 Oh you who believe, be mindful of God as he deserves. Be mindful of God to the extent in a manner that he deserves. And don't die without having surrendered to God. Not surrendering to yourself, not surrendering to ourselves, but surrendering to God. What does it mean to actually surrender to God? What does that mean? And how does that actually make sense in our current culture and our climate? How can I surrender to God? Aren't I supposed to surrender to myself? Aren't I supposed to be free and do what I want, when I want, how I want? Aren't I entitled to everything to be perfect? Right? How am I supposed to surrender to God? Don't I do what I want? Aren't my feelings, my feelings, defined for me right and wrong, truth and false? Right? We come on Fridays in this beautiful, magnificent religion designed by God as a gift to us. Alhamdulillah we're here. Alhamdulillah. And so we begin and we praise Allah and our praise is never enough because he's amazing, Subhanah, he's transcendent, he's incredible, he's all-powerful, he's all-knowing, he's beginningless, he's never-ending. He is God, the One, the unique, the only, the One who sends down rain and the One closer to you than your own heart or your vein, the One who's everywhere in his knowledge, the One who says be and it is. And then we thank Allah and our thanks can never be enough. We didn't earn our money or our reputation or our career or our good looks or our this or that or our house. We didn't earn it. That's a delusion. God gives whom he pleases. He gives money to whom he wants, he takes money from whom he wants, he honors whom he wants, lowers whom he wants. So taking a moment to thank Allah for anything you have. Taking a moment to thank Allah and our thanks will never be enough. And then we remind ourselves that we weren't made for this world. And that's a powerful, powerful sentence, idea, concept. Then what were we made for? Why am I here? What am I doing here? What's my purpose? You weren't made for this world. At best, you're just a stranger. You're worldlings. You know how like there's like Martians and like you're worldlings. But you don't belong here. Irji'i ila rabbiki. Come back. Come back. At best you're strangers or travelers. Right? And imagine someone who's on a road trip and falls in love with the gas station where he fills gas. You'd be like what's wrong with that fool? Well all of this is just a gas station. We're coming, taking a little bit, filling ourselves up and leaving. This whole thing's a pit stop. It's a rest area. It's an oasis. Right? But what do we need to do is take off our dunya glasses and put on our achira glasses. This is not our home. Our home is in the next life in paradise. It's waiting for us. It's calling us. And that's where we belong. And that's where we're going. And that's what we yearn for. And we're excited about. And so, and then we remind ourselves, we warn ourselves that we are returning to our maker. You're returning. I'm returning. All of us are returning. We're not going to take with us our jobs, our money, our career, our resume, our houses, our homes. We're not going to take anything with us. You take with us your deeds. And so, we warn ourselves to wake up for a moment. Oh my God, what am I doing? What's going on? Why am I here? Why am I so upset? Why am I so angry about all this dunya stuff? All this worldly stuff? Why am I so upset? And so, I share with you on this beautiful Friday. I share with you a verse in the Quran where God, subhanahu wa ta'ala, where Allah, our author, our maker, is teaching us how to view this world, right? Paradimes. And Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, says to us. And He says, I seek refuge with Allah from the satan of the regime. And He says, And Allah says, I made you, I designed you to be to each other a difficulty, a challenge, to be to each other annoying. annoying. By our very nature, husband, wife, child, son, daughter, brother, sister, I made you to each other annoying. Not perfect. Perfection is for paradise, contentment is for this life. Perfection is for paradise. Contentment is for this life. What does it mean to shift from perfection to contentment. Expecting perfection to expecting contentment. It's like under promise over deliver. It's a very beautiful concept. And in this way, we understand that I'm not entitled, as this culture tells us, I'm not entitled to a perfect job, a perfect career, a perfect car, a perfect house, perfect marriage. Everything needs to be Instagram-able, snap-chat-able, tick-tock-able. Everything needs to be perfect. If it doesn't work, let's take the picture again. That's not what this life is. This life is a temporary abode. And God promises it's going to be difficult. And so reorienting a little bit of our expectations can shift us to actually experience more happiness, right? I call you holy hell that I seek forgiveness from God. He forgives all sins. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. As-salatu wa s-salamu ala Rasulillah. Marriage is often the place where we are most annoyed, where someone is most annoyed. So how can we apply this verse that we're learning and understand it in the context of marriage? We made you to each other annoying. Will you be patient and your Lord's watching over you? And so ask yourself, I ask myself, we ask ourselves, what would my wife say about me if I passed away? What would she miss and what would she not miss? What would my husband say about me? What would he miss about me and what would he not miss about me? What can I do a little bit more or different to make my husband or my wife a little happier? What can I do? Because it's my job as a husband and my mission as a husband to make my wife happy. And it's my job as a wife and my mission as a wife to make my husband happy. You've been given, when you got married, you've been given an amana, a trust of another human being's heart. And not just one human being, because it's the whole family. And how are we doing with that amana? And so I leave, I share with you, I leave you this one tangible takeaway. Okay? Sometimes in our marriages, there are things in our marriages that are that are never going to change. That are never going to change. It could be something that they do or that they say or a way that they act. And maybe in the beginning of our marriage, we tried one time, two times, five times, ten times. And it's something that's so theoretically changeable, something that's so technically changeable. However, even though he wants the change or she wants to change it, it's never changing. And it could be something simple like how they hang up their towel or not or their shoes or not or their car or not. Or it can be a physical feature or an emotional feature or something, the way they say something or they do something. And you try one time, two times, three times, four times. Hey, can you try changing this? Yeah, sure. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Second time. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I'll change it. Yeah, yeah. I'm so sorry. Third time. And it can be something so simple and mundane. Something so like, like, for example, someone told me once about hanging up the keys. This husband could never hang up the keys and drove his wife crazy. Because whenever she needed the car, the keys were always somewhere in one of his jackets or one of his pockets or one of his pants and she'd have to go rummage throughout the house looking for the keys. And then if there and then if there's two pairs of keys, both of the pairs of keys were with the husband. And then if they had two cars, he would leave the house with all sets of keys for all the cars. And the wife is there with the car on the driveway without the keys. This is Dunya. This is Dunya. Well, Caldemine El-Ghaith extinguishing the anger. The strong man is not the one who can wrestle the other. The strong man is the one that has composure in a moment of anger. That's the strong man. Composure in a moment of anger. And so what's the solution? Can I should I come back and shout at my husband? What are you? Five years old? I was late to my meeting. I was late to my school. I was late to this. Can't you just put the keys where they be? And then she had thawing comes and then arguments come. And guess what? It's a changeable thing that's never going to change. Can someone easily hang up the keys? Yes. Is it ever going to happen? No. So each marriage has one of these hanging up the keys, not hanging up the keys thing. In your marriage, it might be something else. It might be so. Now, when you've identified this changeable thing that's never going to change, here's what we do. And this is very important. And this will bring a lot of happiness to marriages and prevent a lot of arguments, a lot of angst, a lot of and it'll make shit on unhappy and make God happy. And so when you've identified that changeable thing that's never going to change, there's three things. There's three things you do. Number one, you don't look at it. Number two, you don't talk about it. And number three, you don't even think about it. Number one, you don't look at it. Maybe it's a physical feature. Okay, we're not in heaven. We're not all perfectly beautiful, right? Perfection is for paradise. Contentment is for this life. Even though we've been duped to think everything, we're entitled to everything to be perfect, we need to break down that dismantle some of those expectations, right? So don't look at it. Whether it's the car in the driveway or the key is not hanging up. Number two, don't talk about it. After your late year meeting and you took your Uber, even though the car is on your driveway, don't come back and be like, how many times are you going to do this? Because why? You arrive to a point that this changeable thing is never going to change. You can talk about it the first time, the fifth time, the 10th time, fine. But then you realize it's never going to change. And it's only inviting Shaytan to these arguments. And the only winner of an argument is Shaytan. The only winner of an argument is Shaytan. When two people are arguing, be like, who won the argument? Like I won. Who won the argument, Shaytan? Shaytan is the only winner of the argument. That's it. Even if you think you won an argument, you lost their heart. You invited Satan. Satan's real. So number one, don't look at it. Number two, don't talk about it. And number three, don't even think about it. And that's possible. Right? Think about other things that you're grateful for and Allah will give you more to be grateful about. And think about and don't think about things that you that that you want to complain about Allah will give you more things to complain about. So take a moment, turn your eyes away, avert your eyes, talk about something else, and it goes away. It goes away. It might take five minutes. It might take five hours. It goes away. It goes away. Right? Because marriage is that unit. We want to protect it. Marriage is half of faith. It's beautiful. You want to be a source of joy for your husband and for your wife. May Allah put harmony in our marriages, inshallah. May we understand and realize. And you know, they say that the most important ingredient for marriage is patience. And I actually think the most important ingredient for marriage is wisdom. Because the more wisdom you have, the less patience you need. And patience is a level beneath contentment. Because with patience, you're feeling the pain. With contentment, you're not feeling the pain. But it's the same experience. So we want to elevate from patience to contentment. And all and this is that recipe. Don't look at it. Don't talk about it. And don't think about it. And then inshallah, this will bring and remember the beauty that you had in your marriages. Remember the beauty that your wife brought. And remember the beauty that your husband brought. Remember those gentle moments, those soft moments. Remember them. And appreciate them and smile. Right? And when you walk into your home, smile and bring gifts and love will flourish, inshallah. We ask you to accept this gathering to let us leave this mask elevated. Let us leave this mask illuminated. Let us leave this mask revived and renewed and recommitted. To let us leave this mask more beloved to you. To let us leave this mask more beloved to you, recommitted to you, closer to the Prophet Muhammad, ﷺ. Closer to the Muhammadin character, ﷺ. Re-committed to be a source of joy to our husbands and wives. Re-committed to be a source of joy to our families. Re-committed to love others more than we love ourselves. Re-committed to break our egos and these idols inside of ourselves. Re-committed, Ya Allah, to be patient and content in this life. Re-committed to take off our dunya glasses and put on our akhira glasses. Re-committed to marriage. Re-committed to our wives. Re-committed to our husbands. And Ya Allah, wisdom is a gift from you. O Wahab, O Gifter, O Gifting, can you gift us wisdom? Can you gift us wisdom? Can you gift wisdom to our marriages? Can you gift our marriages wisdom? Our children wisdom? Our families wisdom? Our leaders wisdom? Our presidents wisdom? Our scholars wisdom? Our institutions wisdom? Ya Allah. What can we do without you? Don't forsake us to our own selves, Ya Allah. And Ya Allah, all of us are works in progress. We've made mistakes. We come with sins and with filth and with arrogance and pride and with anger. All of us, Ya Allah. But, Ya Allah, you are the flipper of hearts. You're the turner of hearts. And you exchange the ugly for the beautiful. Hey, you exchanged hatred for love. You exchanged chaos for composure. Ya Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah. Ya Allah. We beg you, we implore you. Ya Allah. We petition you. What can we do without you? We're at your door knocking. Ya Allah. Ya Allah, we want to be submitting to you. We want to be surrendering to you, not to our own selves. We want to be following you, loving you. Ya Allah, Allahumma, Allahumma, Aslamtu nefsi ilayk. O Allah, we surrender ourselves to you. We turn our attention to you. We entrust our affairs to you. We depend and we lean on you out of love and fear of you. There is no escape from you, except to you. There is no escape from you, except to you, except to you, except to you. O Allah, we believe, we reaffirm our belief in the book that you revealed and in the prophet and the messenger that you sent. O Allah, we ask you for everything good that our prophet, Aslam, asked for and seek protection from every harm he sought protection from. Subhana rabbika rabbil az-zati ama yasifoon wa salamu ala al-mursaleen wa alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen wa salilahumma ta'ala sayinna muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salam tasliman katira. Inna Allah yaamur bil adli wal ihsan wa ita idhar qurba wa yannha anil fahshai wal munkari wal baghiyadakum ilalakum tidakkarun. Remember Allah and He will remember you. Remember Him with dhikr and He will wake up. Ameen, Ameen, Ameen. Wa alhamdulillahi rabbil alameen