 Kraft presents the Great Gilder Sleeve. Yeah. Kraft Cheese Company, makers of Parquet Margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products, presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. Kraft brings you the Great Gilder Sleeve every week at this time, written by John Whedon and Sam Moore with the music by Claude Sweet. Well, they're from the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a moment. You know that there's a spread for bread that's made by Kraft and that it's called Parquet Margarine? Well, it's that fresh, delicate flavor that makes Parquet taste so good. And you know that every pound of this spread for bread that's made by Kraft and is called Parquet Margarine and tastes so good contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Well, then listen to more good news. This nourishing spread for bread that's made by Kraft and is called Parquet Margarine and tastes so good contains 9,000 units of important vitamin A. Well, then listen to more good news. Parquet Margarine and tastes so good and contains vitamin A also is one of the most economical energy foods you can buy. So, enough said, tomorrow ask your dealer for delicious nourishing Parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y Parquet Margarine made by Kraft out of the busy world of industry and finance. Jubilant last week was eager bumbling Frockmorton Pig Elder Sleeve one-time water commissioner and prospective mousetrap tycoon. He envisioned a rosy future in a post-war world of mice and millions. Well, time marches on and Gilder Sleeve forges ahead with plans for the manufacture of McGee's plastic mousetrap. We find him now at dinner discussing those plans with his legal counsel Judge Hooker, present also are his niece Marjorie and nephew Leroy. Now, let me give you the picture as I see it, Judge. To begin with, we issue 10,000 shares of stock McGee and I at a par value of a dollar a share. That gives us a startling capital of 10,000. Now all... Leroy, pass the salt. Leroy, pass the salt. She didn't say please. I did too. In any way, why should I? Pass the salt. Pass it. Here, Marge, salt. Never mind. You're too late. I'll eat it without salt. You take it. Here, give me that, Leroy. Uncle Morton, not on my hand. You asked for salt. Count found it. Now eat it. But not on my hand. The hand was salty already. I wanted it on my... Eat it. Oh, God. I'm trying to talk business with a judge here. I'm sorry, Judge. Continue. I wasn't saying anything, Gildy. It was you. Oh. Yes. Well, I'll go back. To begin with, McGee and I issue 10,000 shares of stock. Excuse me, please. Yes? Before you begin, if Marge is through with the salt there. Give him the salt. Hey, I, Judge Leroy, you don't have to grab. Quiet. Now, if you're listening, Judge... I'm listening, Gildy. Continue. I always like a little salt on my spinach. I always like a little quiet when I'm talking. You're always talking. Leroy. Proceed, Gildy. I've forgotten where I was now. Yeah, you were cooking up some shady stock deal. Oh, yes. Well, to begin with, what do you mean shady? This is all open and above board, Judge. We simply issue 10,000 shares of common ordinary stock which gives us a working capital... Excuse me. What is it, Bertie? I have a little more of the corn pudding for the Judge. Pudding Judge? Well, I'll tell you, Bertie, I shouldn't eat any more but pie golly, I'm going to. It's simply delicious. Yes, thanks, shall I? Shoot the jam, Marge. Leroy, that's no way to ask. Sorry. Pretty fair one. Would's pass the rosberry jam. Marge? Thank you, sister dear. You're welcome, brother dear, and may it choke you. Sweet kid. No, no, no. Leroy, a little more corn pudding for you? Not for me, Bertie. I've got only a little bit left here, ain't you going to help finish it up? No, thanks, Bertie. I can't stand the stuff. Leroy, is that anyway to talk about something Bertie has worked hard on? Well, it's squishy. I can't stand anything squishy. I've told you, young man, not to criticize your food. Give him another helping, Bertie. Oh, Mr. Guilth, leave it to me. Give him another helping. According to modern education, Gildy, let's keep modern education out of this, judge. Give the boy another helping, Bertie. Yes, sir. I'm sorry, Leroy. I'm telling you. You'll either eat it or go to bed. No, you won't. You'll eat it. A little corn pudding never hurt anybody. I ate corn pudding when I was your age. Didn't like it particularly, but I ate it. Corn pudding is good for you, Leroy. Build you up. Vitamins. All right, you don't have to eat it if you don't want to. If you're referring to Everett Todd, I can't stand him. Oh, you can't, eh? No, I can't. Everett Todd is a mole. Oh, what? A mole. He's a drip. A mole? That's a new one. You mean Ainsworth's Todd's boy? Yeah, Everett. I thought he went to military school. He did, but the army took it over. So now he's back in high school. He ought to be in reform school. Oh, now, he can't be that bad, Marjorie. His father's president of the First National Bank. We all know that, judge. The boy is plainly a mole. And so is his own man. I can never stand him either. Thank you, Uncle Mort. I've had any use for Ainsworth. I haven't any use for his son. I don't want him hanging around my niece. Now, guilty, you don't know anything about the boy. He's a mole, judge. He threatened to come over this evening. If he does, I shall just refuse to see him. If he does, I shall throw him out on his ear. Boy, I hope he comes. Why? You haven't seen him lately. He's got a good six inches over you, Walt. The judge and I have business. He's for corn pudding. Eat it. There's a young Mr. Todd at the door to see her. Todd? That must be Ainsworth's boy. Well, by George, I'll tell him where he... Now, wait a minute, guilty, wait a minute. Have the young man wait, Bertie. You know, I've been thinking. I wouldn't be too hasty about throwing a young Todd out of the house. You may want to borrow money from his father's bank. Borrow for Ainsworth, Todd? That's stuffed shirt. I never borrow a nickel from him. I might sooner raise the money myself. By George, I will raise it myself. How? I don't know. Todd isn't a bad fellow. He's got the only bank in Summerfield. Monopoly. Oh, you're talking like a baby, Throckmorton. What on earth have you got against Todd? Well, he threw me out of his office once, if you must know. What for? We had a disagreement. I may have called him a crook in the heat of the argument. Hmm. Well, you better see if you can get back in his good graces. If he's against you, you won't get credit anywhere in town. Oh? Hmm. All right, Judge. I've got to be going now, but think it over, Gilder. Yeah. Birdie, I'll speak to the young man myself. Yes, sir. Good night, Judge. Gilder's leave is my name. How do you do, sir? So you've come to see Marjorie? Well, yes, sir. That is if she's in. Oh, she's expecting you all right. Yes, indeed. Come right in. Marjorie! Yes, Uncle Lord? Better hurry down, my dear, someone to see you. I'm a little bit of a surpriseer. Well, let me have your hair. Come in and sit down. I remember your father. Remember him well. Call me, Uncle Lord. Do you have a visitor, my dear? I have. Hello, Marjorie. How are you? I thought you were kidding when you said you might come over. I've got an awful lot of homework to do. Oh, jeez. I'm terribly sorry, but I'll have to ask you to excuse me. No, Marjorie, you can relax for a few minutes. Bad for your eyes to keep studying all evening. It's been pretty warm lately, hasn't it, Marjorie? Yes, it has. Quite unseasonable. I guess it'll be getting colder pretty soon, though. Huh, Marge? Think so, Marge? Oh, I suppose so. Marjorie, do you like wedgie, encola's music? Oh, it's all right, I guess. I think he's murder. His whole band's murder, but he's really murder. I think he plays more trumpet than Harry James. I wouldn't know. You don't happen to have wedgie's record of is-you-is or is-you-ain't, do you? No, I haven't. Well, I just happen to have it with me. I mean, out in the car, if you'd like to hear it. He plays an awful lot of trumpet in that record. Is that so? By the way, how's your father these days? Would you like to hear the record, Marjorie? I think you'll enjoy it. Oh, sure, she would. So would I. Well, swell, it'll only take a second. I'll leave the latch off. Be right back. Marjorie, you're not being very polite to your young friend. Uncle Mort, I told you I didn't want to see him. He's a mole. No, my dear, that's just your opinion. Oh, no, it isn't. You said so yourself. You said you didn't like him. I don't even know him. I need money from his father's bank to finance our company, my dear. And I can't have you insulting this boy. Oh. Just be friendly, can't you? I suppose you want me to let him kiss me. If he tries it, I'll break his neck. All I want is ordinary courtesy, my dear. Just be friendly. Because if you're friendly, he'll be friendly. And if he's friendly, maybe his father will be friendly. The tight one. Now, if you... Oh, hello, my boy. Got the record, I see. What's his first name, my dear? The phonograph is over here, Everett. Yes, right over here, Everett. Oh, thanks. I sure hope you're going to like this, Marjorie. I'm sure she will. I, uh, heard his record of Blue Lagoon, and I thought it was awfully good. Oh, that one. After he made it, he fired his whole rhythm section. The new guys are much better. Uh, how's your father these days, Everett? Is the needle hot yet? I guess he's all right. Well, here we go. Nothing like a little jazz. That's wedgie, Mr. Gildersley. Some tone, huh? Great. I always like the cornette. It's a trumpet. Trumpet? Oh, it's hard to tell, isn't it? Quiet. How can we hear it? Oh, sorry. You think the fellow is Toscanini? Or Czakowski? That's the end of the solo. That trumpet's really murder, isn't it? It suggests murder. Hee-hee-hee. That's our cola for a start. It was a piano player. He didn't switch till the trumpet till later. Well, that happens. By the way, Everett, what was your father before he became a banker? I guess he was always a banker. Uh, I guess he's pretty good at it, too. Knows who to lend money to. Knows a reliable man when he sees one. Yeah, I suppose so. I never thought much about it. Leroy! What are you doing down here in your pajamas? Corn Saker couldn't sleep! What was all that racket? Racket? That wedgie, our cola's latest record. Our cola? Just the trumpet solo, Everett. You belong in bed, young man. Oh, just let me hear it this once. Roll them, Everett. They're rolling. Uh, what'd you say the name of the piece was? Quiet! I want to hear the trumpet. They can hear it across the street. Anybody gets paid for stuff like that, I can't imagine. You ate my baby. Uh, a little ungrammatical, isn't it? Cooper. Go to bed, Leroy. Well, it's only 10.30. I don't care. It's time you were in bed. Besides, it's 10.45. It's 10.40. Stop quibbling and go to bed. Gosh! Hates to go to bed, the little rascal. Now, what were we talking about, Everett? Oh, we were talking about your father. No, no, about Wedgie Arcola. But, gee, I ought to be going home. Stick around. It's only 11. No, no, gee, I gotta go. Well, now that you know the way. I'd like to come and see Marjorie again. Oh, I hope you will. That's the way, my dear. Yeah, we'd love to have you. Well, it's sure great to meet people that are interested in good music. I'm afraid Mr. Gildersleeve isn't quite as old on Wedgie as I am. Don't you believe it, my boy? I'm crazy about Wedgie. Really, Uncle Mort? I think he's great. Is you is, or is you ain't my baby? Oh, gosh! Mr. Gildersleeve, as long as you're getting to be such a fan, how'd it be if we played it once more? Just the solo part. Oh, sure. Love to hear it. Come on, Everett. I love every note of that thing. It'll take more than 10,000 to pay me for this. More than 20. My George, there isn't enough money in the whole bank. Oh, it sure is. Well, good night, Mr. Gildersleeve. Good night, Marjorie. I'll leave the record for you. Only take good care of it, huh? Good night. Good night, my boy. Oh, and give my regards to your father. Now, for Pete's sake, let's go to bed. Good night, Gildersleeve. We'll be with us again in just a few seconds. Now, three ways you can help yourself and help the dealer who supplies you with Parquet Marjor and the delicious craft quality spread for bread. First, to save valuable shopping time, know the point value of rationed foods. Parquet Marjor, and by the way, still requires only two rationed points a pound. Second, plan menus a week in advance and serve the most nourishing foods available. And of course, serve economical Parquet Marjor as often as you can. It's such a splendid energy food and is fortified by craft so that every pound contains 9,000 units of vitamin A. And now, a third important point. To conserve paper vitally needed in the war, avoid useless wrapping. Don't ask your dealer to wrap packaged foods. And that means the attractive yellow and blue package, too. Yes, the one that contains that delicious nourishing spread for bread, Parquet. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y, Parquet Marjoran. Tomorrow by Parquet, made by craft. Now, let's get back to the great Gildersleeve. Several days have passed since we last saw him, and though he hasn't yet been able to see Mr. Ainsworth Todd of the Summerfield First National, his hopes are high. As soon as we find him at home enjoying the comforts thereof. That thing again, I can't stand this. So he leaves home and seeks refuge down at the drugstore with his old friend Mr. Peavey. Not for you, Mr. Gildersleeve. I don't care how hot it gets, Peavey, as long as it's quiet. That's one thing I'll say for this place. It's quiet. Sometimes it's too quiet. Something I can do for you? No, I'd just like to sit here and enjoy a little peace, if you don't mind. Uh, metal hullabaloo at home? Hullabaloo? It's a madhouse. Every evening, all evening long, Is she whiz or is she ain't my baby? I can't get the darn thing out of my head. Yeah, I know how it is. Reminds me of a tune when I was a boy. You drove father crazy. That must have been 45 years ago, but I still catch myself humming it. Let's see how that didn't go now. Never mind. Let it go. I know. That's enough. Listen, that's the kind of a thing I came down here to get away from. No, I'm tired, obviously, but your mentioning tunes reminded me of it. I'll be more careful in the future. Yeah, sure, I believe we still have a record of that on our music box. Music box? You still have a music box? Yes, modern type, of course, with the flat metal, I think. The modern type, yes. I thought some last Christmas of creating a tune on a phonograph thought maybe Mrs. Peavey might like it, but then I decided to wait until they get the thing perfected. That's it. Well, maybe you're better off with the music box at that Peavey. At least you won't run into an is-you-is-is-is-you-ain't-my-baby. Hi, George Peavey. Have you ever stopped to ask yourself what the younger generation is coming to? No, I haven't. What are they coming to, Mrs. Peavey? I don't know, but I don't want to be around when it arrives. I'll tell you that. Is-you-is-is-is-you-ain't. I'll tell you one thing, they'll come to know good. No, no, no, I wouldn't say that. You can take your children now. Marjorie, she comes in here after school sometimes. Yes. The boys crowd around her, maybe two or three of them, and offered to buy her a soda. Oh, how does she handle it? I don't know how she does it, but she does. Right, George, she's pretty cute, isn't she? Yes, and the boys seem to think so, too. Yeah, that's going to be a problem. It's going to be a problem. Heck, it is a problem. She was in here yesterday with that Todd boy, the bankless son. Oh, him. That's nothing to worry about, Peavey. She can't stand him. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. Peavey, I know all about it. She's being nice to him. But she's doing that because I asked her to. You asked her to? You see, well, I can't stand the kid either, but his father is president of the bank. McGee and I are planning to negotiate a little loan so we can go into production. The mousetrap. Yeah, the mousetrap. I have an appointment at the bank tomorrow morning, Peavey, so I can just hold on to myself and keep my temper until then. And Marge, we can keep hers. We'll get what we need, and we can give Junior the old heave-ho, then. Pretty foxy, eh, Peavey? Mr. Geltis, babe, do you ever have trouble sleeping night? No, why? What do you mean? That's just good business, Peavey. You know Todd will do the same thing. You can't trust those fellas. I only asked the girl to be a little polite to the kid for goodness' sake. There's nothing wrong in that. Good night, Peavey. Mr. Todd in? Gilles' leave is my name. I have an appointment. Mr. Todd, remember me? Gilles' leave? All right, I've been here since 8.30. Sit down. Thank you. I guess you have to get up pretty early in the morning to get ahead of the First National Bank of Somerfield. Yes, sir. Well, we're all a little busy these days. By the way, we've been seeing good deal of your son lately. Fine lad, fine lad. Perhaps he's mentioned me. Not that I recall. Oh, he hasn't. Was there something you wanted to see me about, Mr. Gildersleeve? Yes, there is. Mr. Todd, you're a banker, right? I like to think so. I guess we all know what bankers are in business for to make a little money, right? The First National is interested in any legitimate proposition. Then you've come to the right place. Mr. Todd, I'd like a loan of $10,000. You would? Well, may I ask the purpose of this loan? The purpose is to build a factory. And what may I ask is this factory going to manufacture? None of your business. Well, you can't expect a loan if you don't tell us what you're going to manufacture. If I tell you, how do I know you won't steal the idea and make it yourself? Mr. Gildersleeve, the First National of Somerfield is a banking institution, pure and simple. We do no manufacturing and no selling. Neither do we wash windows. I noticed that. You're in business, aren't you? Let us say rather that we're engaged in public service. Well, you can say it, but I don't know who'll believe it, brother. Here I come in with a perfectly good invention that all it needs is a little money to get it started. And what kind of a reception do I get? Mr. Gildersleeve, if you would be so very kind as to tell me what your invention is, perhaps we could then sit down and discuss this matter reasonably. All right, I'll tell you. Certainly, I'll tell you. I'll tell you what it is. It's a mousetrap. It's a... a mousetrap. Yeah, and a darn good one. Mr. Gildersleeve, I am a very busy man. Good day. Listen, Todd, you can't treat me like this. I'm a depositor in this bank. I was just about to mention that. Well, I withdraw my account. It has just been brought to my attention, Gildersleeve, that your account has been overdrawn. Nevertheless, I withdraw it. In the future, you can withdraw your son from my power. If I don't kick him out first, you... Well, that smart alley kid, too. Teaching to park his car across my driveway. Hey, please. Here, into my study. Yes, Uncle Mord. You wait right where you are. Was that impudent young scoundrel kissing you, or was he not? I don't know. He had his arms around you, didn't he? Sort of. He hadn't actually kissed you? Not exactly. What do you mean, not exactly? He either kissed you or he didn't? Well, he... he tried to kiss me, but he missed. I might have known he'd be that kind of a boy who'd pull something like that. I knew he was a sneak. The first minute I laid eyes on him. He's not a sneak. Oh, yes, he is. He's a sneak, and so is his father. And by George, I'm going to kick him right out of this house. And right now... Wait a minute, Uncle Mord. It wasn't his fault. Of course it was his fault. It's always the boy's fault. I tried to get him to kiss me. Marjorie, do you know what you're saying? I tried to... My little niece. I knew the time would be coming soon when we'd have to face this kind of thing. Oh, Uncle Mord, it's not so serious. Not so... Sit down, my dear. Look at me, not off at the bookcase. Now, this is serious, my dear. A girl's first kiss is something very special. It should mean a great deal. But I had my first kiss two years ago. The cloakroom in junior high school. Oh, he did, eh? Well, from now on I want your kisses to be something sacred, Marjorie. I want you to start saving them for the man you're going to marry. But I don't know who that is. You? When the right man comes along, you know. You just know. That's all. You'll feel like spring in your heart, my dear. You'll find yourself thinking about him all the time. You'll be unhappy when he's not around. You'll spend all day looking forward to the moment when you'll see him. And when you're with him, you'll feel like singing. Is that the way it is? That's love, my dear, when the right man comes along. That's exactly the way I've felt ever since Tuesday. Oh! That's ridiculous. You're much too young. You're just a child. Yesterday I saw his face in my English Literature book, just as clear. Marjorie, this is nonsense. Last night I felt like singing when I saw him coming up the front steps. This has gone far enough, young lady. You send this boy home instantly. But Uncle Morris! I forbid you to see him again. But why? I'll not have kissing going on at your age. Will you send him home? No, I won't. Marjorie, have you no regard for my wishes? But Uncle Morris, this whole thing was your ID in the first place. Well, I... Oh, I only wanted you to be friendly. Why was? Can I help it if I like him? Liking him is one thing, and kissing and cuddling is something else. I won't have it. Well, can we be just friends? Can I trust you? Sure. We'll just talk and have fun like we did before. Well, we can try it. But the first time I see a sign of any monkey business... Oh, Uncle Mort, you're a darling. Now, Marjorie. You're the sweetest uncle that ever lived. Why did I do that? Well, we're only young once, I guess. Probably just as well, too. You had a little leave. Good night, everybody. This is Ken Carpenter speaking for The Craft Cheese Company, makers of parking marjorie and a complete line of famous quality food products. Craft and buy should listen again next week for the further adventures of The Great Yilder Sleeves. 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