna be so good. Um, we um sold out our merch So thank you to everyone who bought some that was very nice to see that it was a successful first job We were worried. We're like, oh You know, we didn't know if our audience is the type to um be supportive with with merchandise We just and like you don't want to give like a way a shit shirt So it has to be good. So it's stuff that we'd actually wear. I think it was awesome. I reckon all the stuff is great What was what's sold out the first um the sorry stuff, right? That's the shit. I like the most for sure And the and the the ringworm the m&m in the middle of it. Yeah Well for sure. The haves were the slowest believe it or not. Yeah, I thought the haves were I think it's unique and I think it's a season four thing. It's like old news. Well, everything else is like a Marnie Michael reference whereas have is like directly a podcast. Well fully actual did all right too, didn't I? I think it went sorry The best fully actual have Fuck man. It's so like how the fuck do you guys operate in here every day? It is warm. I'm gonna tell you guys I never come in here. I come in. I visit the boys like maybe once every couple weeks It always smells like a dead fucking body every time you walk in the house. It always smells like shit Really and there's always And if you're not wearing shoes, you literally will have like a film on your floor like it is What's a film like there's so much gunk and scum on the floor that when you look at your foot like this It's like a fucking sock. It's a whole movie. It's fucked every time I walk and I and you get so offended every time I walk in James is here. It might say smells like shit. Oh does it? It's like you should know I guess we're so used to it. Yeah, you are Yeah, yeah, but like I never wear shoes In here it's fine. It's safe. Look how good his feet look They're the most fun-fucking feet I've ever seen. Your nails like you look like you have cancer when you look at your feet Dude, I could rip it off. Seriously, I reckon I could rip that one off. Oh, the big toner. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Don't do that. Can't. Don't do that I could I'm honestly I'm gonna get a big child. I'll chew on it. I'll chew on it. Oh my god Oh, dude, we set that camera up and now you've just totally ruined that I don't think it'll be allowed. Yeah. Yeah, we can't put that on. It's tempting It's ready to come off you could cut someone's I know it's like a claw. It's got a fucking Stanley knife on your foot Oh, I can't I don't know. I'm not good at launching it out So that could do some damage. I want to do a thing with you guys That we do like a swap over where me and alliance will dress up as you to But we get to do you guys well, it's sort of like you guys are still there and I don't want to have a It'll be like who's the better Marty and Michael and so we'll just have like a set of competitions some Look, I'm gonna be honest with you if it's up to me and I will probably talk to Marty I will be avoiding ultimate pain as much as I can and I'll be lending it to a line Just shit on each other, but I reckon I handle pain better than him So would you play Marty or would you play my I probably have to play Marty because it makes more sense in the dynamic anyway Yeah, yeah, I can see that I tall man the shit out of him But I just can't I the visual of you and no ice next to each other getting shit thrown at you makes me giggle I'd be hard-seeing allies in extreme pain. I would hurt seeing I want to hug him. I mean, I'm sorry Well, I tell you what I'll be I'll do it and you about it Michael. I'll hurt allies with no issue Stand that Dutch can't Yeah, and he fucking when he doesn't fucking born here never fucking left Australia No, he's on a little island only speaks fucking English lives on a fucking island. I'm dodge. I'm dodge Oh, this is like my Dutch culture. Yeah, no shit Sorry guys. No, I feel bad for you. He's in pain because I saw him break his toe or whatever you did on the Yeah, I did that. I was so bad you did it and he would looked it's hard to watch him in pain You know, you see some people he fully broke his toe. Yeah, I don't it'd be some set when we're filming He kicked a girl because she wouldn't have sex with him. Yeah, he kicked a jaw. Yeah, because she wouldn't have sex with him Yeah, because because she rejected his advances It was on the set actually really annoyed it I thought it was it yeah I've never seen that side to like an ankle fully just fucking Toe pundit are in the in the head and of course, you know, he's the star so we keep working with him He told that he said fuck that slot off in your kid. Yeah And he kicked her be like that. Yeah, should we do acid? How much do I have some tabs here? I think Luke he has some We have Right now I haven't got much money It's fully gone. It's Christmas. Okay, I want how much you would you make Matt? How much would you do it for acid? No matter be some huge number I do it for I I do it for you give me you give me a hundred dollars. I'll do the acid just you a Full tab of acid for a hundred dollars and just me with you three here You give me a thousand dollars if we're all doing it Holy shit, so it's still costs if we all commit. Oh, man. Well, I mean like imagine Matt Imagine Matt on acid I would do it for free if you did it and that can't be traced. They can't Play you see an acid man imagine if we just found out that we'd just been slipped acid and that we were gay We start doing Imagine being someone's trips it up and convincing them Hard right now and then because of the placebo. I am And you just like like dude look at your phone. It's full of gay porn Dude your gay is far Why are you passing me as you hold them down dude, you know what that fucking reminded me of oh my god We were doing bloody md with oh We'll cut the name Hey, no, no that went When you when you just really would fucking grab him and kiss him and he I could see he was really into it Grossed out cuz like Michael's doing it as a joke, but I kind of And I was like, dude, I don't think he doesn't like that and then you stopped He's just fully get into He's just so fucked. Oh, man Fuck that he woke up the next day and thought it was still the same day He thought he had gone fellow fall asleep on the couch for like an hour and woken up And it was just like an outlet and he's cheek was like swollen out here because he's showing he's come Literally like it like he had a tennis ball in his mouth out here And he thought he'd just fallen asleep on the couch for an hour that yeah, that was a month So his mind was just blank at night. He's just I remember you telling me well actually maybe you shown me his dick On a human being ever seen and I love that all it took was like Not even five minutes of peer pressure and he would show it to anyone that I asked Come on and then you got to a stage boat. No, no, come on. Don't let me do this every time. Come on. Just do it now We've come so far I knew you when you were in ruin Do call some of the videos you filmed I didn't film any for you guys then I only edited when I was doing that stuff. Oh Really? Yeah, I I felt I filmed for you guys, but that was only for Marty Michael I didn't film before then for you guys you guys just fucking when I when you say yeah, I'm already Michael But do you remember some of the videos that we filmed? Yeah, but yeah I remember that my I still think the best one is when you guys wrote each other stand up You guys ready to try to stand up routines and Michael wrote for Marty that Marty had to get up and announce he had HIV and not say it's a joke and then at the end of it He gets raped by Casper because on stage getting it's a pretend to get right And there's no laughing the whole way through it No one is laughing because no one's aware or not if he actually has HIV Yeah, it literally I noticed immediately since I said that people kind of felt bad for me and it immediately stopped the laughter Michael's was Just a bit stranger like on Michael's at one point Marty wrote in Michael's that for Michael to say You know, it's actually really hard to write jokes just to reinforce that it was Michael being terrible It was really anyway very funny. I could have loved it when he said that I cry so hard What did the announcers say when you got off the stage? He was like oh just when you thought I couldn't get any fucking weird That guy's like a pretty big comedian now. Really? Oh fucking hell that man Joe Rogan That was Joe Rogan Yeah, fuck I remember twisted twister. What about that? Oh, yeah, that was the last that was the last I remember you like I'm so I'm honestly at least I'm actually glad that I'm leaving. Yeah, I was like fuck this This is like because I was just getting worse like we were not getting better like I will fucking I swear to God it's the Christmas special that golly bottle go all over one of you That's right. There's a golly bottle 2.0. Oh Man, I would be fucking be a replay the live show Sorry, no no you go Twisted swiss. Yeah, it was just getting worse like you guys would just The hole was yeah, and we were in that like the gross room of that house like it was just I think there was shit in Pearson Like yeah, and just it was just fucked and I just remember like I was like I'm not cleaning this up Like it was the last one because the worst part of that job was you guys going okay? Well Now we're done It got clean sort of yeah, well, they have James who like like James no we all chip in when it's really You didn't shit use push it all to the corner With a hose yeah, these two don't have to do shit if they're doing the gross shit But I'm the only one not so they would be like alright. We're done, and I'd be there scooping up I remember when you were like yeah, I'm gonna go stand on a green ants nest and I'm like a green ants nest and you're like yeah, and I'm like That's like a hundred bites from a green ants at once will kill you And I went are you sure that he went yeah, and I was like don't kill you went nah We get there they're not thank fuck, but dude that was traumatizing the amount of chicken a hundred by Dude, I put my belly in a nest once my belly, and I got like ten bites And I was I almost vomited like for like four hours. I was just going like this a bullet I can fall through quicker to you because bull ants have the nastiest bite, and they fucking mass I don't know if you guys see bullets. They're the ones with the mandibles that are like And they call scissors and they look at you the only answer look at you So any other ant uses their antenna, but a bull ant will fucking see you and be like, let's go I've heard that apart That's where that comes from Yeah, I've seen that you know how methods like our favorite thing at Kraken milk is like imitating methods So like Elias does the when they have a drink they really like and they walk like this like this is all stable You ever notice that when I have a drink they're rocking But they move like they're fucking gonna fall over the drink is completely stable The other one is when they have a Woolies bag and they walk with it And I'll check it every five seconds and they put their head all the way in the bags And they check it out. No, wow That's good seeing the the bottle for sure I was driving home the other day yesterday, and I saw one Leaves like halfway houses around there So these two like meth heads that were coming off obviously drugs went past these teenagers And I'm just as soon as you pass him he turns around and goes Like this literally just does the like crutch sort of motion so he's a mad come And these kids were like 13 years old as weird I was like wow. Why are you so mad at them remember the live show? Yeah, that was I was fucked so Fucking kidding me. I couldn't see anyone that night. I left the stench Wow I've done this for a living. I'm not I'm not doing this. Yeah, fuck it was like twisted twister all over again Fucking worst thing I've ever experienced in my life and it's dank. Yeah, man. Yeah, just this juice So strumming but anyway the live shows out now. We had to post the uncensored version on the website by the way, so Yeah, the YouTube version has a lot cut out of it And you'll see where people get annoyed. Yeah, man. Let me tell you something about being in the crowd of that live show One your fucking audience Do not understand that I am a human I'm really they're all fucking animals They all think that I'm like a cartoon What's one that stood out what was an altercation that stood out actually walking into this? I'm walking out of the venue I just get randomly people drive past me and they're just flipping The most aggressive All-time fuck you Matt Brown So when I was there in front of me They were like four people actually a Couple of them from school like from it like they were in different years. Yeah. Oh, it's good to see you And there was four of them. They're all mates and they were getting so fucking rowdy like they wouldn't sit down Like they like people are screaming from them to sit the fuck down because they're all up like one chick belts one of them across Yeah, I saw that too at the corner in front of me and like he just stood there and everyone's like bro And you guys are talking and so all everyone around me is going Like ready to slaughter this fucking guy. It's a dude who kept walking up to the stage show this guy He's got you so hammered and he walked in front of the stage is like I'll scarlet Just sit down and he just wouldn't sit down He's the guy that's stuck his finger down his throat. I'm pretty sure I caught I caught at the corner of my this chick like full. Yeah harm slap him in the face And then fucking I'm next to KK and these guys one of the dudes drinks his drink and just hurls at full blast This is a guy like two seats next to him. So it goes And you know And this guy like he's sitting right and he goes he turns right around and he goes who the fuck through that a Who actually fucking through that you know I was And he looks at me and goes So we could have you pointed and known the guy that did it and going yeah, I didn't say shit But KK's like it wasn't a KK's like it was your fucking mate It was your mate so he goes to just throw that and his mate goes like just Shit-faced and goes what do you fuck have Worry get another can So now he's like oh you know and like it went from like aggression to oh you know, that's not on a In front of everyone I like having a full-on fucking out like nah, man You just don't fucking through cans like that bro And in the middle of your show to forget up go thought we were friends. Guess we're not No If you come to our show you lose a friend KK was in the thick of it KK's they're like Enough relax your friends and then lies because they're so upset. She's like no it was someone in the crowd Don't even worry about her. She's like trying to it was so funny There's like shows within shows. Yeah, it's a security guy left halfway through the show He's like some old man, and he's like I'm not I'm not I'm not putting up with this He didn't he found a show so offensive that he left. No, I just couldn't deal with dealing We shouldn't have been a security guy. The crowd was like a concert Wild so if you want to come we'll do on the same thing next year and the funnest part I think next time we'll make them a bit shorter so that we don't get the super drunk people It's like and then they're way and then we go to the pub after You just do it at a venue like a smaller bar. We'll have to change our podcast to make them a little less Disgusting next year. This is a segment. I had an idea for by the way Yeah, by the way guys comment your segment ideas if you've got any suggestions for segment ideas Please comment them in the comments and let us know and we'll have read cuz where it's getting at that stage Where we need to start talking about new segments and there's always some that do well But there's just some that fucking don't land. Well, remember who's the better brown? I don't know being like just shit. I gave up on that quick. I can't even remember that first couple were fine And then it's just I think it's yeah, it's too repetitive. It's not What about Michael's adventure Michael's magic adventures No, Michael's magician time I'm just gonna say this now and you were meant to do the science time and it's gonna be the same as that You don't do your homework commit to it for flight for episodes and you'll get lazy with it I will become a magician for this You had to watch movies and you were furious that was your another one They were bad movies. You don't commit to anything You do like four episodes of commitment and then you just give up And then you're doing it in the 45 minutes before we start just so you know, I told Michael at one point I was like stop watching all the movies and see how many you can do before He realizes you've not watched it. I already knew he wasn't watching. I picked up on a far No, no there. Well, I literally watched every single one. I think except one Yeah, you didn't kill bill. I never watched kill bill. You've never seen you'd love kill bill. No, see why? It's just not for me too much action and fighting and look at me. I'm like one person versus 100 Fuck off. You don't like that. You like it when it's more realistic. Yeah, I hated reservoir dogs Oh, you might not like reservoir dog Anyway, no movie rent Magic moments with Michael and I will do a magic trick and I will trick you guys with my magic each week I'm calling it now You're going to do at the maximum 10 episodes of quality and then the rest are going to be It's also an audio podcast. So you're going to do magic tricks People to come to youtube and watch it so you can listen to it right now if you're driving I reckon at the lights and just bring it up on youtube quickly search like Find the timestamp that's connected with Spotify to now on youtube at the lights when you're driving And then watch this part when I've got my magic moments They're not matched up this spot because the Spotify versions are longer because we leave all the stuff We have to cut out maybe try and search while you're driving So if you want to see uncensored podcasts, they're on a Spotify Why don't you do a roulette every time where what you do for like a segment is You someone has eaten something you all have drink or eat something. That's the same looks the same I Dislike it already a bit thanks I'm so like And but one of it spikes So you each have a bite of like a wrap but one of it has like a ghost pepper in it And so the goal is that the one person has to hide What that they have it and and basically are trying to figure out who's been fucked by the That's not bad. It doesn't have to be bad at all. It's like something roulette Who's been fucked That is a great idea Okay, imagine like a box like three shots of water but one of them vodka But but you got to do like you got to make it so it's got a little bit of longevity So you guys do it and then you kind of have to try and figure out in 10 minutes or so We're all bad at chili. So that'll last like 10 seconds. Chili's a great one But so is like shit because imagine some viagra viagra is so good So then you would take it before the episode and then during the episode Yeah, some of them you'd have to take before but viagra is like From what I've heard like about From what I've heard about 20 minutes. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty quick like half an hour Yeah, you could even do like some sort of pain one like imagine like a rat trap red face You can't see if you put your hand in this little box. It's a rat trap. That would be fucking hilarious You get you get three in a row and two are like defunct So like you put your hands in it has the same sound but one of you's been here You got to figure out who's been here But it's got to be like painful enough that there is some sort of indication Otherwise, it might not yeah, I like it. Yeah, that's a good idea. That's good brainstorming. Thank you. That's okay No, no stay stay Should we have a fucking big fat bong break cunt? Yeah, big fat bong break be right back with bitch Hey everyone and we're back after doing nothing Nothing at all Michael saw a little boy outside said that's mine. That's an elf ran outside Said that's mine again Grabbed him put him in a sack and ran off your fans are fucking animals. I love them There's a lot. There's a dude that ran on the guy that ran on stage. I totally forgot his name I did it last year too when he's dropped. Oh, yeah, yeah, lovely bloke. Yeah, actually, he is He's actually a really really nice guy. I love hanging out with the fans after their fucking that was the funnest part Yeah, just literally we party till like 4 a.m. With some of them. Yeah Yeah, they're just like they're like unique just fucking They're good people. Yeah, but you just got that sense of humor in common So it's just it's easier to bond people from all walks of life. The problem is they all look at me like i'm prey So it's hard to like you are a bit of prey shut up brown Um, yeah, there's some of the people who traveled some so far. I remember meeting this couple from perf Lovely couple and yeah, they traveled so far to come and watch from karina. Someone came from karina I heard what's that mean when you say that how far that's where I can't say that I won't say the name I just said because okay, so yeah, that's not that far I think pradhi came from melbourne. Yeah, yeah a few people come someone came from jakarta in indonesia That's where that bomb went off. Hey, isn't that where that bomb went off? That's bali. That's bali jakara jakara is the capital Bali bomb that's yeah, no, that's a different country my son bali bomb city Place wasn't it in jacara? No, it wasn't jacara. Mali's not jacara. Do you reckon chappell corby fucking did it? Yes 100% she did You know from the corb the corbies were like you know drug dealing family. I'll tell you why who takes a boogie board Unless you're a professional bodyboarder who takes a boogie board overseas. Oh, yeah, who takes a boogie board overseas That's the dumbest sense of the biggest thing actually a really good dude point There was a in see it maybe two seasons ago. I was trying to get Michael a date with Did she fully reply? She's fully talking to me for a while. She's like, oh like weighing it up Yeah, well for the sake of that She never did do it So she was lovely. Well. I anyway, she's done her time Yeah, she's done her time, you know, you know rough conditions too. So you gotta give her that It was like what 30 years. She was there 17 years, man. Okay. We went past the jail in bali. Do you remember? No, and now it's all legal there. Is it in bali? Isn't it like highly illegal? I'm pretty sure in thailand it's like in thailand you can smoke pot on the street now But it was pretty common. You could still find spots that had it, but it was like it would be You had to smoke in the bar imagine doing imagine doing 20 years hard time in jail And then like when you get out two years later, it's legal in the country Or imagine you had to be like so infuriating Imagine being death sentenced to it and then it just becomes legal As they're shooting you someone says, it's legal It was just a plan Oh, shit. Yeah, the guards are smoking Yeah, as you're bleeding to death you're watching the guards all go and pulling out joints and smoking Smoking boldly Man 17 years though. Yeah, she did it though. She did do that for sure Look, but yeah, fuck like oh, I guess in bali if you still get found with weed you can fuck. It's big big That's your daughter. They're dead. Not your daughter. But you give me your daughter It's the first thing they say when they find drugs. We did weed in bali like that's so dumb And we we did we hunted for cocaine and got some random bag And they're what it wasn't cocaine and they're amazed a bit woozy man If we had if that was anything we were just snorting a random powder If that was fentanyl dead, yeah, that was heroin dead. Yeah heroin. It's not a good way to be but we're dead Not only that we followed some random dude down some alleyway and like that's exactly what that tell you not to do Because that's how they rob you. What did he do? We followed him down some alleyway and then he waited there and then the dealer came from across the road Holy shit. Yeah, I would never ever be buying drugs in any country like that, man That's like god. Well, that was a dumb thing to do. Oh my god And we bought magic mushrooms and they were just normal fucking like shiitake mushrooms That's good. We took all those oyster mushrooms. You know, it's not like they're gonna give you poison They don't want to kill you. No, they don't give a fuck dude They don't give a fuck if they poison you that could have given us. I remember one time in belgium We bought two grams of coke and we were so excited to go back home This is like 4 a.m. We get back home and it was just toilet paper inside a little bag Yeah toilet no powder. We were so sad I remember you didn't really do that when you're buying in the streets. I had a mate who I can't name but I had someone I know who was in Like Peru wherever it was and they were just getting like excessive amounts of coke Like that coke is so cheap obviously and there's so much of it and they were just like so confident They could send it back to Oz So they literally go and get an envelope and put it in And so in the and so they just hand it and because you just you can't couldn't put it in a mailbox You just go hey here you go to australia and they took it and literally They take it and this lady looks at it and just goes like this and very immediately notices that there's something in this card He goes, what is this and like start squeezing it and like within a second my mate just goes Okay, thanks and takes it and walks out like just snatches it back and walks out dumbest fucking thing I've ever heard in my life He's trying to send it Home address in australia That's so dumb so insane like I just in a different package might have been Smarter package or a different address like even a different address like fucking send it to a mate a mate's place and don't say anything And like If they sees it, they won't know who I am or where I live. It's written on the box, man We should create our own pillow The marty and michael pillow is full of bricks and shit and fart Yeah, we fart on every pillow that we sell. Oh god. You want the brick pillow or the shit pillow? Hard or soft with the shitty bricks pillow. Imagine actually It's soft and hard Matt, what's up with you, man? You're not saying anything. Where's the christmas spirit? He's got a girlfriend now. He's been having lots of sex. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Are you like fucking a lot? Yeah, of course Like what do you mean? What's a lot for you at 38 or nine? However old you are 36 still 45 So you're how much sex are you having in a week? Is this inappropriate? Is this something you don't like talking about with on like with people? Well, we don't need to talk about it. Yeah, but Peanut butter or cream Answer that immediately cream Are you upset I'm here No, well then can you fucking act like it? What do you mean? I'm trying to have a fun time You guys should hold hands. Look at how far away you're going. Are you not having a fun time? I just feel like you're a little grumpy. Yeah, and I'm always a little bit grumpy. You should hold hands Why because I just you know, I gotta be I've got to watch like the window to make sure no one's surprising me Because I'm gonna get pranked. I've got to watch every door that I walk through because I'm gonna get pranked It's like I told you you're on edge You're on edge I want to hold Oh my god, dude, you cut you that's sexual. He's grabbed my cock everyone He could he could call the cops right now. I could call the cops on you and charge you sexual assault I'm talking to the camera too. Do you want to know something guys? Dude, that would be would that work if you legit call the cops right now and we're like I just are these guys just tried to grab my dick. I'd get a I'd get a warning and I'd you'd have to take it. You'd have to take it. You'd have to take it for real You'd have to take it. Well, how do you know that so well? Because I know sorry about that I went to an MBA exhibition last night. Did you like that? Yeah, it was fun They had all signed jerseys of some of the best players ever. Do you know all the teams players because of the cards? Some of them. Shaquille Anil's shoe was there. Yeah, I must say if I could not the one shoe he wore Okay, say if I was it like I'm trying to think of an interest for me Um, like golf golf if they if I had to if I had the right to go look at some of what the players wore I would rather not do that That is like No, even if you go like I get you like basketball, but I thought it was something like there was like you said there was games there, right? Yeah, there was interactive things you can put your hand in LeBron James's hand. Yeah, I could do that I could wear like, you know, fucking What's his name Tiger Woods's Tiger Woods's glove? This is LeBron James's shit and clad rap Actually, no, uh somebody messaged me on instagram And said hand on it Someone else on instagram said how good would it be if you could flip your dick out and see if it's as big as he like If his dick was there I still couldn't do that. I'd rather just enjoy. I'd do nothing over that. You'd rather do play Probably play the sport. I play warms. But yeah, that too. Do you care for the history of golf though? No, I just see that's yeah, you just like playing it See like some people like the history and how it all happened. I'm trying to think of shit I do okay rock and roll if I went to a thing where you could go Sort of wear Michael Jackson's glove. Okay. It's about no Gallagher I know Gallagher, New Zealand where you can see the shitty war. I need more than no No, I wouldn't want to just go see no Gallagher's jacket. That's shit first guitar You don't care about that wouldn't even come out first anything any item. No, see you don't care about the culture of it You just enjoy it I think that'd be kind of cool to pick up his guitar and he's lying. I would hate that. No, you wouldn't it's just a Fucking thing. What's Ozzy Osbourne's better? He's older That means you're the same. Yeah, you've got Black Sabbath's poster in there. Yeah, that's just because it's like a rad thing I don't go to an exhibition and waste my fucking Friday night But would you actually go to an exhibition of Black Sabbath if all their memorabilia is no Ozzy Osbourne's abortion. I'd rather go. I'd rather watch them on youtube or something over that or do nothing It's because you've got no culture. I've said this before that he's bitten was there It's just it's just a thing. You're going to touch something of someone else It's like what other people enjoy Ancient Egyptian if there was maybe some like was there some games or or some dancing women Michael loves dancing if it was a time zone perhaps with some golf memorabilia in it that would be nice No, I seriously would not go to it a time zone. I'd need I'd go to a theme park I guess I'd go to dream world a golf theme park You go to dream world. I should play pop part. They wish you make I'd go to pop part But that's not an option. No, that's what I do over that you would hit a ball into a screen So what about like a museum? Do you like an ancient museum real life? Not digital? Yeah, what about a museum like an Egyptian museum? I'd have to be high if you went to Egypt and you saw the pyramids. Would you want to touch them? Yes, yeah, well they fucking those are just it's a thing. Those are just things aren't they but okay You can't fucking compare the Egyptian pyramids to some bullshit basketball I'm Put it in the comments. Would you rather pyramids or a basketball expedition? Oh, hang on even I'd go pyramids over basketball Okay, well then pyramids is if I would should have gone Of course if someone gave me that I'd be like you can touch the pyramids tonight. I'd be like, yeah, I'll do that Okay, I imagine this they go you can find out the truth of the pyramids And then they say to you but you'll be disappointed and they go. Oh, it was just a bunch of fucking people It was semi trailers. It's all natural. It's just they were there. It's just a coincidence. It's natural It's not even man made It's a tree Yeah, it was a really weird storm one day and it eroded it like that Oh Yeah, no, I probably I don't know Genuinely, would you go to North Korea to like actually to travel too dangerous? I mean, I'd never go if you're fucking interesting Yeah, I would have gone like it's bit somewhere laugh or They killed that fucking 18-year-old guy who was walking down He was on an American on a tour and he just took one of the propaganda posters off the wall And then tortured him and killed him It's terrible seeing if we can take their torturing Or we could just let's do a vlog in North Korea Testing Oh, fuck. Yeah, we we yeah, we definitely wouldn't do it It'd be too scared to go there man. It'd be it's like it's too risky Would be fun though Imagine going to Yeah, imagine singing on the Amazon. That'd be wild. I'd go to the Amazon like that. All right done Dude, imagine if this just cut to a podcast in the Amazon. We're madically screaming. We have no reason to have it For the last 10 minutes and then it just I'd be pretty scared if we had no water Sorry, that's my contribution You know that there's a guy the guy who was on rogan He made a tree house that sits above the canopy And it's got like you can hire it out. It's like an airbnb and you can go there and stay the night And it's got Wi-Fi. So we go just live from there and it's just unbelievable What about the bot flies though the bot flies lay their eggs under your fucking skin And then you feel them fucking eating your fleshy fucking or the the fucking if you piss in the amazon river Fish with the blades go and they lodge themselves And then you can't pull them out. It's like you have to go to the hospital or parasite I don't mind that You have to just shake from side to side real quick to break your piss stream Have I told way I've told this story before but I'll tell it again One of the greatest men I've ever met in my life. I met in mexico. I was with henry They can shoot piss dude. It was unbelievable just picture like a 45 year old drunk that stays at the hostel that doesn't speak english and it's just this like chubby mexican man that just drinks all day and like To me and henry loving him we befriended him because you see yourself in him And he's just drinking by our side the more he drinks he starts doing weird shit next minute He starts like showing us this trick where he pisses and pulls his dick forward and lodges it in the foreskin And then he'll get like a three-step run-up one two three And then shoot it release it and it can go like 15 to 20 meters It was the coolest built-up pressure. I was seeing I've ever seen in my life. I was like, dude, you're coming out with us Me and henry took him out and at one point we're at this sort of like outdoor bar where everyone's like around a fire Sort of enjoying their drinks Boys and girls and then I was like dude. It's time to do that trick And he sort of just he's like 20 meters away Me and henry are just sipping on beers. He just takes this run-up shoots Piss lands all over the people around the fire me and henry are just in Tears they all like oh my god, and then they see him do it Another one and that's when they saw him do it and how it was how they were getting wet Dude the whole bar to shut down like seriously everyone got kicked out. That was it. That was it for the that night like it was so far One of my favorite stories is if he was executed Piss on the tourist Behind me is just getting Shot in the back of the head My favorite story whenever I have to explain you guys because people are very confused sometimes because And they never admit if I talk about you like they won't bring you up They'll talk about crack and look and then I figure oh, yeah, I'll you know, sometimes I Hang out with muddy Michael do stuff. They'll be like, oh, yeah Like it's very clear that it's just the pent up like moment. They want to talk about so what's it like? And I'm like, yeah, so this is a story I always say right Yeah, so being friends with Michael is like you're walking down a path in public and he has to shit. So he shit And that's it. That's it. And I like what do you mean? I'm like he'll fucking drop his dachs Take a shit on the grass wipe the dachs like a dog and I've seen you do that so many times I wonder people always say because nick of nick from craga mooch. She was like, oh, you guys are like He's different than what I expected and like People must just think you prepare for the worst so they get the best. You know, yeah Yeah, true and look like I do recall a time where we just piss in my car as you drive us. Yeah Yeah, it was great, man. I missed that car It's a v6. Oh, yeah It went so far I don't even know what that means, you know when when I when I started working you went Hey, man, I just got a new car and you were just covering the like throwing Come shots of glitter all over the front of it and painting it because I had a big cock on it And you're like, I don't care. It just needs to be something different And it was just like Fucking sediment of glitter atop the front of it. Yeah, I do it started to sort of peel off. Oh my god I forgot about that. Yeah, man. Oh, I love that. I I remember that Oh god, dude, I don't want to talk about it. God, dude. Fuck, man. Good times. Yeah, all this shit, man You think moving into a big place where someone like matt's living would keep fix the smell But it smells the same as it did it. No, they don't do it. It smells like sweat. Hey But my nose is broken. I think it's the fly traps most recently. Oh, actually, yeah, the fly traps The fly traps they smell like shit, but we had to put them up because there were so many flies in the house, remember I Was like 45,000 flies in your room. I think more an alien comes down and actually your phone comes down Opens up and comes to you and says I I this is all real You can live a full life with me. We're going to explore the universe and I'll show you everything You can never ever come back and you have to leave right now. Oh, no, I can't do that. I'm married I've got amber and they say you'll never ever experience anything to do with your photos or aliens or paranormal ever again You'll never know the answers But they say you'll you'll know. Okay, what if they go you will figure out You understand you'll I'll show you the meaning of life and I'll show you things you can never come back to If you'll never see a human being again I think the beauty of life is not knowing the meaning of it Well, a fucking aliens telling you that that's not it He's got the answer for you. If you come with me, I'll give you the answer He's still going on. I'd say walk away right now Oh, go on, go on. No, no, no, no. Please get right in his face. No, please fight him. Please talk about your stickers, dude. So this is from One of your website members. It's a rock climbing sticker. It's from a rock climbing club. It's a yucca boy in the uk You love fucking sport for people who don't like sport Yeah, I go rock climbing. Yeah, you can't do that. Just like spend 50 minutes looking at a fucking rock to figure out how to climb it Shut up. It's ice skating is okay. Oh, look at that Russell brand He's he's a rock climber. Is he really? Yeah, you rock climbs as well. All right That's enough. Let's go Oh, is it no more presents? Is that all we fucking got for Christmas? Yeah That's the word. Well, you didn't really ask for much. Yeah, well, oh man I hear about packages in the works where there's like treats Someone's putting all these american chocolates together a lovely lady. It's gonna be so nice. I'd love a treat. It's christmas They're probably gonna be melted by the time we get it. I'll still we'll refrigerate it and make it happen Just as long as you know, take it out of the package. Should we do another season finale tomorrow? Let's film another one right now. Let's do it. Let's start ready Welcome to season finale of season five This is the second one. I've got my new joke Now, I haven't told you guys this joke Yeah, I think it's funny. I'm ready. It's crab How the fuck did you know? Did I fucking call you the other night? Yeah So I'm going do you reckon that's a cow? It's donkey, baby. That's what I thought as well Oh Imagine of a sniff Should we all have a sniff down if I smell this all throw up? Should we all have a sniff? Yeah, that is definitely a vomit smell. I'd smell the cum. I reckon that's a worse smell Fish so gross knowing that that was caked to the back of his throat. Are you gonna prank call? Yeah, I don't know No, I reckon we just fucking end it. It's been a it's been a I don't want to I want to be with you guys This is fun. We've been gone for two hours. It's the christmas special. We're gonna do some other shit today We got a fucking fucking oh wow it's 4 30. Yeah, holy shit. Let's end it. Fuck this dude. Oh my god I don't want to be here. We've got places to be. All right, everybody I'm gonna end it. Merry christmas and a happy new year and we're gonna be back In at the beginning of february so set your calendars and have fun everyone. We love you The best with the best with the He's having me. He's having me. He's having me. Okay. Okay. I'm gonna cut this Man, I'm gonna cut it. I'm gonna cut all this man. They've got the camera. I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee BAD! Hey, I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee I've got a bad knee