 My life's kind of boring, but I'll film it anyway. No one else for this. Oh my God, please never let me do that again. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Vlogmas number 11. We're almost there. Can you believe it? Nuts, absolute madness. But I thought for this Vlogmas, I actually did this last year too, and a lot of you seem to enjoy it, where I kind of just like, wrap Christmas presents and answer your questions. Okay, you're gonna hear a lot of that because it's that time of day. It's just L.A. People like to vroom, vroom their cars everywhere. Vroom, vroom, vroom. So, okay, first question is, what are you loving about yourself during this season of life? That is so nice. I love that question. I got Drew some coffee cups. He wanted some like reusable sort of like, they almost look like stone, like ceramic. I'm not gonna show everything though, because honestly, we'd be here all day, but what am I loving about myself during this season of life? I do feel like I'm entering a season of life where I'm just trusting my inner voice. Like I'm really just like, okay, you know who you are, what your values are, what you have to offer, you know you're a good person, et cetera, et cetera. And I feel like I'm getting a lot better at that. Like I, in the past, and even still now, like I've been extremely consumed by what people may think of me or others' opinions of me or whatever. You can't even see what I'm doing, like hello? And I don't know, I think it's definitely like a thing that comes with being in your 30s, like getting older. I think you just become a lot more certain of yourself. And so yeah, I just like feel like I've been trusting my intuition a lot more. I've just been able to like hold true to myself and be like, no, you can think that about me, but that's not true. And just be less consumed by it, I guess. By the way, I got this Pokemon wrapping paper at an estate sale in Arizona, like a year or so ago. And I've never used it. Today is the first day that I was putting it to the test. I'm pretty sure it was from like the 90s, but it's still holding up quite well. So we're pleased with that. Okay, next question. Oh, this is from my friend, Emily Martinez. She said, what's the most important thing that you took and embraced from this year? Ooh, wow. This is a big one, but like advocating for myself, being like, this is what I need. And like not feeling like I'm a burden for doing so. Being like, hey, I need help with this, that and the other. Or like reaching out if I do need help. Or setting a boundary and be like, nah, I'm not cool with that. Or that's something that like, you're gonna have to figure out on your own or whatever. Like protecting my peace, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. Like by implementing boundaries, putting myself first, kind of a weird one for me. But this year has been like such a year of growth and amazing things. So I feel like next year's gonna be even better. Who are your celeb crushes? The first person I can think of right now is honestly Albie from White Lotus. Also on top of that, I mean Aubrey Plaza. Obviously I've been watching White Lotus, hello. I'm wrapping one of my many Stanley cups. This one's from my mom actually, which she watches my vlogs. So like, hi mom, I'm wrapping your Stanley cup. And I always look baby bridgers, hello. Baby bridgers, Taylor Swift, I mean, what's new there? Those are probably my biggest ones at the moment. Someone said, I recently learned I have ADHD. I'm also self-employed. How do you keep yourself motivated? I wish I had the answer to that. First of all, to anyone who has ADHD and manages to like get anything done, my hat is off to you. It's very hard. I think the older I get and the more I learn about ADHD and like realize that so many things in my life that I thought were just like bad parts of my personality or whatever are actually like because I'm neurodivergent. It's just been very liberating. It makes so much sense. But I really, really struggle. Like I am currently in like the busiest week of the entire year. And I'm buckling, I gotta be, I gotta be honest. I am not doing well. I am like dropping the ball left and right. So please don't beat yourself up. And it's really difficult when you're in charge of like delegating your own tasks and you're in charge of your own deadlines. Like you said that you're self-employed but also just any job like that. It's really difficult. So I wish I had some sort of secret answer. I'm not very good at being my own boss but I tried my best. I got a couple questions about laser treatments on my face which if you're new here, I started laser treatments at the beginning of 2022. Then I have a like a spot on my cheek right here of rosacea and then I also have a lot of skin texture. So I was going on this like laser journey essentially where I was gonna go every single month and get like pretty aggressive laser treatments done to my face for texture and then also for the scarring. And unfortunately I moved halfway through the year. So I haven't actually found anywhere here in LA that does that or I just haven't looked. So I believe I got four or five laser treatments for my rosacea and it definitely has lightened but only a little bit. And then I got one Fraxel laser done which if you missed that vlog, just go check it out. It was something. It was something, let me tell you. Will I continue it? Yes, probably because my skin is one of my biggest insecurities but I haven't done anything since like May or maybe April of 2022. What is your most controversial Christmas opinion? Oh God, do I have one? Okay, honestly, no. Drew and I have talked about this before. I know what it is. I do feel like my unpopular Christmas opinion is that Christmas, like the day itself is just kind of meh. Like the Christmas season leading up it. It's so magical, so fun. There's the music and the lights and the doing all the things like going to Disneyland or getting together Christmas parties, all that kind of stuff. But the actual day of Christmas is just always kind of meh. That's just sort of how I feel. I'm always like a little bit like, oh, it doesn't feel like Christmas. Like it just doesn't feel like it did back in the day. 90s Christmas babies, you feel me. Like it was just so magical, but it's still really fun. It's just definitely not the same. And so I just feel like I like the Christmas season better than I like the actual day of Christmas itself. I don't know, it won't cancel me. I got quite a few comments sort of surrounding Taylor Swift and just like the era's tour debacle in general. If you're not familiar with Taylor Swift's whole like ticket master thing, it was a thing. But the first question says, how have you not discussed the T-Swift debacle? Did you get tickets? I did. I actually got tickets to two different shows because I had verified fan free sale and then I also had capital one free sale. And I don't know. It's like I dodge lightning twice or maybe like I got struck by lightning twice. I don't know. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I do, I'm like almost scared to talk about it because people are so intense and hardcore, but I will be going to two different shows in Arizona and in LA. And I seriously can't wait. I think the reason that I haven't talked about it is because it was traumatic. And I don't use that word lightly. It was genuinely traumatic. And I never want to go through that again. It was awful. I barely survived. And then someone said, what era are you dressing up as for Taylor's tour? I have no idea. Like how am I supposed to do this? I already did Reputation because I went to that show. I already did 1989, so I went to that show. So I'm like, do I go full throwback and do red? Do I do Reputation again because it was so much fun? And it was my favorite from when Sierra and I did the Taylor Swift videos together last year. Also, do we coordinate? Because Sierra and I are going to a show together for one of them. So I'm like, do we coordinate something? Is everyone dressed up as a different era? Like I genuinely have no idea what I'm gonna do, but I'm excited. Let me tell you. Anyway, enough with the Taylor Swift. I know some of you get sick of the Taylor Swift stuff. So whatever, it's just a part of who I am. I may become a Taylor Swift stan account someday. Who knows? Besides LA, where else could you see yourself living in the US? That's actually a really good question because Drew and I talk about this all the time. We're kind of really only West Coast people, but like what we want out of a place doesn't really exist within our price range here. Like my dream home scenario is like a Tudor house or I mean, basically something that looks like it exists in England, which like you would have to most likely go to like the Midwest or the East Coast for. It doesn't really exist in the desert or in Los Angeles. And the ones that do exist like around like, you know, Beverly Hills and stuff. I mean our millions and millions of dollars, which I could never afford. So Drew and I are very much aligned in that way where we're like, we want seasons. Like we want to be able to have it be like cozy on Christmas and feel like we live somewhere that's like not a desert climate. But at the same time, like we don't know if we really want to be that far away. I will always like Nashville. I don't know if I would ever live there again, but I would probably like have a house there to come visit or like, I don't know. Honestly, our dream is to be snowbirds. So like either live in Arizona half the year or live in California half the year and then like live somewhere else. But who honestly knows like most likely we will end up in either Arizona or California. How are you doing with moving your body these days? I actually got a couple of questions about this. Like how's your joyful movement routine going? I have none. I'm not gonna lie. I haven't worked out since probably October, September. And I feel like that directly correlates with like how my mental health is doing at the time. Also very sorry if this is an extremely chaotic method of wrapping presents, it just makes sense to my brain. I do notice my mental health like not doing as well when I haven't worked out in a while and it's happening. So I really, really, really want going into 2023 to like sort of realign me and focus on exercising for my mental health, exercising for my physical health and just like getting into a better routine of doing so because I've kind of not been great at it but I have a lot of grace for myself obviously. It's hard out here. What is this? Oh, okay, moving on. What is your favorite and least favorite thing about being a YouTuber and content creator? Much love. I am sending much love back to you. That is really, really sweet. I would say that my favorite thing about being a content creator, well, there's so many and you know, my favorite things far outweigh my least favorite things. Okay, my favorite things are having flexibility in my schedule, having like my literal dream job, having something that I feel like I'm finally was like meant to do. I really struggled with that growing up being like, I don't know what I want to do when I grow up. Like I don't know what I want to eat. I did feel motivated to do anything. I was always just kind of like, what do I do with my life? And this has really given me like a lot of purpose and confidence. But of course with that comes one of my least favorite things, which is just like kind of having to take everyone's criticism about you like on the chin and you have to really have thick skin to be able to do this for a job. And you have to, like I sort of mentioned at the beginning of the video, you have to really work on your inner voice and like knowing, okay, I am a good person or that, hey, that's actually not true or you know, being able to separate what's like, you know, fair criticism or pulling you accountable or whatever from like nitpicking you and like letting you gaslight yourself and letting you think, maybe I am that or maybe I am a bad person or maybe I do X, Y and Z when like in reality you know for a fact that you don't. And then just, you know, like safety stuff like having people try to find out where I live or you know, just little things like that. Like someone one time was secretly filming me at Disneyland and like they didn't think that I could see them and it was just a really like bizarre intrusive feeling type of thing. So I will reiterate though that the pros far outweigh the cons. I freaking love this job. Aw, Sierra just texted me. I love her so much. We just had a phone call before this and she's the best. Next question says, how is the neighbor's situation in your new apartment? So for the most part, our neighbors are awesome. The neighbors who live next to us are so, so sweet. We say hello to each other. They say hi to Layla. We've become like on a first name basis with a lot of people who live like in the neighborhood. It's very like neighborhood vibes here, which I love. So like there are people that say hi to Layla every morning and stuff. And we see like a lot of the same people. That's great. And our neighbor who lives above us is really nice. I've really never like spoken to him except like, hey, like when we're in passing he's like pretty quiet and keeps to himself. But he recently got a girlfriend and she wears her high heels upstairs and she's walking around and then they like just paced back and forth. Like they're just walking all the time with their shoes on and it's like, and it's not like it's at, you know, seven or eight PM. It's at like midnight, one in the morning. He's also, I don't know if it's him or his girlfriend. They've gotten into like a habit where they do laundry at like three AM. So their washer is like, and it's like banging against our bedroom ceiling. So that's kind of weird. Let me know if you think I should like politely say something or if I should just let it go. Cause like genuinely he's just trying to live his life. He's like not trying to be a jerk, but it's sometimes like it's three in the morning and I just want to sleep. Do you know what I mean? So I don't know. But overall, like, oh my God, nothing compared. Like I had to think of that. I had to think to find something that like was less than stellar. But I genuinely love this apartment so much and Drew and I are so happy living here. Like we literally love it. Everyone that comes over, that's like from LA or our friends that live here that come here, they're like, how did you find this place? Like we feel really, really lucky. Someone said, what's a server story you've never gotten to tell, but still think about. You know what's so funny is I was just thinking about one this morning. I was thinking about, this is like not really a story, but it's just a quick thing that I remembered where I had worked a really long shift at this one restaurant job. I think it was a double shift. And I was so tired. And I think I like went to the bathroom or something after my shift. And then I like went to do something else. And maybe I was like getting my stuff or my coat or whatever. And I got to my car and I started driving home and I realized I didn't have my like apron, my server apron. And my server apron had all of my money in it that I made that night. It probably was like $150 or $200 or something like that that I had made from a double shift. So I'd been there for like 12, 13 hours at that point. And so I immediately like turned around, went back to the restaurant, ran to the bathroom. Of course it was gone. Like it was gone. I can't even remember how long I had left it there, but I literally worked for an entire day and I didn't make any money. And I, oh, when I tell you, I sobbed the entire way home. I told my managers about it and they were just like, like there's nothing we can do. You just kind of left your wallet or you know, your apron and it got stolen. I was devastated. I was genuinely so upset. And yeah, so that was, you know, a day that I worked completely for free because if you know anything about waitressing, your paychecks are $0. So you fully rely on tips. And so I made $0 that day. And that was probably one of the worst days of my serving career. Next question is, are you still considering buying a property? Yes, question mark. If you missed it, Drew and I actually almost bought his mom's house his past year and it didn't end up working out for like a variety of reasons. So it's like something that I've kind of been thinking about moving forward. I'm like, hmm, like do we want to do this? And we continuously talk about it. And I do actually think that 2023, almost 2021, please help. I do think that 2023 might be the year that we buy something and it won't be in Los Angeles likely. I mean, unless I won the lottery, that's just simply not gonna happen. I don't think people realize how unhinged these prices are out here. And I just don't even know if I'd want to own anything here. I didn't make it, but probably. So likely we would want to buy something in Arizona just to have for when we're in town or maybe my mom can live in it or something. But it's difficult because we don't know if we would want to buy a house or a condo and also we would have to figure out how to like afford both. So that's just something that we've been talking about but I feel like it might happen. Maybe I'll get like a condo or something. Someone said, what is your least favorite question to be asked and what question do you get most often? I think my least favorite questions to be asked are, are you getting married or are you having kids? And I feel like people genuinely don't believe me. When I say that I'm just not that interested in having kids, like there's always a reason. I've seen comments before that are like, well, it has to be Drew then or it has to be this or that. And it's like, or I just don't think that it's for me. Like it's not that I don't love kids. I freaking love kids. I am really, really good with kids actually. I had younger siblings growing up that were like much younger than me. Like they were born when I was in high school or I guess middle school and high school. And I married for a little while during my life. I always babysat. I feel like I get along really well with like all of my friends, kids and stuff. But I just really, really love my peace and quiet. I love having nieces and nephews and I love coming home to like a quiet home. And I don't know, sometimes it feels like I have to like prove like, no, I see. There's not something wrong with me. I just don't know if I want that. And it's just kind of like, I don't know, it feels kind of yucky. So that's probably the one that I get asked the most often that I'm kind of like, okay, yeah, I get it, okay. Cause maybe to a lot of people, they don't have no women in their lives who like intentionally don't have children. Cause I know that that's like expected from a lot of us in society. So I don't know, man. I get that a lot of times people just genuinely want to know. So that doesn't bother me at all. Like there's a genuine, there's a difference between genuine curiosity and like your clock is ticking. What's wrong with you? So Drew and I have said that if it's not like, you know, cause I'm gonna be 35, let's be honest. And Drew and I have said that if it's not like between both of us, if it's not like an emphatic 100% yes by the time we're like 37, it's not gonna happen. I just like being a pet mom. I don't know. And then the last question says, how do you deal with feeling left out slash friendship rejection? Unintentional or intentional? Oh, I don't know if I'm the right person to ask about this cause I am sensitive. I'm a Pisces rising, which I apparently means I'm very emotional and I am, but also with ADHD, there's this thing called rejection sensitivity. I have a really hard time with like feeling left out, feeling rejected. And it's something that I'm continuously working on, but I went through a situation a couple of years ago where like your question said, you know, in a friendship, it was sort of like one of those things where you're like, you know when you like walk into a room, right? And you're like, was I just being talked about? Like, were people just discussing me in this room before I walked in? And then like, you know, the logical part of your brain is like, you know, that's not happening, of course not. But then you like find out that it was, and then you're just like, oh, and then it kind of just makes you sort of question everything. Like you're like, am I a bad person, am I unlovable? As a friend, am I flawed morally? Like what is wrong with me? You know, that's caused like this friendship break up to happen or whatever. And so like a lot of times if I have like drifted from friends or if I've been ghosted or if a friendship hasn't worked out, I like take it really, really hard and I put it all on me, even if it's not, I'm still working on it. It's definitely something I'm still working on because it's just part of like growing up. It's part of getting older and realizing that not everyone is gonna stick with you forever and you're gonna be friends with some people for a really long time and some people for a short time. And that doesn't make the friendship any less wonderful or valid for when it happened. But it can be really hard to not take it personally when, you know, you go through a situation where you feel rejected by people or like you said in friendships. So I think a lot of it just comes with like age and like therapy has really helped with that a lot. It's really helped me sort of recenter and be like, yeah, I am a good friend. I have a lot to offer. Of course I have flaws like everyone else, but having that voice in the back of my head that constantly reassures me that like, I'm doing okay. I'm on the right path type of thing really, really helps, you know? So anyways, I have one more big box to wrap and I need to like clear all this stuff out and we're going to Disneyland soon. So I hope you enjoyed. We are almost done with Vlogmas. Like I can't believe that. Okay, now I can come a little closer. We have one Vlogmas after this. I have no idea what it's gonna be because I'm gonna be honest, I'm tired. I'm tired, but we're gonna make it fun. We're gonna make it festive. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sending in your awesome questions and we will see you next time for Vlogmas number 12, another year down. I can't believe it. It comes and goes in a flash. It really does. That's crazy. Okay, see you soon. Bye.