 K-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra opens a program with night after night. Everything from soup to Jell-O, and that, ladies and gentlemen, is the best way I know to describe a really complete meal. For Jell-O adds to any table that grand final touch of pleasure and perfection. Its rich glowing color is a tempting invitation to pick up that spoon and start right in on this swell inviting dessert. And just to taste it is to know the ultimate in good things to eat. Yes, there's nothing more attractive than a bright shimmering mold of delicious Jell-O, and there's certainly nothing more delightful than Jell-O's rare distinctive flavor, as enticing and refreshing as the juicy ripe fruit itself. So friends, make that next meal really complete by topping it off with a top-notch Jell-O dessert made with any of Jell-O's six delicious flavors. Ask your grocer for several packages of Jell-O tomorrow. And when you buy, look for those big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O, and Jell-O spells a treat. And after night played by the orchestra. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you our master of ceremonies. A man who- Hold it, Don, Don, hold it, hold it. Jack isn't here yet. Well, where is he? He's out in the hall talking to Orson Welles on the telephone. You mean Orson Welles, the famous actor? Yeah. What's he talking to him about? Well, it's a long story. Jack is still burned up because he didn't win the Academy Award this year. So from now on, he's going in for heavy dramatic stuff. And right now, he's out there trying to get Orson Welles to coach him. Ain't that a lulu? But gee, Mr. Benny's a comedian. What does he want dramatic lessons for? Well, that's what I say. He ought to stick to them big shoes and baggy pants. But I guess I better go out in the hall and get him. Yeah, tell him to make it snappy. I'll be right down the air. Okay. Yes, I understand, Orson. Yes. Yes. Quite. Oh, but definitely. Very well, Orson. I shall be expecting you within the hour. Hey, Jackson, we're waiting for you. I'll be there in a moment, Phil, old boy. By the way, Orson, shall I send my car for you? Or will you take a car? I mean, cab. Oh, very well. I shall be looking forward to your visit. Thanks very much. Goodbye. Well, that's that. Say, kind of putting on the dog there, wasn't you? Phil, don't say wasn't you. It hurts my ear. Well, get a load of him. He talks to Orson Welles for two minutes, and my English ain't good enough for him. And don't say ain't. Heavens. Oh, stop with that high-brow stuff. What are you trying to do? Make me feel subconscious? That's self-conscious. And listen, Phil, when Orson Welles gets here, will you do me a favor and talk just with your hands? I'll tell him you've got laryngitis. Come on, let's go inside. Yes, let's join the others. Gee, you're funny. You know, Phil, it's amazing that you haven't got your own program. Well, I may have one of these days. I often dream about my own show. Oh, you do? Well, maybe I can arrange for the Sandman to tear up your option and sprinkle it on you. Come on, subconscious. Oh, hello, Dennis. Hello, Mr. Benny. Oh, hello, Donna. I'm sorry I'm late. Oh, it's all right, Jack. Shall I go ahead now with your introduction? Oh, don't bother. Let it go tonight. Well, no build-up for the star, huh? It isn't necessary, Phil. I think I'm fairly well-known, don't you? You're Don Tutin. Everybody knows you, Mr. Benny, while your name is famous from coast to coast. Well, thanks, Dennis. That kid will work next year. That's not flattery, Phil. I've been in show business for a long time, and naturally, my name has become more or less familiar. Well, let me tell you something, Jackson. When I go out on the road with my band, I hit a lot of towns where they never even heard of you. No, kid. That's a fact. Well, Phil, in the kind of towns you play, you can get eight to one that shoes are a passing fancy. You never played a town yet where you didn't have to get off a train and get on a bus, get off the bus and get on a horse, get off the horse and crawl through the brush. You're not an entertainer. You're an explorer. Say, Don. Yes, Jack? I meant to tell you, I just spoke to Orson Welles on the phone, and he's coming over in a little while. Oh, yes, Phil mentioned something about it. He said you wanted Mr. Welles to coach you in dramatics. Yes, and he is consented to help me out. Gee, Mr. Benny, you're a swell actor now. You don't need any coaching. Yes, I do, Dennis. That's right. Don't change your mind so fast. You know, Don, I've been doing comedy for a long time in radio and pictures, and, oh, comedy is all right, but I've decided to go in for deeper things. Now, Dennis. Yes, please? Mr. Welles will be here pretty soon, so I think you ought to get your song over with it. You got something ready? Yes, Mr. Benny. This being St. Patrick's Day, I'm going to sing a real old Irish folk song called Fill the Flutter. Well, that's very apropos. Go ahead, Dennis. Okay. Say, Jack, I forgot to ask you, how's Mary getting along? Mary? Oh, she's much better, Don, but you'll have to stay in bed a couple more days. Well, I'm very glad she's improving. Hey, what's the matter with Mary? Oh, she had a bad... Dennis, you can close your mouth. We're going to talk for a while. Okay. Uh... She had a bad cold, Phil. I think it was a touch of the flu, but she's getting along fine. Has Mary got a nurse? Yes, Phil, and she's gorgeous. Well, all right. And her husband, who was six feet four, and could break you right in two, isn't bad looking either. Sing, Dennis. I think there'll be no more interruptions. And when right now he was careful to suggest to them if they found a hat of his convenient to the door the more they put in whenever he requested them the better would the music be for dancing on the floor with the toot of the flute and the twiddle of the fiddle up and in the middle like a heron on the griddle low up, down, and around crossing to the wall Oh, hadn't we the gaiety of Philip Flutter's ball? Then little Mickey Mulligan got up to show them how and then the widow, Cafferty, stepped out and makes her bow I could dance you off your legs as she assured you were born If you'll only make the pipe or play if a hare was in the corn So Phil plays up to the best of his ability The lady and the gentleman begin to do their share Faith and Mick, it's you that has agility Because of Mrs. Cafferty you're leaping like a hare with the toot of the flute and the twiddle of the fiddle low up and in the middle like a heron on the griddle low up, down, and around crossing to the wall Oh, hadn't we the gaiety of Philip Flutter's ball? Then Philip Flutter tipped to winks a little crooked pat I think it's nearly time to see for passing round the hat So Paddy passed the hat around a looking mighty cute says you've got to pay the pipe for when he tooters on the flute all joined in with the greatest joviality cover in the buckle and the shuffle and the cut Sheig's walker danced of the very finest quality but the widow beat the company a handle in the foot with the toot of the flute and the twiddle of the fiddle low up and in the middle like a heron on the griddle low up, down, and around crossing to the wall Oh, hadn't we the gaiety of Philip Flutter's ball? Well, Dennis is a funny thing but you're the only Irishman I ever met that I can lick Don't be too sure about that, buddy I guess I picked the wrong day, folks Say, I wonder what's keeping Orson He ought to be here pretty soon Well, Jack, you must remember that Mr. Wells is a very busy man between his radio program and directing plenty to do Oh, I know he has a heavy schedule In fact, I don't know how he'll ever find time to come over here and help you out Well, you see, Don, he and I are old friends We went to high school together High school together? Why, Orson Wells is only 24 years old Phil, he graduated from high school at the age of five Don't you read the magazine? Why, when he was seven he played Shylock and the merchant of Venice and the beard was his own Don't tell me about Orson Wells Pretty smart youngster, huh? Smart, Don, if you could have seen him in that high chair in front of the class doing his geometry lessons on his bib Well, it was simply phenomenal Is he going to teach you geometry, Mr. Benny? No, Dennis, he's coming over to coach me in dramatic art And I'll tell you one thing, fellas with his technique and my feeling for the finer things who knows what results I can attain who knows where I can go Oh, boy, if Mary was only here Never mind, Phil, I'm quite serious Anyway, when Orson gets... Oh, gosh, that must be him Come in Pardon me, has Mr. Wells arrived yet? No, not yet I'm the secretary, Ms. Wentworth If you don't mind, I'll wait for him Oh, no, no, no, come right in Thank you Oh, Mr. Harris, will you please show Ms. Wentworth to a chair? Mark the chassis here, babe Phil, make yourself comfortable, Ms. Wentworth Now, as I was saying, fellas when Mr. Wells gets here I don't want any heckling just behave yourself while we're rehearsing Well, what do you intend doing tonight, Jack? Goodbye, Mr. Chips Oh, no, Don, we're going to work up to that gradually First, he's going to teach me dramatic delivery and enunciation and how to breathe Isn't that right, Ms. Wentworth? I can hear you breathing way over here I mean, correctly You know, fellas there's a way of breathing when you read lines Pardon me Hello, Mr. Wells? Oh, he hasn't arrived yet but I'll have him call you Goodbye Well Who was that, Mr. Benny? It was, oh, darn it, I was so excited I forgot to ask Well, you're a fine secretary You're the secretary, not me Then why did you answer the phone? Because it's my phone, that's why I forgot to ask the man's name, so why? Mr. Wells won't like it Look, miss, don't worry about that The party will probably call back again And when they do, I'll be... Come in Excuse me, is this Studio B? Yes, sir I was to meet Mr. Wells here I'm Mr. Stone, his secretary His secretary? Then who's Ms. Wentworth? She's his private secretary I'm right out in the open Well, uh, come right in Mr. Wells should be here any moment Thank you How do you do, Ms. Wentworth? Good evening, Mr. Stone Gee, that Orson's a pretty busy guy, ain't he? Phil, I warned you about saying ain't Oh, that's right He's a pretty busy guy, am he not? Just let it go, Phil Now, Don, I wish that you and Dennis... Mr. Stone, here's a script the theater girl sent from New York Thank you And by the way, there was a phone call from Mr. Wells But Mr. Benny failed to get the name Oh, that's terrible I said I was excited and I made a mistake I'm sorry Mr. Wells won't like it Not to Mr. Wells Gee, you think I'd murdered somebody Now, Don, as I was saying If you and Dennis would be... Now what? Come in Pardon me, I'm looking for Studio B If he isn't here yet, have a seat Good evening, Mr. Wells Good evening, Mr. Wells Good evening, Mr. Wells Oh, Orson! I'm glad you were able to make it, Orson I was wondering if you were going to... Mr. Stone, did Gabriel send in those sketches The cartoon's the picture We'll be needing them soon, you know Yes, Mr. Wells I received that script from the theater girl Good, good, let me see it Here you are, sir Hmm, it looks like a very interesting play Whatever the finish the second act We'll need polishing Gee Oh, Orson, before we get started I'd like to have you meet some of the members Mr. Wells and his co-produce The first one that was given to you Did you cable Mr. Miller about The American rights to his new production The one that opened last week in London? Yes, I did By the way, just before you arrived A phone call came for you But Mr. Benny didn't get the name Snitcher I was excited, Orson That's alright Jack But watch those things in the future Oh Oh, I will Now, Orson, before we get started I'd like to have you meet the members of my cast This is our announcer Don Wilson How do you do, Mr. Wilson? And this is Dennis Day, our young tenor. Mr. Day? How do you do? Dennis, don't curtsy. Oh, he's, he's, he's, he's, you know, he's so polite. And oh yes, this is our orchestra leader, Phil Harris. Good evening, Mr. Harris. Hi, Orson. Still scaring people? Don't pay any attention to him, Orson. He's always like that. Oh, I don't mind. He's rather amusing in his own crude way. Crude. That's very good. By the way, Jack, where's Miss Livingston? Oh, Mary's home in bed, Orson. She has a rather heavy coat. Oh, that's too bad. Has she got a nurse? I checked on that, Bob. No soap. Oh, what course language. I don't know where he picks those things out. Just the same. He's a very interesting study. Don't you think? Oh, yes. Yes. Why? Why? Now, Orson, I think we ought to get started with my rehearsal. Did you have anything in mind for the first lesson? The first lesson? Now, let's see. Benny, Benny, Benny. Oh, yes. Hmm. You see, Jack, the reason you haven't gone as far dramatically as you feel you should is because you've been selecting the wrong vehicles. I have. Definitely. For instance, if your goal is the Academy Award, as you say, you should concentrate... Uh, pardon me, Jack, there's something I must do, Miss Wentworth. Yes, Miss Wentworth. Take a telegram to Mayor LaGuardia, New York City. Yes, sir. You see, Jack, you should concentrate on the heavier and more legitimate type of drama. I understand. Well, uh, what would you suggest, Orton? Dear Mayor LaGuardia. Receive your telegram, and if I'm in New York on the 29th, we'll be only too happy to attend the banquet. Well... However, we'll let you know in plenty of time if I ain't coming. Ain't? Listen, you said ain't. Oh, I'm surprised. Well, Jack, the use of the word ain't is sometimes permissible. You see, in this instance, by using ain't, I saved a word in a telegram. Oh. You don't have to tell him about saving anything. Never mind you. That's all, Miss Wentworth. Yes, sir. Now, Jack, where were we? Uh, you were about to suggest a proper vehicle for me. Oh, yes. Now, the type of play that would offer you the greatest scope for emotional histrionics would be a literary classic, something like the Hunchback of Notre Dame. The Hunchback of Notre Dame? Uh-huh. You mean Charles Lawton's part? Exactly. Gee, that would be swell. Mr. Christian, come here! How's that? That's from mutiny on the bounty. Oh, oh, yes. I got a little mixed up there, I guess. Well, Orson, if the Hunchback is the play you feel I ought to do, let's try it out. I'm your obedient servant. Shall we get started? Yes. Uh, Mr. Stone, did you bring the script to the Hunchback with you? Here it is, Mr. Wells. Good. Now, Jack, here's a scene that we can start out with, which I think will give, give... Oh, pardon me, Orson. Come in. Excuse me, is Mr. Wells here? Why, yes, he is. It's your teller, Mr. Wells. Oh, come in, Max. You might as well measure me right now. Okay, Mr. Wells, market is down, Sam. Right. Now, Jack, I think we can take this scene where the king of France meets the gypsy dancing girl. Here's Morelta. Now let me glance at him in a minute. Next! 15 and a half! 15 and a half! Wait, 36! 36! Lake 29! 29! Come on, Sam. Goodbye, Mr. Wells. Yes, I think this scene will be fine, Jack. Well, I'll do my best, Orson. Now, do you think I'll... Oh, Miss Wentworth. Yes, Mr. Wells. Take a memo to the tailor. No bells in the back. Now, Orson, as I was saying, do you think I ought to give my own interpretation of the Hunchback, or should I mimic Charles Lawton? In other words... Oh, darn it, excuse me. Hello? What? What? London? London, England? Oh, I think that's for me, Jack. Gee, London. Hello? Oh, hello, Miller. So nice of you to call. Yes, yes. Yes, I've heard splendid comment on your London production. I'd like very much to do it. Gee, all the way from London. I understand, Miller, but the theater guild has sent me a script which I may have to do first, you see. Yes. Phil, you better play something. This may take all day. Yes. My goodness, what a busy man. Now, here's the point, Miller. I'm committed to the guild until May 30th. However, if you could arrange to hold the American right, I'd still like to read it. Pecker's song played by Phil Harris and his orchestra. And, Phil, I'm very glad to see that you're not a hypocrite. What do you mean, hypocrite? I mean, your music was the same as always. You didn't play good just because we have a distinguished visitor. Well, Orson, should we get started with the hunchback of Notre Dame? I'm raring to go. Oh, now, wait a minute, Jack. Oh, Mr. Wells, I have an important message to deliver right now, and I wish you'd listen to it and give me your frank opinion. I'd be glad to, Mr. Wilson. Don, Orson is here to help me. Well, Jack, this will only take a second. Ladies and gentlemen, next time you're in the mood for attempting an appetizing dessert, go to your neighborhood grocer and ask him for a package of jello. You will find it's not only economical and easy to make, but comes in six delicious flavors. So be sure to insist on genuine jello and look for the big red letters on the box. Wow. How was that, Mr. Wells? Very good, very good. But I wish there was some place you could bring elephants in there. Elephants? What an imagination. Well, let's get to me now, A. Orson. All right, Jack, I see you're ready to play the hunchback. What did you do? Stuff a pillow up your back? No, no, that's this suit. I must have it altered. Say, Orson, I was just thinking, of course, I don't want to complain or anything, but as I remember in the picture, Quasimodo, the hunchback, had very little to say. In fact, all he did was grunt and groan. Not very dramatic, is it? Well, now that's where it's going to go. Not very dramatic, is it? Well, now that's where you're wrong, Jack, a groan or a grunt, if properly delivered, can convey as much emotion as a whole page of dialogue. Well, perhaps you're right, although I never thought of that. Now, tell me, Jack, can you groan? Groan? You ought to hear him on payday. Phil, you're the only one I resent pain. Well, now that you've explained it, Orson, I think I can handle it all right. Very good, then let's get started. Now, this particular scene calls for the King of France. I'll play that. Frollo, the King's High Justice. I'll play that, too. Hmm. Quasimodo, the hunchback. That must be me. Yes. And Esmeralda, the gypsy girl, Miss Wentworth. Would you care to help us out, please? Delighted, Mr. Wells. Now, Orson, I noticed in the script here that Quasimodo rings the bells in the tower of Notre Dame. Do you want me to ring them? No, I'll handle the bell. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And incidentally, Jack, at the finish of this particular scene, you have a very dramatic speech where you tell Esmeralda not to be afraid of you. It's really the highest part of the play. Oh, well, I'll sure try and get a ride, Orson. All right, then let's proceed. We open first with Esmeralda and Frollo. Now, quiet, everybody. Quiet, everybody. Mr. Wells is about to rehearse. You have the first line, Miss Wentworth. Yes, sir. Let me go. Don't touch me. You have the hands of the devil. Great. For such talk, I could have you burned at the stake. I am the law. Yes, the law that drives my people out of France. You deserve it. You are thieves and swindlers. You are lazy and you live by magic tricks and sorceries. But you don't know the gypsies. I don't want to know them. I want to wipe them out with fire and sword. Every one of them. How, how was that, Orson? Just grown once, Jack. Oh, oh, I thought twice. Now, at this point, King Louis XI of France enters the scene. Esmeralda speaks. Oh, thank heaven. The king approaches. Maybe he will listen to me. You will be heard. I will help you, my child. You're mad to see it. But you must give me a good reason. They say you are a lot of thieves. Oh, no, your majesty. Whenever we steal, it is because we are hungry. Help us, Sire. Please help us. I will help you. You and your people will suffer no longer. Go, go back to your... Go back to your people, my child, and tell them that their king will see that they have food and shelter and that in the future, they shall be unmolested. For this, I needed a teacher. Now, look, Orson. I don't know what's wrong, but I don't feel those groans. Maybe I ain't breathing right. Jack, don't say ain't. It's bad English. Well, for heaven's sake, you said it. That was in a telegram. Oh, well, Miss Wentworth, take a wire to Mr. Wells. Dear Orson, I ain't breathing right. And another thing, Orson, when do I get to that long speech of mine? It's right here at the top of the next page. Esmeralda speaks again. Continue, Miss Wentworth. Oh, thank you, your majesty. My people will always be grateful. Rest easy, my child. And now, goodbye. Goodbye, sir. Oh, wait, your majesty. Who is this ugly misshapen creature that is staring at me? I'm frightened. That's your cue, Jack. Oh, oh, yes. It is I, Quasimodo. Do not be terrified of me. I am not a man and not a beast. Yes, I am human, too. I have a heart and a warm core. But people... Hey, wait a minute, Orson. You're drowning out my voice. Well, the script calls for better. I don't care. You don't have to ring them that loud, do you? I'm sorry. Try your speech again. Oh, Mr. Stone, will you ring the bells this time? I want to watch Mr. Benny. Yes, sir. Uh, go ahead, Jack. It is I, Quasimodo. Do not be terrified of me. I am not a man and not a beast. But more looked down upon than me. Hello? Yes, he's here. It's for you, Mr. Wells. New York calling. Thank you. I have a heart and a warmth to others. Oh, hello, Harrington. I can't drive me off. Listen, Harrington, I'm trying to reach you all the way. I'm trying to reach you all the way. When you think I'll get to put those books. In an ugly body. I'm hearing this. I'm hearing this. You promised that two weeks ago. And all that is here. Harrington, this is why I look at you. Harrington. You are very beautiful. Harrington. And you try to look me in the eye. Oh, for crying out loud. How can I act with all this going on? For Heaven's sake. Oh, Mr. Wells, your suit is ready for a fitting night. Thank you, Max. I'll try it on here. Oh, the heck with a play, Phil. What I go through for a career. Folks, if you're looking for a swell dessert to serve for Easter dinner next Sunday, look no farther. Because here it is, the whole answer in a pastry shell. Jello Easter tarts, each one heaped to the brim with clear golden orange jello and several sections of tender juicy oranges. Yes, believe me, it's a glorious treat and just as simple as it is satisfying. To make it all you do is dissolve one package of orange jello in one pint of hot water. Chill until slightly thickened. Divide three medium oranges into sections, drain them, and arrange in eight baked tart shells. Fill the shells with jello, chill, and then, if desired, garnish with whipped cream before serving. The result, ladies and gentlemen, is a truly marvelous dessert. So plan now to highlight next Sunday's dinner with one of the most delicious and intriguing treats you ever tasted, jello Easter tarts, a grand combination of plump, juicy oranges and rich, brilliant orange jello. This is the last number of the 24th program in the current jello series, and we'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Say, Orson, I'm sorry I blew up the way I did, but I would like to become a dramatic actor. Well, Jack, those things take time, but I'll tell you what, come over to my show next Sunday. We're gonna do June Moon, and there's a swell part in it for you. Well, gee, I'll be glad to. Well, I have to groan much. No, Jack, there isn't a single groan in the entire play. Oh, gosh, and just when I had a down pat. Good night, folks. And here's more fun and enjoyment for you. Tune in every Tuesday night for another swell half-hour of jello entertainment, the famous Wildrich family. See your local paper or our movie and radio guide for time and station. This is the National Broadcasting Company.