 Yeah, I mean I keep getting these messages from women Wow, you're handsome. You're sexy. They're offering themselves to me and I asked myself What's wrong with these women? Are they? Drunk are they high on something are the legally blind? No, of course, they're not the lonely and And the thing is loneliness is the worst conceivable advisor It pushes you to do things you would not have contemplated or countenance had you not been lonely And yet people Let loneliness push them You see when when you Yeah, I mean I'm I'm I'm about as attractive as a desiccated lizard and about as irresistible as that Was the name of that character in Lord of the Rings. Yeah pressure. Yeah golem Yeah, I'm about as as as irresistible as golem Obviously, obviously it's something to do with them not with me I'm just I just happen to be there. I'm an excuse They idealize they create a fantasy But you see this is what this is what people do when they come across narcissists women men doesn't matter When they come across narcissists, they they idealize the narcissists they because they're so lonely They want to overlook any shortcoming any flaw any misbehavior Never mind how it ridges The truth is That you have you get all the information you would ever need About another person within a few minutes from from, you know within the first few minutes of a date You're in a date first ten minutes, you know everything there is to know Does he monopolize the conversation? Does he on the other hand? Remains does he remain eerily silent? interrogating you all the time as if he were assembling a file on you Does he treat other people? badly waitresses cabbies Uber drivers does he treat them badly even as he treats you as a princess or prince? does he Does he micromanage everything you do? Surveys you follows you observes you ask you intrusive questions Does he make decisions for you? Tells you where to go what to do and and so and I'm talking about the first date. I'm talking about like the first date Does he Within the first few minutes offer you marriage and then you know within the first few hours Planning you his future with you does he yeah Does he? make awkward statements Does he not react emotionally where he should this is known as inappropriate effect I mean there are so many signs and research has demonstrated that people react to these signs They develop something known as uncanny valley They feel extremely uncomfortable. There's a gut instinct. There's an intuition that something is wrong. Something is right Something is off-key and yet people deny this They repress this They repress it because they're lonely and they want to they want to delude themselves to deceive themselves into thinking That maybe he's the one or she's the one and so they they overlook things They ignore things warning signs red alerts are all over the place all over the place Does he does she lie? Did you catch did you catch her at a lie or a confabulation or a fib or you know some in Inexactitude or inaccuracy is there a discrepancy? But we're meeting what she says about herself her values her beliefs her history and so and the way she behaves Exactly does she emphasize looks and appearance over substance? I Can go on there's like 20 30 40 50 signs and they're all visible and discernible and ostentatious and conspicuous in On the first date and don't let anyone tell you otherwise people Justify themselves post factor. They say, you know, she's been a great actress She was a great actress He was wearing a mask. The must didn't fall until many months later I couldn't see through his acting they she had great thespian skills They she he deceived me. He he future faked. He lied. He That's all nonsense. This is all self-justifying Nonsense in another form of self-deception because you knew damn well You knew damn well that something is wrong when you met this guy or this girl You knew that something was wrong something was wrong about her personal history Something was wrong about the way she talked about herself and about others Something was wrong about how she handled Situations how she treated or mistreated other people something was wrong about her sense of humor something is wrong about her voices Anything from entertainment to food something is wrong about the way she interrogated you after you you went to the to the bathroom Something something was wrong about the alacrity and speed with which she was planning your life together Something was wrong about the way he held your hand took your purse told you which restaurant you're going to and what you're gonna eat Something was wrong about all this and you knew it and you damn well knew it and you didn't do anything about it Because you were lonely. You were sad. You were broken And you wanted some someone to hold your hand and to embrace you to hug you You wanted human warmth and human presence But the narcissist is not human Not in any sense of the word So you fell prey not to the narcissist but to your own neediness to your own Weakness to your own spinelessness to your own inability to enjoy your own company to your own in short Deficit in self-love That's what the narcissist takes advantage of he spots these vulnerability and he offers you companionship and Simulated em you a simulated love and a fantasy within which you can avoid reality You can escape because you don't like reality. You don't like your life you just You just one. Yeah, you just want a Disneyland a Disneyland and And you you would deny everything because of your loneliness. You would even find someone like me Physically attractive mentally attractive obnoxious and repulsive and creepy as I actually am And this is a lot That says a lot over the state of people out there. You see a Loneness being alone is the new normal single is the new black 63% of men and 34% of women are single at any given moment and 42% and 38% of women are lifelong singles either by choice or because they can't find an appropriate partner Majority of people no longer even have sex No longer even have sex majority of people are celibate. These are the facts Pew Center, not some Vakni get used to it move on You are doomed to your own company Enjoy it make friends with yourself Accept yourself have your own back protect yourself trust yourself become your best friend There's no one else will do it for you No one else will do it for you